4 : I : 1 ! i t B. P. 8CHWEIER, THE OONSTITUTION-THE UNION AND THE ENFORCEMENT OF THE LAWS. Editor and Proprietor. VOL. XLIIJ. MIFFLINTOWN. JUNIATA COUNTY. PENNA.. WEDNESDAY. NOVEMBER G, 1SS9. NO. 4b Beiilifciiii t I Thiri Is very little encouragement In the latest French election returns tor Boulanjer. Wben he rets tired of olJ Jersey be can come over and Uy New Jersey for awhile. Till Czaarovitch is said to express unreservedly bis lack of atl miration for Uistnarck. It ts susected that the return opinion of the Chancellorovitch, if it could be got at, would make two of a kind. Joit.v Fitzpatkuk, convicted In yew Yoik of the crime of kidnapping men and selling them into virtual slavery in Mexico, where many died of the hardships they were forced to un dergo, should be given a dose of his own medicine. Those twenty-four philanthropists are not crowding one another in their efforts to subscribe f 10"000 each to the guarantee fun1 fur the International Exposition. Mr. Pulitzer's contribu tion of that amount still dangles over the fund's treasury, but there la no immediate dancer of its falling in. Davy Crockett was a familiar name to the bovs and girls of forty or fifty years ago aid is recalled to mem ory by the death of Davy's sou. The elder Crockett led a stormy life as a pioneer, served a few terms in Congress and ended his adventuresome career in the defence of the Alamo. lie was one of the six survivors of 140 Texans who surrendered to Santa Anna only to be massacred. A TEsrATCii from Nicaragua re ports that work is proceeding on the canal, the hostility of Co- ta Rica hav- ing been removed. This was appar ently the chief obstacle in the wav of success. The canal lt-elf appears f roin reports of surteyor to be a much less difficult undertaking than the Panama canal, and, if successful, will reflect great credit on American engineers, who have advocated this route for years. The League Baseball season is ended and the Xew York Club win fly the championship pennant another year. Boston made a splendid fight for the prize and finished very near the cham pions, but owing to lad team work and want of discipline the Ilubites could not win, though they had the strongest iml.vulual player. We hail hoped that the Fhiladelphians would capture the flag this year, but they were never near It after the first half or the games had been played and the club was at last forced to accept fourth place. Mo city in America spends more money for baseball than Philadelphia, and it does seem as though managers should pro duce winning clubs. There is not the same detei ruination to secure the lest teams manifested in Philadelphia that manifested in New York, Boston aud one or two other cities. Until this is manifested they will have to be con tent to see other clubs walk idT with tl e prize, while their favorites quietly take a position further down the line. A land of tcrtlks. A corre spondent of a Ceylon journal gives some interesting information about the tur ties on the coast in the neighborhood of Jaffna, in the north of the island which are said to be innumerable. They are of three species, ca'led sea, milk and pariah turtles respectively. "The ordinary, or sea turtle, is generally large In size, and is met with every where at sea around Jaffna. Two ticy Islands, called Iranativu, are literally warming with them. The islands themselves are sterile, and always ex Doaed to inundation; the '.nhabitants are poor and ignorant of agriculture. and l.ve chiefly on t'ie turtles. They use the shells of the Urge ones as seats. In the town of Jaffna the ordinary tur tle is always procurable, and is a favor ite article of food with the people. The milk turtle is small in size, and is to be found only in wells and banks. It is not an article ot food except with the poorer classes. The pariah turtle has a high back, and a shell which resembles that of the tortoise. It is found in marshes and ditches. It is not an arti cle of food, but is highly valued by medical men, because its flesh and blood are supiosed to be a panacea for ailments peculiar to children. ', It was a touching story which the late Lord Shaftesbury told of some of it.. .r.tt rnii ! in tl . Em End of I-oodon. A yJung clergymen in one or the ruosi wrmcueo. nin asked his advice as to how to deal with the terrible human vice and misery of the place. Lord Shaftesbury had coun selled him to begla by establishing a ragged school, and had at the same time furnished the necessary funds. The school met with immediate- suc cess, but It was impossible, in spite of the vicar's efforts, to Induce the peop'e to come to church, and the young cler-B-vman resolved to meet them in the optn air. He selected one of the worst onnrtA and had the benches from the school taken there for his hearers to sit upon, but was dismayed when he came upon the scene to see the front row oc cupied by a number of the most notor ious roughs of the neighborhood, who, he thought, hail come to break up the services. To his surprise, however, everything went off quietly, nd when the services were over be stepped up to the leader of the gang, told him he had not expected to see him there, though he was verv ilad to welcome him, and had asked what had brought him. The man said: "Well, sir, you-ve Deen nnr little kids, so a sbiu m mj mates, 'Parson's going w preacu court on Sunday night; it's a roughuth place; lt' g uJ ,air ply. TUat's Ut brought us." A DOG THAT'S A MIRACLE. The Owner Tells Uncle Billy Bowers All About Him. Kecently on tne Uttle branch narrow gauge from Bowersville to Hartwell. I met the sheriff an unabridged, irre pressible, native Georgian. lie's a cheer fol Georgian. I o a good many people in Georgia, to nearly everybody in northeast Georgia, the sheriff's name is at once an intro duction and description, for everybody in that country knows Jim Roberta. Crouched under Jim's seat was a measley, thin, black and white cur. The dog's air of mortiScation and be wilderment was something ludicrous, and all the more noticeable because it was Jim Robert's dog. The brute's looks were against him, decidedly. Ilia