Jrffew0ttwtt I : : '.-.is.:' p The whole art or Government consists in the art op being honest. Jefferson. STROUDSBURG, MONROE COUNTY, PA.-, WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 4, 1841. No 24. VOL. 2. PRINTED AND PUBLISHED BY THEODORE SCHOOL TERMS. Two dollars per annum m advance Two dollars tuid a quarter, half yearly. ana n not paiu ueiore uie cna o nhe year, Two dollars and a half. Those who receive theii papers by a carrier or stage drivers employed by the proprie n h rhftrtrcA 37 1-2 els. per year, extra. No papers discontinued until all arrearages arc paid, except nt the option oi i--. IO Advertisements not exceeding one square (sixteen lines) will be inserted three wecksfor one dollar . twenty-five cents ciihseauent insertion : larccr ones in proportion, x liberaldisconut will be made to yearly advertisers. IO All letters addressed to the Editor must be post paid. JOB PRINTING. Having a general assortment of large elegant plain and orna mental Type, we are prepared to execute every des cription of Cards, Circulars, Bill Heads, Notes, Blank Receipts, JUSTICES, LEGAL AND OTHER BLANKS, PAMPHLETS, &c. Printed with neatness and despatch, on reasonable terms. POETRY. The Lapse of Time. BY 1VM. C. BRYANT. Lament who will, in fruitless tears, The speed with which our moments fly. E .sigh not over vanished years, But watch the years that hasten by. W Look! how they come a minded crowd Of bright and dark, but happy days; Beneath them, like a summer cloud, The wide world changes as I gaze. What! grieve that Time has brought so soon The sober age of manhood on? As idly might I weep at noon To see the blush of morning gone. Could I forego the hopes that glow In prospect like Elysian isles, And let the charming future go, With all her promises and smiles. "The future! cruel were the power Whose doom would tear thee from my heart, 'Thou sweetner of the present hour: We cannot, no we will not part. jO, leave me still the rapid flight That makes the changing seasons gay, The grateful speed that brings the night, The swift and glad return of day; The months that touch with added grace. This little prattler at my knee, In whose arch eye and speaking lace New meaning every hour I see; The years that o'er each sister land Shall lift the country of my birth, And nurse her strength till she shall stand The pride and pattern of the earth; Till younger commonwealths, for aid, Shall cling about her ample robe, And from her frown shall shrink afraid The crowned oppressors of the globe. True, time will seam and blanch my brow; Well 1 shall sit with aged men, And my good glass will tell me how A grisly beard becomes me then. And should no foul dishonor lie Upon my head when I am gray, Love yet shall watch my fading eye, And smooth the path of my decay. Then haste, thee, Time; 'tis kindness all That speeds thy winged feet so fast; Thy pleasures stay not till they pall, And all thy pains are quickly past. Thou fliest and bears away our woes; And as thy shadowy trains depart, The memory of sorrow grows A lighter burden on the heart. Iead Letter Office. The dead letter office in the Post Office De partment at Washingionfcis a great curiosity. The dead letters are returned to ihe General Post Office, with the quarterly account, from the 13,000 Post, Offices which now exist. The envelopes are taken fijpm the packages by one clerk, yjio ties a string around the contents and casts them into a basket; the next clerk assorts hem and compares them with the post bills, endmg the letters to a clerk to he opened; on sparring, the letters' containing valuable enclo- sumjk are Kent lo ifae oihre where luey wereithnir walks mM tu Jlnnt flailed, and sent to the owner if found. If not p5medf all money is placed in a separate fund, and the account recorded, so that it can be paid fQ ihe owner at any future period if demanded. Tfccy open about 250,000 letters per quarter, there are now several cart loads in the office, unopened, The work of opening and assort ing is very tedious and laborious. Raleigh Register. The best way to keep skippers out of bacon, ;s io eat it before they get in. r . i Short Patent Sermon. BY "DOW, JR." ON THE LOQUACITY OF WOMAN. Text.- Nature impartial in her ends, When she made man the strongest. In justice, then, to make amends Made woman's tongue the longest. Tannahill. My Hearers Keep your nut-crackers clos ed, and be tongue-tied while I tongue it for a few moments on the subject of tongues, if you please. As regards the utility of the tongue, it is needless to say that it is one of the most im portant appendages of the human system. It is designed for other uses than licking molasses and carrying grub from one grinder to another during the pleasantj but sometimes tedious pro cess of mastication. Its principle office is to form or finish Words as they bubble up in a chaotic state, through the thorax, from the well- spring of the heart. In society the tongue is both a useful and pleasing member as it not only imparts information to the unlearned, but serves in beguiling many a wearv hour, and aids in digesting sorrows, that sit as heavy upon the soul as stewed horse nails upon a dyspep tic's stomach. In its operations it should be guided by prudence and moderation; else it be comes a bore instead of a blessing. Some peo ple have naturally so much loquacious steam in their boilers, that when they once get the clap pers to their corn mill in operation, they never know when to stop them. Such folks, general ly speaking, are as empty as egg shells and softer than soap fat. A dam with a gate that's always hoisted can hold but little water; and a man who leaks at the mouth, can't have much in him excepting lhat gas with which the blad der of vanity is ever inflated. My friends my text implies that Nature made woman with a longer tongue than man, in order to compensate her for what she lacked in physical strength that, whenever the sci ence of notification might fail in her purposes, she might have recourse to that worst of all weapons a long tongue; and I feel bound to say, with regard for the delicacy of the femin ine gender, that women's tongues are often loo extensive for their own especial good, and for the benefit of the community at large. If they would only bring them into play when necessi ty required, I wouldn't say a word; but, the fact is, they are too apt to keep up a continual click clack, for the sake of the music alone; and often, too often, they upset their own tea-pots while leveling a kick at their neighbors. Why, my friends, I know several of the she sex in this city who have knocked out all their front teeth and worn away a part of their gums, by the con tinual and everlasting working of their scandal distributors. I know it is the nature of the beautiful animal to indulge in meddlesome gar rulity; and when she becomes so expanded with gossip as to be in danger of bursting her apron strings, I am willing she should let ofTher sur plus atoam, provided she doesn't blow it in the face of innocence, and to the detriment of so cial peace. I admire, respect and love a wo man whose looks are as mild as a moon-beam, and whose words are as gentle as the zephyr, which disdains to brush even a dew-drop from the mountain daisy; but I don't like to meddle with one whose disposition contains the essence of lightning, vitriol, cream of tartar, and harts horn who manufacture words by ths mile, and' measures their meaning in a thimble. I don't care whether there be any meaning in them or not. I don't like it, and that's enough. All talk and no cider as is the case with some women arid the loco focos is unendurable; and all talk with two much cider as with the whigs is equally as bad. Those are my politics. As the rain falls the gentlest from the clouds when unattended by thunder, so, give me. a tongue that can silently shake off the particles of speech and let them drop calmly through the ear into tne neart tnere to moisten and refresh the young plants of rirtue. and cause them to flourish, like hog weeds in a barn yard. My friends the Dutch governor thought wisely when he advised the girls to wear short tongues and long petticoats; but his advice was as water spilt upon the ground. They will per sist in wearing long tongues and short petticoats; and when I come to take the measure of the difference it makes in their moral characters, I must confess that I feel a disposition to perse cute them with my preaching till I can let out a hem of the latter, and cut short about four inches of the former, with the keen-edged sword of persuation. My dear young damspls! it is said that the angels of heaven onlv whisner. in and why don't you take a pattern after them, in whose likeness you were created, and whose . . . . - attributes you possess, with the exception of mat restless and never-to-be-tired-out member the tongue? It is a sin, a shame and a pity, that so many of our ladies, both old and young, are addicted to such excessive talkativeness that they ar so inclined to gad about, telling things which ought not to he told, and leaving untold those things which ought to be told. There is no doubt in my mind but a strong cup of tea contains a vast quantity of the animalcula; of scandal; and those who drink the deepest from it are the most given to gossiping. Old maids, for instance, will drink bohea, of suffi cient substance to float a pin; and they can breed more musquitoes about town in a single day, than the swamps of Louisiana can in a month. Perhaps, my friends, you may say there is no use in my preaching thus; for if a woman's tongue is made long by Nature, she can be guilty of no fault, but only subjected to misfor tune. I don't mean to blame her for what she cannot help an occasional overflow of loquaci ty; but I want to give her a good dose of admo nition with respect to what she talks, and how she talks. She must recollect that words are as slippery as live eels; and when they have once carelessly escaped, ther may cast their slime on white frock of Reputation, ere they can be overtaken and captured. Slander lhat has been gathering by degrees, like a slow thun der cloud, bursts up at the climax of its black ness, and unwonted sunshine immediately suc ceeds; yet still it casts a gloomy shade for a time over life's happy hours, and threatens de struction, though it may accomplish but little. My dear hearers although men's tongues are shorter, in proportion, than those of the wo men, and are slower in their movements, yet I believe thay are capable of doing much harm, and are often vulgarly, sinfully and profanely employed. They are levers, in the mouths of many, that assist them in putting out oaths as big as a bushel basket, and as horrible as they are bulky. Some men's tongues arc constantly coated with the thick scum of vice others are only Btained with tobacco-juice and treachery while a few there are, that are kept perfectly clean by the pure and unadulterated salvia of truth and virtue. O, my dear friends, one and all! I pray you keep a tight rein on that furious charger, the tongue, lest it break loose in the wilderness of unrestraint, and dash your vehi cles of happiness down the precipice of perdi tion; pitching hope's golden treasures into the dark, deep ocean of despair. And oh; ye moth ers! look into the mouths of your prattling babes, and see whether any symptoms of the tongue ail are beginning to be developed. Watch over them steadily, and teach them to lisp the words of truth and sincerity; for they may be called into eternity in their swaddlings, and cause black mark to be set against your names in the book of life. Yes, the very cradles in which they are now sleeping may turn out to be cof fins on rockers, soon to be overspread with the white mantle of death. My hearers having shown you about half the length of my tongue, the whole of woman's, and the tip end of man s in general, I have no thing more to say; excepting that we shall all soon be obliged to hold our tongues in the silent supulchre; beyond which we may indulge in some delightful cogitations but no talking So mote it be! N. Y. Sunday Mercury. The Albany Microscope gives the following recipe for making dandies: Fake a good sized baboon, shave the hair off his face, leaving sufficient quantity for whiskers, mustaches, im perial, and soaplocks; decorate his "person" with any quantity of dry goods, put a drab hat on his head, a pair of tight high-heeled boots on his hind feet, a "cunning little cano" in his fore paw, a half Spanish segar in his mouth, a five cent piece in his pocket, stuff his tail in his pants, lake ofi his chain, set him down m "Brud wa'-the'll pass for a squirt of tho first water. From the St. Louis New Era, Extra, July 17. Another Great Bank Kobbcry. Ninety Thousand Dollars Stolen. An Ex press arrived in town this morning, from Jack sonville, Illinois, bringing a handbill announc ing the robbery of tho Branch of the State Bank of Illinois of about 90,000 dollars. We copy it FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS REWARD. The Branch of the SJate Bank of Illinois at Jacksonville, was robbed last night, Sunday, the 11th insl. The doors were entered by false keys. The following is the probable amount taken by the robber, to wit: $78,000 of paper; about $47,000 of the above was in Parent, Bank paper, the balance mostly in notes of the Branches and .Bank of Illinois. About $8000 in gold, and 3 or S4000 in silver. Ths abore reward will be paid for the recovery of the mo ney and the detection of the robber. J. P. Wilkinson, President. Jacksonville, July 12, 1841. We learn in addition to what is staled that the books, papers and evidences of debt, were cut up, mutilated and destroyed by the robbers for lllPff' innil linvn hr-fn V(r:iI npnn n- fT'Wrj! Ill If . .1 li.ifnnt C I It liml'lH It . V . . w. ' was occupied as a residence, by the Teller. A German Physician has published a medi cal tract, in which he maintains that ladies of weak nerves should not be permitted to aleep alone. It is said that this book is in great de mand. The Picayune says that the President is de termined to have no Swartwouting among his officers, and to prevent it has ordered all those holding the most lucrative situations to feed on nothing but cant-dopc melons ! From the St. Louis Gazette, July 9. Execution of the Negroes. Before 9 o'clock this morning (Friday, July 9) the people began to throng the city. Some directed their course towards the gallows, which had been erected on an island just south of Dun can's Island, below the city; and some centred about the jail, until Chesuut, Market and Fifth streets, in the immediate neighborhood, were completely thronged. The prisoners were soon brought out in the custody of the sheriff and several others, depu ties and constables, accompanied by the cler gymen who waited on the condemned to ad minister the last warnings and consolations of religion. At about 11 they took up their line of inarch, attended before, behind and on all sides by an immense concourse of people. Thousands had already assembled on the Isl and, but Fourth and Fifth streets now seemed nearly filled with a solid, moving mass of peo ple, from the jail wall nearly to the Island. They arrived at the gallows at about half past 12 the military look their position in the circular area as a guard; and the officers and clergymen, with the prisoners ascended the platform. The prisoners were now placed in their several positions under the gallows, dress ed in white. The gallows was constructed with four sweeps on the same axle, made to swing up at the same time, by a heavy weight on th end opposite to those to which the several ropes were attached. Prayers were now offered up by the rever end clergymen, and also by the prisoners. Upon being asked if they had any thing to say to the people assembled, they severally ad dressed th crowd. Warrick spoke but a few minutes, and in rather a low voice. He was followed by Brown and Seward, and then Mad ison. Seward seemed most affectad, and spoke with more earnestness and in a louder voice than the others. The tone of their remarks seemed to indi cate a sincere penitence, and they were earn est in their warnings to their own race, and even to white persons, to avoid the awful fate to which their crimes had brought themselves White caps were now drawn over their heads and faces, and the nooses placed about their necks, when the Sheriff proceeded to read to each of them his several death-warrant. This being done, the block was knocked out, and in an instant they were swinging in mid-air. There wa3 a convulsive struggle for a moment, and at- ter a few minutes, they hung still in death.- Warrick never moved after the swinging mo tion was over, but hung with his hands closely clasped before him. Seward struggled violently for the first few minutes, and Brown gave indications of life for nearly ten minutes, but Madison seemed to die without a pang. The block was struck out at about a quarter before one o'clock, and in about half an hour they were cut down, and their bodies placed in their coffins. Thus ended the last act in this awful trage dy. Thus may the guilty ever suffer the pen alties of their crimes. The surrounding iriass of human heads, num bering at least ten thousand, on foot, on horse back and in carriages, and many on board tho steamers Detroit and Eagle, which were up very near to the gallows,now began to disperse, thronging the streets in every direction. An Unhealthy City. Houston, Texas, which was settled five years ago, has now four thousand inhabitants; and within th same pe riod, there have been six thousand burials! An average of nearly four in every day in the year, A Venerable Band of Patriots. A wri ter in the New York Express states that there are but fire officers of the regular Revoluliona ry Army alive in that city, and adds that the ages of these advances seriatim from 85 to 89, viz: Lieut. Abraham Legget, in his 85th; Ma jor Leonard Bleeker, in his S6th; Major Gen. Morgan Lewis, in his 87th; Lapt. Iheodosus Fowler, in his 88th; and Major Wm. Popham, in his 89th. Thoy are all in good health. " Whose brush are you cleaning your teeth with, Bill?" asked a 'queer one' of a lad in a store the other day. " It's your a 1 expect, said the boy, rather sheepishly, " but I shan't hurt it." " Well be sure you put it back where you got it, for I cleaned my too-nails with it yesterday, and I want to keep it for that pur- pose Hereafter. P's. atsd Q's. The origin of the phrase, " Mind your P's. and Q's." is not generally known. In alehou ses, where chalk scores were formerly marked upon the wall, it was customary to put these initial letters at tho head of every man's ac count, to bhow the number of Pints and Quarts for which ho was in arrears; and we may pre sume many a friendly rustic to have tapped his neighbour on tho shoulder, when he was in dulging too freely in his potations, and to have exclaimed as he pointed to his score" Giles, Giles, mind your P's, and QV Ral. Register. The Miller. A zealous young minister, wherl entering on bis parish was told of a miller, who, with more than usual of the bravery of profaneness, had re pelled every attempt to approach him on the subject of religion, and had daunted all the hopes and efforts of the few serious persons in his vicini ty. Among other practices of sinful daring, he uniformly kept his mill, the most striking object in the ham let, going on the Sabbath. In a little time, the clergyman determined to make an effort for the benefit of the hopeless man. He undertook the of fice of going for his flour the next time himself. "A fine mill," said he, as the miller adjusted his sack to receive the flour; "a fine mill, indeed, one of the completest I have ever seen.1' This was nothing more than just the miller had heard it a thous and times before: and would firmly have thought it, though he had never heard it once; but his skill and judg ment were still gratified by this new testimony, and his feelings concilia ted even towards the minister. "But, oh!" continued his customer, after a little pause, "there is one defect in it !" " What is that?" carelessly ask ed the miller, "A very serious defect too." "Eh !" replied the miller, turn ing up his face. "A defect that is likely to counterbalance all its ad- vantages!" "Well what is it?" said the miller standing straight up, and looking the clergyman in the face. The minister went on: "A defect which is likely to ruin the mill ! ' ''What is it?" rejoined the miller. "And will one day, no doubt, destroy the owner." "And can't you say it out !" exclaimed the impatient miller. "It goes on the Sabbath!" pronounced the minister, in a firm, and solemn, and monitory tone. The astonished man stood blank and thunderstruck : and remained meek and submissive under a remonstrance and exhorta tion of an hour's length, in which the danger of his state, and practices, and the call to repentance towards God, and faith in our Lord Jesus Christ were fully proposed to him. Sun Stroke. Doctor Dowler has kindly permit ted us to make the following extract from his medical notes, describing the appearance of the lungs of two men who died last week from sun strokes. "Nearly the whole of the lungs were dark, and injected with blood. The central and posterior parts pre sented the appearance of a large clot of blood, somewhat solid and united by a texture bearing no resemblance to the light, elastic texture natural to healthy lungs. On cutting off sev eral slices, they looked like dense black jelly, the cut surfaces appear ing smooth and glossy. There was no recendino of the substance before the knife. It must have been utter ly impermeable to air indeed on compressing the part of the lungs so affected, it broke into fragments like clots. These barely swam in water, but sunk in alcohol. Even after a thorough soaking, they presented a smooth surface when cut. "Every dissection I have made, since 1839, in these cases, confirms mc? n the opinion which 1 then formexl. that sun-stroke kills by apoplexr of the lu-ngs and not of the brain. irH Orleans Picayune. Streeter perpetrates the following " Ephraim, what pills ought., k schoolmaster to take?" "Pu-pils, sir." Peaths in New York last w.eekl'Si
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