Carlisle herald., August 20, 1851, Image 1

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Ayirry,• proprietor.
glar6 l s. - - _
3
DU. .7L Xxxadvmr,
*PHYSIC lAN 'A ND S,,,URG EON—OSice—
a/din street, near the Puss Ojice. Dom.. IL
will givo his parlieular attention to Stvgical
ti1.;e35,53, and diseases of women and children.
He will alio give Ins attention every Saturday
morning, Mins oGTro , gratis, from 11 to 12
clock, to surgical easos among 'he pont.
January 22. 1851. ,
ton. a. c.,Loonars;
WILL pOrform all
operations upon the
Tooth that are requi":
red for theirpreservation, such as Sealing,yiling,
'lugging, &c, or will rectors the loss of them,
I,y inserimg Artitielnl.Teeth, from a single tooth
ton full suit. o"Offiee on rill street, a few
oora south of the Railroad Ifotel. Dr. L. is al ,
cut the last 1011(1,11 , 0 Ol'OVelo month.
r. xvlxt.LErt,
•
ONICEOPATIFIC PHYSICIAN SUR
AIRCZEOINI; AND A'CCOUCHEUR, having
succeeded Dr. Lip-pe; formerly practising pity
sicianW this, place, solicits the patronage of the
friends of his pre-decessor, cud shall be happy
to wait - upon all - who may favor hint witlia
nov 13. Int F. MILLER, M. D.
1101VZOMOPAM'ISIC
Practice of Medicine, Suriery and Olatetrica
' Drs. A. M. Ss. J. STAYMAN, respecqully .
announce to the citizens of Carlisle and vicinity
hat they have taken the office recently n.xu
pied by Dr. Smith, in Snodgrass'n Row, and
will be happy to attend to all who -may f tiler
them with. a ball in the various branches of
their profession. We are prepared to visit pa
tients in the country at any distance. Charges
moderate., •fap9tf
GEORGE Z. matraz,
--WlLL—perform - al
9P..Ti vira t v , operations upon the
, teeth -that may be re
required for their presentption: Artificial teeth
inserted, from n single tooth to mi entire -set, on
the most scientific principles. Diseases of the
mouth and.irregillarities carefully treated. Of
fice at the residence of his brother, on North,
Pitt-Street,-Garlislo.
di CAME).
R. J• W. MENDEL, Surgeon Dentist
X/
Informs hiiformer patrons that he has re
-urned-to-Carlisle; and - will be glad to — atteriti (0
all calls in the lino of his profession. (octal ,
DB.. S. B. lEZEBIFEB.,
( FYICE in. North Himoverstreet. adjoining
Mr. Wolf's atom Office hours, more par
from 7 to 9 o'elock,•A. M., and from
3 - M - 7 - o'clock, P.M.
%VIM_ Zia. PENROSE',
l'O RN EY 'AT LAW, Dill practice in
the several Courts of Cinnberlarid
0 FFIC E: iv:Min:Street ; - iirthe Totitit robber
y occupied byL: G. Brandebury; Eau.
C-EORGII
jIjUSTICE 'OF THE PEACE. .OE
FICE at his residence, corner 'of -Main• street
nod the Public Square. oppositd• Ilurkholder's
I lutel. in addition to the dimes of Jima, eel
tlm 'Peace, will attend to all kinds of writing,
such at deeds, bliicl3,l mortgages, indentures,
articles or agreement, notes, Sz.e.
'Carlisle, up 8'49.
- T - r -
Fresh Drugs, Medicines, &c•
~,,4
,have just received from. Philadel
--,_,,,...". phia and New York very extensive
Vu -.---- ' additions to Mit - Miner etoCk; eurbitt;
--." - cing swirly every article of Medicine
4, - . 1, ' now in use, together with Paints,
Oils, Varnishes, Turpentine, Perfumery, Soaps,
stationery, Fine- Cutlery, Fishing Tackle,—
Drithes of almost every description, with an
endlcsa variciy,lof oilier articles, which I am de
termine,' td sell at the vErt - r Lowtsi pricijs..
All Physician's, Country Merchants, Pedlars
n.id miters, are respectfully requested not to pass
the ULD STAND, as they may rest seas I (14
I N'at
_every artielc'Will be sold of a good quality
and upon reasonable terms,
S. ELLIOTT,
Main street. Carlisle.
May 30
Plainfield Classical Academy,
7 Four. MILES. WEST Or CARLISI.E. •
..1% G . MUM SCS3ioii Toill COMMCI I CC OU alOrl
DAY, 0.1.1.r5M. 1851.
r t rilllS Institution has been established near
ly tivayears, during which time such ad
ditions and improvements have been made as
fa render it one .of the most commo lions and
f eJllVolliellt its the State. -
In rexird, to healtltflAlness it may be men
tioned that no ease of serious sieltnesc has oc
curred in the institution since it was founded.—
Its moral purity is attested by the fact that
depraved associates, scenes of vice, aid resorts
hr dissipation have no existence in dm neigh
borhood.
The course of instruction comprises all ti c
branches required by thd merchaut,.profession
al or, collegian. Also. modern languages,
vocal dnd instrumental music, &.c.
It i:; the determination of the Proprietor (hat
the institution shall sustain the reputation it has
already acquired for imparting thorough in
struction, and inculcating and establish•ng.vir ,
loons principles in the minds of the youth sub
mitted to his charge.
ertna (per Sc.qcion Five Months) 50 00.
For catalog containing rele4cnees,
address ' R K BURNS,
'- Principal and Proprietor,
Plainfield P. 0., Cumberland •Countli,
April 5, 1851,
' •
ITALL ACADEMY.
• mite.: Weal of Ilopislirg, Pa.
Tilts' Institution will be open for the recep
tion ofendem a, on MONDAY, the sth of
May, xt. The course of Instruction will
m
ebrace 'the' vatious branches of a thorough
English Education, together with the Latin,
Greek, French and German Languages,' and
Vocal alto Instrumental Music.
. TERMS : •
. .
Boarding, Washing'`' and tuition
in the . English branches per ses•
sion C months) 050 00.
Latin or Greek 5 00
French or Gorman 5 00
Instrumental Music • 10 00
Fur further information address
• ` IL. DENLINGEft•
marchs,ly Principal, Ifarriehurg, Pa.
2:l3Cr • SPRING. Aciantivrsr.
Till* Institnam will happen for the reeer•
thin of. studenteom - MONDAY, , the hill of
May. All the branches oftereound.English and
Classitml EduCatinirwilliho taught,and studante
thoroughly qualified for entoring . any class in
College. or litted,lbr buitinOsiiiife."',r'llicre will
be two sessions a , yoni,.the:. (WO commencing
on the First Monday.triMayi and'Ato second
session on the first 'MontlaY: November, of
every year. 'Circulars furnitilied'on up
plicatioe in person'or by lettersitildresicitio the
subscriber at (timberland co.
1;114.1V. . . •
PanlYl J. ALLEN BROWN, Aset...
WEITXCE. •
TO; 'Corrueiasionere "of Cumberland. county_
doom. it proper to inform Ilia public, that then tl
ed manna of the Board of Commwaioners evil'
be hold on 'the sot:mid" and fourth Mondnyo of
each month, at which amts. any para.:ma having
businuaa with nab! Board, will meet ..thcm
ntlir r oilizO in Cadmic!: •
ttest,
RILEY.
'worn pitorkrailr
FOR- A •
Al.L'poroo.' co—ecim *proper
tp from lira without the aid of insurance . .
ermi 111 - nit:9. 5'141114 Ilac!O . t heir:more covd•ed
Parefil ,L;;elciliott,.Siate,- or • .1•Ir e .
MO. pr,if rooFwnti covered with,"
f this . ittiolii will ,last rtnitch;Zetiger illturi'tho",roo 7 -
, id4qrvlar it cutißoly„jrire. and
Wp .13 r qui; Ono, be 1 - !ad t 4 en p .
. the .1 la 11‘i.are i9torct:••or. . : •.
rkmrl9
- •
JOHN P. LYNE
21, c firtuitti it[ ji,ittritturt,, Elttrafinn, lgritititurt, 3itoitteoo {tail ettrtriii. ,nitirtantintt.
THERE ARE TWO THINGS, S.IITIi MAID EAEON,,WthEII MAHE A NATION (MEAT AND PROSPEROUS—A FERTILE;soiI, AND BUSY' WORKSHOPS,—TO WHICH LEI , ME ADD KNOWLEDGE AND FREEDOM—Bishop . hall
aarllere is a happy parody upon Willie's
poew of,"Bettef Moments,'
That fellow's voice ! hew often steals ,
It's cadence 'e'er my lonely days!
Like something sent on wagon : wheels,
Or Inteked irvan uucouscion§ chaise.
I might forget the words ho said,
t'llen all the children fret and cry,.
But when I get thMn off to bed,
His gentle tones comes stealing by—
Ind years of matrimony flee,
.l.nd lAive me . sitting on his knee.
Me times he came to court a spoil, k_
The tender things lie said to me,
Makes mo roinember mighty well
ildy hopes that he'd propose to me.
py rime is uglier, and perhaps
Time and the comb hove thinned my hair;
And.plain and common ere the caps
And dresses that I have to weir—
But•meinory is ever yet
With ull that fellow?s fiatries writ.
I have been out at rnilking-time,
Beneath a dull and rain) sky,
When in the barn 'twos time to feed,
And calves were bawling lustily—
When scattered hay, and sheaves of oats,
And yellow corn ears, sound and hard,
And all that Undies the cattle pass
With wild 6 fleetness through the yard—:
When all was hateful—then have 1,
Wish friends who had to help me
Talked of his wife Inset spitefully.
And how he kept Ler dressed in silk;
And alien tlio cattle, running there,
Threw oler me a Shower of mild,
- Thi. - fellvoi - Ce came on the air.
Like the light chewing of the cud--
And resting near some speckled cow, _
The spirit of a woman's spite,
I've poured a low and fervent vow,
To makg him, if I had the might, -
Live all his lifetime just as hard,
And~rilk Lis dews in such - a_yard.
I have been out to pick up wood,
When night was stealing from the dawn,
Before the fire was:bourning_good,
Or I had put the kettle on
The little stove—when babes were waking
With a low murmur in the beds,
And melody by fits was breaking
Abort their little yellow heads—
And this irlien I was up, - perhaps,,
,-From-a-few-sliort-and-troubledlnaps-
And when the . sun sprang scorchingly
And freely up, end made us stifle, --
And fell upon each hill and tree
The bullets from his subtle rifle—
I say a voice has thrilled me then,
Hard by that solemn pile of wood,
Or creeping from the silent glen,
Like something on the unfledged-Stood,
Ilath stricken me, and I have pressed
Close in my arms my load, of chips,
And pouring forth the hatefulest
Of words that ever passed my lips,
Have felt my woman's spirit rush
• Ole me, as on tleht milking mght, '
And, yielding to the blessed gush
Of my ungovernable spite, . --
Have riset up, the wed, the old, '
Scolding as hard as I cottld'scold.
:,2,1"r on the " Parlorlagane."
Tfirt.PFEAILOF BEING AN OLD MAID.
When I was a little girl, I 'was a fat, merry,
jolly, dumpling, as happy. as the day was long.
Every body pinched my rod Cheeks, limn wad
dled aheut with lay doll in my plump arms,
'finding fun in everything, and fully believing
that my dull wAS as sensible as myself; and
perhaps she was, alinesL. But, though I had
a natural antipathy to a spelling bock, and no
fondness fur spending a long semi:ll2es after
noon in poking a needle in and out of a bit of
calico ;
„though I considered patchwork all fool
ishness, and gussets as utter superfluities ;
though I was called a s . impleton for asking my
mother why she mit cloth up and then sewed
it together again ; still, I was fond of picking
up ideas after my own fashion. When the wise
people around Inc supposed I was thinking of
nothing lint play, my two little cars were open
to beery word spoken in my hearing. And
many was tho.word impressed ou my memory,
which the speaker forgot the next moment.—
The talk around me was lily real education, as
it is of all children, send them to what school'
you may.
When I was ten years old, I had 'one sister
aged, fifteen, and another seventeen; and, as
usual with girls of that age, they had u set of:
cronies, some very like and some quite unlike
them id character.„ Ono afternoon, as I was ,
tending my doll Ophelin, who was sick in bed,
I heard a brisk discdssion among those girls,
which, 1 may almost any, decided my.fato for
life. . -• •
The first words that. onus& my attention
came from an anituated, romantic girl of six
teen, scolding beemiso the heroine of a ;level.,
she bed just rend was left unmarried` at the end
of the story: What surprise was expressed at
thitt catastrophe; what indignation.
One of my sisters did not soom to sympa
thize with this Buret of disapprobation, and
then came the pithy question; 'Whatovisuld you
be willing To . die.-an old maid?' Mary said,
very quietly—' Yes ;' and sister Ellen added,
' So would I.'
Then such looks of amazement and incredu
lity ! You can't mean what you say,' cried
ono: If I did not know you too well to think
you a hypocrite—,' said anothei. Why, it
was meant that all women should be married!'
exclaimed a third. Then why aro they not
all married 1' asked Mary, with her neural sim
plicity.
l ager and hot grew the controversy, and I
. lost note word, while Ophelia lay flat on her
back, her still kid arms sticking out, and her
oroup quite forgotten. Thai first did I take
notice of that terrible combination of mono
syllables, Oldlsltdd.' In how Mani , different
tones of contempt, (Iron.), and depreen+n, did
I hear it 'uttered' by tboaeljuvenile
What anecdote( came forth ,about 1.14 enjsa
.dd Maids; and thigatty ehl maids, and! ugly,
i L nal dressy_, and learned, and pions, and! fllrt-:
mischief -hulking, old maids. Niver
did a bevy, of• , rngular fifty. year old apinters,
iittim so much scandal in one afternoon in.'s
'/FlOured forth" hi ; these -
blooming young area-,
turos.• 'Two' ;or : three ,frietlcls of my mo,'ther;
whom I cherinhed in my insineent:,
affections because they talkedrfe, Vrm
eouth 4
-mad were so kind to mo, noir opimare4 nen'
plitstvq.
WORSER MOMENTS
BliE r!'tlfEilfl I.
=2
CARLISLE, PA., WEEDNESDAY 9 A.utalfssr, 20. 1851.
r.personagcs. 'Miss Z. with so . ugly, she never
could Imre lind an offer;' 'Miss Y.dressed eo
shabbily, and wore green spectacles, to look
literary.' And Miss X. was for Inter talking
about Sunday School and society meetings,'
and so on.
You may be sure that the neat time. these
ladies came to our house, I scanned very close
ly the face of Miss Z.-11C face that I had al
ways loved before; but now I mw thntdt was
exceedingly plain. I looked hard at Miss Y's.
,drab-aolored bbnnet and shawl, perceived that
they were old-fashimled and ordinary, and that
her green spectacles looked pedantic. - Then
Miss X., whom I had always squeezed in upon
the sofa, encouraged by her-kindly smile, and
delighted- with-her conversation—how uninter
esting she had become-I They were ails:aids 1
It must be observed that ray Ph:tors—right,
good, sensible, domestic girl they were-had
no part this bewilderment of my yetpig
-ideas. They were in the minority; so I. took
it for granted they were in the wrong. Be.
sides, whal children are over as much influ
enced by what is uttered in the familiar voices
of their own family, tis by words of compara
tive strangers? Take care what you say at a
friend's house, with the young folks catching
up every random sentiment you drop. Many
a judicious mother's morninre%hortation has
been blown to the moon by some light dinner
guest, who did not, after all inean to give ids
real opinion, Or-whose opinion was not worth
having.
And now, Di - mare - yen,' my education went
- on rapidly. It is perfectly marvellous in how
rnna,ywayl4,_nudiby what diffaent.sorts.of pea : .
pie, a young girl is taught that it is a terrible
thing to be an old maid. Fools never show
their folly more than in their hackneyed jests
upon this topic ; but what shall wo say of the
wise folks, who:sinalmost as often in the same'
way-? What shall Ivr-say.ofTthe refinement of
him who is gentlemanly in thought and ex.--
pression on all subjects but this? of the hu
manity and chivalry of him who assails the
defenceless? of the justice of bins who tames
a class with the faults" of individuals, and
wounds with the meanest of weapons—a sneer?
or of the Christianity of:him who indirectly
censures and ridicules one of the arrangements
of - Prosvi - denCirt — .
' I learne'd my lesson thoroughly, for it came
to me iu some shape every week, , ; lead it iu
every novel and newspaper, and iteard from
everylift; The very men who spoke truth and
sense on the subject, sometimes neutralizingit
by.any idle jest in some momentof levity, and
the jest drove out the truth from my- young
heart. At eighteen, I lived only for the igno
ble purpose — l canuctt bear to say—of getting
married; but what could have beeti the ruling
wish of one wfto had been, taught by society
to dread celibacy worse than doe th?-1. - dare
say I betrayed, it everywhere. I . .dare say I
wee - duly laughed at.
At last, quttking on the verge of six-1111d
t wenty; I had iM'effer—a most absurd . one. I
was six years eider than my laver, had ten
times as imph qinse, probably, mme, , t on one
p9tt. I - yit'that ; he was "rather wild," _as
the gentle phrase goes. short, I neither
toyed nor respected him; but I was-willing to
marry him, because then 7 should bo Mrs.
Somebody, and should not be no old maid.
Idy. parents said "No," positively. Or
Course, I thought them unreasonable and cru
el, stud made myself very miserable. Still, it
was something to have "an oiler" of any kind,
and my lips were not hermetically sealed. I
had several confidants, who took care that ° all
my acquaintances should know the comfortable
fact that flatt..refusad Mr. S.
I went On - with increasing uneasiness for a
few years longer, not seeking how to be iisefu'
or trying to find out for what purpose I *as
made., Neither wail Elookitil-for acompanion ,
who could sympatlAzd with my better aspira
tions and elev . aie my - whole character, for I had
no right views of marriage. 'I was simply ga
zing about in angliiiii 7 suspense, upon every
unmarried man of my acquaintance, for one
who would lift me out of that dismal Valley of '
Humiliation ie which I'felt myself deseending.
Had I met Appliyon himself there, with the
question on his lips ' believe 'I should have
said "Yes."
At thirty-six, I wore more pia ribands than
ever, was seen everywhere that a — respectable
woman could go, wondered why girls went in
to company so young,•foundlth it I was grow-
ing sharp faced and sharp spoken, arid was be
coming old-maidish in the worst Sense 'of the
word, because I was becoming an old maid a
gainst my...will. I forgot that voluntary celi
bacy never affects the temper.- '
Sly sisters, be it remembered, were older
him I. They, too, wore single. But they had
lived more domestic lives than I, had road few
er works of fiction, had been cultivating their
own natures, and seeking to mako every body
around them happy. And every body rever.
enced them, and loved to look upon their open
pleasant countenance—l mean every body
wortlipleasing=and they `voce Very happy.
At last.our good poi:ents diod, rind loft each
of us a little independence. Witkinti yoar'l
was muried.
I was married for my monoy. ' That wee ten
yearn ago, Mid tifey havo . been tan years of
purgatory.
I have hod bad luck as a wife,' for, my.
band Mid I have.seareely one taste in Comboon.
lle vvishes to live in'the country, which I
I like the thermometer at 76 degrees, 'Which
ho hated. Ile likes to have tho children bro't
pp nt home instead of school, , which I hate.--
I like music, andwantio go to concerts, which
he hates. There lo one thing which we both
like,•and that is whht We cannot both hart,
though we are always trying for it—tho last
word.
I have had bad luck as a mother; for two
such huge, passionate, unmanageable boys ne
ver tormented a feeble Woman sines boys be
gan. I wish I had called them bot!i Cain. At
this moment they have just quarreled over
their marbles. Mortimer has torn off, Orville's
oollav•and Orville lttftippliekbis'o . olt-11lielmel
J , i) . lllortlizierrei.riim; white baby ; :Zettobia;
In'my lap; wh'o'never=sioops waste than half
en hour nt'a'tinieVand Orinn
aivelto,babeen reused 'din to sorenni,
in chorus.' ' • ---- "' -
I have had bad luck as a housatabpor,'for
n - aver kept' , oven. a . nbainbarmaid more than
throe wanks, :And rig I look . bank
la3Wildora4,npon thin liSfig ,
faces flitting stormily throughrmy kitahon; as
a mariner remembers a .rapid . supeessien of
thunderbolts and hurricanes in .'the Oulph of
Mexico. My new chambermaid, bounced out
of the room yesterday, flirting her duster, and
muttering, "Real Old maid, after alit" just
because I showed her a table on which I could
write.' slut' with my huger, in the dust.
I never see my plump,
_happy sisters, and
then &nob in the mirror at my own cadaver
cons, long, doleful vissage,. witfictitt \wishing
myself an old maid. A. do it every4day of my.
life.' - .
• Yet half of my sex marry as I ditl: l -:uotfor
love, but (earl—for fear of dying old maids.
They have their reward; .and they whose IL
die tongues create this mischievoWs fear, and
thus make - so much demestic-miseyi, have
their responsibility. .
PRIDE. AND VANITY.
Few•pronil :meet nye ever seen—vain men
every day. ,IVanity in our community is,
tires=
mistaken for pride. A - fain man :ires-,
sea and acts to please others, a proud man
acts to plunk himself. A vain noon Would not,
be seen carrying licrno his market basket, a
proud man would curry it if ho chose. Vani
ty ruins thotisands, pride saves thousands.
Vanity makes the young Miss tuiltamed to be
seen crigageo in household affairs,.• but the
proud girl—those glorious girls irhi make ,
the heart leap with joy anti give the minis°
.of a womanhood , ,brighter than Eve's, and
meteor. than a• field of - iicity era,' Will perform
whatever her:hearttells her is ri ht, and con-
stituto
,her the glory and happiiies's Of her
home, It is vanity which makes thousands a,'
shamed to labor—aslitimied to be seen in hop
esteffort--and misleads tb folly if not crime.'
Prid'e of chaiacter—self reSpeCt—should be
tkeespecial_object ltivatiun._Tboao-n'c--
ing from vanity in reference to the opinionior
imagined opiniois of others, have no rule of
life which will protect them from the tempta
tions Of . trifles - which lead so Many to ruin. A
prOud person was never seen in the criminal
box for unman crime. We are :supported in
this conclusion by one ' whose experience. has
been vast. • A true American should be proud
4p,oleart-the-street-or-Perfornr-aity—other-serz
,iice.. There'are thousands who would euga,
in service if 'they Ilionght no body knewxrif.--;
But this monstrous' thing- . callod
.variitl if. pred
tefitif their engogenuiiit. in honest tied c Tea
pursuits, and continually leads to shame and
ruin. Persons from vanity oftentimes dross
beyond their means. Every one should be
proud enough to live and act according to their
means, and thus prove that they were of
God's nobility, and 'dared to El.; What their
heart and judgment approved. T•me pride is
a growing quality—it enables u . itzto• perform
every duty, diatrto,l'oly upon'Our approval to
the act.' A vain-young man would not
dare' to assist some pOverty stcieken woman
who should fall down in the street; a proud
young 1141i - would at once obey the proinptings
of hit heart, amitt:low a true manhood. It ie
often said a man is so proud he wont walk the
streets without gloves-z-o, proud man would do
it, but a vain man might not. Pride is glori
oubffinnity-contemptible. --Tho'Aineribans,Us—
a general thing,, mistake vanity: far pride, and
call a vain turn a proud man. This is a fatal
error, , and one that_ we would correct if we
could. Let all AniaiicanS, we say be proud
men and women, but is for this, thing of vani
ty, out upon it--it is more'offensive : to us thou
the' villauous compound of smells which As
stied the olfactories of poor Falston In the ,
Butchery.
Let our mechanics and, laboring men be
proud enough to foci dint hoofeatPursuit is the
glory of man, and be proud enough to reeflot
iii their conduct and feelings the image of that
immortality stamped upon them-by-- Deity.=
Pride makeirsovereigns—a sovereign people—
vanity courting sycophants and eventually
slaves. The hopes of our republic rest up
on the pride of the people.—CincitUlati Coin.
AN ADVENTURE.
On-Sunday al ternoon,- during the severest of
the Shower, as we leisurely strolled along Court
street; metlitating upon the advantages of fre
quent July shoWars to young ducks and hay
makers, our eye suddenly foil upon a form of
magnificent proportions just in front of *us,
standing beneath a canvass awning for protec
tion from the rain. We involuntarily stopped.
Before us stood a young and doubtless lovely
female. Her muslin frock was 'of snowy
whiteness, over'which was thrown with nu - air
of genteel eleganer, a blaok silk visite. Upon'
her head -shulwore linre bridal bat encircled by
a wreath oe'orargo blossoms In her white
gloved hand she held a parasol of the newest
style-4 7 and upon a foot of - Cinderella pat4rit;
gracefully fitted a white satin slipper. What,
thought wo, 11 , 11 be the lops of onoof Aborn'a
bout, or this six dollar umbrepti in comparison
with one smile of gralitudo Pout so fair a crea
ture; Then, too, we. may, rear her silvery
voice, 7lnnsical as Ululate, muttering In accents
le* hti.t - tender,
_Olikul:l‘tha yfi r a.! Our de
termination- wad fixed. • :ye. ad resolved, and
if it bidrobied Park street' nd State noun
iMpolni tumbled toisther, o . .purpose could
mit litive . boon ohongod.':.TV h. our proudest
itop4ird Odnmeed., "My do Mies, will you
do sObiituide on individual s - the nnheppy, ,
I) . o'lM:in° who is now tiddretiqg the fairest of
mortalif, a fairer of HO markedoonsideration as
to opeopt from hislmnd this unbrella.' ' With
her heel firmly planted, upon i!
etahlenly turned. Wo onughil
face—black us the nee of spa, I
1
coptibly slid, whistling the nix
Charleaton."—: : :4ldifen Bee.'
.!
LOsr"La, Incr' sighed
"horeJ hard ho . en:anfferlit', l
death for threo. Mortal *AI
seized with a Ideedind ' phren
hamsfdre of the"brako;'l9l!P3)
a stoppage, of the lort, yeatrl
Thbrgave me an indiMa2o
and now m slok wtt4,t
Thorn's no blassin'like , ;ttet .
Wetly: when - you're 4ek.7--
ooropokritoi''Out, Ne
Editor'i obit:a:try,
110 4'
Payroo, unlaoliarad , QIId
ONE' PAY AND A lIALF IN 'THE LIFE OF
• " There's.nitught exceeds
That filth that fronLa chewer's mouth proceeds,
Two ounces chewed a day, 'tis said, produce
A full half pint of yile tobacco juice, .
Which, if 'counted five-and-twonty,years—
As from calculation it appears , — '
With this foul stuff would, near nine hogsheads
fill,
Besides old quids,.a larger parcel still.
Nor.atn I with this calculation one
Ito in that time chews half a ton,
A-wugon-load - of fiat which would, of course
Sicken a dog, pr even kill a horse ;
Could lie foresee, at but:a single vioxv,
What hp was destined in his life to chew,
And then the produot of his work survey,
Ho would grow sick, and throw his quid away;
Or, could the lasS, efe sho.had pledged, to be
His loving wife, her future p . rospects see;
Could she but see that through his month tfould
pass, -
In his short life this dirty, loathsome mass,
Would she consent to take his hand for life,
And, wedded - to his filth, became, his wife?
And if she would, say, where's the pretty miss
_Would envy lier, the lipk she has to kiss?"
Mr. Editor:—Do you chew tobacco? I did,
till last Sunday, when I put my veto on the
The whyand wherefore I have sent
IL, hoping that if you are guilty of using
the Indian weed, a leaf from my diary may be
the means of reforming you;
Saturday; 0ct.,19, 1811—Took my hat !or
a walk; wife, as wives are apt to, began to
load me with messages upon seeing me ready,
to io out; -asked me to call at cousin M--'S,
and borrow for her The Soriows of Wertcr.'
Ilate to have a wife read such namby-Paiiih r y
_stuff,but.mnaor_her_w_hims,_antL_concluded.
that I had rather she should take pleasure o
ver Werter's sorrow, than employ - her - tongue
in making sorrow' for your humble servant.
Got to• cousin M—'s door. --Now cousin
111— is an old quad,. and a dreadful tidy wo
man. Like tidy women well enough, but can't
bear your dreadfill tidy ones, bectiuse I am al
ways in dread, while on their premises, lest I
shodld offend their super-superlative neatness
by a bit of gravel on the Bol . e ) ,l7iifiny - boot, or,
such matter.
Walked in, delivered my message, and seat
ed myself in ono of her cane-bottom chairs,
while she rummaged the book case. • Forgot to
take out my cayendish before I entered, an.
hile she hunted, felt the tide . -rlsing. Np
sktsbox in the room. • Windows closed. Fluor
carpeted.- Stove - Tail - tithed. 'Looked to the
tire-place--full of flowers, and hearth' newly
dubbed with Spanish brown. Hero was a fix.
Felt the flood of essence of eavendish accumu
lating. Began, to reason witli myself whether,
as a last alternative,dt were better to drown
the flowers, re-daub the hearth, or flood the
carpet. Mouth, in the meantime, pretty well
filled. To add to icy misery, Ole began to ask -
Auestionp.,
rifiLf
youovor Mr.
Yoe, ;trident,' said I, in n voice like a frog
from the4Mttom of a well, while I wished
book, aunt and all, were, with Pharoah's host
in the Ited-Sea.
How did you like it ?' continued the inde
fatigable quartet.
I threw
. my head on tho book of the chair,
and mouth upwards,. to prevent an overflow.
'Pretty well,' said I.
She_ at - last found the Sorrows of Werter,'
and <Mum towards me.
0, dear, cousin Oliver, don't put your head
on the back of the chair, now don't, you'll
grease it, and tithe off the gilding.' -
I could not answer her, having now lost the
power of speech entirely, and myscheeks Were
distended like those of .a toad under a mush
roon.
Why, Oliver,' said my persevering tormen
tor, unconscious of the reason of my appear
ance: 'you are sick, I know you, are, your
face is dreadfully, swelled!' and before I could
prevent her, her hartshorn was clapped to my
distended nostrils.
As My meuth was closed importurbably, the
orifices in my nasal organ were at that time my
only breathing places. Judge, then, what a
commotion a full snuff of hartshorn created a-
'rang niy olfactoriesl I bolted for the door,
and a hearty ache-he-heel relieved my pro
boscis, and tobacco, chyle, Ste., all at once
disgorged' from my mouth, restored me the
faculty of speech.? Her eyes followed me
astonishment, Wild I'Veturried and relieved my
embarrassment by putting a load on my con
science. I told her I had been trying to re
lieve the toothaehe by the temporary use of
tobacco, while truth to tell I never had an .
aching fang in my head.. I went home Miirti
hod.
Sunday afternoon—Friend A. invited myself
l -and wife to take a seat with him ko hear the
celebrated preach. Condi''dad by,
neighbor A. to his pow. Mouth, as usual; full
of tobacco; and, horror of horrors, found the
pew elegantly carpeted, white and green ; two
or three mahogany crickets, and a hat stand,
but no spit-box! The servico commenced ;
every peal on the organ was answered by an
internal appeal from my mouth for a liberation
from its °outdate ; but the thing was impossi
ble._ thoughk of using my hat for a spit-box;,
then of -turning-Quo of the °rickets- over; but
I could do nothing unperceived; I took out in •
handkeishief, but found, in the plentltude 'of
her olholousness, that my wife had put ono of
her white eambrics in my pocket, instead bf.
my bandanna. Here.wis a dilemma. By the
lime the preaohor had 'named his text, my
cheeks bad reached their utmost tension, and
I must spit or diol I arose; seized my hat,
and randy* the door. My Wife (confound
thee.) women, how they dog one about,) imag
fined me unwell, (she might havo known bet
ter,) got up and followod me.
' , Are you unwell, Oliver?' said she, as the
docir closed after us..
0 sidewalk, sho
'glimpse' of her
4 01 Wo iinper
-I"Wo're ofF for
I Tuni.ered her by putting out tho oyes of an
tati3Oky dog, with a flood ofoxpressed.essenoe
of oavondish, •
irra: Par!,llioon,
liq,*big l ttnis of
s',' ' Ftist" r .61i6
?s in tho- lori
PP,P,x°4Bded by
to. of tlia' . heart:
jn, ! , tip , pprer,
rpforpi Florbus.
l I t . "' '' •
i „ .CA.t r Par4°-:1
!II Niel,' said sho,;. , Mr. A: had. .a spit-box
pi his pew.'
• So do '
,No footed it . home in moody. ellonoe. I was
sorry my 'wife had 2h3at the sermon, bixt, Lose
could T. help it? These:sroneoli . arfi 6o Woo.
tionato 7 oonfoutidthete- T rio, I don't mewl so,
But she ilighthayplitkoym yhat 01194 nit o ;and
hOit . lier eget. • . „ , ,
I ..Tobaoool tobacco I But the floods Of,
iliat 'day, are not all: told .Yet. ATtor the 004-
.
olusieh a the sorvldee, along came old Partner
ietting _up the
i'd„alne I
hung.
.„.
iloogholiaro. Ho litid icon meg° outotohurch
'A TOBACCO .CIIEWEft:
and stopped at the open window, Whore I was
' Sick to-day, Mr, 7'
_
' Railer uowell,!.answered I, and there was
another lie to place to the ac of tobac
co.
We had n powerful preaching, Mr. --
powerful pronching; sorry you had to go out.'
My wife asked him in—and in he coma—she
might have known he would—but Women must
be so polite. But she was the sufferOr by it.—
Compliments over, I gavii him ray chair at the
open window. Down he.sat, and fumbling his
pockets drew forth a furmidabkplug,of tobac
co, and commenced untwisting
Then you use tobacco?' said I.
A leelle occasionally,' said he, as ho depos
ited from thrco to four inches in his cheek.—
' A neat fence—that .of yours,' as flood after
flood from his mouth boepattered a newly
piinted white fence near the window.
Yes,' , said I, ' but I like a darker color.'
So do I,' answered Ploughshare, and yel
ler suits my notion; it don't show dirt;' and
he moistened my carpet with his favorite color.
Good,thought wife will ask him in again,l
guess. We wore now summoned to dinner;
Farmer Ploughshare seated himself. I saw,
histig fingers in that particular position
wheelta tobacco-chewOr knows how to put his
digits when about to wade. lle drew them
across his mouth; I treezt+led for the—benie
quences, should he throw such a load upon the
hearth orthe floor. But he had no intention
thue.to yuiste_hisquid, and shocking to relate,
deposited it beside his plate on my wife's
thin i k — o - !
• This Was too much. I plead sickness and
' rose. There was no lie in the assertion now,
I was sick. I retired from the table; but my
departure did not discompose Farmer Plough
share,_who was _unconscious of having done
wrong. I returned in season to see Farmer
Ploughshare replace his quid in
. his mouth, to
undergo a second mastication ; and the church
bell opportunely ringing, called him away be
fore he could use his plate for a spit-box.; for '
such I-am persuaded would have - been his next
motion. I went up stairs, and throwing my
self on the bod, fell asleep. Dreams of inun
-clationsi-floods-and-fire — harassed me. I Ural
was burning, and smoked like a cigar. -I
then thought the Merrimack had burst its
_banks,and-wasabout-to-,overffew me with . . -its
waters. I could not escape—the water had
reached my chin—l tasted it—it was like to
ibacco juice. I coughed and screamed, arid a- ,
waking found I had been asleep with a quid in
my mouth. My wife Loitering at the moment,
I till:qv away the filthy weed. hue, if I were
you, 1 would not use that stuff any morel' j
won't,' said I. Since Sunday I have. kept my ;
Word. Neither fig, nor twist, pigtail nor env
endisir, have rasst.l my lips slnoo, uu, emu:
they again. Poz.
DOMESTIC HAPPINESS.
"I shall bring home a new book tb rbad to
you this evening, dear 'Mary," said Edward
Hervey to his young wife, ono afternoon at the
tea table; ‘i we are fairly sottled now, and
can begin to enjoy
,our.homei'l
"Anil you will spend your evenings at
home now; won't you ?" inquired Mrs. , llervey,
with animation.
4, Oh, yes T. I must be gone for an hour or
GO after tea, sometimes; but the long winter
evenings I shall spend at home. lime I—how
sweet that word sounds. It is a long, long
time since Lharo had a home;" and.'new Her
vey's emotion preventedius completing the
sentence. Thoughts of his long years - of or
phanage, his struggles with the world, and
his heart loneliness, contrasted with the pre
sent fruition of all his fond day dreams,
°bolted his utterance—the crystal tear drop
bcditurned his eye—and, rising abruptly, he
loft the room.
The object'of - his choice, the gentle Mary,
was a woman of warm affections, and not ono
of the varying shades of thought which passed
quickly but eloquently, over her 'husband's
countenance, had escaped her notice ; and her
heart swelled with the thought that she was
thus permitted to _bless him whom she loved
most devotedly. She knew she was well.in
structed in those domestic' duties which are
indispensable to home happines : she looked
around on her little domain with the 'satis
faction and pride of an empress.
An hour later, and the; shaded lamp, the
easy cimir.ind slippers, 'the brightly blazing
I fire, tho work basket, and the smiling wife,
presented, to the returning 1:110:find, the fa&
simile of his ideal of a domestic Eden:
"Now for the book," said Hervey, when
fairly 'ensconsed amohg the cushions of his
luxurious chair; and - he proceeded to remove
the wrapper from an elegantly bound volume.
" What have you there 1" said his wife, at
tracted by the beautiful appear:Moo of the
book. "Let me look at it for a moment.'=z—
'Cowper's Poems.' Well, ills very handsome
ly bound ;" and, after carelessly turning .over
the leaves a moment, she returned it to her
husband..
--qifcrvey took"tho book with an undefinable
fooling of disappointment—a half conviction
that ho ought to apologizo for ho know not
Ant.
"I am :anxious to possess the works of all
the standard poets," he at length said, "and
thought we, would read them together this
winter ; and it seemed to Me / Cowper's 'Task'
would be au appropriate beginning. I believe
you like poetry—do you not?" .
"Oh, yes! very muoh," was the reply; "but
why don't you begin to read?"
Hervey commenced reading, and for a time,
his wife seemed 'interested; and her apprecia
ting gitunie,:ne she comMented ion the Poet's
fancies, banished all feelings 'of disappoint,.
meta. But an hour passed, and Diary became '
More absent' minded, and so, deeply absorbed
in her Work,. that . she, hoard' net, the reading; '
and, when her husband's cominents reused her,
a 'half vaeant qeolf, and ,n "ital . uttered` re.
Sponse, plalialy:told,' thirt::her thoughts wore •
pleowhoro. At length:llo „paused. ' • • •
fWhat would'yOu breald'ast,
ward 4"• ..
Aft that question destroyed ivory
vestige pf one soeue in his panorama -of
niernied mans existence • -
holt' ,f(r,st thought.; hut
Livia
VOLUME Li. N Cb. • 5
reach too long ; I have 'wearied her; and 'twat;
her very' love for - me - that prompted that-t;:',',-
ti9n."
A few more attempts on succeeding evenings
and the standard poets were read in silence,
and ivithoutdsOmtnent. 11lary had discovered
that she did not like - batty.- --- --- - --
Time. passed on. Mrs. Hervey was a pat-.
tern housekeeper, a good wife, and an excel%
1 1
ant mother, so far no all things relating to
Aysical,well being wore concerned. The home
pf the Hcirrey's . was a quiet, well ordered
!souse; but the 'husband and wife were not
mppy. They never quarrelled, but there was
w congeniality of feeling. Mrs. Hervey was
s good housekeeper, and nothing else. •
• Did her husband spend an evening ut - .llolner
ife was entertained with the details of domes
lie manageMent and domestic Areubles ; and,
I,f a more onnoblinetople of conversation was
ntroduced, Mrs.' Hervey was too busy, or"too ,
Imuolt fatigued to listen.
' Gradually, Edward Hervey withdrevi' from
home •to spend his 'hour's alone in his office,— •
With too Much principle to fall into vice, he
ibeoeme a stern, cold man, 'burying his warm
affections so.deep in his own bosom, thatmone
'would dream Judge Hervey could ever love.—
And he believed woman mentally inferior to man. .
._ It took years to effect this • Change; it took;
years to convince the fond husband that, for
his sake, and for, the sake - of" her children, his
wife would not spend her leisure hours in devel
oping, disciplining, and strengthening her'
mind; that she .would not. seek- a. higher. ulna.
in life than - the daily answer to the question
-"Whs. shall
lat el we eat? what, shall we drink?
and Where withal•shall we be clothed?"
_.
13ut she was bound to her idols. To be mis
tress of a well-ordered house, to keep her chil
dren neatly clothed, and to prepare excellent
dinners for her and friends was to her
the sine qua non of existence. Yet, in the hap
py possesSion of these things,. eho was unhap
.py. She knew nothing of that progress the
world - wasmaking, beyond .the - gossip of the
-day, or the ohance'remark-of-her-husband, or
his guests; nor did she care to know. Sho
well knew the uncongeniality of thought which
existed between herself and 'her husband ; but
she-would_make_no effort_ta_lesscar_that dis
tance. She considered herself the aggrieved
party, and looked upon that man who would
not_relinquish_books and intellectual improve,
ments, for the society of his wife andohildren,
as a most selfish specimen of humanity.
And tkus are 'thousands lividg now; out
wardly all is calm, rind they are called happy;.
but there is no soul "commtinionLthere is no
interchange of beautiful thoughts, and high,
Crinohling sentiments. The torch of love burns
more-and more dimly, and imperceptibly, mu
tual confidence is being - withdrawn, and when,
come the survivor :frill
scarce mourn the departed. •
Quo hour—nay, oven half an'hour—otiolt,.
day, devoted to self improvement, with,wo
man's tiativo intuition, and love's gentle teach
ings, would have made Mary Hervey a conge
nial though loss advanced intellectual compati
ion—would have so united husband and wife,-
that each would havo vied with :the other in
self - sacrifices; - and---tho-hour-of-dissoltion
would have found the hymenial torch burning
with a purer, brighter flame than on. the day
of their. espousals.—Peninsular Fountain. -
A COOL OPERATION.-41Ial1Oo t • there„ Cap
tiug I said a brother Jonathan to a captain of
a canal packet on the Erie Canal, 'What do
you charge for passage?'
'Three cents per mile, and boarded,' said
the captain.
'Wall, I guess I'll take passage, captain,
seein as how I am kinder out walkia so far.'
Aco,ordiugly ho got on board . juat as' the
steward was ringing the bell for dinner.
Jonathan sat down and began to demolish
the "kains"' to the utter c'onsternation'of the
captain,,until he had
,cleared the tabfeof f ali
that was eatable, when he gotup and went on
deck, picking his teeth very comfortable.
'How far is it, capting, from here to where
I came aboard?'
'Nearly one and a half miles,' said the cap.
'Let's see,' said Jonathan, 'that . would be
just four and a half cents; but never mind,
capting, I won't be small; here's five cents„ ,
'whibli pays my-fare up to hero I 'guess • gO
ashore now; I'm kinder rested out.'
The captain vamosod for the cabin, aud Jon.
athan went 'ashore. The captain did' not take
any more waypassMigors the remainder of the
• -
Summer.
A CALL UP BUT NOT DOWN.-A certain di
vine about to change 'his congregation. men
tions# the subject from the"pulpit. After ser
vice was over, an old negro man who VlTill one
of hia,admirers, went up to him and desired to
know the motives of his leaving hie first flock-
The parson answered. I have a call.'
Ah, moesa, returned the negro, 'who calV,
od you ?'
The Lord,' answered the parson.
Ay, massa, he call ye V -
' Yos, Jaolc, he called me.'
Massa, what you get here V
I get six. hundred dollars.'
And what you get to'der place
am to get one thousand dollars.'
Ayo, thatlßß, flu; Lord call You fill he be
blind from , ono thousand dollars to six hundred
—you no go.'
zts„,‘ , Bridgat, you must wash your 'Lauds
before you mould that bread." •
• " Suro ma'am I don't think , its beet to be
wasting timo on that at but barely
throo wooks since the daY,I own to ye,an' didn't
I waoh 'mu% ohne an' nioe that, yory day; an'
indacle, wid-hire I•done 4 Onotithat Limo that's
nasty. yid 'cm?" • . • •
nia_Willin earl levA.Women e ror
What wo do know' of them, and A grpat deal
Moro for vilvit ri do not."' , '
"Flltt'Atien la A #treidAtini,
in whieh re eeidona anktwiYo foi;tl/Meat'7°-
// 01' ?..jr : gblue, ll o l o o ',4iiiiptroSlrart .,
itigton, ns ' tAto-boi!inzer' ihit'sub`l".
otir
"Hero it'goos %agnini,r,dji9lool4:4ol6i.4:olo,2.
iik9
ME