VOL* xxxiv Sacrifice Sale Continued Our stock still too large Must be reduced. We will therefore continue to sell all goods advertised in last week s circulars at the 4 day sale prices with the excep tion of Clark's 0. N. T. thread; it will sell at 4c per spool or 45c per dozen We have reduced some line Zephyr Ginghams and Dimities, Organdies to <i O 7 O lower price than prevailed last week. These goods must be sold We are determined not to put away a single yard of Summer wash goods A cool lawn dress at 4c per yard, others finer. 10 per cent, off' on all Standard paper patterns sold during July MRS. J. E ZIMMERMAN. This store will close at 6 o'clock every evening, except Saturday, from July ist to September ist, and on Monday, July sth, at 12 o'clock, noon. ARE YOU IN NEED OF LOTHING? IF SO, CALL ON T. H. BURTON, 120 SOUTH MAIN ST., BUTLER, PA. P™ I fi. F. KECK, *| MERCHANT TAILOR. Wbcn we make yon a garment—or a suit a/i" —>' ou ma y be sure that every st'tch in it is perfectly made. Our especial pride is in tlie quality of our tailoring, we pay liigh wages and employ'first-class tailors, so we get the highest grade of garments and you • know our prices are lower than others, jj/fc and wc keep the largest stock of goods to o» select from. Call and examine for your- self, FITS GUARANTEED, remember the G F KECK Merchant Tailor, " " 142 N. MAIN ST.. BUTLER, PA. i. S. YOUNG, Tailor, Goods. Summer heat makes the problem of lookingfdressy a hard one. ' Bat we've solved it; and for once economy, comfort and fashion go hand in haud Our summer suits are finer in fabric, nobbier in pattern and more stylish in cut lum ever before, they fit your curves and yet they're not sweat bath outfits. The prices may surprise you. J. S. YOUNG, Tailor. ioi S. MAIN St., - - - BUTLER, PA The Wise Grocer. Will try to induce his customers to buy the very best gro ceries in the market, because by so doing he makes a sale that will give satisfaction, and it is the pleased and satis fied customer who builds up the grocer's business. We have some of the very best goods obtainable which we sell as close as any house in the county. Leave us your order and we guarantee satisfaction. •| The Butler Produce Co., C L MOORE, Prop'r J3O W. Jefferson St., Butler, Pa. IF YOU GET IT AT THE BUTLER PRODUCE T'S FRESH. YOU ARE WAITING For your prescription don't fall to look over our line of perfumes, we have re- /If ceived some very fine ones lately, and //-J !' will be pleased to have vou examine \ 1 0?O **"• ' We also have a very la.ge assortment *- of tooth brushes made expressly for us A n » / VT^ wb" h bear our stamp, these brushes y we guarantee and request the return of prove unsatisfactory. - ■ rJSJhtb^m- Vou may need something for yoi}r _ .—_ __ • *1; i ■ ——• chapped hands and face, and if so we • '/) yj recommend Cydoninni Cream as a fine '/ toilet preparation. REDICK & GROHM ANN DRUGGISTS. PEOPLES PHONE. 114. BUTLER PA THE BUTLER CITIZEN. Liver Ills i Like biliousness, dyspepsia. headache, Co,, ti- I f-ation, sour stomach, indigestion are promptly ; cured by Hood's I'ills. They do Uieir work Hood's | eaiiiy and Best after dinner pills. 111 (2 D 5 cents. All druggists. ■ ■■ ■ Prepared hy C. I. Hood & Co.. Lowell, Mass. 1 The onl»~ PUI to take with Hood's Sarsapar'lla. 1 This I» Your Opportunity. On receipt of t;-:i cents, cash or stamps, a generous .. r.j- ■' will be mailed of the most popular .-rh and Hay lever Cure (Ely's Cream 1 ti i sufficient to demon strate the gri.v i: --ita of the remedy. ELI BKOT3IEES, s>i \Yu.rr. u St , New York City. Iter. John P.eid. Jr., of Great Falls,Mout., recommended Ely's Cream Balm to me. I can emphasize ) • -'atement, "It is a posi tive cure for catarrh if used as directed." — Rev. Francis W. Poole, Pastor Central Pres. Church, Helena, Mont. Ely's Cream Ba!m is the acknowledged cure for catarrh and contains no mercury nor ally injurious drug. Price, 50 cents. RAILROAD TIME TABLES P. li. & 1,. K. H. It. Schedule of Passenger Trains in effect Ma} - 30, 1897. Butler time Trains leave Butler as follows: Con neaut Lake Express 7:25 a. m., Erie Mail 9:55 a. in. and Greenville Accom modation 5:05 p, m. Trains arrive as follows: Conneaut Lake Express 9:55 p. in., Erie Mail 2:50 p. m. and Green ville Accommodation 9:20 a. in. .SUNDAY TRAINS. Conneant Lake Express leaves at 7:25 a. ni. and at 9:55 p. ni. Train leaving at 7:25 makes connec tion with Erie Ry. at Shenango. west; train leaving at 9:55 makes connection with N. Y. &P. at Mercer and with Erie at Shenango, east; train leaving at 5:05 makes connection with N. Y. & P. at Mercer, north and south. A. B. CROUCH, Ticket Agent. PLTTSBUKG & WESTERN *- Railway. Schedule of Pas senger Trains in effect May 16, 1897. BUTLER TIME. Depart. I Arrive. Allegheny Accommodation <» 'i"> A.M !> 17 A.m Allegheny "Flyer" 815 " 9 IJ2 " Ne* < 'mrtle Acconirmxiation 1 1 V> p..v !♦ 17 " Akron Mail 8 15 A m 7 i-.M Allegheny AccomnuxUtion 10 05 " 12 18 4 * Allegheny Expre** 305 p.M 4 55 " Allegheny "Flyer" 3 05 " Chicago Kxprew 3 40 " 12 18 44 Allegheny Mail 540 44 8 o<> 44 Alleghmv "Flyer" i 7 MCI 44 Ell wood Accommodation 5 44 7 44 Chicago Limited 540 44 017 A.M Kaix- und Hnult'onl Mail !» 32 A.M 5 90 P.M Clarion Acconimodutioit. 3 15 P.M if 55 A.M Foxburg Accommodation 710 44 805 44 .SUNDAY TRAINS. Allegheny Express 8 15 A.M !> 32 44 Allegheny Accommodation r > 4o P.M 4 55 P.M New Cast It* Accommodation 8 15 A.M 7 03 44 Chicago Kxprww... 340 P.M 4 55 44 Allegheny Accommodation 7 W) 44 Train* going north al 9:32 a. m. and 3:15 p. ni. make close connection at Ftixbnrg for i*>int* on Allegheny Valley Uy. For through tickets t<» all ]M>int* in tin- west, north west or outhuint apply to A. li. CROUCH. Agent, R. 15. REYNOU'S. Sup t, Butler, Pa. Foxburg, I*u. C. W. BASSKTT. A. (J. !». A.. Allegheny, Pa. PENNSYLVANIA WFSTEN CENNSYLV'AMA DIVISION. . is I t r MAY 17,1897. SOI Til. WEEK DAYS . -i. A.M. A.M. !'. M.J. M HI'TLKU Le.,v« _• S II 15. 2 - , '..in: Vrtj;- ♦. i 825 11 38 3 52H Hu.ler .hiitrti »u.. " 7 j7 8 4X 12 02 3 25 5 53 Butle> .: ».«« .i m, ... •• ■ 7 .;•» 848 12 17| 3 2-". 5 5.3 N'atrotm .Ariiv . W 8 5G| 12 2."» 3 35 I. '>2 I Tarciitum 7 42 9 02 12 ii" 3 4"! «l r~ | SpriugilaJ.- :.i> 9 11 jl2 41 i .1 52 Clarenniut 9 25 1 4 "ii fti 27 j Sha»iMhu»g ?< mi 931 1 09 I 12 C, .52 i Allegheny l' 7 9 4::. 123 1 ii 13 A M.iA.MJP. M. P. M P. M SUNDAY TRAINS.—I. ve Buthrf.i All..:htii> [ CitT and priu i)<ul intcrnu aate stati <u> at 7.■ i-~» a. m., and 5:00 p. m. NORTH. . WEEK DAYS A. M A.M. A. M P. M. P. M Alb'gheny City leave 7 ««» 9 mill 2'» 2 ■*>•« «'» 1*» Sh«n-hurg 7 11 9 12 11 37 3 05 ... Clareniout 9 19 11 45 i 3 13 Spriugilalc | 9 30 11 59 3 3o «ii 37 Tarentuni 7 34j 939 12 (•>; 343 4*. Natrona 7 \'X- 9 43 12 1 ; 3 51 ii 51 Butler June.ion.. arrive 7 4»'.j 9 5o 12 4 05 7 0.» Butler Junction leave' 7 4«l 950 12 25j 4 10; 7 Saxoubiirg 8 10;10 15.12 49! 4 3«). 7 24 BUTLER arrive 8 :U1 10 38 1 17» 5 OT>; 7 50 A M. A.M. P. M.|P. M.IP. M. SUNDAY TRAINS —Leave Allegheny City for But ler and piinciiNtl intermediate stations at 7:25 a. in. and 9:30 p. in. WKEK DAYS. FOR THE EAST WEEK DAYS. IV M. A.M.} I». M. P. M. 235 i> 25; Iv BUTLER ar 1 17 3 25 7 27 ar Butler Junction Iv .... 12 2.*> 3 3<» 7 4«» lv Butler Junction ar 8 'in 12 <>B 3 35 7 49 ar Fiveport lv 8 28 12 00 339 7 53, 44 Allegheny Junction 44 82412 01 351 8 i>4. * 4 Leecnburg 44 8 09'11 49 409 821 44 Paulton (Apollo) 44 753 11 32 435 8 ")lj 44 Salti«burg 4k 73011 09 5 0C» 922 44 Blairsville 44 700 lo 4<» 515 9 •• Blairsville Intersection... 44 52010 15 850 11 :J5 " Altoomi 4 - .*... H <MI 100 3 1(1 44 Harrisburg 4 * .... 310 4 30 « 23 44 Philadelphia 44 : .... 11 2o P. M P. M. 'A. M P. M On Sunday, train leaving Butler 7:35 a. in., connects tor Harrisburg, Altoona and Pliila«lelphia. Through trains for the east leaue Pittsburg (Union Station), as follows: Atlantic Express, daily 3:30 A.M Pennsylvania Limited 44 7:15 44 Day Express, •• 7:30 44 Main Line Express, 44 8:00 44 Philadelphia Express, 44 4:: JO p.M Eastern Express. 44 7:<Y> 44 Fast Line. 44 ............. . . u Philad'a Mall, Sun*liiys only 8:40 A.M For detailed Information, address Thos. E. Watt, Pass. Agt. Western District, Corner I'ifth Avenue and Smith field Str»-«'t. Pittsburg, Pa. J. B. HUTCHISON, j. R. WOOD, General Manager Gen'l Passr. Agent. The Place to GAS;COOK ING AND H HATING STOVES, GAS BURNERS AND FIX TURES, HOSE, BATH TUBS, ENAMEL AND IMPROVED WELSHBACH m P U h ?? r f|, VIH O'BRIEN iON 107 East Jefferson St. BEE KEEPER S SUPPLIES SUCH AS Illves, Smokers. llrood Frames, Sections, Section Box«*s. Brood and Surplus Founda tions. Tho lx 4 st goods at tbc lowest possible prices. James B. Murphy, Mercer St., West End, Butler, Pa. Near Kamerer'a Grocery Store. BUTLER PA., THURSDAY, AUGUST H>. A DELAYED LETTER. Lydia Spencer had never seen it so hot or dreary at Canaan Corners before. Tho blistering July day was drawing to a close. She was postmistress and store clerk at the Corners. Day after day for years sho hud sorted over the stage mails, tho county papers and the letters. Tho day had been a busy one In tbo store, and to add to the confusion Lydia bad recently bought a new set of boxi*s to take the place of tho Cingy little portholes which for 25 years bad done continuous service under differ ent postmasters. A carpenter had worked that afternoon tearing away the old case and generally overhauling the postollice end of the store. Lydia was between 40 and 60. "Nigh | on to 45, bein two year older'n my boy 1 Jerry," old Mrs. Davidgo said to her friends when Lydia's age was discussed. "But, law! she don't look it, an she don't act it. Them tow Leaded girls never look ez old ez they really le. Tho carpenter eto;; td hammering and ' come to where the | uL ress was fan ; ning herself, lie v.a- shuttling awkward ly half a C. Zen leltus, ytilow with Hge ; and somewhat r;.t eaten. "See he re, I.ytUJy. ..re ilnse any good?" asked he, holding out tho letters. "I found ! 'cm down 1 I:!ncl the wainscoting. I s'pi.se they're Uist tr-. h what got brushed | aside an no account whatever." The pdstmistr* ; of Canaan Corners i took the lett. rs with L«:t little show of in terest. People wiro always running to her with trillcs and asking her unneces sary questions. Twenty five ymr*! Yes. it l ad been just that long since she had seen John Buttor worth —since ho gave her a lover's look and then, cheerily assuring her that they would soon meet ag'.ln, bad gone to New York. Their letters had been earnest and full of feeling, and finally he wrote asking licr if she would marry him. telling her that he had not been successful in business as ■yet, but that if she said "Yes" he wonld come back to Canaan Corners, and thoy would go to Chicago. Bravely had she penned a favorable an swer, and then she waited. Ah, the dying of a great hope! How tenaciously it clings to life! How anxiously she awaited tidings from John Butterworth! But none came. The sum mers came and went. Twenty-flvo years ago, and sho had been thinking of John Butterworth that day! "Looks cz if rats had chawed 'em some, don't it?" asked tho carpenter as Lydia stepped closer to,the window to iDspect tha musty letters. Tho very first one of the lot gave her senses a shock—John Butter worth, Bull's Head Hotel, Bowery, N. Y. City." Tho ml sun turned black. The Canaan Corners postofflce began spinning around and bobbing up and down. A hurricane seemed to catch hor and dash her head against a distant cllit "There, there, Miss Lyddy," said the big carpenter, fanning her with his straw hat. "The hoat's been too much fur yo, I guess." Trembling liko a child, sho once moro looked at tho letter —her own letter of ac ceptance—plighting her troth for better or for worse, through evil and good report. It seemed to ber as if her heart would burst in agony. Sho knew now why John Butterworth had never como back. She had appeared to him as unwilling to share his fortunes. Lydia Spencer was a firm woman. In justice to herself she determined to make an effort to reach John Butterworth with the belated letter. It had no postmark. Taking the mark er, she removed tbo figures "U4" and sub stituted "09." Then, writing a note to the proprietor of tho Bull's Ileud hotel, New York city, sho told him to forward the letter to Chi ! cago. Nervously she let it fall into the gaping mouth of the mallbag. Tho stago took it on Its way that night. Two weeks later a gray haired man, one of Chicago's leading cnpltnlists, Was ono morning opening his mail. He came to a yellowed envelope which had been for warded from New York. It boro several rubber stamp marks, and a Chicago post oflico clerk had writton on it: "Try Stfl Dearborn." "Send Jack in," said John Butterworth to his head clerk. ".Taik, my boy," said tho father in a low voice uud nervously, "read this old letter which has been 25 years in reaching me. "Jack," continued tho elder after his request had been complied with, "you will have to postpone your vacation. I'm go ing to tako ono at Cauaan Corners, N. Y. I never expected to marry again after your dour mother's death, my boy, but if tho writer of that letter Is alive and willing you'll havo a new mother insido of two weeks." The Canuan Corners stage one evening a fow days later oarried a gray haired straLgor. "Ye'll find Lyddy at the postofflce," said the driver. "She's postmistress, an every ono knows Lyddy." Everything was still in the postofflce when John Butterworth entered. Look ing through tho glass case, he saw a gold en haired woman, her face oloso to the ta bletop. She was resting her averted face on her fortwirm and sobbing like a child. "Lydia," said John Butterworth as he took ber in hlsurmsand raised her, "Lydlo, sweetheart, I didn't get the letter till three days ago in Chicago. I'm so old and gtay now I suppose you're sorry I got it at all, eh?" Sho looked up quickly, smiling through her tears. Her blushing, radiant faoe didn't look as if she was sorry.—Exchange. No Respocter of Persona. When Admiral do Horsey at Port Royal was ono night returning to his flagship alcne, his way to the boat led across tho barrack square. A black sentry of ono of tho West India regiments halted him at the gate with, "Who goes dar?" Great was the admiral's annoyance to find ho had neglected to get the password. "That's all right," he said carelessly, hoping to overcome the man's scruples by indiffer ence. "You know who I am." "Dunno know nobody, sar," replied tho nigger pompously. " You oan't go in dar." "Why, I'm Admiral de Horsey!" "Well, you oan't go in," was the reply. "I don't care if you's Admiral do Donkey, I don't."— Household Words. A Famous Soug Rewritten. Edmund S. Holbrook of Chicago has re written "Tho Star Spangled Banner," in order, as he says, to correot the many de fects which he finds in the original. Key's version, ho thinks, "is burdened with too much reference to a locality and the affairs of a day in midhlstory," and ho has rem edied all this by "extending tho spirit of tho poom over a wider field and limiting It to matters of generul importance which Will obtain for all time."—Exchange. THE COCKADE. "Mon Diou, Mme. Manchabelle, why did you wear such a long face in t-fae palace of the doges? Did Tamagno's acting affect you so seriously? "It is true, the Republican candidate won in tho Eighth arrondissement, but how could that possibly interest you?" "How, M. Pompon? You ask Jiow it could possibly interest mo, who hiF/o lived on terms of intimacy with princes and tarons, who cherish the tender recollec tions that, tho Emperor Napoleon 111 pinched my chin when I was playing 'Gl selal' I would havo given my most valued mementos to have elected tho Conserva tive, nnd if ho WM not it is the fault of my daughter, Juiifth, and her in fernal cockado!" "The import of your words is somewhat nebulous, worthy lady. Tell mo tho story of the infernal cockado." "Well, last year Judith, put out at not being able to find her carriage at the con clusion of the racos, wrote to M. Leptne, tbo p?ef<ot of the police, for one of those green tickets, called 'cut the lines,' which allow carriages to take up their position near the grand stand. M. Lepine sent no answer." " You must excuse him, Mme. Mancha belle. He is very busy." "But coming homo she had an idea." "Ah sho had an iduatl Really!" "Sho had noticed that at the 11 o'clock mass at St. Philippe du Roule a certain carriage took precedence of all others and stood wherever it pleased, simply beta use the coachman wuro a trieolored cockade iu his hat. Upon inquiry she learned it was the coupe of tho wife of the Mme. Felix Faure. 'Goodness! This is easy !' said Judith to herself. I will dee orate my coachman, Baptiste, with a tri eolored cockade.' " "It was a flash of genius!" "Wo sent Baptiste's hat to tho presi dent's batter in the Faubourg St. Honore. and it came back with a superb trieolored cockade on it at the price of t> francs." "A mere trifle!" "It proved a cheap investment from the very first. We went wherever we wanted. People were always taking ofT their hats to us. I graciously bowed back In return. lam accustomed to It. I was born so close to a throne that I was just as much at my ease as though I was sitting in my armchair in tho Hue de Provence. Tho police, the soldiers —everybody—luado way for us, and Judith's coupe stopped even before the gate at tho races, which is pro hibited to everybody else. Unfortunately there is always jealousy to be reckoned with. Little Chignon, the third cory | phee, who came in a cab, said one day: | "'I would liko to know why that old j thing can go where we can't!' " 'Why,' said tho policeman, 'that ii the wifo of the minister of public works with her daughter.' " 'The devil it is! It is old woman Manchabelle of the opera and her oSspring. I know her well. We live in the samo house.' "I don't know what theguardian of tho peace responded, but some days later Ju dith was sent for by the coiunilssalro of police of tho Rue d'Astorg, who told ber she would have to suppress the trieolored cockade or suffer administrative penalty." "Did Judith yield?" "Yield, M. Ponifon! You do not know us. We have a combative temperament! I said to my daughter, 'Go and see the cel ebrated advocate of the court of appeals, Ca'sar Mnrius, and he will adviso you what to do.' Then Judith put on a blue serge gown, tho body trimmed with gui pure; for a hat, a t( ;ue trimmed with t lark laco and two gray feathers, a quite fashionable costume, matching well with the coupe and Baptiste's cockade. In a short time she was in the Hue Part alls a the distinguished lawyer's. She entered his private cilice and laid bare"— "This is tecoming interesting." "She laid baro the facts, M Pompon. Maitre Ciesar Murlus, very much amused at the recital, consulted tho code, tho po lice ordinances and tho old revolutionary decrees, then said: "Mademoiselle, thero exists in Paris a custom according to which, up to tho present, the trieolored cockade has been reserved for the chief of the state minis ters, marshals of France and a few high administrative officials, but in truth it is only a custom. The trieolored cockade is the national cockade, and there is no good reason why it should not be worn by all Frenchmen. However, I will look into the matter further. Come to seo me again —often, very often. We will talk about your cockade." "And did Judith go often to seo Maitre Cesar Marius?" "To be sure. She was obliged to follow his advice, was she not? During these periods of consultation, sometimes quite protracted, the coupe remained In front of the distinguished advocate's door, exciting the curiosity of the street loungers, per suaded that a moment later they were go ing to seo the minister of foreign affairs or the president himself, but their disappoint ment was not so great when thoy saw Judith come out, and they generally greet ed the Conservative play actress with looks of approval. "On the day before the election all the | walls were covered with this red poster: I'Warning! Citizens, you aro deceived! Maitre Cesar Marius, who covets the herit age of the honorable M. Riant and who wants to re-»6tablish himself with tho Conservative party, has sold out to t>ll ■ government. It is notorious that for tho last month he has been receiving minis terial visits, and the minister is shameless enough to leave his carriage stand in front of the candidate's door. Let him deny it if he can?' "Frankly, Maitre Marius could not say to tho voters: 'lt was not the minister who came to seo me. It was the little Mancha belle.' He is too gallant a man for that. Consequently thero was a division among the Conservatives, the votes were scattered and wasted, and the Republican candidate was olected. That Is the reason why I have tears in my eyes, M. Pompon. Oh, these politics!"—Cinoinnati Post. Why He Hesitated. Why does this man stand upon the pave ment trembling with terror, afraid to enter his own home? Listen and I will tell you: This afternoon at 8 o'clock he received a letter from his bunk, asking him to step reund and pay a note that was due. He scribbled the following answer upon a slip of paper: "Can't possibly do it. Got to meet an other little thing this afternoon that won't be put off." About the same time a messenger boy brought him a note from his wife, asking him to meet her at his office at 4 to go with her to the dentist's. Of course he got tho answers mixed, and he is wondering whether he had better at tempt an explanation or set out for Aus tralia.—Strand Magazine. A SEEIOUS JOKE. Frank Quinton was a practical chair maker. Receiving a visit from a couple of old friends, he took thom to the theater, and tho next morning went to his store, which was so full of stock that thero was but little office spaco left in his sales rooms. A small desk, a couple of chairs and a small, neat lounge, comprised its furniture. On tho morning after their visit to the theater Frank, without stopping in the nffice, passed hastily into the workrooms to see that his hands wore all employed, and in distributing his orders he was dotained probably an hour or more. In tho mean time Mrs. Quinton, their residence being near, having noticed, of course, his late unusual frivolity and being disturbed In feeling by his late return tho night before, and now his delay to return to his break fast, concluded to play the amiable escort to her liege lord to his morning repast. When Frank therefore returned from tho workshop, ho encounter® I his young wifo with slight surprise awaiting him in bis cozy little office. Seated in one of the chairs, sho looked dubiously, with no little feminine sternness, toward the lounge and then up ot Frank, as he stood trying to smile pleasantly in the doorway. These first pangs of jealousy were too much for the before unsuspicious nature of the happy little wife, and the fawnlike, loving creature, unable longer to maintain the stern front she had hastily assumed, her feelings now gavo way and sho cried: "Oh, Frank! I did not think this of you I" "What, Minnie" What has happened?" he inquired, puzzled by her appearance and words, not yet having seen the cause. Again her feelings surged into another channel, and, dashing her tears aside, she rose to her feot. and, pointing to a num ber of pieces of comb scattered round and over tho lounge, said: "Oh, Frank, how can you assume such an air of inno cence, and, standing there, ask mo what has happened? Yon have had—oh, false one, this is too much, and this, soo hero— evidence still more, Frank, of your per fidy! See, what is this?" tho wronged ono exclaimed as she seized from the floor, near tho head of tho lounge, a largo roll of hair, nicely arranged and netted, ready to adorn tho well formed caput of any hand some young lady. "That?" said Frank slowly, for the first time attempting a reply. "Well, really, my dear, that seems to lie an article of feminine headgear—an article, Minnie, Minnie, with which you are better ac quainted than I—a chignon, or that other arrangement of beautiful design for female adornment—l cannot now think of tho name.'' "Frank Quinton, this is too much—to play me false and then inafco light of it! This human hair, these broken -ombs. that lounge and the confusion of things in this office all speak too loudly, sir, of tho base manner In which you passed last night away from home." "Indeed, Mii;ni», as you say, ibis is too lunch. I began to fei I that you almost or quite believe that a fact which your man ner and mood this morning seem to indi cate. Last night I was at tho theater. Must I I ring and Wt ndell to prove my whereabouts'- No, Minnie. Vou would not havo mo do that 1 " "Your first business on hand today, Mr. Quinton, is to clear up, if at all possible, these appearances that sjeak so clearly against you, or my course shall be for di vorce." , "Weil, there, Minnie, that caps the cli max! Come, let us to breakfast. I'm deuced hungry. But broken 'combs,' lounge and 'hair' are enough—ugh—to take from u man all appetite. save, perhaps, to quarrel, and thai, you know, Minnie, I will not do, but I snail do my best, Min nie, to clear It up to you in that light." Breakfast partaken of in silence, but not without some pain experiencd by each, Frank resolved on tho course now to be taken. Poor Minnie, unable to finish her morning meal, again broke down and left the table weeping. On returning to the office Frank's first course was to gather up the broken frag ments of combs scattered there and lay theiu out carefully on his desk. Each piece fits its fellow, and together, complete, form just one dozen small hairpins or combs, as he bad suspected. Yes, it was a triek, but tho joker had overshot tho mark. The trick was overdone—too xnany combs for tho reasonable care of only ono femi nine head. Besides, tho package or wrap per from which they wero taken was found. It was therefore with no little gladness that the generous and honest Frank Quinton hastened to eharo his j transport with his weeping wife. But long and labored was tho argument, : even with all the direct evidence he could produce, which he was compelled to present to the doubting wife, so deep were the insidious inroads of the jealous pangs suddenly aroused by these singular ly combined appearances in her husband's office. How true is it, as the bard lias said, "Trifles light as air are to the jeal ! ous confirmation strong as proofs of holy writ!" Indeed it was several weeks ere the earlier confidence of the trusting Min nie was fully restored in tho breast of the unhappy wife. The young man who practiced tho joke without tho least intention of injury came forward at length and cleared up the mat ter to the satisfaction of all, but, though forgiven, he is haunted with such a ftel ing of deepest regret that be says ho will nover forgive himself for thus unwittingly injuring a near and dear friend. Ho has learned in this a life lesson, never to trille with the afifeotionsof another. —New York News. Did Their Work. A Chicago novelist, who has recently been pressed by his publishers for tho con cluding chapters of a story, says The Times-Herald, sent his wife and children into thu country in order to secure a chance to work undisturbed. Tho first night ho was alone he settled down to write. Sud denly the roomers In the flat below his be gan a terrible racket. At last, when for bearance ceased to be a virtue, the author went into the Railway and accosted a man who was carrying an armful of things out of the lower flat. "Hello!" he exclaimed. "What in thunder are you trying to do down thero anyway?" "Don't worry," replied the fellow on the landing below. "We're doing the best we can." "This is no joke, I tell you. I can't do my work properly so long as you act liko this." "We can't do our work properly either," answered the mover, with a laugh, "un less you go buck into your room now and leave us alone." The novelist retired Into his flat, closed the door and began to write. A half hour Inter he was suddenly aroused by tho loud clanging of a pollco imtrol wagon's bell. A wagon load of blue coats stopped in front of tho buildiuc I'ho flat below had been stripped clean by bur glars during tho temporary absence of the family at tho theater. BOWSER AND HIS BAR AMATEUR GYMNASTICS PROVE EX CITING IF NOT BENEFICIAL. Mr. Bowser Believes Ills Arms and L»p Are Withering anil Begins a Coarse of i Exercise —••Skinning the Cat" ail Aet Ho Is Not l'p On. "What's all this truck you had sent up hero this afternoon?" askod Mrs. Bowser as her better half camo home to dinner the other evening. He replied that ho would explain after he had satisfied his appetite, and when they arose from the table ho romoved his coat, bared his right arm and said: "Mrs. Bowser, feel this arm, will you?" "Havo you got rheumatism?" she asked as sho ron he<r hand over it. "You have heard of withered limbs, haven't you? Well, my arms and legs aro going to wither and become of no earthly use to mo unless something is done right away. I'vo suspectod it for a long time, but was not suronintil I had a talk with a doctor today." "Aro you going to take a course of treatment?" she asked. "That's it exactly, and I hope to check the withering business in tbo bud. Yes, lam going right at it this evening. Think what would happen, Mrs. Bowser, if my legs refused to hold me tip —if my arms lost their strength until I could no longer feed myself." "Where's your inedicinof' "I shall tako no medicine. What is wanted in this case is exercise—plenty of exercise. lam now going to put up a per forming bar in tho garret and do somoper forming, according to the doctor's orders. "Oh, that's it! I thought itabout time for you to get another foolish notion into your head. If you need exercise, why don't you do some walking—get half a cord of wood and a bucksaw, buy a spade and turn up some earth in the back yard? If gome man would oomo along and toll you your toes were falling off, you'd be lievo him!" "Mrs. Bowser, what do you know of anatomy?" ho demanded, with great dig nity. "And what do you?" she retorted. "Enough to believe a doctor when ho says my arms are gradually shrinking away until they will soon bo pipestems, and all for tho want of exorcise. He has told mo what to do, and I'm going to do it. If you want to shrivel and shrink, go ahead, but I don't propose to die that way. 1 shall put up my performing bar and per form." She mado no further protest, knowing that words would be useless, and Mr. Bowser carried the bundle of stuff to the garret and began work. In tbo course of half an hour ho hud his bar up, and, hav ing removed all unnecessary clothing, was ready to begin. Mrs. Bowser camo up just then and inquired what ho was going to do. He leaped up, caught the bar with both hands and swung back and forth und replied: " You soo the objoct, Mrs. Bowsor. Tho first Idea is to strengthen tho muscles of tho arm, and that is done by sustaining tho weight of tho body. I find that I can sustain myself, but a week later I might not havo been ablo to. You havo heard of Samson, of course? Ho began on a per forming bar like this." " You'd get moro exercise by carrying the ashes out of the cellar," sho said as she turned away. "That's you, of course!" ho exclaimed as ho dropped from the bar. "It's enough that I want to do anything that you should oppose it. If you'd wake up some morn ing und find mo withered up liko an old bean pod, you'd rejoice in your heart. You won't have that satisfaction, how ever. I already foel better than I have in three months." "I'll get the camphor and other things ready," she called from the head of tho stairs. Ho waitod until sho had disappeared and then resumed his swinging. There wusn't much fun in this, as it mndo his arm ache, and ho presentlly decided that his logs ought to havo a show. Ho had seen a log thrown over the bar In a gym nasium, und he set