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The whole art or Government consists in the art op being honest. Jefferson.
STROUDSBURG, MONROE COUNTY, PA.-, WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 4, 1841.
No 24.
VOL. 2.
PRINTED AND PUBLISHED BY
THEODORE SCHOOL
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JOB PRINTING.
Having a general assortment of large elegant plain and orna
mental Type, we are prepared to execute every des
cription of
Cards, Circulars, Bill Heads, Notes,
Blank Receipts,
JUSTICES, LEGAL AND OTHER
BLANKS,
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Printed with neatness and despatch, on reasonable terms.
POETRY.
The Lapse of Time.
BY 1VM. C. BRYANT.
Lament who will, in fruitless tears,
The speed with which our moments fly.
E .sigh not over vanished years,
But watch the years that hasten by.
W Look! how they come a minded crowd
Of bright and dark, but happy days;
Beneath them, like a summer cloud,
The wide world changes as I gaze.
What! grieve that Time has brought so soon
The sober age of manhood on?
As idly might I weep at noon
To see the blush of morning gone.
Could I forego the hopes that glow
In prospect like Elysian isles,
And let the charming future go,
With all her promises and smiles.
"The future! cruel were the power
Whose doom would tear thee from my heart,
'Thou sweetner of the present hour:
We cannot, no we will not part.
jO, leave me still the rapid flight
That makes the changing seasons gay,
The grateful speed that brings the night,
The swift and glad return of day;
The months that touch with added grace.
This little prattler at my knee,
In whose arch eye and speaking lace
New meaning every hour I see;
The years that o'er each sister land
Shall lift the country of my birth,
And nurse her strength till she shall stand
The pride and pattern of the earth;
Till younger commonwealths, for aid,
Shall cling about her ample robe,
And from her frown shall shrink afraid
The crowned oppressors of the globe.
True, time will seam and blanch my brow;
Well 1 shall sit with aged men,
And my good glass will tell me how
A grisly beard becomes me then.
And should no foul dishonor lie
Upon my head when I am gray,
Love yet shall watch my fading eye,
And smooth the path of my decay.
Then haste, thee, Time; 'tis kindness all
That speeds thy winged feet so fast;
Thy pleasures stay not till they pall,
And all thy pains are quickly past.
Thou fliest and bears away our woes;
And as thy shadowy trains depart,
The memory of sorrow grows
A lighter burden on the heart.
Iead Letter Office.
The dead letter office in the Post Office De
partment at Washingionfcis a great curiosity.
The dead letters are returned to ihe General
Post Office, with the quarterly account, from
the 13,000 Post, Offices which now exist. The
envelopes are taken fijpm the packages by one
clerk, yjio ties a string around the contents and
casts them into a basket; the next clerk assorts
hem and compares them with the post bills,
endmg the letters to a clerk to he opened; on
sparring, the letters' containing valuable enclo-
sumjk are Kent lo ifae oihre where luey wereithnir walks mM tu Jlnnt
flailed, and sent to the owner if found. If not
p5medf all money is placed in a separate fund,
and the account recorded, so that it can be paid
fQ ihe owner at any future period if demanded.
Tfccy open about 250,000 letters per quarter,
there are now several cart loads in the office,
unopened, The work of opening and assort
ing is very tedious and laborious.
Raleigh Register.
The best way to keep skippers out of bacon,
;s io eat it before they get in.
r . i
Short Patent Sermon.
BY "DOW, JR."
ON THE LOQUACITY OF WOMAN.
Text.-
Nature impartial in her ends,
When she made man the strongest.
In justice, then, to make amends
Made woman's tongue the longest.
Tannahill.
My Hearers Keep your nut-crackers clos
ed, and be tongue-tied while I tongue it for a
few moments on the subject of tongues, if you
please. As regards the utility of the tongue, it
is needless to say that it is one of the most im
portant appendages of the human system. It is
designed for other uses than licking molasses
and carrying grub from one grinder to another
during the pleasantj but sometimes tedious pro
cess of mastication. Its principle office is to
form or finish Words as they bubble up in a
chaotic state, through the thorax, from the well-
spring of the heart. In society the tongue is
both a useful and pleasing member as it not
only imparts information to the unlearned, but
serves in beguiling many a wearv hour, and
aids in digesting sorrows, that sit as heavy upon
the soul as stewed horse nails upon a dyspep
tic's stomach. In its operations it should be
guided by prudence and moderation; else it be
comes a bore instead of a blessing. Some peo
ple have naturally so much loquacious steam in
their boilers, that when they once get the clap
pers to their corn mill in operation, they never
know when to stop them. Such folks, general
ly speaking, are as empty as egg shells and
softer than soap fat. A dam with a gate that's
always hoisted can hold but little water; and a
man who leaks at the mouth, can't have much
in him excepting lhat gas with which the blad
der of vanity is ever inflated.
My friends my text implies that Nature
made woman with a longer tongue than man,
in order to compensate her for what she lacked
in physical strength that, whenever the sci
ence of notification might fail in her purposes,
she might have recourse to that worst of all
weapons a long tongue; and I feel bound to
say, with regard for the delicacy of the femin
ine gender, that women's tongues are often loo
extensive for their own especial good, and for
the benefit of the community at large. If they
would only bring them into play when necessi
ty required, I wouldn't say a word; but, the fact
is, they are too apt to keep up a continual click
clack, for the sake of the music alone; and often,
too often, they upset their own tea-pots while
leveling a kick at their neighbors. Why, my
friends, I know several of the she sex in this
city who have knocked out all their front teeth
and worn away a part of their gums, by the con
tinual and everlasting working of their scandal
distributors. I know it is the nature of the
beautiful animal to indulge in meddlesome gar
rulity; and when she becomes so expanded with
gossip as to be in danger of bursting her apron
strings, I am willing she should let ofTher sur
plus atoam, provided she doesn't blow it in the
face of innocence, and to the detriment of so
cial peace. I admire, respect and love a wo
man whose looks are as mild as a moon-beam,
and whose words are as gentle as the zephyr,
which disdains to brush even a dew-drop from
the mountain daisy; but I don't like to meddle
with one whose disposition contains the essence
of lightning, vitriol, cream of tartar, and harts
horn who manufacture words by ths mile, and'
measures their meaning in a thimble. I don't
care whether there be any meaning in them or
not. I don't like it, and that's enough. All
talk and no cider as is the case with some
women arid the loco focos is unendurable; and
all talk with two much cider as with the whigs
is equally as bad. Those are my politics.
As the rain falls the gentlest from the clouds
when unattended by thunder, so, give me. a
tongue that can silently shake off the particles
of speech and let them drop calmly through the
ear into tne neart tnere to moisten and refresh
the young plants of rirtue. and cause them to
flourish, like hog weeds in a barn yard.
My friends the Dutch governor thought
wisely when he advised the girls to wear short
tongues and long petticoats; but his advice was
as water spilt upon the ground. They will per
sist in wearing long tongues and short petticoats;
and when I come to take the measure of the
difference it makes in their moral characters, I
must confess that I feel a disposition to perse
cute them with my preaching till I can let out
a hem of the latter, and cut short about four
inches of the former, with the keen-edged sword
of persuation. My dear young damspls! it is
said that the angels of heaven onlv whisner. in
and why don't you take a pattern after them, in
whose likeness you were created, and whose
. . . . -
attributes you possess, with the exception of
mat restless and never-to-be-tired-out member
the tongue? It is a sin, a shame and a pity,
that so many of our ladies, both old and young,
are addicted to such excessive talkativeness
that they ar so inclined to gad about, telling
things which ought not to he told, and leaving
untold those things which ought to be told.
There is no doubt in my mind but a strong cup
of tea contains a vast quantity of the animalcula;
of scandal; and those who drink the deepest
from it are the most given to gossiping. Old
maids, for instance, will drink bohea, of suffi
cient substance to float a pin; and they can breed
more musquitoes about town in a single day,
than the swamps of Louisiana can in a month.
Perhaps, my friends, you may say there is no
use in my preaching thus; for if a woman's
tongue is made long by Nature, she can be
guilty of no fault, but only subjected to misfor
tune. I don't mean to blame her for what she
cannot help an occasional overflow of loquaci
ty; but I want to give her a good dose of admo
nition with respect to what she talks, and how
she talks. She must recollect that words are
as slippery as live eels; and when they have
once carelessly escaped, ther may cast their
slime on white frock of Reputation, ere they
can be overtaken and captured. Slander lhat
has been gathering by degrees, like a slow thun
der cloud, bursts up at the climax of its black
ness, and unwonted sunshine immediately suc
ceeds; yet still it casts a gloomy shade for a
time over life's happy hours, and threatens de
struction, though it may accomplish but little.
My dear hearers although men's tongues
are shorter, in proportion, than those of the wo
men, and are slower in their movements, yet I
believe thay are capable of doing much harm,
and are often vulgarly, sinfully and profanely
employed. They are levers, in the mouths of
many, that assist them in putting out oaths as
big as a bushel basket, and as horrible as they
are bulky. Some men's tongues arc constantly
coated with the thick scum of vice others are
only Btained with tobacco-juice and treachery
while a few there are, that are kept perfectly
clean by the pure and unadulterated salvia of
truth and virtue. O, my dear friends, one and
all! I pray you keep a tight rein on that furious
charger, the tongue, lest it break loose in the
wilderness of unrestraint, and dash your vehi
cles of happiness down the precipice of perdi
tion; pitching hope's golden treasures into the
dark, deep ocean of despair. And oh; ye moth
ers! look into the mouths of your prattling babes,
and see whether any symptoms of the tongue
ail are beginning to be developed. Watch over
them steadily, and teach them to lisp the words
of truth and sincerity; for they may be called
into eternity in their swaddlings, and cause
black mark to be set against your names in the
book of life. Yes, the very cradles in which
they are now sleeping may turn out to be cof
fins on rockers, soon to be overspread with the
white mantle of death.
My hearers having shown you about half
the length of my tongue, the whole of woman's,
and the tip end of man s in general, I have no
thing more to say; excepting that we shall all
soon be obliged to hold our tongues in the silent
supulchre; beyond which we may indulge in
some delightful cogitations but no talking
So mote it be! N. Y. Sunday Mercury.
The Albany Microscope gives the following
recipe for making dandies: Fake a good sized
baboon, shave the hair off his face, leaving
sufficient quantity for whiskers, mustaches, im
perial, and soaplocks; decorate his "person"
with any quantity of dry goods, put a drab hat
on his head, a pair of tight high-heeled boots
on his hind feet, a "cunning little cano" in his
fore paw, a half Spanish segar in his mouth, a
five cent piece in his pocket, stuff his tail in his
pants, lake ofi his chain, set him down m "Brud
wa'-the'll pass for a squirt of tho first water.
From the St. Louis New Era, Extra, July 17.
Another Great Bank Kobbcry.
Ninety Thousand Dollars Stolen. An Ex
press arrived in town this morning, from Jack
sonville, Illinois, bringing a handbill announc
ing the robbery of tho Branch of the State
Bank of Illinois of about 90,000 dollars. We
copy it
FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS REWARD.
The Branch of the SJate Bank of Illinois at
Jacksonville, was robbed last night, Sunday,
the 11th insl. The doors were entered by false
keys. The following is the probable amount
taken by the robber, to wit: $78,000 of paper;
about $47,000 of the above was in Parent, Bank
paper, the balance mostly in notes of the
Branches and .Bank of Illinois. About $8000
in gold, and 3 or S4000 in silver. Ths abore
reward will be paid for the recovery of the mo
ney and the detection of the robber.
J. P. Wilkinson, President.
Jacksonville, July 12, 1841.
We learn in addition to what is staled that
the books, papers and evidences of debt, were
cut up, mutilated and destroyed by the robbers
for lllPff' innil linvn hr-fn V(r:iI npnn n-
fT'Wrj! Ill If . .1 li.ifnnt C I It liml'lH It . V . . w. '
was occupied as a residence, by the Teller.
A German Physician has published a medi
cal tract, in which he maintains that ladies
of weak nerves should not be permitted to aleep
alone. It is said that this book is in great de
mand. The Picayune says that the President is de
termined to have no Swartwouting among his
officers, and to prevent it has ordered all those
holding the most lucrative situations to feed on
nothing but cant-dopc melons !
From the St. Louis Gazette, July 9.
Execution of the Negroes.
Before 9 o'clock this morning (Friday, July
9) the people began to throng the city. Some
directed their course towards the gallows, which
had been erected on an island just south of Dun
can's Island, below the city; and some centred
about the jail, until Chesuut, Market and Fifth
streets, in the immediate neighborhood, were
completely thronged.
The prisoners were soon brought out in the
custody of the sheriff and several others, depu
ties and constables, accompanied by the cler
gymen who waited on the condemned to ad
minister the last warnings and consolations of
religion. At about 11 they took up their line
of inarch, attended before, behind and on all
sides by an immense concourse of people.
Thousands had already assembled on the Isl
and, but Fourth and Fifth streets now seemed
nearly filled with a solid, moving mass of peo
ple, from the jail wall nearly to the Island.
They arrived at the gallows at about half
past 12 the military look their position in the
circular area as a guard; and the officers and
clergymen, with the prisoners ascended the
platform. The prisoners were now placed in
their several positions under the gallows, dress
ed in white.
The gallows was constructed with four
sweeps on the same axle, made to swing up at
the same time, by a heavy weight on th end
opposite to those to which the several ropes
were attached.
Prayers were now offered up by the rever
end clergymen, and also by the prisoners.
Upon being asked if they had any thing to say
to the people assembled, they severally ad
dressed th crowd. Warrick spoke but a few
minutes, and in rather a low voice. He was
followed by Brown and Seward, and then Mad
ison. Seward seemed most affectad, and spoke
with more earnestness and in a louder voice
than the others.
The tone of their remarks seemed to indi
cate a sincere penitence, and they were earn
est in their warnings to their own race, and
even to white persons, to avoid the awful fate
to which their crimes had brought themselves
White caps were now drawn over their heads
and faces, and the nooses placed about their
necks, when the Sheriff proceeded to read to
each of them his several death-warrant. This
being done, the block was knocked out, and in
an instant they were swinging in mid-air. There
wa3 a convulsive struggle for a moment, and at-
ter a few minutes, they hung still in death.-
Warrick never moved after the swinging mo
tion was over, but hung with his hands closely
clasped before him.
Seward struggled violently for the first few
minutes, and Brown gave indications of life for
nearly ten minutes, but Madison seemed to die
without a pang.
The block was struck out at about a quarter
before one o'clock, and in about half an hour
they were cut down, and their bodies placed in
their coffins.
Thus ended the last act in this awful trage
dy. Thus may the guilty ever suffer the pen
alties of their crimes.
The surrounding iriass of human heads, num
bering at least ten thousand, on foot, on horse
back and in carriages, and many on board tho
steamers Detroit and Eagle, which were up
very near to the gallows,now began to disperse,
thronging the streets in every direction.
An Unhealthy City. Houston, Texas,
which was settled five years ago, has now four
thousand inhabitants; and within th same pe
riod, there have been six thousand burials! An
average of nearly four in every day in the year,
A Venerable Band of Patriots. A wri
ter in the New York Express states that there
are but fire officers of the regular Revoluliona
ry Army alive in that city, and adds that the
ages of these advances seriatim from 85 to 89,
viz: Lieut. Abraham Legget, in his 85th; Ma
jor Leonard Bleeker, in his S6th; Major Gen.
Morgan Lewis, in his 87th; Lapt. Iheodosus
Fowler, in his 88th; and Major Wm. Popham,
in his 89th. Thoy are all in good health.
" Whose brush are you cleaning your teeth
with, Bill?" asked a 'queer one' of a lad in a
store the other day. " It's your a 1 expect,
said the boy, rather sheepishly, " but I shan't
hurt it." " Well be sure you put it back where
you got it, for I cleaned my too-nails with it
yesterday, and I want to keep it for that pur-
pose Hereafter.
P's. atsd Q's.
The origin of the phrase, " Mind your P's.
and Q's." is not generally known. In alehou
ses, where chalk scores were formerly marked
upon the wall, it was customary to put these
initial letters at tho head of every man's ac
count, to bhow the number of Pints and Quarts
for which ho was in arrears; and we may pre
sume many a friendly rustic to have tapped his
neighbour on tho shoulder, when he was in
dulging too freely in his potations, and to have
exclaimed as he pointed to his score" Giles,
Giles, mind your P's, and QV Ral. Register.
The Miller.
A zealous young minister, wherl
entering on bis parish was told of a
miller, who, with more than usual of
the bravery of profaneness, had re
pelled every attempt to approach him
on the subject of religion, and had
daunted all the hopes and efforts of
the few serious persons in his vicini
ty. Among other practices of sinful
daring, he uniformly kept his mill,
the most striking object in the ham
let, going on the Sabbath. In a little
time, the clergyman determined to
make an effort for the benefit of the
hopeless man. He undertook the of
fice of going for his flour the next
time himself. "A fine mill," said
he, as the miller adjusted his sack to
receive the flour; "a fine mill, indeed,
one of the completest I have ever
seen.1' This was nothing more than
just the miller had heard it a thous
and times before: and would firmly
have thought it, though he had never
heard it once; but his skill and judg
ment were still gratified by this new
testimony, and his feelings concilia
ted even towards the minister. "But,
oh!" continued his customer, after a
little pause, "there is one defect in
it !" " What is that?" carelessly ask
ed the miller, "A very serious defect
too." "Eh !" replied the miller, turn
ing up his face. "A defect that is
likely to counterbalance all its ad-
vantages!" "Well what is it?" said
the miller standing straight up, and
looking the clergyman in the face.
The minister went on: "A defect
which is likely to ruin the mill ! '
''What is it?" rejoined the miller.
"And will one day, no doubt, destroy
the owner." "And can't you say it
out !" exclaimed the impatient miller.
"It goes on the Sabbath!" pronounced
the minister, in a firm, and solemn,
and monitory tone. The astonished
man stood blank and thunderstruck :
and remained meek and submissive
under a remonstrance and exhorta
tion of an hour's length, in which the
danger of his state, and practices, and
the call to repentance towards God,
and faith in our Lord Jesus Christ
were fully proposed to him.
Sun Stroke.
Doctor Dowler has kindly permit
ted us to make the following extract
from his medical notes, describing the
appearance of the lungs of two men
who died last week from sun strokes.
"Nearly the whole of the lungs
were dark, and injected with blood.
The central and posterior parts pre
sented the appearance of a large clot
of blood, somewhat solid and united
by a texture bearing no resemblance
to the light, elastic texture natural to
healthy lungs. On cutting off sev
eral slices, they looked like dense
black jelly, the cut surfaces appear
ing smooth and glossy. There was
no recendino of the substance before
the knife. It must have been utter
ly impermeable to air indeed on
compressing the part of the lungs so
affected, it broke into fragments like
clots. These barely swam in water,
but sunk in alcohol. Even after a
thorough soaking, they presented a
smooth surface when cut.
"Every dissection I have made,
since 1839, in these cases, confirms mc?
n the opinion which 1 then formexl.
that sun-stroke kills by apoplexr of
the lu-ngs and not of the brain. irH
Orleans Picayune.
Streeter perpetrates the following
" Ephraim, what pills ought., k
schoolmaster to take?"
"Pu-pils, sir."
Peaths in New York last w.eekl'Si