Newspaper Page Text
B. F. BOHWEIER,
THE OON8TITDTION-THE UNION AND THE ENFORCEMENT OF THE LAWS.
MIFFLINTOWN. JUNIATA COUNTY, PENNA.. WEDNESDAY. JUNE 26. 1895.
Lady Dorrington was exceedingly anj
ions that both Mrs. Kuthven and he
brother should visit her at the shootin
lodge which Lord Dorrington rented i
Bcotland. She feared the effect of hfl
heavy loss on the wealthy widow's mini;
and sue was anxious tnat ner uruiui-
should not lose his chance. She could no
nnderstand why Clifford did not strik
home and win the prize. The keen
worldly woman had a very soft spot i;
her heart for her brother who so ofu
suffered her. To see him nnd the famil;
istate free from debt would fulfill he
heart's desire, and she thought Mrs. Kutl
ven a charming little woman, well fittei
to be lady of the manor. Lady Dorrln:)
ton's geese were apt to become swaulib
In proportion to their utility. "As to ha
having a dash of the tar-brush it I
nonsense," she would say to those detrac
tors who urged this objection. "Botl
her father and mother were Europeans
lomo faraway grandfather was an Io
lian prince that Is no disadvantage It
Hut no amount of pressing could Indua
Mrs. Ruthven to quit the murky rnetrori
oils. She had heard of a charming villi
on the river at Twickenham, aud she wa
anxious to purchnse it. This, and hef
flread of the northern climate, copellef
her to refuse her dear Lady Dorrington.
Marsden, having cnlled twice withoK
having been admitted, had not agnin pre
lented himself, yet Mrs. Ruthven did not
Jnd time hang heavily on her hands. Shi
went more than once to see her man ol
business respecting the purchnse she wish)
ed to make, for she was keenly Interested
in financial matters and easer to get tlij
full worth of her money, aud she had i
long and exceedingly confidential inters
view with Waite after his return froj
At the end of a fortnight from the dati
f the robbery Shirley announced his r
turn, after, he said, having seen his sist
tart for the Riviera, for Mrs. Ruth vet
had really been out when he colled.
It was a dull but dry morning an
Mrs. Ruthven was sitting In a low chai:
beside the fire, talking to aite, who hm
been reading over some memoranda ti
"I think I have formed a distinct plr.
aow," he said, after a pause, "by wine
I hope at least to unravel the plot,
must dog the suspected culprit by day an
"You must," she returned.
"It will be costly, madanie."
"I cannot help that; only find out th
There was another pause-
"Ton are not n Englishman?" eai
Airs. Ruthven suddenly.
"A naturalized Englishman. My moth
it was English."
"And your father?"
"A Tole. I resided both In Gormanj
nd France In my youth, and am able U
peak several languages, which I find verj
"I expect Captain Shirley here imtne,
llately. Ve must deal cautiously witfj
Mm," Mrs. Ruthven resumed. "He U
very shrewd and suspicious, and will, 1
know, disapprove of my applying to yor
Without his interposition."
"Then he should not have run off t
Dstend when he might have been want)
d." said AVuite grimly. "Time in siwlj
matters Is valuable, ns I dare sny bV
knows, and we have lost a good deal."
"Now, Mr. Waite, after you and Cap
min Shirley have seen each, other, 1
should like to test your power of di9
"I am ready to submit to any test yoi
"Good. I shall arrange for Captaii
Shirley to call upon me to-morrow, and
you shall appear in n different character
Will yon venture so much ?"
"It might nnswer another purpose also,
ihe resumed, thoughtfully. "At al
ivents, you must appear to go abroad."
"That might nnswer, though there ait
TOOUgh hiding places in London to shekel
most rogues, and the lc-s a secret ii
fenced with precautions the safer it oftej
Here Mrs. Ruthveu's courier brought
aer a card.
"Oh! Captain Shirley. Yes, I will s&
aim. Be with me here at seven this even,
lug," she said, low and hurriedly. "1
will give you some important directions.'
Waite bowed as "Captain Shirley" wal
"So you really have come back?
thought you had deserted me," said Mr
Ruthven, with languid graciousness, cJ
he stretched out her hand.
"My absence was, you may be sure, ur
tvoldable, he returnea, witn a quick in
quisitive glance at the detective.
"This," said Mrs. Ruthven, "is the
celebrated Mr. Waite."
"Oh, Indeed!" His brows knit them
(elves for a moment. "Then you haw
found him for yourself."
"I have. When in doubt, play a trump,
ind my trump ha always been self
"No one can help themselves bcttel
And what have yon done?"
"As yet but very little. Eh, Mr. Waite ?1
"It is a difficult case. very. I have,
owever, formed some idea."
"Indeed!" cried Bhirley, eagerly. "Anl
at Is "
"Not to be talked about at present. 1
shall only say that my suspicions point
to a foreigner, whom I shall hare to fob
low. Perhaps, sir, you would be so goo
as to tell me what you remember of tin
ball I mean the night Mrs. Ruthven'f
rubles were stolen?"
"Oh! my recollections are of little use,
I was Dot dancing, but finding the heat
oppressive, I went outside, and, seeing
on. of the servants, asked him to bring
me a case of cigarettes from the smok
lng room, which were remarkably good.
So I missed being of any nse at the firs!
discovery of the outrage."
"Pray, was this servant one who waited
"So. he was a sort of under-butler."
"Was he English?"
"I think not"
"There were various strange servants
engaged for a short time," put in Mrs,
Ruthven, "as the party was got up sud-
"Have you any Idea If this man was
Vrench or Dutch?"
"Not in the least."
"Or if he were In any way connected
with Mrs. Ruthven's maid?"
"How the devil should I know?" cried
Shirley, angrily. "I never spoke to Mrs.
Uuthven's maid la my ljfe,"
"Of coarse not, of courts not," sai&
the detective, soothingly. Tray, who
told you of the robbery ?"
"Lord Dorrington. No! I now remem
ber he only said Mrs. Ruthven was faint.
It was Mr. Marsden himself who told
me, and I assisted in the search he made
in the shrubbery."
"What was your impression?"
"Oh, It was and is that the Jewels art
irreparably lost I fear there is no chance
of their recovery."
"Have you any Idea of their ralue?"
"No; that la, I am of coarse aware they
ire very valuable, but their exact Worth
I da not think I have ever heard."
"I thought you must have known, be
cause they were so much talked about
n hen I was married, and yon were in the
regiment," said Mrs. Ruthven, with as
sir of unconscious simplicity.
"Well. I do not remember If I did," he
"I have trespassed too long on youi
time," said Waite, bowing deferentially.
"If nothing fresh turns op I shall start
for the continent to-morrow, and your
ddress, madame, will be "
"Oh, I am not sure. I think of staying
while at Folkestone; It would be easy
to see yon there if yon want to consult
me, and London is "?oo Intolerable. Mean
time address to the care of my solicitors."
Waite bowed again and retired.
"lie does not strike me as anything
very wonderful!" said Shirley, changing
Us place to one nearer hers, "and 1 had
loped to have spoken to him first myself.
Yoa are hardly fit to deal with such gent
ry. I had hoped yon had confidence in
"My dear Shirley, this Is nonsense,"
(he interrupted, coolly. "Time was too
valuable to be wasted, waiting while yon
were running after your sister! As to
confidence," looking straight Into his
eyes, "you ought to know me by this
time! I give my full confidence to no
one; we can be useful to each other, but
sentimental nonsense would neutralize
all that. Now I am resolved, in this mat
ter of the rubies, to have nothing to do
with any one but Waite. When I have
anything of importance to tell and choose
to tell it to you I wllL Yon may be of
fended with me or not as yon like. I am
ready to remain your friend, bnt I in no
way fear you aa an enemy. I will spare
nothing and no one to get to the bottom
of this mysterious affair."
"Yon are an extraordinary woman, yon
always were," said Shirley, looking at
her earnestly, distrustfully. "You wound
me In every way, yet I cannot break with
"It is wiser not nor is it necessary; you
have no reason to quarrel with me."
Shirley resumed after a moment's si
Jonce: "I suppose Marsden Is In town.
Does he know you have secured this treas
ure of a detective?"
"No!" sharply. "I thought I totd you 1
did not wish any one to know I was em
ploying any one except those rusty crea
tures, the regular polloft. be silent
"Certainly, if yon wish It"
flere Mrs. Ruthven's servant brought
several letters on a salver. She opened
and glanced at some, closing them up
again carefully, then she said, with a
"Do you remember an English engi
aecr, a Mr. Colvllle, who was employed
on the railway, near Umballa? A better
tort of man, who had a very pretty wife?"
"I cannot say I do. I was a good deal
away that year."
"Well, the pretty wife died when theh
baby was born, and every one was very
much concerned. I was godmother to the
little girl. - He went home, and I lost
light of him; now ha applies to me for
Help to keep his daughter at school."
"I hope yon are not going to throw
away your money without inquiry into
Oie cose?" said Shirley.
"No, I am not quite so impulsive. 1
shall tell him to call and let me hear all
he has to tell. And now I am going to
treat yoa without ceremony, and send you
kway, as I want to write some letters,
ire you disengaged to-morrow?"
"Yes, quite disengaged."
"Then, if you come here at two or half
past, I will drive yoa down to have a
look at the Twickenham villa."
"A thousnnd thanks. I shall be here
When be was gone Mrs. Ruthven re
jpened one of her notes and read: "Yon
are really too hard In your refusal to see
me!" "He has not been so very perse
vering," she murmured, Interrupting her
self "I beg yoa will permit me to enter
your enchanted and enchanting presence
this evening, as I am tempted to believe
I might find some trace of your lost Jewels
among the Jew dealers In Amsterdam. A
friend of mine, an artist, was telling me
yesterday of an old Father Abraham,
who lives in an obscure lane, yet has
marvels of brilliancy and beauty In his
stores, and Is by po means particular aa
to the sources from which he collects
them. Now I propose to visit the patri
arch myself, but should like to have some
talk with you first If I may come, let me
have a word in reply. I do not propose to
be long away, after my plans are well,
yon shall make them for me If yoa will.
Mrs. Ruthven's face changed more than
jnee as she read this. It softened, and
then she flushed, while her eyes gleamed
"I cannot see him to-night; that is out
jf the question, and he shall not go with
ut seeing me. Where has be been? I
wonder if he has been at Eveelelgh, riding
with Nora L' Estrange? I will write to
her; I shall ask him." She seized her pen
ind wrote rapidly:
"Not this evening, dear Mr. Marsden.
am engaged; but come to luncheon with
ne to-morrow at one. I have much to say
o you, and by no means approve your
wasting your time In a fruitfess attempt
to recover my lost jewels.
Marsden, however, bad not been down
a Evesleigh and Nora L'Estrange. He
hud found occupation in London, and time
had not hung heavily on his hands. Mrs.
Ruthven's invitation was far from ac
re p table; he was eager to start on his voy
age of discovery, bnt he felt it would b
more prudent to accept
"I must keep her in good humor fol
tome time longer," he thought as be
penned a pleasantly worded reply. "She
Is a vindictive little animal, and I must
be clear of this trusteeship before 1 ran
venture to show my hand. What a rich
harvest I deserve for my patience and
Uplomacy! Shall I reap it? Yes, iff
vorth trying for."
Mrs. Ruthven was unusually particulal
ibout ordering luncheon, thonirh at no
time was she indifferent as to what she 1
ate and drank, and M to wha.tshe put. pn.
A very becoming costume of dark-bin
plush and cashmere, made her fairly con
tent with herself, while her thick, shining,
auburn-gold hair was crowned hj a dain
ty little lace cap, with pale-bin ribbons.
Marsden was delightfully punctual,
ind. in his admirably cut frock coat with
a delicate button-hole bouquet his high
bred face and beautiful soft, sleepy bin
eyes, looked bo handsome and distinguish
ed that Mrs. Ruthven thought a woman
might be excused for making a fool of hei
self about him.
"And how are yon, dear Mrs. Ruthven,
ifter these long days? What sin did I
commit that yoa forbid me your pres
ence?" exclaimed Manden, holding her
hand tenderly, a moment longer than was
quite conventional, and looking Into her
"Forbid you my presence?" she repeat
td, laughing. "Once when you called I
was really out and once I was really
"Do yoa mean that Is the beggarly as
;ount of all my attempts to see yon?
Why, I was here four, five, six times, at
"Then they omitted to tell met Do not
let us quarrel about the exact number,
Mr. Marsden! tell me some Evesleigh
news. How are your charming relatives
"I really do not know. I have never
heard of them, and I had Intended to hunt
Biankshlre this winter."
"Yoa must not allow yourself to grow
morbid; I shall regret the loss of my pret
ty rubles more than ever! Come, luncheon
Is ready in the next room."
While the servants were in the room
they talked of ordinary subjects, but Mrs.
Ruthven soon managed to get rid of them,
and resisting the temptation of listening
to Maraden's charming voice and flatter
ing speeches, she took the direction of the
conversation into her own hands.
"You must not be long away," she saia.
"I shall want a tolerably large sum of
money soon," and proceeded to tell him
of the opportunity which offered of pur
chasing the desirable villa at Twicken
ham; after enlarging on its merits, ah
"I always wished for a place of that
sort It is so nice for fetes and pretty
recherche parties. Besides, I may as well
jay out some of that money which is lying
idle In the Three-per-Cent so you must
come back in time to pay it"
She looked up suddenly with a smlU
and a keen glance, and Marsden met It
with his usual lazy, good-humored expres
sion. "Very well," he said, "the cash shall be
ready when and where yon will. What
ire you going to give for this new toy?"
"Thirty-three thousand five hundred."
(To be continued.)
Infantile convulsions are traceable to
(great variety of causes, most of which
lose their Influence as the child In
creases in years. Among them may b
Eientioned intestinal irritation wheth
r from Improper food, constipation or
worms flatulence and griping, teeth
'ng, fright and cold.
As may be seen from the characie
jf the causes, convulsions In the young
child ere often only transitory In their
effects, and pass off without involving,
any part of the system In disease, al
though this is by no means always tho
Tt la also apparent that many cases
of convulsions arise from a neglect of
simple hygienic laws, and are amena
ble to correspondingly simple treat
One of the first things to be done in -case
of convulsions Is to alleviate the
irritation of the nervous system, which
Is almost always the cause of the trou
ble. This Is best done by immersing
tho child In a bath of warm water,
which may be made slightly stimulat
ing. If required, by the addition of a
teaspoonful or two of mustard.
We must of course, exercise due car
that the child does not get chilled, and
when taken from the bath he is to be
wrapped In blankets immediately, no
matter what the season of the year,
and put to bed. ne will generally fall
at once Into a quiet slumber.
When the cause of the convulsions Is
ascertained, we should lose no time In
beginning treatment against It
If the bowels are constipated, they
should be relieved by proper medicine,
and the diet so regulated that danger
from this source will be lessened In
Teeth that are pressing upon the
gums sufficiently bard to cause them
to turn blue should be helped along
with the lance.
Nothing can be more efficacious tba
the warm bath in breaking up a cold
or In soothing the nerves of a fright
In children of peculiarly nervosa
temperament great care is sometimes
necessary to ascertain the cause of the
convulsions; a very slight Irritation
often starts a train of events which,
gnless we are fortunate enough to
check it, may Imperil the child with se
rious organic disorder. Youth's Com
panion. Wide Experience.
"Have you had much experience as
"Ol hev, ma'am. Ol had seventeen
places lasht year, ma'am." Harper's
The devil is proud of a grumbler, no
matter whetber he belongs to church
Strength is incomprehensible by
weakness, and, therefore, the more
The tones of human voices are
mightier than strings of brass to move
Nature and certainty are very hard
to come at, and infallibility is mere
vanity and pretense.
The evils of contioversy are transi
tory, while its bonetiU are permanent
Politeness pays the best on what it
actually costs of any investment.
JKat to please thyself, bat dress io
The best equipment for well doing is
in the experience gained from having
done well before. The reward for one
duty is the power to full fill another.
Busybodios are worse tliaa fleas.
Some falls are means the happier to
The amplest knowledge has the
Coquets often fall in love, but
prudes seldom do.
How weak a thing is gentility if it
Be that is never satisfied with
anything satisfies no one.
A weak friend is one of the . worst
enemies a man can have.
TOMB OF LIVINGSTONE'S HEART
Burled Beneath a Tree in Africa Hi
TJody Keata In Weatmlnater Abbey.
The accompanying cut represents the
me landmark in "Darkest Africa" that
has an interest for the entire civilized
world. That landmark is the tree
which enshrines the heart of Dr. Liv
ingstone, and which Is the complement
In the wilderness of his labors, to his
home sepulchre in Westminster abbey.
This discovery Is of special value,
since an effort to place a tablet on the
tree ended! in failure to locate It; and
the discovery was made by E. J. Glare.
Mr. Glave entered upon his work early
In the summer of 1893. From Zanzibar
he made his way to Fort Johnson, near
the southern end of Lake Nyassa. In
the spring of 1894 he was at Karonca,
A ITSIQCB BUBIAI. PLACB.
near the northern extremity of that
lake, on the west shore. Thence, with
no companions except a small party of
natives, he penetrated to the little
known region far to the southwest
about Lake Bangweolo, which were the
cen of Dr. Livingstone's last Journey.
Near the sits of the deserted village of
Chltambo, on the south shore of that
lake, Mr. Gtatv found the tree, at the
base of Which the heart of the great
missionary was burled by his devoted
followers, and on which Jacob Wain
wright the Kasslck boy, who read the
burial service chiseled the words: "Dr.
Livingstone, May 4, 1873. Yazuzo,
Mnlasere. Vchopere." The body, after
such embalming as the natives could
give It was enclosed In canvas, lashed
to a pole, and thus carried to Baga
moyo, on the coast opposite Zanzibar.
It was buried In the center of the nave
of Westminster abbey, on April 13.
SCIENCE AND A LOST DOG.
identification of the Spaniel Gyp b;
SIcans of the Telephone.
Mr. Wleck, of 420 Cleveland avenue,
aas a water spaniel. Gyp by name,
which he prizes. The other day Gyp
strayed away from home. lie wander
ed far down on the South Side, where
he was seen by F. M. Miller, residing
near GOth and Stat streets. Mr. Mllletr
Knowing a good dog, took Gyp home lr
Mr. Wleck advertised the loss of his
log and Mr. Miller answered. As lost
dogs are numerous, Mr. Wleck did not
feel sure that the one about which he
received a letter was his, and to save a
possible fruitless Journey to the South
Side he conceived a plan to Identify his
spaniel without going to him. Be went
to a telephone station at the corner of
Lincoln and Garfield avenues, and Mr.
Miller went with the dog to the Engle
wood telephone exchange. The dog was
placed upon a table, and when the two
men got the line the receiver was plaeed
to Gyp's ear and Mr. Wleck called the
spaniel's name. The dog Immediately
made demonstrations showing that ho
recognized his master's voice. Mr.
W leek's spaniel has a habit of barking
TKK 1DBKTIVICATIOS BT TELEPHOITB.
when any on say "fire." Mr. Wleck
called "fir" over the wire and the dog
began to bark. That settled It Now
Gyp Is at home. Chicago Record.
A POLICEMAN FAILS IN HIS JOKE
Tries to Have Some Fun with Hie Wife
bnt la Neatly Fooled.
A great deal of amusement was caused
m an east-bound electric car the other
afternoon by a waggish policeman, who
selected his wife for his victim. The
policeman had done duty at the ball
lark, and his wife had been to see the
game. While the crowd was leaving
the woman stood about the front of
the park and waited for her husband
to rid up town with him. Be finally
arrived, and the pair boarded A crowd
ed car. Both were young and only re
cently married, and they enjoyed them
selves hugely on the way.
The woman wore a handsome llttlk
fold watch, evidently a present from
her husband. While "half the people
In the car were looking, and while his
wife waa speaking to a woman ac
quaintance outside the car, the police
man deftly took the watch from his
wife's pocket and transferred It to his
pistol pocket When the car reached
18th street the policeman remarked that
It was a few minutes past 6 o'clock,
ind everybody In the car looked at th
Of course ah did what everyone In
& car expected she would. She felt
for her watch. It seemed as If a sud
den violent pain had attacked the wo
man' heart Her face became very
pale and her eye dilated. Her hus
band seemed greatly alarmed, and
isked her what the matter was. She
looked over the crowd In the car like
ft frightened fawn. It was a full mln
Ste before she could speak. Then she
whispered In her husband's ear loud
inough for the. intensely. Interested
spectators to hear: "I have been
touched; some on has stolen my
watch." Her eyes began to grow dim,
and before the policeman could an
swer a big tear rolled down her cheel
and fell into her lap.
"Here is the watch; I was only Joklna
with you," and the policeman felt bact
for his pocket
Then a look of dismay overspread hU
face. The watch had disappeared. H
felt In first one pocket and then an
other, and finally turned ai his pockets
wrong side out He worked rapidly
toward the last and perspired a goo4
deal. Bis wife looked on In ope
mouthed astonishment So did theothei
people in the car. All had smiled and
looked out the- windows of the cat
when the woman first discovered thai
her watch was gone, but when her hus
band failed to produce it after having
told her that he had taken It the peo
ple sat upright and watched the hnn'
for the missing timepiece with great In
Finally a quiet-appearing young man,
who sat In the rear of the car, arose
and banded the watch to the police
man's wife. "I Just wanted to teact
Tour husband a lesson," he said.
And the crowd of passenger gav
vent to a prolonged hearty laugh, and
the policeman and his wife finally Join
ed In the merriment, though they werr
little, slow to appreciate the Joke.
A NEW CHECK-PUNCH.
in Old Idea with Several Terr Im
The scientific American Illustrates a
recently Introduced check protector,
which has several feature of value.
Among them Is a flexible die combined
with a yielding anvil, an arrangement
thatobvlates the necessity of sharpening
the punches. When the perforator la
to be used, an adjustable guide-piece
at one aide makes the check take the
necessary position to have the figure?
FBEVESTS CHECK. "BAI8UO
punched at the right place. The diss
on which are the figures Is then moved
In either direction to bring the first
figure to be punched under the punch
lever, end Is similarly moved for each
succeeding figure. The check Is auto
matically moved along by the feed de
vice In front the latter being raised by
Its finger-piece to 'release the check
Onnrh after punching.
The action or me device is clean and
accurate, and the moving parts Instant
ly respond to the operating lever. By
removing the cover, which 1 readily
done by taking out the three screws hi
the base, access Is readily had to the
whole of the mechanism, which Is not
only quite simple, but durable. Banks
are always glad to see such devices as
this used by their customers; they fur
nish a sure preventive against one kind
of forgery. A check punched In thlr
way cannot be "raised."
History of the Barometer.
Professor G. Bellmann gives a ver
Interesting account of the Invention of
the barometer, which has now been in
use 250 years. TorricelH, who died at
the early age of 39 years, was too busily
engaged In mathematical studies to
publish an account of his discovery, but
on June 11, 1644, he wrote a descrip
tion of it to his friend RiccL This let
ter, and TUccl's objections to the ex
periment were published In 1C63 by C.
Dall, a friend of Torrlcelli's, and, as
this work Is now exceedingly scarce,
Professor Hellmann has reprinted the
correspondence. In the original Italian,
In the below-mentioned Journal. Some
of the paragraphs, "Nature," says art
noteworthy, especially those In which
Torrlcelll states that it was not merely
a question of productlng a vacuum, but
of making an Instrument which wonld
Indicate the changes of the atmosphere.
The first continuous barometrical ob
servations appear to have been made
In France. In England they were first
taken by Robert Boyle, about the year
1059, to whom we owe the Inventlor
of the word "barometer."
Sergeant Sayer once went the circuit
for some Judge who was prevented by
Indisposition going In his turn. He was
afterward Imprudent enough to move,
as counsel, for a new trial In one of the
causes heard by himself, on the ground
of his misdirecting the Jury as Judge.
Lord Mansfield said: "Brother Sayer,
there la an act of parliament which.
In such a matter as waa before you,
gave you discretion to act aa you
thought right" "No, my lord," said
the sergeant "that is Just It; I had no
discretion hi the matter." "Very true,
you may be quite right as to that" said
Lord Mansfield, "for I am afraid even
an act of parliament could not give yon
Methods of Measurement,
It Is said that the Arabs have two
methods of estimating what will be the
height of horses. By the first a cord
Is stretched from the nostrils over the
ears and down along th neck; this
distance Is compared with that from
the withers to the feet The colt will
grow aa much taller as the first dis
tance exceeds the second. By the other
method the distance between the knee
and-tbe withers Is compared with that
from the knee to the coronet If it had
reached the proportion of two to on
he horse will grow no taller.
Why the Twin Were Dieaetlafled.
Nurse Sure, ma'am, the twins hat
een making a fuss all day, ma'am.
Mrs. Olive Branch What about?
Nurse It's because they can't have
a birthday apiece like the Dawson chil
dren next door. Tld-Blts.
Loaded Dice in Hefcalaaean,
Loaded dice have been found In the
ruins of Herculanenm. Those old fel
lows knew a thing or two. New York
SUPPOSE WE SMILE.
HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS FROM
THE COMIC PAPERS.
fleaaaa InataVata Oeearrnar thm
Oil Sajlaaa That Ave Cheerfal
Did er loor-riuj Siln lnas
Bveryaadr WU1 Kay SJaadtas?
Hard on the Woman.
When women dont know what ett
taette would demand they kiss each
tber. Atchison Globe.
Chicken la Trilby.
"Will you have the chicken dressed 7"
isked the poulterer. "No, replied
young Mrs. Hunnlmune; "you may
send It to me er In the altogether."
Not Honey bat the Want of It,
Mrs. Greene Is It true, Charles, that
Miss Hunter married for money!
Mr. Greene I think, my dear, that It
was owing to the want of money.
Wlwt to Do with Oar Dost.
The Best Time.
Nodd My baby looks lovely when h
asleep. You ought to see him.
Todd When shall I call?
Nodd Any time during the day.
How Conld He Know
"i'lty a poor blind man with a large
family!" cried a wayside beggar. "An
how many children have you, unfortu
nate man?" asked a lady In great con
cern. "Bow can I tell, madam? I can't
see 'em." Tld-Blts.
The Etiquette of It.
Mr. Dunn (unpaid bill In his hand)
When shall I come again, Mr. Owens?
Mr. Owens Well, it would hardly be
proper for you to call again until I
have returned the present calL Har
A Well-PreeerveA Man.
ftazzle Old Soak, despite his habits,
4ppeare to be a well-preserved man.
Dazzle Yes, yon fcuow since he lost
his money he has been kept In brandy
by his friends. Life.
The Unhappy Groom.
Friend What makes you write ci
Groom-elect Practicing how to write
Jlbson and wife on a hotel register
without having the clerk ask me If
we're newly married. Syracuse Post
Of Heroic Mold.
Mr. Flgg Do you know, my boy, that
ft hurts me worse than It does you
when I give you a whipping?
Tom Honest paw?
"Just gimme another lick In' now,
will you, paw?" Cincinnati Tribune.
An Injustice to tho Btoriea.
Th fact that Mr. Depew Is only Ci
ears old makes it clear that some of
his stories were inherited. Washing
A Circus Joke Without Words.
Biggest Bee Hive in the World.
The largest bee hive In the world is
probably that at Bee Rock, OaL It Is
a granite bowlder, rising abruptly from
the bed of a little affluent of the Ar
roya Alcade, and it I seamed and
scored with fissure of divers sizes.
They are all Inhabited by a vast pop
ulation of be and overflow with
P. OB. TI
fhe Brooklyn Divine's Sunday
Subject: '-Expurgation of the Scrip
tures." f sxT: "Let God be true, but everv man
a liar." Romans liL, 4.
The Bible needs reconstruction aeeordlni
to some inside and outside the culnlt. It Is
no surprise that the world bombards the
Scriptures, but it Is amazine to And Chris
Man ministers picklnir at this in the Bibls
and denying that until many pood peop!4
re kui in mv iuif 5iwn( wnac pans or tns
Bible thev ought to believe and what parts
reject. The heinonsuess of finding fault
wim tne iuuie at ttiis time is most evident.
In onr day the Blhle is assailnd by scurrility,
by misrepresentation, by infidel scientists,
by all the vice of earth and all the venom ol
perdition, and at this particular time even
preachers ot the Gospel fall into line ol
criticism of the word ot God. Why, It makes
me think of a ship in a September ruinozj
the waves dashinif to the top of the smoke
stack, and the hatches fastened down, and
many prophesying the foundertner of ths
steamer, and at that time some of the erew
with aiua and saws go down into the hold ol
the ship, and they try to saw on some of ths
planks and pry out some ot the timbers be
cause the timber did not come from the right
It does not seem to be a commendable bus
iness for the crew to be helping the wlndj
and storms outside with their axes and savn
inside. Now, this old Gospel ship, what wits
the roaring of earth and hell around th
stem and stern and mutiny on deck, is hav
ing a very rough voyage, but I have noticed
that not one of the timbers has started, an I
the captain says he will see it through. And
I have noticed that keelson and counter tim
ber knee are built out ot Lebanon cedar, and
she Is going to weather the gale, but no
orrain roinose wno mate miitlnv on dock.
When I see protease I Christians in this
particular day finding fault with the Scrip
tures, it makes me thint of a fortress ter
rifically bombarded, and the men on the ram
parts, initea 1 of swabbing out and loading
the guns and helping fetoh uo tne ammnni.
tion from the magazine, are trying witq
erowbars to pry out Irora tho wall certain
Diocts oi stone, because they did not corns
from the right quarry. Oh, men on the rami
parts, better ftVht back-, and fight down th
common enemy, instead of trying to make
vro&cnes in toe wall!
While I oppose this expurgation of thv
Scriptures, I shall give you my reasons fot
such opposition. "What!" sav some of th
theological evolutionists whose brains have
been addled bytoo long brooding over them
by Darwin and Spencer, "you don't now
really believe all the story of the garden ol
Eden, do you?" Yes. as much aa I helinn
ih-re were roses In mv garden lust summer.
"But," say they, "you don't really believe
that the sun and moon stoodstlll?" Xes.and
It x had strength enough to create a sun and
moon I could make them stand still or cause
the refraction of the sun's ravs so it would
appear to stand still. But," thev sav, "you
don't really believe that the whale swal
lowed Jonah?" Yes, and if I were strong
enough to make a whule I could have made
very easy Ingres ror the refractory prophet,
leaving to evolution to eject him if ha wen
an unworthy tenant! "But," say thev, "you
don't really believe that the water was" turned
ii w w iuoi irs, jusi s ewuy as water now
is often turned into wine with an admixture
of strychnine anl logwood! "But." say
they, "you don't n-ally believe that Samson
slew 1000 with the jaw bone of an ass?" Yes,
and T think that tiia m.n who in this day
assaults the Bible Is wielding the same
There is nothing in the Bible that stnjrirn!
me. There are many things I do not under
stand, I do not pretend to understand, nevefi
shall in this world understand. But that
would he a very poor God who could be fullf
understood by the human. That would be a
very small Infinite that can be measured by
finite. You must not expect to weigh the
thunderbolts of Omnipotence in an anotha.
cary's balances. Starting with the Idea that
uou can ao anytiung, and tnat Me was pres
ent at the beginning, ami that He is present
now, there is nothing in the holy Scriptures
to arouse skepticism in mv heart. kar I
stand a fossil of the ages, dug up from the
icmni) i-immnon, jaiien ouinesneiiot an
antiquarian, a man in the latter part of the
glorious nineteenth century beheving in s
vhnl. t; 1 . 1 .. IJ 1 . 1:11 9
" """I "1"" 11 1 - 111 11U I ' I 11111
I am opposed to the finnn-ntlnn f h
Scriptures in the first place, because the
Bible fn its present shape has been so mirac
ulously preserved. Fifteen hundred years
after Herodotus wrote h.'s history, there was
only one manuscript copy of tt. Twelve
hundred years after Tlato wrote his book
there was only one manuscript copy of it.
i-ftreiui 10 nave us nave tne niDla
In just the right shape that we have fifty
manuscript copies of the New Testament a
thousand years old, and some of them 1500
years old. This book, handed down from
the time of Christ, or just after the time of
Christ, by the hand of such men as Ortgen
in the seoond century and Tertulllan in tha
third century, and by men of different ages
who died for their principles. The three
best copies of the New Testament in manu
script in the possession of the three great
churches the Protestant church of England,
the Greek church of St. Petersburg and the
Cornish church of Italy.
It is a plain matter of history that Tischea
dorf went to a convent in the peninsula orSlnat
and was by ropes lifted over the wall Into the
convent, that being the only mods ot admis
sion, and that he saw there in the waste
basket for kfedUng for the fires a manuscript
of the Holy Scriptures, Tnat night he cop
led many of the passages of that Bible, but
it was not until fifteen years had passed of
earnest entreaty and prayer and coaxing and
purcuase on nis pan tnat that copy ot the
Holy Scriptures was put into the hand of
tne JSmperor of Kusxia that one oopy so
Do you not know that the catalogue of the
books of the Old and New Testaments aa wa
have it is fhe same catalogue that has been
coming down through the aires? Thirt.
nine books of the Old Testament thousands
of years ago. Thirty-nine now. Twenty
seven books of the New Testament 1600 years
ago. Twenty-seven books of the New Testa
ment now. Alarolon, for wiokedness, was
turned out of the church in the seoond cen.
tury, and in his assault on the Bible and
Christianity he Incidentally gives a cata
logue of the books of the Bible that cata
logue corresponding exactly with ours tes
timony given by the enemy of the Bible and
the enemy of Christianity. Tha catalogue
now just like the catalogue then. Assaulted
and spit on and torn to pieces and burned,
yet adhering. The book to-day, in 300 lan
guages, confronting four-fifths of the human
race in their own tongue. Four hundred
million copies of it in existence. Does not
that look as if this book had been divinely
protected, aa if Go-1 had guarded it all
through the centuriei?
Is it not an argument plain enough to
every honest man and every honest woman
that a book divinely protected and in this
shape is in the very shape that God wants
it. It pleases God and ought to please us.
The epidemics which bare" Swept thousands
of other books into the sepulcherof forget
fulnees have only brightened the fame of
this. There is not one book out of 1000 that
lives five years. Any publisher will tell you
that. There wil1 not be more thau one book
out of 20,000 th.u will live a century. Yet
here is a book, much of it 1G00 years old and
much of it 400J years old an l with more re
bound and resilience and strength in it than
when the book was first put upon parchment
This book saw the cradle of all otha
books, and it will see their graves. WoaM
you not think thiit an old book like this,
some of it fort centuries old, would eom
along hobbling with age and oa crutches
Instead of that, more potent than any other
book of the tir.ie. More ooplea of it printed
In the last ten years than of any other
Walter Scott's Waverley Wovels, Maiv
lay's "History ot Buglvid." Disraeli's "En.
dvmlon," tin workii ol Tannyson and Long
fellow, an 5 all the popular books of ourtimc
having no snob, sale la the last tea yeas at
this old worn ot book. Do yon know what
astrojCL-'e a book has in order to get through
oneeenturyortwoeenrories? Borne old books,
dorAjt Or in a seracUo ot Cooataatt.
nopie, were thrown Into fhe street A ttao
without any education picked up one of those
books, read it, and did not see the value of tl.
A scholar looked over his shoulder and saw
it was the first and second decades of TAxj
and he offered tbe man a large reward tt he
would bring the books to his study, bat tn
the exeltement of the fire tbe two parted, and
the first and second decades of Iivy were for
ever lost. Pliny wrote twenty books of his
tory. All lost. The most ot Jlenaader'l
writings lost. Of 130 comedies of Plant im.
all gone but twenty. Euripides wrote 100
dramas, all gone but nineteen. JEdehlyua
wrote TOO dramas, all gone but seven. Tarro
wrote the laborious biographies of TOO Bo
mans, not a fragment left. QuintlUan wrote
his favorite book on the corruption of elo
quence, all lost. Thirty books of Tactitus
lost. Dion Casaius wrote eighty books, only
twenty remain. Berosius's history all los
Nearly all tne old books are mummified
snd are lying in tha tombs ot old libraries,
and perhaps once la twenty years some man
Somes along and picks up one of them and
blows the dust off and opens it and finds tt
the book he does not want. But this old
!ook. muoh of it forty centuries old. stands
to-lay more di9eusneJ than any other book,
and it chllenga4 the a Imitation of all the
rood and the spite and the venom, and the
animosity, an I the hypercritlcism of earth
and helL I appeal to your common sense If
a book so divinely guarded and protected in
Its present shape mu.-t not be in just the way
that God wants it to come to us. and if if
pleases God ought it not to please us?
Not only have all the attempts to detract
from the book failed, but all the attempts to
add to it. Manv attempts were made to aid
the apochryphal books to the Old Testament.
rna council ot I ront. tuesynod or Jerusalem,
the bishops of Hippo, all decided that the
apochryhal boks must be added to the Old
lestamont. "They must stay in," said those
learned men, but they staid out. Thorn if
not an intelligent Christisn man that to-day
will put tha book ofAUccafma or ths book
of Judith beside the book ot Isaiah of
Romans. Then a great many said, "We
must have books added to the New Testa
ment," and there were epistles and gos
pels and apocalypses written and added
to the New Testament, but they have all
fallen out. You cannot add anything. Yon
cannot substraot anything. Divinly pro
tected book in the present shape. Let no
man dare to lay his hands on it with the In
vntion of detra-ting from the book or cast
ng out any of these holy pages.
Besides that.l am opposed to this expurga
tion of tha Scriptures because If the attempt
were successful, it would be the annihilation
Df the Bible. Infidel geologists would say,
"Out with the Book of Genesiss" infidel as
tronomers would say, ''Out with the Book
at Joshua;" people who do not believe la
the atoning saerinVe would say, "Out with
thn Book of Leviticus;" people who do not
believe in the mirasU-s would say, "Out wtth
ti those wonderful stories in the Old and
Sew Testament;' aud soma would say,
"Out with the Book of Revelation;" and
others would say, "Out with the entire Pen
tateuch," and the work would go on until
there would not be enough ot the Bible left
to be worth as much as last year's almanaa
Ihe expurgation of the Scriptures meanf
I am also opposed to this proposed expor
tation of ths S-'riptures for the fact that In
proportion as tho people become self-oaori-iciug
and good and holy and consecrated,
ihey like the book as it Is. I have yet to Una
i man or a woman distinguished for ae.lf
acrifloe, for consecration to God, for holi
ness of life, who wants the Bible changed.
Hany of us have inherited family llihles.
Those Bibles were In use twenty, forty, fifty,
jerhaps UK) years in the generations. To
lay take down those fanfly Bibles, and find
ut if there are any chapters which have
een erased by lead pencil or pen, and if in
my margins you can find the worls, "This
Ihapter not lit to r-al." There has been
jlenty of opportunity during the hvst hall
jentury privately to expurgate the Bible.
Do you know any case of such expurgation?
Di 1 not vour grandfather give it to your
'other, and did not your lather give it to
Besides that I am opposed to the ex
urgation of ths Scriptures, because the so
lalled indelicacies an 1 cruelties of the Bible
lave demonrtrated no evil result. A cruel
ook will produan cruelty. An unclean book
will produce unclanness. Fetch me a vio
1m. Out of all Christendom and out ot all
he ages fetch me a victim whose heart has
leen hardened to cruelty or whose life has
eea mads irrpnre by this book. Show mt
me. One of tho best families I ever knew
if, for thirty or forty years, morning and
ivening, had all tha members gathered to
gether, and ths servants of the househobl.
ind the strangers that happened to be within
ths gates twice a day, without leaving out
I chapter or a verse, they road this boly
ook, morning by morning, night by night,
kot only tha older ohiM-en, but the little
shild who could Just spell her way through
be verse while her mother helped her, ths
ather beginning and reading one verse and
ien all ths members of the family in turn
reading a verse. The father maintained his
Integrity, tho mother maintained her iutegi
Hty, the sons gew up and entered pro
fessions and commercial life, adorning every
iphcre in the life in which they lived, and
fhe daughters went into families where
Christ was honored, and all that was good
ind pure and righteous reigned perpetually.
for thirty years that family endured the
l-'riptures. Not one of them ruined by
Now, If you will tell me of a family where
he Bible has beeu read twice a day lor thirty
fears, and the children have been brought
lp In tnat habit, and ths father went to
ruin, and the mother went to ruin, and the
ions and daughters were destroyed by It
t you will tell me of one suuh incident, I
(fill throw away my Bible or I will doubt
four veracltv. I tellyou if a man is shocked
rlth what ha rails the indelicacies of the
irord of God he is prurient in his taste and
Inaginatlon. If a man cannot read Solo
Bon's Song without impure suggestion, hs
either in his heart or tn his lira a libertine.
The Old Testament description ot wioked
tess, uncleauness of all sorts. Is
turposely nnd righteously a dUgust
ing account, instead of the Byronlo
ind the Parisian vernacular, which makes
tfn attractive Instead of appalling. When
tone old prophets point you to a laenretto,
rou understand it is a lazaretto. When a
nan having fJegun 5 ao rtstrt fans rjft Into
rickedness ami gives up his integrity, tha
jible does not say he was overcome by tha
'ascinations of the festive board, or that he
inrrendered to convivialities, or that he be
ntme a little fast In his habits. I will tell
rou what the Bible says, "I he dog Is turned
o his own vomit again and the sow that was
vashed to her wallowing in the mire." No
rildingof Iniquity. No garlandson adaath's
lead. No pounding away with a silver mal
et at iniquty when it needs au iron sledge
I can easily understand how people brood
rig over the description of uncleanness In
he Bible may get morbid in mind until they
ire as full of it as the wings, an l the beak,
ind the nostril, and the claw of a buzr.ard
ire full ot the odors of a carcass, bet what
wanted is not that tho Biblo bo dirilnfoot
id, bat that you, tha critic, have your mind
Knd heart washed with carbolio acid.
I tell yoa at this point in my discourse
Sait a man who does not like this book, and
who is critical as to its contents, and who is
ihooked and outraged with its descriptions,
kas never been soundly converted. The lay
ing on of the bands of presbytery or epis
copacy does not always change a man's
lean, and men sometimes get into the pul
pit, as well as into the pew, never having
een changed radically by the sovereign
rrace of God. Get your heart right and the
Dibls will be right. Tbe trouble is men's
natures are not brought into harmony with
the word of God. Ah, my Irion' Is. expurga
tion ot the heart is what is wanted!
Slander is tho revenge oi a coward,
arl dissimulation his defence.
On9 says, "There are people who
are encyclopedias of everything that
shonld be forgotten.
Don't pnt too fine a point to your
wit for fear it should jfet bluntt d.
We may hate an enemy without hurt
ing him, but wo can't do it without
In Glasgow, Scotland, all windows
above the ground floor must be hinged
so they can be cleaneJ from the in
side. One may live as a conqueror, a kinr.
or a mogittrate; bat he must act as a
t i s;.: .-J