tOriothal retry. Jeft's Advent to Hades Poor old Mlle planned secession, Planned secession on a largo scale— Planned seeesh the most infernal: He seceded from tho North!nod— From the wheat and salt and "eaters"— From religion and from Heaven, And from love with all its blessings : Its to warring went and fighting— Ho the wicked. secush fighter. After many years of warfare, Many years of strife and bloodshed, Poor old Jeff was called to leave us; was caught by some bravo yankees, Ere the war had fairly ended. These bravo yankees caught and hanged him, Hanged him higher liar Haman. Down he fell from earth to fades ; 'Ere he'd fairly reached the door-way Came the Devil from his chamber, From his inner private chamber, Shaking hands sod much delighted, Much delighted with his coming, Asked him, why he came not sooner, Told him be deserve I much credit For the service be had done him— For the many souls he'd sent him ; Told him, for the blood and slaughter, For the wounded and the dying, For the widows and their children, He deserved the greatest credit, Satan much perpleexd was thinking, Since old Jeff has reached my kingdom, I should have a title for him, Title fOr the mischief maker. Long he studied, it idled, studied, Of no Oleo that would suit him, Of no honors that would suit him, Could he think for many an hour, He was chief before he came hero, He was honored with hnit. rank And a lower gr ide won't suit him; For he's from the South a tid- haughty, And unless I please his nature, He'll secede and cause me trouble. So be thought no mire about It, But tv sacrifice Ms own rank. Live a private lire forever, And make Jot) the Prineo of Devils So he ordered servants round hint, Little devils not halt grown, Toll them to unscrew his lung tail, And to screw It on 3elT Dar If : Thus was JOT made prince of devils, Lord of all the lower realm. An Irish Jig and its-Results BY J. F. WALKER. LL. Ah my Kitty Net!. rhui up from tha wheel, Your neat little foot will be weary from spinning ; Come trip down with me to the sycamore boo, Half thu,patish is there, and the dance is beginning. The sun Is gone down, but the full harvest moon Shines sweetly and cool on the dew-whitened -alloy; While all the air rings with the soft, lacing things %Each little bird sings in the green-shaded alley." With a blush and ti smile, Kitty ruse up the while, nor eye In the glue, as she bound her hair, glancing; 'll . ls hard to rufuso whon a young lover sues. So she coultnit but choose to go otT to the dancing. And now to the green the triad groups are seen— Each garhearted lad with the lass of hie choosing; And Pet, without fail. leads out sweet Kitty Noll : Sornohow, when he ache I her, she ne'er thought of refusing. " Now Folk Magee puts his pipos to his knee, And, with Et iiolll,ol SD free, sets e!trh c mple it tno tion With a cheer and a bound, theca to ;utter the ground, The maids move around just like swans on the ocean : Chocks: bright as the rose, fret light as the doe's, Now coyly retiring, now boldly adva Search the world all around, from the sky to tle. ground, No - sueh sight can 1 , 0 found a- an Irish lass (lancing; Sweet Kate: who could view your bright eyes of deep blue Beaming humidly through their darlt Inaba], so mildly; Your Lairly-turned arm, heaving breast, and round form, Nor fool his heart warm. and pulses throb wildly! Poor Pat feels 11141:tart •as he gazes—depart, Subdued by the smart of such painful yet sweet love! The Fight Iti:kves his as he cries with a sigh, "Dance light, fur my heart it lies under your feet love I" allimilmno. From " Sjmru Hourg." by JOHN BROWN, M. D RA.B AND HIS FRIENDS. Four•and•thirty years ago, Bob Ainslie and 1 were coming up Infirmary Street from the Edinburgh High School, our heads to gether, and our arms intertwisied, as only lovers and boys know how, or why. When we got to the top of the street, and .turned north, we espied a crowd at the Tron :Church. " A dcg, fight !" shouted Bob, and was off; and so was I, both of us all but pray ing that it might not be over before we got up! And is not this boy mature ? and hu man nature too ? and don't we all wish a house on fire not to he out before we See it ? Dogs like fighting; old Isaac says they " de light•' in it, and for the best of all reasons; and boys are not cruel because they like to see the tight. They see three of the great cardinal virtues of dog or man- courage en durance, and skill—in intense action This is very different from a love of making dogs tight, and enjoying, and, aggravating, and making gain by their pluck. A bey—be ho ever so fond himself of fighting, if lie he a good boy, hates and despises all this, but ho would have run oil with Bob and me fast enough : it is a natural, and a not wicked in terest, that all boys and men have in in wit. nessing intense energy in action. Does any curious and finely-ignorant wom an wish to know how Bob's eye at a glance announced a dogfight to his_brain ? He did not, he could not see the dogs fighting; it. was a lash of an inference, a rapid induction.— 'The crowd round a couple of dogs fighting, is a crowd masculine mainly ; with an occasion• al. active, compassionate woman, fluttering wildly round the outside, and using her tonguf and her hands-freely =upon. - the then, as so many " brutes ;" it is a crowd annular, corn pact, and mobile; a crowd centripetnl, having its eyes and its heads all bent downwards and inwards, to one common focus. . Well, liob andtl are uP, - and find , it is not over : a small thoroughbred; white' bull-ter rier, is busy throttling .".a.' largo ' shepherd's dog, anaccUstomed to war, .bat 'At to be tri lled with: They are hard at It ; the geleiltifie . little fellow doing his work in great style. his pastoral enemy, fighting . Wildly,' but 'with the sharpest of teeth and a groat courage. Science and breeding. however, soon bad their own the_Game__Chicken,_ _as_the_.premature_Bob called-him,-tvoriting•his-way-upAook - his - final grip of poor Yarrow's throat,-Land ho lay gftWia , g and done for.' His•master, a brown, handsorie, big young shepherd from Tweeds rnuir, would have liked to have knocked down any man, would •• drink up . • Esil,. or .eat a creoodile," fotk that part if bad ,a .chance : it was no use-kidking the little dog ; that Would, "only make Mai hold the closer.. Many were the ineaua sheeted °title mouthfuls, of the best posSible ways of ending it, Water!'' but' there was norm near,.aed -many cried for it who might, have . got it. from the well 'at Blackfrittre Wynd. Bite tho ' tail 1" and a large, vague,, benevolent, middle-aged. man, more desirous than wise, With some struggle For the Harald VOL. 63. A. K. RHEERE, Editor & Propr got the bushy end of Yarrow's tail into his ample mouth, and bit it with all his might.— This was more than enough tor the muoh en during, much perspiring shepherd, who, with a gleam of joy over his broad visage, deliv ered a terrific facer upon our large, vague, bebevolent, middle aged friend,—who went down like a snot. Still the Chicken holds; death not far off. " Snuff ! a pinch of snuff!" observed a calm. highly dressed young buck, with an eye glass in his eye. " Snuff, indeed !" growled the anery crowd, affronted and glaring. " Snuff! a pinch of snuff!" again observes the buck but with more urgency ; whereon were pro duced several open boxes, and from a mull which may have been at Culloden, he took a pinch, knelt down, and presented it to the nose of the chicken. The laws of physiology and of snuff take their course; the Chicken sneezes, and Yarrow is free! The young pastoral giant .stalks off with larrow in his arms,—comforting him. But the Bull Terrier's blood is up, and his soul unsatisfied ; he grips the first dog he meets, and discovering she is not a dog, in Homeric phrase, he makes a brief sort of limeade, and is off. The boys, Bob and me at their head, are atter him: dowriNiddry Street he goes, bent on mischief; up the Cuwgete like an arrow—,,Bob and I, and our small men, panting behind, There, under the single arch of the South Bridge, is a huge mastiff, sauntering down the noddle of the causeway, as if with his hands in his pockets : he is old, gray, brin dled, as big as a little — Highland bull, and hits the- Shaksperian dewlaps shaking as he goes The Chicken makes straight at. him, and fastens on his throat. To our astonishment, the great creature does nothing but stand still, hold himself up, and roar—yes, roar; a long, serious, remonstrative roar. llow is this ? Bob and I are up to them.- He is muzzied Thu bathes had proclaimed a general muz zling, and his master, studying strength and economy mainly, had encompassed his huge jaws in a home made apparatus, constructed out of the leather of s itne ancient breechin.— Ills mouth was opeo as far as it could; his lips curled up tu rage—a sort of terrib e grin; his teeth gleaming ready, from out the dark. ness; the strap across mouth tense as a howsiring; the whole frame stiff with indig nation and surprise; his roar asking us all round, " you ever see the like of this ?" He looked a statue ot'anger and astonishment, dune in Aberdeen granite. We soon had /I crowd : the Chicken held on " A knife 1" cried Bob ; and a cobbler gave him his knife: you know the kind of -knife, worn away obliquely to.a point, and always It - cen. I put its edge to the tense leather ; it ran before. it ; and then one sudden jerk of that enormous head, a sort of dirty mist about his mouth, no noise,—and the bright and fierce little lellowds dropped, limp, and dead. A solemn pause this was inure than any of us had bargained for._ I turned the little fellow o‘er, and saw lint was quite dead; the inI.SI ill had taken him by the small of the back like a rat, an•.l broken it. H >r. C Ili looked down at his victim appeased, ashamed, and amazed ; snuffed him all over, stared at hint, and taking a sudden thought,, Limed routiaand•trOtted off. Bob took the dead dog up, and said, 4•John, we'll bury him alter tea." ‘• Yes," said I, and was off'after the mastiff. lie made up the Cowgate at a rapid swing; he had forgotten some engage ment Ile turned up toe Candle maker Row, and stopped at the Harrow Inn. There was a earner's cart ready to start, and a keen, thin, impatient, black a vised lit tle man, his hand at his gray horse's head, looking about angrily for something '' Rah, ye thief I" said be, aiming a kick at my great friend. who drew cringing up, and avoiding the heavy time with more agility than dignity, and watching his Master's eye, slunk dis mayed under the cart, —his ears down, and as Much as he had of tail 'down too. What a mau this in:ist be thought I—to whom my tremendous hero turns tail! The carrier saw the muzzle hanging, out and use less, limn his neck, and 1 eagerly told him the story, which Bub and I always thought, and still think, Homer, or King David, or Sir Walter alone were worthy to rehearse. The severe little man was mitigated, and conde scended to say, ktab, my man, puir Rah bie,"—whereupon the stump of a tail rose up, the ears were cocked, the oyes filled, and were comforted; the two friends were reeon llupp !" and a stroke of the whip were given to Jess; anti oil went the three. " Pub and I buried the Game Chicken that night (wo had not much of a tea) in the back green of his house in Melville Street, No. 17, with considera'ole gravity and silence ; and being at the time in the Iliad; and, like all buys, Trojans, we called him Hector of course. Six years have passed;.---a long time for a boy Mid a dog : Bob Ainslie is off to the wars; I am a medical student, and clerk at Miato House hospital. ltab I saw almost every week, on the Wednesday ; and we had much pleasant inti macy. I found the way to his heart by Ire quent scratching of ; hi . huge head, and an occasional bone. When I did not notice him ho would plant himself straight before me. anti stand wagging that bud of a tail,. and looking up, with ids head a little to the ono view } ails mas:er I occasionally saw ; he us di call mo Moister John," but was conic as any Spartan. One fine October afternoon, T was leaving the hospital, when I saw the large gate `open, and in walked Rat) with that great and easy saunter of his. lle looked as if taking:gen eral possession of the place ; like the Duke of Wellington entering a subdued city, satin ted with'victory and peace.. After him -came Jess, now white-from age, with her cart; and in it, a. woman,, carefully wrapped up,—the carrier leading the horse anxiously, and look ing habit,. When be'saw me, James (for bls mom was James Noble) made n curt-and gro• League " boo." and said, " Meister John, this is the mistress ; she's got a trouble in her breast—some kind o' an umonloyfe're think ,-By.,thia.time-1-saw-the-woma,n's face ;_ she was sitting on a sack filled with Niraw, her husband's plaid round her. and his big•ootit with its large white metal buttons, over' her toot.. , - - I never saw.a more unforgetable fam—palo serious,t delicate, sweet, without - being at all what we calltine.. She looked sixty, and had" on a clutch; aii snow, with its black ribbon ; her silvery, smooth hair setting off her dark'gray _oyes—eyes such as ono sees only4wice or thrift in a lifetime, full' of suf foripg, lull also of the overcoming of it : her eyebrOWS blaok and'delioe.te, and her, mouth flt is not easy giving tile look by Ono word; It was expressive other boing so much of her fife alone. - (11 mirk . A CARLISLE, PA., FRIDAY, APRIL 3, 1863. etor firm, patient, and contented, which few mouths ever are. As I have said, I never saw a more beauti ful countenance, or one more subdued to set tled quiet. " Allie," said James, "this is Meister John, the young doctor; Bob's freend, yo ken. We often speak about you, doctor." She smiled, and made a movement, but said nothing; and prepared to come down, putting her plaid aside and rising. Had Sol omon, in,all his glory, been hanag down the Queen of Sheba at his palace gate,_ ho could riot have done it more didtuily, more tenderly, more like a gentleman, than did James the Howgate carrier, when ho. lifted down Ailie his wife. The contrast of his small, swarthy, weather-beaten, keen. world ly face to hors---pale, subdued, and beautiful —was something wonderful. gab looked on concerned and puzzled, but ready for any thing that might turn up,—were it to stran gle the nurse, the porter, or even me. Ailie nod he seemed great friends. As I was sayin' she's got a kind &troub le in her breast, doctor ; wull ye telt' a look at it ?" We walked into the consulting-room, all four.; Rab grim and condo, willing to bo happy and confidential if cause could be shown, willing also to be the reverse, on the same terms. Ailie - sat down, undid her open gown and her lawn handkerchief round her neck, and without a word, showed me her right breast. I looked at and examined it care fully,—she and James watching ate, and Itab eying' all three. What could I say? there it was, that had once*cen so soft, so dhapely, se white, so gracious and bountiful, "full of 'all blessed conditions,"— bard-as a stone, a centre of horrid pain, making that pale face, with its gray, lucid reasonable eyes, and - ifs sweet resolved mouth, express the full meas ure of suffering overcome IVlty was that gentle, modest, sweet woman, clean and lov able, condemned by God to bear such a bur den ? I p.t her away to bed. " May Rab and me bide!" said Tames " You may ; and Rab, if, he will behave himself." " l'se warrant he's do that, doctor ;" and in slunk the faith till beast. I wish you could have seen him. There are no such dogs now. lle belonged to a lost tribe. As 1 have said. he was brio died and gray like Rubislaw granite; his hair short, hard, and close, lice a ; his body thick set, like a little bull—a s,,rt of oom pressed liercdles. of a dog Ile must have been ninety pounds' weight, at the least.; he had a laige blunt head ; his muzzle black as night, his mouth blacker than any night, a tooth or two—being all tie had—gleaming out of his jaws of darkness. Ma head was scarred with (he records of old wounds, a sort of series of fields of battle all over it ; one eye out, one ear cropped as close as was Arch hi. , hop Leighton's ; the remaining eye had the power of two ; and above it, and in constant commnoitiation with it. was a tat• tered rag of an ear, which was forever un• furling itself, like an old flag; and then that bud of a tail. about one inch long, if li could in any sense be said to be long, being as broad itS long—the mobility, the institute neousnesS - of that bud were very funny and surprising;. and its expressive twinklings and witakings_ the., intercommunications-- between the eye, the ear, and it, were of the oddest and swiftest. Bab hat the dignity and simplicity of great size ; and having fought his way all along am road to absolute supremacy, he was as mighty in his own line as Julius Cie sar or die Duke of Wellington, and had the gravity 1, of all great fighters. You must have often observed the like neSs of certain men to certain animals, and of certain dogs t men. Now, I never looked at Rob without thinking, of the great Bap tist preacher, Andrew Fuller.* The seine large heavy, menacing, combative, sombre, honest countenance, the same deep inevita ble eye, the same look,—as of thunder asleep, but ready,—neither a dog nor a man to be trifled with. Next day, my master, the surgeon, exam ined Allis. There was no doubt it must kill her, and soon. It could be removed— it might never return—it would give her speedy relief—she should have it done. She curt ised, looked at James and said, " When?" To-morrow," said the kind surgeon—a man of few words. She and James and I re tired. I noticed that he and she spoke lit tle, but seemed to anticipate everything in each other. The following day, at noon, the students came in, hurrying up the great stair. At the first landing-place, on a small well-known blackboard, was a bit of paper fastened by wafers, and many remains of old wafers beside it. On the paper were the words,—" An operation to-day. J. B. Clerk." Up ran the youths, eager to secure good places : in they crowded, full of interest and talk. What's the case ?" " Which side is it ?" Don't think them heartless ; they are neither better nor worse than you or I t ; they get over their professional horrors, and into their proper work—and in them pity—as an emotion, ending in itself or at best In tears and a long-draWn breath, lessens, while'pity as a motive, is quickened, and gains power and purpose. it is well for poor human na ture that is SQ. 'The operating theatre is crowded ; much talk and fun, and all the cordiality, and stir, lof youth. The surgeon with his stall of ati; sistants is there. In comes Ailie ; one look at, her quiets and abates the eager students. That'beautiful old woman is too much for them ; they sit down, and are dumb,' and gaze at her. These ,rough boys feel the . power Of her presone°. She Walks in quick- . ly, but without baste ; dressed in her napteh, • her neckerchief, her, white dimity short-go*n, her blaak,hombazine petticoat, showing her white worsted stockings and her carpet-shoes. Behind her was •Jantes with' Rah. James sat' down 'in.'tha.d.islece, and took that huge and - noble head bet Ween his knees. Rab perplexed__. anddaftgerousl-forever .eoeltingihis_ear_ j A highland game keeper, when asked why a certain terrier, of singular pluck, wan so much more solemn than the other, dOgs,:eatd, " Oh, Sir, life's full o' Bahl , oneness to hitn—liejust'u ever can got enutf re." - --*Fuller was, In - early - ilfe, when a farmer hid lit So. ham, &mime as a.boxer ; not quariels-nne, - but not without " the stern delight" a man of strength and courage fuels In their exercise, Dr.Uharles Stewart, of Dopoarn, whore rare gifts and graces ac a physician, a divine, a schelar, and a gentleman, live only In the memory of those P6l , lwho know and eurvivo him. liked to tell how Mr. Fuller used to say, that I,rhon ho was in 'tile pulpit, and saw a: butrilly man %Imo along' the passage, he would instinelvely draw himself up, meas ure hie imaginary' antagonist, and forecast how ho would deal with him, hie hands meanwhile condone. ing Into fists, lend tending to "square." Ho must have been a hard hitter It he boxed as 'be preached— what.'" The Fancy" weauldeall an•ugly customer." TERMS :--$1,50 in Advance, or $2 within the year. Arlin stepped up on a seat, an( laid her- self on the table, as her friend the surgeon told her; an anged herself, gave a rapid look at James, shut her eyes, rested herself on me, and took my hand. The operation was at once begun; it was necessarily slow ; and chloroform—one of God's best gifts to his suffering children—was then unknown. The surgeon did his _work. The pale face showed its pain, but was still and silent. Itab's soul wai , vorking within him ; he saw that something strange was going on,—blood flowing from his mistress, and she suffering; his ragged ear was up, and importunate; be growled and gave now and then a sharp impatient yelp ; he would have liked to have done something to that man. But James, had him-firm, and gave him a glower from time to time; and an intimation of a possi ble kick ;—all the better for James, it kept his eye and his mind off' It is, over: she is dressed, steps gently and decently down from the table, looks for James; then, turning to the surgeon and the students, she curisies,—and in a low, clear voice, begs th it pardon if she has be haved ill. The students—all of us—wept like children; the ,surgeon happed her up carefully,—and, resting on James and me, Attie went to her room, Rab followin g . We put her to bed. James took off his heavy shoes, crammed with tackets heel-ca t, and toe-rapt, and put them carefully under the table, saying, "Maister John, I'm for nane o' yer strange nurse bodies for Ailie. be her nurse, and I'll gang aboot on my stockin' soles as canny as pussy." And 8o he did; and handy and clever, and swift and tender as - any woman, was that bOrney handed, snell, peremptory little man. Every. thing she got he gave her : he seldom slept ; and often 1 saw his small shrswd eyes out of the darkness, fixed on her. As before, they spoke CONCLUSION NEXT WEEK. A Wier, REBUK.E. —The following anecdote is related of the late excellent Joseph John Uurney; of Earlham, by one of his family circle : ' One night, I remember it well, I received a severe lesson on the sin of evil speaking. Severe I thought it then, and my heart rose in childish anger against him- who gave it; hut I had not lived long enough in this world to know how much mischief a child's thought less talk may do, and. how often it happens that talkers run off the right line of truth. S did not stand very high in My esteem ; and I was about to speak further of her failings of temper. In a few moments my eye caught such a lork of calm and steady displeasure that I slopped short. There was no rnistak- , inc. 's the meaning of that dark, speaking eye. It brought the color to my' face, and confu_ Rion and'alime to my heart. I was silent for a few mot:fonts, when Joseph John Gurney asked very gravely : • Dost thou know anything good to tell us of her V I did not answer, and the question was more ' Think, is there nothing good thou ennst tell us of her ? 'Oh yos, 1 know some good things, but,' Would it not have been better, to relate those good things than to have told us that which lowers her in our esteem ? Since there is good to relate, would it not be kinder to be silent on the evil ? For charity rejoiceth not at iniquity.' THE GENTLEMAN,—it is no very uncommon thing in the World to Meat with men of Prot.ity ; there are likewise a great many men of Honor to be found, men of courage, men of sense, and men of letters are frequent but a true gentleman is what one seldorns sees lie is properly a compound of the various good qualities that embellish mankind. As the great poet animates nil the different parts of learning by the force of his genius, and it radiates all the compass of list Knowledge by the lustre and brightness of his imagination. So all the grett and solid perfections of life appear in the finished gentleman with a beau• tifut gloss and varnish ; every thing ho says or does is accompanied with a manner or rat h er a charm, that draws the admiration and good will of every beholder. "CLAs4 in the middle of geography, stand upl What's pyramid?" "A pile of men in a circus, one on top of the other." " Where's Egypt 7" " Where it always was." " Where's Wales?" "Ali over the sea." " Very well—stay there till I show you a species birch thatgrows all over the country." A WESTERN editor, who hasn't a wife to take care of him, wont the other night to a ladies' fair. he says that be saw there "an article" which he" fain would call his own," but it was not for sale. He declared that since that night he has been " wrapturously wretched. "As the article was bound in hdops, the reader is left to infer that it was either a girl or a keg of whiskey, Etir• A femnle Copperhead, of Muscatine, lowa, wife of the President of the Detnooratio Club iu that_eity, on the (mansion of tho (Mention of Washington's Birthday. walked up to the American flag floating in the streets, in the prosence,of a largo number of people, and spit upon It. The venom of this reptile in pettiootite diCittle or no injury to the flag.. u==2 , . - , 44r.. 'Pa, didn't you whip me for biting To al 1 1 " res . , my child, for you Jiurt'him *cry much." "'Weil, then, pa, you ought to whip tnama's music- teacher, for ho bit her yesterday in the mouth, and it hurt her, hp cause alio put her arms around his nook and tried to choke him." • SEND - four child to bed happy.- 1 1 -whatever-cares-preesr give -it a good - kiss - as it goes to its pillow. • The memory of this, iu the stormy years which fate may have to store for the little one, will be like Bethlehem's -star to the - bewiidered shepherds: PROFANB language is abominable. Loud laughing is impolite. liiituisitiveness is of fensive. Tattling is niean. Tolling lies is contemptible. Sla ndoring is devilish. Jg norance is disgraceful, and laziness is •sha ma Or A lady writes to be that 'she is anton ished• at our. denunciation of deserters. We aro aatouieiked at tier patoniabeueut. ~ercntiec, MARK THEM! DEDICATED TO CHARLES INOERSOLLAND OTHER COPPERHEADS. Brand them! On their foreheads brazen, Sink it deep! Let the traitor's shameful blazon Never sleep. Brand them, e'en ns Gatu wag branded, Through the world Let their scroll of shame he handed, Broad unfurled. Brand them in the public highways With your scorn, Bid the mark In private byways Still bo borne. From tho board, where true mon gather, Drive thorn out: Fill the feast with strangers, rather Than this rout. Trade with foe or sup with stranger, Pass these by, Who, amid their country's danger, Bid her die I Plotting treason foul, inhuman, 'Cialn.t their land, With such traitors let no true man Strike hie hand. Through the coming ienorations, Let their name Ily-word be, for execrations, Scorn and shame, . . Brand them deep, thOugh dlrest ruin On them fall, They who plot their land', undoing. - forfiyit all. 7."). No time this to prate or palter— Mark them well' Sink them, patriot, without falter, Deep as hell The Printer and the Dutchman. A journeyman printer lately set out on foot for the interior of Ohio, a distance of five hun dred miles, with an,,old brass rule, and three dollars cash in his pocket. Ile soon found himself in Pennsylvania, and being weary called at the inn of a Dutchman, whom he found smoking his pipe, when the following dialogue ensued : "Veil. Mishter Sthich, vat you want ?" "Refreshments and repose." "Supper and lodging, I reckon ?" •Yes sir supper and lodging." "Pe-you a Yankee pedler, tail chowolry on on your path to cheat te_girls!" "No sir, no Yankee pedler. ,, "Singing teacher, too lazy to work?" "No sir." "A ghenteel shoemaker, vot stchoy Saturday night, and laysh here drunk in de porch, after Sunday ?" "No sir, or I should have-mended my boots before this. But lam not disposed longer to submit to this outlandish inquisition. Can you give me L eintipefiridlodging ?" 'Tshortly. But vot be you! A book ancient taking honest people's money for a thaLonly—malzes--43 as-y--VL -- "Try again, your worship." "A dentist, breaking to people's chows at a dollar a sabring, and running off molt old Bock's daughter ?" "No sir, no tooth puller." "Kernolgous den, feeling to young folks' heads, like so many cabbiton, and charging twenty five cents for telling their fortunes, like a blamed Yankee ?" "No air, I am no phrenologist, either, your excellency." "Veil, deo, vet de tifle be you? Choost tell and you shall have some of the best ens s•ngers for supper, and schtey all night, free gratis mitout charging you a cent, mit a chill of whiskey to start on before breakfast,P "Very well, your honor, to terminate the colloquy without farther, circumlocution, I am an humble disciple of Faust—a professor of the art preservative of all arts-,a typographer at your service!" "Votsach dat "A printer, sir, a man that prints books and newspapers." "A man vot prints noospapers ! Oh ! yaw, yaw ! By choopiter ! aye, aye, dastoh it a man vet prints noospapers; yaw, yaw! Valk up, valk up, Mister Brinter! Cheems, take do chentleinap'E; back off; Chola,, bring some junks to do fire. A man vot prints noes paper! I wish may be shot if I didn't think you was a tailor'!" VIE FINANCIAL TEST . —GoId i 8 worth, in Richmond, four. hundred and 'twenty five per cent. It costs four dollars and a quarter in oatefderate money to buy one dollar in gold. The secessionists in the North who have been so eager to argue from the depreciation of United States ourrenoy, when gold was at seventy per cent premium, that the Federal Government was on its last legs, and sure to fail if the war was prolonged, would do well to ponder on the last financial news from the rebel capital. We do not , want a, more em• phatio confirmation of the justice of our cause and the stability of our Government thin we find in the depreciation of the currency with which the rebels hitve attempted to support their efforts against the Union. VS" Goiria.—A gentleman met another la the street, who was ill of a consumption, and accosted him thus : "Ah ! my friend, you walk slow," "Yes," replicii the man but I am going fast." - Na m What is the difference between a boy running. after a girl and a boy running after a carriage ? One abases the miss and the other tnisses the °bailie. - ' mg:4... I go through my work," se tho nto3le said to the idle boy. " But mot till you aro hard pushed," as tho idle boy amid to the nee• dle. . alr Why did William Tell shedder when ho idiot ilio applee - from his son's liiad? Be - 011USTit WKS att - arrow - osttigo to-r . , Ete.. ly aDE I a little to be dreaded when man tine a ehert time left to,be Miserable.— poverty; that! -- nr the mind is . the most deplorable. ' ' liar Overt , :!inn friends, like' hot potatoes, nro quickly dropped. /air , A'man's money seldom% grows more. that halfas fast as his love of it. . • A rt.e . 7,sert likes cold weatherat the proper 'e oeson.; bet no earieyfrest iu ftuteTo. , :goes against his ;4rafit," •,'• • A Afoo t respectable lady not a 'thousand miles away, had long noticed, to,her dismay that her ..vrorser half' Was growing foolishly suspicious and joalouirof her, She resolved to teach him a lemma. Some evening since. as he was leavings, she told him be need not hurry baok—she would not be lonely—she wiebed her ducky to en joy himself, etc. Benedict smelt a veritable mice under that hypocrisy, and resolved to be avenged. About eight o'clock, "an indiv idual," about his else, might have been seen creeping cautiously along to the door, and noiselessly Benedict peeped in. Just as be expected, .there they were—a pair of boots, a coat on the back of a chair, and a hat on the table. Benedict shivered like an aspen leaf, as he stopped, pulled off his boots, and drew a pistol from his coat pocket With "resolu tion flashing from his eye," he made tracks for the bedroom. There he was, kneeling at the bed side, coat and vest. off, and bead on the pil low. Miserable villian—his time bad come. NO. 13. "Say your prayers, Villian—your time short," and flash and a report told that the bullet bad sped on its fatal mission. "Help, murder, watch ! Oh, is that you?" and madam popped her little head up from the foot of the bed. Benedict seized the body, and B.) was a miscellaneous collection of old coais, vests, pillows, handkerchiefs, and the like, made up for the occasion. " I say, my dear what (lobs all this mean exclaimed the husband, with a blank sheepish look. Well, dear," replied the wife, "I did get lonely, after all, and just amused myself by dressing up that puppet, and winking believe you were at home. I'm sure, I didn't think you'd suspect." "There, there." said the chagrined hus band, "say no more about it; I thought it was a robber ; dear creature, I'm so glad it -didn't bit you." Benedict now repeated, _"Now I law me," etc., and went to bed, resolved not to watch any more at present. RorEstnertHOME.—Fortunate unspeakably fort imate—is the young man who bas a home that he loves, and dear ones nestling there to whom her heart goes out in immeasura ble yearnings of affection. The youth who has conic to the city to - seek - his fortune, is guarded as by an angel from Heaven, when he carries fresh in his memory the picture of an humble cottage home which shelters the dear ar.d venerated being who gave him birth. The thrill of her loving touch, as she laid tier hand upon his head in blessing, ere he turned his footsteps towards the great city, shall hold him ever in the Path of Life, and charm the Tempter away. And still more blessed is he if he has to devote a portion of wages to the support of that home, and of those dear ones whom he so loves. In such n case, his earnings are hi flowed with a sa credness which communicates itself to his character, and and is exhibited in blossoms of -noble duteousness. The consciousness that the wages of his toil gladden, and beauti fy, a. d make comfortable, the Ironic of his childhoood:and the authors of his being, gives a dignity to his labor, and a delight in its reward, such as no mere selfish spirit of acquisition can impart. Therefore, oyo young men, remember your paternal homes, and devote at least a portion of Foilr earnings to the making of them brighter and happier, that your own lire path may be brightened by the, ffulgenco which is ever radiate.' from good deeds. A PnYstetsN of Cincinnati, who had lost his morning's milk from the front area, recently put an emetic in the pitcher and the next morning discovered a policeman, a little dis tance from his house, making his "returns." BM. A lawyer wrote rascal in the hat of a brot-hee 4ow-yer v -who r - on-discovering- ici-en tered a complaint in open court against the trespasser who, he said, had not only taken his bat, but had written his own name in it. Why is a mouse like a load of hay 1 Be cause the cat'll eat it. The Monroe Teachers' Association met st School House No. 9 March 14th, 1863 at 10 o' clock A. M. House called to order by the President. Roll called, absent Miss Gleim and Mr. Plank. Minutes read and approved. Selections were read by Messrs. Biogaman and Eberly. On motion the subject of Com position was taken up and discussed by Messrs. Eberly, Bingaman 4 Goodyear. Titzel, J Good year, and D Stees, and Misses Gleim and Euok. Adjourned till 1 o'clock P. M. Afternoon Session : Mr. Cain naked wheth er teachers or directors had the power by law, to expel n pupil who willfully absents him self from school on examination day. A few of the directors and others gave their opinions on the subject, after which, the questions; "Do teachers receive a just renumeration for their services," was discussed by teachers, direol tors, and others. Tho committee appoin ted to draft resolutions being called upon, reported the follwoing, Preamble and Resolu tions, which were adopted: PluEnr.As, we as teachers of Monroe DM triot, have spent very profitable, as well as pleasant times in our District Associations therefore. Resolved ; That these Associations are of vital importance to every teacher in our country as well as state, in interchanging opinion, in building each other up In his labors of love, in enlivening and awakening each other to a true sense of dignity and importance of the teachers vocation, and in instructing teachers in their duty to each other, to the public at large, as well as to those immediately under their charge. Resolved : That no live teachers will over absent themselves from the Association, but will be so interested therein, as to plainly show to those around then), that they are teachers in every sense of the word. Resolved; That the thanks of this Assool elforinre duo, andare hereby tendered, to Board of Directors of this township .for their unfailing interest manifested is the suc cess of the teachers under their care, as well as in all things pertaining to - the advancement of the cause of education. Resolved: That we as teachers, deeply feel for our unhappy country in this her _hour of trial and tribulation, and that we aro willing to lay our lives, our fortunes, and our all up. on our country's altar for the suppretision of this unholy rebellion; that we never have. and never will recognize any other flag than the Star Spangled Banner. The I thanks of the &seal - talon- were—toe deted to Messrs. I). Stees, J. Goodyear, and 1. W. Leidigh for the part taken by them in in the exercises. A motion was mado to oghonerato all mna hers from flues incurred-4 them, durfug , the day for the non performance-of -duties, .which: after n long discussion, was agreed to:: 'The following resolution 'Was pissed."' . 4 . Resolved ; That, the th4pits of the Associa tiou are due and aro hereby ..tandered. , _to Nesers. J. Ventis4l6n," Q. Weller, Ci. diet. Gl. Beltzhoover, and alters preeelic fat their' hospitality, as .well as for.their !Mena &moo the.incetingat ; our. A,seoeiatiOD., Ad• journed sine die. ..'" .81 P."9oofirtAß; gobry, A Smart Woman edurationzal. Teachers' Institutes
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers