tuattm... Mm i in i Ti'i" i ii i " J--- i"., iiinmn iinir m mMi"ii ii n " ii-1-1 ninT 1 - rj"iii in- i mi mi , i nmin ''''itJiZilwxmmm 11 tinim ihmmi iti mi llwri imi uniBinmuw in m im iirantnr.m t-m- - mmm - .1 l' A - " THE WHOLE ART OP GOVERNMENT CONSISTS' IN THE ART OF BEING HONEST. JEFFERSON. VOL. 11. STROUDSBURG, MONROE COUNTY, PA, THURSDAY, JULY 3, 1851. No. 41. I' ub l ishcd by Ttacodorcjgcliocii TERMS-Two dollars per annnum in advance Two dollars and a quarter, half ycarly-and if not paid I be lore the end of the year, Two dollars and a half. Those who receive their papers by a carrier outage dm ers employed hythe proprietor, will be charged 3, 1-2 CTS"ersCditconUnued until all arrearages arc paid, errent at the ontion of the Editor. . AdvcriiSnis not exceeding one square (six tecMiaesl uiU be inserted three weeks for one dollar, and lwentyS"c cents for every subsequent insertion. Thc ClS for one and three insertions thesume. A liberal discount made to yearly advertisers. ip All letters addiessed to the Editor must be postpaid. JOB P El 1X TING. Having a general assortment of large, elegant, plain and ornamcntul Type, we are prcpai cd to execute evcrv description of Cards, Ciiculars, Bill Heads, Notes, Blank Rescripts, Justices, Legal and others Blanks. Phamphleis, if., printed with neatness and despatch, ou reasonable terms, AT THE OFFICE OF THE .TefffersoniJtn ItcpnJmcius. Be K i ;s ri . BY MISS MARGARET COURTNEY. Bo kind to thy father: for when thou wast young, Who loved thee so fondly as he ? lie caught the first accents that fell from thy tongue, And joined in thy innocent glee. Be kind to thy father: for now he is old. His locks inlcrrnniglcd with gray ; His footsteps are feeble, once fearless and bold Thy father is passing aw ay. Bo kind to thy mother : for lo ! on her brow May traces of sorrow be seen ; . Oh, w ell may'st thou cherish and comfort her now, For loving and kind has shebeen. Remember thy mother : for thee she will pray As long as God givoth her breath ; Wjlh accents of kindness, then, chcerhcrlone w ay E'en to the dark valley of death. lie Kind to thy brother : his heart will have dearth, If the smiles of thy joy be withdrawn ,, . The flowers of feeling will fade lit their birth, If the dew of affection be gone. 1 Be kind to thy brclher w hoover you aic ; The love of a brother shall be An ornament purer and richer by far Than pcails from the depths of the soa. Be kind to thy siMcr : not many may know The'depth sf true sisterly love ; The wealth of the ocean lies fathoms below The surface that sparkles above. Thy kindness shall bring to thee many sweet hours, Ami blessings thy pathway to crown ; Affection shall weave thee a garlaikd of flowers, More pleasant than wealth or renown. Tim Fair Maid or, Cadiz. BY n. CURTIS HINE, U. S. If. Not a breeze ruffied the surface of the slumbering sea, and our little brig lay like a weaned scabird, resting her snowy wings, as Ned Jtivers and im'self were seated forward upon the windlass conversing of By-gone days. I had just left the helm, having been relieved by one of my watch-mates, and not feeling disposed to sleep, determined to while away the remainder of the watch in a dis course with my friend. 'Tell me Ned ' said I th" tale you prom- ised me sonic time since about the fair maid of Cadiz, whom you rescued from the bandit, and for which deed you received the reward.' '0, ves, I believe I did promise to spm,011" uuim" 1UU1V ai- "" - , , i-i r. you a yarn Buineume, iim rupuuu, uiter uiu- - sW for some moments in silence. ' Well. I '. suppose I may as well tell von to night as anv time ; so here goes. I ' Thr, shin to which T was attached sailed for England, a few days after the event, and vnn mnv- Tip vr11 npciirRrl that I felt a severe , heartache when the white walls of Cadiz faded j ' vVlU n0 om venture to ascend the adder j the latter of whom had informed her parents in the eastern" horizon, and I found myself and saw m' clnld ? 3lust 1 see her perish i of my iiaving twice rescued her amJ they once more far out on the wide sea, still I kept before my e3'es Werc 1 not so 0,d' 'ou were of course very grateful to me, and wil my own counsel, and did not impart the cause, would soon see howl would fly to her res- j iinff to gratify thc wishes of my heart-, and cf mv ffrief to any living person, for a man cue! Tcn thousad Pesos to t!le i"an who'aiso those of the girl herself, who loved me finds but little sympathy "among the rabble sna" aemer a"r om uic names: , tenderly for the service I had rendered her. J 1 J i t t i. t i.i .1 5 :.i t : . n . . .. .. rout on board a ship of war. The truth is, : -w geuuciiiau, wiu i, t-ouiiug 'uut,'said the old gentleman, 'you friendship for the fair creature I had rdscued :"rom the bandit, and resolved if I should ever ' succeed in reaching England, I would pro- cure my diBchargefromHis Majesty's ser-! vice, and hasten back to Cadiz, the place .' where I had left my heart j After a fine run of twelve davs, our rral- more than lant ship dropped her anchor in Portsmouth Harbor, and five days later, through the inter- est of the captain, I obtained my discharge nnrl n fronmnn nrrnln T?nt- T AlA nrtt like too many of my class, spend my hard- carnefl gains in riot and debauchery, but af- ter a visit of a few weeks to my mother, who J resided at Lymington, I engaged a passage to Cadiz in one of the regular packets, and in ( the evening of a lorely day in August, beheld ; the white shores of my native Albion fadinsr away ; for the first time in my life, strange as ' it may appear without regret. You will not wonder, my friend, when I inform you how j eager I was to reach Cadiz, and to again be- hold the lovely creature who claimed my ev-! ery thought Well, after a fine run of ten or twelve 3aye, I was again rejoiced with a glimpse of those white walls beside the sea, which a short time before I had left so reluctantly. As we sailed up thc bay, how eagerly my gaze was bent upon every well knowrl object, and how 1 longed toagam set my foot on the crowded mold of the city. It Was hot until dark that Ute nnr1:t 1 I h-itl 1 carrier! to leel Bometliino" . - a . . II II VV.II1I I I I 1111 ;i Mil Mill I I II' I lllkVll. 11(111 1 W ; I 111. via a n 1. . A. I L J - -Q J dropped her anchor, ob the wind was high, I sixty feet from the ground, and when at ' and during the afternoon we had made but Jit-i length I came abreast it, I found I should tie progress. But, when at length the mud have to jump at least six feet to reach it1 hook was fairly on the bottom, I hurried to'lt was a feaiful leap, were I to fall but one the captaiij and' requested ' a-Jxmt to convey' inch 'short of my mark, and notEUCccedin e .onshore. ? .?f?j nj Eripipg something, I , well knew that I! 1 Hallo, you must be inhurry hculd should betdaahed a hclples mass upon the judge by your actions,' said the skipper. Now tell me isn't there a lady .somewhere that attracts you !' 'I cannot answer that question,' said I, 'but will you set mo ashore V Certainly if you wish' it ; I am just about to- leave the ship myself so get ready.' ' In a few moments one of the quarter boats was lowered down, and hauled to the gang way, and jumping into her the men shoved ,neck like a lasso, and was now in a situa off, and I was quickly landed on" the mole of tion to render effectual assistance to the idol the city I had just reached the shore, when the clanging of an hundred bells told that a fire ; had broken out, and was raging with the most j and began to pour forth her thanks and grati un controllable fury ; crowds were rushing . tude, unmindful of the perils by which she past me, eager to "arrive at the scene of the , was surrounded. But I cut her short, poin conflagration, and impelled by a natural curi-, ted to the blazing roof above her head, and ! osity, I followed (the dense mass of human ; beings rushing onward, and soon found-myself in the main plaza of the city. J At this point the devouring element was raging with the most ungovernable fury. A ' large palace-like building was completely ! wrapped in flames, and twenty or thirty en- gines were playing upon it, but apparently without effect. Soon the word was passed that a young lady was in one of the upper rooms, and must inevitably perish if not im mediately rescued Will no one volunteer to save the girl V j inquired a venerable-looking old man, coming ' ! forward, and crying at the top of his voice, J j five thousand pesos to the man who shall res- cue my daughter ! j 'Still no one offered to run the fearful risk. J The danger was too great, and Spaniards are j provcrbialty careful not to put themselves in harm's way when it can be avoided. A lad-: der had been raised to the roof, and.m order ,' to save her, it was necessary for some one to I ascend it to just abreast of the window of the i room in which the lady was imprisoned by : the flames, which was something like sixty feet from the ground, and then to jump from one of the rounds, of the ladder, a distance of ' at least six-feet, into the apartment, where by means of a rope he must lower her down to ! the pavement, trusting to good luck and cir ' cumstances to make good his own retreat. You will see at once that it was a most peril ous feat, and it is not to be wondered at, that of all that immense assembly, notone could be found to attempt it. 'Just at the crisis, the young lady herself appeared at the window, and although pale ' as death, her bearing was firm and undaunted, ' and seen as she was at the centre of the win- dow, her features lit up by the devouring ! 1,aracs that u'ere JeaP,nSantl crackling on ev-1 er' side' she ambled some beautiful Mad-, donna' Wlth shelved hair floating loosely over lhs nabcd shoulders framed in lhe wal1 peerless features suffice forme: 1 could not bs raistakon- 11 was the same lovely crea" ! ture 1 had rescued from the bandit ! Just at i tlns moment the old man, her father, who had . Sazeu wun aSoni2inS 100hS uPon C1111U j .i e i. : i U1 s . -o ou" yur money because I have enough of my J oWn ' but tel1 rae' if 1 6llccced in rescuing ; yur daughter shall I have her for my wife' ' Hem !' anstt'crG(1 the old man dryly, and j castinS his e)res uPon a tall military officer j near who did not off?r to lnove a Peff in ! lhe matter himself, but who scowled upon ' ' mc from beneat ll5s shaggy eyebrows, I don 1 "know about lhat. YounS nian- WIlD are 3'0U 'Tltnt mnftnro Tint c?r if T Knvo vnttr daughter, will you give her to me, for my bride V j 4 Again the old man cast his eye upon the officer, as if hoping that he would bestir him-! self in the matter, but he did not; he only i regarded me with a snake-like glance, and . with a look seemed to sav, 4 1 should like to slit your windpipe, old fellow.' Finding, however, that there was no hope in that quarter, the father, of thc girl turned tome steadily for a moment, like one in a trance. ! It was quickly broken however, by a scream j from the young lady, followed by the crash . of a portion of the roof, which fell to the pavement with a terrible velocity. Jump, jump my lad ! Quick, be quick, and save her and she is yours !' I did not wait for further inducements. , Tearing off my coat, I seized a rope from tho hands of one of the firemen, and rushed to the window where stood the lady implor- innr mv ptir.cnr. Thn window was at least i it i i: i t a. r T. - n or - - - . pavement below. However thought I'Noth ing venture, nothing have, s6 here goes ! With a desperate swing I threw myself for ward, and just caught to the edge of the window sill, and there at that fearful height I hung suspended until the young lady seized upon me, and hauled me into the apartment The rope which had been given me at the foot of the ladder, I had coiled around my of my heart. No sooner did she behold my face, than she recognized me as her former deliverer, assured her that no time must now be lost." Making fast the rope around her waist, I lowered her in safety to the pavement, where she was received in the arms of her delighted father, who bore her off amid the cheers of the vast multitude, who arose like the moans of the ocean upon some lonely and dreary coast. Having succeeded in saving the young iauy, me next ming to uc auiiu was iu savu myself. This was no very easy matter, to be sure; but you know a sailor will always find a 1 t .1 A A 1 A 1 . J 1 way to do anything that any body can do. After revolving for a moment in my own mind the method to pursue, I at length made fast one end of my rope to a pillar of the apart- ment, and clambering out of the window, I lowered myself to the pavement, which I had but little more than reached when the roof and the entire walls of the building tumbled in with a horrid crash, reminding me of what must have been my fate had I delayed my departure another instant. ' With the destruction of that noble edifice the fire was completely checked, and the en gjnes continuing to play upon the blazing ruins, soon put an end to the confusion and dismay. 'No sooner had I reached the grond than j ooked aroun( among the crowd in order to find the lady I had saved, but she was no where to be seen. Some of the bystanders assured me that I had got my labor for my pains, that the old man never intended to ratify his promise but only made it from mo tives of policy, and that now he had taken his departure, no one knew where, and I should have hard work to find my promised bride. And then the rude mob laughed as if they thought I had been a fool to risk my i;fe to preservc that of an entire stranger. However, 'let those laugh who win,' thought T for j know weI whcre to hunt for thc atlyj and so takinff my way to tho hotelj j threv myself into bed, and dozed the remainder of the night avray. ' Earley the next morning I was on my way to the littlecottage in the suburbs of the city, where dwelt ' the lady of my love.' I was not ong in rcaching the well-known spot where so startling an adventure once befel me, and knocking at the door, I was kindly received by the father, mother, and daughter, must "UL uaijul iu uuuuu iiur wuuout opposition. The military officer whom you saw with me ast night and who recoiled from the perils of saving; her life, claims her hand, and has a promise of long standing from me to give my consent to the measure. Npw, although I revoke that promise, you must expect trouble with him, and so you had better be prepared for it. Last night he attended my daughter l a party given at the 1 Fontiroy, but when the SllC was in the dressing story, and her retreat was cut off to tho'? rooms below, he had not courage to dare any- thing for her rescue ; and had it not been &r yur efforts, she would have perished. But look lere Jie comes now. Beware of !' 1 looked out of the window and saw him coming up the gravel walk towards the cof- tage, and at once I became convinced that ' he meditated mischief. He was dressed in! the full uniform of a captain of tho Spanish1 army, and a frown as black as midnight was 1 on his brow. As he entered the apartment be called out 'Senor, what is this low fclleio doing herd' ' He is not a low fellow, Captain Cortes,' replied the old man, firmly, 'but a brave and honorable gentleman, who has twice saved tIie of my daughter. ' I care not,' cried the officer, eternry ; if he dares presume to address your daugli ter. who is niv nrntnjKpd hridn. ho nuiRr, first ' J J. - U . U W I .W ..uw ...MM fight me,' at the same time taking a pair of duelling pistols from his pocket and laying themupon the table. ' Very well, sir,' replied I, 'if that is your game come on the green here.-' The parents remonstrated, thc daughter clung around ine, and bathed rno with, her tears ; but it was all in vaim We rushed to the green ; one, two, three we both fired and my rival fell dead ! A bullet had passed directly through his heart, while I was unharmed !' ' And then what occurred V ' 0, the affair was hushed up, the captan was buried with the military honors, and six weeks after I was wedded to the young belle of Cadiz, and took possession of a large es- tate given me by her father, where I passed the days in unalloyed happiness.' i A nil tt1ii nlci 'O, I'll tell you some other time. A breeze is sDrinffinff un. so I must cut short r..v varn ' ; Brace round the yards. In with the ton- A tJ C A ' J J '1 mast stud'n-suils !' cried the little mate, with his sharp shrill voice, and so Ned Rivers, my noble watchraate, and myself seperated to other duties, and the little brig sped mer - rily onward over the deep blue sea. A Man's Sphere. At the Womans' Rights Convention, 1 year passes without one or more receiv recently held in Akron, Ohio, Mrs. Coe, ing, wound from this insect which has in commenting upon some resolutions of-' caused a painful and speedy death. It fered by Mrs. Swisshclm, walked into the ; occurs in this wise: the female is furnished masculine gender in the following slash-', I 1 . mg st3Tle : Something has been said of the differ- bark of trees for thc purpose of deposit ed spheres in which the sexes are to her eggs. Being thus armed, it is not move, and I am glad for once to hear an ' strange that, when collected in numbers, attempt made in the resolutions of Mrs. ' and thrust into a hat upon the boy's S. to limit that of man. I have always head, she should sometimes drive her lan heard that he had a sphere, but no one cet into the scalp, producing a fatal infla before, I believe, has ever thought of mation." prescribing bounds to it. His sphere has ; Gideon B. Smith, a correspondent of hitherto been all over creation, and if by "the Baltimore American, who has made any Yankee invention he cold contrive ' personal inquiry into every case which means to get out of it would be perfectly he has seen reported a number of which legitimate. Laughter. He may not he particularizes says that in every in only engage in the most noble, but wher- stance he found the report without the ever there is a copper to be turned, may slightest foundation, or founded upon the descend to the most common and igno-' grossest error. He concludes his com ble pursuits, without encroaching in the munication hx saying least on the boundaries of the sphere of any other being. i in this matter. I have not taken all la- He may not only study and practice bor to satisfy myself, for I know it to be the professions, engaged iir extensive impossible for the insect to inflict an in manufactories and mercantile enterprises, jury upon any man or child. All insects but it is considered perfectly legitimate that really have 'a sting' afford very con fer him to descend to the minutest de-, vinciug points of the fact very promptly; tails of a lady's toilet. He may sell hair- ( the humble-bee and honey bee will speed pins, combs, brushes, thread, needles, ily convince any one that doubts, on the breast-pins, ear and finger-rings, doll-ba- slightest examination, bies, with all the et ceteras of a child's The locusts are now doiug all the inju playhouse, gingerbread, beer by the ry they are capable of by depositing their glass, and even sugar candy by the pen- eggs in the branches of trees and shrub ny's worth, if there is any money to be bery. They will all disappear by the made from it, Laughter; and it has not 25th of June. After the process of de inaptly been said of him, that if he were positing their eggs is completed they fly to have a life's lease of heaven, on con- about for a day or two and then die; be dition of being perfectly contented with ing then no longer proper food for any it, and should hear a sixpence drop on thing, the' will be found dead upon the the floor of hell, he would feel an itching ' ground in every direction. palm until he had contrived some means to slip down and pick it up. Applause and laughter.! The creed written on his young heart from the moment he leaves his mother's apron strings, is "Go get you gold, no matter how, No questions asked of the rich I trow; Steal by night and steal by day, Doing it all in a legal way; Be hvnocrite, liar, knave or fool, But don't be poor (remember the rule;) Dimes and dollars, and dollars and dimes, :n einpty pocKet is the worst oi crimes VfllUI VIIIlB AUUUl llUXIIIiBi How often a trifling incident separates friends. A dispute about nothing makes enemies oftentimes, and the most serious results have followed. Dr. King, in a work entitled "Anecdotes of his own Times "says- "I remember two gentlemen who were constant companions, disputing one even- in-atlhcGrecianCoffecHouseconcerning th? accent of a Greek word. This dis- pute was carried to such a length that the two friends thought Proper to deter- mine it with swords?' Por this purpose they stepped into Devereux Court, where acquaintance, and one Mr. h ot Bristol, both single men, and in good circumstances, agreed to travel together j for three or four years, and' visit all the countries of Europe. For that purpose they provided themselves with passports, bills of exchange, letters of credit, re commendations. &c. About six or sev- en days after they set out, they arrived at Brussels, where they had tor supper a woodcock and partridge ; they -disputed lonS which of the birds should be cut JJP first' W1f h .f. hea 3 n?""U!!S To such a height thc quarrel arose, that palace of the Marquis ' one of them, whose name, .it 1 rightly rc- motners are not, to a goou aegrce, quau- building took fire, 1 member, was Fitzgerald, was run through ( ucd to cliscuarge tne duties 01 me nome room in the sixth i the body and died on the spot. J. Ix., worK ot education. they did not only renounce their new de- jere to tnc practice, and will by no sign of traveling, but all friendship and nieans slHow their crops to be harvested correspondence. About half 9. year af- tilj tue grajn funy ripG Prejudice is tcrws&'da I happened to be in J. G,'scpm- ft tyraunical master, and no class of the pany. I asked him whether what I had community appear to bo more full under heard was true, that he and E- had a- jt3 control than our own agricultural greed to make thc tour of Europe to- elasgt jn New York, and indeed, in all gether, but had unfortuna'tely quarreled tie great wheafc growing States, the prac the first week, about cutting up a wood- tico of cutting grujn cfore it is ad cock and partridge. 1 Very true,' said prevaja universally. The exact he, (a?iddid?ou ever know such an absurd t- . ifc ai10UiW b0 harvested, is now, fellow as. J3n who insisted on cutting vp a with the gra-n pro jucing part 0f the com i(podcock before a 'partridge'1 liiunitv, no longer a matter of doubt or . A tailor in New York has jut invented fashioned coat it has neither . r opening. ' To get into it, you,' a new Eeam nor opening havo to crawl out of your trowsera, - , Will L.ociiKis Since the appearance of the seventeen year Locusts (Ciada Septcndccum) among us, the question whether they can sting has again been revived, some persons af firming, others denying that they can. We have noticed various reports of per sons having been stung by them, in some ot which the result is said to have prov ed fatal; and we distinctly remember that when they appeared in 1834, various , deaths were reported from the same cause. Without pretending to know whether they can or cannot, we give, for j cue Deneut e curious, the opinion ot lu"a ve paiu some attention to the question, and leave our readers to iillfloTi fnr f,riPniKlrC A nni-vnccnnnifnnf nf thft xm-th ,Wr,' ftf,t An ' says, i "T 'The Locust takes no food in its winjr- ; ed state ; has uo sting, properly so call ed, and with one exception is quite harm less. Yet, it should be known to the boys everywhere, thatardly a locust with a stroii sharp ' instrument called an ovipasiter, with which she scores the . . . "I have been anxious to elicit the truth : 1 would be clad it the newspapers gen- ally would copy this article or notice the facts stated, that this error in natural his- tovy may not go to our successors in the , UlllCliU lOllll lb Ilii3 UUW 1U1 t" UIOU nm assumed by obtaining thc sanction of the j Board of Health. i -"- Educate your Daughters. A wri- ! ter savs : " When I lived among the. ! Choctaw Indians, I held a consultation ' with one of their chiefs respecting thc ! arts of civilized life; and among other 'UUIlgS UU lUlUlillUU UIU tit (.141 1 mat ciuwi they fell into a great mistake they only j sent their boy's to school. They become intelligent men, but they married uned- ' ucated and uncivilized wives, and the u- niform result was,.that the children were I all like the mother; and soon the father ' lost all interest in both wife and children. 'And now,' says he, if wc could educate but one class of our children, we should choose the girls; for when they became mothers they would educate their sons.' j This is to the point, and it is true. No nation can become fully and permanent- ly civilized and enlightened, when the 1 things he informed me at their first start From the Gcrmantown Telegraph. Iflar vesting 4xi-aiia. Mr. Freas : It would seem to be al most superfluous at this late day, to urge upon our farmers the importance of cut ting grain before it becomes fully ripe: yet notwithstanding tho numerous artic les which have been written and publish- e(j upon this subicct, and the very depid- e( convicti0ns expressed by the most ju- cicious n,iHers and grain dealers in favor of eariy harvesting especially where the Srai" '"tended for bread making or 4iM1.:nfWn nrc manv who still ad ' speculation ; all being iully convinced that the right period is indicated by that change' which thc grain experiences when passing from its milky, state-Co that' of complete hardness, -and wuen the Her, nels, without being " stickey? are yet not sufficiently hard to resist the pres sure of the thumb and finger. The far ina of the grain being perfected, all that is necessary to render it fit for flouring, is the hardening of the mass; and this, it is abundantly established, may be as well perfected after the straw has been cut, as before. Beside, grain that is al lowed to stand till it is fully ripe or dead ripe, makes darker flour, and is not so heavy ; it scatters in harvesting, and does not command, in our markets, so ready a sale, or so high a price. Tho straw of grain, when itTis cut before the period of perfect maturity, is also much more valuable ; it possesses a degree of succulence and saccharine sweetness which renders it a good feed for stock ; a use to which the straw that has stood in the fields till it has become dead or perfectly matured, can never be applied. I have cut oats when thc straw was just turning from its green to its gold en hue, and have found thc grain as plump and full, and far brighter in col or, than that which had stcfod in the field till ripe. Thc straw of oats, -when har vested early, and properly cured, is nearly as valuable for cattle feeding as the best clover hay; and when, chaffed and mixed with chopped roots or meal, it makes a feed eagerly partaken of by stock of every description. A Montgomery County Farmer, John, whar's your passin' lesson! "That sentence on the black Board There go a gentleman and a scholar. "Pass There. "There are a noun of multitude, fust person sing'lar nomerative case to Go." " Very well ' go' the next. Tom makes for the doorV-Come back. Pas3 'go.' " "I was trying to go past." "Next." "Go is an insensible r'g'lar verb, fin itely mood, present tense; 1st person, go it ; 2d person go ahead 1 3d person, no go made in 2d person to agree with daddy's old grey mare understood.' "Very well ; next pass gentleman." "Gentleman arc an abstract noun, sub sta'ntive mooo, neuter gender put in op position to scholar." "Ptight ; Scholar, the next." "Scholar is an obstinate pronomical adjective, ridiculous mood, imperfect tense, fust person, because I am speak ing, and governed by a." ' m "Give the rule." "Scholars are govered by indefinite ar ticles." "Very good ; take yo'cir seats with nine merit marks apiece." "Father " said a roguish bov. "I hone j vou wont Uy any more gunpowder tea j for mother." " Whv not Vr 11 Because. every time she drinks it she blows us up." Early Poverty a. Blessing. An experienced Judge being asked what contributed to his success at the bar, re plied : "Some succeed by great talents, some by the influence ot friends, some by 1 mirace hut the majority by comment 'mcr without a shilling" Kindness Reciprocated. The Pitts- 11 i. f C f 1 burgh trazcttc, ot Saturday, says : A Mexican oman named Anastasia dc la Insidad de Mendez, who was o- bligcd to fly from her country, owing to the kindness .ynth which she had treated some sick Americans, on Inday left Pittsburg to return home. The volun- tcers in this city and the vicinity, who served in the war, raised three hunorcd dollars to defray the expenses of the trip, - Charity of a Miser. An illiterate person who always volunteered to go around with the hat," but was suspected once a hint to that effect replied ; "Oth er gentlemen put what they think prop er, and so do 1. Charity's,a private con cern, and what I give is nothing to no body." 11 Mr. Smith," said a little fellow tho other evening to his sister's beau, " I wish you would not praise our Ann Ma rias eyes any more. You've made her so proud now tha't she won't speak to cous in Laura, nor help mother the least bit." A correspondent of the "Carpet Bag," lately propounded the following to Mr3. Partington : " What would be the consequence if an irresistable force should come in con tact with an inmovablc body T" After taking considerable time and snuff, the old lady gave it as .her idea that "one or t'other of them must get hurt!" A cobbler in one of the eastern cities., thus anuo"unce3 his calling : Surgery performed here upon old boots aud shoes, by addiug to the feet, making good tho legs, binding the broken, healing the wounded, mending the constitution or supporting tho body with soles. He ia unworthy te live-, --vho Uvea onlv fo,r himself. 1
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