out to do it. Ho got tho swing all right, and ho lifted his leg j just at tho right instant, but just as he thought ho hiicl niado a success of It some thing fi-11 on tho floor with n jar that shook tho house. It was Mr. Bowser. He Lad missed tho "hang" of it. For i% long minute ho lay there looking up at tbo celling and trying to make out what had happened. Then, as things began to clear up, Mrs. Bowtier appeared and asked: "Are you trying to brvak your back to keep your arms from withering? I thought the whole house was coining down." "Woman," gasped Mr. Bowser as he slowly sat up, "you hoped I had killed 1 myself, but I only sat down to rest. You can trot right down stairs again and at tend to your household affairs.'' Sho disappeared, and he took three or ( four minutes to study it out. He had not • swung his body hard enough, and ho tried ( to throw his right leg over the bar instead of the left. His back and shoulders ached, j but he rose up with a grim determination to succeed or die. He was in no hurry, however. He went at it cautiously, and after three or four efforts ho suddenly lift< d himself, and his leg went over the bar. For ten seconds he was tickled half to death as lie hung there. Then it occur red to him that he had got to get his leg down again or remaiu on the j>ercli all night. He tried again and again, but he | couldn't do ft, and, losing his nerve, be j called for Mrs. Bowser. "What are you trying to do?" she asked I is she came running up stairs. I "To get that leg off the bar!" ho shouted. I "But don't you see that you can't do it i unless you raise your whole body? You i *ro sagging down like a bag of sand. ■ What did you want to get your leg over for?" I "I dunuo, but something will have to be done." "Better leavo it up there all night. There are signs that your spinal column is withering away, and the position may j do it good." "Can't you help lift me up?" he plead ed. "I don't believe I can hold on hero another minute." "You'll have to. I'll get the cook, and maybe both of us can boost yon up. Didn't I tell you just how it would come out? If somebody should tell you to hang yourself up by tho hair of tho head to turn your toes out, you'd do it." She went down sfairs and left him hang ing on like grim death, his faco as red aa a beet and tho perspiration trickling down his neck. S-lse didn't call the cock. She simply sat down to wait for results. In about three minutes they came. Mr. Bowser maintained his grip until his fin gers w»re numß, and all of a sudden he uttered a yell and let go. His leg hold sustained him for a few seconds, and then there was anotner yell and a crash. He had only three feet to fall, but as bo struck on his head and fell over like a sturdy oak , the cook in tho kitchen dropped the dish pail and jumped for tho back yard. Fivo minutes later Mr. Bowser heard himself asking: "Where am I, and what has happened?" "You aro right under your performing bar and havo performed," he heard Mrs. Bowser answer. "Am I killed*' "Oh, no! On the contrary, yon are no longer In any danger of being withered up. Take a long whiff of this camphor and lie quiet for a few minutes." "What—what was I trying to do?" he whispered between his sniffs. "I think you were trying to skin the cat, as thoy call It. but the cat skun you. Lot 1110 help you down stairs and get you into bed." Neit morning Mr. Bowser got up with a lop in each shoulder, a limp in cither leg and his back humped up, but he was game. When Mrs. Bowser asked him how he felt, ho replied: "Same as usual. Why?" •'I didn't know hut tho fall hurt you." "Fall—fall! What fall?" "From your performing bar last night. Don't you remember?" "No, ma'cni, I don't," he stiffly replied. "If you allow yourself to become bilioi.» irnve rtic -nightmare, you need not bothor me with your fantasies. It's my opinion that you'd better do some perform ing on the and coal bills and not be so reckless in your household expenses." M. QUAD. In Memorlam. HE DIED AS HE IIAD LIVED—UPRIGHT. —Comic Cuts. A Crying Need. "What this city needs," said tho man in the golf suit, "is a law that will re quire pedestrians to tako lessons in walk ing." A "For what reason?" demanded the youth in the tennis suit. "Oh, they take up too much room now," j explained the man in tho golf suit. "We can't tell just where ho will find them next either. Thoy wabble too much. If they would stick to a straight line, they wouldn't bothor us so much when wo take to the sidewalk for a block or two to avoid a muddy street. In tho ideal community pedestrians will bo trained to walk on tho curbstone, so that bicyclists can have both tho street and the sidewulk."—Chicago Post. » I HIS RULING PASSION. St. Peter stood at the pearly pate And pazod down the narrow way Up which tuilixl thesouibof those whom fate Had numbered to die that day. And marveled he much that among th« throng Was one who was blithe and pay And merrily trundled a wheel along Up tho straight and narrow way. Nor did he appear to burdened be O'ermuch with his load of sin, For, doffing his cap to Bt. Peter, he Proceeded to enter in. But Peter cried: "Not so fast, 1113" friend! Your wins have been too great. I'm sorry to say your journey's end Is not at the pearly gate." The merry wheelman knew not dismay, But answered: "Good saint, 'tis well. I'd be much obliged if you'd kindly nay How the roads are that lead to hell." H Now, stay," Cried St. Peter, "and tell me, I pray, How is it you seem not to care 1 Whither you go or where you stay And naught for yt:ur soul's welfare?" "Oh, as for me, it matters not," The wheelman quick replied, I "If th»t place be cold or it bo hot, 60 long as I can ride!" —New York Sunday Journal. Ambiguous. ~ /SSr s3l 1 j "Tho chief is making it hot for that missionary ho quarreled with, but I think 3 they'll live together in unity after this." DESCENDANTS OF PILGRIMS. t 1 sir Walter Draant Figures That There Art* 10.000 In America. j Many people in America claim descant r from the pilgrim fathers. There might ' be a very considerable number, if we come to think of it. For instance, let t us assume the number cf married pco ' pie among the lirst hundred who sor 'j vived the lirst winter as 20 couple* We t ! will allow them three children apiece. . We will give to each of these children I two —a large allowance, it is true. Then r * we have for each married couple, for t tho first generation, 3 descendant..; for i the (second. C; for the third, IS; for the * fourth, 24; for the fifth, 48; fcr tho sixth, 96; for the seventh, 193; fcr th n 1 eighth, 384; for the ninth and t-V- t:< ?- j | ent generation. 768, anil for tl»« < r>g y inal 20 married coupler, IS.', S' P that tho living descendants of . -y --f flower pilgrims can hardly I * nor* •] about 15,000. Out of these a great raauy < have probably clean forgotten th :r t;-. ' scent. Probably there are not anyti.ajg e like 10,000. If I were an American, I should cer j taiuly like to bo one of that 10,000 Not that I feel the least attraction to a a narrow and fanatic religion, bet be cause the pilgrim fathers made s« fierce t a light for existence and n place where 1 they could think as they pleased and allow no one else to think as he might please. Ancestry, in this country at j least, is chiefly a matter of selection. Tho people who keep up their geneal ogies drop out as they go along Bum i berless branches. People who w.ish to r recover their genealogies havo got to "hitch on" at one of the dropped branches. Every marriage in a goueal- J ogy is a kind of junction, where many j lines may meet. Now, tho business of the genealogist is to look up all the June a tions, to follow up each one and to { choose the line which offers the most i I desirable alliances. Some years ago an ingenious gentleman offered to find roy al descent for any one for £7O down. ' He did it, too, quite honestly. Ho said j that if you could only get back 100 ! years or 60 it was perfectly easy to con nect with Edward I or Edward 111. Sir Walter Besant in London Queen. i 1 "My Own Notes." 1 I havo made in a number of years ol ' ardent collection quite a library pf my own notes, and the fact that I have al ready lived two-thirds of my probable , of life and am a "buccaneer" of f the newspaper world by stress of cir cumstances sometimes gives me a pang. I rerognize tho ludicrousness of my col ; lection for an impossible future of com fort and leisure, for even one possible posthumous work. I have never had | leisure to produce one wliple or com plete piece of literature and probably never shall have a day's leisure in my life, but this irony of fate does not de i ter me. I am like a collector of specimens of 1 butterflies. He will never learn to fly, or the secret of it, or anything in par ticular, but he goes on collecting. I shall never write the books of tho sketch skeletons iu my imagination, but i I shall certainly continue to make end less preparations for a posthumous li brary of, according to my schemes and plots and themes, some 1,000 sturdy volumes. The world of readers may thank God perhaps that these books will not ap pear in print, but I am just mad UUlUltfll «««re tn «W "OUTT making, in imagination, these schemes for books that can never be written. Perhaps it is as sane an occupation as old china collecting, stamp collecting, button collecting and, to jump to the extreme of Philistinism, the collection of dubious old masters, mostly daubs. I confess this speculation seems to me to be a fad no wiser. Looking at it from my point of view, as a book lover, I think what a library these daubs would buy. —Lotus. Broke the Spell. Up to the time of Clevelai^l 'selection it was a popular superstition with poli ticians that no candidate whose name began with tbe letter C could be elected to the presidency. Tbe idea arose from the fact that no man whose surname presented this peculiarity, no matter how strong he was with tho people, hud ever been successful at tbe polls. There were two Clintons, George and DeWitt, William H. Crawford, Henry Clay. Lewis Cass and a number of others, who, though their prospects seemed bright indeed, met with a defeat when it came to the test. Several of the C's, George Clinton and Henry Clay, for in stance, were strong candidates several times, but never could "make tho rilUu. " —Pittsburg Dispatch. Bertioii» of a Kentucky Pedigree. Bob Jolly of Cave City has a hand saw purchased in 17&8 in Virginia. It was bor.ght iu that yenr by the grand* - father of tbe Otter brothers, the well known Louisville merchants, who are no spring chickens at this writing themselves. Mr. Otter, the grandfather, shortly after moved to Kentucky and brought the saw with him. Mr. Jolly has owned the saw for 43 years. The rear wheels of the wagon in which Mr. Otter mado his trip to Kentucky from Virginia are still to be seen on the place of Mrs. Caleb Freeman in the Cave City country. These arc about 100 years old.—Glasgow Times A Smart Minister. "Yardsley donated a caster worth 07 cents to tba minister and put a tag on it marked $16." j "Yes?" "Well, the parson took the articlo to Yardsley's store yesterday and traded it for dry goods. Yardsley's smile won't be able to be out again for six weeks." —Harper's Bazar. Justifiable. "The SI,OOO beauty had to get a di vorce from the human ostrich." "Why?" "He kept swallowing her curling iron and hairpins."—Chicago Record. Thetr Mutual Um. Drummer (nt Moonshineville, Ky.)— Good morning, Mr. Crossroads. How's business? Storekeeper (disconsolately)— Mighty poor—mighty poor. You see, a new store started up in opposition to me, an of course I couldn't stand that, so I jest gave my frien's the wink, nn they commenced k-illin off bis customers, but he hud mora trade than I kitlkerlMtvd on, an w'en his customers began to shoot buck it mode a purty even fight, an both sides killed each other off so fast that now there ain't either of us got any customers.— New York Weekly. Bis Forte. Young Lady—You area wonderful mos- ' ter of the piano, I hear. Professor von Spieler (hired for tbe oc- 1 casion) —I blay aggompanlmeuts some times. Young I^ady—Accompaniments to sing ing? Professor von Spieler—Aggompani ments to gonversations.—Tit-Bits. Arfnmni<xlstlii(. Bridget with a kitchen full of company. Mistress (lit the bead of tho stairs)— Bridget! Bridget—Yes, ma'am. Mistress—lt's 10 o'clock. Bridget —Thank ye, mu'aiu! And wiy yc be so koind ez to tell me whin it's IS?— Pick Me Up. fc ALTRUISM IN ANIMALS. i Some Show Friendly and I*aMlflih XnM DiJUcult to I'ndersUuid. t A Fronrh scientist lias lately wriWa t au interesting paper on altruism In ani mals, arriving at tbe startling eoocln sion that animals are perhaps better : Christians than men. He says, "Ani mal -ocieiie.i are less polished, bat per haps more humane, all thiugs being , equal, thau our own," and give«e*ve>al i instances of animal species made use at , ! by another and performing services for the latter withont receiving anything in exchange. Among others is mentioned tha case • ; of tho crocodile and the bird trochilos ■, | on tho banks of tho Nile. This bird per ! forms two services for the crocodile. It j euters into its month and dispatches ! there the worms and leeches which j trouble the crocodile. It flies rapidly away, giving vent to a peculiar cry, when the ichneumon, the enemy of the crocodile, approaches, thus apprising its , companion of tho ichneumon's presence. Iu return the crocodile shakes its trfil whenever it wishes to close its mouth, thus giving the bird warning. The croo , odile in no wise recompenses, but con tents itself simply with respecting tba , person of the little animal. The service 3 rendered is unilateral But it is eaqy to \ understand that by the exercise of ex t tremely little intelligence, if not nn t consciously, tho crocodile may be led to defend its trochilua Sometimes one animal will borrow the services of another temporarily, as 3 in the case of the serpent who is ferried 3 across a river by a duck, or, aI ft*- _ 1 quently seen, several animals aariat one another in crossing streams of water, in lifting large stones, in moving the f trunks of tTees, in constructing dams, in hunting or in mutual defense. Aphida, 3 who have the power of secreting an ab t domiual fluid of which ants are passion -3 ately fond, are kept by the ants in ata bles like milk cows and carefully watched.—Chicago News. J ENGLISH ROYALTY. Wh»t It Is Said to Cost the British Tu payer Yearly. The chancellor of tbe exobequerwent out of his way reoently, says Labou- I chere, in London Truth, to explain bow r little the monarchy coats England. The crown lands, he said, belong to the sor , ereign and produce f 2,060,000 per an | num. The queen receives instead of this revenue $1,925,000 and the real of the royal family $1,060,000. Therefore the total cost of monarchy to the tax payer is $925,000. Tbe entire e&lonla* , tion proceeds on the erroneous aasamp- I tion that the crown lands are the pri vate property of the sovereign. This they are not They originally formed • portion of the general revenue of tbe country, out of which came tbe main tenance of the sovereign. That abject flunky Lord Bute, wish ing to curry favor with George m, in serted in the civil list aot which waa passed on that monarch 'a aooession m , renuueiatiofi-by him of the orown land* and this renunciation by a sovereign of what he did not possess is the bails of the theory of these crown lands being the private property of the oocupant of tbe throne. According, therefore, to Sir Miohgel Hicks-Beach's ofrn figures, monarchy costs England $2,985,000. Tbe nal amount is, however, much higher, for >l.,i ■ ~ i ..i..immuimu luuiueuwu to the institution which he does not in clude. The bard fact remains that in France the president receives $900,000 per annum and fulfills with deoent splendor all the duties of the head of the state, while with England the mon archy costs nearer £1,000,000 than 1,000,000 francs A defense, therefore, of monarchy on the ground of economy hardly holds water. Bending Cardboard. An English inventor— name or loca tion we do not find given— is said to have contrived a tool capable of being attached to any machine or apparatus having a transversing slide and a fixed table that will bend oardboard withont the need of a score cut, thus preserving the full strength of the material at tbe bend. The tool in question is formed of metal or wood and is in two parts, one having a recess on one edge and tbe other a straight edge, having the upper edge rounded off to fit into the reoeas on the edge of the first part, allowing space between equal to the thickness of the substance to be bent— the length of the straight edge to be made to the longest bend required. In using the tool, the second mentioned part is made a fixture to the table machine frame or apparatus and the first part is attached to the traversing portion. By placing tbe cardboard to be bent on the straight edge, then sliding the second part over and along the board under a certain amount of pressure, a bend in the card will be produoed.— New York Sun. Archbishop Jusseos. The late Archbishop Janssensof New Orleans left an estate of only about $6,000, which he inherited from his father, and three-fourths of it he be queathed for religions and charitable purposes He was entitled to a hand some salary for years, but drew barely enough to pay the actual expenses tat his simple living, having allowed tbe remainder to accumulate to pay off tbe debt of the diocese. ▲ll In the Srfme Boat. Gus de Smythe—Thoee new boots of yours squeak awfully. Perhaps they ain't paid for yet? Johnnie Fewscads—That's all non sense. If there is anything in that, why don't my coat and my vest and my trousers and my hat squeak too? Lo ndon Fun. Campbell, comparatively unknown, received $18,500 for the "Pleasures of Hope," though Burns, less fortunate, was paid $125 for the first Kilmarnock edition of his poems—single copies at which now sell for far more— and $4,360 for tho second edition. For Prudential Reason*. Jack D&sbing—Wo must break the SB* gagement. Perdita—Why? Jack Dashing— l do not think your fa ther can afford a son-in-law.—New York Truth. Nice to Handle. She—Law? What is law? Woman gov ern n the world. Woman is law. He—That must be tbe reason why so many men llko to take the law In their own hands.—New York Evening Journal. The Thirst For Knowledge. Tho great trouble with aoquiring knowl edge is that the things a man longs most to know are none of his business.—Atchi son Globe. The Name's the Thing. Tliouuh his rhymes were not tbe newest, And bis meter not the truest, And his errors not the fewest, Vet they took the verse he sent. T»as a poem on the weather, All the chtwtnate heaped together, But it didn't matter whether It was old, the poem went. For two words of msglo meaning, Every uuperfection screening. From the work all blemiahcleaniag, Saved the verses from the flame. This expression so redeeming. With poetie fancy teeming. Very .soul of music seeming, Was the famous poet's name. _ No 33
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers