tOriothal retry.
Jeft's Advent to Hades
Poor old Mlle planned secession,
Planned secession on a largo scale—
Planned seeesh the most infernal:
He seceded from tho North!nod—
From the wheat and salt and "eaters"—
From religion and from Heaven,
And from love with all its blessings :
Its to warring went and fighting—
Ho the wicked. secush fighter.
After many years of warfare,
Many years of strife and bloodshed,
Poor old Jeff was called to leave us;
was caught by some bravo yankees,
Ere the war had fairly ended.
These bravo yankees caught and hanged him,
Hanged him higher liar Haman.
Down he fell from earth to fades ;
'Ere he'd fairly reached the door-way
Came the Devil from his chamber,
From his inner private chamber,
Shaking hands sod much delighted,
Much delighted with his coming,
Asked him, why he came not sooner,
Told him be deserve I much credit
For the service be had done
him—
For the many souls he'd sent him ;
Told him, for the blood and slaughter,
For the wounded and the dying,
For the widows and their children,
He deserved the greatest credit,
Satan much perpleexd was thinking,
Since old Jeff has reached my kingdom,
I should have a title for him,
Title fOr the mischief maker.
Long he studied, it idled, studied,
Of no Oleo that would suit him,
Of no honors that would suit him,
Could he think for many an hour,
He was chief before he came hero,
He was honored with hnit. rank
And a lower gr ide won't suit him;
For he's from the South a tid- haughty,
And unless I please his nature,
He'll secede and cause me trouble.
So be thought no mire about It,
But tv sacrifice Ms own rank.
Live a private lire forever,
And make Jot) the Prineo of Devils
So he ordered servants round hint,
Little devils not halt grown,
Toll them to unscrew his lung tail,
And to screw It on 3elT Dar If :
Thus was JOT made prince of devils,
Lord of all the lower realm.
An Irish Jig and its-Results
BY J. F. WALKER. LL.
Ah my Kitty Net!. rhui up from tha wheel,
Your neat little foot will be weary from spinning ;
Come trip down with me to the sycamore boo,
Half thu,patish is there, and the dance is beginning.
The sun Is gone down, but the full harvest moon
Shines sweetly and cool on the dew-whitened -alloy;
While all the air rings with the soft, lacing things
%Each little bird sings in the green-shaded alley."
With a blush and ti smile, Kitty ruse up the while,
nor eye In the glue, as she bound her hair,
glancing;
'll . ls hard to rufuso whon a young lover sues.
So she coultnit but choose to go otT to the dancing.
And now to the green the triad groups are seen—
Each garhearted lad with the lass of hie choosing;
And Pet, without fail. leads out sweet Kitty Noll :
Sornohow, when he ache I her, she ne'er thought of
refusing. "
Now Folk Magee puts his pipos to his knee,
And, with Et iiolll,ol SD free, sets e!trh c mple it tno
tion
With a cheer and a bound, theca to ;utter the ground,
The maids move around just like swans on the ocean :
Chocks: bright as the rose, fret light as the doe's,
Now coyly retiring, now boldly adva
Search the world all around, from the sky to tle.
ground,
No - sueh sight can 1 , 0 found a- an Irish lass (lancing;
Sweet Kate: who could view your bright eyes of deep
blue
Beaming humidly through their darlt Inaba], so mildly;
Your Lairly-turned arm, heaving breast, and round
form,
Nor fool his heart warm. and pulses throb wildly!
Poor Pat feels 11141:tart •as he gazes—depart,
Subdued by the smart of such painful yet sweet love!
The Fight Iti:kves his as he cries with a sigh,
"Dance light, fur my heart it lies under your feet
love I"
allimilmno.
From " Sjmru Hourg." by JOHN BROWN, M. D
RA.B AND HIS FRIENDS.
Four•and•thirty years ago, Bob Ainslie
and 1 were coming up Infirmary Street from
the Edinburgh High School, our heads to
gether, and our arms intertwisied, as only
lovers and boys know how, or why.
When we got to the top of the street, and
.turned north, we espied a crowd at the Tron
:Church. " A dcg, fight !" shouted Bob, and
was off; and so was I, both of us all but pray
ing that it might not be over before we got
up! And is not this boy mature ? and hu
man nature too ? and don't we all wish a
house on fire not to he out before we See it ?
Dogs like fighting; old Isaac says they " de
light•' in it, and for the best of all reasons;
and boys are not cruel because they like to
see the tight. They see three of the great
cardinal virtues of dog or man- courage en
durance, and skill—in intense action This
is very different from a love of making dogs
tight, and enjoying, and, aggravating, and
making gain by their pluck. A bey—be ho
ever so fond himself of fighting, if lie he a
good boy, hates and despises all this, but ho
would have run oil with Bob and me fast
enough : it is a natural, and a not wicked in
terest, that all boys and men have in in wit.
nessing intense energy in action.
Does any curious and finely-ignorant wom
an wish to know how Bob's eye at a glance
announced a dogfight to his_brain ? He did
not, he could not see the dogs fighting; it. was
a lash of an inference, a rapid induction.—
'The crowd round a couple of dogs fighting, is
a crowd masculine mainly ; with an occasion•
al. active, compassionate woman, fluttering
wildly round the outside, and using her tonguf
and her hands-freely =upon. - the then, as so
many " brutes ;" it is a crowd annular, corn
pact, and mobile; a crowd centripetnl, having
its eyes and its heads all bent downwards and
inwards, to one common focus. .
Well, liob andtl are uP, - and find , it is not
over : a small thoroughbred; white' bull-ter
rier, is busy throttling .".a.' largo ' shepherd's
dog, anaccUstomed to war, .bat 'At to be tri
lled with: They are hard at It ; the geleiltifie .
little fellow doing his work in great style. his
pastoral enemy, fighting . Wildly,' but 'with the
sharpest of teeth and a groat courage. Science
and breeding. however, soon bad their own
the_Game__Chicken,_ _as_the_.premature_Bob
called-him,-tvoriting•his-way-upAook - his - final
grip of poor Yarrow's throat,-Land ho lay
gftWia , g and done for.' His•master, a brown,
handsorie, big young shepherd from Tweeds
rnuir, would have liked to have knocked down
any man, would •• drink up . • Esil,. or .eat a
creoodile," fotk that part if bad ,a .chance : it
was no use-kidking the little dog ; that Would,
"only make Mai hold the closer.. Many were
the ineaua sheeted °title mouthfuls, of the
best posSible ways of ending it, Water!''
but' there was norm near,.aed -many cried for
it who might, have . got it. from the well 'at
Blackfrittre Wynd. Bite tho ' tail 1" and a
large, vague,, benevolent, middle-aged. man,
more desirous than wise, With some struggle
For the Harald
VOL. 63.
A. K. RHEERE, Editor & Propr
got the bushy end of Yarrow's tail into his
ample mouth, and bit it with all his might.—
This was more than enough tor the muoh en
during, much perspiring shepherd, who, with
a gleam of joy over his broad visage, deliv
ered a terrific facer upon our large, vague,
bebevolent, middle aged friend,—who went
down like a snot.
Still the Chicken holds; death not far off.
" Snuff ! a pinch of snuff!" observed a calm.
highly dressed young buck, with an eye glass
in his eye. " Snuff, indeed !" growled the
anery crowd, affronted and glaring. " Snuff!
a pinch of snuff!" again observes the buck
but with more urgency ; whereon were pro
duced several open boxes, and from a mull
which may have been at Culloden, he took a
pinch, knelt down, and presented it to the
nose of the chicken. The laws of physiology
and of snuff take their course; the Chicken
sneezes, and Yarrow is free!
The young pastoral giant .stalks off with
larrow in his arms,—comforting him.
But the Bull Terrier's blood is up, and his
soul unsatisfied ; he grips the first dog he
meets, and discovering she is not a dog, in
Homeric phrase, he makes a brief sort of
limeade, and is off. The boys, Bob and me at
their head, are atter him: dowriNiddry Street
he goes, bent on mischief; up the Cuwgete
like an arrow—,,Bob and I, and our small men,
panting behind,
There, under the single arch of the South
Bridge, is a huge mastiff, sauntering down
the noddle of the causeway, as if with his
hands in his pockets : he is old, gray, brin
dled, as big as a little — Highland bull, and hits
the- Shaksperian dewlaps shaking as he goes
The Chicken makes straight at. him, and
fastens on his throat. To our astonishment,
the great creature does nothing but stand still,
hold himself up, and roar—yes, roar; a long,
serious, remonstrative roar. llow is this ?
Bob and I are up to them.- He is muzzied
Thu bathes had proclaimed a general muz
zling, and his master, studying strength and
economy mainly, had encompassed his huge
jaws in a home made apparatus, constructed
out of the leather of s itne ancient breechin.—
Ills mouth was opeo as far as it could; his
lips curled up tu rage—a sort of terrib e grin;
his teeth gleaming ready, from out the dark.
ness; the strap across mouth tense as a
howsiring; the whole frame stiff with indig
nation and surprise; his roar asking us all
round, " you ever see the like of this ?"
He looked a statue ot'anger and astonishment,
dune in Aberdeen granite.
We soon had /I crowd : the Chicken held on
" A knife 1" cried Bob ; and a cobbler gave
him his knife: you know the kind of -knife,
worn away obliquely to.a point, and always
It - cen. I put its edge to the tense leather ;
it ran before. it ; and then one sudden jerk
of that enormous head, a sort of dirty mist
about his mouth, no noise,—and the bright
and fierce little lellowds dropped, limp, and
dead. A solemn pause this was inure than
any of us had bargained for._ I turned the
little fellow o‘er, and saw lint was quite dead;
the inI.SI ill had taken him by the small of the
back like a rat, an•.l broken it.
H >r. C
Ili looked down at his victim appeased,
ashamed, and amazed ; snuffed him all over,
stared at hint, and taking a sudden thought,,
Limed routiaand•trOtted off. Bob took the
dead dog up, and said, 4•John, we'll bury him
alter tea." ‘• Yes," said I, and was off'after
the mastiff. lie made up the Cowgate at a
rapid swing; he had forgotten some engage
ment Ile turned up toe Candle maker Row,
and stopped at the Harrow Inn.
There was a earner's cart ready to start,
and a keen, thin, impatient, black a vised lit
tle man, his hand at his gray horse's head,
looking about angrily for something '' Rah,
ye thief I" said be, aiming a kick at my great
friend. who drew cringing up, and avoiding
the heavy time with more agility than dignity,
and watching his Master's eye, slunk dis
mayed under the cart, —his ears down, and
as Much as he had of tail 'down too.
What a mau this in:ist be thought I—to
whom my tremendous hero turns tail! The
carrier saw the muzzle hanging, out and use
less, limn his neck, and 1 eagerly told him
the story, which Bub and I always thought,
and still think, Homer, or King David, or Sir
Walter alone were worthy to rehearse. The
severe little man was mitigated, and conde
scended to say, ktab, my man, puir Rah
bie,"—whereupon the stump of a tail rose
up, the ears were cocked, the oyes filled, and
were comforted; the two friends were reeon
llupp !" and a stroke of the whip
were given to Jess; anti oil went the three.
" Pub and I buried the Game Chicken that
night (wo had not much of a tea) in the back
green of his house in Melville Street, No. 17,
with considera'ole gravity and silence ; and
being at the time in the Iliad; and, like all
buys, Trojans, we called him Hector of course.
Six years have passed;.---a long time for a
boy Mid a dog : Bob Ainslie is off to the wars;
I am a medical student, and clerk at Miato
House hospital.
ltab I saw almost every week, on the
Wednesday ; and we had much pleasant inti
macy. I found the way to his heart by Ire
quent scratching of ; hi . huge head, and an
occasional bone. When I did not notice him
ho would plant himself straight before me.
anti stand wagging that bud of a tail,. and
looking up, with ids head a little to the ono
view } ails mas:er I occasionally saw ; he
us di call mo Moister John," but was
conic as any Spartan.
One fine October afternoon, T was leaving
the hospital, when I saw the large gate `open,
and in walked Rat) with that great and easy
saunter of his. lle looked as if taking:gen
eral possession of the place ; like the Duke
of Wellington entering a subdued city, satin
ted with'victory and peace.. After him -came
Jess, now white-from age, with her cart; and
in it, a. woman,, carefully wrapped up,—the
carrier leading the horse anxiously, and look
ing habit,. When be'saw me, James (for bls
mom was James Noble) made n curt-and gro•
League " boo." and said, " Meister John, this
is the mistress ; she's got a trouble in her
breast—some kind o' an umonloyfe're think
,-By.,thia.time-1-saw-the-woma,n's face ;_ she
was sitting on a sack filled with Niraw, her
husband's plaid round her. and his big•ootit
with its large white metal buttons, over' her
toot.. ,
- -
I never saw.a more unforgetable fam—palo
serious,t delicate, sweet, without - being at all
what we calltine.. She looked sixty, and had"
on a clutch; aii snow, with its black
ribbon ; her silvery, smooth hair setting off
her dark'gray
_oyes—eyes such as ono sees
only4wice or thrift in a lifetime, full' of suf
foripg, lull also of the overcoming of it : her
eyebrOWS blaok and'delioe.te, and her, mouth
flt is not easy giving tile look by Ono word; It was
expressive other boing so much of her fife alone. -
(11 mirk .
A
CARLISLE, PA., FRIDAY, APRIL 3, 1863.
etor
firm, patient, and contented, which few mouths
ever are.
As I have said, I never saw a more beauti
ful countenance, or one more subdued to set
tled quiet. " Allie," said James, "this is
Meister John, the young doctor; Bob's
freend, yo ken. We often speak about you,
doctor." She smiled, and made a movement,
but said nothing; and prepared to come down,
putting her plaid aside and rising. Had Sol
omon, in,all his glory, been hanag down
the Queen of Sheba at his palace gate,_ ho
could riot have done it more didtuily, more
tenderly, more like a gentleman, than did
James the Howgate carrier, when ho. lifted
down Ailie his wife. The contrast of his
small, swarthy, weather-beaten, keen. world
ly face to hors---pale, subdued, and beautiful
—was something wonderful. gab looked on
concerned and puzzled, but ready for any
thing that might turn up,—were it to stran
gle the nurse, the porter, or even me. Ailie
nod he seemed great friends.
As I was sayin' she's got a kind &troub
le in her breast, doctor ; wull ye telt' a look
at it ?" We walked into the consulting-room,
all four.; Rab grim and condo, willing to bo
happy and confidential if cause could be
shown, willing also to be the reverse, on the
same terms. Ailie - sat down, undid her open
gown and her lawn handkerchief round her
neck, and without a word, showed me her
right breast. I looked at and examined it care
fully,—she and James watching ate, and Itab
eying' all three. What could I say? there it
was, that had once*cen so soft, so dhapely,
se white, so gracious and bountiful, "full
of 'all blessed conditions,"— bard-as a stone, a
centre of horrid pain, making that pale face,
with its gray, lucid reasonable eyes, and - ifs
sweet resolved mouth, express the full meas
ure of suffering overcome IVlty was that
gentle, modest, sweet woman, clean and lov
able, condemned by God to bear such a bur
den ?
I p.t her away to bed. " May Rab and me
bide!" said Tames " You may ; and Rab,
if, he will behave himself." " l'se warrant
he's do that, doctor ;" and in slunk the faith
till beast. I wish you could have seen him.
There are no such dogs now. lle belonged
to a lost tribe. As 1 have said. he was brio
died and gray like Rubislaw granite; his hair
short, hard, and close, lice a ; his body
thick set, like a little bull—a s,,rt of oom
pressed liercdles. of a dog Ile must have
been ninety pounds' weight, at the least.; he
had a laige blunt head ; his muzzle black as
night, his mouth blacker than any night, a
tooth or two—being all tie had—gleaming out
of his jaws of darkness. Ma head was
scarred with (he records of old wounds, a sort
of series of fields of battle all over it ; one eye
out, one ear cropped as close as was Arch
hi. , hop Leighton's ; the remaining eye
had the power of two ; and above it, and in
constant commnoitiation with it. was a tat•
tered rag of an ear, which was forever un•
furling itself, like an old flag; and then that
bud of a tail. about one inch long, if li could
in any sense be said to be long, being as
broad itS long—the mobility, the institute
neousnesS - of that bud were very funny and
surprising;. and its expressive twinklings and
witakings_ the., intercommunications-- between
the eye, the ear, and it, were of the oddest
and swiftest.
Bab hat the dignity and simplicity of
great size ; and having fought his way all
along am road to absolute supremacy, he
was as mighty in his own line as Julius Cie
sar or die Duke of Wellington, and had the
gravity 1, of all great fighters.
You must have often observed the like
neSs of certain men to certain animals, and
of certain dogs t men. Now, I never looked
at Rob without thinking, of the great Bap
tist preacher, Andrew Fuller.* The seine
large heavy, menacing, combative, sombre,
honest countenance, the same deep inevita
ble eye, the same look,—as of thunder
asleep, but ready,—neither a dog nor a man
to be trifled with.
Next day, my master, the surgeon, exam
ined Allis. There was no doubt it must
kill her, and soon. It could be removed—
it might never return—it would give her
speedy relief—she should have it done. She
curt ised, looked at James and said, " When?"
To-morrow," said the kind surgeon—a man
of few words. She and James and I re
tired. I noticed that he and she spoke lit
tle, but seemed to anticipate everything in
each other. The following day, at noon, the
students came in, hurrying up the great
stair. At the first landing-place, on a small
well-known blackboard, was a bit of paper
fastened by wafers, and many remains of
old wafers beside it. On the paper were the
words,—" An operation to-day. J. B. Clerk."
Up ran the youths, eager to secure good
places : in they crowded, full of interest and
talk. What's the case ?" " Which side is
it ?"
Don't think them heartless ; they are
neither better nor worse than you or I t ; they
get over their professional horrors, and into
their proper work—and in them pity—as an
emotion, ending in itself or at best In tears
and a long-draWn breath, lessens, while'pity
as a motive, is quickened, and gains power
and purpose. it is well for poor human na
ture that is SQ.
'The operating theatre is crowded ; much
talk and fun, and all the cordiality, and stir,
lof youth. The surgeon with his stall of ati;
sistants is there. In comes Ailie ; one look
at, her quiets and abates the eager students.
That'beautiful old woman is too much for
them ; they sit down, and are dumb,' and
gaze at her. These ,rough boys feel the .
power Of her presone°. She Walks in quick- .
ly, but without baste ; dressed in her napteh,
• her neckerchief, her, white dimity short-go*n,
her blaak,hombazine petticoat, showing her
white worsted stockings and her carpet-shoes.
Behind her was •Jantes with' Rah. James
sat' down 'in.'tha.d.islece, and took that huge
and - noble head bet Ween his knees. Rab
perplexed__. anddaftgerousl-forever
.eoeltingihis_ear_
j A highland game keeper, when asked why a certain
terrier, of singular pluck, wan so much more solemn
than the other, dOgs,:eatd, " Oh, Sir, life's full o' Bahl ,
oneness to hitn—liejust'u ever can got enutf re."
- --*Fuller was, In - early - ilfe, when a farmer hid lit So.
ham, &mime as a.boxer ; not quariels-nne, - but not
without " the stern delight" a man of strength and
courage fuels In their exercise, Dr.Uharles Stewart, of
Dopoarn, whore rare gifts and graces ac a physician, a
divine, a schelar, and a gentleman, live only In the
memory of those P6l , lwho know and eurvivo him. liked
to tell how Mr. Fuller used to say, that I,rhon ho was
in 'tile pulpit, and saw a: butrilly man %Imo along' the
passage, he would instinelvely draw himself up, meas
ure hie imaginary' antagonist, and forecast how ho
would deal with him, hie hands meanwhile condone.
ing Into fists, lend tending to "square." Ho must
have been a hard hitter It he boxed as 'be preached—
what.'" The Fancy" weauldeall an•ugly customer."
TERMS :--$1,50 in Advance, or $2 within the year.
Arlin stepped up on a seat, an( laid her-
self on the table, as her friend the surgeon
told her; an anged herself, gave a rapid look
at James, shut her eyes, rested herself on
me, and took my hand. The operation was
at once begun; it was necessarily slow ; and
chloroform—one of God's best gifts to his
suffering children—was then unknown. The
surgeon did his
_work. The pale face showed
its pain, but was still and silent. Itab's
soul wai , vorking within him ; he saw that
something strange was going on,—blood
flowing from his mistress, and she suffering;
his ragged ear was up, and importunate;
be growled and gave now and then a sharp
impatient yelp ; he would have liked to have
done something to that man. But James,
had him-firm, and gave him a glower from
time to time; and an intimation of a possi
ble kick ;—all the better for James, it kept
his eye and his mind off'
It is, over: she is dressed, steps gently and
decently down from the table, looks for
James; then, turning to the surgeon and
the students, she curisies,—and in a low,
clear voice, begs th it pardon if she has be
haved ill. The students—all of us—wept
like children; the ,surgeon happed her up
carefully,—and, resting on James and me,
Attie went to her room, Rab followin g . We
put her to bed. James took off his heavy
shoes, crammed with tackets heel-ca t, and
toe-rapt, and put them carefully under the
table, saying, "Maister John, I'm for nane
o' yer strange nurse bodies for Ailie.
be her nurse, and I'll gang aboot on my
stockin' soles as canny as pussy." And 8o
he did; and handy and clever, and swift and
tender as - any woman, was that bOrney
handed, snell, peremptory little man. Every.
thing she got he gave her : he seldom slept ;
and often 1 saw his small shrswd eyes out of
the darkness, fixed on her. As before, they
spoke
CONCLUSION NEXT WEEK.
A Wier, REBUK.E. —The following anecdote
is related of the late excellent Joseph John
Uurney; of Earlham, by one of his family
circle :
' One night, I remember it well, I received
a severe lesson on the sin of evil speaking.
Severe I thought it then, and my heart rose
in childish anger against him- who gave it;
hut I had not lived long enough in this world
to know how much mischief a child's thought
less talk may do, and. how often it happens
that talkers run off the right line of truth. S
did not stand very high in My esteem ; and
I was about to speak further of her failings
of temper. In a few moments my eye caught
such a lork of calm and steady displeasure
that I slopped short. There was no rnistak- ,
inc. 's the meaning of that dark, speaking eye.
It brought the color to my' face, and confu_
Rion and'alime to my heart. I was silent for
a few mot:fonts, when Joseph John Gurney
asked very gravely :
• Dost thou know anything good to tell us
of her V
I did not answer, and the question was more
' Think, is there nothing good thou ennst
tell us of her ?
'Oh yos, 1 know some good things, but,'
Would it not have been better, to relate
those good things than to have told us that
which lowers her in our esteem ? Since there
is good to relate, would it not be kinder to be
silent on the evil ? For charity rejoiceth not
at iniquity.'
THE GENTLEMAN,—it is no very uncommon
thing in the World to Meat with men of
Prot.ity ; there are likewise a great many men
of Honor to be found, men of courage, men
of sense, and men of letters are frequent but
a true gentleman is what one seldorns sees
lie is properly a compound of the various good
qualities that embellish mankind. As the
great poet animates nil the different parts of
learning by the force of his genius, and it
radiates all the compass of list Knowledge by
the lustre and brightness of his imagination.
So all the grett and solid perfections of life
appear in the finished gentleman with a beau•
tifut gloss and varnish ; every thing ho says
or does is accompanied with a manner or rat h
er a charm, that draws the admiration and
good will of every beholder.
"CLAs4 in the middle of geography, stand
upl What's pyramid?"
"A pile of men in a circus, one on top of
the other."
" Where's Egypt 7"
" Where it always was."
" Where's Wales?"
"Ali over the sea."
" Very well—stay there till I show you a
species birch thatgrows all over the country."
A WESTERN editor, who hasn't a wife to
take care of him, wont the other night to a
ladies' fair. he says that be saw there "an
article" which he" fain would call his own,"
but it was not for sale. He declared that
since that night he has been " wrapturously
wretched. "As the article was bound in hdops,
the reader is left to infer that it was either
a girl or a keg of whiskey,
Etir• A femnle Copperhead, of Muscatine,
lowa, wife of the President of the Detnooratio
Club iu that_eity, on the (mansion of tho
(Mention of Washington's Birthday. walked up
to the American flag floating in the streets, in
the prosence,of a largo number of people, and
spit upon It. The venom of this reptile in
pettiootite diCittle or no injury to the flag..
u==2
, .
- , 44r.. 'Pa, didn't you whip me for biting
To al 1 1 " res . , my child, for you Jiurt'him
*cry much." "'Weil, then, pa, you ought to
whip tnama's music- teacher, for ho bit her
yesterday in the mouth, and it hurt her,
hp
cause alio put her arms around his nook and
tried to choke him."
• SEND - four child to bed happy.-
1 1 -whatever-cares-preesr give -it a good - kiss - as
it goes to its pillow. • The memory of this, iu
the stormy years which fate may have to
store for the little one, will be like Bethlehem's
-star to the - bewiidered shepherds:
PROFANB language is abominable. Loud
laughing is impolite. liiituisitiveness is of
fensive. Tattling is niean. Tolling lies is
contemptible. Sla ndoring is devilish. Jg
norance is disgraceful, and laziness is •sha ma
Or A lady writes to be that 'she is anton
ished• at our. denunciation of deserters. We
aro aatouieiked at tier patoniabeueut. ~ercntiec,
MARK THEM!
DEDICATED TO CHARLES INOERSOLLAND
OTHER COPPERHEADS.
Brand them! On their foreheads brazen,
Sink it deep!
Let the traitor's shameful blazon
Never sleep.
Brand them, e'en ns Gatu wag branded,
Through the world
Let their scroll of shame he handed,
Broad unfurled.
Brand them in the public highways
With your scorn,
Bid the mark In private byways
Still bo borne.
From tho board, where true mon gather,
Drive thorn out:
Fill the feast with strangers, rather
Than this rout.
Trade with foe or sup with stranger,
Pass these by,
Who, amid their country's danger,
Bid her die I
Plotting treason foul, inhuman,
'Cialn.t their land,
With such traitors let no true man
Strike hie hand.
Through the coming ienorations,
Let their name
Ily-word be, for execrations,
Scorn and shame, . .
Brand them deep, thOugh dlrest ruin
On them fall,
They who plot their land', undoing. -
forfiyit all.
7.").
No time this to prate or palter—
Mark them well'
Sink them, patriot, without falter,
Deep as hell
The Printer and the Dutchman.
A journeyman printer lately set out on foot
for the interior of Ohio, a distance of five hun
dred miles, with an,,old brass rule, and three
dollars cash in his pocket. Ile soon found
himself in Pennsylvania, and being weary
called at the inn of a Dutchman, whom he
found smoking his pipe, when the following
dialogue ensued :
"Veil. Mishter Sthich, vat you want ?"
"Refreshments and repose."
"Supper and lodging, I reckon ?"
•Yes sir supper and lodging."
"Pe-you a Yankee pedler, tail chowolry on
on your path to cheat te_girls!"
"No sir, no Yankee pedler. ,,
"Singing teacher, too lazy to work?"
"No sir."
"A ghenteel shoemaker, vot stchoy
Saturday night, and laysh here drunk in de
porch, after Sunday ?"
"No sir, or I should have-mended my boots
before this. But lam not disposed longer to
submit to this outlandish inquisition. Can
you give me L eintipefiridlodging ?"
'Tshortly. But vot be you! A book
ancient taking honest people's money for a
thaLonly—malzes--43 as-y--VL --
"Try again, your worship."
"A dentist, breaking to people's chows at a
dollar a sabring, and running off molt old Bock's
daughter ?"
"No sir, no tooth puller."
"Kernolgous den, feeling to young folks'
heads, like so many cabbiton, and charging
twenty five cents for telling their fortunes,
like a blamed Yankee ?"
"No air, I am no phrenologist, either, your
excellency."
"Veil, deo, vet de tifle be you? Choost
tell and you shall have some of the best ens
s•ngers for supper, and schtey all night, free
gratis mitout charging you a cent, mit a chill
of whiskey to start on before breakfast,P
"Very well, your honor, to terminate the
colloquy without farther, circumlocution, I am
an humble disciple of Faust—a professor of
the art preservative of all arts-,a typographer
at your service!"
"Votsach dat
"A printer, sir, a man that prints books and
newspapers."
"A man vot prints noospapers ! Oh ! yaw,
yaw ! By choopiter ! aye, aye, dastoh it a
man vet prints noospapers; yaw, yaw! Valk
up, valk up, Mister Brinter! Cheems, take do
chentleinap'E; back off; Chola,, bring some
junks to do fire. A man vot prints noes paper!
I wish may be shot if I didn't think you was a
tailor'!"
VIE FINANCIAL TEST . —GoId i 8 worth, in
Richmond, four. hundred and 'twenty five per
cent. It costs four dollars and a quarter in
oatefderate money to buy one dollar in gold.
The secessionists in the North who have been
so eager to argue from the depreciation of
United States ourrenoy, when gold was at
seventy per cent premium, that the Federal
Government was on its last legs, and sure to
fail if the war was prolonged, would do well
to ponder on the last financial news from the
rebel capital. We do not , want a, more em•
phatio confirmation of the justice of our cause
and the stability of our Government thin we
find in the depreciation of the currency with
which the rebels hitve attempted to support
their efforts against the Union.
VS" Goiria.—A gentleman met another la
the street, who was ill of a consumption, and
accosted him thus : "Ah ! my friend, you
walk slow," "Yes," replicii the man but I am
going fast." -
Na m What is the difference between a boy
running. after a girl and a boy running after
a carriage ? One abases the miss and the
other tnisses the °bailie. - '
mg:4... I go through my work," se tho nto3le
said to the idle boy. " But mot till you aro
hard pushed," as tho idle boy amid to the nee•
dle.
. alr Why did William Tell shedder when
ho idiot ilio applee - from his son's liiad? Be
- 011USTit WKS att - arrow - osttigo to-r
. ,
Ete.. ly aDE I a little to be dreaded when
man tine a ehert time left to,be Miserable.—
poverty; that! -- nr the mind is . the most
deplorable. ' '
liar Overt , :!inn friends, like' hot potatoes,
nro quickly dropped.
/air , A'man's money seldom% grows more.
that halfas fast as his love of it. . •
A rt.e . 7,sert likes cold weatherat the proper
'e oeson.; bet no earieyfrest iu ftuteTo. , :goes
against his ;4rafit," •,'• •
A Afoo t respectable lady not a 'thousand
miles away, had long noticed, to,her dismay
that her ..vrorser half' Was growing foolishly
suspicious and joalouirof her, She resolved
to teach him a lemma.
Some evening since. as he was leavings, she
told him be need not hurry baok—she would
not be lonely—she wiebed her ducky to en
joy himself, etc. Benedict smelt a veritable
mice under that hypocrisy, and resolved to be
avenged. About eight o'clock, "an indiv
idual," about his else, might have been seen
creeping cautiously along to the door, and
noiselessly Benedict peeped in. Just as be
expected,
.there they were—a pair of boots, a
coat on the back of a chair, and a hat on the
table. Benedict shivered like an aspen leaf,
as he stopped, pulled off his boots, and drew
a pistol from his coat pocket With "resolu
tion flashing from his eye," he made tracks for
the bedroom. There he was, kneeling at the
bed side, coat and vest. off, and bead on the pil
low. Miserable villian—his time bad come.
NO. 13.
"Say your prayers, Villian—your time
short," and flash and a report told that the
bullet bad sped on its fatal mission.
"Help, murder, watch ! Oh, is that you?"
and madam popped her little head up from the
foot of the bed.
Benedict seized the body, and B.) was a
miscellaneous collection of old coais, vests,
pillows, handkerchiefs, and the like, made up
for the occasion.
" I say, my dear what (lobs all this mean
exclaimed the husband, with a blank sheepish
look.
Well, dear," replied the wife, "I did get
lonely, after all, and just amused myself by
dressing up that puppet, and winking believe
you were at home. I'm sure, I didn't think
you'd suspect."
"There, there." said the chagrined hus
band, "say no more about it; I thought it was
a robber ; dear creature, I'm so glad it -didn't
bit you."
Benedict now repeated, _"Now I law me,"
etc., and went to bed, resolved not to watch
any more at present.
RorEstnertHOME.—Fortunate unspeakably
fort imate—is the young man who bas a home
that he loves, and dear ones nestling there
to whom her heart goes out in immeasura
ble yearnings of affection. The youth who
has conic to the city to - seek - his fortune, is
guarded as by an angel from Heaven, when
he carries fresh in his memory the picture
of an humble cottage home which shelters the
dear ar.d venerated being who gave him birth.
The thrill of her loving touch, as she laid
tier hand upon his head in blessing, ere he
turned his footsteps towards the great city,
shall hold him ever in the Path of Life, and
charm the Tempter away. And still more
blessed is he if he has to devote a portion of
wages to the support of that home, and of
those dear ones whom he so loves. In such
n case, his earnings are hi flowed with a sa
credness which communicates itself to his
character, and and is exhibited in blossoms
of -noble duteousness. The consciousness
that the wages of his toil gladden, and beauti
fy, a. d make comfortable, the Ironic of his
childhoood:and the authors of his being,
gives a dignity to his labor, and a delight
in its reward, such as no mere selfish spirit
of acquisition can impart. Therefore, oyo
young men, remember your paternal homes,
and devote at least a portion of Foilr earnings
to the making of them brighter and happier,
that your own lire path may be brightened
by the, ffulgenco which is ever radiate.' from
good deeds.
A PnYstetsN of Cincinnati, who had lost his
morning's milk from the front area, recently
put an emetic in the pitcher and the next
morning discovered a policeman, a little dis
tance from his house, making his "returns."
BM. A lawyer wrote rascal in the hat of a
brot-hee 4ow-yer v -who r - on-discovering- ici-en
tered a complaint in open court against the
trespasser who, he said, had not only taken
his bat, but had written his own name in it.
Why is a mouse like a load of hay 1 Be
cause the cat'll eat it.
The Monroe Teachers' Association met st
School House No. 9 March 14th, 1863 at 10 o'
clock A. M. House called to order by the
President. Roll called, absent Miss Gleim
and Mr. Plank. Minutes read and approved.
Selections were read by Messrs. Biogaman
and Eberly. On motion the subject of Com
position was taken up and discussed by Messrs.
Eberly, Bingaman 4 Goodyear. Titzel, J Good
year, and D Stees, and Misses Gleim and
Euok. Adjourned till 1 o'clock P. M.
Afternoon Session : Mr. Cain naked wheth
er teachers or directors had the power by law,
to expel n pupil who willfully absents him
self from school on examination day. A few
of the directors and others gave their opinions
on the subject, after which, the questions; "Do
teachers receive a just renumeration for their
services," was discussed by teachers, direol
tors, and others. Tho committee appoin
ted to draft resolutions being called upon,
reported the follwoing, Preamble and Resolu
tions, which were adopted:
PluEnr.As, we as teachers of Monroe DM
triot, have spent very profitable, as well as
pleasant times in our District Associations
therefore.
Resolved ; That these Associations are of vital
importance to every teacher in our country as
well as state, in interchanging opinion, in
building each other up In his labors of love,
in enlivening and awakening each other to a
true sense of dignity and importance of the
teachers vocation, and in instructing teachers
in their duty to each other, to the public at
large, as well as to those immediately under
their charge.
Resolved : That no live teachers will over
absent themselves from the Association, but
will be so interested therein, as to plainly show
to those around then), that they are teachers
in every sense of the word.
Resolved; That the thanks of this Assool
elforinre duo, andare hereby tendered, to
Board of Directors of this township .for
their unfailing interest manifested is the suc
cess of the teachers under their care, as well
as in all things pertaining to - the advancement
of the cause of education.
Resolved: That we as teachers, deeply feel
for our unhappy country in this her
_hour of
trial and tribulation, and that we aro willing
to lay our lives, our fortunes, and our all up.
on our country's altar for the suppretision of
this unholy rebellion; that we never have.
and never will recognize any other flag than
the Star Spangled Banner.
The I thanks of the &seal - talon- were—toe
deted to Messrs. I). Stees, J. Goodyear, and
1. W. Leidigh for the part taken by them in
in the exercises.
A motion was mado to oghonerato all mna
hers from flues incurred-4 them, durfug , the
day for the non performance-of -duties, .which:
after n long discussion, was agreed to:: 'The
following resolution 'Was pissed."' . 4 .
Resolved ; That, the th4pits of the Associa
tiou are due and aro hereby ..tandered. , _to
Nesers. J. Ventis4l6n," Q. Weller, Ci.
diet. Gl. Beltzhoover, and alters preeelic fat
their' hospitality, as .well as for.their !Mena
&moo the.incetingat ; our. A,seoeiatiOD., Ad•
journed sine die.
..'" .81 P."9oofirtAß; gobry,
A Smart Woman
edurationzal.
Teachers' Institutes