countenance would have co.ivicted him of anything sucking eegs, sheep killing, chicken stealing or wnat net. lie was a miserable, mean looking dog. I, nee Billy Bowers sat lust behind Jim. The two talked like old friends, and, in the course of conversation. Uncle Billy recalled an experience of his own in wh.cb a very intelligent dog nad ugured. Jim could hardly wait for the old man to flni.sh his story. "Talk about dogs." in a matter of fact tone, as Uncle Billy concluded his dog story, "I've got the smartest dog in this country. Uncle Billy, lie don't look as fine as some dogs," reaching under the seat for the black and white cur, "but that dog's a miracle." Tiie miracle was held up by the nape ot the neck for L, nele Billy s tnspec tion, as non-committal as a dlshrag. "Them eyes," continued the owner. proudly, as the miracle walled its eyes around in a vague effort to escaue, "Just look at them eyes." Uncle Billy's face was a study. Evi dently he was not certain In bis own mind that the dog was a miracle. -Uncle Billy," in the satue uia'.ter of fact tone, as the miracle was let go, "that dog hai as much human nature in him as roe or you. I tell you what that dog does. You know that lit' le branch In my bottom? Well, sir, he goes fishin' every day at dinner time just as regular as the boys do, and the other day 1 watched bun a', it. He will run his paw up under a root or rock to scare out the fish, and theu he'll stau 1 and watch 'em as they go over the shallow places, He dou't pay any attention to the little fish not a bit lu the world. A whole drove of silver sides can wiggle and squirm over the shallow place, and Tucker won't notice em. I call him Tucker alter lr. Tucker, in Atlanta. But just let a good sized fish start down you oughter .-ee lliat dogl lie coiuea down on that Ush like a klnghsher. lie gets 'em ever time." "Don't bother the little Hah?" "Exactly but he goes for the big ones. 1 1 Lat a one reason l can on min Dr. Tucker. lie's got reuse, that dog has." "About six weeks ago," continued the owner of the miracle, "a fellow brought me a young poiuter puppy. Old Tucker has a box out in the back 3rd, but we sorter depended on the puppy to look out lor himseir. t irsi night after he got there, that blamed puppy got out on the back porch and howled and whined until I just couldu't staud it anv lougt-r. i lnahy 1 got up ud carried bun out aud put lain in Tucker's box. I hadn't more than got back in bed before that puppy was back on the porch. 1 earned him back to Tucker's box an 1 went to bed again, I had just made up my mind to go to sleep when '.hat puppy set up a whine. He was back on the porcli. 1 hated to kill the puppy. 1 just carried him back to Tucker's box, and I tried a new scheme on him. I bundled him up under Tu-ker's nose and put one of Tucker's forelegs around him. like a woman holds a laby. '.Now, Tucker,' savs I. 'hold 'iui! I went back to led and to sleep. 1 never heard anything more of the puppy that night. "Every night now, after the puppy gets his supper, old Tucker picks hnu ud and nuts him to bed. When the imiipv is frisky and don't want to go, Inciter justs picks him up by the back of the neck and theu lies down in the box and holds him till the puppy goes to sleeD. "He's a mighty polite dog. Tucker is. The doubtful look on Uncle Billy's f.u e had given place to one of vivid interest. The owner of that miracle could convince a dictionary, "l'olite?" repeated Uucle Billy. "Mighty polite dog mighty polite. Georce Parker came over a week or two ago, and brought that old hound of his aloiur. You've seen that old hound mailt' a time. George tied him to the fence, 'bout the kitchen place, and Just left him thtre. That night I threw some scram out to Tucker and the pup, but never once thought of that old hound. "Tucker looked up like he was waltin' for me to do something else, and after waitiu' for a uiiuute or so he ..i.-ked out the biggest piece of meat and started 'round the house with it. I followed to see what he would do with it. and the minute I turned the corner of the house I understood it alL There was that old hountl haau'i nau thing to eat for dinner or supper. Tucker walked ut . and laid down the . nur mn.l the old nouuu went iui a . lb. "That's a fine dog," saia cuncie Billy. "Heap o folks wouldn't er done that." Tnrlw iest set there bke he en joyed aeehV the old hound eat, waggiu In ta.lL "But the smartest thing Tucker ever done," continued the sheriff, medita-tivr-iv. "was three or four days ago there at home. That puppy got so he -..l,l kill the little chickens and finally i til him to the woodpile. That was at dinner time, and in bttle or no time lhl4, puppy had crawled around and be- twixt the logs till he had Just about ! hung himself. Tnrker heard him holler in. i "I saw Tucker go back there and ex amine just like a j udge would uo. a ne puppy was whining aud choking, and I believe he would have killed himself m five minutes longer. Tucker made up i.. mind that it was a desperate case. and lust pitched in and gnawed" Uucle Billy heaved a sigh of relief, .w th:Lt rone in two." "Smart doe." said Uncle Billy. told voo what he done. As soon as the rope was gnawed in two. Tucker toot tne rope in his moath and there he stood, noMing tue Si runPrw tIeT thTre "-. " t hi k,w.w it wouldn't lor T';. hltchin irjph,' yv. "That" "Yes, sir, that same dog I showed you. l ou wouldn't think it, would you? That dog is certainly a miracle. "' "He certainly is." airreel Uncle Billy. THE SNAKE CATCHER. Zachary Archer of the Storm King Mountain. Old In a little but on the side ot the great ; Storm King Mountain, in the Hudson Highlands, tar above the river and al most an equal distance below the loft iest pinnacle of te towering hill, lives old Zachary Archer, who supports his wife and himself, the only inhabitants of the cabin, by catching snakes. The cottage is not visible from above or be low in summer time. The thick foliage of the trees, and the undergrowth wiiich rises almost to the level of its low roof, effectually con ceal it; and as the old man has an in surmoj table objection to a fire in the kitchen in the warm weather, and makes his wife walk two miles every day to a small cave to cook their food, which is always eaten cold, no floating smoke betrays the preseuce of their dwelling. But at this season, when the mountain trees have partly with drawn the curtains that covered it, while the gorse and brushwood are cowering close to the ground as if for warmth, the desolate little building is very conspicuous. Xo other house is near it, and it is a picture of loneli ness. TRICKS OF TDE TRADE. The venerable snake catcher does not like it In the winter months, and passes as much time as he can away from It, leaving his wife and the snakes to keep each others company. They hibernate together, the serpents sleeping in the cold back room and the old woman dozing before the wood fire, which burns night and day when the snow is on the ground. Old Zack, as he is usually called, is generally pursuing his sliPDerv trade or doing his share of slumbering before a barroom stove in one of the numerous small villages or settlements at the foot of the mountain. He was engaged in the latter avocation a few days ago. when the reporter aroused him and asked him how he felt. He said he was well, but rheuma tic, and added that the reptile business was brisk. "It's always a sight safer in winter I ban in summer," be said, when he had taken something to wash down his sleepiness, "and though 1 don't get as many snakes I like it better. In summer the rattlers and the copperheads stand a chance of catch in' you instead of your trappiu' them. Y"ou ee, they'ie always wide awake and keepin' their eyes ieeled for danger. I can find them ready enough, but to get tnem in to the leather bag I carry, is a horse of another color. Sometime I set trap for them, and that's a heap the safest way. The trap is only an open basket with a lot of red flannel inside. Snakes, unless they're disturbed, will always go back to thairold sleein' ground when the sun is high. When I finl a snake track I follow it until I come either to the ser pent or his bed. If it's the serpent, I try to pin his neck to the ground with a forked ftick that l carry, .macs mighty dangerous work it he's a rattler for I must go very close to him, and, il I miss him at the first lab I'll be apt to lie closer in a second. However, I never missed yet, and I don't supjose I ever will now, I'm that experienced. When I have him down I take him with my hand, close behind the fork, so that he can't turn his bead to bite me. and drop him Into the bag. But if the snake hasn't cone to bed, and 1 aon I find hlra. go back about fifty yards along the track, and lay my basket down with the lid open. Then I hunt more seriuts. When I come to the basket a .rain. In two rours or so, l creep up I r un behind and slam the cover snuu The snake is generally Inside, mixed tip with the flannel. He's round the p'ace loo comfortable to get out of it in a hurry. Trie serpent may be the wis est beast of the field, but lie's a 1 tx"rl ous cuss, and he don't value li s life nowhere as compared with his com fort. When I Hud a hole with snake marks about its moutn 1 just hang a runnlnir noose of catgut over It, and fasten the sinele end to a stick like a fishing rod. Then I put a lunip of soft bread soaked in milk liefore the hole, and. coin' back. I hold the rod In my hand. .Nearly all snakes are dead set ..n m Ik and the smell of the bait Is nrettv sure to draw the oue I'm alter ' ... . . T . . . . 1 1 out ot tne noie. lie must, uis iirm through the loop to reach the biead. and when he does that 1 Jerk the rod. tighten the noose, arid 1 have him. It a tnfc liL-A fishin' Then there's my uog iper. no catches a lot of snake and aides me to c tch more. In the summer when ne sees a snake, I e ll walk around him un til tie makes him dizzy trying u keep his uirlv eves piinted at the danger. At last he'll either drop his head or make a turn the other way to take the kinks out of his boJy. Then Viper is on him as quick as a wink. He grabs him by the back or the neck out or reacu of his fangs, and bring him to me with out hurtinir him. In tne winter ne can't catch the snakes himself, but lie leads me to boles in trees and other snug places where they lie. Just to lie on the safe side, I push a stick Into thIr bedrooms first: but they're always as good as dead, they're so sound asleep and I canpuu them out. wuu mj uauu, covered with a thick cloth glove. 1 iiv tn use a irood deal ol either to stupefy my snakes when I'm movin' them from the uox or oau m m- other. .. "Who buvs my serpents? ell, in tell you. Circuses aud small mus ums, as well as old fossils of naturalis s, who are always wantin' curiosities, and when 1 catch a snake with two heads, nr two tai's. which I do about three times a year, I get a good price often as much as iw ior uiui. juc common reptiles are worth only a few dollars each. Hello, nere's a iper. Where have vou been, sirr There's no buakes down here, you know. An ill lookinc doff, with only one eye, trotted up to the stove and lay down before his master. His worth as a serpent chaser may have been lnn estimate, but his market value was clearly below par. New Y'ork Sun. It's not the gay coat makes the gentle man. The best way to clear out and straight en the frince of towels, doilies, etc. before ironing, is to comb it, wnile damp, with an inch length of coarse toilet corah. Take codliver ofl in tomato catsup. J to mk it palatable. BURYING A CHINAMAN. How the Dead Mongolians are Dis I posed of. j We are in the Chinese quarter of i Pan Francisco. Here is a house where a death has ocenred. A Chinese friend' procures admittance for us, so that we may see something of Chinese funeral customs. As soon as breith has left f the body professional mourners are (called in. who deck it with all the finery possible. If it is a female that has died her cheeks are heavily rouged, and, if the deceased in life was not the owner of sufficient jewelry to decorate her remains with, friends and relatives are called upon to furnish the desired amount. If the weather is favorable the body is laid out on a table that is placed in a street or alley adjoining the late resi dence of the deceased, but covered from sight with a large white cloth. Xext to the table holding the deceased is another table covered with meat, candit-s, preserved cocanut and g nice' a, together with a liberal supply of Chinese wine aud brandy. Among the funeral meats will always be found a pig or hog roasted whole, the size of the porcline offering being graded according to the age of Uie de ceased. As soon as the body and feast are laid out in state the serious work of the professional mourners commences. The number of mourners according to the social standing of tue deceased in life from six to ten being the average for an adult. The mourners are dressed from head to foot in white, the face and head be ing hid from sight by a sort of a hooi. so that one cannot tell whether the mourners are male or female. The first move is to gather around the bier aud chant a mornful dirge, not for getting to extol the many virtues of the departed. During this time they are constantly moving around in a circle to pi event any evil spirit from creeping in and so getting possession of the body. As soon as the dirge Is over the mu siclaus commence beating the gongs. cymbals and tomtoms, the mourners at the same tune giving vent to groans, sjeeches and howls, varying the pro ceedings by beatiug themselves aud others with clenched fists, pulling their hair and knocking their hea ls against the adjoining building. They keep this up until they work themselves into a perfect state of frenzy and together with tiie musicians make such an up roar that one would think that pande monium hid broken loose. The object of beating the gongs, etc., is to frighten the devils away, in the meantime, every two or ths.e minutes, handf uls of small pieces of paper are thrown in the air, over the body of the deceased, so that if by any chance any of the devils should get by the mu sicians and mourners they would be frightened by the pieces of paper, as they are supiosed to represent so many good spirits. 1 hen joss sticks, punk and incense are kept burning. The mourning and tacket last for at least twenty-four hours. The morning of the funeral the body is taken from the bier, and alter being stripped of the ornaments aud other finer y is placed in a coffln. A piece ol money is placed in the hands of the de ceased, a written prayer or charm is nut in the mouth aud a bottle ot wine or brandy, together with a liberal lowance or food, is inclosed m the cof fin. Then an express wagon is obtained and the food aud liquor are placed in the wacon. and two or more men are continually throwing Joss pajfrs In the air uutil thenr burying ground reached. Second in the line of the pro cession is a wagon filled with the hired mourners, then the relatives and friends follow, the deceased bringing up the rear, with the exception of two men who are detailed to follow behind and scatter jo-s papers. Wheu the grave is reache I the real agony begins. The mourners redouble their efloris and the musicians beat their gongs, etc., with nil the power possible. The coifin is lowered into the grave, another piece of money is placed upon the top ot the colli u and the grave filled up. The money is for the pur- iKjse of paying the god of waters for rowing the deceased across the dark wateis. It is supposed that the god of waters will be salished by merely seem; the money in the bands of the deceased The money on top of the cofhu Is for the benefit of the evil spirits. After the grave is filled the eatables, sweet meats and liquor are placed over it, as the mere sight of the food will appease the hunger of the gods. Tiie food does not remain at the grave very long. The morning after any one is allowed to take it away, as the spirits are supposed to have satis fied their hunger during the night, so at sunrise the next morning they are gen erally plenty of imjecunious Chinese who are glad to avail themselves of the food of the gods, as they call it. Ceneral Sherman's Trained Eye. An interesting story of General Sher man is told by a park guard. When lie was last in this city he was riding along the Wissahickon when he saw the sergeant of the guard riding toward him. "That man is an old cavalry man," said the general, and wheu he got opposite to him he was saluted by the sergeant in a military manner: "Halt, sergeant,'' said the general. The latter stopped and again saluted. "You are an old soldier, a cavalry man, senreaut." said Sherman. "Yes, General, of the Seventh Cav alry; I served twelve years after the war." "Ah! then you know ot Custer and Major Reno?" "I was one of the fortunate ones of that command to escape and be rescued bv Terry." Sherman smiled. When the old sol dier told again the tale of the massacre. At the conclusion General Sherman said: "Sergeant, let me shake hands with vou: you are a brave man." "1 never make a mistake," added the general as be drove on. "A civilian never rides like that, and the salute settled all doubts. Opportunity. A man who sat day-drAamlng in his chair beheld a vision, w.dch stood be fore blm and b -ck nd bim to fo low her to fortune. He wa tel alng;?sh ly, heeded rot ber call nor h:r beckon ing, until at last sna grew aim ana ais aipeared. Just as the visloa fade! be smanz to V.s feet and cried out. "Tell u.e who thou art!" and received the aner, "I am Opportunity; one neg lect, d, I never return." Led By a Little Child. Throaeh depir. that bitter leaven, I had lost my hope of heavep. And the tilth I once bad, seven-fold, was dead: All my feelings were unholy;! was humbled. out not lowly. A I lay a-dvlnii slowly on my bed. With my wild ambitions th-tarteu, and my dar- li ne drams departed. 1 rebelled, fttill stonv-liearted. at the rod: But with verees that she read me, while with kise sweet she fed me. A dear little child has led me back to God. I was sire, and seeming teacher, to this artless little creature. Like me. both in form and feature was my child: Though my sins were red as scarlet, and I was a worthless variet, n me. like the heavens star-lit. Eva smiled. had quaked in luar ot dying, drcauiug outcast to be lvine. W'ith mv Wickedness so rrvine. 'neath the sod : But her siinnle wiles have caught me: with tiie lessons sne nas lauKnt me. My dear Amy's child has brought me back to boa. For one day. as she was reading, with her voice so sweetly pleading. On my bosom torn aud bleeding sank soft balm : Sin's acrursed chains were riven, the dark spirit was out-iriren. A nd unto mv soul was iriven Eden's calm. hen the Sacrament they bore me, to the blest ru n to restore me. And the n:tt h lav iilain before me onee T trod lwas my cnua orouuni nieinrisi scnance.ana led me. destnte hell's malice. Through the porta la of His palace, back to God. As my dyine eyes grow dimmer. Canaan brighter seems to cummer; ran see white lillios shimmer Jordan o'er Where the sorrowful cease sighing, where God wines awaviu crviue. Where rnne aifonv and dvine nevermore: When 1 pass the sappnire-studuea, peari-wnue irate, with c orv niMMled. Where waves starry almond-budded, Aaron's rod, Then a child with bright hair streaming. dazzhne fair bevond all dreamintr. Shall lead me up to the gleamine throne of God. N. C. J. M Alt ABO N. X. C. J. Marabon," his name stood on the class roll. The rules of the col -ege required that the name of each student should appear in full, and tuine was there as Gabriel Fierce lieliort. His was the sole exception, and why it was so, as in the case of Lord Dun dieary's puzzle, "no fellow could find out." When N. C. J. came he de clined to comply with the rule and de sired to give his reasons, confidentially. to the (acuity, lhat august boly. beinz as curious as the juniors, met in secret conclave to consider the case and listened to the petition. Ilia ex cuses were sufficient and they accorded the exemption. Hut when he emerged triumphantly from the faculty chamber, lust as the door Closed, there was a terrible burst of laughter In nis rear. This piqued our curiosity still more. The secret seemed to be Impenetrable. A . u. J. himself was as mule as an otster in the matter, and we dared not pump the prof ssors, though we always pronounced them to be old pumps. However, X. C J. turned out to be no end of a good fellow. He was as strong as a bull aud as agile as a Cat, and after he had thrashed a hair dozeu who had undertaken to haze him and proved himself to be the best baiter in the ball field be became popular. He used to tell a great many stones of life in Xortli Carolina, from whence he came, and always, no matter how funny they were. ith a grave face, bo we nick named him North Carolina Joker Mar rowbone, aud it stuck, or part of it. and we addres.-ed him indifierentlv as North Car'lina, or Joker, or Marrow bone, as the whim struck us, and he took either in good part. Marabon and I became quite Inti mate. e were chums, passed through our four years of college life together and were graduated at the same time, Then he went back to North Carolina and I took up the study of law and in three years' time was called to the bar, We kept up a correspondence, though we did not meet. About two years after we had taken our degree he came to New Y ork and our letters continued. He was quite rich and liked New Y'ork and club life. I was not quite so well off. and lived in Brantford, our coun try town, rarely going away, even lor a vacation. I was quite surprised then oue day. a short while after I began iractice. he walked intj my office. Of course I was glad to see him. seated him in my clients' chair and produced a box of cigars from oue of the draw ers. We each lit a cirar when we leaned forward. "Bell," lie said he always railed me so for short "I'm in a mess of trouble and 1 must have some advice. I thought of you and as I know yo i are not so great a fool as you look I ran up here by the ten o'clock train to con sult voil." 'Well." said I. not much flattered by part of his speech, and determined iu return him a itoland for ins Oliver, the conference of two fools is not likely to amouut to much, but what is it? ' It involves a secret." he said. "which you must consider professional, By the way. what kind of a cigar is this?" Key West," I replied laconically. I thought fo. Wrhy don't you smoke Havana?'' "Can't afford it." "Can't, eli? WelL partly as a fee and partly out of regard for yours truly, 1 shall send you a hundred o: the right sort as soon as I get to town again." "All right, I'll accept them; but am I to wait for your story until the cigars get here?" 'No. Y'ou see I've been expecting to marry. The lady has confessed she reciprocra'es and all wai sailing along smoothly when up pops an obstacle." 'Who is the ladv, Matrowbone?" "Miss EJitli Ktt-.-itas. You have heard of liei V" "I should think I had. Daughter or old Keteltas who made his money in no natter how lie made it he did make it. The lady is a belle, a beauty, his sole heiress and every one speaks well of her. Permit me to congratulate you. But what is the obstacle?" "Take notice that ull this is under the rose. The obstacle is this: I shall have to give my full name when I get married. In fact, she wants to know it now. What shall I do?" "Do! Why give it, of course. Why not?" "But how can I ever do it? Y'ou don't know ye , but wl en you do you wid see that it is quite imiossible. I should never he ir the list of it. The newspaper repot ten would get it. The little boys would shout it ou the streets. It would be in the comic papers. They'd sing songs about it at the min strel shows. It is too dreadful to think of." "What on eatth can you mean? You seem excited. Take another cigar." "Thank you, I will. A e you sure there Is no one in hearing?" "Not a soul." "Well N stands for Napoleon." "A good enongh name. What is there dreadful in that?" "And C stands for Caesar." "The two together are od !, but not ao very." And J well, J is for JehosophaL Now every one nearly mis-pronounces my name any how. and I put it to you, as a friend, if I can go through lire as Napoleon Caesar Jchosophat Marrow bone." I had to laugh I couldnt help it not so much at the name as at the intense misery and despair In the coun tenance of Marabon. When I recoveied myself I asked: "How in the name ot goodness did you come by such a queer collection of namesr" I'll tell you a bit of family history. You see, we Marabons are of an old North Carolina family of Huguenot de scent, and pretty well off. My father's Christian name was Algernon, lie use 1 to say it should have been Issachar that he was an a s stooping Ietweea two burdens, his wife and his mother-in-law he was given to bitter speeches. When I was born there was some dis cussion about a proper name for me. It was a regular family council. Tlieie were Grandfather and G rand uioi her Marabon, Grandfather Jenifer, father and mother. Grandmother Jenifer was a rather important per-oiiagfi. She was richer than the Maialious, a widow, and could leave her proiierty to whom she pleased. My mother's younger sister, Felicia, had married with s-am Martin against her consent. and she declared none of the Mrriius should be the better of her money. There was no one else for her to leave it to but mother or me. So her views in the matter had to receive respect." "She was one of your father's 'bur den,' " I said when he paused. 'i-.xactly; but he didn t tell her so. Well, they met. My gtandfather voted for l'eler. 'Let us have one good, sen sible, substantial name. I let my s n be christened Algernon, to please his mother, but one fool name is quite enough in a family." Grandmother MaraOon thought heought to be named after his father. Mother timidly sug tested John!' lhen Grau'lmother Jenifer nare.I up, 1 eter is baa enough, she said, and Algernon worse: but Joluil Why, every one will call h in Jack" teupposa they do,' said mother. plucking up spirit. 'John is always called Jack by those who like him. It shows he is a good fellow, 'Our Johnny I' sneered Granduioth: r Jenifer. "'1 didn't think of that,' said mother, appalled at the possibility, hat would you call blm, mamma.-" " 'If I am to have any say in the matter,' said Grandmother Jenifer should suggest a name of a quite differ ent kind. 1 he boy bids fair to grow up to t a fioe man with a great head ou his shoulders; that comes from the Jenifer side of the house, at least from t he Setons, for he has my father's head to a mold; and 1 shouldn't be surprised if lie became a great soldier or lawyer. or something. He should have a name wi ll a ring in it, a something that will stimulate him to do something to de serve it, a name to rouse his ambitioi and strengthen uls purpose. Call him Napoleon Ciesar.' Mother agreed to this, she always gave in to her mother at last, but the others demurred. There was a tie vote, for father seemed to be barre l out. They wrangled over the thing lor two days, when Grandfather Marabou proiHJSod a compromise. 'Let's leave it to the minister,' lie said. 'Dr. C ur- ran is a sensible as well as a good man. lyet every one write down the name he or she prefers on the same sheet o paper. Algernon can hand it to Ur C'urran and tell him he is to select the oue he thinks best.' This was finally agreed to. Grandfather and Grand mother Marabon lioth wrote what called fine hands, and G rand mother Jenifer a bold hand. This time she enlarged it until it rose to what the boys at school called a 'big hand,' an the NaiKileon Caj-ar went two-lh i Is of the way across the page, i'a'ii -r took the paMT. He did not ai - a straw whether I was calle I IVter of Algernon, but he revolted at Napo leon Caspar. So, before lie handed the paper to the minister, he wrote Jehosophat! in quite as big letters as Grandmother Jenifer's, right after hers. This was to call Dr. Curran's attention to the absurd. ty of the name just In fore. Now you see how the thing Is shaping?' "I can't nay that 1 do, as yet." "Ahl But you must know that my father was a soft t-pokeu in in, and when he said in alow voice, "i'uu will liud the name on this pair. Dr. Curran, you are to choose w hich.' The minister only caught the first part of Ins re marks. He looked at the paper. Ho was a little short-sighted; but lie canuht Grandmother Jeniter's big letters and my father's after them and quite over looked the others. He thought the j name queer, but not exactly oien to canonical objection, and it fixed itself in his miud. So when the moment came 1 had the name of Naioleon Cu-ser Jehosophat fixed on me as tightly as the church could do it." "Then your Grandmother Jenifer must have been pleasrd?" "!3ut she wasn't though. She de clared that father had done it on pur pose to make fun ot her. She left our house and took up w ith Sam Martin, and when she died she left to I'elicia aud her children ever) thing she had." "That was bad." "It wasn't bad for the Martin?, ami I have enough. Hut how am I to break the matter to Edith?" 'It is the easiest thing in the world, my dear joker. 'Napoleon Marabou' sounds very welL" "But the Cav-ar aud that abominable Jehosophat?" "Give them the goby. Follow the example of men or rank abroad. There isn't a king, nor a royal prince, nor the head of a noble house that ha-ai't from three to thirty nauies given him at hi baptism, but he never uses but one. There is no law here that forces you to use more than one of yours. Drop the I ajsar aud the Jehos inhat, at least the Jehosophat, and with the bravery inherent to the name itself, march to matrimony as Napoleon Marabou." N. C. J., as N. C. J. no more, took comfort aud my advice. I was the gloom's list man when Miss Editli Keteltas lcame Mrs. Napoleon Mara bon, and the gratitude of my friend s-eins to know no bounds. He not only cave bis willingness, hut be never rested till I removed to New York, where he promoted my fortune in vari ous was. I am always an honored guest at his table, aud a very young uentleman in New York bears the name of Gabriel llelfort Marathon. But a secret will leak out. I am sure I never breathed it to any one; I am equally sure that Napoleon never did. unless it might have bten muttered in sleep: but Mr. Marabon knows all about it. Yesterday they had a good uatured dispute, to which I was an am uie J listener. Marabou's logic was too m1 ch for h wife, who took refuge in a ret oi t. Looking quizzically she raised ber foieOuger, and to her hus band's great astonishment, said: "Now, you Jehosophat!" Why the Baby Came. Pillowed on flowers, with a hnlf-oen bnd in his tiny hand, the bubv lay, a beautiful image of repose. Nothing rould be lovelier than the delicate face, the little lips just parted, the white brow shaded bv soft, silken curls. There was nothing of the repulsion from death which some people always suffer beeide a corpse, to 1 felt lv the most sensitive here. As lieautiful now as he ever had been in his brief sweet life, the darling seemed to be asleep. But it was a frozen sleep. I he strong man, pale witn suppressed emotion. was one who liud lelt tne louutains oi fatherhood stirred for the first time, ' when the little one uttered his first feeble cry. The mother, leaning od his strength now, because grief had crushed all her own, had lieeu thrilled with the highest joy of wonianhoo 1 when this nursling was given her, six months ago. Everything was over now. The little garments must In folded up, and put away. There would le no need of wakening in the night to take cure of baby. Baby w as gone. 1 he minister said tender words, and prayed a prayer ol thankfulness ana trust. He had been to bo many baby- funeruls in the quarter-century during which he had led his flock, the words of comfort came readily to his lips, and he meant them every one. He felt that f such as this wee blossom were the flowers fittest for the kingdom ol heaven. Bv-and-bv, the last ritos were per formed. There was one littlo mound the more in the cemetery, and one more desolate house in the town. These bereft parents were elect members of the largest household under the stars, the household of the mourning. I he world is full of sympathetic hearts that are busied with their own cares and perplexities. There are al- wavs many to have a passing and very sincere sorrow for those who have been atllicted, yet after awhile, when in the opinion of friends there has leeu tiint enough for the recovery of cheerful ness, even relatives and friends LiegiD to chide the persistently sad. "Whv did the babv come, if it wa so soon to be taken away?" say these. lou niav notice that vou si-idoui hear this question from the lips of a mother. She is glad, away down in tin' pro- foundest depths of her wounded heart. that she had the child, though it 1k re moved from her arms. She is glad to wear the mother's crown, though it be a crown of thorns. To the inquirer may this answ er be made. The babv came for two great reasons. Ono whs that he might broad en and enlarge the whole life-sweep ol all who loved him. Iheir care for him gave them a comprehension of the mys tery of childhood, and a feeling of the fut Let hood of God, that without him thev might never have possessed. The other was that the little ppirit, flying heavenward, might draw by a slender silver-thread, invisible but never slackening, the hearts of father and mother, to the laud where lit dwells, of whom the whole family IE heaven and in earth is named. The baby came nt in vain. .luior'.i A cuild should bo taught to resjiocl other person's property, and not t. destroy it, especially not to injure oi mar any part of a hired houseanv uior than he would his mother's own house. A f'H!M should I' taught not to tres pass on liis mother's neighl sir's prop erty, in fact, ho should bo instructed in ull these tilings as soon as he begin to understand the difference beteeL mine and thine, and that knowledge comes very curly. '! hf.iie area few points on which even small children could Ik) instructed V advantage that many mothers entirely neglect, but ot course these are not in lligent mothers. A child should be taught never to taste anything from s bottle, lest he injure hntw It. evci i touch what does not belong to him. Never to make loulires. Never to tor ment animils, for two reasons, one be cause it is cruel, and the other is be cause he might receive injury thereby. Resent Inn the Outrage. Mr. Daniel, the man of parrots, in the Klmba 1 House, made a queer deal the other day. He has lately received a very fine macaw, of gorgeous plum age, and the bird has been greatly admired. But when one of the high muc-a- tnucks of the Comauches was saunter ing along the street and espied him lav became wild. "How much feather?" he asked. "No wantee sellee tedder," replied the dealer lu his blandest Chinee, not being able to talk Comanche. How much red feather"' repeated the (Jomanche. "No wantee sellee led fedder," again rejieatfd Mr. Daniel, feeling very much embarrassed. "Quarter for red feather?" "No." "Fifty cents?" Mr. Daniel shook his head. That was irresistible, and the dealer Ouarter for blue feather," said the Comanche. "Can't getee 'longee 'thoutee blue fedder," said the dealer impatiently. "Must have it. Half a dollar." "No." "Dollar?-" "It's a go," said Mr. Daniel, recov ering bis English, aud taking the macaw inside he carefully clipiwd od the two feathers and handed them V. the delighted Indian, who threw down his f i and utlerred a suppressed war whoop as he strode off down the street. The macaw was so rnad when lie looked around at his tall that he mut tered several Brazilian cuss-words, re fused to speak to his master and went to bed without his supper. Josh Billing's Philosophy. Thare lz nothing we are more apt to parade before others than our kares and sorrows, and thare iz nothing the world kares so little about. If you hav enny doubt about the vast amount of virtew that the last genera- shun ponsest, go and studdy the epilaffn UV VJ'l.AUJ e, honesty, la the grave-yaras. Take aSability. good sense. and good breeding, mix them together, and shake them well, and you hav the Ingredients for a gentleman. The good things a man dux are hard to remember, the evil things are dread- full easy. The world seems to be governed bl example; thare lz hardly enny one so low down the kkale but what he haz Liz lxQuUtators, NEWS IX BRIEF. rittsburg has the largest ax fac tory in the world. It turns out 3.00U axes per day. There are 210,003 men, women and children in this country wearing arti ficial limbs, not iuclud ng old soldier'. Miss Braddon, whose "LaJy Aud ley's Secret" came out early in the sixties, has lsued another novel, her fifty-first, in London. Henry Warren, aged SI, the oldest newsboy in Connecticut, will soon re tire from business. His life long route lias been ltween New Haven aud An soni . King Oscar of Sweden has written and coiiiiosed an oiera entitled "The Castle of Krouberg," which will before long be produced at several continental opera houses. Hops were in use in England In HJ.'i. according to the llarleian manu script. Other authorities claim their introduction from the Netherland lu 1"JS, and their use in brewing. This Use was prohibiten in The Coie.m does not have the trouble of carrying his umbrella in his hand. It is like an ordinary umbrella in general shape, ouly it is smaller and has uo handle. It is made of otlel paer and is worn on the head over the hat. A current statement, asserting that Prince Albert, of Monaco, with his deep-sea researches, and Archduke Ludwig, of Austria, the naturalist and traveler, are the only two men or science in the royal ranks, does Injus tice to Duke Charles Theodore, of Ba varia, whose science as an oculist has made hiiu a benefactor to thousands of his nation. The recent heavy rainfall and cold weather all over Austria and llungatv have quenched the last hopes of a goo 1 vintage. It is reorled. In many vine yards the grapes are rotting unripe on the stalks. The yield of grapes was plentiful this year, and. up to the mid dle of August, an unusually good vin tage was expected. S'.aulej's latest uiovenii uls in Africa are said to be int-inately con nected with a large ivoiy speculation, in which he is interested, but the joui li. il which first seut hlin to the dark continent rather approves of his theft, with the reinai k that he has alread) done his full share for goojraphy and glory, and that it is about time that he should bCiiiu to look out for himself." An Illinois slraugcr at a Toledo hotel, uufaiuiliar with the electric light, tried to blow it out. No use; next he tied knots in the string, by which it was suspended, hoping to choke nil the light. That failed, and then he wound a towel around the bulb and went to beJ. After he was asleep the towel ignited and set the room ou liie. The house was saved from a coull.tgratlon by the timely discovery by the night watchman. Sttan je leeovcry of sight. A nono iCeiiuri.tu "I 1 1 ilis lale, Mich., w ho had been blind for seven years lately as.on Ishcd her household by temporarily re covering her sight. "At first she was able only to distinguish l lit from daikuess, but while sitting at the din ner table her sight got almost as strong as ever, and sh" was able to tell the color of dishes and pa:T on the walls, etc. This last -d n at ly two hours, when she aaiu lapsed into total dark ness." Mr. Gould's graym-s has increased very much of l.ilc.lle was the picture of healthy and vigorous manhood two years uo, but now his gray hair is al most white. The manner ot astute S'-ir-constraiiit, which al.vavs distin guished hlin has dis'ls-ued cons.derably, and he is now exceedingly reticent and quiet. This is from a casual observa tion of the tnau us lie appeals in pub-li.-, and It may be all on the surface, but it is certain th it the change in Mr. Gould is great. At a nieeliiig of thf Academy of Sccucesat l'aiis recently, M. Mascart gave a true account of the striking by lightning of tin? Eillel toer, which took place on August 1'., and exaggera ted reports of which appealed lu the daily paH ls. 1 he conductor was struck, w ii h the noi m il i-sult', showing per fect coiiiiu in. :c i i -it with faith, and consequently '"uip t silety of the structure iiom any da ig- r on this score. The most r ina:kahle kiss up n recrd is that which was given by tueen Margaret lo Alain CharUer in-ue than 4-o yi ai i ago. lie uas a po'-t, but th - ugiii st man iu i'lauce. During his l:le linn- In-enjoyed a won- icrful rcput dii.ii. but after his death he was foi got ten. He n now chiefly rem inls-ie-l on account of the kiss which the tueen piessel uimui his dreaming lipi one day a- she found him sleeping, s tying to bet m ild as she did so: "I ki-s not t!ie in in; I kisstlm soul that sings." A curious histoiical document hangs in the private nili e or J udge John J. Gorman at J West Fourteenth street, New Voik. Il purports to be the original coinmls-ioii gi anted by .loliu Hancock, President of the United Males, ou Oct. 1 177i, to John I'aul J"""- ",e KIT'11 " lV" ! lievolutioii. 1 ne s gna'Uie of I resi- dent Hancock is In l.n well-known round hand, and the sci ipt of John i'aul Jones' name apj as to have been written lu the same bo d hand. Kefeiimg to le-r in, Murat Hal stead says: There is pr bibly uo city in the worid in wuicli the police business is so precisely atte.i led lo as iu Berlin. A little girl cannot get into the town without beihg repot led to the i!ice, even if she is in care of her mo; ler, aud once a week tl.eie is known with ex actness the iiuni er of -rsous who were iiorn and die 1 or who came iuto anddeparlel from the (My. Anl in this way the who. ipul-'itioii is ac counted for bv t archil we-kly compari sons. The latest euiiinerat.oli we heard of Berlinets they lac-k'-d jut 17 of be ing a million and a half. mule that was shot while accom t anying Sherman on his fa i us march to tue sea is l.ving iu r-tiiem -nt at Spanish I'alk, Fla. It is lielieved to be at least 4J years 4'J years old. After Ijeing wounded its ow ner, w ho thought a greit deal of the Ix-a it. left it with a KIM "' ..... I would look after !t he would it som day." The fai mer tc Georgia farmer. ami tol l him "if he come for ok it and cared for it, and, suie enough, iwune time after the war, the mule was called I for by the ex-Yankee foM:erand taken to Florida. He k-pt il until he died, J i is widow then tunnel thy oil mule 'out to die, as its las of usefulness were over, but the veteran r.uud a friend in ita present owner. The mule, having lost its teeth now lives all gether on soft food.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers