THE MINISTER'S Wirt She's; llttla and modest and party, ' As fresh as's, rose aid as sweet; Her children don't ever lee dirty. Her kitchen ain't no way bat neat Sbe'a the kind of a woman to eheri: A help to a feller through life. Yet every old be a in the pariah Is down on the minister's wife. Twas Mrs. 'Llge Hawkins begun it; She allers hex had the idee That the church was built so's she could run it, 'Cause Hawkins is deacon, yon see. She thought that the hull congregation Jest marched to the tune of her fife. But she found 'twas a wrong calkerlalion Applied to the minister's wife. Then Mrs. Jedge Jeoks got excited. She thinks she's the hull upper cruet When she heerd the Smiths was invited To meetin', she quit In disgust. "You may hare all the papers yon choos to," Sez she, jest as sharp as a knife, "But if they go to church, I refuse to," "Good-byel" soz the minister's wife. And then Mrs. Jackson got stnffy At her not comin' sooner to call; And old Miss MacCJregor is huffy 'Cause she went up to Jackson's at all Each one of the crowd hates the other, The church hex bin full of their strife. But now they're all batin' another. And that one's the minister's wife. But still, all the cackle unheedin- She ,-oes in her ladylike way, A-piviu' the poor what they're needin", And helpin' the church every doy. Our miners each Sunday is swellin'. And real, true religion is rife. And sometimes I fel like a-yellin' "Three cheers for the minister's wife!" Puck. HIS WOOING. JX the top story of a pretention? dwelling In one of the chief streets in Manchester, immediately under i the roof, dwelt a young man by the name of Foote. He had Just passed ! through one of the chief engineering j schotls :n England with great credit, j Unfortunately he had been thinking j of Inventing an "automatic brake" to 1 keep railway engines from runniDg j through each other when meeting on a single .rack. Pull of this idea, he bad declined some rather advantageous pro-' posals in order to give himself entirely day and night to the perfection of plans and models for this Invention. One day on the staircase, or rather on the tirst floor landing, he came face to face with a beautiful young girt, a blondi". i She came and she disappeared. ! The next day Foote chanced to find himself on that same landing at that same hour, and more fortuitous still , the girl referred to passed him agnin. ! This time nt least it seeined so she blushed as she passed. ! After which, with due precaution, he made inquiry as to the name of the pretty girl that lived on the first floor, i and was more than charmed to find that It was "Miss Flora Valentine." j Foote. who was as reckless person- j ally as he was devoted to his fellow lw- j ings. made a careful examination of his I poor wardrobe, dressed himself In the ! best of the lot and descended to Flora's i father, no other, in fact, than Mr. Viil-j entine, proprietor of this pretentious dwelling, and bluntly addressed to him the following reqnest: j "I hare the honor, sir, of asking you for yovr daughter's hand." j "Eh? What? My daughter's hand ?" i cried the old man. "For whom, if you ! please?" "For myself." "For yourself but are you not my : lodger of the top floor right up there, ' nnder the eaves?" j "The same, sir." i "Then what Is amiss with your head. I young man? Don't you know that my daughter has 4.000? And you, what i have you?" ; And the poor young man retired dis-' consolate. j That visit, however, which had such : disastrous results for the inventor, i made but a passing Impression upon 1 the mind of Flora's father. That which ! made his face so anxious some twenty- j four hours later was the fact that hi drawing-room fire had suddenly begur j m smoae line a trooper, i In 'not haste he sent for his builder , and surveyor; In hot haste, puffing j with importance and running, the ; builder came. "But your chimney, sir, was built by ' my plan," said the builder; "that Is to say. It cannot smoke!" "AH the same, sir, the chimney ; smokes." j "Because you burn coal In ft. Burn j coke, and coke entirely. You'll get a ; good, clear fire." But Mie substitution of coke for coal i did not make the chimney draw a whiff ; the better. The fumes from the coke i were something dreadful. Mr. Valen tine went himself to the best architect In the town and begged him to come and look Into the matter. The architect consented, and, the ex amination made, was exceedingly frank In the exprefslon of his opinion. "Who Is the blockhead that built the thing?" said he. "Hodgklnson, my builder." "So I thought. Extend the chimney five feet higher to increase the draft and It will go all right The chimney was raised, but still It smoked, ami the architect's bill was higher than the stack. IHsgusted with architects. Mr. Val entin1... then addressed himself to sweeps. The drawing-room was now blner than a country tap room. At this junc ture the cook Interposed. "One of the io; lodgers, sir, says as how he can slop the chlnihly smoking." "Bring him here, then. Immediately." And quick :is lightning Fonrte for Foote it was was down from his lofty height at Mr. Valentine's bidding. !i. it's you. i it?" said he. "that - ' ' ' ' cere live minutes au Incurable chimney. Xo matter. Go on; have a try. I want to see you do it." "Five minutes Is rather brief. I want an hour." "Theu an hour you shall have. Name your price." "Sir." answered Foote. with dignity. "you will give me the hand of Miss Val entine! That Is my price, to be paid only after success." "For a chimney? Tou are crazy, man." "For a chimney, sir, no; for that chimney, yes. (.'all In. If you like, nil the buiM.Ts in Manchester, and if th-whol.- of t l!!i! van vli in three month' time wii.it I am goln to do in one lion, oiuiely. kci-i tills and ji'l other chim neys iu the c.. Ilt.oii of this one fmir su.t)kiiig, I consent that you call in krave and fool boLh." "So be In have your -way. I'm off. Do as you itle.-t.se in peace and quiet." "No piips t!ir-.;:!i the keyhola?" "1 agree to it." "And 'if I succeed I've jour pronils. Miss Flora's hand?" "Ccnif. come. sir. begin your work I'm a ma it ef J .istice." But onee alone, Mr. Foote, Instead r obeying? iVnd beginning bis work,. Ih gan losing his time In Idle trifling, high ly Inappropriate to the gravity of the have heard him murmuring aa h ik ted about: - "It la her that my adore em breatibeef This, with other frivolous manners of procedure, having exhausted the allot ted sixty minutes, Mr. Valentine threw open Che door and called them all in. "The fire, sir, the fire; afar It Imme diately!" His command obeyed, the chimney was found to draw with such force and energy that it very nearly drew tip the coals themselves and n smoke! "It 1 splendid V cried Mr. Valentine, overjoyed; "sublime, splendid, and yon shall be my son-in-law If Flora says so." "Oh, yes, papa!" said flora, "yes, yes; your son-in-law. One year alter this marvelous event Foote was married to the fair Flora. The old gentleman was as genial a possible. "This reminds me, my boy, said he some hours after the event, "that there to one thing that I want you to explain to me a little more fully. It is true that your automatic brake was not suc cess, but your other Inventions are bringing yon in pots of money. I am worrying about that other great inven tion, which you leave entirely Idle." "My other Invention," eried Foote, be wildered, 'wbat do you mean?" "Yon know very well what I mean. What could I mean but that secret of yours to keep chimneys from smok ing?" "Please don't let us talk of that" "Why not, pray?" "But you will make me tell things that I don't want to tell, things that I want to keep to myself." "Go on, go on; tell me, I say I" "Well, then, you know that I neTe stopped your chimney from smoking I only stopped making it smoke! I was living under the roof then, and had only to stretch up my arms and corcr the chimney flue with anything handy, a plate, for instance, It was your fault entirely; like other fathers, you obliged the lover to resort to strategy to wU the girl he loved." What the Liw Decides. A debt for the purchase of an electric light plant for a municipal corporation Is held, in Mayo ts. Washington (N. C.) 40 L. R. A. 153, not to be one of the "necessary expenses" of the town , which can be incurred without a vote of the majority of the qualified voters and legislative authority. The Intoxication of a passenger stand ing on the running board of a street car Is held. In Kingston vs. Fort Wayne & Erie Railway company fMich.), 40 L. R. A. 1S1, not to absolve the cora pauy from exercising care towurd blm, or to prevent his recovering damages If Injured by the carrier's negligence. With this case Is an extensive note on intoxication as affecting negligence. The application of the proceeds of a j the parent stalk and Its branches. This sale under a deed of trust to the first I fruit Is nearly the size and shape of a of two notes secured is held. In Ow-! hen's egg. When ripe it Is of a scarlet lugs vs. McKeuzie (Mo.), 40 L. II. A. j hoe and sprits open Into four lobes, dls 154, to be valid as against objections closing a pulpy mass about the eosV by mesne conveyancers who by pur- sisteacy of a fig and filled with minute chase and sale of the property have black seeds. The Mexicans and Indiana become sureties, although their li.-tblll- j are passionately fond of this frnlt and ty has been released by extension of so are the birds. The former, if so time. j fortunate as to get ahead ef their feath- The fact that firewords were on ex- ered rivals, take long poles and knock hibition in a store when a policy of in-1 the trait from the top of the stalk. The surnure was issued on the stock, or , Indian squaws dry It and prepare It that on of the firm of agents which Into a dish resembling fig-paste. Issued the policy soon after purchased I Btrt there Is a use to which the fireworks at the store. Is held. In Phoe- srraawt pat the fruit which Is not so nix Insurance company vs. Flemmlng 1 cltnendable. It Is pressed In wide, (Ark.), 30 L. R. A. 78.t. to be sufficient rGSMlow basket J and the juice collected to show knowledge of the agent when In pottery oils (e'-yahs), vessels of na Issuing the policy that the fireworks tire manufactare. The ollas are then were kept in stock. 1 stored In a small room where a fire is , kept burning until the appearance of a " Champagne from Apple Feeing. The practice of the economics in the fruit-rulslng sections of the west has develoied a new article of export. Un til recently the orchard owners and the evaporator managers did not think oi utilizing the cores and parings of ap ples. They occasionally sold them to the Jelly-makers or fed them to the hogs, but more generally allowed them to accumulate as refuse In great heans. I which slowly fermented and decayed, j This year In ninny places the parings and cores are being saved. They are spread out In the hot sun and dried, after which they are packed in larg sticks and held for buyers, who gathel them up and send them away in cax lots. The destination of the dried par ings and cores in these large quantltiei Is France. It is no secret that the ref- use of the orchards of the Missouri ral-: ley and the Ozark country Is now larg-1 ly employed In the manufacture ol champagne by the thrifty winemaken of the vlneclad slopes of France. St ! Louis Globe-Democrat. The Door Locked "Bridget, did you fix that sugar buck et so the ants could not get In?" "Yls. mum. OI tuk th" handle off th cover." Up to Date. New Electrical Iron. A new type of electrically heated Iron derives its heat not from the ex penditure of the current in passing through a wire of high resistance, but from an electric arc formed Inside of 'he iron. Mistress I saw two policemen sitting In the kitchen with you last night, Bridget. Bridget Well, ma'am, yea wouldn't hov an unmarried lady be alt tlif alone with only wa"U policeman, would yez? The other wan wus a chap eron. Puck. Why Rel Maddens Oxen. Red Irritates oxen because it's ths comiileiiientary color to green, and the yes tf the cattle being fixed so much a lurig-. auyriilng red 1 represser a'.lti with increased intensity. "Ah!" Joyfully cried the young man who had got employment at painting the Union Station, "the prophecies of ay family are now being fulfilled. They :fcen said that I would adorn some ,ieat station before I died." Cincinnati oiiiiuirer. The umpire who renders a dociaioa ainst the home team knows what It to be without friends. Love fills unoccupied hearts and imv ties unoccupied heads. THE Q I ANT OAOTOS. Make Hu; Com mt tna Uly Plant, Southern New Mexico and Arizona and southwestern Texas embrace a re gies totally unlike any other section ef the United States. This portion of or country bears evidence of Its Mexi can origin In Its swarthy population aad Its lew-built "adobe" booses, while its bleak mountains hiding treasures of precleoa metal and Its sandy deserts, tasong whose greaseweod and mesqulte bushes lire the, poise nous tarantula, the rattlesnake and the stinging soarpton, seen bnt part and parcel of far sister republic on the south. That which strikes the traveler aaost ftwatMjrt hewever, in Journeying tkMOaA the sandy wastes, is the won Atcta hzrorJaaoe of the cactus family wBMfe appears to grew arerywhete the lewly chalks (cbey'yaaj, the ned- Uke. ecssKlH fo-kah-ree'-yah) and that wngUta giant, the great sab nam (aah Tha drrer the sand and tw kafter the ion the better the castas to nourish. .On soma metmtaln- Haea the dteUas grow so thick one can not pass through them, so fierce are the sharp spines of the ehoUa "balls." Ourved at their ends like fish-hooks. these little spines pierce leather and fasten npon the skin ef the feet, caus ing the most Intense pal a. Ha-ugh and repulsive aa these various kind ef cactus are, however, yet a use has been found for most of them. Aft er treating the stems of some of the smaller Varieties, furniture is manu factured from them chairs, tables and other small articles: the tall, graceful steins of the ecaliHa are gathered and woven Into fences, while the weird, en- couth sahnaim la pot to a number of ones which will require a more detailed description. The sahora ra. easily the king of the cactus family, ts peculiar to Arizona, Its Anted columns with Irs gaunt up ward-growing arms, covering the des erts. In some places like a veritable forest. It is often twenty feet in height and its heart Is a watery pulp projected by long parallel strips of tough, fibrous wood reaching from base to top, the whole covered with a thick, green skin which successfully turns the sun's rays and prevents the evaporation of the water within. Where the Kah tiara gets this water Is a mystery since It grows In the dryest of places where rains come, If they come at all, at almost yearly Intervals. Thfs water, how ever, is of no use to man as many a poor prospector has found to his sor row. It Is estringent and bitter, serv ing only to increase thirst. The Indians of the country Apaches, Flmas, Fapagoes, Maripocas use the straight, flexible poles which form the skeleton of the sahuara in the construc tion of their huts. Like the "pricUy j pear, the giant cactus also Dears a I fruit which grows on the very tips of white froth on the surface of the liquid. It Is then a strong drink called "tlz wln." for which the Indians show a deplorable fondness. In former years the government always expected trouble from Its red proteges in "tlz-wln-tlme," and extraordinary precau tions were taken to hold the savages In check during those particular periods. A Royal Martyr to Rt'qnette. In Spain the etiquette to be observed In the royal palaces was carried to such length aa to make martyrs of their kings. There Is an historic instance. Philip III. was gravely seated by the fire; the firemaker of the court had kindled eo great a quantity of wood that the monarch was nearly suffocated wltl1 neat and 0,8 Rrandeur would not suffer him to rise from the chair; the domestics could not presume to enter the apartment, because it wire against tne etiquette. At length the Marquis do Totat appeared, and the klntr or- ! dered him to damp the fires; but he excused himself, alleging that he was forbidden by the etlqucote 'to perforin such a function, for which the Due d'Usseda ought to be called upon, as it was his buslnf&s. The duke was gone out; the are Durnea nercer, and the iking endured It rather than dercte from h!s dignity. But his blood was heated to such a degree that he was seriously HI the next day. A violent fever succeeded which carried him off in the twenty-fourth year of his age. London Star THE EXCELLENCE OF SYRUP OF FIGS is due not only to the originality and simplicity of the combination, but also to the care and skill with which it is manufactured by scientific proces&es known to the California Fio Syrup Co. only, and we wish to impress npon all the importance of purchasing the true and original remedy. As the genuine Syrup of Figs is manufactured by the California Fio Svrup Co. only, a knowledge of that fact will assist one in avoiding the worthless imitations manufactured by other par ttcs. The high standing of the Cali fornia Fio Syrup Co. with the medi cal profession, and the satisfaction which the jrenuine Syrup of Figs lias given to millions of families, makes the came of the Company a guaranty of the excellence of its remedy. It is far in advance of all other laxatives, as it acts on the kidneys, liver and bowels without irritating or weaken ing them, and it does not gripe nor nauseate. In order to get its beneficial effects, please remember the name of ihe Company California fig syrup co. SAX rKARCIBCO, CmL MtrnmuE, . saw tbjc jl v. MBS. PINKHAMS-ADVICE. What Mrs. Ken Hurst haa to Say About It Deab Mrs. Pctkraii: When I wrote to you I had not been well f of five years; had doctored all the time bnt got no better. I had womb trouble very bad. My womb pressed backward, causing piles. I was in such misery I could scarcely walk across the floor. Men struation was irregular and too pro fuse, was also troubled with leucorrhoea. I had given up all hopes of petting well; everybody thought I had consumption. After taking five bottles of Lydia E. Pink ham's Vegeta ble Compound, I felt rery much better and was able to do nearly all my own work. I continued the nseof your medi cine, and feel that I owe my recovery to you. I cannot thank you enough for your advice and your wonderful medicine. Any one doubting my statement may write to me and I will gladly answer all inquiries. Mrs. Nell Hcrst, Deep water, Mo. Letters like the foregoing, con stantly being received, contribute not a little to the satisfaction felt by Mrs. Pinkham that her medicine and counsel are assisting women to bear their heavy burdens. Mrs linkham'saddrcssis Lynn, Mass. All Buffering women are invited to write to her for advice, which will be given without charge. It is an ex perienced woman's advice to wDmen. OUR BOYS AND GIRLS THIS IS THEIR DEPARTMENT OF THE PAPER. Qaalnt Bayfaas and Cnte Dolnsa o." the Little Everywhere, Oathercd aad Pi-lated Here for All Other Lit tle Omea to Read, TH Hill ef Cellar Door. I know a Bill sot far away Where children always love to piny: The hill is straight, and smooth, ami low-. For little felks 'tis better so. The coasting there is very nice. Without the ccld cf snow and ice Tou slide in Bumpier, fell or spriu.. Hat need not bother sleds to bring. It is the safest hill I've found; Sometimes you tumble to the gronnd. But 'tis net far you have to full. And would not hurt a child at all. It's very near your home, and so Tour mother'll always let yen go, Fer then she knews you're right near by And sae can hear you If you cry. So Bp you acramble. down you slide. And eh, yon have a jolly ride; Tou always want to play some more Upon the Hill of Cellar Door. Montreal Herald. A I ishonet Pass. A trae story of a farmer's dog which has been found guilty of obtaining goods under false pretenses, has recent ly been told. The animal Is extremely fend of biscuits and has been taught by his owner to go after them for himself, carrying a written order in his mouth. Day after day he appeared at the chan dler's shop, bringing his master's order, and by-nnd-by the shopman became careless about reading the document, Finally, when settlement day came, the farmer complained that he was charged with more biscuits than he ordered. The chandler was surprised, and the next time the dog came in with u slip of paper between his teeth he took the trouble to look at It. The paper was blank, and further Investi gation showed that whenever the dog felt a craving for a biscuit, he looked around for a piece of paper and trotted off to the shop. Oolden Rule Arithmetic. "Ph.il," whispered Kenneth Brooks, 'I've got a secret to teil you after school." "Nice?" asked Phil. "Yes," was the answer; "nice for me." "Oh!" said Fhll. and his eyebrows fell. He followed Kenneth around be hind the school house after school to hear the secret. "My Uncle George," said Kenneth, "has given me a ticket to go and see the man that makes canary birds fire off pistols and all that Ever seen him?" "No," said Phil, hopelessly. "Well, It's first rate, and my ticket will take me in twice," said Kenneth, cutting a caper of delight. "Same thing both times T" asked Phil. "No, sir-ee; now tricks every time. I say. Phil," Kenneth continued, struck with the other's mournful look, "won't your Uncle George give you one?" "I ain't got any Uncle George," said Phil. "That's a fact How about your mother, Phil?" "Oan't afford It," answered Phil, with his eyes on the ground. Kenneth took his ticket oat of his pocket and looked at it; H certainly promised to admit the bearer Into Mo zart Hall two afternoons. Then he looked at Phil, and a secret wish stole Into his heart that he hadn't said any thing about his ticket; but after a few minutes' struggle, "PlsCi" he cried, "I wonder If the man wouldn't change this and give me two tickets that would take you and me In one time?" Phil's eyes grew bright, and a happy little smile crept over his broad little face. "Do you think he would?" he asked eagerly. "Let's try," said Kenneth, and the cwo little boys started off to the office window at the hall. m .- S "But, Kenneth." said Phil, stopping short, "It ain't fair for me to take your ticket." "It Is, though," answered his friend, stoutly, " 'cause I'll get more fun from going once with you than twice by my self." This settled the matter, and Phil gave In. "So you want two tickets for one time?" said the agent. ' "Tea, sir," sadd Kenneth, taking off his sailor hat to the great man, "one for me and one for Phil, yon know." "Yon do arithmetic by the Golden Role down here, dont yon?" asked the ticket mart "Ifo, sj& ws ose Barnard Smith "s" I ZlvWi answstea1 th boy. And they didn't know for a leng time wht that man bwM by Golden Hole. Untea felgnal. Jnveulle Saytaare. JJttJe S-year-old Tommy had been looking at the now moon for some time, acd Anally asked: "Mamma, did Ood make that moonTf "Certainly, my boy," replied the mother. 1 suppose," continued the little fellow, 'h eat the old one up into stars, didn't he?" "Papa," aald little 4-year-old Margie, "I think yea are jost the aieeat man In the whole world." "And think you arc the nicest little girj In tk world," replied her father. "Ceiuj'se I am." sale Margie- "Ain't t queer how suen nice people happened to get into the same family T Clara had been tobl that babies were from the dust ef the earth. One day when the rain was falling In torrents she steed gazing sadly out ef the win dow. "Why, Clara, what makes you look so sad?" asked her mother. " 'Cause," she replied, "I've been want ing for a little brother to play with, and new there won't Ite any dust left to make one." Mamie, aged S, was present at dinner ths other evening when a number of guests were being entertained by her parents, and during, a lull in the con yersatioa she began to talk very earn estly. "Why do you talk so much, Mamie?" asker her father. "Ta"e I's dot somefln' to say," was the innocent reply. A little' 5-year-old nils slipped and fell at a muddy street crossing the oth w day and a geuUeuian passing by has tened to her assistance. After brush ing her clothing as well as he could he offered to escort her home. "No. thank yon," sepUed the little lady with dlg ltyi w haven't been Introduced, and It would be quite Improper." Soate children are naturally itfcllned to take a practical view of things. A little fellow, aged 4, was repeating a prayer af.T his mamma, ending with "God bless papa, mamma, grandma, brother and sister, aud everybody." "Mamma," aald he, "if we had said 'ev erybody' at the start it wouldn't have taken up so much of God's time." THE WICKED KNORT- Be Make More Trouble in Lapland than the Mosquito. The sun was shining brightly through the window of the little wooden hut as I tumbled out of bed on August 10, last year. Three days' tramp from the Nor wegian coast across rough fields and spongy bogs, one long day of rowing and shooting rnplds. varied with spells of walking round the dangerous falls, has brought us late the night Ucfore to this little settlement In Lapland. The dozen inhabitants, part Swedes, part Lapps, were already hard at work on their scanty harvest, nnd beyond the small field I caught a glimpse of the river, here widening out into a glitter ing lake, shining like a sheet of silver, scarcely ruffled by a breath of wind. What a morning for a bath! How glo riously refreshing to travel-tired limbs! "Look out!" cried Jack, "the room's full of them! Light up, quick!" H'sh the air was suddenly shrill with the high-pitched, hungry, whistle of the mosquito. The window I had observed before was tightly closed Indeed, would not open; the wide platform fire place was stuffed up w'th green boughs. Perhaps my brother hud opened the door too boldly, and had been lost lu admiration of the snow line mountains In the distance, or the creatures had worked a way down the chimney. At any rate, to the cover of the bedclothes I flew, and for five minutes nothing was heard from us but the steady puff puff of our lips as we filled the room with clouds of stupefying tobacco smoke. One sometimes hears people who have only met the mosquito In Its milder form, perhaps in Norway, or central Sweden, or in southern countries, or possibly In Lapland In favorable years. or late In the season, maintain that Its terrors are much exaggerated. I have not found It so. The worst accounts that I had heard of It before I visited the country did not come anywhere near the reality. Aud even if the mos quito crop be n comparative failure in any season, there is a far more deadly insect waiting for you. a harmless-look ln little sandfly, which the natives call a knort. The mosquito Is a gentleman by comparison. He fights under the rules of civilized warfare; hostilities are openly declared, a shrill blare of trumpets heralds his approach. True, he descends upon you In overpowering hosts, but from the fierce blast when he first sights his foe to the savage thrust of his lance through your skin there is nothing secret or underhand about him. Not so the little knort. In ones and twos he creeps stealthily upon you; there is no whistling of wings, no pa rade of skirmishing round the victim. Quietly he works his way into your clothing, where he seems as much at home as any of the wingless vermin, which, fortunately, are comparatively rare In Lapland. His bite is practically painless; you rarely notice It at the time, but on the second day It swells into a big burning wound, to rub or chafe which is intolerable agony. Bad minton Magazine. Schley and Sampson. It is said that when Schley and Sampson were young officers on board the same ship a number of years ago the latter ordered severe punishment Inflicted on a marine for an offense of 'hlch the man was guiLtless. Schley protested, a quarrel endued and the man who Is now commodore slapped Sampson's face. Siuce then they have never been friends. yearneM Cannot Re Cured by local applications as they cannot reach the itficased portion of the ear. There is only one way to cure deaf ncsa, and that ts by constitu tional remedies. U afnesn is caused by an -n darned condition of the mucous ilningof the (eustachian Tube. When this tube gets in flamed ytm have a rumbling soujid or imper fect hearinR, and when it Is e'.tirely closed Deafness i. the result, and unless the Inflam mation can be taken out and this tube re stored to its normal condition, hearing will be 3eatroy d for.-ver. Nine cases out of ten are :ansed by catarrh, which is nothing butan in tamed ondition of the mucons surfaces. We will give One lluud.ed Hollars for any ase of Deafnos (caused by catarrh) that can tot be enred by Hall's 1 atarrh i ure. Send 'or circulars, free. . J. Chenev A Co., Toledo, O. Sold by Druggists "fio. Hall's Family Tills are the best. flood sense is like I rail h the same now that it was when the first man walked on the face of tha earth. Beauty la Blood Deep. Clean blood means a clean skin. No beauty without it. Cascarets, Candy :ithirtlc clean your blood and keep tt clean, hv Mirrlng up the Inzy liver and driving all Impurities from the bo. iv. Bei-in to-day to banisn pimples, bolls, blotches blackhead", and that sickly billou complexion by taking C'a'carets beauty for t--a cents. All drugguis, atliiaction guaran teed, luc, 26c., 50c. Those people who think there is no honesty in the world have been studying themselves too closely. Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Pyrup for children teething, softens the gums, reducing lDflamma lion, allays psln. enrea wind colic 25c a bottle. Ho is an unphilosophical man who permits his dinner to cool while he medi tates wWre ha shall obtain bis sapper. 9m wjkMfsens From the JUgister-GaieU Dnrlngth. evU waraearly a. nh hero ism wasehowaby the women of " ' as b, the brave solders. Many - woman weeping fer her 4d so., boand -P he weunds of hi. safferl" eoiaradesokdng i. . v- .1 renvw itreagth, a even while lortheone - who was gone. At that time was laid P- datiea for the world- 0 Mm MtcttUfitid. famed, er- gaalMttea kaown as the Woman's Belief Carn,wbeee aM.tathe soldier ef to-day, AKhW acaioet the world fer a flvinir, la no iJSTotaWe taaa the heroism at the early 'SVs. One of the most earnest members of the eorps at Byroa, 111., la Mm. James Houae wsart, but irtaeee oaee put a stop to her a-itivewerk. A year er so a, when she was Bearing y yet of aa. the time when wemen must be most earelul of tneir strength. Mm. Hoaseweoit was taken aeriouBly 111. The family physician told her that she had reached a erttleal period of her life, a4 must be vesy careful. His prescriptions and treatment did not benefit her, aad ether treatment prove un availing. , At hist Dr. Williams' Pink Fills for Pale People were brensht to her notice, with Indisputable evideooe that they were help ful In easvs sneh aa hem, and with renewed hope she tried the remeeVy. Last Hares, she took the flint box of the pills, which gave much relief, due was determined to te cured, and kept on with the medicine, uuttl now eight boxes have been oengumed, aud she feels like a new woman. Mrs. Houeeweart said: "I have taken only eight boxes, but I have been improv ing since I tuok the first dose. I do not believe I ceald have lived without the pills. Tbey certainly have doue me more i;ood than any physician or any medicine I havH ever trieii." Ir. Williams' Piuk Pills are sold in boxes (never io loose bulk) at 50 cents a box or six boxes for f 2.50, and may be had of all druxsis-ts, or dlreot by mail from Dr. Williams' Medicine Co., Schenectady, N. Y. EFFECT OF GOOD DISCIPLINE. Three Hundred Ship Paeaensera Faved Within Len than Thirty Minn tea. A correspondent sends us the follow ing account of a shipwreck apropos of the recent sinking of La Bourgogne. I She eays that a number of years ago, when yulte a child, she was a passenger on a steamer of the Hamburg-American line, from New York to Europe, which in a dense fog struck on -a ledge near Cnpe Race, Newfoundland. It was 3 o'clock In the morning when the steamer struck, and her 300 passengers were asleep. They were instantly aroused nnd told to dress ns quickly i as they could. When the first-csibin i passengers came from their state-rooms ; they found that the stewards had hot coffee on the dlnlng-saloon tables, that ! at one and the same time to allay their fears and to give their physical systems the immediate sustenance they requir ed. They were then sent on deck, and were quickly but qnletly assigned to the different boats, which were low ered as rapidly, but as orderly, as possible, the ship's officers throwing down blankets taken from the cal lus into the boats after they were launched, as a means of giving protection to some of the younger children, who had been hurried out with hardly any cloth ing upon them. From the rime that the ship struck to the time that she sank in the oceau was less than half all hour, yet when she sank every one had left her, and, although there was the discomfort of staying In the crowded open boats for nearly twenty-four hours before land ing, not one life was lost out of the nearly !WX) passengers and crew on board. This result, in our correspond ent's opinion, was due to the discipline that prevailed, the entire coolness of the ship's officers, who gave their or ders as to what should be done with out even raising their voices. The stor age passengers, she says, were much excited nnd alarmed, but eTen thfse were quieted and kept under complete control by the obvious coolness and confidence of the ship's officers, who seemed to know precisely what to do as well as how to do it. According to the more recent report I.a Bourgogne was aHoat for forty min utes after the collision; that is, quite ten minutes longer than the time dur ing which the vessel was afloat In our correspondent's experience. Boston Herald. To Cnre a fold In One Day. T ike Laxtive Brom.i Quinine Tablets. All Druggists refund inmey if h fl.s to cure. 25c Our siifety is not chiefly in strength of will, but in cleaving to a holier com panionship which shall arouse the better elements of the soul. n. H. (Jrken's Pons, of Atlanta, Ga., are the only successful Iirepsy Specialists in the world. See their liberal offer In advertisement in an other column of Oils paper. Tower, unless managed with gentle ness and discretion, does but make a man ti e more hated. No intervals of good humor, no starts of bounty, will atone fro tyranny and oppression. Ton't Tobacco Spit and Smoke Tonr Life Away To qnit tobacco easily and forever, he imr netlc, full of life, nerve and viifor, take No-To-Hac, the wonder-worker, that makes weak men Ftrong. All druggists, 54lc. or $1. Cure guaran teed. Booklet and sample free. Adflres Ster ling Remedy Co., Chicauo or New York. There are two freedoms the false, where the man i fece to do what he likes, the true, where a man is free to do what he ought. ETJPTT7IBB Cure Gmnrntoe-i by DK J. K. MAYKR.IOU AKCH ST., I'HILA.. PA. Kiwe :it once; no operation or delay -iroin busint-s?'. C'O 'suttatlon tree. Endorsements of physicians, ladles and prominent citizens. Send for circular. Oilice hours 9 A.M. to IP. M. The most happy man is he who knows how' to bi-ing inti relation the end and tlio beginning of his life. Educate Tonr Bowels with faaearrts. Candy Cathartic, enre cnntinat on forever 10c., ISc. If CCC. fall, druggist refund money. To be happy is of far loss consequence to the woishippeis of fashion than to ap pear so. 1 believe fiso'r Cure for Consumption jawed my uoy a 11 le ibni summer. r. ALm DOOQ Lass, Le Roy, Mich., Oct. 2ft, luai. . i If you would have the daily bread ) i:sto fvr-ot, by your own efforts earn that which you eat. ! 1 No To-Bae For Fitly Cents, n ti ri ti ImwI tilkti rtrt hahit euro raakea wontr men atrung, blood pure. 60c, 1. All druggists. A cood man finds good wherever he goes, because the good in him brings out good in ethers. , Flta nermanentlv cured. No fits or nervous. nets after first day's ne of Dr. Kline's Great Nerve Kestoi er. Vi. trial Dome ana tnmtise Iree. DR. It. H. Kline, Ltd., Kil Arch Su, I'hUa. Pa. Aa much bitterness and hate can Be expressed in a word, as can be fired out ) of a gun. ( To Cnre Conatlpatlon Forever. Take Cascareta Candv Cathartic. 10c or 2Se. If J. C. C fall to cure, droggnta refund money. fi l1An.1l InHnf lnnb- tint t tin Ti wttli scorn; without it wealth of all its power is snorn. ST ma f umta wntHt au ELSE lAI. CooKh errup. Tastes Good. In time. Sold by d rural srsy?sr H PORTO lCO Oe-eral Information Att. I.I aa In Paraatrap" Porto Blco lies seventy mfles ea-t of thirty-seven broad, and baa a con fine of about 309 miles. The island was discover ll, Columbus aid In U 2?, Juan was founded and aettlad by Foacs Cbuly considered tH. laUd is a valuable action. " tlonally wan watered appearance Is beatrtlftH. Ts loTrtnda consists of extensive savanmas qpoa wWah large herds of catHa ar. pa stapla. of the Island ar sugar, molasses and coffee, alsa cotton, malss and rlee are exXenelveiy cultivate. The Encyclopedia Brltaanloa deoUr. the exports of Forto IU th" double In value those of Jamaica. San Joan, the principal town of Porta Blco, Is well 1M out and Is one of the healthiest cWos In the West Indies. Ths pealaon In peace time Is abmt zu. ooo. . The city of Ponce, sscand In size Jto San Juan, has a population f about 17,000. It Is lighted by and has other modern conveniences. It is con nected by cable wr Jamaica and by telegraph with the other large cities of route IUco. rorto Rico has a'salubrious climate. Being almost wholly agricultural, tha Island Is capable of splendid develop--ment. The Island Is governed by a captain general with headquarters at San Juan, ne is assisted by a Junta of military officers. StrategeOcally, Porto Rico Is admira bly situated. It commands the Mena and Virgin passes, the highways of trade to and from the coast of North ern South America and Central Ameri ca. It would hold a commanding place should the Nlcaraguan Canal be con structed, for It is the doorway to the Caribbean Sea. The population of Porto Rico Is about 050,000, of whom not more than 70,000 are native Spaniards. ' The foreign trade of the Island In 1896 amounted to $36,500,000. The foreign trade is chiefly with Spain. The United States. Germany, Great Britain, Cuba and France com bined hold about 28 per cent, of the trade. RAM'S HORN BLASTS. Warnina- Notes Calling- the Wicked to Repentance. TIME whets the sword of Justice. Truth wins her battles In the open. Fancy makes & poor pillow for a dying head. ' A whining re ligion is not a shining rerfglon. It scares soma people to see brains and piety get married. God accepts no bribes. Pluck can outrun luck. Tolicy sits on the fence. Error fights from ambush. Grit and grace win the race. Principle flies no flag of truce. Troubles strengthen true faith. Some big men are very small In God'i sight Christ towers above all the great men of history, like an Alpine peak. "What better is a sinning man ot woman in the church than a sinning sinner outside of the church? Do you suppose that God thinks any more of a baptized sinning sinner than of au unbaptized one? The question Is not what number of blessings you have experienced, but are you that "blessed" man of Ps. 1:1? You might have a multitude of the ories about a plurality of blessings, but do you live without committing known sins? Don't wait for God to chase yon Into the home of the saved with a fire brand, but study faithfully Heb. 1:9 and do ttkewlse. This world will soon pass away, or, If it does not we will, and nothing but God's righteousness will avail at the Judgment seat of Christ. A sectarian preacher Is prismatic! he splits the light of truth into parts 1 and thus presents the blue of uncharit nbleness, the yellow of brazen bigotry, and the green of envy. Comments of the Cheerrul Man. The cheerful man came Into break fast late the other morning. The stout lady opposite, who always comes down to breakfast In a wrapper, was com plaining that the table was too crowd ed. "I must have another leaf put In, 6ba said. "Ah, an autumn leaf very appropri ate," said the cheerful man. "No, Just a plain, hard board," said the stout lady. "Plain, hard board," said the cheerful man. . "More appropriate still." Then he suddenly remembered that the stout lady was the landlady's sis ter, and put salt on his buckwheat cake. Washington Post. Kefmlng a Slander. Wttle Flossie For shame! Always tied to your mamma's apron strings Proud Gcrtle-ril have yon to know my mamma doesn't wear aprons. We have a hired girl. Philadelphia Amer ican. Discovery of Tea. Tea, according to Chinese writers, was discovered in the eiirhfh The Dutch Introduced It Into Europe ,SXannelehrar,road, M A Ban-qnlt. Brevity is the 8oufof. CoocVWVif sr anv a a Be St SB a uu ueea. SAPQLIO?.. GERMAN EWQAtTMEHT ftOTMjay . Tha toto w4a sammeat BoUc an, ' pmrsd tha othtr r in Oa tt ter Zed tuna; : "Hsjbect WQrfttstl c3 of tftt entb Vba Pvnmsshtnte I kmtfb awinnarlngr rea9ttu2af4oflraj of tha Boyal Bavarian OWur or tg ' House Knlirbta oB. Gff rejaj n variaa, chamlxsrlata, gives MttarVi&si ttoe hamwith in U own aad hr tka nim of hla wife, tha Mffc-hora Cots ' ees TJraHU Vn EtfoaurieUhelm, otk ' approaching marrraf of his o ' ' laM wife, now rest In OSd, tU Ugh. ' bbrs CeXB&m Frledenrilte, CouutesrVoa I wA. ... . JJJVnxnantfMUSJan, uew wuuien oi L&t senbsnsg-Anaheim -flaOglrter, the hla born Count Blabeth Von Drommefc shekn, with the hlgh-well-norn Bares) Von md-sm Xsuanlrarg, royal Bavarian. UeaUnaat of tha reserve in the Tenth ReaTtnioat royal Bavarian genUeom et tha chamber and knight of the royal Bavarian Order of tha Bouse of Knights of St George, bob of the Ugh. weil-bom baron of tha empire, Fried, lch Von und eu Nenenburg, royal Wurtennbnrg chamberlain, eoaunanasy (ceorth.ur) of tha royal Bavarian Ordet of Hoose Knighta of St Gearge, and oi his late wife, resting In Ood. the hls and-weU-born Baron HiMegani Vot und cu Nauenbtirg, aea Bireoaai of Uohe&-Kapnbarg.M Finds a Reilo or nTafo1eon. A rello of Napoleon In the shape ef a portion of the cockade worn by hla at the battla of Rivoll ha been found la Brooklyn among tha effects of Mils; Marie Poacy, who perished In La Bour gogne dleatften. Miss Poacy was a gov ernsas In N.erv York and had made ar rangiaea,ta to spend tha summer la Paris. She left her books and other effects In the cars of Mr. aud Mrs. Louis Jacquard, of 120 Cleveland street, Brooklyn. The Najwleon memento was discov ered by Mr. Jacquard while he was preparing to send Mtes Poncy's effects to her sister In Geneva. It Is framed In a medallion and bears this label: "Fragment du penache de Bonaparv a la baitaille de Rivoll, Le 14 Janvlej 1797." The cockade was given to Josephlns by Napoleon soon after their marriage, and over fifty years ago the fragment came into (he possession of Miss Pon cy's lather. musness "I have need yonrvalnable CASC.- nffiXS and Und them perfuct. Couldn't do without them. I have used tbein forfonte time for indigestion and biliousness and am new com Slctely cured. Kecotnmend them, to every one. nce tried, you will never be without thefh In the family." Euw. A. Haui, Albany, N. Y. CANDY CATHARTIC Pleasant. Falalable. Potent, Taxte OonA. po Good, Merer Bieken. Weaken, or Gripe. 10c. 20o. Sue ... CURE CONSTIPATION. ... Slrlta( baWr Ciiaaay, rateaf. !. tffc. an M.Tfl Rift Bold and ranrnntped hy alldrng- I U-DAb (lata to Ct itK Tobacco Habit. E 4 Wsct Typa ofth Hightti Order of Sxceflencw in Manufacture. " wa.feiBaWo:s Breakfast coa Absolutely Pure, Delicious, Nutritious. .Costs Less Ban HE cent a Cup.. Be sure that yoe get the Genuine Article, mada at DORCHESTER, MASS, by WALTER BAKER & CO. Ltd. ErrAausHBS 1780. for Firry YEARS I mrs. wmstows SOOTHING SYRUP has been naed b cbildrea while It aootheathec lerafot their oEkfn. frt. Aa Vm Vjabr A. u pam ,sv: md.ribr diarrhoea. ur lor aiarraose, Tweatv.Sva Caata n Raaala. EXPEOTAHT .MTHFRS Whyauffnrnntolil rain and torture In cUUUl rtli wlu.n it ran be made safe, anre and eaay by 1111 g .'IITt'lmt.I.A ( Olirill NII (Indoraed by lad ing physioiaua. Thousand of teatlm.iiiln). Sent prepaid on receipt of price, Sl.uo. Write tor our book. " lad Tidinc ta .Mothera," km Irra. I.ADY IUE.VTs WANTfcU-UOOO PAV. Addrane: DU, J. H. DTK KEOIOAL INSTITt'TR, P- A. BcrraLO. N. Y. -PATENTS-- Proenred on caah. oreaay inMalaaeiil.VuWLi:S a JtUiUiB, latent Attoruaya, tag Uroadway. . 1. DROP QY" DISCOVERY; - UMmJtt v.0' bk ""nial. and I O day' iig'triailltiri ion. Atlanta .SB. W1?-"?0' bau'health that niPA W Co Ke T..n? S1"1 5 Hlnana t'henitcal ' ' or 10 end loo!) watlnionlala If afflicted vtth M Thompson'. Ey W.tif ore eyes. Lagnlappe. In reading the stories of New Or leans life that hlva hn . from time to time during th inot tow I years by Ruth McEnery Stuart and oth I er writers familiar with the conditions me " that Southern city, the reader Is struck by the use of the term "lag niapDe." It is to purchasers at the markets or shops; ouri 01 premium, as It were. It may be confectionery, fruit, or some trifling article, bnt it is expected and given a a matter of course. Alcana hX,,h?.,8tarted to "na "Jy- naa an Idea " -lI.knW ,t" sne taterrupted; "why don t you take a day off some time antf J ouartj up another one?" pyjr '..T"f..tf1- j,-fc.:avaj ''fi'ff - m-' -t-aracJ eftaUaV.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers