ROMANCE. .Wien Flora, makes soft music. Ana all the lltrhu are low, And dark winds down their allay Among the rotes blow, I wonder In a country Where one X used to go, A land of vague and sweet delights That only lovers know. Ova bar lingers drooping . I see her shadowy hair. So from son dim old canvas Might steal on twilight air The grace that waa so lovely, Tho face that was so fair. That tht painter lost his eunnluc. And the priest forgot his prajerl I wonder If this life of onra Repeats its sweetest woes If under othor stars we met The ancient evenings so, It Flora and her listener Only old raptnrrs know, And in that land of strange delights Were lovers long ago I -Woman's Borne Companion. ! of the Pen. I Slip rOnjf TnOMAS saddled np old II nornet, put on bis "chaps," and rode out across tbe ranee to get the niall. Xbo nearest postofllee was at Antelope Station, eighteen miles over the hills, and twenty-Ore by tbe road. Tbe Inst of tb beef-gather waa over and tbe ranchmen bad little to do but rido tho pastures and wait for spring. Thnt Is, most of them. John bad a lot to do, as be would bnrc told you himself, for bo was to bo mar ried on Christmas dny, and that Is why be was so regularly riding twice a week to the poNtolIiee. . Over at Antelope, the telegraph-opor ator, who acted also as station agent and postmaster,, was sitting alono In bis little office except the section botiflo, tb o only bouse In sight thinking of home and Mary Brand. Homo was awny down East, and Mary Brand whs Just a black-eyed girl who did not care for him one bit, as be well knew, for be had asked her about It before ho started West Hut there Is no law against thinking of a girl even if you cannot got her, so tbe operator thought of Mary Brand and believed himself to be very miserable, and piled - more coals on the Are, though the little stove was already red-hot And ho smoked, and swore softly that It was a horrible country and the superintendent had given him tho worst station on the whole line. He was a good boy, but bo bad not been West long enough tc get his bead bard. As be smoked, he noticed that his meerschaum was color ing up first rate, and he was much com forted. Just when darkness succeeded tbe dull dnyllght, snow began to fall, and with the first flnkos came John Thomas. He got his letters and sat down'by the operator's tire to read them. He was a big, comfortable follow. In marked contrast to the discontented-looking telegraphor, and so tbe latter thought for bo broke tho silence with: "I say, you soetn pretty well satisfied with yourself. How do yon mauuge II in a bole itko tulsJ" "Yffung follow." said John, "tht plains U tho finest place on earth, and the only place left where a man can get a start Look at me; cojuo out nine years ago without a cent, worked four years on the trv'1 ' " 1 three for. Bid Baxter, Warned f ry a bran'- earl? this morning-- I sprang up ant -hi -Is-Hn my rope ai4iew on Sunday.! fvf"" To, ijCrlhllP thing my horse could catch, and now Pve got a place of my own and an In terest. in a trail-herd. What's the mat ter with mo?" "You're all right," admitted the boy, "but you couldn't do It again, now Tom Adams has got his maverick bill through tbe Legislature." "Don't fool yourself," suld John, "any maverick my horse can catch la going to get my brand on. Do you know how many mavericks were sold for tho benefit of the school fund on the j fall round-up In this district? I'll tea you. One. Ho fetched seventy-five cents. Oh, the Jaw is all right" The operator was interrupted In his smoking by the click of the instrument, and when bo had taken a train order, tbe ptlpe was out Picking up an en velope John had thrown down, he thrust It into the coals; and as It flared np, bo noticed tho postmark, "Hullo!" said he; "Bangor Is my town; do you know anybody in Ban gor r "You bet I do," said the cowboy. "I'm going to marry the nicest girl In that whole town, and her name Is Mary Brand." If old Hornet outsldo the door had not got tired of standing there, eigh teen miles from his supper, so that John at that moment mnde a rush to catch him, tho operator's dismay would 00t havo escaped notice. Ills Jaw dropped, and the beautiful pipe fell to the floor. John caught his horso and beaded aw.ay toward the ranch through the failing snow. The operator went to tbe key and telegraphed for a pipe to be sent up on the II rut train. Then he went to bed. Ho bad a bud night John bummed a tune as bis horse amblod along through tho dark. Not an operatic ulr, but one of those hymn tunes ail cowboys use on dark nights. He was certainly happy, for he didn't hurry his horse, nor spur him when ho stumbled. One of tlioao letters was from Mary Brand. She wrote she was leaving Bangor for her uncle's home in Denver on that day, and that John was qot to coino down until Christmas Eve, because there was much to do and he "would be in the wajr." The .other letter wns from a broker in Den ver, and said: "Think we have a cus tomer for your trail cows, and have engaged for you to meet him here soma day next week. Will ndvlse furtnei toon." Snow wns still falling when John reached home and turned In, re flecting upon tbe futility of all mav erick laws. Snow was still falling next day. Tbt railroad was blockaded and he could not get to Denver on the day appointed. The wires were down, so there was no telegraphing. Christmas was spent n the telegrapher's oflice, and for once John looked as discontented as tbe op erator. The latter took no Interest in jolorinjr the new pipe and wrote out his resignation ready to dispatch nf soon as the line should bo open, an nounclug that he wus going back to Maine by the first train. One of the first things sent when the line wns open wns John's message to Mary Brand, ut Denver, to the effect that if the railroad wasn't shoveled out very soon, he should start down on foot That operator wns a good boy, and he sent the nies-sage straight, and when an hour later he was called up by thr Denver ofliee to receive the following message to Joan Thomas about his trail cows: "Ton need not come down. Engagement off. Culver Bros.," be was atm without guile. Bnt his heart waa fall of Mary Brand AU day tbt wires had been singing Mary Brandt tbe key bad been clicking Mary Brand. Small wonder when be took tbe pad of yellow paper and wrote oat tbe mes sage, be made one small slip he really didn't do it. It did Itself. . ' "Ton need not come down. Engage ment off. Mary Brand." Is the way It read when John received It If this were not a true story. It might be written that John went In person and demanded an explanation. What be really did was to write a note sug gesting tbe return of his letters. And, Mary being a black-eyed girl, he got them by return malL . Mary Brand went borne. The ranch man returned to the winter vocation of riding the pastures and waiting for spring. Tbe operator took an early train for down East If he ever knew what he Jiad done be kept his own counsel and renewed his salt So Mary married the operator, and being a black-eyed girl she makes him a good wife. Q. B. Dunham, In San Francisco Argonaut Feat of a Stenographer. A correspondent of the London Tele graph relates tbe following concern ing Thomas Allen Keed. an expert stenographer, whose death was recent ly reported: Reed was once on profes sional business In Liverpool, and stayed In the same hotel as Charles Mathews, the actor. The bitter bad appeared In "My Awful Dad," and after the per formance be strolled Into the smoking-room. Having beard of Mr. Reed's exiertno8s as a note-taker, Matbewa challenged the reporter to Jot down certain passages from the character of Puff In Richard Brtnsley Sheridan's "Critic." Reed expressed bis wllling uess to have a try. Mathews, who was one of the I .?st "patter" speakers on the stage, began to gnbble tbe lines with startling rapidity, and tbe other tr:Uned every nerve to follow him. When the test was finished Reed, whose notes, despite the terrific speed at which he had been writing, were of neat and legible outline, merely Insert ed a vowel mark or two and handed them to an assistant who was called into the room, and who transcribed tbe characters with but few mistakes, backwards! "I should hardly have thought it possible, Mr, Reed!" was tbe astonished Charles Mathews' com ment It Urew on Sunday. In a country town not far from New York an old-fashioned preacher had ex horted his flock one Sunday not to read the Sunday newspapers. On the fol lowing Monday he was strolling through the mnrket place when b spied some unusually fine asparagus a vegetable of which he was almost gluttonously fond. In the stall of one of bis parishioners. "Mr. Smith," said the parson, "I will buy some of your asparagus If It is not too dear." Now, Smith was a confirmed readei of his. Sunday newspaper, and the ser mon had not pleased him at alL lit decided to play a Joke on his pastor. Moreover, be bad sold bis asparagus already, though be said not a word about that "I am sorry, doctor," said the crafty Smith, "but I would not like to hav It on my conscience that I sold yoc such 'grass' as that" "What Is the matter with it 7" ex claimed the preacher. In surprise. "I never saw finer." "Oh, It's aU right that way," salt! Smith, "but, yoojiee. I picked Jt onlj REQUIRES JOLLY MEN. Undertakers Moat Be Good-Matured ta Stand the Constant Strain. An undertaker who does business np town who Is fat and 1ollv and who Wo tv. ovwi thinoa nr ur .rwi Mn I laugh until bis sides shake at a Joke, bared his leg In the coollng-off room and showed a lot of black and blue marks Just above the knee. "That's where I pinch myself to stop laughing at some funerals," be said. "Yon know that the undertaker, of all people, it not permitted to even smile at tbe last services of the dead and the fun-loving element In my nature often gets the better of me, even at funerals, so that to keep a long face I Just grab my leg at the length of my arm and pinch until I ache. Sometimes the pain brings actual tears to my eyes and the folks around me, I suppose, think I am mighty susceptible, and so I am. bu nor to sorrow. "I got these big marks, you see, da before yesterday at the funeral of an old-timer In my ward whom I had grown up with from school days. He was one of the meanest men thut evei lived. He was too mean to belong to the church, and they had to get a Pres byterian preacher to say a word over him, for the priest wouMu't and when that good man talked about the many virtues and good deeds of the dead and pictured him going round the world with charity and kindness, I thought I would go into a fit. Five pinches In all, good strong ones, I gave myself, and then I had to luave my place along side tbe box when I Ininglncd I sav the dead man winking at me. "My friends tell me I ought to get out of tbe business, but I hold that It needs a jolly, good-naturtd fellow like me to stand the constant strain of. being al ways in the mix with sorrow an J tears." Brooklyn Times. Why lie Didn't II ply. It Is not always easy to be polite. Witness this from the Chicago Post: "Why don't you answer?" said mad anu, impatiently, to the Scandinavian on the sti ;-l;iilcler engaged In putting up new window fixtures. The man gnlped and replied gently: "I have my mout' full of screws; not can sr-eak till I svoller some." Needed Everywhere. "Sv.-li.-gs has Invented another kiut of metal street car fender." "What is it?" "He wears it over his kneen to koej. people from stepping on bis toes." Puck. An Areament. "The minister asked me bow I couli' defend the practice of skating on Sun day." "What did you say?" . "I said it might thaw on Mondays Tuck. Gambling In England. In the latest history of gambling In England, there are some astonishing revelations as to tbe amount of money won and lost by men and women whose names were as familiar as household words early In the present century. There are records of $200,000 having been lost at a sitting, and the loss of $50,000 appears to have been a very common occurrence. A dynamite explosion will attract more attention than the bursting of tht buds In springtime; growth Is quiet tut none the less powerful. . F0I1 LITTLE FOLKS. COLUMN OP PARTICULAR lit TERE3T TO THEM. tasaetalaa; that Will latere the Jaw enlla Me bars of Every Hoaeehela -Qaatas Actlsnaand Bright Saylanw f Mmmy Cats aad Canning Chlldreau Sefore they had arithmetic, , Or telescopes, or chalk, r blackboards, maps and copybooks When they could only talk; Sefore Columbus came to show The world, geography, What did they teach tbe little boys Who went to school like me? rhrre wasn't any grammar then. They couldn't read or spell. Tor books were not Invented yet I think 'twas Just as well. rhere were not any rows of dates. Or laws, or wars, or kings, Dr generals, or victories, Or any of those things. rhere couldn't have been much to learn; There wasn't murh to know, Twas nice to be a little boy Ten thousand years ago! for history bad not begnn. The world waa very new. and in the schools, I don't see what The children had to do. Sow, always there Is more to learn How history does crow! Ind every day they find new things They think we oaght to know. ind If It ranst go on like this, I'm glad I live to-dny, ?0r boys ten thousand years from now Will not have time to play. Charier' Frisks. Little Charley Frost lived In tht sountry, and, though eight years old ( am sorry to say he was afraid to lx alone In the dark. One evening bis mother sent hln with a message to his uncle, who llvec at tbe other side of tho field. Tbe moon was shining so brightly that sh thought ber little boy would not fee' afraid. When be was half way across tht Held the moon bid herself behind I jloud, and Charley stood quite still nnf trembled. He could see something hit moving In front of him, which lookec like a giant with his arms stretcbet aut So he turtied round to run home . Then Charley thought to himself, "1 will not be afraid. I'll Just shut mj yes, and run past as quickly as I can.' And so be did. When hu stopped run ninsv'and opened bis eyes, tbe moot was'qulte bright once more, and Char ley saw what do yon think? A big tree with Its spreading branches! "Ha! ha! bar' laughed Charley. "I' Is only that dear old tree after all. llov illy I was to be afraid." Chances Hie rhell Often. When Mr. Lobster Is a little fellou '0 eats and grows Just as fast as he nn, Just like babies of any kind and lie first tiling he knows his suit oi .'lothes, which is a bard shell. Is toe mall for him, so he cracks It across tin jack and crawls out This Is a pretty inrd Job, for his limbs run down dev; nto the big claws and bis eyes stick rat on tbe ends of queer little ropes sc le can look backwards and two o Jiree other wnys at once. When his tender body. Is out of thf ihell be hides as quickly as be can tin ler the dark corner of a rock for ht Knows that If another lobster comes Uong be will bo eaten. MiivIh he lost t limb or two in getting out of his old rait, but If he did ho Is uot worried Jut goes right to work to grow a new ne, turns bis stomach Inside out anil rets a now lining on It and then growt l new shell as quickly as he can. Trap-Poor Spider A curious species Is that of the trap joor spiders, whose nest consists of t tube excavated In the earth to the depth of six or eight Inches. It is al ways lined with silk and It Is closec with an Ingeniously constructed door One sort of door closes Into the nest like a cork In a bottle; another Is a thin as a piece of pnier. In all cases the door opens outward and when the nest Is placed, as It us nally Is, on a sloping bank. It oMn apward so that there Is no fear of Id gaping. The objuct of the trap-door It to conceal tbe nest and consequent!? It Is always made to resemble tbe gen oral surface of the ground. Sometimes however, an enemy attempts to opei the door; and then the Inmate brace: Its legs a gainst the sides of tbe nest and holds It as fast as possible. StlU other spiders have Inner doon besides tbe outer, -so that if their Innei defense be carried, they may have an other behind which to retreat. Mon curious still is the Ingenuity of th branch trap-door; that Is to say. a dooi that enters from the main tunnel of tin nest into a side branch, which the sp: der knows, of course, but wbleli r. stranger could discover, since there Is nothing to distinguish It from any oth er part of tbe main nest So, then. If an enemy should effect entrance, the lawful occupant of the nest can quiet ly slip Into tbe side branch, shut tit door, and there remain in security while the Intruder wonders what har 'leconiava-t bar Can Tea Do It Two farmers came to a grocery to got Mine oil. One. of them had an elght rallon and the other a five-gallon can. Each one wanted Just four gallons of ll, but the grocer's measures had all aeeu stolen except one of three gallons, tnd he did not know bow to measure t out for them. As four and four siake eight. It was easy enough to first 111 tbe eight-gallon can, but how to get i Inst four gallons of that Into tbe flve rallon can was a hard problem, b-.it at ast, after the three men bad spent the ong afternoon In trying they did It, islng only the three measures of eight Ive and three gallons each. See if you nn0t solve It Yon do not have to ise gallon cans. Quart measures or pints will do Just as well, of course. Tratha for Otrla. Neatness of dress first and style may atm as aa after thought I I Ilrep n? 0 And Is it not due to nervous exhaustion? Things always look so much brighter when we are In good health. How can you have courage when suffer Ing with headache, nervous prostration and great physical weakness? Would you not like to be rid of this depression of spirits? How? By removing the cause. By taking It gives activity to all parts that carry away useless and poisonous materials from your body. It removes the cause of your suffering, because it re moves all impurities from your blood. Send fcr cur book on Nervousness. To keep in good health you must have perfect action of the bowels. Ayer's Pills cure con stipation and biliousness. KMls) to ow Oootorm. frlwM too woul.l like to eonralt torn, eminent phjr.lrlana about your condition. Tbon wrlto na froely nil the articular ta jenr . Toe will ra. Ive a prompt reply, without roat. ASdreaa. OB. 4. c. AVER. Si t Lowell. How many thoughts a day for moth sr's comfort do you give? Never mind about the dimples if here's sunshine In your smile. At least one little act of kindness a lay and an easy pillow at night One frown a day when she's In her seens will wrinkle a girl's forehead Ike a crone's by the time she Is 20. Try making yourself as agreeable to rour brother as If he were some other rlrl's brother. It will pay to win bis oyish confidence. RECENT INVENTIONS. Small rooms can be heated by a gas let with the use of a new apparatus, which rests on tbe shade and Is of cir cular shape," with a revolving fan at tbe top operated by tbe heat from the Same to set the air of the room In mo tion. A Kansas Inventor has designed a new form of wind wheel, having horl contal rods arranged radially from a vertical shaft, with a pair of partially folding wings on each rod, which open when moved with wind and close when going against It Mattresses are replaced for summer use by a new ventilated bed bottom, which Is formed of spring frames set it tbe proper distance apart to rest n tbe side rails, wltb braces to hold them rigid, a suitable fabric being itretched over tbe frames.. The lower brace on the chain side of t new bicycle frame Is used as a gear m8e. the single tube being replaced by i flat casing, with channels formed of he top and bottom to cover the chain ind heads at either end, which sur-. round tbe sprocket wheels. An improved automatic bicycle pum is clamped directly to the center of the Bub, with a lever at one end which en zages an adjustable screw at every revolution of the wheel to operate a ptston and force the air into the tire, :he bead of the screw being within reach of the rider without disinount ng. In a new wrench the revolving sleeve, which adjusts the movable Jaw :o fit the nut. has notches cut In the rear edge, with two spring fingers on :ho handle, which are held open while the sleeve Is In motion and engages the notches to prevent the Jaw becom ing loose when tightened. Taste Sens tl us. There are only four simple taste sen atlons namely, sweet bitter, sour and tnlt It Is said by some that there are mly two, sweet and bitter. All other teusations which are commonly called Mstcs are complex results of sensations f smelt touch, temperature and sight. The means by which we distinguish al nost all of our common food and drinks s not the sense of taste so much as It s the sense of smell, touch, tempera :ure and sight AU the fine differences y which we distinguish the various 'rults, meats and drinks depend not lpou taste at all, but upon these other lenses. A proof of these facts may be riven by merely blindfolding the eyes ind closing tbe nose and taking vari us kinds of foods and drinks into tbe nouth without swallowing them. It .vill then be found that It Is quite im possible to distinguish many of the commonest foodn nnd drinks. It Is, of ourse, generally known that what Is Ktpularly mistaken for tbe taste of offee, tea and wine Is only their iroma, Expr sa Trolley O ira. The Pittthurg trolley lines run ex press cars. There are large sliding loom in the sides through which ex press packages are received and de livered at any point on the line. Auto mobile delivery wagons wait at various points and scurry about from bouse to house Immediately upon the arrival of tbe express cars, the work of trans shipment being rushed through with out delaying regular passenger traffic Popnlntlon of Ontario. Tbe population of the province of On tario Is estimated at 2.200.000. Tbt principal cities are: Toronto, with 183, 172 people; Ottawa, 63,727: Hamilton 50.035; London, 38,224; Kingston, 18, O0; Brantford, 1034; Windsor, 11.. 315; St. Thomas. 11,021; Ouelpb, 10. 741; Stratford. 10.531; Belleville, 10, 339; St Catharines, 10,144; Chatham 3,788. Never doubt a woman's word when she says she can't sing. It's tea to one she la telling the truth. 1&A Maaa. If TRUMPET OALUfc Bora Sonata a Waralagt to the Pnredssaaaa i OW, means to day; not to-mor-. row. Honesty la Christ In the office. Holiness la C b rl s t In the heart The pleasures of sin are brief and soon bitter. While In Rome, do as the Romans ought to do. The granite column Is no less strong because polished. Some people who are supposed to be patient, are simply buy. The wheel runs away with Its rider when It Is used to break God's law. What kind of a material are yon fur nishing for your funeral sermon? The devil In tbe church Is far more troublesome than tbe one outside. The misery of poverty is nothing compared with tbe misery of envy. We must have a word with Jesus be fore we can give a word for Jesus. The wiliest move of the devil Is ta persuade men that there Is no devil. Personal slander Is no answer to a truth that troubles a guilty conscience Tbe power of an Idea Is not to be measured by the noise of Its utterance. We always count him a wise man who knows ns little as we do ourselves. When will man learn that It Is at wicked to lie In a creed as In a horse trade? Tbe world is generally willing to pay mora for what it wants, than for what It needs. It takes more grace than many pos sess to forgive a neighbor for being successful. It seems that evolution has ascertain ed that the Garden of Eden was a monkey garden. No man will get across the Jordan and Into the city on tbe back of bb five yoke of oxen. When you do a good deal don't spot It by bunting through the newspaper! for a notice of It There are Christians who want a sword of the Spirit that can be twister? into a corkscrew at wilL The bid who gave Christ his five loaves and fishes, did more than If ht had bought them all bread. The difference between "saying pray ers" and praying, Is the difference be tween superstition and Christianity. Some folks go Into a revival as oth era go fishing, not that they value what is caught but tbey enjoy the catching Tbe preaching of the minister doe not make the church's reputation sc much as the practicing of the congre gation. All They Could Hope For. Dean Redding was a man of a re markably cheerful and hopeful turn of nind. His wife, on the other hand, look things very seriously, and bad no uiiall difficulty In accommodating ber telf to the peculiarities of ber neigh Dors when, as not nnfrequently hap pened, they differed from ber own. Life cites an anecdote Illustrating these pposite traits of character In the bus sand and wife. - Shortly after tbe dean had moved to i new parish In the Woking district, the worthy woman had been out call ng among the poor parishioners. "John," she cried, returning home In l state of mental agitation, "what do you think tbey say of Mrs. Reiley, the butcher's wife?" "I'm sure I do not know," responded the sagacious husband, too discreet to hazard a rash opinion. "I'm sure I Jon't know. What? Nothing serious, I hope?" "Tbey say they can tell when sbo's (oing to have company by her washing :he children's faces! Now, you're a pretty sanguine man, John, but what in earth can you hope for of a woman like thatr "Well," he answered, with something j like, a sigh, to hide the humor which io wise husband cares to show In con ildering the difficulties of his wife, "I uipo8e all we can hope for is that she entertains a good deal." His Brain Was Very Large. Professor David Ilauseniann, of Ber (in, examined the brain of Hermanii Von Helmholtz at the time of thai great physician's death by apoplexy In at tbe age of 74, and Just now his report has been reproduced In tbe British Medical Journal. The circum ference of the head was fifty-nine and that of the skull fifty-five centimeters. Helmholtx's head was about equal In size' to that of Bismarck, and rather smaller than that of Wagner, both of whom had big hoads. We are told that like Cuvler, Helmholtz was some what byorocephalic In youth. It has been maintained by some authorities that hydrocephalus in early life may be an advantage, inasmuch as It en larges the skull and gives the braio space for growth. An Excellent Combination. The pleasant method and beneficial effects of the well known remedy, Strup or Fins, manufactured by the California Fio Svrtjp Co., illustrate the value of obtaining the liquid laxa tive principles of plants known to be medicinally laxative and presenting them in the form most refreshing to the taste and acceptable to the system. It is the one perfect strengthening laxa tive, cleansing the system effectually, dispelling colds, headaches and fevers gently yet promptly and enabling one to overcome habitual constipation per manently. Its perfect freedom from every objectionable quality and sub stance, and its acting on the kidneys, liver and bowels, without weakening or irritating them, make it tbe ideal laxative. In the process of manufacturing figs are used, as they are pleasant to the taste, but the medicinal qualities of the remedy are obtained from senna and othor aromatic plants, by a method known to the California Fie Syrup Co. only. In order to get its beneficial effects and to avoid imitations, please remember tbe full name of the Company printed on the front of every package. CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP CO. aw? wmAVCXSOO. OAX Mtiiivau it rw Tomx, w. t. for sals tau Droggista. Price SOc per Sottas rT- cms HAD NOT SEEN MANILA. a-. Salter Detected by Lactnraa at she Mat Paaaraaaa. Since Manager Senaffer of the battle of Manila panorama threw open hla doors to soldiers and sailors "in uni form" tome funny complications have arises. Both warriors and Jack tars have ben personated by men who have borrowed "regulation" clothing, but who havo little further title to be rank ed as "heroes" and "nation's defend ers." One day a stout-looking specimen In the flowing trousers and unsatisfac tory cap of the sailor walked gayly past the door, hitching his hlpa and skipping In the most approved Ralph Rackstraw fashion. And no one said him nay. But the lecturers up on the platform are both sailor men. Both served through the battle of Manila bay, and while they welcome genuine "mates they are severe on the sham. They de tected citizen's clothing under the navy blue flannels of the visitor and spotted him. "Hello, mate. What ship you fromr asked one. "Oregon," was the ready reply. "Oh, then, this scene Is familiar to yon," and the lecturer waved his hand broadly at the Cavlte arsenal, the Lunetta battery and rock Coregldor. "Yn-as." was the slow response, as the bogus bluejacket turned from poln to point n There's the entrance to the bay, continued the crafty veteran. "Yo-as, I know." "Place look familiar?" "Ya-as. That's Manila, ain't Mr' He had taken a long shot, but the guess waa a good one. "Yep." "Oh, ya-as. And that's Havana. He felt encouraged. He went farther. "And that's Santiago. Aw? There's the Iowa, ain't It?" "Forrad of the Baltimore 7 "Ya-as." "That's her. You came In port side of Luzon and Just abaft the blnacle, I s'poseT' "Ya-as-somethln' like that" "With Morro castle on your poop deck and general quarters In tbe hal yards?" "I-don't-Just remember." "Oh, yes, you do. Don't yon recollect and the main hatch on the lookout for Sangley point, while the gunner's mate rowed ashore In the galley?" That last sounded possible, so the victim plucked up courage and re sponded radiantly: "Tea, by Jove, that's so. But where did Hobson come in?" "Why, can't you see? Over there In Bakor bay, with the gunner oh the rapid-fire lanyards and the elght-lncb searchlight goln' ahead half-speed on tbe plum duff bow. See, where the signal code Is a-tralMng for the mines? I thought you'd recognise it. Right for'rd there's where Montejo made a moss call and lost the pot See tbe stanchions stondin' to tbe guns? That's where tbe McCulloch made a rapid fire with her smoke stacks, you know, and a cutter went Into the searoom with a stop cock on her starboard anchor. Yes, Indeedy! You fellows on the Ore gon did great things with Dewey at Manila. That's him down there with tbe grip on his cable glasses and a weather eye out for the spanker boom. But did you " "I guess I'U be going," said tbe bogus one, for he was not comrortawe. "Why, stay and see the show. When a man can mix up Santiago and Ha vana and old Cavlto In one " "Oh, It's a good thing enough, bnt I've got a friend waiting " "But you haven't heard the lookout on tbe hold up aloft You haven't seen tbe Marlvales range down along the bumboat to the bridge over the sick bay. You haven't " He had followed tbe shame-faced pretender to the stairs, and there the man in unaccustomed blue whrrled and ran like a quarter horse post tbe curios from the Philippines and never felt safo till he gained tbe land-locked har bor of a Van Buren street lodging house. Chicago Chronicle, SETTING EVEN FOR A SLIGHT. Doctor's Wife Take Eweat Revenge on a Foclety Leader. A medical correspondent writes: "A patient of mine, Mr. C, a solicitor, hav ing given up the active exercise of bis profession, retired some twelve years ago with bis wife to tbe country. He was made welcome by the surround ng gentry, and was soon on friendly terms with all except the 'county set' Recently my patient's wife received, for the first time In twelve years, a call from a Mrs. X., who regarded herself as tbe leader of the county society. After making a few vague remarks, ap parently excuses for the long demy in calling, Mrs. X. boldly came to the point and asked for a subscription to ber voluntary schools. Mrs. C. agreed with enthusiasm and at once wrote a check and handed it to her visitor. 'So glad to help you I I hope you will find this right but I have a poor head for figures; If It Is wrong please correct me. It has taken you a Ion? time to Ret here; I Imagine it will take you as long to get back! I have, therefore, postdated tbe check somewhat so that there may be no difficulty In getting It ileared! Good-by. The check was lated March 24, 1011!" London Chron icle. The more a man knows, the less he doubts, and the more he keeps still about It. Albert Bnrrh, West Toledo, Ohio, Mn: "Hall's Catarrh Cure aaved my life." Writ turn for particular. Sold b rirueirlafat. U Deep streams move with silent ma jesty; shallow brooks babble over every tiny stone. Mrs. Window Soothing Syrup for children teethiiift, (often the (rams, redncina; inflamma tion, allay pain, enres wind colic, 2oc a beetle Fire and sword are slow engines of destruction in comparison with the babbler. Pi bo's Cure cured me of a Throat and Luna trouble of three years standing. -E. CajT. Huntington. lnUKor. 13. ISM. Life is made up of sunshine and sha dow about five shadows to one sun shine. BdaeataYsa Bee els Wlta Candy Cathartic, ears constipation fore re. tDcao. It C q O. fau. drossisM ret nnd ainaas An Imitation, though It may excel the original, can never take the place of It. enaraataed labaoeo habit an. i Dmsireasiaod pure, Mo,L Ailaruccista Adversity gives the great man a chance to show how great he is, A man always reveals his charac ter In due time, put him where you will. I I Bast Cow ayrajjsiiiaaooa, TJI I The sea-shore is not the only place where the children's clothes wear out with no apparent reason. When they come from the wash with the colors faded and streaked and worn spots showing where there should be no wear, then something is being used besides Ivory Soap. You can save trouble and expense by using it and nothing else. The lengthened life of one garment will more than pay for the soap. IVORY SOAP 994M PER CENT. PURE. SQUELCHED THE WOMAN. She Bad Corrected Bia Pronunciation and Ha Took Revenge. He was one of the people who rather pride themselves on being oblivious to the finest distinctions of language. - He had once lived in the.Itocky Mountains for a short time, and tbe border novel a Hon info hln avstem. She. on the other band; was alertly punctilious and sometimes overbeanug in uer uim-i knowledge. "The ruin of Spain," he remarked casually, "has been that word nian anner.' " "You mustn't say mananner," she observed, gently. "It should be pro nounced 'manyana.' " "Oh, should Itr And there was a world of sarcasm in bis tone. "It ain't spelt that way." "That makes no difference. It is pro nounced as I tell you." He changed the conversation. "Politics has been right exciting this year," he observed. "I see you prefer the singular verb, notwithstanding tbe fact that the form of tbe noun is pluraL" "Do ir "Certainly. You say politlcs has. " "Oh, yes. I Just came from a small town In Mississippi. They have only no kind there." "I take a great Interest in political celebrities. I once had the pleasure of shaking hands with Mr. Mark Hanna." "Mark Hanna?" "Certainly." "Oh, yes," he proceeded, with an un forgetf ul glitter In his eye. "You mean Mark Hanyer. I chanced to come across him once. He was eating banan yer. And, by the way, would you mind sitting down at the pianyer and playing something In your own exquisite man yer?" "What shall I play 7" she gasped. "Oh, well, let it be something patriot ic. Let it be Tbe Star-Spangled Ban yer. " And then be settled back in his chali and looked Inanely happy. Washing ton Star. SECRET OF THE HIGH DIVE. Trainer af Ctrcaa Oysaaaata Telia Haw tbe Trick la Done. "About the first thing that I teach my pupils," said a trainer of circus gym nasts, "la how to fall. That, you know, hi the secret of tbe great 'head dive' from the roof, which remains up-to-date the greatest invention hi the way of gymnostio tricks that the world has seen." "It looks almost too perilous to be In teresting," I ventured. "But It bj not In the least dangerous. If one only knows how to fall," he con tinued. "Now, if the untrained perform er should attempt to fall In a net from any height whatever he would be al most sure to break some bones. Should he stretch out his arm to save himself, he would be very likely to break It in two places. Should he light on his heels, he might break his leg, or, more likely, pitch forward and break his Jaw. But Just fill your lungs with air and hold them full, double yourself up Into a knot, leaving no limb free, and fall on the back of your shoulders Just above the shoulder blndon nd fall from what height you like and come to no hurt. This explains the cannon and catapult tricks. Why, once we attempted the catapult trick In a hall where the roof was so low that we had to sink the catapult below the floor. The gymnast for nil .k, r -- uwui. uutUlg bis net lowered a corresponding dls- . nwu boot, ido reet rorward and upward at th nnm - wuiv uiuu l be come down nnderneath the net and ana smp-Dang on his shoulders on the bare floor? We nlrL-od ti . . -" mi, ivr urau, ou may hardly believe me. but It had only knocked the wind out of him and shaken him no a hit Tk. . he was performing as usuoJ. That Just " " "e muscles or the shoul ders, together with an elastic cushion or air la the Inn era a-in ...i w, wa icdiou Alien. f "f' ,n the " of gymnasts, the muscles become as hard as Iron and f ur- un a great protection for the bones." RUPTIIDIT Care Guaranteed bv r D . 1015 ARCHS-F.PrRi.-pf -MAYER. no operation w deli IJrfb. fA" once' ?ir-K"d't.o. Phvi.on,,.u,'!f: hoii ZlSnil ""u. 8nd Circular. 5ffi Not hi TUT ono-ao-A. . . . aal taiiTTr9 "T forever, be ma iTrT CT' ,Dm " eak sua BtUamumZtSTl 7Z7vm mtL Address waruai B say Co., Cnioam a Haw, vb If somebody would only null t h. sled uphill for us Ufe would hi 15 long, delightful slide" one A kind heart Is a fountain of elad- Whan You Want tTuik 0 the Bright Side of Things, Use APO'LIO aTV TMK MsOCTCM ft OMtBU CO. OssstMttMATl Oyster-Shell Window Glass. In Manila, where there Is an Interest Ing field open to tbe naturalist, the na tives have a queer substitute for glass It Is a bivalve shell of about nine Inches of surface, so transparent thai print can readily be seen through It and admitting a mellow light In a roon where it Is used as a window glass. The shell Is an attractive object, pr fectly straight, and In appearance re sembles isinglass. One would almoin Imagine that it was some skillful In vention of tbe natives, could not the growth rings be readily observed. Tht outer side of the shell is pen-eptlblj rough, while the Interior Is porfertlj glazed over, and In the light has the pearly lustre found In many of tbt thin-shelled, oyster-like uiollusks ofth tropics. . The shell Is the "riac-uga pla centla" of science, and Is well knowt In China, the common name being tht Chinese window oyster. It is em ployed there also for windows, anc used in lanterns. The Chinese grinc np tbe shell and make from It the nil ver paint so common in their water colors. Are You Using Aran's Foot Caa? It is the onlr. cure for Swollen, Smarting:, Tired, Aching, Burning, Sweating Feet, Corns and Kunlons. Ask for Allen's Foot-Ease, a powder to be shaken Into the shoes. Sold ly all Druggists. Grocers and Shoe Ktores, 25c. Sample snt FRKE. Address, Al len S. Olmstead. Leltoy. N. Y. A suspicious nature suspects other people of being suspicious. Fits permanently cured. No fits or nervous neu after first day's use of Dr. Kline's Great Nerve Restorer. M trial bout? and treatise free. DR. R. H. Kukb, Ltd. 881 Arch St., fhiln. Fa. A woman thinks she loves nature when she clutters up the house with rocks and shells the names of whlct she can't remember. Beaarr la BIo4 Deea. Clean blood means a clean skin. No beauty without it. Cascarets, Candy Cathar tic clean your blood and keep it clean, by stirring up the busy liver and driving all im purities from the body. Begin to-day to banish pimples, boils, blotches, blackheads, snd that sickly bilious complexion by taking Cascarets, beauty for ten cents. All dnrj gists, satisfaction guaranteed. 10c. 25c, 80c. Be wise, soar not too high, but stooi to rise. Ta Cars Conatlpatlea Vorevar. .Take Cascarets Candy Cathartic. lOo or So. J C. O. C talk la cure, dracclata rotund monef. The poorest man Is not the one who bas the least, but the one who wanti the most. m ACHE "Bout my wife and myself have been aalnar CASCARETS aud they are the best medicine we bare ever bad In the house. Last week my wife was frantio with beadaobe for two days, she tried some of your CASCARETS, and the relieved the pain in ber head almost Immediately. We both recommend Cascarets. " OBAS. STBDErORD. Pittsburg Safe A Deposit Co., Pittsburc. Pi CANDY Pleasant. Palatable. Potent. Taste Oooo Io Good, Hewer woken. Weaken, or Gripe. 10a. ttc. Inc. ... CURE CONSTIPATION. ... wss S.w,T C ill,, j. fklim. Mm, ul. Km Trt. tit M.Tfl.Rlfi Sold anil gnarantero br at! drnr I U-DAU :!,, m I VHi: T..lm.-1. llui.lt TELEPHONE CONNECTIONS. CHAS. R0ESCH & SONS Standard Brand Ham and Bacon CITY DRESSED MEATS. Abattoir Stock Yards, West Philadelphia racklir HMse-efri(erator M4-SM N. 2s, Pslla. Central Market, Allaattc City, N. J. FOR F1FTYYEARS! MRS. wiNSLOW'S SOOTHING SYRUP nas open oaM by millions of mothers Tr heir children while reethtne for over Klft Irani. It soothra Ul cliU.I. softens tlia tains, allays all pain.curvs wind culio, an 1 i tbe best retnedj for tUarrtMua. Tvanty-fiva Canta a Battle. If afflicted with sore eyes, use Thompson's Eye Water WANTKD-ctar of had health that R-l-P-A-S H J-' not hrneflt. Bend acta, to HlpaiiClieinl-JI to Hew York, for 10 samples ami luuuiilin"iiul UA Relief Female puis & HRODnV nW DI8C0VT RY: tire. Swyrajtawat 1 oi-k r. .f .nd co w.f loattaisaaa lUdsye t.euu". . saua's BOSS. Boa U, atlaau. Sa. RHEUsilTKM('t,II1 "nrbnti1e.a.u liinT... - weaimant, pimluairt. 111 asataov oo.. sttTumiiwick si. . N i ir.H C3E