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.1011 PIj , INTING.—Oui 'Job Printing' Office lathe
'minted and most - complete establishment" In the
)0 noty.. Fonr good Prams, andl.goneral vartotj , of
tuttorinti suited far, plain and Fanny, work of every
eAat.lis no to do Job Printing at' the ehortbot
otico, and on the moot roasonablo term's. Persona
a want of Mlle, planhs, or anything In the Jobbing
no, wilt 110 it to their Interest to give no a call.
S-PATENT AGENCY. C.-L.
1L..) Lachman, 2i Main Street, Carlisle, Pa., executes
drawings, specifications and procure); patents
14 Mb . 88.1 y.
WEAKLEY & SADLER.
ATTORNEYS AT LAW, Office No
10 South Um:lover itropt Carliolo Pa.
C. V. lIIIrIItICII
'HUMRICH & PARKER.
,t TTOIi,NEYS AT-LAW. Office on
LA. Maio St., In Marlop all, Carlisle, Pa.
JOHN CORNMAN, Attornily at Law.
.oface In building attached to Franklin House,
opposite the Court Houle. ..
lbmav 08.19. .
6. M. BELTZHOOVER,
A L 'TTORNEY AT LAW, and Real
Estate Agont, ShephordatOwn, West Virginia."
. .4Prompt attention given to nit business in Joffer
sou County and tho Counties adjoining it.
[ 4 l B. .13ELTZHOOVER, Attorney
o at Law Mee in South Hanover street, opposite
Donts's dry good storo Carlisle, Pa.
September 9, 1864.
JMIES A. DUNBAR, Attorney 'at
Law, Carlisle, P. Office lo N 0.7, Itheem's Hall
ATT ORNEY--AT--LAW.-GEO. S
EMIG, Office, in Inhofe Building, with W-
J, dimmer, Esq. Prompt attention paid to legal Mai.
ness of all descriptions.
lupl 138-Iy. .
D - . ADAIR Attorney .At Law,
J ♦ C natal°, Pa. °Moo with A. B. Sharpe, Esq., No.
17, South Hanover Stroot.
Illay 17 —ly.
TBl O+IPH ttITNER, Jr., 'Attorney, at
Law and Surveyos, Mechanicsburg, Pa. Office on
dell Road Street, twp Boors north of the Bank.
ea. Business promptly attended to. -
Ju1yr,1.864. , _ .
1. R. MILLER Attorney at Law.
( Mee in Hannon's building immodintely op
posits the Court House, .
AW cARD.—GITARLE E. MA-
I jor.,AuarthtN, Attorney at Law, oftlee In the
room formerly orrupled by Judge Oraluon.
July 1, 1804-Iy. '
Ajr C HERMAN, Attorney at Law,
(Jarlisle, Po., No. U Rheum's Hall.
.Tul_v 1. 1864-Iy.
NkriLLIA m KENNEDY, Attorney
at, Law .No.7'South Market Square, Carlisle,
April 19,1867-1 y
M. B. BUTLER, Attorney at -,
and United States Claim Agent, Carlisle,
Cumberland County, Pa.
PonsionsOlountles, Bock Pay .4c., promptly collect
ed. Applications by mnil.will receive-Immediate at
tendon, and tho proper blanks forwarded.
No foe rogulrod until tho.clalm Is Bottled.
Feb.l , ltb. 1847,4 f..
DR. GEOItGE . S. silk-
ILIGHT, Dentist, from the Bahl
- isms more Collage of Dental surgery.
'3'olllce the residence .uf his mother, East
',ether street, three doors below Bedford
July 1, 1804.
34]0, W. NEIDICH, D. D. S.-
Lat.) Demonstrator of Operative Don t Ist ry of Cho
lialtlmoro CollQo of
D a t ee l lden co
.11 poqito Marlon flail, Pool Fain street, CrillisTle, Pa.
inly t, 1854.
S. M. COYLE
COYLE & Co
j . OI3 . BERS
lloelery, Olovee, Fancy Goods nod Stationery All
• ordure will receive prompt attention.
No. - 11, South Hanover St, 6.srlhile.
a.Agents for the Chambersburg Woollen 4111Ie'
Cmar 08 ly.
E. SAI ILE Y.-
MILLINER S.; DRESSMAKER,
No. 19 South Pitt Street, Carlislo, Pn
N. D. Agent fur Stilton Inland Dyeing Establinh
DR. NIIEO. NEER
GRADUATE or PENN'A. COLLEGE OF
DENTAL SURGERY DENTIST,
Respectfully informs the citizens of Carlisle and vi.
cluity that he has taken the office No. 25, West Slain
Street, lately occupied by big Father, whore ho la pre
pared to attend to all proferaional bminess. Artifi
cial teeth inserted - on *id, Silver. Vulcanite find
Platinum. Charges moderate,
READING RAIL ROAD
- SUMMER ARRANGEMENT.
May 2toh,, 1868".-
GREAT TRUNK LINE PROM, THE ' North and
North. West for Philmlelphia, New York, Reading,
. Pottsville, Tamaqua, Ashland, Lebanon, Allentown,
Easton' Ephrata, Mir, Litncastor; Col umlia, &c.,;&c.
Trains leave Harrisburg for Now York de follows:
At 2.50, 6.25, and 8.10. A 7 51., and 12.40, noon, and 2.05
9.35, P. 91.cl:inner:Hug with similar Trains on the Pont:.
sylvania Rail Road, and arriving at Now York at 6.00,
10.00 and 11.50 A. M., - and 3.50, 7.40, and 10.30. P. M.
Slooping"Cirs accompaning the 2.50. A. SI. and 0.35
M. -Trains 'without change.
Leave ilarriaburglor Reading, Pottsville, Tamaqua, -
. Minersville,..utd, Pine Grove, Allentown and
Philadelphia, 8.1 ,A. hi., and 2.05, end 4.10, P. 61.
• stopping at Loban n and Principal Way Stations; the
4.10, P. M. making connections, forPhiladolphia and
Columbia only. For Pottsvillo,'Schuyiltill Haven and
Auburn via Schuylkill, and Susquehauna Rail Road,
leave Harrisburg 3.55 P. M.' -
Returning: Leave New York at 0.00,,A. M. 12.00,
Noon and 6.00 and 8.00 P. M.; Sleoping-trace accompan,
lng the 9.00, A.M. and 6.00, and 8.00-P. M. trainm
without, change. Way . -Passenger, Train leaven
Philadelphia 7,30, A. M., returning from Reading at
0.30, P:of.;Whipping at all Stations, Pottsville at 8.45,
A. sf-and 245,P.M., Ashland 0.00,n. m. and 12.19, noon,
and 2.00, P. M.; Taniaqua at 8.30, A. ki. and.l.oo, and
8.45, P. M.
Leave Pottsyllio for Harrisburg, via Schuylkill and
. Susquehanna Rail lioad at 7,10 A, SI. and 12.00 noon.
Reading Accommodation Traiticr Leaves Reading.
at 7.30, A. M.,' returning from Philadelphia at 5,15
' P. Mt,
Pottstown Aciabinodatlon Train: Loaves Potts
r.town at - 8.45, X. M . returning loavos Philadelphia
4 . 110, P. hi. - •
Columbia Stall Road-Trains leaps Reading 7.00, A.
SI., and 0.15, P. IL for Ephrata; Litiz, Lisctor,
C olumbia. Ac.
Porkiomen kill Road Trains leave
tion at 0.00 A. M. and 5.55 P. hi. Returning :- Lealie
Skippack at 0.45 A: M., an 1.15 P. M.; connecting
with similar trains on Reading Rail Road.
• On Sundays: Leave Now York at 8,00, P. M.,
Philadelphia 8.00, A.M., and 3.15, P. M, the 8.00 - A.
M. Train running only to Readies ; Pottsville 8.00,,
A. Id, Harrisburg 6,26 A. M. and 4.10 and 0.35, P. M.
and Reading at 1.10,2.65 and 7.15 A.M. for Hal rishurg,
and 7.00 A. M. and n. 40, P. Id. for Noir York and 4.26
P. M. for Philadalphia:
Commutation, Mileage, Season, School and Excur
sion Tickets, to and from all points, at reduced rates.
Baggago checked through; 100 pounds allowed each
PaSsonger. O. A.NICOLLS,
Bonding, Pa., May 29, 180
GA's FITTING AND PLUMBING.
Vie s ubscribers lug pormanehtly_lecated_in
Carlisle, reepieetfully shlielt A shareof the public pat,
tromp. Their shop le situated on the public Square
In the rear of the let Presbyterian Church, . where
they con always be found.
Delhi; experienced moshanics;thoy • are prepared to
execute all orders that they may be entrusted' with
In a.superior manner, and at very moderate prices:
• - WATER wunnLl3,' . .
. . HYDRANTS, , - '
. r LIFT A FORCE PUMPS,
BATHING TUBS, W ASHH DARNS - and all other imtb
Iles in the trade. • . . '., . . .. _
Phi/AMINO AND OAS AND, STEAM FITTING
promptly attenflod to In the most approved' etylo.
AGrCountry work promptly otterelml to. , '
Ant-All work guaranteed. , •
Dmillefgat tbnplace — lmmedletelyrln the rear ei
the First Presbyterian
•,, CAMPBELL lIENWOOD. •
jnly.27 :00.1y! -
. • .
Ei`.*: - tho host Photographs at
taehmates Premium , Photograph ailleri
Ma Streot j earholo Pa. , . 1
b 1 684 y.
- VOL.. 68.
1,..) INSURANCE AND DETECTIVE' COMPANY.
The above Company bets been organized for the
Insuring of all kinds of live stock against less by
death, theft or accident.
The rates of Insurance aro as lac and as favorable
as any Company of tho kind in the United Eitatcs,
while an abundant capital, and a careful manage.
moat of Its affaint; make it most desirable to''those
wishing to Insure.
W. F. SADLER.
WM; B. PARKER
W. F. SAILER, •
AYplicatlons kr Insurance can bo made to
• H. R. PEPPER, Agent at
Or to J. E. JOIINSON, Actuary, Shlppon • sburg Pa.
J. BEETEM & BROTHERS,
Forwarding and eanznkssion Merchants
(HondoKsbn's old stand.
At the head, of ALAIN STREET, Carßeif), Pa.
Tbo highest market price will be paid for Moo
Grata and produce of, all kinds.
Coal of all kinds, embracing
'l4moburners' and Blacksmiths' Coal- constantly fo
sale. Kept under -cover, end delliered dry to any
part of the towil. Also, all kinds of Lumber on hand,
'J. BEETEM & pßos.
'LINIMENT I ,
. . ..
After several years' experience with ..,
this preparation, the subscriber places • 101,,,:r-
it before the public in the con fi dent 01 1 .'"' A ~,
boiler that it will meet evgry reasons-' ~
blo expectation. A fair trial will con- 1 \
vines the most skeptical of its merits. t •
- For bruises, cuts, festering --srerefr,- -'- '-----''''
fistula, sparin, sprains, swellings, Ac., .in horses, it
has proved an invaluable remedial agent; while its
efficacy In curing diseases of thb human flesh, such
an frosted 'limbs: cuts, sores rheumatism, burns,
scalds, &c. has been fully tested. , ' •
Jair•For sale at 'turners ()revery Store and Ilug ,
Confectionary Store. 22auty_fitl-Giu.
S I=l E R '
Tincture of Roots
WILL EFFECTUALLY CURE
Dyspepsia or Indigestion,' Disordered Stomach and
Liver, Costiveness, Impurity of the Blood, Head
ache, Vertigo or Giddiness, N 4 rvous Debility,
Few and Ague, Incubus or Nightmare,
General Debility, Cramp, Colds, and
- .Pains in the, had add Side.
This is not a new Medicine; tho receipt for making
It was brought from Germany to Balthnoro,
over fifty yours ago by Mr. Klein, who Introduced It
among a few of his German friends and neighbors,
who, finding It to be an invaluable' remedy of the
above diseases, recommended it to otherS,` rmtil .it
became, and still continues, to be, -the--household
medicine of a largo portion of the tiorniaus of Galt'.
The Bitter Tincture of goots is composed of the
Juices of a number of the most valuablo roots and
seeds knofin to the medical facul th—tvlth a Iniffieb
Oncy of pure old rye whiskey to make _one of the
moat effectual Tonic Tinctures over - offered to the
public.: Every person should use_it ovary Bpriug
Bummer and Fall to purify the blood, give tone to
the sfomach and invigorate tho system,
The Itov. - Geo. - 11 - untor says :==.- - • ,
I do hereby ovally thattthaving used one bottle-of
Shark's Ditter.Tlnctum,of Roots, I have found It
invaluable for the stomach and bowels. It relayed
me of pains, nausea and costiveness and created an
excellent appetite, .I confidently redemmend it to
all as a reliable medicine. GEO. HUNTER'.
• Jan. 27th MS. -
Having been afflicted fir some time with dyspepsia,
costiveness, loss of appetite, and general prostration
of the system, I used Shork's Bitter Tincture of Roots,
and In a - short time found inyself entirely relieved;
and my health restored. .1. S. HERBST,
No. 21, North Hanover St., Carlisle.
I heroby certify that the Medicine, known as
Shark's Bitter Tincture of Roots, has to my know!.
; edge, cured costiveness, nightmare, loss of appetite
and general debility. --J. W. SMILEY,. ,
No. 33. North Hanover St., Carlisle.
Having been afflicted with costiveness for a long
time, I tried Sherk's Bitter Tincture of Roots, and
have found it highly eincient,relievlng mein a short
thou. Try it and you will find it good.
A. W. BENTZ,
No. 27, South Hanover St.,
In the smother of 1866 my health failed en. that
my whole system W. prostrated an if worn out, so
that I was unlit for business. I used Sherk's Bitter
Tincture Of Roots for some time, and was completoly
restored to health. . I believe this medians will do
all thane claimed for it. SAMUEL GOODYEAR.
Carlisle, February 1, MOS.
Having been afflicted a long time with nervous
debility and indigestion, I used, Sherk's • latter
Tincture of Roots, and .have founl. it exceedingly
beneficial, and recommend it to all as a reliable
medicine. Mrs. E. KELLER.
There is more medical firtuein one of-these- bob
Ales-than inl - galleiced - tnaiay of the Bitters and mix •
tures now offered' to the public.
MANUFACTURED AND SOLD BY
A. SCHAW.BLA & 00-.,
W. SCOTT COYLE
No 35, South Hanover Streot Carlisle Pay
Also For Sale by Druggists and all coun
PAIN VICTOR "
Cures Neuronia, Toothache and pains ip the stom
achs and bowels in .ten minutes. It never' falls to
1 ueo pains In the back, and lame backs. It Is. the
bo I .11 use for Rheumatism, Sprains Cholera, Her
ber.. on Sudimor Complaints.
The Pa, Victor Is Nature's Cure, gathered from the
vegetable kingdom, not a mineral omen. It should
be in every house—st sure and car Mu help .1n time
of need. a
a' Orbs citizens of Carlisle that have used It testify
as follows : .1..h0v0 been subject for ho last fifteen
years to attacks tif Vheinnotlem and arse back which
for the last two years had become so severe at times
that I Nada entirely disabled for business, I used your
Dr. Rock's Pain Victor this,spring, nud Part of one
bottle has entirely cured me. I recommend It with
confidence to others. JACOB MARTIN,
• ••No. 31, South Hanover Street,
--I-have used your Patti- Victor for weakness in my
back, and have found a perfect lure in a - short time.
I believe it to be on infallible cure.
Tho Roy. li. A. Brady; Pa., Bible Agent cave: I
Lave used your Dr. Rock's Pain Victor In my family,
and found it a euro and quick cure for Neuralgia and
Toothache. 11. A. BRADY..
It cured mo effectually orNeuralgid and Tooth
ache JOHN 11. LANDIS.
Dr. Rock's Pain Victor cured us of Itlfeumatiem
and Neuralgia. Mrs. LOUISA MODhtISON
Wu chearfully rocounnond you• Pain .Victor as an
invaluable relaedy for headache.
WM. 11. ..BUTLER.
JOII J. FALLER.
Mode and.sold by A. Schaubla S 00.1N0.30, South
Hanover Street, Carlisle, Pa. Where every person
afflicted with Neuralgia,. Toothache, Ifflaileacho and
Talus In the Stomach Is Invited to call and be cured
in ton minutes, froo of chargo. , .
For sale by Druggists . and all country stoma.
[[June 08-3ny! •
rtumBERLAND VALLEY RAIL:
- OHANGE OF 110 V S.l
'On and after Monday, 'May lath, 1868, Passenger
Trains will run daily as follows, phindayaoxceptody:
W E.S T WA. R D:
ACCOMMODATION TRAIN leaven Harrisburg 8,05 A. 51.
Mechanicsburg 8,28, Carlisle 0,15; blowy'lio 0,60; Ship.
_ponsburg 10,29, Qbambereburg 10,46, Greencastloll,23,
arriving at Hagerstown 11,59 A. H. •
MAIL Tamil leaves Harrisburg 1,40 P. M., Mechan
icsburg 2,13, Carlisle 2,94 Neroville 3,20, illtippons
burg 8,60, Chambersburg 4,30, Greencastle 5,05
arriving at Hagerstown 5,35 I'. M. •
ligracaa Tamar leaves Harrisburg 9,15 P. M.,
Mochanlesturg 4,47, Carlisle •5,17, Newvillo 5,50,
s burg b,17, :arriving et Chambersblirg at
6,4 P. M.
A MIXED TRAIN leaves Chambersburg 8,05 A. M.,
O reencastlo 0,27, arriving at 'Hagerstownlo,lo
E A.'S' T W - A R D:
•- AcCoaniothiTioN TILAIN loavON Chansbersburg 4,48
A. M., Shlppensburg 6,14, Nowville 0,46,' Carlisle 0,18,
Mocbanicsburg 0,47, arriving at Harrisburg 7,15
. MAIL TRAIN leaves Hagerstown 8,00 .A:. M. Oreon.
nestle 8,35, Chamberaburg. 0 1 15, iihipponsburg 0,45
Newvllle 10,10, Carlisle 10,18, MeMninicebUrg 11,20,
.arrtilog at Harrisburg , 11,06 A. M.'
Exams Titans leaves 'Hagerstown •; 12,06 , P. AL*
Greencastle 12,23, Chatobersburg ,1 10, Shlpponaburg
1,42, lierstillla 2;16, Carlisle Z6B, Dlechenlesberg 3,20,
arriving ataerrieburg 9,66 -P. M. • •
MIXED lerivom Pagorstown 3,16, P. M.
PriArienotle 9,22, arrlvldg at Olifimborsburg 6,15
AV -Making close, connections at Harrisburg with
trainsle'and' from Philidelphia '
New York,' NOW
more, Washingbitt, Pittsburg and all polo to West.
• BUPEIIINTSNDENT'ff OSTICZ, 0. N. LULL.
Ohainberoburg, Ya.,klay 8, 1868. f .• Roo..
!o, G. D . CIOI . has a prime. cigar
16r Ilya awas.
, Try them.
*v• - •
Rlingm. 8c DUNBAR, Bolitorir and Bioiirietois
1100FLAN_D . 'S BITTERS.
HOOFLANIPS GERMAN BITTER;
Hoofland's .6,erman Tonio.
Prepared by Dr., C. M. -JACKSON,
'PHILADELPHIA, PA. --
The Great Remedies for all Diseases
LIVRR,, STOMACH, OR
Hoofland's German Bitteis
Is composed of the pure Juices (or,
as they are medici
nally termed, Lo tracts) of
Il orbs and Barks, R making a prepam
lion, highly concen I V tratthi, and entirely
free from. Alcoholic admialtire of any
HOOFLAND'S GERIUS . TONIC,
Ix a combination of all the Ingredients of the Bitters,
with the purest qualify of Santa Cruz Rms., Orange,
etc., making one of .the most pleasant And agreeable
remedies ever offered to the public. '
Those preferring a Medicine free from Alcoholic ad
mixture, will tufo
Hooftand's German Bitters.
In cases of nervous depression, when some alcoholic
stimulus In necessary,
HOOPLAND'S GERMAN TONTO
The Bitters or the Tonic are both equally good, sn4
contain the 'mime
'rho stomach, from ti variety of Cause - s, such ns Indi
gestion, Dyspepsia, Nervous Debility,
etc.; Is very,gpt to V have its fuhellens
deranged. Tliesult At of which Is, that the
patient suffers from '''' several or mom of
the following diseases: '
Constipation. Flatulence, Inward Piles,
, Fulness of .Blood to tho Head, Acidity
of the Stomach, Nausea, Heart
burn, Disgust for Food, Foamed
or Weight in the Stomach,
Soul . Eructation', Sink
ing or Fluttering at the Pit
of the Stomach, Swimming of .
the Head, Hurried or ' Difficult
Breathing, Fluttering at, the Heart,
Choking or Suffocating Sensations When
in a Lying Posture, Dimness of Vision, b
Dots or Webs before the. Sight, •
Dull Pain in the Head, Den
-- ----- ciency of Perspiration, Vol
lorrness of the Skin and
B e e, Pain in.
• the Side, ' Back Chest,
Limbs, eta., •k. '
u d 'd n
Flushes of Heats Burning
in the Flesh, Constant Imaginings of Eve]
and Great Depresstop. of Spirits,
Theio remedleeivill effectually cure Liver Complaint,
Jaundice, Dyspepsia, Chronic or Nervous Debility,
Chronic. Diarrhcca, Dlicane of the Ridneye, and all
Diseases arising from u Disordered Liver, Btomach, or
Resulting from any Cause_ ,whatever
'PROSTRATION OE THE SYSTEM,
induced by Severe Labor, Hard•
.ships; Exposure, Fevers, etc. •
There Is no medielne extent equal to these remedies
in - Such — esses7 -- A - tone and vigor is imparted to the
whole flyelem, Appetite le t.rength
ened, food is enjoyed,
rf : the stomach dlgeets
promptly, the blood '7, le purified, the noun
plexion ea omes sound and healthy,
the yellow tinge is eradicated from the eyes, a bloom
L given to the •cheeks, and the weak and nervous in.
valid becomes., strong and healthy being.
Persons Advanced in Life,
And feeling . the hand of time weighing heavily upon
tam i3 withli t hte , : ::, i r ttg e daqulan a i n fin e d il i z n ir tl t i l e ia l t ie w e of
Instil new life into their veins, restore in a measure
the energy and ardor of more youthful days, build up
their 'shrunken forms, and give health and happiness
to,their remaining years.
It In bwolheotabllelted fact that fully one•half of the
female portion of our population are eel.
domin thoonjoymentL of good health; Or,
to ale their own ox prestilotytt never [col
welL " They are lan gold, devoid of all
energy, extremely_nervouo, wed havo no appetite. -
To this close of persons the BITTERS, or the
TONIC, is especially recommended.
WEAK AND DELICATE CHILDREN
Are made strong by the use of either of them remedies.
They will cure every case of bfARASidUiI wlthoff
Thousands of certificates have accumulated. iq tits
bands of the proprietor, but space will allow of the
publication of but a few. These, it will be observed,
are men of note and of such standing that they must
ffon. Geo. W.. Woodward.
Chttf ustice of chi Supreme Court of Pa., write.
Philadelphia, March 18, 1867.
°I find .11boflond's' ,
of Geriaan Bitters! it
a good tonic, useand A ful In diseases of the
digeaUve organ great benefit In
eases of debility, and . want of nervous ae.
Lion in the system: Yours truly, .. ~, •, • -
GEO. W. WOODWAED."
: Hon. James Thompson - ..
Judge of the Suln•eme Court of Pennsylvania.
• t, Philadelphia, April 28, 1800.
"I consider ' HooflantPs German Bitters 'a valuable
medicine In case of attacks of Indigestion or Dyspepsia.
I can certify this from my experience of It. • '
Yours, with respect,
• JAMICEI THOMPSON."
From iiev. Joseph B. Kenutird, D: D.,
Pastor, of the Tenth Baptist Church, Philadelphia.
Dr. Jackson—Dear Sir: I have been fit:fluently -rp.,
questeiLto connect my -name -with recommendations
of ilifterent kinds of medicines, but regonling the ;frac.
lice no out of my ap j
r propriete sphere, I
have in all moos • ,•,,; dined; but .with a
clear proof in cart 'of, I one ,instances and
particulorly in my own family of ilia
-usefulness of Dr. hoof:kind's demon Intim I
for once from my mufti cduine, to expreso my full
conviction that,. for general debility of the viten', and
apeciall yfor L iver 001/Iphfilit, it if a rdfc' and valuable
preparation. - -.ln some, COS. any fall; butaisnally, I
doubt not, It will be very beneliclal to those who suffer
from tho above cOuses. • • --,
Yew:a, very respectfully,—
J. 11. 19INNARD,
..1' bolo4r Costa St.
From Rev. E. D. Fehdall,
JuittanL Editor Christtizil Chronicle,' Ph itatthphia.
I have derived decided benefit from the two of Hoof•
land's derrium Bitters, and feel It my privilege to re
commend them as a most valuable tattle, to 011 whoare
suffering from general debility or from diseases arising
from derangement of the liver. Yours truly,
• ff. D. lIIiMpALL:
)loofland's German Remndlee are counterfeited. Bee
that the eignature of ----. 'l3: M. JAI-1100N
Is on the 'wrapper • I
' . IND of each I; ot t 10,
AS °therm aro noun - terfelt. .
Principal °Mee r - and Manufactory
at the German Medicine Storei - No:031 ARON Strnat,
r huadelphia, , ,.
• • Goiman'iiraggtOt,Proptiotok,
ACIICOON Or. CO..
For solo by all Drugglide and Denial. lo Efoglelneo.
_Ho German Sitt9rsi wiz bottle • .01 00
' g *, " half ddion • 600'
ifoolland's Clormaii.Tonio, pot Out tiottloi„7-40
• ' par bOtle, Or A hall dozen 7 . 60
Do not twit'. to - Oxixolie 77511.44010015,701.
buy, ill order to it% tbo gonntno, . '• 0: ' " •
The Melancholy : History bf Cod
"p?: , l.27,.r.;oordaronrory. ..
"hry locks thoy taxi hoary,
' . :.
-And I'll ho tho paraon."
Who'll be chief timeline. t
"I," said G. M. D. )floss,
•••, "My hook's a total loss,
nd I'll booklet mourner."
• W o'll take the spoils?
"I," said Horatio,
, • "If you will say so,
I.—l'll • —take—tho spoils.
Then all the green r backens
Fell to clghlug ond sobbing
At the loss of their chances
For plund'ring and robbing.
"ALMOST AT THE TOP."
A SOLDIER ON SEYMOUR-S'rEECII .OF OEN
At•the Academy or Music, in Brooklyn,
he other evening, Gen. Woodford, who
;Wits evidently suffering from a recent sick
ness, vinireceived withenthusiastie cliedring,
and notwithstanding his weak bodily con
ditihn spoke with intense- energy and fire.
We regret thatenr limits exclude the whole
s ( Peec 4t h. maiik so
* ' "I wish I could
justly close these words without reference to
Horatio Seynidur. But fidelity alike to
history and to my old comrades in the army,
living and dead, compel theta should speak
- 8f one passage in his history. On the
Fourth of July, 1863, when Governor of the
State, ho stood at the Academy of Music,
in Now 'York, and in it innSt ()Liberate ad
dress apologized alike for slavery, the South
and the Itehellion. He had no word of
cheer for the patient Mari who was bearing
the nation's.sorrow (cheers) in the Capitol
at Washington. He had no- word of en
couragement-formurgallant - soldiersi--who
at-vepqa life and strw , gl he r e aP a P m li o n n g gl:b it e h l i ii e ls c. in n
_Pennsylvania (cheers and dries of "You're
right"); nothing but, icy sneers, but cold
calculations, and but illy-concealed sytiipa
thy .with treason. 2 Thank God, at that. samo
hour Meade gave the lie to his - - oldquent•
sophistry as he hurled Leo back in terrible
defeat froM Cemetery Hill and Round - Top
at - Gettysburg; and :Grant's cannon made
- strange-echo to the cowardly-but-eoneealed
appeals fot compromise and surrender as
Vicksburg fell and PeinbortonV host cast
down their flags in defeat.
"A fent:short days passed, and on July 13
of the same year the terrible.draft 'riots
broke out in New York city. I charge - that
these riots were the natural, logical. and al
most necessary results of his speeches, his
teachings, and his public official acts. And
then when the storm Bad gathered, he ad
dressed those maddened, brutalized rioters
as his "friends," and besought their patience
by the plea that he had sent,his Adjutant-
General to Washington to bog that the
draft might' be suspended. (Laughter,
hisses and cheers.) 'When the tidings of
these riots and of.Soymour's conduct and
speech reached me, with my - regiment, l
ives toiling along a dusty road of Maryland
in pursuit of the retreating rebels. Faint
ing under the terrible heat, some falling and
even dying by the wayside, our men were
still pressing on.
"The loyal arms had beck, 'ictorious at
Gettysburg, ti'M we had heard t ogled news
from Vicksburg. We were weary, but still
we could see the.end and tlie-victdry-draw
ing nigh. Like thundei from a clear sky"
tell the tidings of this cowardly uprising at
our homes against the governniont and, our
flag. Strong men wept with shame and
rage. Firmlips closed'in a fiercer wrath as
Ahoy whispered the news down the ranks ;
and muskets were 'gripped with a vengeful
feeling such as Ave, had not known before in
skirmish or battle. Could we have filed that
day into Broadway there would have been
a bloody reckoning, and short work would
have been made with his Excellency's special
[A sudden movement was hero visible
through the whole audience; an instant af
terwarclg an electrical cheer burst from every
part of thrs building; many people stood up,
and' handkerchiefs had hats were waved at
We lill.loft hotne,49 light your battles,
and we felt that you wore bound • to tax
yourselves, ii need be, to your last dollar -to'
pension our widows, to succor our . wounded,
and feed our little ones. We were .thero it*
US . IIIOI for your as for our own, and
wo felt that, when our ranks grow - thin — wo
had a right to reinforcements; that You were
bound in honor to send us your young men
and your strong. young men; even if your
old men and boys had to work yotir factor
ies and your women had to till the fields.
Wo were terribly in earnest. Wo were
.fighting rebels. We meant to stand up to
our work, and we very solemnly intended
that you should stand squarely up to yours.,
(Cheers.) How reverently wo thanked God,
when the.good Lincoln and thd lion-hearted
Stanton said the draft shall be enforced.
Arid how we cheered- the soldiers who
*bro sent from our midst to onforeo the law
and', uphold the honor of
.our flag againskthe
"You Can now understand how wo sol
diets feel towards his. Excellency, Horatio
'Seymour. .In the hour, of our, sorrow and
weariness he had no encouragement for us,
no faith in our courage, and no faith in the
final victory. Now in our triumph, when
.the flag streams out on every breeze and all
our land is ono' again; wo have ...no need
for thoo Horatio Seymour: Let Sopthorn
`Rebels lout thy praiso;' lot the burtitra of
orphan asylums, and the deserter, and the
skulkerfrom the draft, twine laurelit for thy
brows; we will stand by .the old flag, whilo
"we follow the great captain of our armies;
our own Ulysses Grant.
' "At the battlo of Loolcout Mountain, .1% ;
foltowing`the line of fire, our surgeons ,
climbed- up the - hilly steep, - they met four
soldiers coming down ,and carrying - in a.
"blanket a shapeless ,mass. Laying their
burden tenderly down; they 'asked tho doc
tor to look at their wounded color aergeant,.
His shoulder and. forearm haiL. boon . tern
away by a - shell.",
"The Sur'gcon knelt, and putting the hair
back from his manly, brow, asked, "My
brave; fellow, whore war° you , bit ?" His
oyo.up`elpsed forn , ..morriont, alf„he faintly
answored "Almost. at•the "No;• no,
?IV good, man, whereabouts are'yon wound-
ed ?" 'Again his dying eye opened, again
his pale lips moved, and. lie Whispered :' "I
Tras almost at•the top, sir, bearing,tho flag,
.:the strucklue;. One 'moment
'more and'l elmuld havo boon clear Up." He
gawi due gaap, mid. his bra fe-spirit was gone
I'And so dear friends, it 'is with us to-day.
We aro. almost. at thq top.. In falth and
lovo'wo havo'carried the derwold flag for
four long years ofatrugglo, ulftil now wo aro'
above the cloud% fighting -ti JocriloOker
Cailisle, p:t.,.Fricl.h.y Augubt, 7;1868.
Who killed George Pendleton I
"'•lt vas I," says Belmont,
"Poe mina vivo twenty Lentil,
I killed Shorio.Pendloton."
..Whe antrliim dio
"I," Bald Frank Blair,
• , "And I'll swear it tnia fair,
I eati'llim die."
Who'll dig bla grave?
• ".I," littleralnek said,
"I, with my spade,
111 dtg hie grave."
Who'll mak° hls shroud? . 0
"I," said Suo Anthony,
'Who phould want any,
Pll mako kth abroad,""
Who'll toll tho boll? -
' - "Though I don't care a d—n i
"I'll 101 l the boll."
fought up in . 'the.cloar Sunlight of •absoluto
justice and right. Only once more dose up
tho ranks. Only - once more press up ,tho
molintairisldpe, and-we shall plant our dear
oldlitig clear upon the mo ntain pof a
final victory for liberty an o rig s' of
L6t any' true soldier, or soldier's friend,
or love of hiS country, read the above and
then vote for Horatio Seymour, if — lie can I
[From the Toted? Blade.]
MR. NASBY RETURNS FROM NEW YORE BE.
FORE THE ADiOURNAIENT OF TIIIC CONTEN
TION-HOW THE NOMINATIONS WERE RE
CEIVED AT THE CORNERS.
POST OkTO; CONFEDRIT X ROADS (WiCh
is to the State try Kentucky), July 18; 1858,
' didn't stay in Noo 'York till the Con
vonshon adjourned, for a most ,excellent
- reason to:wit, viz : my money run out. The
Milesian female with whom I wuz forst to
board, required - payment in advance, and
wuz nothing left for _me but to ,'succumb.
The length uv my stay redoost itself to a
mere matter uv money. .I.tried to borrowin
- aid the cheekin dodge, but goo I
Lord! wet cood I'do with an entire Con
venshen, all'uy - !ism more erdess tryin to
Ilya in the same way? I left end corns
home-while I coed, and,before it was ever
lastingly too late.. When I left I Boozed
ther- wuz no doubt uv the nominashen .uv
Pendleton.. - The " young . eagle uv the
West" had -reeeived 155, votes, and wuz
againin, and Seymour bed declined so -often ;
and so persistently that goin back on my
yeosuel disbleeof in these fellers, hovin
- a great many offices myself that I
wanton, Ireoly beleeved the cuss wuz' in
earnist, and saw nothin tha4cootl stand be
tweeh Pendleton had success. r 6Ez I loft the
Ohio river, I.got dut_the reech uv railroads
and telegraphs, and I told the people all
along that Pendleton tied bin nominated on
the 10th ballot, and that the coentry, wuz,
ablaze with enthoosiasm forhiuf and green
bax, so certain wuz I ev hfs success.-
On arrivin at the Corners 1 found that
intense anxiety wuz manifested by the citi
zens thereof. They were- all gathered ne
13ftscom'ediscussin the matter when,' hove
-in situ - on-a mulewich Ihe b'orrored at
Secessionville to ride over onto.
"Who is -- it ?" asks Dokin Pogrom,
ketchin the mule by the bridle. "Who is
it, and wet principle's hey we got to support
this fall ?"
"Pendleton and greenbax,". shouted I.
"Pendleton the young eagle uv the west,
who is opposed to-the bloated aristocratic
bondholders, which wood crush us labrin
men into the dust. Pendleton, who belee ;
yes that ef- - greenbax is good enuff for us
honest laborin mon; they are good enuff for
the aristocrat, who like the King in the
nursery. rbymo, sits- in his parlor, countin
the money. Pendle—"
_"Enuff I" sod Bascom - "antra: - Say:LS:at
speech, Parson, till - wet:ov our ratifleashun.
In the meantime, get off' and take suthin.
So goou do I feel over the .resultrikat_l_am.
willin to stand treet for the crowd.. Come
one, come.all," - -
These few remarks of Bascom's wuz, boil
ed with satisfaction-Ez_ono.man the entire
crowd-moved into-his : plaeo,-and-as-ono than
they aldasswaged their thirst. Bascom can
moye.the Corners quicker than any- man in
it. Wet a happy posishen is hizzin!
The next nite it'wuz desidedto hey a rad
ileesfien„thet , the Corners mite ,cotitriblji
I her mite towards swellin the enthoosiaem on
the bezzurn uv wich Pendleton wuz -to
sweep to glory. We met in the open air,
in frunt of - Basco:Ws', - and the .impashent
crowd called upon me to give an account of
I opened by statin that , I went to Noo
York under pekoolyerly embarrassin cir
cumstances. The whole money power uv
the east wuz arrayed agin us. The aristo
cratic Belmont, which is the agent uv the
Rothschilds, the money-king uv the world,
wuz determined to foist onto the Dimocrisy
either Ohaso-the-accufsed Abolitionist,--or
Seymour the pokoolyer pet us' Wall street,
wich street is, I marAling herb for the
benefit uv my hearers, where they sleep on
Government bends and spend the heft uv
their time,, .clippiti off the coopons."
"What is coupon's?" .tisited Dekin- Po
gram. I explained to the bleseid old saint
wet coopons waz, end wont on.
---t• This --Wall street inflooance woon.„ my
„teettirron,-.her corrupted the Dimocrisy.
'Wall street came into Tammany Ralf and
wanted to control our ackshen. But we
wuz h ent to bepurehist. The more Wallstreet
offered to enslave the Dimocrisy, the more
yoor representathies, gloryin in their mad
hood, spurned their proffered bribes. We
went there - determined to emancipate -the
yeomanry uv the country from the bondage
uv the, bloated bondholders—we went , there.'
pledged'to Pendleton, the young eagle uv
the West—pledged to-tender the bloated
bondholder, if We patio them anything, -
greenbacks for his bloated bonds, or nothin.
We wont there determined to annihilate this
yer Seemore and ids bloated supporters,."
"Rah for Pendleton I"vsung out the crowd.
"Three groans for Seymour, the bloated
Both cheers and groans wore given with
a will, and 1 proceeded.
"My friends, you novr'll ,know .wat we,
the people's defenders, bed to contenewith.
The- bloated bondholders bed money—we
had none. They were determined to fasten
ed to-hist it oil. They wuz determined to
hey Soymotir, with all
,Wall street on his
back, fastened on to you to grind you into
dust but feel in that of ho should ba nominat
ed we coocrilever support - him - me-Hz- in' ou r
mite and manfully compelled em to with
draw this man and give us the people's
choice, Geo. H. Pendleton, the eagle of
At this pint Deokin Pogrom's son Garna
ol wuz seen puttin down the htll ez fns
oz his mule (mod git.- Joe Bigler notist him
fust arid nista out uv the crowd to intercept
him: — The.boy hod - a noospapel in his hand,
with Joseph took from him and rushed to
where I wuz'standinnn,the hod Iry a bad.
- --"lhiro's the last Louisville _paper" sod
Joseph, unfolding it. "Shol I rood it 1"
• "'toed I toed !" yelled tho . crowd. • "Giy.
'us the nOozo ay the downfall uv theldoated
"Before I reed," sed Joseph, who lied
glanced at the headings uv•the tolegraft col:
lum, "give three more cheers for .Pendleton
d greenbax. llip, hip—" •
lqtali I" cheered the crowd. .
"Now three groans,. and lot them be good
ones,.for Seymour and .his. cussed. doctrine ;
wich will grind us into dust under heels
of Belmont, and aid tho furrin capitalists' by
payin tho'bonds in gold!"
Z' • • . •
oz Democrats," - continued .josof,
"boy sworn , by our altars and our flres,
noveito'support for any offis any Man 3v.ho
Wood pay a debt inkurred by a une - Onatt
Icioshno• government in .a uncopstitooslinel'
war in , anything but'tbe .debged currency.
with that -uncoonstitooshael ' government
. "Nem! never We aware!" .
"Very good,!" enid,Joaef. '. , This paper
wich I hold in.my hand, conveys.. the aflite
tin intelligence that on the twenty-second
ballot;Governor Hogitsho Boymour, of New
York, 'wuz nominated, and that Frank
"Blair wuz nominated for Vico proildent by'
acclamation. Ez Seymour is .opposod biter
ly to Pendleton's greonbaelc policy, repose;
uv coarse, the Cornors will, ropoodiate the
nekshon uv•the convonshin.'? ' • - •
, And:with adalf wich ,wuz 41;1184 in tho
extreme Josof left, the stand.'.
,The moetin broke Op ilia row; 'The Cor
ners felt that they
boon: imposed upon
and hod I not got out uv the limy I might
bey been personally I.njoored:
L ... Lk_ \\ • '.-.?„.. ' N • ~:,.\--. ',... \
.. .:, . • . ! •!. ,
, . .
- ~, • ". • !--:-.--•••:-
.: ---' - • '-., : •-: '...:;,,- '- • ' '
TEEMSj--$2,90 . in 'Advance, or $2;60 within the, year
The Deakin, Bascom, , Kornai Mere Um.,
Issalter davitt, • and I ma in the- PostedlS
after the excited crowd hed dispersed and
consulted. • We was in a ruthor a tite"Place.
Relyin on the _strength uir our' candidate,
we lied gone too far in donouncin the othOrs,
the for that matter wet coed we do? The
two policies is so cussed opposite, that we
_port the ono without dt tounclaA,
other. t wuz decided tha •wo support the
ticket. We felt it wuz safe. Saymorii, if
he is electid, - can't discriminate between his
supporter's in the distribropshon uv .the Post- .
Oleos, and after all that is the real question
at ishoo. After' givin the subjick a more
meteor considorashon, we come to tho con
clooshen that the credit and standin uv.the-
Government demanded the payment uv the
Nashnbrindebtedned in gold, and that any-,
thing short of that wood be repoodiasbin.
wonder," "that any honest
man—any man who boleeves in maintain
ing unimpaired the credit Of the Govern
ment shoed - think - for a moment uv payin
the debt in anything but wet woe contem
plated—honest, hard gold!" " At a meetin
the next nito to ratify Seymour's nomina
shOn; I sitidlliiiiiVertigin t linct asked . oni , ef
'any Dimberat who iMmembered the glorious
Ma Jackson made for hard money, wood con,
sent for a moment to multiply a irreedeema
ble paper currency? No I Lot us, ez our
glorious standard bearer Seymour hez so
boldly proChilmed, hit us pay .our debts in,
Domekratio money—gold—hard, shinin.
yeller gold. Three cheers for Seymour I"
And they cheered ez vigrously ez I ever
hcored men cheer. Ther_aint no trouble in
manegin the Dimocrisy. All they want is
to hey it'sottled wat they aro to hurrah for;
and,thw they hurrah for it. Notwithstand
ing theft paw I made the first nito, we shell
poll the yoosual vote for .Seymore, 4114 pos
sibly more. Yet tho experiment was a
leetle risky.. I will never ratify agiii till I
know wet I am ratifying and for whom.
PETRpI.F . TIM V. NASBY, P. M.,
(Wick is Postmaster.)
--FIGURES AND •ADVICE:
- Fromtliff boastful and incautious lips of
the Democracy has , fiiifein the. assertion
that they can cairy PonnsYlvania next fall
by 20,000 in'hjority. Every thinking 'man_
can fathom the intention of the utterance.
It is simply a galvanized largesse to such -
_of their adherents as are simple-minded
enough to believe it=a silly hit which an
swers their purposes in'place of. logic. Sup
pose they were called upon to indulge for a
moment in a calculation of chances. . What
would they find ?
First.—That--6n an average of the re
spective party votes, at .the leading elec
tions during the last four years, there if a
solid stailding - Majoritz in the State for the
Republicans of 10;012. We submit the g
186.1 - 290,391'11cCloilan.
❑nary in 1806 - 307, 2 74 elymer;••
15'11110ms fn 1807 Shorewood
Avert gex 290,163
, • , -
Difference, 10,012 in" favor of the Repub.-.
Secoild, They would _find tbat_last_ year
23,339 Republicans s staid away' from Oa'
eldetlons, while the Demecracy_polled
_thoir_full_vote .._within--12,405.- -This-great ,
delinquency on the part-of the Republicans
served to put into tho . moutly of - the Democ
racy the boast that they had decreased our
majority, whereas they had done nothing
of the. kind. The _difference between
23,839 lind 12,405 -Is 10,934; the-measure of
the excess of delinquency on the part of the
Republicans. Take from this Shurswood's
majority, 922, land you have 10,012; — the
stooding average of the Republican ma
jority as above. Which is to say, if both
parties hail polled their full votes the ma
jority for Williams would have been 10,012
less 922, or 9,C00. Instead, then, of havidg
a majority of 922 to go on, as they calcu
late, they have a majority of 9,090 to over.
But as both parties polled last year their
=minimgm--vote'for—the- last—four—year it
calculation based upon a percentage of that
vote will prove more nearly correct for fu
,purpo. From the data presented.
- ftboVe, - thenqpijind that the Republicans'
polled but ninety'L:pne-peont of their vote,
while the Democrats polled ninety-six per
cent - of theirs ; _ a difference of five per-cent.
Assuming that tfie full Repub.ican
strength is out in October and --November,
what a pitiable plight the Democrats will be
in, judging them from last year's standpoint,
when with an advantage of five per cent, of
more than a quarter of a million of votes
they secured a majority of only 922. The
chteirrean of the Democratic Central Com
mittee has been at his figures with. aatill
more gloomy, result. - His calculations are
based upon die maximum poll of the Re
The chairman of tho Democratic State
Central Committee of Pennsylvania in
formed a friend in Pittsburg a few evenings
-ago that it would be a hard job to carry
Pennsylvania against Grant and Colfax;
find to prove it ho demonstrated . that last
full the Democratic .judge was elected by
thousand, with the Democrats
polling ninety-fob - 1- per cent, of their whole
vote, and-the .Republicans
,'seienty-llvo . per
cent, or less of theirs.
We have - simply prefigured the future
upon the -basis of an exact calculation':.
This is our-method of acquainting the peo
_pie with the chances of the campaign. Wo
hope it WillaerVo as - nn an answer to Demo
cratic bluster and rhodomontade. What .
influence have they at work aside from their
boasting to ovalcoma this solid Republican
majorityof noorethamlo,ooo?- -Their nom
inations liave fallen like a funeral pall over
their hopes. AS...the crisis draws near they
will find it much more difficult to beget
that enthusiasm 'which is the precursor of
But whit() the above flgtirCif 'aro full of
encouragement for the Republican party,
they present also squarely the issue before
us. Wo must not Allow ourselves to, be
drowned in lethargy. • Fields easily. *on
are must soldons won. Candidates are pre
sented to us capable orolleiting more than
our whole strength. The, duty of the hour
is to we that every man is on the alert; to
see especially that, the great reserve forcog .
of tho,State aro_ brought out, -We also en
,loin upon the true men of Robuylltill; Lo
high andfCarbOn counties, whore there is an
ever fluctuating, population, the necessity of
closely, guarding the-. avenues to fraud, by.
means of which the Democratic party are
onabled.to secure unwarranted successes.
Let 'the Ropublicans.of -Luzorne redeem it
from the stigma that has so long rested up
on Rots being . th& mortar-bed•of Democra
cy where timy mix up all ages and' national-
Wes, and invariably bring them out sup
porters of Rich-party. ,Letitho countiosof
the Twenty-first district bowaro of the sys
iontatithfrauds practiced in • the last Sente
torial elootion. Centre- will hardly subroit
to, the colonization' of, four, hundred foreign
ers on 'forty rods of railroad, and to 'their:
all voting on naturalization papers rendered
antiqUe by coffee grounds. •
, For the sake of the honor of our own'city,'
we prg: our Republican friends hero to ar
'ray, theinselycs .ip•solid 'phalanx :against
foes who, as .‘proved-,in the 'recent elec.: I
flow eahos, resorted, to the meanest jug
glery to carry their point..
Thp Democratic party by their opposition
to the registry law,• and by thoir Aiowl of
:triumph at its defpat,,heyo , shown us how
much they.depend upon, fraudident agen
cies forsuccess, 'and 'havelikOwise in sub.;
stance ,dealared that-in 4tbet coming election
they will take all advantages of that defeat.
But the people of Pennsylvania can
prove h registrylaw unto themselves if so
thhy' will. ,By securing everywhero high
toned,' discriapatingprimary officerbi by a
thorough canvass, of voters In each town-
ship and precinct, and by. a determination
to insist at all hazards upon purity in the
ballot-box, the perpetration ot frauds will
become impossible, and the result a-materi
nl dirninution of Democratic majorites. •
The Republicans of Pennsylvania never
started ih a campaign Avit such promises
of success. Apathy among themselves and
year. The names of Grant and Colfax and
the enthusiasm they invoke guarantee
more than our full party strength at'tho
.polls this-year. Upon the vigilance of - our
friends depends the accurate vote of the Op
position. It is fair to prediet.that with a
true measure of paitY strength next full,
Pennsylvania will give to Grant and Col
fax a larger majority than she ever cast for
any other candidates. Phila. Press.
• • JOBIL BILLINGS ON LAGER BEER.II hay
finally cdni tow the conolusin that lager
beer as 11.. boyar/n(3ls. not intoxicating. --I
hay bin told so by a german who said: ho
bad drunk it all nit°, long, just to try the
experiment, and was obliged to cum home
entirely, sober in the morning. ' I have soon
this same man drink sixteen glasses, and if
ho was drunk he was drunk -in german and
naboay could, Understand it. It is proper
enuff to state that this man kept IL lager
beer saloon, and could hay no object in sta
ting what,was not strictly thus. .
. I believed him to the full extent of my
ability. I never drunk but three glasses of
lager, in mi life, and that made nit had on
twist as tho it was hung on the end of a
'string, but - I Was told thitt - it - WaloWin to-
mi bile being out of place; and I guess that
it was so, for I never haled over wuss than I
did when I got home that nite.. dill wife
thot i was goin tow die, and I wuss afraid
that I shouldn't, for it did seem as tho
everything I had Over eaten in illy lifq,,was
eummin tew the surface; and I do really be
lieve that,if my wife hadn't pulhe off my
boots jest as she did they- would,hav cum
thunderin up too. ' • '
01 how sicki wuz! 14 years ago, and i can
taste it now.r
I never had so much experience - in so
short A. time..
If enny man shud tell me that lager.beer
wuz not intoxicating, - I spud-believo him;
but if he4hould tell me that I wuzn't drunk
'that nit°, biltthat ml etfinamick' was out ov
order, i shud, ask him to state over -a few
words, jest how- a man felt and acted when
he was well set up.
Ifi -wasn't drnnk that nite, i had some ov
tho most hatoral - simptums that a man ever
had and kept sober. • .
In the first place it_was about 80 rods
from whore i drapk the lager beer to.him
house, and I was thus over 2 hours on the
road; mid had a hole busted through each
ono of mi pantaloon "neez, and didn't hay
any hat, arid tried to open the door- by the
boll-pull, andWet:upped — awfully, and• saw
everything in thu room trying to get round
on the back side 4,y-me; and in setting down
in a chair, i didn!t wait long enough for it
to get exactly under me, when it was going
round, and i .sot dow n a little too soon and I
missed' the chair about 12 inches, and
couldn't get up soon enough, to take' the
next ono; flint cum along: and that ain't awl;
Any , wuz az drunk - az - a - beest, and
az Bed before, i began to spin up things
.. 276 316
If Tagar - bcor is.nut intoxicating, it used
mo most almighty mean, that i know.
Still i hardly think that layer beer is in
toxicating, for-i hay bon told so; .and Lam
-probably the only man 'living who ever
drank enny when his liver was not plumb:
I don't Want to say ennything ngin a
harmless temperance boveridge, but if i
over drink any' more, it will-bo with rni
hands tied behind me, "and my mouth pried
I don't thirik, lager beer is intoxicating,
but if i remember rite, i think it tastes to
mo like a glass of soap suds, that a pickle
had been put tow soak in.
" WHAT A OLIMATE.—Dan. Marble was
once strolling along the _wharves in Boston,
when - he - met - a tall, gaunt loOking figure, a'
•"digger" from. California, and got into con
versation with it.
"Healthy climate, I suppose?"
"Healthy! It ain't anything else. Why,
stranger, there you can choose any climate
you like, hot or cold, and that too without
travlin' more than fifteen mild-Mos, Jest
think o',that the- next cold -mornin'--when
you - get o' tied— There is a mountain there,
the Sary Navndy, they call it—with p val
ley on each side of it, one hot and one cold.
Well,- get on the top of that mountain with
a doubled-barrelled gun, and you can, with
out-inovin,' kill either summer or winter
gains, jest as you wish.
"What!' have you over tried it ?"
"Tried it I often; and- should have done
pretty well, but for one thing."
"I-wanted a dog that would stand both
climates. The last dog I haddroze his tail
off while' pintin'on thd summer side. Ho
didn't got entirely out of the winter -side,
you see; true as you live."
X TOUGH FOG STORY.—A' very heavy*
fog once visited a neighboring State, which
we think somewhat Seats the fogs of London.
A young 'man was soot out to a meadow to
nail a few_courses of shingles on a barn, the
roof of Whicii; was nearly finished. "At
dinner," continues the farmer who is respon
sible for UM' story; - the fellow comes up %nd
"That's a mighty . long barn of yours."
"Not very long," sok-I—
-' "Well," soz he, "I've boon to work all
.his forenoon and have not got ono course
laid yet." • • - ' •
"W o 11,"; I, "you'ro a lazy 'follow,
that's all 1 have got to
"So after dinner 1 went down to see what
ho had boon about, end t'll bo•thundored if
he hadn't shingled out more than a hundred
feet out ontlio fog."
READ AN bun A LAY:—There was a
dad who, at-.fourteen, was apprenticed to a
soap boiler.. One of his resolutions was to'
read an hour a tiny, or, at least at that rate,
and ho bad an.old spier' wateirrleftlint-by
his uncle, -which lim4inied his reading by.
Ho stayed seven ydare: with his master, and
said ,whon ho was- twenty-one ho know as'
Much as the young squire did., Now let us
sae how much time ho bod„„to.read in, in
seven years, at the rate of one hour each - day: '
It would' be, 2,665 hours, which at the rate
of eight-reading hours per day, would be
equal,tmtliree hundred and ten, days; equal
to forty-five weeks; nearly a year's reading.
That timo spout in treasuring up. useful
'knowledge would pile up a very largo store.
I am sure it is worth trying for.,Try, what
you can do. Begin now. In fter years
you will look back upon the task as tho most
pleasant and Profitable ynli performed.
FRIVOLITIES. A TAmr, ,"FOR TAILORS.—
no single and married* tail Ors of Hartford
aro to play a game oftiasd ball, on the Park
on Thursday . It !!seems" to us the
bachelors' boast of giving fits to the mar
ried.''sniparis made out of, whole cloth!"
They may be ' , primed" hard,. but if the
young 'uns don't got a good ' , basting." und
,oglad to "Shear" off, protey thoroughly
"waxed;" you may cut the athread" of our.
disoourSe, and award us only a - , ,, thimble"
full of brains!:—Let the beaten party, ,how
over throw up the sponge 1, pookot" their
defeat, keep down their '!collar,' and -the
victors refrain from rubbing the t'nap of the
cloth the wrong way. , •
; A FOPPISH nobleman, who- saw Descartes
enjoying himself at tho table, having ex,
pressed' his astonishment that'a philoiopher,
should exhibit. such fondness of good cheer,
got this anewerfor hisvpahis • f'And pray,
my lord, did you think . ; tbet good - things
were only made for fools?" •
GRANT I 8 617# CHOIcE i •
. . - By 1.1.-NELDr - .
Air—“ God tho Qu6on."
Lot avorY hoart'reJoice : • -
With bold united 'coke, '
Grant Is our choice I
Hs - who In noblyibught,
- ,, - r --- ,110 - ,orldiati nobly brought:
• Rebellious hosto_to nought— ,
Grant loour choice I
, Though traitors seolt-to.woo,
- ' hfon'i to your onthe stand true!
' . Ife stood by•yott I ,•••
When fciul desecration
. And war's desolation
• - Spread wrOr the nation,
, The stood by you! -
Puttunt in Aaron,_
Tile Diet of wo,..—apple-troo leaves
A CRAFT-T occupaticin—shipbuildink
THE hardships of the ocean—iron Glade
A stick on the stage is bad enough, bUt
stick in a tumbler is worse. , .
--The beggar's avocation—preying for his
Tui best seats at souse of our theatres—
TEE man who feathorenTiThilit
posed to have bebh a dealer in poultry.
A Thum oysterman discouragingly says
that lifo is more dredgery.
wellthat ends well." That's why
girls with small feet are counted pretty.
W to make a rich' jam—crowd twejlty
fashionably dressed ladies into one mania's.
Wurar at sea in a'sfilp it isn't pleasant to
see .a ship ship a sea.
SOME fisherman lam ecitWfor baits; so
do some women. *. •
An . Irishman remarked of a lady . who
had been very kind to him, "Bedad she's a
--Altbough-nobody—ever saw • a perpetual
motion, somebody bas made - a perpetual
What would this world 'be without. a
women? A perfect blank--liko R shoot of
paper not oven ruled.
Tflonart men boast of holding the reins,
the women generally tell them which way
they must drive. •
The new moon reminds one of n giddy
girl; because she is too young to how
much reflection. " .
A Wheeling D. D. advertises a French
medicine, ono bottle of which Will enable a
perscin to , talk French in about threes weeks.
Longfellow's lino, "And the nights shall
bo filled with music," must be regarded as
an eneourfigemerit to organ-grinders.
• Mr, Short says the only thing he canpay
these times is his addresses to__ the ladies;
and these he nevef
„allows to get_gveidue,
Moat of the .shadows that cross our - path
thrOugh life are caused by our .standing in
our own light. . • •
The other day, Edward' Williams, of
Scranton, Pa., swain 'nine, miles. in. two
hours and a half.
'Do Totr TAKE ISNIIFEY,P - said Pinch to
Jones-, 4 4:Attain—talc° all I can got and
throw it out of the window as fac us I can."
Pinch. withdrew his piquant Maccaboy.
TEN young ladies of Chicago. who wear
falso calves, have written to the Journal of
that city excusing the practice $y saying
that said calves are a protection against
mad dogs. -
31n. Wxasn_x_put an ounce of -Peruvian
bark in his locket yesterday, just 'before
going on an excursion to Minot's Ledge.
Said ho was going ..to have his own bark on
FLORIDA must hg,a great fish country, if
we can believe an Alabama paper which
_are also numerous small
lakes of puro water, filled with fish, dome of
which are only a rear_ yodeln extent,_ while
others are front two to ten retifesin_length."
Au honest old lady, glen told of her hus
band's death, exclaimed, I do de
clare,- our trouble . nev6r comes alone I It
'aint a week since I lost my best hen, and
now Mr. Hopper has gone too, pluor man."
A Yonne-fellow, not quite so wise as Sel=
omen, eating some Orange county cheese s
full of mites, one night at a restaurant, said:
"Now have I done as - much as Samson, for
I have slain my-thousands - and my ten-thous
ands." "Yes, answered one of the com
pany,- "and with the same weapon, too—tile
jaw'-brine of an ass."
A nolit s ikaKltz discovery is reported in
Italy, by which two persons may converse
by telegraph, recognizingeren thei.sound of
each other's voices. There was• something
like it here seine years ago, between New
YEA and Boston, but it was giyea up on
account of the Now York operator's breath .
smelling so fearfully of gin I •
wott-onrowo editor of Now Jersey,
about to,liart for Long Branch, and i•oques
ted,his wife to put in his satchel what arti
.clos wero necessary for an absence of two
or thrce"days.• He lodged at the Freehold,
and in the morning opened his satchel to
take but eonid'clean linen,, when ho found'
It to contain oply a bottle of whisky
bundle of newspapers. That -- editor's wife
evidently understood ISIS traveling nocessi- . -
rElig - ONin Paris noticed a pour maia
with a wooden log. The next day he saw
3liol4lpposed beggar. but ho had. changed
the wooden leg to the; right instead of the
loft log. Enraged at the deception, ho wont
up-to tho man, and oxelainied: “You ras
cal, you had tho wooden leg on the other
.You are not 'lonic+.
~ W onsiefir,' was the response, with digeb
ty, never said I was; 1 weave wooden
leg for economy, so as not to wear out my
trousers, and I change the log so as to pre
vent one - of the logs frotn wearing out be
lore the other."
WHAT HE Tit ouarm—A cortatnateam- -
boat captain bad - become popular on the
river as , a commander, and was - about to
take charge of a now boat, ono of the-band
somestAhat was over built' in the West.• On
the evening preceding the morning ho was
to loavo port ho was induced by ono of the
owners to, visit his.house r there was to bo a
party of ladies, somo,of whom* wore to be
his -passengers to Now Orleans.. The cap:. -
thin felt a little - quoor about going; he was
more at home , on the hurricane dock, or tlie<
social :hall, of his boat, than in the
drawing-room among ladies. Ho sum
moned up courage, however; Ward and was
introdiMod to -the company. '
~ ."Captain D:, ,, micron° of -his lady pas-.
sengers, "you must be a' happy man to be'
master of so-beautiful a boat.". •
"She is, a beautiful .boat, madam: Miami
' the wetor liko a duck." Ho-' , wail in town"
ai'long as the Conversation - was ab - Out steam
, 4 .oaptain D.," said another lady, a blue
stocking .of the Lady 'Languish' tribe,'
!''what.,, do,. you. , think . of the
"Think • Madami., thinkl,! thinti. ago'
burns too naueb:iiroo - d - , -- diarrs too:MA(l47a. :
for and earrys too little froight.7i.. .
Q~tt~itutat ; of:
. Then loud Idm your best aid;
. By no man bo dismayed,
Iflainot Grant arrayed! '
For Ids cause Bis Just, •
•Whilo In God Is our trust—
. Surely coming. marmot,
Traitors arrayc7 •• .
. Though politician ant . .
, lbeir party cholcs to plant,
Throe cheolls for Grant!
They cannot him defeat—'
For countless thousands moot
With one accord to greet