VOL XXXI
THE PHOENIX.
Do you know why the PHOENIX bicycle is the most
popular wheel in Pittsburg? Do you know why it won
the Butler-Pittsbugh race, and the Wheeling-Pittsburg?
Simply because bearing, chain, tire, frame—all the
parts—are made of the best material. Because we
build the lightest,easiest running wheel that is safe and
reliable for the roads.
We also make a specialty of an easy running and light
lady's wheel, which is equally popular.
A guarantee is a good thing in its
way. The PHOENIX guarantee cov
ers every point, but the best point of all
is the fact that repairs or claims for de
fective parts constitute an exceedingly
small per centage of our cost of manu
facture.
For catalogue and other information
©
address,
THE STOVER BICYCLE M'f'g. Co.
FREE PORT, ILL. or
J. E. FORSYTHE, Agent.
BUTLER, PA.
ILL FOR FUN
Some people go one place and some
another for a month during the summer.
They lose their time and expense and its
none of our business, but we have decided
to stay at home and spend the time talk
ing to our customers and giving them bar
gains just for fun, to see how it goes. We
are willing to spend our time for nothing
only for July—not a day longer. That's
all the time we can afford to spend for
nothing. Some things we will sell below
cost:
Rawhide Whips 30c. Whalebone Whips 30c. Leather Fly-nets sl.
4 boxes Axle Grease 25c. Bindei Whips, 10 feet, 50c.
And Buggies, Wagons, Harness and everything belonging to a team
or driving outfit in proportion. No difference what you want
about a horse or team, come here. We pay no rent and expect to
be here all our life. The guessing on the horse is still going on.
Try your luck—it costs nothing to try. Everybody over 16 years
old allowed a guess. Women and men both guess. Over 1100
guesses already. Counted July 20 at noon.
S. B. Martincourt & Co.
128 East Jefferson Street,
BUTLER, - PA.
S. B. MARTINCOURT, J. M. LIEGHNER.
W. F. HARTZELL. L. M. COCHRAN.
BUTLER ROOFING COMPANY,
Wholesale and Retail Dealers in
—Excelsior Fire-Proof Slate Paint—
For Shingle Roofs,and Ebonite Varnish for all Metal Roofs. Also,
Agents for the Climax Wool and Asbestos Felt, the King
of Roofing Felts.
All kinds of roofs repaired and painted on the shortest notice.
Estimates given on old or new work and the same promptly attended
to.
ALL WORK GUARANTEED.
BUTLER ROOFING COMPANY,
320 SOUTH MCKEAN STREET, * * , * BUTLER, PA.
C. R. ELLIOTT,
130 W. Jefferson Street,
LEADING WALL PAPER HOUSE
Will occupy this space next week.
THE BUTLER CITIZEN.
At this Season
Something is needed to keep up tha appe
tite, assist digestion and give good, health
ful sleep. For the?e purposes H«od'» Sar
saparilla is peculiarly adapted. As a blood
Hood's
JL .&%%%*%% parilla
purifier it has no / * ||
equal, and it is chiuflv M HJL
by its power to make -m -m/a,
pure blood that it has
won such fame as a cure for scrofula, salt
rheum, boils and other similar diseases.
Hood's Pills are efficient and gentle. 25c.
A Scientist claims the
Root of Diseases to be
in the Clothes we Wear.
The best Spring
remedy for the*bines,
etc., is to discard
your uncomfortable
old duds which irri
tate the body:-lea ye
your measure at
ALAND'S for a
new suit which will
fit well, improve the
appearance by re
lieving you instant-
J
ly of that tired feel
ing, and making you
cheerful and active.
The cost of this
sure cure is very
*
moderate
TRY IT.
C. , I).
A business that keeps grow
ing through a season ol de
pression, such as the country
has experienced, is an evi
dence that people realize they
save money by trading with
us. We know, and always
have known, the days of large
profits are past. Without
question we are giving more
for the money than last year.
Our stock is larger to select
from than last year.
TALL AND SEE US.
Colbert & Dale.
««£ Peremptions
jR A Specialty.
At Redick's Drag Store. #*
We do not handle anything hut
pure drugs, next time you are in
need of medicine please give us a
call. We are headquarters for pure
SODA WATER
as we use only pure fruit juices, we
also handle Paris Green, hellebore
insect powder, London purple and
other insecticides
Respectfully,
J. C. REDICK,
Main £>t.,next tollotel Lowry
BUTLER* PA.
JOHN KEMPER,
Manufacturer of
1 lai *ness, Collars,
and Strap Work,
and Fly Nets,
J '
and Dealer in
Whips, Dusters, Trunks and
Valises.
My Goods are all new and strict
first-c t t I work guaran
teed
Repairing a Specialty.
:o: :o:
Opposite Campbell & Templeton's
Furniture Store.
342 S. Main St., - Butler, Pa.
All light suits
at reduced
prices at
THE RACKET STORE.
$8 Suits Reduced to 85
10 Suits Reduced to 8
12 Suits Reduced to 10
THE RACKET STORE!
HREE civil en
gineers (their
' M civil ty belonged
mostly to the
r profession, and
not to themselves individually) met in
the smokeroom of the National Lib
eral one evening after dinner, and pro
ceeded to make themselves comforta
ble. They had just returned from
India; they were all going 1 to the thea
ter when they could summon up suf
ficient energy to leave the club; and
they all thought they knew something
about tigers. They told tiger stories
in a meditative, lazy fashion—the old
tiger stories which had been handed
down from father to son and are hoary
with antiquity. Arbuthnot, the man
who had joined them a little later, was
thin and slight of build. In the mid
dle of a story to which he was listen
ing, he would turn his head quickly
and lift Ills left hand, or, rather, the
remains of it, with a quick, involun
tary action, and drop it again if re
assured. When a waiter caine behind
him unexpectedly, ho moved uneasily
and restrained himself from rising by
a strong effort of will.
"It's Arbuthnot's turn now," said
Anderton, the junior of the three. "He
looks like a man who has been badly
scared by a tiger. We'll give him ten
minutes, and then be off."
Arbuthnot gulped down his liquor.
"I was badly seared once," he ad
mitted. "And, what's more, I shall
never get over it. I was living with
three other men at Xigriting, which
had a very bad reputation indeed in
the way of tigers. Of course, that
didn't bother mc very much until the
Man Eater stole my chokidar (watch
man) and eat him. The tiger liked
my fellow so well that lie came back
shortly afterwards, and walked off
with a new chokidar. When chokidar
number three disappeared the matter
began to be serious—and expensive.
There was a panic in the land. 1
couldn't get another chokidar for love
or money, and the relations of the de
funct chokidars would come and sit on
the bungalow veranda in rows and
solemnly heap upon my innocent head
all the curses they could think of or
invent; and, what was worse still, they
did not confine themselves to cursing
me, but cursed my ancestors and
ancestresses for five generations back
with a patient peraistenoy and copious
ness which I had never before ex
perienced, and have no wish to again
undergo. Not content with cursing
me, one of them resolved to die on the
veranda, and made elaborate prepara
tions for starving himself to death.
Suddenly, one of his friends pointed
out to him that the only drawback to
such a policy would be the fact that
the tiger came every evening, and that
no mortal with any self-respect likes
to die in less than twenty-four hours.
If a native, who had made up his mind
to die, did it in a hurry, he
would lose all the gratification
of knowing that the Sahib in
side the bungalow was being
worked up to a pitch of madness in
the endeavor to think of something to
keep him alive. You all know the mar
velous manner in which a native can
<* himself from this wor •' 'u>-
simply making up his mind to go
hence. I didn't want to have the gov
ernment come down on me for causing
the loss of an entire village of natives,
which would assuredly have happened
after they had once started dying off
like files. It Is very like an Albanian
blood feud. A kills IJ, whereupon B's
relations slay A, and A s relations
slaughter as many of B's friends as
they can conveniently fret hold of.
When chokidar number one disap
peared all his friends demanded com
pensation, and when chokidar number
two was carried off the friends of choki
dar number one thought it extremely
indelicate that the friends of number
two could not wait until their claims
had been satisfied. Of course, when
chokidar number three was wafted
into the jungle you can imagine the
further complications which ensued;
they were something awful. The only
way out of the situation was to com
pensate the whole lot of natives and
settle the tiger before he killed any
more. I was anxious to do this
for another reason; every native
in the villago who had a decaying,
semi-defunct relative of whom ho
was anxious to be rid put him
forward as a candidate for the vacant
post. The more Infirm the proposed
■watchman was, the better chance
would there be of his not escaping the
tiger and thus bringing in a little com
pensation to the rolatives and, at the
Same time, freeing them from the bur
den of supporting him in idleness. Of
course, this was all very well from the
native's point of view, but I did not
see why I should be mulcted so heavily
because a man-eating tiger did me the
honor to eat my chokidars. I was
quite content to pay extra wages if
the natives would take the extra risk,
but they didn't seem to see it in that
light, and wanted higher money as a
leort of insurance to go to their rela
tives in case of accidents.
"The matter at last grew to be so
serious that something had to be done.
I did not much care about tackling the
tiger single-handed in the lone black
ness of the night. The intense gloom,
in which you can't see your fingers be
fore you, Is apt to unnerve a man, es
pecially if there is every probability
of the beast sneaking in upon you
when you are half asleep. The mere
act of straining your attention on the
effort to keep awake gradually senaa
you into a semi-torpid state. Then
comes the tiger, and after the tiger—
oblivion.
"At length, I determined to ask
three other fellows to corao over and
watch with me through the night uni
til we could settle Master Stripes.
Like all Englishmen who get together
In India, we had a good dinner, plenty
of liquor, and cards afterwards.
About eleven, we all went into the'
veranda of my bungalow to watch.
There wasn't a star to be seen any
where, and of course all the lights in
the house had been carefully put out.
One or two of us started telling stor
ies, but, as we yarned, somehow our
courage seemed to evaporate. It was
an easy thing to talk of tiger killing
when we were sitting round the din-1
ner table glasses in hand, each man
rivaling his neighbor In the telling of
tall stories. Every now and then the
distnal howl of a jackal would set our
nerves tingling and hearts going liko
sledge-hammers. Then we would re
member that there was safety in num
bers, and at last, what with the din
ner and the drink, each man began to
feel drowsy, and fell asleep, his gun
by his side. My little toy terrier,
Sylph, coiled herself up at my feet and
went to sleep also.
"I don't know how long it was be
fore I was wakened from dreamy
elysiuin by the yap-yap-yap" of the
dog, and felt a tender pressure on my
hand. I tried to draw It away but in
vain. In my half-wakened state, I
thought that perhaps some native
\voman was playing a trick on me, be-
lUTTLER. PA..FRIDAY, JULY 27, 1894.
could have surprised the white party
had she been a tiger. The pressure on
my hand was so soft and warm, so
mesmeric in its intensity, that I lay in
a kind of pleasurable trance for a min
ute without moving. Then the pleas
ure increased —grew rougher— not so
pleasant. When I opened my eyes two
great balls of fire were looking into
mine. A tiger had got my hand in his
mouth. Of course I was perfectly par
alyzed with fright, and remained in
a dazed, half-conscious condition, feel
ing that all the others were awake, and
in just the same state of fear as my
self.
"In a little while I tried to pull my
hand away from the tiger, and felt the
animal's teeth tighten on me. I knew
that if I enraged him it would be all
up with me at once. I was being
gradually pulled away from the
veranda, and had no choice but to
comply with the beast's delicate in
sistance. He drew me off some yards
into the pitchy darkness, his object be
ing, of course, to get me into the jun
gle where he would settle me at once.
1 made a desperate effort and called
out to the others: "Boys, you're not
going to see me slaughtered like this!"
Just then the tiger drew me along
rather more quickly for about fifteen
yards. The other fellows woke up and
saw that I had gone; the only thing to
guide them through the darkness was
the ceaseless yapping of Sylph. They
heard me speak again, and scattered
in the darkness to find me. My
younger brother, who was one of the
party, had been much chaffed about
his equipment for the fray, seeing that
he had come over with a regulation
Martini and bayonet. We had been
very funny at his expense during din
ner. A man can always jest about
danger in a crowd. 'Tisn't so easy not
to feel afraid when you're being
dragged along by a hungry tiger, and
know that directly he gets you into
the jungle he means to eat
you. My brother was the first to
awake and follow the dog. Martini in
hand. The others were still a good
many yards away in the thick under
"AST> WALKED OFF WITH A NEW CHOKI
DAFT."
growth when he overtook us. With one
quick thrust he jabbed the bayonet
Into the tiger's loins and fired, grabbed
my right hand, pulled me clear, and
we raced back to the bungalow for
dear life.
"We knew, however, in this In
stance, that if the tiger had any fight
In him he would be after us in a mo
ment, so the whole lot of us tore back
through the darkness and burst, gasp
ing. on to the bungulow veranda to
gether, only to find that some one had
6hut the door In order to keep the
light in so that it shouldn't frighten
the tiger and make him suspicious.
"We fixing ourselves against the
door, trying to burst It open with our
United weight. Just as we did so, the
tiger leapt over us with a tremendous
bound, snisstjjng in the whole lath
anu-plaster front of th<» nnrt
fell, with the four of us, on the dining
room floor. When wo were able to get
up we found the tiger wasn't. Ho lay
stretched out dead on the floor, with
the bayonet still sticking in him, a
mangy old man-eater, whose skin
wasn't worth a rupee.
"We dragged him out into the com
pound and left him among the gar
denias and pomegranates until morn
ing. What they did with him then I
don't know, for I was in a lirain fever,
and yelling out for help every other
minute. If anything touches this
stump (he held up his maimed left
hand) it just breaks me all up in an in
stant. I can feel myself being dragged
through the darkness —feel the tiger's
foetid breath upon me once more—feel
that my life is not worth five seconds'
purchase; and though I've tried to
argue myself out of it, my nerve's
gone, and I daren't even go to the Zoo
or pass Roland Ward's stuffing shop
without a shiver."
FORESTALLED.
Mrs. Cobwigger—l bought a necktie
here yesterday, and the ono you sent
home wasn't anything like it.
Haberdasher—The one we sent, mad
am. was picked out by your hnsband a
month ago, in ease you ever bought
ono for him.—Puck.
Not to Bring Flattered.
Hostess —Of cour e the dinner is
given for Miss I'urdy, but I can't let
you take her in because you never will
take the trouble to t> • agreeable ex
cept for a pretty woman.
Reggy Westend—Whom do I take In,
then?
Hostess—Mrs Karris.
Reggy Westend —But she's uglier
than Miss Purdy.
Hostess—l know that, but she's mar
ried and used to being neglected.—
Life.
It Tnrnwl Out /VII Klfcht.
"What has become of your first love,
Fannie Jones, about whom you used to
rave so much?" asked a New York gen
tleman of a friend whom he had not
met for several years.
"Oh, she Is married and happy."
"And how is it with you?"
"I am still happier—and unmarried."
—Ale* Sweet, in Texas Siftings.
Incredlbl*.
Bob —Awfully embarrassing thing
happened to-day. Jack. I went into a
shop to buy some cigars, when I sud
denly discovered that I had left my
monev at home.
Jack —Did the proprietor trust you?
Bob—<), yes; he knew me.
Jack (in surprise)— And lie trusted
you?— Answers.
Not llic Only Thing That Doe*.
"Money talks, does it?" soliloquized
Mr. Dreffleshort. absent-mindedly tap
ping something he held in his hand.
"Humph! So docs an empty pocket
book. And what a hollow voice it
has!" —Chicago Tribune.
Had riinca.
Traveling Salesman (despondently)
—By Jingo! times are bad. Why, they
don't even throw me out of the houses
I visit as they ysed to do.-^Hallo.
IN SUMMER DAYS.
It Is the noon time of the year.
When long midsummer days arc here
The seed Is sown from which upsprlngs
A multitude of growing things
That shall make good, some later day.
The seedtime promise of the May.
We sowed In faith. in faith we wait
The harvest, be It soon or late.
What joy It Is. on days like this.
To go where nature's workshop Is,
And watch the way In which she weaves
The blossoms, and the myriad leavesl
Such glowing tints, such textures flno,
Such miracles in branch and vine!
How much there is for us to learn.
No matter where our footsteps turn.
Beside Ms nest the robin sings
His little song of unfledged wings:
We hear the pagpipe of the bee
Among the garden beds, as he
Searches for sweet 3 in every flow r
His life will know no squandered hour.
Were he like me. this summer day.
He'd idle many an hour away I
What rest Is round us. deep and sweet!
Infancy earth and Heaven meet
On this green hillside, where the sky
Bends low. while winds that wander by
Seem freighted with a lotus-spell
That brings a peace unspeakable.
So perfect that I quite forget.
In summer dreams, life's work and fret.
—Eben E. Hexford. In Good Housekeeping
7*l sun ,vas
j ust rising as
Iff tl, b"
Rjl like steamer,
or, to be more
correct, steain
-^- T " "' barge, the
Bulldog, steamed past the sleeping
town of Gravesend at a g-ood six knots
per hour.
There had been a little discussion
on the way between her crew and the
engineer, who, down in his grimy
little engine room, did his own stoking
and everything else necessary. The
crew, consisting of eaptain, mate, and
boy. who were doin<f their first trip on
a steamer, had been transferred at the
last moment from their sailing-barge,
the Witch, and found to their discom
fort that the engineer, who had not
expected to sail so soon, was terribly
and abusively drunk. Every moment
he could spare from his engines he
thrust the upper part of his body
through the small hatchway and
rowed with his commander.
"Ahoy, bargee," he shouted, popping
up like a jack-in-the-box, after a brief
cessation of hostilities.
"Don't take no notice of 'im," said
the mate. "'E's got a bottle of brandy
down there, an' he's 'alf mad."
"If I knew anything o' them blessed
engines," growled the skipper, "I'd go
an' hit 'im over the head."
"But you don't" said the mate, "and
neither do I. so you'd better keep
quiet."
"You think you're a fine feller."
continued the engineer, "standing up
there an' playing with that littlo
wheel. You think you're doing all the
work. What's the boy doing? Send
him down to stoke."
"Go down," said the skipper, grin
ning with fury, and the boy reluctant
ly obeyed.
"You think," said the engineer, pa
thetically, after he had cuffed the
boy's head and dropped him down be
low by the scruff of his neck, "you
think because I've g-ot a blnek face I'm
not a man. There's many a lioily face
'iftlco a godc * 4 "
"I don't think nothing about it,"
grunted the skipper; "you do your
work, and I'll do mine."
"Don't you give me none of your
back answers," bellowed the engineer,
•"cos 1 won't 'ave 'era."
The skipper shrugged his shoulders,
and exchanged glances with his sym
pathetic mate. "Wait till I get 'im
ashore," he murmured.
"The biler is wore out," said the en
gineer, reappearing after a hasty dive
l>elow. "It may bust at any moment."
As though to confirm his words, fear
ful sounds were heard proceeding from
below.
"It's only the boy," said the mates
"he's scared—natural."
"I thought it was the biler," said the
skipper, with a sigh of relief. "It was
loud enough."
As he spoke the boy got his head out
of the hatchway, and, rendered des
perate with fear, fairly fought his way
past the engineer, and gained the deck.
"Very good," said the engineer, as
he followed him on deck and stag
gered to the side. "I've had enough o'
you lot."
"Hadn't you better go down to them
engines," shouted the skipper.
"Am I your slave?" demanded the
engineer, tearfully. "Tell me that.
Am I your slave?"
"Go down and do your work like a
sensible man." was the reply
At these wards the engineer took
umbrage at once, and, scowling fierce
ly, removed his greasy jacket and
flung his cap on the deck. He then
finished the brandy which he had
brought up with him, and gazed owl
ishly at the Kentish shore.
"I'm going to have a wash," he said,
loudly, and, sitting down, removed his
boots.
"Go down to the engines first," said
the skipper, "and I'll send the boy to
you with a bucket and some soap."
"Bucket" replied the engineer,
scornfully, as lie moved to the side.
"I'm going to have a proper wash."
"Hold him," roared the skipper, sud
denly. "Hold him."
The mate, realizing the situation,
rushed to seize him, but the engineer,
with a mad laugh, put his hands on
the side and vaulted into the water.
When he rose the steamer was twenty
yards ahead.
"Go astarnl" yelled the mate.
"How can 1 go astarn when there's
nobody at the engines?" shouted the
skipper as he hung on to the wheel
and brought the boat's head sharply
around. "Get a line ready."
The mate, with a coil of rope in liia
liai.d, rushed to the side, but his bene
volent efforts were frustrated by the
engineer, who, seeing the boat's head
making straight for him, saved his life
by an opportune dive. The steamer
rushed by.
"Turn 'er agin," screamed the mate.
The captain was already doing so,
and in a remarkably short time the
boat, which had described a complete
circle, was making again for the engi
neer.
"Look out for the line," shouted the
mate, warningly.
"I don't want your line," yelled tha
engineer. "I'm going ashore."
"Come aboard," shouted the captain,
imploringly, as they swept past again.
"We can't mauugc the engines."
"I'ut her round again," said tha
mate. "I'll go for him with the boat.
Haul her in, boy."
The boat, which was dragging
astern, was hauled close, aud the mate
tumbled into her, followed by the boy,
just as the captain was in the middle
of another circle—to the iutense in
dignation of a crowd of shipping, large
and small, which was trying to get by.
"Ahoy!" yelled the master of a tug
which was toting a large ship. "Take
that steam roundabout out of the way.
What the thunder are you doing?"
"Picking up my engineer," replied
the captain, as he steamed right across
by ws and nearly rjm <,Jq\va
a sailing barge, the skipper of whicn,
a Salvation Army man, was nobly
fighting with his feelings.
"Why don't you stop?" he yelled.
'"Cos I can't." wailed the skipper of
the Bulldog, as he threaded his way
between a hug-e steamer and schooner,
who, in avoiding him. were g-etting- up
a little collision on their own account.
"Ahoy, Bulldog, ahoy," called the
mate, "stand by to pick us up We've
got him."
The skipper smiled in an agonized
fashion as he shot past, hotly pursued
by his boat The feeling on board of
the other craft as they (jot out of the
way of the Bulldog, and nearly ran
down her boat, and then in avoiding
that nearly ran down something else,
cannot be put in plain English, but
several captains ventured into the do
mains of the ornamental with marked
success.
"Shut off steam!" yelled the engi
neer, as the Bulldog 1 went by again.
"Draw the fires then."
"Who's going to steer while I do it?"
bellowed the skipper, as he left the
wheel for a few seconds to try and get
a line to throw them.
By this time the commotion in the
river was frightful, and the captain's
steering, as he went on his round
again, something marvelous to behold.
A strange lack of sympathy on the
part of brother captains added to his
"OK DO I STAND?"
troubles. Every craft he passed had
something to say to him. busy as they
were, and the remarks were as monot
onous as they were insulting. At last,
just as he was resolving to run his
boat straight down the river until he
came to a halt for want of steam, the
mate caught the rope he flung, and the
Bulldog went down the river with her
boat made fast to her stern.
"Come aboard, you—you lunatic," he
shouted. ,
"Not afore I knows 'ow I stand,'
said the engineer, who was now beau
tifully sober, and In full possession of
a somewhat acute intellect.
"What do you mean?" demanded the
skipper.
"I don't come aboard," shouted the
engineer, "until you, and the mate,
and the bye all swear as you won't say
nothing about this little game."
"I'll report you the moment I get
ashore," roared the skipper. "I'll give
you in charge for desertion. I'll—"
With a supreme g-esture the engineer
prepared to dive, but the watchful
mate fell on his neck and tripped him
over a seat.
"Come aboard," cried the skipper,
aghast at such determination. "Come
aboard, and I'll give yon a licking
when we get ashore instead."
"Honor bright?" inquired the engi
neer.
"Honor bright," chorused the three.
The engineer, with all the honors of
war, eainc on board, and after remark
ing that he felt chilly bathing on an
empty stomach, went down below and
began to stoke. I a the course of the
voyage he said that it was worth while
making such a fool of himself, if only
to see the skipper's beautiful steering,
warmly asseverating that there was
not another man 011 the river that could
have done it. Before this insidious
flattery the skipper's wrath melted like
snow before the sun, and by the time
they reached port lie would as soon
have thought of hitting- his own father
as his smooth-tongued engineer.—
Short Stories.
Eauy for llubby.
When a woman goes away for a sum
mer vacation her husband finds the
housework very easy; all he lias to do
Is to empty the crock under the refrig
erator and get his meals down town.—
Atchison Globe.
—Doubt is almost a natural phase of
life, but as certainly as it is natural, it
Is also temporary, unless it is unwisely
wrought into conduct. —T. T. Munger.
TAKING HIM DOWN A I'EO.
' TpdilL
Wanted to Keep Hlin Honest.
Employer (to clerk) —1 hear you've
Just got married, liunkle, and I'm sure
you can't support a wife on the salary
you're receiving.
Clerk (Joyfully, expecting a rise)—
No, sir, 1 don't see how I can.
Employer—Just what I thought; so
you'd better leave. —Brooklyn Life.
A Modest Rrqnnt.
Young Woman (in post office) —Won't
you please stamp this letter for me?
Astonished Clerk—Why don't you do
it yourself?
Young Woman—l'm afraid to. I read
of a dreadful case of poisoning from
the gum on a stamp yesterday.—Judge.
The Doctor's Art.
Illy—l don't see why the doctor has
to come here twice a day. He leaves
medicine on his first visit, doesn't he?
Mrs. Illy—Yes; but he has to come
again in the afternoon to leave an an
tidote for the medicine he left in the
morning.—Puck.
A Practical Koygestlon.
Bobble—Mamma, doesn't it make
your hands warm when you spank me?
Mamma-r-Why, yes, Bobbie, it does.
Robbie —Wouldn't It do Just as well,
then, mamma, for you to go and hold
them over the kitchen range?— Texas
Sittings.
AD Interesting Conversation.
Mother—Did you try to make your
self agreeable at Mrs. High tone's?
Little Daughter—Yes'm; I told her
all the funny things our callers said
about her, and she seemed to be real
interested.—Good News.
A Safe Delay.
Jess—You said you were going to
speak to father when you met him at
the club.
Jack—l saw him only once, and then
he was two hundred dollars behind the
game.—Puck.
Another Matter.
Merchant—l can't excuse you to
morrow for the sake of pleasure.
Clerk—lt isn't pleasure—l'm going
to get murried. —Hallo.
IMPROVEMENT.
SENATOR BRICE TALKS.
What Ohio'* Democratic Leader Think* ol
the Road yne»tlon— Economy Demaadi
of the l'ubllr Improved Highway*.
The present widespread interest in th«
improvement of the public highway* indi
cates the tendency of the people of differ
ent communities to become more closely
related both socially and commercially.
The first step in the direction of civiliza
tion was the creation of means by which
products could be transported from one
section to another, and the degree of civ
ilization attained in each part of the
world since that time is clearly indicated
in the advancement made in methods for
easy and quick communication.
Soon after its organization as a State
Ohio began to take rank with the fore
most commonwealths then comprising the
Federal Union, and I am happy to ob
serve she has retained and strengthened
her position among the first with cash
succeeding year, ller rapid development
and ensuing prosperity was due to the
heroic and painstaking efforts of her pio
neers, who in a few brief years turned a
wilderness Into one of the most favored
sections on the face of the earth.
The first of their efforts was the con
struction of roads. Through the forests
pathways were formed, which later be
st v A TOK CALVIN a BRICK, OHIO.
came wagon roads, and subsequently the
pike of modern days. Where there Were
swamps the old-time "corduroy," with all
its bone-shaking features, answered the
purposes of the pioneers, who met obsta
cles with plain and homely means, and
without the aid of any consulting engi
neers.
The old settler will recall the condition
of that part of Ohio reaching from the
middle and western portions to the lakes.
It was a rich and fertile stretch of land,
commonly known as the Black Swamp,
owing to the softness of the soil. It wa«
In this section that the early road makers
found some of their most trying difficul
ties, but In the end they brought tho
communities together by passable roads.
It was tho fact that tho early settlors of
Ohio BO speedily brought the several sec
tions of the Stato into easy communica
tion that caused It to rise so rapidly in
national Importance.
Since those pioneer days much has been
done in the way of Improvements, but not
all that could be asked. Tho lighter vehi
cles now In use facilitate transportation,
but they are only useful where there are
Improved roads. With no other reason
presented, economy alone demands of the
public Improved highways.
In any enterprise of this sort the ques
tion of expenso is the leading feature.
Tho repair and maintenance of roads falls
largely upon the farmers. As a claea
they have been willing contributors, be
cause their own interests have been so
deeply Involved. The agricultural claSMa
of fate years have borno heavy bunions
In tho way of taxes for local, stato and
national purposes. There is, however, a
future of promise. Tho recent political
revolution has called a halt upon adminis
trative extravagance. Without partisan
allusions or a disposition to lay the blamo
In any special quarter It has beeu plain
that plethoric treasuries have stimulated
unnecessary expenditures. State legisla
tures followed the example of open-hand
ed Congresses, and tho local officers of
the municipalities, townships, and coun
ties have kept up the pace set by the
higher bodies. As undur most systems of
'taxation the farmer paid tho big end of
the bills. Now wo have heard their de
mand for a reform, and it will be en
forced until relief from excessive taxation
will be secured. With natioual and state
taxes reduced there will be more for each
community to spend around home, which
is always a good place to put surplus
money. With the opportunity thus pre
sented to improve tho roadways without
any increase in the present tax rate, I
think the advautage will be seized upon.
In good roads lies tho prosperity of any
agricultural country, and the better thor
are the more is saved in time, labor and
money.— Senator Calvin S. Brlce, In Good
Roads.
A l'opalar Fallacy Explained.
A curious objection urged against
road reform la the assertion that It is*
movement simply for the benefit of
riders and makers of bloycles. A nar
row path answers every purpose of tho
riders of bicycles and It Is far more,
reasonable to suppose that the bi.cv«
clers, composed as thev are pf lntelll«
gent, enterprising and public-spirited
men, have been peculiarly 1 mpreasea
with the horrible condition of %ho
roads in their trips through the COUn
try and that they have learned to aP*
predate the benoflts that must cemo
to the farmers, and through the fWin
ers to the cities, from improved putylc
thoroughfares. —Rochester Heffioflrat
and Chronicle.
The llordeau* Mixture.
The Bordeaux mixture la
France. It is the refuse dye mattoi
ami was first used by a fruit grower
near Bordeaux to render his fine trees
untempting that his neighbors Blight
loose all desire to steal Lis fruit. IJ
was soon noticed that the quality and
quantity of the latter improve** and
Investigation followed. The mixturt
lias stood the test of time and is large
ly used by all fruit growers, hftvtnjj
even made some headway in
where a strong prejudice against *ll
sprayed fruits exist*.
A Personal Allanlon.
"I believe I'll go out and stretch my
legs a little," said a tall gentleman, aa
the train stopped at a station on the
New York Central.
"O, don't," said a gentleman passen
ger who had been sitting opposit« to
him, and who had been much embar
rassed by the legs of the tall gentle
man. "Don't do that. Don't stretch
those legs any more. They are too
long already."
The look the long man gave tho critlo
who objected to such lengthy extremi
ties will haunt the rash mau as long as
memory holds her scat. —Alex Sweet, In
Texas Sittings.
Tbrurr »ml Practice.
Wife—Do newspaper writers sit up
all night?
ilusband —I believe so.
"That explains it. then."
"Explains what?"
"The household department of thi»
paper recommends roast potatoes for
breakfast. One would have to sit up
all ulght to have the oven hot enough. '*
—N. V. Weekly.
Hrraklug It (Jentljr.
Edgar—Miss Edith, I—ah —have
something most important to ask you.
May I—that is—
' Edith (softly)— What is it, Edgar?
Edgar- May I—Edith, would you bo
willing to have our names printed lii
the papers, with a hyphen between? —
Aiuwn
No. 30.
HANDY WITH A Gtfi.
▲ Montana Man Who Was a Ter
ror to Bta?e Robbers.
When Ue Went Ont OA BulneM H(
Ohjected to Betas Delayed on the
Bo*d-Ho* He Got Hl*
Reputation.
"The business of holding- up stages in
the west and robbing the malls and the
passengers would not be followed by so
many desperadoes if a few more of the
travelers were like old Robert Lane,
who lives near £>illon, Mont.," said
Gaorgo Craig, of Butte, to a reporter
for the Washington Star. "Lane is as
quiet and peaceable a citizen as ever
went to ehurch on Sunday and put his
four bits into the contribution bo*. He
has lived in Montana for twenty years,
and even in youth he never personally
indulged in the old-time wild excesses
of life out there, nor in any of the hur
ly burly of frontier existence. He has
always pursued the even tenor of his
way on his little ranch near Dillon and
ever been regarded as the safest and
most peaceable citizen in the communi
ty. He is called 'Old Man Lane' out in
Montana and everybody knows him.
Several years ago the old man went
down to Red Rock, which is nearer to
his ranch than DUlon is, to take the
stage for Junction. The mules were
pulling the outfit along pretty lively
through a right nasty piece of road,
when the passengers were startled by
hearing a voice commanding the driver
to throw down his reins. There were
three or four passengers on the inside,
and if it had been light enough to see
them they would have looked mighty
white. I tell you. But old man Lane
was made of different kind of 6tuff.
When he heard the agent tell the driver
to drop the reins he just reached back
and pulled out two guns that he used
to carry, because it was the custom of
the country to do it, and kept his eye
fixed on the doors, looking first at one
door and then the other quickly, 60 as
to see the thieves when they made an
appearance.
"A shadow fell in each door window
about the same time, and quick as a
flash old man Lane's guns were stuck
through either opening and off they
went. He got meat both cracks. Then he
leaned out the window and banged
loose at the fellow who had ordered
the driver to hold up. He got him,
too, and then jumped out of the stage.
There were four of the road agents,
and the last one, alarmed at the fate
of his companions, stuck spurs into his
horse and rode away up the trail. The
passengers, who had nearly recovered
from their terror and surprise, were
now amazed to see old man Lane cut
the harness from the lead mule, jump
on his back, and go sailing away afteir
the fleeing fugitive. Shots were heard
pretty soon, and in ten minutes or so
back came old man Lane, leading the
bandit's horse, while the man himself
was sitting up in the saddle, shot
through the back. On examination It
was found that two of the attacking
party were killed and the other two
wounded, and the whole quartette was
brought into Junotion. When old man
Lane was asked what caused him to
bloom out Into such a progressive citi
zen of the territory, he drawled out:
'Well, I had a good deal of business to
attend to up here at Junction, and t
didn't like the idee of being stopped
when I was on my way to attend to It.
One of the men was not very badly
wounded, and before leaving Junction
to return home old man Lane went to
see him in the temporary lockup,
'Look here, my friend,' he remarked, I
just want to give you a little bit of ad
vice. If you persist in a-followlng of
the business that you have started out
in when I sort of stopped you, I think
it would be safer for yon if yon would
look ovortho way bill of any stage yofl
might intend to hold up, and find out
in advance who It was a-carrying. 1 Ojd
man Lane is living yet, and is as hale
and hearty as you please, and if he
starts on a stage ride now anywhere hi
Montana the driver don't even think it
neccssarv to lock the treasure box.'
A Terror to Criminal*.
M. Bertlllon's recent successes in the
identification of anarchists have drawn
much attention to the Anthropometric
department of Paris, over which ho
presides. Ho is the official of whom
tho habitual criminal is most in dread,
for he has brought his system to such
a state of perfection that five minutes
sometimes suffices for the discovery of
the photograph taken perhaps years
ago, and to whioh are appended vari
ous telltale details, including the date#
of the condemnations which the culprit
has already undergone. The ease with
which this is done is all tho more re
markable owing to the fact that the
department contains upwards of one
hundred and fifty thousand similar
documents. Everything is so well
classified that photographs which may
not have been looked at for years art
'promptly discovered. Nine measure
ments of prisoners are taken, and the
men employed in this work are so ex'
pert that It Is done In a few minute*.
After undergoing this process tho OtJ
prit Is photographed. Occasionally rt*
sistance Is offered, but this is rapidly
overcome. There Is no deceiving M,
Bertillon, who Is sr ld to be the special
horror of pickpockets from the British
side of the channel.
The Chine** Emperor LOTCI Quiet.
The emperor of China is not content
with the respect shown him by his SUO<
jects, and recently issuod the following
peculiar order: "After bringing oil!
sacrifice recently to tho highest being)
we heard upon our return to tho pal"
ace, near the gate leading to the lift"
perlal quarters, a rather loud nolsi
caused by talking. This shows tha
the people have not the proper regar<
for the majesty of the ruler, and aUj
that tho officers of the body guarc
have failed to do their duty properly
The officers who were on post at tQj
particular gate must be punished
therefore, by thi minister oi war. IT
the future, however, all officers, hlgt
or low, must see that a noise 80 IHI
proper shall not occur in our presenOS.
IMPROVISED NINK-PIN ALLEY.
Fliegendo Blaettcr.
Snltor and Sued.
When I pressed uijr iiult the smiled.
All mj luviug heart beguiled;
When ibe preened her suit—how ruhl
Cost me Just three thousand— cash I
—Atlanta Constitution.
A Modern Fropoeal.
Young De Style—Aw—congwatulaU
me, my deth fellah. I'm the happiest
man outside of Lunnon.
Friend—Eh? Is it about the lovely
Miss De Fashion?
Young De Style—That's it I awaked
her to bharc my twenty thousand a
yeah, and she said she would.—N.
W»«klv.
Not to He Returned.
llrlggs —(lander seems to be very
happy in his newly-married life.
Urig-Rs—lie ou;;ht to be. All Of blq
wedding presents were given Mw t>y
people . ... *