Seiliel JiUfe ail ITT 1, i; B, F. SCHWEIER, THE OONSTITUTION-THE UNION AND THE ENFORCEMENT OF THE LAWS. Editor and Proprietor. VOL. XLV. MIFFLINTOWN, JUNIATA COUNTY, PENNA.. WEDNESDAY. FEBRUARY IS, 1891. NO. 9. TBo fhlp of pre. WheD silent l's the sleeping town. In Its profuundest rest, Tiereis ship comes sailing down fpou the river's breast. WiJe winded as that enchanted swan, fchs fahetli through the night, And puipi1: grows tb2 gloom upon The n..ic uf her flight The bark she tears no mortal name, Ko crew of mortal moH, Ulysses' ship of song and flame, Of cedar wol and goldl 6Le !s tlit slip that Tumor knew On the enchanted teas; 6be floa" far iies of music through, And l !es of memories. And ibe !s cystlc-aily fraught; With dreams retni-rnbeied long, Ibat drift on all the tides of thought And all the skis of song. She ba'h Ulysses by her holm, As In ti.e '.iiien time The sL'.p of a diviner realm And ot a l.ihet clime. AN EAST WIND. It was tie east a iud. Not a doubt fcbcllt that. Tie i.iiivi.iit of mischief that an east wind am weak m the Uuily lives of ua puui moitals is te illy astonishing. HUn you p.-t up some morning with a s'-rt l! tJjL'.'. 1-e ler'.inif toward the weald, U t:..:.,,; -ct-m inclined to topple ou-r uu.l get uut ut plate at the merest tudch-Mi fact, everything goes wrong, in a t;u;.Hii exasperating manner; yon have exed n a-..n to suspect that the wind i- iu ti e east. That is cer tainly vvheie it was on this particular iLOniili at li-c Ia- ihc's. r oi seu-ial uis t!ie cook's tooth had gi'.pn ominous tii. eateiiings. And when U;J an ea-ui; v, Ind ever propitiate the tuothachr? In th;s ca-e at least it asravated the dull grniij'''hn;.Ts mco what the sufferer teimed t;.e 'juiiipin' toothache," with, tt:9 awful tijioM nit's of which it was Lot to Le t.jr;e l Uiat she would be over solicitous in repaid to the quality ot the ce-See vt the state of the beef .teak. Sow iatlfi Inane, himself had passed f.u fici.i a comfortable night be tween tuiiie- uf neuralgia in his head and rheu!a.t:c acl.es down his back, to suy liolLiiig of t.'.e creaking of a certain blind :.:cn r.ever made the least noise except wl.Pn the wind was in this one diieetioii. I Ireakfast, muddy coffee arid weak at that, t!,e cook having sim ply poured in more water upon the old grounds without so mueh as adding a gram of f.r-sh cfX.'e, and steak burnt in ie-peet to outward appearance but raw in inward reality no, the break fast did net tend to soothe Lim into a tetter frame of mind. Generally ha was a pretty jolly, good-natured man, but when he was down, as the cook said, "he was down iudade." lie was, down "iudade" this morning. So poor Mother Deane sn.-h.ed very of ten. She as a sinister little body, keenly aliva to her husband's moods. Miss Wirmie Dearie's was the only lr;ght face at the breakfast table. She scarcely noticed her father's frowns or her mother's sighs. The word3 which Charley Traverbad whispeied the even iig before rang too loudly through her Lappy thoughts. He was to see her father at the office this very morning. And, knowing by actual experience that after a good breakfast Father .Dearie ever had the heart to refuse his daughter anything she had charged Charley to be sure and go early before business began. She felt very confident that it would be the most favorable ot time to speak to her father, but then there wasu't the slightest doubt as to hjs answer any way; for, bad not Charley Traver always been a great favorite of his? Miss 'Winnie little realized what queer changes come about with a shifting igd as well as with a turn of the tide. Father Deane started off down town warning unusually fast on account of. the disagreeable air. Therefore he was triCe earlier as the office boy was a trifle later than common, the latter having run or: an errand for his mother, who, being something of an In ve'.id, could not go out in all kinds of weather. And consequently, Father Deaae had his choice of the dust from the boy's vigoious sweeping or of a tramp up and down the draughty hall. He had just settled himself at the desk when Charley Traver came in The young man's face was somewha flushed, but he said "Good morning, ir. Deane,'' with bright cheeriuess and a air if confidence as to his reception. "Good morning," responded that gen tleman coldly a-; he turned about from his desk and looked over his glasses at his early caller. Some people do have such uu upsetting way of peering over the tops of their glasses at one; it would disconcert the coolest heart aud strong est Lea l. Charley Traver was a self possessed young man, but I suppose the Erst self-i oisessed have moments of jvkwarduess. Charley's bad come now. Nevertheless he pii-uged bravely to the Point at ouce. "I r'cume you havo noticed, Mr. Ef.tne. that I have been quite a fre qih: visitor at your home lately, " IVi'uu Dtane'st ald head gave an al most in, perceptible nod which was not Ty i cTpfui to the young man. "The fact is," Eaid he, growing more ad ewe nervous, 'Mis3 Winnie has Promina to be my wife with your con '"t, which I hope I have. ! Unlucky Charley! he did not know , at ss sat facing his visitor, a "Hath cf ihat self-snhie wind having toHiid .i chink somewhere iu the office window, was blowing "direct upon the -ck oi rather Deaue's head sending "eea dait through it 111 every direc- "Xonstlise jvow'.ed the old gentle- inLeiee,y; -you p.ie both too younjf. c-.tucr oX you know vour own minds T-'-" 'Wean wliirizto walk if tint ha S Q a'u 11 tualM lyour wish," repllej Charley, 'I ilj I wanted y'otir consent thalTt might tak t place some time." "I'll not conset to anything. Xevei did believe in long engagements. When you are both older than you are now I'll consider the matter, net before. Good morning, sir." Poor Charley I he had always supposed that Mr. Deane was rather partial tc hlim Poor Charley 1 who went out in a state of sore perplexity, wondering what ia the world he could have done to so offend Mr. Deane. Poor Charelyl who suddenly w ake up to the fact that it was a horned morning In particular and a most dismal world In general. We may scoff about it as much as we please, but variable weather is a blessed thing sometimes, especially when it changes for the better. Father Deane always lunched at a restaurant, dining at home after office hours. Now, it so happened that the wind took a sudden turn, and by the time he went out for his lunch there was the gentlest of breezes from the south with good hot sun, which, shin, ing down upon his head and back, did wonders for the neuralgia and rheuma tism. Then, at the restaurant whom should be meet but an old friend from New York, who said: "Why, Deane, I don't believe yoa look a day older than Vou did ten years ago." bile a man may despise ordinan compliments, I am inclined to think he would find such a greeting preferable to "Why, how old and gray you've rownl" Meeting thus pleasantly, the friends prolonged the luucu as lung as possiblo aud walked back as far as the office door together. As soon as ever he bad parted from his friend and stepped inside the olH e. Father Deane thought of Charley. "I declare!" be said to himself. "I'm afraid I was a little hasty this morning. Let me see; no, it can't be; yes, that's so, as true as I'm alive Charley Traver must be twenty-three or four; has a Stood business too. As for little Win nie well, well, well. I suppose It's got to come some time. Charley said he'd wait awhile. He bore it better,' too, than I should if I'd been in his vexed at me; wouldn't blame him a bit,, either, if he weie. I must have Win aie apologize for me, she'll make it all right. 1 can keep my word too. Lucky foi me that I put that in; I hate to go Oack on my word. Of coure they will; loth be older than they were this morn ing. I must have been a good deal out Df sorts to have acted that way, I al ways did like Charley." Meanwhile mother Deane had exert ed herself to cure the cook's toothache,, nd, having succeeded after a time, her patient, in her gratitude, did her very best in the matter of a dinner of which it may be said that after Father Deane had done ample justice to it, he was en- tirely his jolly, good natured self again. And when anxious Winnie perched her elf on his knee to whisper. "Did, Charley come to the office this morn ing?" he kissed her blushing cheeks and laid a little confusedly, "Yes, dear; but was somewhat out of sorts and ihouldn't wonder if I answered the poor fellow rather shortly. When he calls rou can explain it to him and tell him I said it was all right if he'd wait a cou ple of years before taking you away. I jan't lose you just yet," this with an jther kiss, "but I don't know of any 3ne I'd rather have for a son-in-law than Charley Traver." A very downcast, disconsolate-looking person was the Charley who came in hour later. But, when Winnie had ixplained and delivered her father's message he laughed with a sudden ele- vation of spirits. "It's all right now," he declared, "but I did feel most awful iy cut up over it." However, like a wise young man, he refrained from en tering into further particulars of the interview in her father's office. While within, with loving hearts, the two sat planning the beautiful future they were to spend together, outside, among the shorn branches of the one evergreen by the pa i lor window, the wind, no longer a mischievous east wind, but the sweet est of southern breezes was softly whispering. But neither of the twq listened to it for they did not know how it had mixed Itself np with thi day's doings, nor how closely the happy outcome of it all was interwoven with the tickle caprice of au idle, shiftiug wind. He Wai Absent Minded. "-ipeaking of absent mindeduess," said the hotel clerk to the Expression ist, "that old fellow sitting over there by the window, sucking his cane, will some day forget that he is on earth, and will come down to breakfast with a sheet wrapped around him, doing the angel act. He's an eld bachelor, and has lived here at least ten years. Last night a business man called to see him. He was in great haste. He wrote a note to be sent up to the old fellow's room, and then rushed off, saying, That's a very important message; please see that he gets it. " WLen the call boy got to the room he found that the old fellow bad gone asleep in his chair while reading. The room had Srown dark. The boy woke the old fellow up, gave him the note, and went out. After failing to find the match safe, and after going through his pockets with like success, he discovered the note in bis hand. What did the man do but twist it up, light the paper ia a gas jet iu the hallway, and after light ing his own gas looked all over his room for the note. He don't know what the message was, nor who sent it, nor how important it was, and I have forgotten how the business man looked. He has been sucking that cane over there all -lay, thinking about it, and cursing the call boy." y?ar-old was much attached. bore the name of Grace. Hearing it for a few times the little chit asked: "Mamma, isn't Grace a serious nauie? It majr.ee me thiak of prayer." Women's Queer Pets. Women must have something to pet, it is said, and it would appear so if all that Is said can be believed. There was Sarah Bernhardt with her lion, and Mrs. Baker, the wife of a well known photographer, who became al tiiost inseparable from a young bear and a sly fox. She thoroughly tamed and trained them to take their after noon nap upon the same rug. Mr. Baker is a great sportsman and cap tured the strange pets during a seat-on of hunting. An intimate friend tells this story of a wise snake owned bv Lad v Duff Gordon some years ago: "She would carry her pet about with her, wound round her arm (insido the large, baggy sleeves that were then the fashion), and it would put its slen der head out at the wrist-hole and lap milk out of the palm of her hand. Mr. Snake was also said to be fond of anv glittering thlti, particularly bright jewels, aud wheu Lady Dud' Gordon removed her many finger-riugs she had to keep a sharp eye upon them, as it was his wont of the vain reptile to lift them with the end of his tail and run his head through them : then convinc ing himself that he had them all ou his person, would, with an air of satisfac tion, deliberately tie himself in a tight knot and refuse to deliver them to their rightful owner until it pleased his own sweet will to do so." Her Fortune Willed to Two Dogi. The most extraordinary will ever made was probated in Nashville yes terday. Mrs. Mary Ann Schaub", an aged German lady who has lived in Nashville for the past sixty years, died at her home iu the northern suburbs of the city, where she has lived for nearly half a century. She had no kin in the world of whom any one knows, and had surrounded herself by a number of dogs aud cats. She had accumu lated a handsome property, valued at about $6,000, and this she leaves iu trust for two of her favorite dogs. The animals are of the commonest breed. She provides that a sufficient sum thall be reserved from her personalty to maintain these dogs in comfort as long as they live, and especially orders one bed and clothing for their oc cupancy. A young lady whom she adopted is made secondary beneficiary, upon the condition that she will live in the house and care for the dogs for a period of eight years. If at the end of this term her task has been dutifully performed she shall come into posses sion of the the entire property. Den ver Republican. The New Theology. I am sure you will like our church," showing the new minister around : " you will be the first man to preach in it. These ar; the church par lors, for our social gatherings; aren't they handsome? They cost a heap of money, but it's worth while to do things well. We have a neat little stage, you see, for recitations and little concerts and such things. Here Is the kitchen, large, well equipped, a splendid thing when we give big sup pers, as we often do. This large room adjoining is to be the Sabbath-school room, but we haven't got it seated yet, and there is no organ, either. We hope to have a Sabbath-school org a 11 i zei ome time this winter." " And where do you have preach ing t" inquired the parson, " Oh, well," replied the elder, " we have no place for preaching yet, and I don't suppose you'll have much of that to do before next spring. The upstairs Isn't finished, and 1 don't know when it will be. It's terribly hard work raising money now. It was all we could do to finish the kitchen." A Unique Comparison. A facetious watchmaker savs A watch is like the human body, it is lust as sensitive as the most delicate child and needs more care and protec- n811 ever receives, m&TTZL de- auu a w s ju-v acaviw to Its its all heart beats govern its action and hands and face tell its condition at times. "If I were to classify the diseases of watches I should say that the one where the works are clogged with dirt and the oil has become stili is analagous to our biliousness. This is the most common complaint watch doctors find, and unless the owner of the watch makes it a rule to submit it to a repu table repairer he will probably be vic timized, just as human patients are when they consult quack doctors." The Comfortable Hansom Cab. " Women all like hansom cabs," writes a correspondent. " I saw one pretty tiring driving through Fair mount Park with her beau the other day, and they both thought the hansom o nice. She stared right over the apron and so did he. If you hadn't been iu a hansom once or twice your self you wouldn't have known that they had hold of hands at all. She wore a white bar muslin dress, cut Mother Hubbard fashion. Around her arm, (besides his arm) was a cream-colored ribbon. Her hands were encased in his and a pair of yellow silk mitrs. About her neck was a string of pearls. Ah me, youth and poverty I And two wheelars nd love!" Well-Paid Archbishops. The Austrian Archbishops are prob ably the most highly paid ia the world- The Cardinal Archbishop of Vienna has only about 6,000 a year, but the Cardinal Archbishop of Olmutz has 40,000, the Cardinal Archbishop of Prague has 35,000, and the Archbish op of Eriru has 60,000. And the primate of Hungary, the Cardinal Archbishop of Grau, has S0,000 a vear- Severe, bat Just. Bankruptcy in England ranks next to a high crime. If a member of Par liament lose his property and be adjud icated a bankrupt, he at once loses his seat in that august body. A mayor, alderman,. councillor, guardian, over seer, member of school board, highway board, burial board or select vestry, also forfeits his office if he proves go derelict in his business affairs as to bo tsable to pay his debts. UVUfO ON $10 a The Experience) of at Younjr Mar Who Wm Limited to That Sam. Newspaper writers have dwelt fullj on the subject of "How to live on $10 a Week." They have demonstrated tc the satisfaction of all save those who have to live on that sum that it is fairly sufficient. The young man who cau't keep himself on $10 a week and save money is set down as extravagant. Under certain conditions the thing is easy. Ten years ago I taught school in Berks County. Pennsylvania, and re ceived $20 a month salary. 1 paid J 1 a mouth board, which included washing and mending. It was a farming dis trict and there wasn't any chance to spend money. When there was a sleighing party the Tanner boys brought the fathers' sleighs and the girls brought the eatables and drinkables. The other society events were corn husking, threshing parties and balls at the v.I lage hotel for the brass band. There was no expense attendant on the two first mentioned entertainments, aud the $20 a month pedagogue couldn't think of compromising his dignity by going to the balL In the five months I stay ed my expenses were just 49 cents; 2j to the church, 2i for postage stamps. Three years ago I worked in the an thracite coal mines and boarded in a town of about 10,000 population. In oue year the mines worked 100 davs. The day rate of a laborer is $1 70 a day. or 10 20 a week. This gave an income of 5272. I paid $4 50 a week board, or 234 a year. This left SJS to clothe myself aud pay wash bills aud all cur rent expenses of the year. At the end of the year I was 9J cents iu debt. I thought I was doing well to comu out that near. I went to Vermount and in a small town secured steady work with the owner of a weekly newspaperat a salary of $10 a week. I worked 313 day-3 und at the end of the vear found 1 had saved only J10. Clothing, shoes, hats and all the other incideutals came high there. Tire spirit of the townspeople was such that I would have been boy cotted had I ordered my shirts, cuffs and collars by mail from Philadelphia. Indeed my employer would have dis charged me if I didn:t patronize his ad vertisers. So a year ago I determined to see how far 510 a week would go in Philadel phia. The limit at which a young man cad board there without rooming with another person seems to be set at 0 a week. Of course he can live cheaper by going to boarding-hou-.es win- e young men are huddled together three and four iu a room, or he can rent a "furnished room" and get fifteen-cent diuners. But the articles on "How to Live" are based on the assumption that the living is a decent one as we.l as a comfortable one. If a young man takes his chances in a cheap caravan sery he forfeits the comforts and too often the decencies of life. He is thrown iu with all sorts and con.litious of men and women in cheap restaurants and "strictly private families" that guarantee "home comforts."' 1 paid $0 a week board, and the fare was barely decent. I worked 30ii day, losing only legal holidays. I never drank or gambled in my life. The fol lowing is a detailed statement of the expense accouut: Board S312 00 Tobacco Newspapers Daily arid Sunday, and one evening paper Two suits of clothi-s, one over coat and underclothing Two hats at i2 50, two pair shoes 52 50 5 20 12 00 91 00 10 CO Sundries Shirts, collurs, cuffs, overalls, etc 40 00 100 !tk Church 5 cts. for 52 Sundays Washing 10 00 Night school 5 00 Doctor's bill and drugs 12 00 Sarah Bernhardt 2 00 n iL-ou Barrett 1 0J Postage stamps and stationery 60 Total Sj09 10 The year's earnings amounted to SolO, leaving me just 40 cents to put away. Of course, the economists don't count the newspapers, the night schools and the 5 cents for church as legitimate expenses, but are they not a part of liv ing? The tobacco may be a "luxurious extravagance," but there is room to doubt as to Bernhardt and Barrett. A Young Lady's Apology Which Only Made It Much Worse. This wagon-load of girls simply drew the military from their posts and made them captive. They clustered at the springs and the springs bubbled with Joy. It seems that several of the young ladies went down to bathe and occupied two bath rooms. They could neither keep quiet nor keep their conversation confined to the four walls that sur rounded them. They had to converse freely and aloud with one another, not stopping to think that somebody might be within hearing distance. As a fact, a young military gentleman was in the immedia'e neighborhood, and a lively conversation floated over his head. "I think the militia boys are the plainest men I ever saw," a gentle female voice whispered over. "There isn't a good looking one In the whole crowd," came back, arid tills kind of commentary passed forCftteu minutes. There was a blackness among the young men when the girls turned upon the veranda all wrethed in smiles and reedy to receive the compllme.its cf the brave. It didn't take them Iuii? to find out what the matter was. The military were prepared to evacuate, but they taxed the young ladles first One of them admitted she had been of the party, and stuck to what she said. The ! army was insulted so mad that it de clined to accept the apology tendered by one young lady, who was very ner vous and thought they had gone too far. j "1 es, but you know, we ail said we liked ugly men." Do not drink strong coffee just be fore retiring, or In the evening at alL It is apt to cause slte.essuess. No man is a hero to his fellow-hero. Literature ror the force. riie celebrated novelist, Count Leo ToUtoi, as is well-known, gave up his literary work to a great extent, and busied himself chiefly with manual luhor, and the spread of the " gospel of brotherly love." A short time ago, w hen driving ia the city of Moscow, he saw a policeman arrest a peasant because of some very slight offence aginst the police regulations and lead I iim along the street. Ordering his coachman to halt, the count rushed up to the policeman aud asked him if he could read. "Certainly." " Have you read the Bible? The answer was again in the affirma tive. " Then," coutinued the count to tht surprised officer, " do not forget that we are commanded to love our neigh bor us ourselves." The policeman looked at him in astonishment for a moment, and then began au inquisition of his own. " Can you read?" he asked Yes." " Have vou read the police regula tions?" The count wa obliged to reply in the negative. " Then," answered the officer, as he proceeded upon his way with his vic tim, " read them before you come here to preach." Japanese Paper. The Japanese beat the world ror hand-made paper. The Japanese paper is especially good for etching, and is greutly in vogue among artists. It is exceedingly durable aud highly finished, aud prints from it are very much liner than any other quality of paper. The hand-made parchment paper is made from the inner bark of the sycamore tree, and is of very tough iibre and is beautifully finished. The Japanese government has official documents in its possession printed upon this parchment, which are as good as new to-day, after fifteen hun dred years' wear and tear. The Japs themselves use tlds piper for houses, coats, umbrellas, screens and every imaginable purpose. The manufac ture of hand-made paper is how being principally conducted by the Japanese government as a national enterprise, some of the finest residences in the United States, and many public build ings, have been lately decorated with Japanese wall paper. This is fast be coming one of their leading lines for export. The papers are most gor geous in hue aud design, and are very strong and durable. Another at tractive feature about them is that they can be peeled right off the wall without anv trouble or injury to the wall - A Fouduess for Color. The ponderou? elephant may be credited with a keen sense of the humorous ; at least, many of their tricks would jusify the belief. Here is the story of an amusing trick played by one of them upon a camel, its neighbor iu a managerie. One of the workmen had been engaged in paint ing a portion of tho house, touching off the ornamental projections with red paint. The young elephant watched him w ith great interest, apparently amused at the bright bits of color. The painter was absorbed iu his work when the dinner-bell rang. He put his pot aud brush down and went off to his meal. The elephant waited till he was out of sight, then carefully felt for the brush with his trunk. Next the young elephant stood a sleepy camel, dreamily eating hay. The ele phant took the brush and streaked the camel's side. The keepers came along just then, and watched events. The elephant appeared highly pleased when he saw the red Hues of paint on the camel's gray flanks. When the painter returned, the brash was back in its place, the elephant was gazing earnestly into space, aud the camel was emblazoned all over with red stripes, like a crimson zebra. The Whole Truth. It was a horse case. Horse cases are dilllcult to deal with, and in the course of the trial a horsey looking witness was put in the box. Counsel asked him what had happened. " I sez, sez I, How about the hoss?' And he said he'd give me ten dollars to say nothing about him." " He did not say he would give you ten dollars, my good man." " Yes, he did that's exactly what he did 6ay." " He could not have said ' he ;' he must have spoken in the first person. " No ; I was the first person that spoke. I sez, sez I, How about the hoss? ' Bathe did not speuk in the third person." " There was no third person present only he aud me." The judge interposiug: " Listen to me, witness. He could not have said ' He would give yc a ten dollars to siy nothing about it,' but ' J will give you ten dollars.' " " He said nothing about you. If he said anything about you, I never heard him. And if there was a third person present, I never saw him." Point given up. A Taluable Bible. Millions of people regard the Bible as the most valuable book in the world, aside from its mechanical make-np and appearance. But in a commercial sense a Hebrew Bible at the Vatican in Pome is said to be the most valuable book in the world. In 1512 Pope Julius, then in great financial straits, refused to sell it to a syndicate of rich Venetian Jews for its weight in gold. The Bible weighs more than 325 pounds, and is never carried by less than three ien. The price refused by Pope Jul- -jwas, therefore, about $125,000, a .id that too, when gold was worth at '.east thiice what it is now worth. Care of Tehlcles. A carriage should be kept in an airy, dry coach-house, with a moderate amount of light; otherwise the color will be destroyed. There should be no communication between the stables and the coach-house. The manure heap or pit should be kept as far away a possible. Ammonia cracks varnish, and fades the colors both of the paint ing and the lining. Whenever standing for days together, a carriage should always have on it a large cotton cover, sufficiently ttrorg to keep out thdost I witnout excluding toe ugnr. xnzss, I when allowed to settle on a carriage, I eats into the varnish. Care should be - taken to keep this cover dry. When a ' carriage is new, or newly painted, it is ' better for it to stand a few weeks be . fore being used. It will stain or spot I even then, unless care be taken to re move the mud before it dries on, or as soon afterwards as possible. A carri ! age should never, under any circum stances, be put away dirty. In wash ' ing a carriage keep it out of the suu. Lite plenty of water. For the body use a large, soft sponge ; when satura ted, squeeze it over the panels, and by the flowing down of the water the dirt softens aud harmlessly runs off; then fiiuish with a chamois. Never use a spoke brush, which, iu conjunction with the grit from the road, acts like sandpaper on the varnish, scratching it aud destroying the lustre. If persis ted iu, it will rub off the varnish and paint even down to the wood. In cleaning brass or silver work, no acid, mercury or grit should be used ; the polish should be obtained by friction alone. Keep a small buttle of black japan and a brush always handy to paint the treads and steps when worn by the feet ; nothing helps more thau this to keep a carriage looking tidy. Lay on the japan as thin as possible. As a general rule, a carriage with gentle work retains its freshness better than if standing for long periods in a couch-house. If the latter be necess ary, draw the vehicle out occasionally to air. v No sugar is put in first-class butter iu these days. The intelligent effort is to get everything out but an allowable amount of pure brine, saline enough to suit the palate of the buyer. Fresh butter so made is good enough without sweetening, and the effect 011 old butter is that sugar turns to au acid as surely, if given air ad n time enough, as mo lasses turns to vinegar under limiliar conditions. The Brewery Business Figures presented at the meeting of the United States Brewers' Association show a wonderful growth of business during the last twenty-five years. For instance, receipts of the government from the internal revenue tax on fer mented liquors amounted to about 1, 500,000 in 18G3, when th tax was first imposed. Iu 1666, the figures rose 10 5.OO0,000; in 1379, to 5-10,000,000; iu 16S2, to 616,000000; and last year the tax amounted to S53, 000,000. The quan tity increased in the same ratio from 2,000,000 bariels in 1363 to over 24, 000.000 in 1363. At this rate of growth, it is small wonder that Eng lishmen think they see a chance of making money by buying up American breweries. Autograph Collcting. "Are you fond of autographs, Mrs. Mushroom?" asked the esthetic young lady of the practical visitor. "No, I don't go much on 'em, but my son who's away at college has a big collection of the handwritin of great celebrights. I reckon I'll sur prise him some when he gets back this summer." "In what way?" "Well, ye see, some of them cele brights writ such poor writiu' that I had all the names copied off in a neat hand In a big book. You have no idee Tiow much better they look. What other truck that nobody couldn't mate out 1 just burned up." America. America's Blchest Woman. The richest woman in America is a resident of South America. She is not ouly the richest woman in America, but she is the richest woman in the world. She has one of the largest f or. tunes held by either sex. This woman is Dona Isadora Consino, of Chili. She is the bigzest real estate owner in Santiago and Valparaiso. South America fortunes are hard to estimate, but many people have put hers above $200,000,000. Money multiplies fast in her hands, for her eye is every where. A Peculiar Fish. A peculiar fish has recently been taken off Clay Head, Block Island. It is called a sucking fish, and is of a variety found in the Mediterranean Sea, and also ou the Florida coast. The peculiar structure of the top of its head gives it its name. It has a flat surface, arranged so that by suc tion it adheres with great tenacity to any object to which it becomes attached. Several of these fish have been taken oft" Watch Hill this season. They have been unknown in these waters before. A Sew Version. A popular physician of Brooklyn, says the New York Tribune, has a little girl who expounded the Scrip tures to him in the following remark able manner while reciting her Sunday school lesson on Friday night: "The Lord is my shepherd, and I shall not want. He makethme to lie (hesitating), He maketh me to lie and do lots of ether things." It Was Authentic. "Sure it's new?" asked the editor as an esteemed contributor handed in in interesting anecdote about a na tional celebrity. "Certain," replied the E. C. "I invented it myself." Sew York Herald. A Shower of Frogs. Frogs covered the streets in the neighborhood of Twenty-first and Bank streets yesterday morning dur ing the hard rain. They came down with the rain, and an area of about four squares was strewn with them. Tho frog shower lasted about half an hour, and, as some of the superstitious people were unable to account for the presence of the reptiles, for a time considerable alarm prevailed in that locality. One old negro who was averse to believing that such a thing as a frog shower could occur, ran wildly -about the street, telling his friends to prepare for death for the world was coming to an end. The frogs were about the size of a silver quarter of a dollar. I, 1 A torpedo not constructed of inter locking steel rings is s;on to be put ui a practical test. OVER THE BANISTER. Over the banister leans a face. Tender and full of meaning I see her still, ith a dainty grac, Ai-ove her banjo leaning. While by her side I watch her hand. Over the soft notes straTlng, Weaving her thoughts as I Idly "Und, li'to the tune she is playing. The tubt burns dim in the great squaie room, Nobody else is listening; But through the dusk of the twilight glooiit Somebody's eyes are gluteuing, Broken strains of the song are blown Over her half-turned shoulder; Hulding her hand aud drawing her down, Suddeuly growing bolder. The r-t is lo-t iu a soft, low note : M hat does it mean I wouderf But up from the banjo seems to float Tin- ong of the sweet Hp's plunder, The ijtiestion a-ked, aud the sweet caress, And the Yes that conies from the landing, Wbat is it, I wonder, that makes me guess she looks up where I am standing. What does he meau by the soft low tune. And the words that uow she Is humming W by do- she stare again. so soon The baujo's ei-ipty strumming!' 5itiiii ture singing an idle rhyme. With the soft light o'er her streaming. Is -he but trying to pass the time, And am I but a fool fr my dreaming? BuitoH Transcript. GLOOM DISPELEBS. The tomb-tone is about the only hing that can stand upright and He on face at the same time. Terre Haute Express. Every man has his role iu life, es pecially the man who tries to ride the bucking mule at the circus. Burhng 'ou I'ree Yew. Truth crushed to earth will rise uruiu, but by that time the funeral of iouie one's character is all over. JuimtitouH yews. Before offering yourself to the plump-looking toboggan girl you met last winter, perhaps it would be as well to wait until you see her on the beach this a turner. Life. The widow is less selfish thau the maideu, for, while the latter is always looking out for No. 1, she is satisfied in watching for No. 2. Vonkers Stuteehian. "My dear," said Mr. Phunnyman, "why is the Priuce of Wales a geo graphical paradox?" "Give it up." "Why, because he is allowed so much latitude that he is without a parallel." Philadelphia Press. Alas for humidity, Lack of rigidity Under the tun, Oh, It was pitiful, Near t whole cityful. Not a starched one. Clothier and Furnisher. A Strong Recommendation. Fore man I wat t to employ a good strong man to wheel brick. Have you been engaged in work that would harden your muscles? Applicant Yes, sir. I've been em ployed in Wheeling West Virginia. Omaha World, The story of Alice and George. No, George ; you must not put yonr arm around my waist. George Be careful, Alice. Alice Careful! What do you mean? George naveu't you heard that wil ful waist makes a woful want? Law rence American. Tom Hello. Tagg, What's that sign on your front door for, "No ad mittance Except on Business ?" Taprg There have been so many young men calling on my daughters, and their visits have been so fruitless that I have adopted this means to re duce the surplus. Yankee Blade. Smith I think Miss De Blank is very rude. Jones What causes you think that? I never thought her so. Smith I met her down town this afternoon and asked if I might see her home. She said yes; I could see it from the top of the high echool build ing, and that it wasu't necessary to go any further. Omaha World. They were seated in the parlor and be was declaring his love In fervent tones. All at once she stopped him with an imperious gesture, and a look of pain overspread her countenance. "Waitl wait!" she exclaimed in short, sharp tones. In a moment the sneeze came, sad Heloise, looking tenderly up Into his face, said: "As you were saying George !" Judge. Visitor Yon say this ruined castle is haunted? Guide Undoubtedly. The spectre can be seen almost every night. "It is probably the ghost of some robber." "No, it is the ghost of an actor, who neglected while living to have himself photographed in his favorite role, and who consequently cannot rest in hit grave. German Fun. The Price of Royalty. Mrs. Smith Yes, my daughter Lucy married a blacksmith, and they have a nice home and are getting along nicely. Mary married a bat :her and is very comfort ably provided for. Jennie married a section hand end they are happily sit uated. M?s. Jones And your daughter Gladys? Mr. Smith Alas! she married a foreign nobleman. I send her $2 per week aud some discarded dresses, and by taking in washing she manages to support the family. Omaha World, The highest price ever paid fur a book itia.aiJ, was 150,000. GLOOM DKPELLEE3. 1 A buy-word "How much?" Why hasn't the debt of nature been paid ; she's got the rocks? A girl will naturally express a can died opinion of the young man who it constantly bringing her confectionery. Girls solemnly promise to be the wives Of doctors, lawyers or business nieu, Eut when the wedding day arrives -Ths minister usaally marries them. First Newspaper Man "Did you do any literary work on your voyage across?" Second Newspaper Man "Yes, I contributed extensively to the Atlantic." "I hear that young Lazie passed his examination iu anatomy with honors; did he have a private tutor?" "No, he went in bathing every day at Asbury Park." Accepted Suitor "Won't yoa find it awkward when you meet your other two husbands in heaven?" interesting Widow "I don't oxpectto meet either of them there." Omaha Wife "I see that even Sol liven is a monopolist." Husband "So? I thought be was among the strikers." Wife "No, all of hi 'mills' are In 'the ring.'" "Are you fond of diamonds, Mr. De Smythe?" 6aid a young lady. "Well," said he, absent-mindedly, "that would naturally depend on whit was trumps, wouldn't it?" Mr Oldbeau "And your husband?" Widow "In heaven these two years." Mr. Oldbeau "I'm shocked at the news! He and I used to go out to gether. I never would have dreamed it." "Pa" (inquired Bobby, as they wett returning from a revivalist meeting) , "why, do those people shout so loua; is God deaf!" "No, Bobby, but iu a case of that kind, He It a good wv off." "I really don't see what is the matter with my razor today. It is so dull that it don't cut at all," said Johnny's pa. "Why, pa," 6aid Johnny, "it was sharp the other day, when" I used it to make a ship with." Epoch. "Mrs. MacPowcrs, don't be afther pokin' yer tongue out at me, but act loike a lady for wunst an' come outside the door for a moment on' o'ill make the ugly face o' you look loike the Pau Haudle Route to Chicago!" "What on earth is the matter with that razor?" shouted the victim, as he writhed in the barber's chair. "Deed, sah, dere isn't nuffin' de mattah wuf de razah, but you whiskahs sutuy ack ez if dey'd bin nickel plated." Sharpe "Just give that messenger call a whirl, will you?" Clerk "Yes, sir. What shall I tell the boy when he comes?" Sharpe "Send him around to the telephone office to notify them that I waut to use the telephone." America, Multiplying the candle power "Miss Kelly, Oi notice yez got yer a new mirror." "Vis; Oi thought 'twould be more econemy to buy wan to set the candle in front av, soze to have two candles than to burn a kero chiue lamp." Judge. Mrs. Coldtca "We must plan an extra fine dinner for tomorrow. It if Mr. Coldtea's birthday. Let me see; what shall we have for the piece de resistance?'' New boarder " Why not have the usual piece do resistance the steak ?" America. Pity her husband City dame (who has bought a littie farm)' "Mary, all those fresh egg3 are soft, go out in the barn aud see if some of the chickens haven't laid some hard-boiled egg; I'm going to make a salad." Mary "Yes, mum." From Timo. "Well, my dear, how would Farmer Brown suit you for a husband? He seems to be uncommon sweet on you lately." "Perhaps, so, father; but his hair is so red that " "True, true, my child; but you should recollect tlia there is very little of it." Judge. Coming homo from a picnic: John "But, now, look a hero, Suse, do vou doubt that I love you?" Susau "Not a bit of it, John, I know you wouldn't have squandered sixty cents for ice cream and things unless you were In dead earnest." Rochester Post Es press. Perils of the Summer Outing Mr. Dudley Spunger "Oh, I say, chappio, we cawn't tay here. My tailor registered and I owe him a cool hun dred." Mr. Flashly Borem "I'm with you, old man, I borrowed fifty of Charley Lawrence yesterday, and he's here, too." Boston Beacon. Something wrong A child who had Just mastered her catechism confessed icrself disappointed, because, she said, "though I obey the fifth command ment, and honor my papa and mamma, yet my many days are not a bit longer in the land, because I am still put to bed at 7 o'clock." Times of India. "I don't believe yoa have been to the Sunday school. You've been In swimming. Your hair is wet and your trousers are hindpart foremost." "Well you see, mar, I was runnin' o hard to Sunday school that my head got wet wid perspiration, and then I fell down, and I was going so fait I turned over in my trousers." The Bitter Before tho Sweet Jim my "Mamma, I wish you'd lick me real good and hard." Mother (sur prised) "Whip you! Why, Jimmy, you haven't done anything wrong, have you?" Jimmy "No; but m an' Bill Jones aro pom' wlmmin,: and yon know you told me you'd lick me if I went, so I thought I'd enjoy the wim a good deal better if you'd do it beforehand." I-awrcnce Amcri can. The Present Lord Chesterfield. The present Lord Chesterfield, a man of about thirty-seven years of age, hat just returned to England after an ex haustive trip through the United State. Hit lordship is said by those who had the pleasure of meeting him to be not only a man of fine appearance, box of manners quite worthy of bis dis tinguished ancestor, of whose famou letters he is a diligent reader. The lowest ebb is the tura oftis Ui 1 I 1' 3 i i 5r r. I
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers