Juniata sentinel and Republican. (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, August 02, 1899, Image 4

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    ROMANCE.
.Wien Flora, makes soft music.
Ana all the lltrhu are low,
And dark winds down their allay
Among the rotes blow,
I wonder In a country
Where one X used to go,
A land of vague and sweet delights
That only lovers know.
Ova bar lingers drooping .
I see her shadowy hair.
So from son dim old canvas
Might steal on twilight air
The grace that waa so lovely,
Tho face that was so fair.
That tht painter lost his eunnluc.
And the priest forgot his prajerl
I wonder If this life of onra
Repeats its sweetest woes
If under othor stars we met
The ancient evenings so,
It Flora and her listener
Only old raptnrrs know,
And in that land of strange delights
Were lovers long ago I
-Woman's Borne Companion.
!
of the Pen. I
Slip
rOnjf TnOMAS saddled np old
II nornet, put on bis "chaps," and
rode out across tbe ranee to get
the niall. Xbo nearest postofllee was
at Antelope Station, eighteen miles
over the hills, and twenty-Ore by tbe
road. Tbe Inst of tb beef-gather
waa over and tbe ranchmen bad little
to do but rido tho pastures and wait
for spring. Thnt Is, most of them.
John bad a lot to do, as be would bnrc
told you himself, for bo was to bo mar
ried on Christmas dny, and that Is why
be was so regularly riding twice a
week to the poNtolIiee.
. Over at Antelope, the telegraph-opor
ator, who acted also as station agent
and postmaster,, was sitting alono In
bis little office except the section
botiflo, tb o only bouse In sight
thinking of home and Mary
Brand. Homo was awny down
East, and Mary Brand whs Just a
black-eyed girl who did not care for
him one bit, as be well knew, for be
had asked her about It before ho started
West Hut there Is no law against
thinking of a girl even if you cannot
got her, so tbe operator thought of
Mary Brand and believed himself to
be very miserable, and piled - more
coals on the Are, though the little stove
was already red-hot And ho smoked,
and swore softly that It was a horrible
country and the superintendent had
given him tho worst station on the
whole line. He was a good boy, but
bo bad not been West long enough tc
get his bead bard. As be smoked, he
noticed that his meerschaum was color
ing up first rate, and he was much com
forted. Just when darkness succeeded tbe
dull dnyllght, snow began to fall, and
with the first flnkos came John Thomas.
He got his letters and sat down'by the
operator's tire to read them. He was
a big, comfortable follow. In marked
contrast to the discontented-looking
telegraphor, and so tbe latter thought
for bo broke tho silence with:
"I say, you soetn pretty well satisfied
with yourself. How do yon mauuge II
in a bole itko tulsJ"
"Yffung follow." said John, "tht
plains U tho finest place on earth, and
the only place left where a man can
get a start Look at me; cojuo out
nine years ago without a cent, worked
four years on the trv'1 ' " 1 three for.
Bid Baxter, Warned f ry a bran'- earl? this morning-- I sprang up ant
-hi -Is-Hn my rope ai4iew on Sunday.! fvf"" To, ijCrlhllP
thing my horse could catch, and now
Pve got a place of my own and an In
terest. in a trail-herd. What's the mat
ter with mo?"
"You're all right," admitted the boy,
"but you couldn't do It again, now
Tom Adams has got his maverick bill
through tbe Legislature."
"Don't fool yourself," suld John, "any
maverick my horse can catch la going
to get my brand on. Do you know
how many mavericks were sold for
tho benefit of the school fund on the j
fall round-up In this district? I'll tea
you. One. Ho fetched seventy-five
cents. Oh, the Jaw is all right"
The operator was interrupted In his
smoking by the click of the instrument,
and when bo had taken a train order,
tbe ptlpe was out Picking up an en
velope John had thrown down, he
thrust It into the coals; and as It flared
np, bo noticed tho postmark,
"Hullo!" said he; "Bangor Is my
town; do you know anybody in Ban
gor r
"You bet I do," said the cowboy. "I'm
going to marry the nicest girl In that
whole town, and her name Is Mary
Brand."
If old Hornet outsldo the door had
not got tired of standing there, eigh
teen miles from his supper, so that
John at that moment mnde a rush to
catch him, tho operator's dismay would
00t havo escaped notice. Ills Jaw
dropped, and the beautiful pipe fell to
the floor.
John caught his horso and beaded
aw.ay toward the ranch through the
failing snow. The operator went to
tbe key and telegraphed for a pipe to
be sent up on the II rut train. Then he
went to bed. Ho bad a bud night
John bummed a tune as bis horse
amblod along through tho dark. Not
an operatic ulr, but one of those hymn
tunes ail cowboys use on dark nights.
He was certainly happy, for he didn't
hurry his horse, nor spur him when
ho stumbled. One of tlioao letters was
from Mary Brand. She wrote she was
leaving Bangor for her uncle's home in
Denver on that day, and that John was
qot to coino down until Christmas
Eve, because there was much to do
and he "would be in the wajr." The
.other letter wns from a broker in Den
ver, and said: "Think we have a cus
tomer for your trail cows, and have
engaged for you to meet him here soma
day next week. Will ndvlse furtnei
toon." Snow wns still falling when
John reached home and turned In, re
flecting upon tbe futility of all mav
erick laws.
Snow was still falling next day. Tbt
railroad was blockaded and he could
not get to Denver on the day appointed.
The wires were down, so there was
no telegraphing. Christmas was spent
n the telegrapher's oflice, and for once
John looked as discontented as tbe op
erator. The latter took no Interest in
jolorinjr the new pipe and wrote out
his resignation ready to dispatch nf
soon as the line should bo open, an
nounclug that he wus going back to
Maine by the first train.
One of the first things sent when the
line wns open wns John's message to
Mary Brand, ut Denver, to the effect
that if the railroad wasn't shoveled
out very soon, he should start down on
foot
That operator wns a good boy, and
he sent the nies-sage straight, and when
an hour later he was called up by thr
Denver ofliee to receive the following
message to Joan Thomas about his
trail cows: "Ton need not come down.
Engagement off. Culver Bros.," be
was atm without guile. Bnt his heart
waa fall of Mary Brand AU day tbt
wires had been singing Mary Brandt
tbe key bad been clicking Mary Brand.
Small wonder when be took tbe pad
of yellow paper and wrote oat tbe mes
sage, be made one small slip he really
didn't do it. It did Itself. . '
"Ton need not come down. Engage
ment off. Mary Brand." Is the way It
read when John received It
If this were not a true story. It might
be written that John went In person
and demanded an explanation. What
be really did was to write a note sug
gesting tbe return of his letters. And,
Mary being a black-eyed girl, he got
them by return malL .
Mary Brand went borne. The ranch
man returned to the winter vocation of
riding the pastures and waiting for
spring. Tbe operator took an early
train for down East If he ever knew
what he Jiad done be kept his own
counsel and renewed his salt
So Mary married the operator, and
being a black-eyed girl she makes him
a good wife. Q. B. Dunham, In San
Francisco Argonaut
Feat of a Stenographer.
A correspondent of the London Tele
graph relates tbe following concern
ing Thomas Allen Keed. an expert
stenographer, whose death was recent
ly reported: Reed was once on profes
sional business In Liverpool, and stayed
In the same hotel as Charles Mathews,
the actor. The bitter bad appeared In
"My Awful Dad," and after the per
formance be strolled Into the smoking-room.
Having beard of Mr. Reed's
exiertno8s as a note-taker, Matbewa
challenged the reporter to Jot down
certain passages from the character
of Puff In Richard Brtnsley Sheridan's
"Critic." Reed expressed bis wllling
uess to have a try. Mathews, who was
one of the I .?st "patter" speakers on
the stage, began to gnbble tbe lines
with startling rapidity, and tbe other
tr:Uned every nerve to follow him.
When the test was finished Reed,
whose notes, despite the terrific speed
at which he had been writing, were of
neat and legible outline, merely Insert
ed a vowel mark or two and handed
them to an assistant who was called
into the room, and who transcribed tbe
characters with but few mistakes,
backwards! "I should hardly have
thought it possible, Mr, Reed!" was
tbe astonished Charles Mathews' com
ment
It Urew on Sunday.
In a country town not far from New
York an old-fashioned preacher had ex
horted his flock one Sunday not to read
the Sunday newspapers. On the fol
lowing Monday he was strolling
through the mnrket place when b
spied some unusually fine asparagus
a vegetable of which he was almost
gluttonously fond. In the stall of one
of bis parishioners.
"Mr. Smith," said the parson, "I will
buy some of your asparagus If It is not
too dear."
Now, Smith was a confirmed readei
of his. Sunday newspaper, and the ser
mon had not pleased him at alL lit
decided to play a Joke on his pastor.
Moreover, be bad sold bis asparagus
already, though be said not a word
about that
"I am sorry, doctor," said the crafty
Smith, "but I would not like to hav
It on my conscience that I sold yoc
such 'grass' as that"
"What Is the matter with it 7" ex
claimed the preacher. In surprise. "I
never saw finer."
"Oh, It's aU right that way," salt!
Smith, "but, yoojiee. I picked Jt onlj
REQUIRES JOLLY MEN.
Undertakers Moat Be Good-Matured ta
Stand the Constant Strain.
An undertaker who does business np
town who Is fat and 1ollv and who
Wo tv. ovwi thinoa nr ur .rwi Mn I
laugh until bis sides shake at a Joke,
bared his leg In the coollng-off room
and showed a lot of black and blue
marks Just above the knee. "That's
where I pinch myself to stop laughing
at some funerals," be said. "Yon know
that the undertaker, of all people, it
not permitted to even smile at tbe last
services of the dead and the fun-loving
element In my nature often gets the
better of me, even at funerals, so that
to keep a long face I Just grab my leg
at the length of my arm and pinch until
I ache. Sometimes the pain brings
actual tears to my eyes and the folks
around me, I suppose, think I am
mighty susceptible, and so I am. bu
nor to sorrow.
"I got these big marks, you see, da
before yesterday at the funeral of an
old-timer In my ward whom I had
grown up with from school days. He
was one of the meanest men thut evei
lived. He was too mean to belong to
the church, and they had to get a Pres
byterian preacher to say a word over
him, for the priest wouMu't and when
that good man talked about the many
virtues and good deeds of the dead and
pictured him going round the world
with charity and kindness, I thought I
would go into a fit. Five pinches In
all, good strong ones, I gave myself,
and then I had to luave my place along
side tbe box when I Ininglncd I sav
the dead man winking at me.
"My friends tell me I ought to get out
of tbe business, but I hold that It needs
a jolly, good-naturtd fellow like me to
stand the constant strain of. being al
ways in the mix with sorrow an J
tears." Brooklyn Times.
Why lie Didn't II ply.
It Is not always easy to be polite.
Witness this from the Chicago Post:
"Why don't you answer?" said mad
anu, impatiently, to the Scandinavian
on the sti ;-l;iilcler engaged In putting
up new window fixtures.
The man gnlped and replied gently:
"I have my mout' full of screws;
not can sr-eak till I svoller some."
Needed Everywhere.
"Sv.-li.-gs has Invented another kiut
of metal street car fender."
"What is it?"
"He wears it over his kneen to koej.
people from stepping on bis toes."
Puck.
An Areament.
"The minister asked me bow I couli'
defend the practice of skating on Sun
day."
"What did you say?" .
"I said it might thaw on Mondays
Tuck. Gambling In England.
In the latest history of gambling In
England, there are some astonishing
revelations as to tbe amount of money
won and lost by men and women whose
names were as familiar as household
words early In the present century.
There are records of $200,000 having
been lost at a sitting, and the loss of
$50,000 appears to have been a very
common occurrence.
A dynamite explosion will attract
more attention than the bursting of tht
buds In springtime; growth Is quiet
tut none the less powerful. .
F0I1 LITTLE FOLKS.
COLUMN OP PARTICULAR lit
TERE3T TO THEM.
tasaetalaa; that Will latere the Jaw
enlla Me bars of Every Hoaeehela
-Qaatas Actlsnaand Bright Saylanw
f Mmmy Cats aad Canning Chlldreau
Sefore they had arithmetic, ,
Or telescopes, or chalk,
r blackboards, maps and copybooks
When they could only talk;
Sefore Columbus came to show
The world, geography,
What did they teach tbe little boys
Who went to school like me?
rhrre wasn't any grammar then.
They couldn't read or spell.
Tor books were not Invented yet
I think 'twas Just as well.
rhere were not any rows of dates.
Or laws, or wars, or kings,
Dr generals, or victories,
Or any of those things.
rhere couldn't have been much to learn;
There wasn't murh to know,
Twas nice to be a little boy
Ten thousand years ago!
for history bad not begnn.
The world waa very new.
and in the schools, I don't see what
The children had to do.
Sow, always there Is more to learn
How history does crow!
Ind every day they find new things
They think we oaght to know.
ind If It ranst go on like this,
I'm glad I live to-dny,
?0r boys ten thousand years from now
Will not have time to play.
Charier' Frisks.
Little Charley Frost lived In tht
sountry, and, though eight years old
( am sorry to say he was afraid to lx
alone In the dark.
One evening bis mother sent hln
with a message to his uncle, who llvec
at tbe other side of tho field. Tbe moon
was shining so brightly that sh
thought ber little boy would not fee'
afraid.
When be was half way across tht
Held the moon bid herself behind I
jloud, and Charley stood quite still nnf
trembled. He could see something hit
moving In front of him, which lookec
like a giant with his arms stretcbet
aut So he turtied round to run home
. Then Charley thought to himself, "1
will not be afraid. I'll Just shut mj
yes, and run past as quickly as I can.'
And so be did. When hu stopped run
ninsv'and opened bis eyes, tbe moot
was'qulte bright once more, and Char
ley saw what do yon think? A big
tree with Its spreading branches!
"Ha! ha! bar' laughed Charley. "I'
Is only that dear old tree after all. llov
illy I was to be afraid."
Chances Hie rhell Often.
When Mr. Lobster Is a little fellou
'0 eats and grows Just as fast as he
nn, Just like babies of any kind and
lie first tiling he knows his suit oi
.'lothes, which is a bard shell. Is toe
mall for him, so he cracks It across tin
jack and crawls out This Is a pretty
inrd Job, for his limbs run down dev;
nto the big claws and bis eyes stick
rat on tbe ends of queer little ropes sc
le can look backwards and two o
Jiree other wnys at once.
When his tender body. Is out of thf
ihell be hides as quickly as be can tin
ler the dark corner of a rock for ht
Knows that If another lobster comes
Uong be will bo eaten. MiivIh he lost
t limb or two in getting out of his old
rait, but If he did ho Is uot worried
Jut goes right to work to grow a new
ne, turns bis stomach Inside out anil
rets a now lining on It and then growt
l new shell as quickly as he can.
Trap-Poor Spider
A curious species Is that of the trap
joor spiders, whose nest consists of t
tube excavated In the earth to the
depth of six or eight Inches. It is al
ways lined with silk and It Is closec
with an Ingeniously constructed door
One sort of door closes Into the nest
like a cork In a bottle; another Is a
thin as a piece of pnier.
In all cases the door opens outward
and when the nest Is placed, as It us
nally Is, on a sloping bank. It oMn
apward so that there Is no fear of Id
gaping. The objuct of the trap-door It
to conceal tbe nest and consequent!?
It Is always made to resemble tbe gen
oral surface of the ground. Sometimes
however, an enemy attempts to opei
the door; and then the Inmate brace:
Its legs a gainst the sides of tbe nest
and holds It as fast as possible.
StlU other spiders have Inner doon
besides tbe outer, -so that if their Innei
defense be carried, they may have an
other behind which to retreat. Mon
curious still is the Ingenuity of th
branch trap-door; that Is to say. a dooi
that enters from the main tunnel of tin
nest into a side branch, which the sp:
der knows, of course, but wbleli r.
stranger could discover, since there Is
nothing to distinguish It from any oth
er part of tbe main nest So, then. If
an enemy should effect entrance, the
lawful occupant of the nest can quiet
ly slip Into tbe side branch, shut tit
door, and there remain in security
while the Intruder wonders what har
'leconiava-t bar
Can Tea Do It
Two farmers came to a grocery to got
Mine oil. One. of them had an elght
rallon and the other a five-gallon can.
Each one wanted Just four gallons of
ll, but the grocer's measures had all
aeeu stolen except one of three gallons,
tnd he did not know bow to measure
t out for them. As four and four
siake eight. It was easy enough to first
111 tbe eight-gallon can, but how to get i
Inst four gallons of that Into tbe flve
rallon can was a hard problem, b-.it at
ast, after the three men bad spent the
ong afternoon In trying they did It,
islng only the three measures of eight
Ive and three gallons each. See if you
nn0t solve It Yon do not have to
ise gallon cans. Quart measures or
pints will do Just as well, of course.
Tratha for Otrla.
Neatness of dress first and style may
atm as aa after thought
I
I
Ilrep
n?
0
And Is it not due to nervous
exhaustion? Things always
look so much brighter when we
are In good health. How can
you have courage when suffer
Ing with headache, nervous
prostration and great physical
weakness?
Would you not like to be rid
of this depression of spirits?
How? By removing the
cause. By taking
It gives activity to all parts
that carry away useless and
poisonous materials from your
body. It removes the cause of
your suffering, because it re
moves all impurities from your
blood. Send fcr cur book on
Nervousness.
To keep in good health you
must have perfect action of the
bowels. Ayer's Pills cure con
stipation and biliousness.
KMls) to ow Oootorm.
frlwM too woul.l like to eonralt
torn, eminent phjr.lrlana about your
condition. Tbon wrlto na froely nil the
articular ta jenr . Toe will ra.
Ive a prompt reply, without roat.
ASdreaa. OB. 4. c. AVER.
Si
t Lowell.
How many thoughts a day for moth
sr's comfort do you give?
Never mind about the dimples if
here's sunshine In your smile.
At least one little act of kindness a
lay and an easy pillow at night
One frown a day when she's In her
seens will wrinkle a girl's forehead
Ike a crone's by the time she Is 20.
Try making yourself as agreeable to
rour brother as If he were some other
rlrl's brother. It will pay to win bis
oyish confidence.
RECENT INVENTIONS.
Small rooms can be heated by a gas
let with the use of a new apparatus,
which rests on tbe shade and Is of cir
cular shape," with a revolving fan at
tbe top operated by tbe heat from the
Same to set the air of the room In mo
tion. A Kansas Inventor has designed a
new form of wind wheel, having horl
contal rods arranged radially from a
vertical shaft, with a pair of partially
folding wings on each rod, which open
when moved with wind and close when
going against It
Mattresses are replaced for summer
use by a new ventilated bed bottom,
which Is formed of spring frames set
it tbe proper distance apart to rest
n tbe side rails, wltb braces to hold
them rigid, a suitable fabric being
itretched over tbe frames..
The lower brace on the chain side of
t new bicycle frame Is used as a gear
m8e. the single tube being replaced by
i flat casing, with channels formed of
he top and bottom to cover the chain
ind heads at either end, which sur-.
round tbe sprocket wheels.
An improved automatic bicycle pum
is clamped directly to the center of the
Bub, with a lever at one end which en
zages an adjustable screw at every
revolution of the wheel to operate a
ptston and force the air into the tire,
:he bead of the screw being within
reach of the rider without disinount
ng. In a new wrench the revolving
sleeve, which adjusts the movable Jaw
:o fit the nut. has notches cut In the
rear edge, with two spring fingers on
:ho handle, which are held open while
the sleeve Is In motion and engages
the notches to prevent the Jaw becom
ing loose when tightened.
Taste Sens tl us.
There are only four simple taste sen
atlons namely, sweet bitter, sour and
tnlt It Is said by some that there are
mly two, sweet and bitter. All other
teusations which are commonly called
Mstcs are complex results of sensations
f smelt touch, temperature and sight.
The means by which we distinguish al
nost all of our common food and drinks
s not the sense of taste so much as It
s the sense of smell, touch, tempera
:ure and sight AU the fine differences
y which we distinguish the various
'rults, meats and drinks depend not
lpou taste at all, but upon these other
lenses. A proof of these facts may be
riven by merely blindfolding the eyes
ind closing tbe nose and taking vari
us kinds of foods and drinks into tbe
nouth without swallowing them. It
.vill then be found that It Is quite im
possible to distinguish many of the
commonest foodn nnd drinks. It Is, of
ourse, generally known that what Is
Ktpularly mistaken for tbe taste of
offee, tea and wine Is only their
iroma,
Expr sa Trolley O ira.
The Pittthurg trolley lines run ex
press cars. There are large sliding
loom in the sides through which ex
press packages are received and de
livered at any point on the line. Auto
mobile delivery wagons wait at various
points and scurry about from bouse to
house Immediately upon the arrival of
tbe express cars, the work of trans
shipment being rushed through with
out delaying regular passenger traffic
Popnlntlon of Ontario.
Tbe population of the province of On
tario Is estimated at 2.200.000. Tbt
principal cities are: Toronto, with 183,
172 people; Ottawa, 63,727: Hamilton
50.035; London, 38,224; Kingston, 18,
O0; Brantford, 1034; Windsor, 11..
315; St. Thomas. 11,021; Ouelpb, 10.
741; Stratford. 10.531; Belleville, 10,
339; St Catharines, 10,144; Chatham
3,788.
Never doubt a woman's word when
she says she can't sing. It's tea to
one she la telling the truth.
1&A
Maaa. If
TRUMPET OALUfc
Bora Sonata a Waralagt
to the Pnredssaaaa
i OW, means to
day; not to-mor-.
row.
Honesty la
Christ In the
office.
Holiness la
C b rl s t In the
heart
The pleasures of
sin are brief and
soon bitter.
While In Rome, do as the Romans
ought to do.
The granite column Is no less strong
because polished.
Some people who are supposed to be
patient, are simply buy.
The wheel runs away with Its rider
when It Is used to break God's law.
What kind of a material are yon fur
nishing for your funeral sermon?
The devil In tbe church Is far more
troublesome than tbe one outside.
The misery of poverty is nothing
compared with tbe misery of envy.
We must have a word with Jesus be
fore we can give a word for Jesus.
The wiliest move of the devil Is ta
persuade men that there Is no devil.
Personal slander Is no answer to a
truth that troubles a guilty conscience
Tbe power of an Idea Is not to be
measured by the noise of Its utterance.
We always count him a wise man
who knows ns little as we do ourselves.
When will man learn that It Is at
wicked to lie In a creed as In a horse
trade?
Tbe world is generally willing to pay
mora for what it wants, than for what
It needs.
It takes more grace than many pos
sess to forgive a neighbor for being
successful.
It seems that evolution has ascertain
ed that the Garden of Eden was a
monkey garden.
No man will get across the Jordan
and Into the city on tbe back of bb
five yoke of oxen.
When you do a good deal don't spot
It by bunting through the newspaper!
for a notice of It
There are Christians who want a
sword of the Spirit that can be twister?
into a corkscrew at wilL
The bid who gave Christ his five
loaves and fishes, did more than If ht
had bought them all bread.
The difference between "saying pray
ers" and praying, Is the difference be
tween superstition and Christianity.
Some folks go Into a revival as oth
era go fishing, not that they value what
is caught but tbey enjoy the catching
Tbe preaching of the minister doe
not make the church's reputation sc
much as the practicing of the congre
gation. All They Could Hope For.
Dean Redding was a man of a re
markably cheerful and hopeful turn of
nind. His wife, on the other hand,
look things very seriously, and bad no
uiiall difficulty In accommodating ber
telf to the peculiarities of ber neigh
Dors when, as not nnfrequently hap
pened, they differed from ber own.
Life cites an anecdote Illustrating these
pposite traits of character In the bus
sand and wife. -
Shortly after tbe dean had moved to
i new parish In the Woking district,
the worthy woman had been out call
ng among the poor parishioners.
"John," she cried, returning home In
l state of mental agitation, "what do
you think tbey say of Mrs. Reiley, the
butcher's wife?"
"I'm sure I do not know," responded
the sagacious husband, too discreet to
hazard a rash opinion. "I'm sure I
Jon't know. What? Nothing serious,
I hope?"
"Tbey say they can tell when sbo's
(oing to have company by her washing
:he children's faces! Now, you're a
pretty sanguine man, John, but what
in earth can you hope for of a woman
like thatr
"Well," he answered, with something j
like, a sigh, to hide the humor which
io wise husband cares to show In con
ildering the difficulties of his wife, "I
uipo8e all we can hope for is that she
entertains a good deal."
His Brain Was Very Large.
Professor David Ilauseniann, of Ber
(in, examined the brain of Hermanii
Von Helmholtz at the time of thai
great physician's death by apoplexy In
at tbe age of 74, and Just now
his report has been reproduced In tbe
British Medical Journal. The circum
ference of the head was fifty-nine and
that of the skull fifty-five centimeters.
Helmholtx's head was about equal In
size' to that of Bismarck, and rather
smaller than that of Wagner, both of
whom had big hoads. We are told
that like Cuvler, Helmholtz was some
what byorocephalic In youth. It has
been maintained by some authorities
that hydrocephalus in early life may
be an advantage, inasmuch as It en
larges the skull and gives the braio
space for growth.
An Excellent Combination.
The pleasant method and beneficial
effects of the well known remedy,
Strup or Fins, manufactured by the
California Fio Svrtjp Co., illustrate
the value of obtaining the liquid laxa
tive principles of plants known to be
medicinally laxative and presenting
them in the form most refreshing to the
taste and acceptable to the system. It
is the one perfect strengthening laxa
tive, cleansing the system effectually,
dispelling colds, headaches and fevers
gently yet promptly and enabling one
to overcome habitual constipation per
manently. Its perfect freedom from
every objectionable quality and sub
stance, and its acting on the kidneys,
liver and bowels, without weakening
or irritating them, make it tbe ideal
laxative.
In the process of manufacturing figs
are used, as they are pleasant to the
taste, but the medicinal qualities of the
remedy are obtained from senna and
othor aromatic plants, by a method
known to the California Fie Syrup
Co. only. In order to get its beneficial
effects and to avoid imitations, please
remember tbe full name of the Company
printed on the front of every package.
CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP CO.
aw? wmAVCXSOO. OAX
Mtiiivau it rw Tomx, w. t.
for sals tau Droggista. Price SOc per Sottas
rT- cms
HAD NOT SEEN MANILA.
a-. Salter Detected by Lactnraa at
she Mat Paaaraaaa.
Since Manager Senaffer of the battle
of Manila panorama threw open hla
doors to soldiers and sailors "in uni
form" tome funny complications have
arises. Both warriors and Jack tars
have ben personated by men who have
borrowed "regulation" clothing, but
who havo little further title to be rank
ed as "heroes" and "nation's defend
ers." One day a stout-looking specimen In
the flowing trousers and unsatisfac
tory cap of the sailor walked gayly
past the door, hitching his hlpa and
skipping In the most approved Ralph
Rackstraw fashion. And no one said
him nay.
But the lecturers up on the platform
are both sailor men. Both served
through the battle of Manila bay, and
while they welcome genuine "mates
they are severe on the sham. They de
tected citizen's clothing under the navy
blue flannels of the visitor and spotted
him.
"Hello, mate. What ship you fromr
asked one.
"Oregon," was the ready reply.
"Oh, then, this scene Is familiar to
yon," and the lecturer waved his hand
broadly at the Cavlte arsenal, the
Lunetta battery and rock Coregldor.
"Yn-as." was the slow response, as
the bogus bluejacket turned from poln
to point n
There's the entrance to the bay,
continued the crafty veteran.
"Yo-as, I know."
"Place look familiar?"
"Ya-as. That's Manila, ain't Mr'
He had taken a long shot, but the
guess waa a good one.
"Yep."
"Oh, ya-as. And that's Havana.
He felt encouraged. He went farther.
"And that's Santiago. Aw? There's
the Iowa, ain't It?"
"Forrad of the Baltimore 7
"Ya-as."
"That's her. You came In port side
of Luzon and Just abaft the blnacle, I
s'poseT'
"Ya-as-somethln' like that"
"With Morro castle on your poop
deck and general quarters In tbe hal
yards?"
"I-don't-Just remember."
"Oh, yes, you do. Don't yon recollect
and the main hatch on the lookout
for Sangley point, while the gunner's
mate rowed ashore In the galley?"
That last sounded possible, so the
victim plucked up courage and re
sponded radiantly:
"Tea, by Jove, that's so. But where
did Hobson come in?"
"Why, can't you see? Over there In
Bakor bay, with the gunner oh the
rapid-fire lanyards and the elght-lncb
searchlight goln' ahead half-speed on
tbe plum duff bow. See, where the
signal code Is a-tralMng for the mines?
I thought you'd recognise it. Right
for'rd there's where Montejo made a
moss call and lost the pot See tbe
stanchions stondin' to tbe guns? That's
where tbe McCulloch made a rapid fire
with her smoke stacks, you know, and
a cutter went Into the searoom with a
stop cock on her starboard anchor.
Yes, Indeedy! You fellows on the Ore
gon did great things with Dewey at
Manila. That's him down there with
tbe grip on his cable glasses and a
weather eye out for the spanker boom.
But did you "
"I guess I'U be going," said tbe bogus
one, for he was not comrortawe.
"Why, stay and see the show. When
a man can mix up Santiago and Ha
vana and old Cavlto In one "
"Oh, It's a good thing enough, bnt
I've got a friend waiting "
"But you haven't heard the lookout
on tbe hold up aloft You haven't seen
tbe Marlvales range down along the
bumboat to the bridge over the sick
bay. You haven't "
He had followed tbe shame-faced
pretender to the stairs, and there the
man in unaccustomed blue whrrled and
ran like a quarter horse post tbe curios
from the Philippines and never felt
safo till he gained tbe land-locked har
bor of a Van Buren street lodging
house. Chicago Chronicle,
SETTING EVEN FOR A SLIGHT.
Doctor's Wife Take Eweat Revenge
on a Foclety Leader.
A medical correspondent writes: "A
patient of mine, Mr. C, a solicitor, hav
ing given up the active exercise of bis
profession, retired some twelve years
ago with bis wife to tbe country. He
was made welcome by the surround
ng gentry, and was soon on friendly
terms with all except the 'county set'
Recently my patient's wife received,
for the first time In twelve years, a call
from a Mrs. X., who regarded herself
as tbe leader of the county society.
After making a few vague remarks, ap
parently excuses for the long demy in
calling, Mrs. X. boldly came to the
point and asked for a subscription to
ber voluntary schools. Mrs. C. agreed
with enthusiasm and at once wrote a
check and handed it to her visitor. 'So
glad to help you I I hope you will find
this right but I have a poor head for
figures; If It Is wrong please correct
me. It has taken you a Ion? time to
Ret here; I Imagine it will take you as
long to get back! I have, therefore,
postdated tbe check somewhat so that
there may be no difficulty In getting It
ileared! Good-by. The check was
lated March 24, 1011!" London Chron
icle. The more a man knows, the less he
doubts, and the more he keeps still
about It.
Albert Bnrrh, West Toledo, Ohio, Mn:
"Hall's Catarrh Cure aaved my life." Writ
turn for particular. Sold b rirueirlafat. U
Deep streams move with silent ma
jesty; shallow brooks babble over
every tiny stone.
Mrs. Window Soothing Syrup for children
teethiiift, (often the (rams, redncina; inflamma
tion, allay pain, enres wind colic, 2oc a beetle
Fire and sword are slow engines of
destruction in comparison with the
babbler.
Pi bo's Cure cured me of a Throat and Luna
trouble of three years standing. -E. CajT.
Huntington. lnUKor. 13. ISM.
Life is made up of sunshine and sha
dow about five shadows to one sun
shine. BdaeataYsa Bee els Wlta
Candy Cathartic, ears constipation fore re.
tDcao. It C q O. fau. drossisM ret nnd ainaas
An Imitation, though It may excel
the original, can never take the place
of It.
enaraataed labaoeo habit an. i
Dmsireasiaod pure, Mo,L Ailaruccista
Adversity gives the great man a
chance to show how great he is,
A man always reveals his charac
ter In due time, put him where you
will.
I I Bast Cow ayrajjsiiiaaooa, TJI I
The sea-shore is not the only place where the
children's clothes wear out with no apparent reason.
When they come from the wash with the colors faded
and streaked and worn spots showing where there
should be no wear, then something is being used besides
Ivory Soap. You can save trouble and expense by using
it and nothing else. The lengthened life of one garment
will more than pay for the soap.
IVORY SOAP 994M PER CENT. PURE.
SQUELCHED THE WOMAN.
She Bad Corrected Bia Pronunciation
and Ha Took Revenge.
He was one of the people who rather
pride themselves on being oblivious to
the finest distinctions of language. - He
had once lived in the.Itocky Mountains
for a short time, and tbe border novel
a Hon info hln avstem. She. on the
other band; was alertly punctilious and
sometimes overbeanug in uer uim-i
knowledge.
"The ruin of Spain," he remarked
casually, "has been that word nian
anner.' "
"You mustn't say mananner," she
observed, gently. "It should be pro
nounced 'manyana.' "
"Oh, should Itr And there was a
world of sarcasm in bis tone. "It ain't
spelt that way."
"That makes no difference. It is pro
nounced as I tell you."
He changed the conversation.
"Politics has been right exciting this
year," he observed.
"I see you prefer the singular verb,
notwithstanding tbe fact that the form
of tbe noun is pluraL"
"Do ir
"Certainly. You say politlcs has. "
"Oh, yes. I Just came from a small
town In Mississippi. They have only
no kind there."
"I take a great Interest in political
celebrities. I once had the pleasure of
shaking hands with Mr. Mark Hanna."
"Mark Hanna?"
"Certainly."
"Oh, yes," he proceeded, with an un
forgetf ul glitter In his eye. "You mean
Mark Hanyer. I chanced to come
across him once. He was eating banan
yer. And, by the way, would you mind
sitting down at the pianyer and playing
something In your own exquisite man
yer?" "What shall I play 7" she gasped.
"Oh, well, let it be something patriot
ic. Let it be Tbe Star-Spangled Ban
yer. "
And then be settled back in his chali
and looked Inanely happy. Washing
ton Star.
SECRET OF THE HIGH DIVE.
Trainer af Ctrcaa Oysaaaata Telia Haw
tbe Trick la Done.
"About the first thing that I teach my
pupils," said a trainer of circus gym
nasts, "la how to fall. That, you know,
hi the secret of tbe great 'head dive'
from the roof, which remains up-to-date
the greatest invention hi the way of
gymnostio tricks that the world has
seen."
"It looks almost too perilous to be In
teresting," I ventured.
"But It bj not In the least dangerous.
If one only knows how to fall," he con
tinued. "Now, if the untrained perform
er should attempt to fall In a net from
any height whatever he would be al
most sure to break some bones. Should
he stretch out his arm to save himself,
he would be very likely to break It in
two places. Should he light on his
heels, he might break his leg, or, more
likely, pitch forward and break his
Jaw. But Just fill your lungs with air
and hold them full, double yourself up
Into a knot, leaving no limb free, and
fall on the back of your shoulders Just
above the shoulder blndon nd
fall from what height you like and
come to no hurt. This explains the
cannon and catapult tricks. Why, once
we attempted the catapult trick In a
hall where the roof was so low that we
had to sink the catapult below the floor.
The gymnast for nil .k,
r -- uwui. uutUlg
bis net lowered a corresponding dls-
. nwu boot, ido reet rorward
and upward at th nnm
- wuiv uiuu l
be come down nnderneath the net and
ana smp-Dang on his shoulders on the
bare floor? We nlrL-od ti .
. -" mi, ivr urau,
ou may hardly believe me. but It had
only knocked the wind out of him and
shaken him no a hit Tk. .
he was performing as usuoJ. That Just
" " "e muscles or the shoul
ders, together with an elastic cushion
or air la the Inn era a-in ...i w,
wa icdiou Alien.
f "f' ,n the " of gymnasts, the
muscles become as hard as Iron and f ur-
un a great protection for the bones."
RUPTIIDIT
Care Guaranteed bv r D .
1015 ARCHS-F.PrRi.-pf -MAYER.
no operation w deli IJrfb. fA" once'
?ir-K"d't.o. Phvi.on,,.u,'!f:
hoii ZlSnil ""u. 8nd Circular. 5ffi
Not hi TUT ono-ao-A. . . .
aal taiiTTr9 "T forever, be ma
iTrT CT' ,Dm " eak sua
BtUamumZtSTl 7Z7vm mtL Address
waruai B say Co., Cnioam a Haw, vb
If somebody would only null t h.
sled uphill for us Ufe would hi 15
long, delightful slide" one
A kind heart Is a fountain of elad-
Whan You Want tTuik 0 the Bright Side of Things,
Use
APO'LIO
aTV TMK MsOCTCM ft OMtBU CO. OssstMttMATl
Oyster-Shell Window Glass.
In Manila, where there Is an Interest
Ing field open to tbe naturalist, the na
tives have a queer substitute for glass
It Is a bivalve shell of about nine
Inches of surface, so transparent thai
print can readily be seen through It
and admitting a mellow light In a roon
where it Is used as a window glass.
The shell Is an attractive object, pr
fectly straight, and In appearance re
sembles isinglass. One would almoin
Imagine that it was some skillful In
vention of tbe natives, could not the
growth rings be readily observed. Tht
outer side of the shell is pen-eptlblj
rough, while the Interior Is porfertlj
glazed over, and In the light has the
pearly lustre found In many of tbt
thin-shelled, oyster-like uiollusks ofth
tropics. . The shell Is the "riac-uga pla
centla" of science, and Is well knowt
In China, the common name being tht
Chinese window oyster. It is em
ployed there also for windows, anc
used in lanterns. The Chinese grinc
np tbe shell and make from It the nil
ver paint so common in their water
colors.
Are You Using Aran's Foot Caa?
It is the onlr. cure for Swollen,
Smarting:, Tired, Aching, Burning,
Sweating Feet, Corns and Kunlons.
Ask for Allen's Foot-Ease, a powder to
be shaken Into the shoes. Sold ly all
Druggists. Grocers and Shoe Ktores,
25c. Sample snt FRKE. Address, Al
len S. Olmstead. Leltoy. N. Y.
A suspicious nature suspects other
people of being suspicious.
Fits permanently cured. No fits or nervous
neu after first day's use of Dr. Kline's Great
Nerve Restorer. M trial bout? and treatise free.
DR. R. H. Kukb, Ltd. 881 Arch St., fhiln. Fa.
A woman thinks she loves nature
when she clutters up the house with
rocks and shells the names of whlct
she can't remember.
Beaarr la BIo4 Deea.
Clean blood means a clean skin. No
beauty without it. Cascarets, Candy Cathar
tic clean your blood and keep it clean, by
stirring up the busy liver and driving all im
purities from the body. Begin to-day to
banish pimples, boils, blotches, blackheads,
snd that sickly bilious complexion by taking
Cascarets, beauty for ten cents. All dnrj
gists, satisfaction guaranteed. 10c. 25c, 80c.
Be wise, soar not too high, but stooi
to rise.
Ta Cars Conatlpatlea Vorevar.
.Take Cascarets Candy Cathartic. lOo or So.
J C. O. C talk la cure, dracclata rotund monef.
The poorest man Is not the one who
bas the least, but the one who wanti
the most.
m ACHE
"Bout my wife and myself have been
aalnar CASCARETS aud they are the best
medicine we bare ever bad In the house. Last
week my wife was frantio with beadaobe for
two days, she tried some of your CASCARETS,
and the relieved the pain in ber head almost
Immediately. We both recommend Cascarets. "
OBAS. STBDErORD.
Pittsburg Safe A Deposit Co., Pittsburc. Pi
CANDY
Pleasant. Palatable. Potent. Taste Oooo Io
Good, Hewer woken. Weaken, or Gripe. 10a. ttc. Inc.
... CURE CONSTIPATION. ...
wss S.w,T C ill,, j. fklim. Mm, ul. Km Trt. tit
M.Tfl.Rlfi Sold anil gnarantero br at! drnr
I U-DAU :!,, m I VHi: T..lm.-1. llui.lt
TELEPHONE CONNECTIONS.
CHAS. R0ESCH & SONS
Standard Brand Ham and Bacon
CITY DRESSED MEATS.
Abattoir Stock Yards, West Philadelphia
racklir HMse-efri(erator M4-SM N. 2s, Pslla.
Central Market, Allaattc City, N. J.
FOR F1FTYYEARS!
MRS. wiNSLOW'S
SOOTHING SYRUP
nas open oaM by millions of mothers Tr
heir children while reethtne for over Klft
Irani. It soothra Ul cliU.I. softens tlia
tains, allays all pain.curvs wind culio, an 1
i tbe best retnedj for tUarrtMua.
Tvanty-fiva Canta a Battle.
If afflicted with
sore eyes, use
Thompson's Eye Water
WANTKD-ctar of had health that R-l-P-A-S H
J-' not hrneflt. Bend acta, to HlpaiiClieinl-JI
to Hew York, for 10 samples ami luuuiilin"iiul
UA Relief Female puis &
HRODnV nW DI8C0VT RY: tire.
Swyrajtawat 1 oi-k r. .f .nd co w.f
loattaisaaa lUdsye t.euu".
. saua's BOSS. Boa U, atlaau. Sa.
RHEUsilTKM('t,II1 "nrbnti1e.a.u
liinT... - weaimant, pimluairt. 111
asataov oo.. sttTumiiwick si. . N
i ir.H
C3E