B.V gOHWEIER, the ooziTiTU 'iicx m toot-in in EnoMEKnrr or txb laws. Editor and Proprietor. XLI. MIFFLINTOWN, JUNIATA COUNTY. PENNA., AVEDNESDAY. JUNE 29, 1887. NO. 27. I Who Knows? I .nntr fair-aye pair.- fair, fIZ 1 tV as the lnijdinjj rose ; iautv u.-ath that outward RraceT Who 1.2 '' ' -who knows I i. ' t of "'"'io1 from those ryes? D!nV lore teat in n m dows? rw to the ,bal ""S" th"? . Li-uiivc. though it ahii.es so fair? Whokuows who knows? nvs fait fair form a fairer charm, A tend", lovitJS heart enclose? . hear' wbos tendrils, like the vine, " j round the heart that loved it twine? lo knows who knows? And skou'.J V.V fk.v 1 overcast And ntl',,ri"S lt,uj!i """"nd thee cio,e, BWdlortune frown ami false friends rlee Wou'd that heart mill elm- close to thee? Who knows who know? Or is ska. n bhe ev,'r bc' As fickle as the wind that blows Anders as Ifit were at p'.ay, TridirC w aU who own her sway T Who knows who knows? Eiit wLr J'r'V to doubt remain ? Why halt 'iwi.vt hop and fear? pro-po- p' ? niaj I waiting till you dare To crown with love that oeauty rare, Who knows who know s ? A MYSTERIOUS VALISE. ':.tiv, will you kindly keep your onmvbiig for a few minutes.' 1 .in ffjiaz'to liavo a plunge in the Ser wntice." said a w eli-Jrcssed, niiddle- ascd rentlernau to rue, oae warm sum user morning a few years ago, as I was oa duty at the park gate of KuigLta- tiride CavaVv Barracks. "All riiilit. sir," I replied. 'If I am relieved before you return, 1 s'uall hand ii over to tl:e next sentry." "Oh, I shan't 1 more than half an Lour a, the lau-st, as 1 must be in the city by nice. 1 prefer leaving my va lise with you; there are so ninny vaga bond always swarming about Hyde Park, that it is quite possible that one of them might take a fancy to it while I im lathing. It doesn't contain very valuable projieriy ouiy a suit of clothes and a few documents 'of no use to any one tut the owner,' as tlie saying is. All the same, however, I have n) de sire to lose it." So saying, the gentle naa turned away, and walked briskly across the paik in the direction of the terpentine. The request to look after his property did sot in the least surprise me, as EHaitrous robberies from the clothing of persons b.ithmg had for some time before been reported to the police. I lifted the bag upon which the letters W. ". were painted, and which was in the battered condition Indicative of baying been much tumbled about and u'ced it behind the low wall that lay between the barracks and the footpath. The barracks clock struck eight Fully half an hour hud elapsed since the owner of the bag departed, and as yet there was no sign of him; the "quarter-past" was chimed fro a the neighboring clocks, and still he did not turn up; and, as the minutes passed, 1 thought to myself that it was time lie was looking sharp if he really wished to be In the city by nine. About halt-past eight I perceived a great commotion in the park. Men were rushing from all quarters in the direction of the Serpentine; and soon afterwards I ascertained from a passer by that the excitement was caused by one of the numerous bathers having beea drowned. An uneasy suspicion was at ence excited within me that the person a lio had come to such a sad end was the gentleman who had left his valise in hy charjre, which suspicion wag intensified when 1 was relieved at cbe, with the article still unclaimed. I reflected, however, that its owner may fcave been chained to the scene of the disaster by that morbid curiosity which induce people to linger about the pot where any calamity of the Kind bas recently occurred, and then, finding tliat be was pressed for time, and know bag that bis proierty would le irfect!y Bafe, had gone direct to the city. I Landtd over the baj to the sentry who relieved me without mentioning to him an) thing of the circumstances of the case; and when he returned from duty at eliven, I eagerly asked him U the valise had been called for. "o," he replied, "it i3 still lyinz behind the wail." I went on sentry again at one o'clock and no one bad come for it. It wat the height or the London season and Hyde Park presented its customary gav appearance; but the imposing array of plendidly-appoinled equipages, dash ing equestrians and fashiouabiy-dressed ladies and gentlemen, which at other times was to me a most Interesting pectacle, that afternoon passed by un heeded, as all my thoughts were cen tered on sutculatioos regarding the fate of the ownar of the bag. Before being relieved at tttree I had it conveyed to niy roorn in barracks, and after coming off guaTd placed it tor greater security Ja the troop store. That evening. le lore "sUbles," when the orderly cor poral Lad read out the duties for the ucceedlng day, he said, addressing e: "Jones, you have to attend the orderly room to-morrow." Whj?" I Inquired. . i ou have lieen reported for neglect ing to salute Captain Sir Carnaby Jeuks as he passed Vou while on sentry this "temooik" was the corporal's au iwer. I laid nothing by way of excuse, ims heinous charge was in all proba bility true, 1 LmJipva t miht hnv- T1' t0 "I'seut" to Her Majesty j " xeu uer.-;t, if she had passed afternoon In her state carriage, s uf;"?1?? was 1 Ly tue engrossing sub ject of this valise. After stables, I left barracks for my Mtate . ti r "'"uu purcuasing a copy r!t ,fc5 rta'1 tbe Particulars of the laiaiityof the morning. Frieuds had Identmed the body, whieli was that of i em?n name,J ixon, who had Mded at Bayswater. lni'tui"1 corresponds with the talUal 'on the bag," I thought to t.an i i-ici icport uiai a man WW been nm..i i , hiv, "--"iuoi on suspicion oi th ,f f,Ueujpted to rule the pockets or the drowned man, and wno had been roughly handled by the Procu7e,i m 1 , luilceian could be jSSwl1" lat9 Llm Illto custoJy. caU a?.70mt s reflctkn X decided to border r6i given in tbe lP?r' S)n of ti ,ar,iln8e about tbarestura Kd 8 10 the ot the aiit!"-8 tUe. h0U3 I knocked auftlv tordorT ; uu.suted my to I was a? i aPIired, by whom 17 afterward was waited upon by a now periectly convinced that Je deceased was the person I had seen "oralug. I aUj ascerUlued lOUl LLI youiijr lady, the daughter of the de ceased, who, naturally enough, was perfectly overcome with grief. I ex plained to ber in a few words the ob ject of my visit. "I am uncertain whether poor papa had a valise of that description when he left this morning," she said; "but possibly you may recognize him from the photograph," submitting one she took from the table for rsy inspection, I experienced, a strange sense of re liefthe features in the photo were those of a person bearing no resem blance whatever to the individual who had left his bag in my charge. The young lady thanked me heartily for the trouble I had taken In the mat- j ler; and I left the house of mourning aim reiurnea 10 iue Darracks in a very uiystiQed state of mind. - "Could the owner of the bag be the thief who was caught in the act of plundering the dead man's clothes?" I asked myself, but immediately dis missed the idea from my mind, as being absurd and Improbable, Xext day I attended the orderly room, and received a severe admoni tion from the commanding officer. Fortunately fer me, as it happened, Sir Carnaby had been In plain clothes, so my offense in the eye of martial law was of a comparatively venial charac ter. Immediately afterwards I con sidered it my duty to report the cir cumstances attending the valise to the adjutant, who in turn communicated with the police authorities at Scotland Yard; and that evening, pursuant to instructions received, I had the bag conveyed to that establishment. After I had explained how it was placed in my charge, it was opensd in my pres ence by an official, and was found to contain just a suit of clothes and a few newspapers, but no documents of any kind, as stated by its owner. After this the bag ceased to interest me, as tbe valueless character of its contents caused me to speculate less on the unaccountablo conduct of its pos sersor in never returning for it. I may mention that I read an account in the evening paper regarding the alleged thief who had been apprehended on the Serpentine Bank under the circum stances before alluded to. By the name of Judd he had been taken before a magistrate and remanded for a week, iu order that inquiries might be made concerning him. bome time afterwards I was on Queen's guard, Westminster. I had jusl mounted my horse and taken up position in one of the two boxes facing Parliament street, when a gentleman stopped opposite me and scanned me curiously. Addressing, me, he said: "Don't you remember me?" "Taerewasno mistaking the voice; it was that of the owner of the bag! Otherwise, he was greatly altered, as be had denuded himself of the luxu riant whiskers and mustache which he wore when I saw him previously. 'What has been wrong?" I asked. "Oh. I was seized with a fit that morning when I cawe out of the water, and was taken home in an unconscious state. I have been very unwell ever since, and have left my house for the first time to-day. I made inquiries at the barracks about you; and as the sol dier I spoke to seemed to know about the bag I left with you, ho directed me here." "Well, sir," I said, "1 had quite made up my mind that you were the gentleman who was drowned that morning; and when I discovered my mistake, I am almost ashamed to own that I took you for the man who was apprehended on the charge of trying to plunder the drowned man's clothes." The gentleman smiled pleasantly and said: "Ah! I read about that. And now to business. I wish to get my bag at once. 1 presume you have it in safe-keeping at the barracks?" "It's much nearer at hand," Ire plied "ju3t across the street from here;' and then I told him that it was in the custody of the police authorities at Scotland Yard. This information apparently discon certed him. "It is very awkward indeed," he aid. "I have to catch the six train for Liverpool, as I wish to sail by the steamer that leaves to-morrow morning for 2sew York. Couldn't you come across with me to get it?" "You forget that I am on sentry," I replied, "1 won't be relieved until four; and even then I &aren't leave the guard; nor would I care to ask permis sion to do so. You should go at once to the Captain of the guard and repre sent the case to him; and perhaps, un der the circumstances, he will permit me to accompany you." Acting on my advice, he proceeded at once to the officer in command, leavms me extremely amused at the f uss he was making about his bag, con side! ing all that it was worth. Soon afterward he returned with a smiling face, and informed me that the Captain had acceeded to his request. I expressed my gratification at this in telligence, and added: "Surely, sir, you have been shaving since I last saw you?" "Yes, I was threatened with the re currence of a nasty skin complaint to which I was formerly subject." During the interval that elapsed until my period of duty was ended the gen tleman paced about in a most Impatient manner, ever and anon seeming to re lieve his feeling by stopping to pat my li ;rse. At length I left my post, and, dismounting, Jed my charger to the stable and handed him over to a com rade; then, divesting myself of my cui rusJ, was ready to proceed to Scotland Yard. One of the corporals on guard received orders to accompany me; so, together with the gentleman, we started, and crossing the street reached ihe police headquarters in a minute or two, and on making Inquiries were directed to the "Iost Froperty" depart ment. We stated our business; and an official, after receiving an assurance from roe that tbe applicant was the right person, speedily produced the valise. "Why didn't you see about this before?" he asked, addressing the ffentlemnBu . , "Because I was too ill to see about anything," was the reply. The gentleman then signed a book, certifying that his property had been restored to him. giving as he did so the name of JJobbs. Having tanked the official, Mr. Xobbs caught up his property, and we lert the ottice, When we got to the door we found assembled a small crowd of men employed about be establish ment; for U.e unusual speckle of two helmtted, jack-booted B""8"1 caused a good deal of speculation as to busbies, there. Mr. SolW bur liedly brushed past them, and Baling the street hahed a passing cab, andthe driver at once pulled P- ,Here'8 something for your trouble." he said, slipping a sovereign into my nana. of course, thankea him neartlly test thismunlticentdouceur. Dechningthe offer of the driver to place his bag on the dicky, be put it inside the vehicle; then shaking hands with the corporal and myseir. he said to the driver, "Euatoa, as fast as you can," and en tered the cab. The driver released the brake from the wheel, and wa3 whipping up his scraggy horse witu a view of starting, when the poor animal slipped and fell. The man belonging to the Scotland Yard who had followed us into the street at once rushed to the driver's assistance, unbuckled the traces, and after pushing back the cab, got the horse on its feet. All the while Mr. Nobbs was watching the operations frcm the window; and I noticed that one of the men was surveying him very attentively. "Your name is Judd, Isn't it?" the man at length remarked. "a o; it isn't. YV hat do you mean by addressing me, sir?" Indiguaatlv re plied Mr. .Nobbs. "Well," said the man whom I at once surmised was a member of the de tective force 'that's the name you gave, anyhow, when you were had up on the charge or feeling the pockets of me gent's clothes who was drowned in the Serpentine a week ago. I know you, aituough you've had a clean shave." I started on hearing this statement; my suspicions, ridiculous as they seem ed at the time, had turned out to be correct after all; while Mr. Judd, alias AoDta, turned as pale as death. "Come out of that cab," oaid the de tective. "You've no rlirht to detain me." said Nobbs. "I was discharged this morn tug." "Because nothing was known against you. Bur. look here, old man, what have you got in that bag?" 'Only some old clothes, I assure you," said the crest-fallen Xobbs. "Come inside, and we'll see," said the detective, seizin? the bag. "Out of the cab quick! and come with ma to the office." Mr. Xobbs complied with a very bad grace; while the corporal and I fol lowed, wondering what was to happen next. We entered a room In the interior, and the bag was opened, but it appar ently contained nothing but the clothes. "There is certainly no grounds for detaining this man," slid an Inspector, standing near. Mr. Xobbs at once brightened up and cried: "You see I have told you the truth, and now be good enoujU to let me go." "All right," said the detective. "Pack up your traps and clear out!" Mr. Xobbs this time complied with exceeding alacrity, and began to re place the articles of clothing, when the detective, seemingly acting on a sud den impulse, caught ud tbe valise and gave it a vigorous shake. A slight rustling sound was distinctly audible. "Hillol what's this?" cried the of- bag, he produced a pocket-knife, and in a trice ripped open a false bottom. and found about two dozen valuable diamond rings and a magnificent em erald necklace carefully packed lu wad ding, besides a number of unset strnes. The jubilant detective at once com pared them, with a list which he took from a Hie, and pronounced them to be the entire proceeds of a daring robbery that had recently been committed iu the shop of a West End jeweler, auJ which amounted in value to lifteeu hundred pounds! Mr. Xobb3. alias Judd, now looking terribly confused and abashed at t'aU premature frustration of his plan to clear out of the country with his booty, was formally charged with being la possession of the stolen valuables. lie made no reply, and wa3 led away in custody. Before returning to the guard, i re marked to the Inspector, "I thought, sir, when be gave me a sovereign for looking after his bag that It was more thau it was worth; but now I find that I have been mistaken." "A sovereign!" cried the inspector. "Let me see it" I took the coin from my cartouche box, where had I placed It in the ab sence of an accessible pocket, and handed it to him, lie arjillingly examined it, and threw it on the table. "I thought as much," he remarked; "it's a bad one." Mr. Xobbs, alias Judd these names were two of a formidable string ot aliases turned out to ba an expert coiner, burglar and swindler, who had long been "wanted" by the police. He was convicted, and sentenced to a lengthened period of penal servitude." A few weeks after Mr. Xobbs had received his well-earned punishment, I received a visit from a gentleman, who stated that he was cashier la the jewel er's establishment In which the robbery had been committed. He informed me that his employer, having taken into consideration the fact that I was to a certain extent Instrumental in the re covery of tbe stolen jewelry, had sent me a present of thirty pounds. I gratefully accepted the money, which, as I had seen enough of soldiering, I invested In the purchase of my dis charge from tbe Household Cavalry. Such is my atory of the Mysterious Valise. The American Wife, There is no married woman so com pletely one with her husband, as a well married American woman. The Eng lish husband is masterful, and hii wife is regarded as his inferior in every way. He must be appealed to on every question, from dress to servants. A Frenchman expects his wife to live on nothing comparatively, and her dress money must be savad out of the house hold expenses, or earned In some way. The American husband makes his wife his equal. Her interests are his; his Interests are hers. She knows bis (busi ness and whether they can have 51,200 or 83.00 a year to spend. She keeps track of the market, the crops, tbe strikes, and clear conception of every general and personel matter that comes under her luspection. An EnglUh woman knows nothing of her hustund'a business matters; nor any more than does his business clerk know what eoes oa in his master's house.The wire never know if her husband is making a fortune or is on thi brink of bankruptcy. She Is eiven so much for household ex penses and she feels no surprise If at the end of the year they move into larger and more commodious quarters. If :lie is told to pack up and leave sue asks no questions but moves with the furniture. - spark from a passing horso'a shoe caused an explosion of sewer gas in a mahhole in New York. Otl) MRS. BUSYBODY. CiinrBL-tcruitics of a Female Meddler v no is to be t-ound Everywhere. It is a strange idea some people have mat mey are sure they can manage another person's affairs much better than that person's self. They are, as a rule, those who are Incompetent to conduct their own affairs, allowing mem to get along as best they can at haphazard. Xevertheless. they like to remark what they would do in regard to your business. "If I were in your piace," mey are rond ot savin. would do so and so," where it is pretty certain were they in your place the af- iairs would 03 left to settle themselves. while they were busy about somebody ei30's business. They are sure to find out all that is happening among their neignoors, no matter how private it is supposed to be, and are fond of pitying them. Such expressions as. "I nitv Mrs. , sue has such a hard time to get along." or her hasband or children have done something that they ought not to have done, and, of course, a per son that knows everybody's business has heard of it, although it may not be known to any one else outside the fam ily circle. ' " . - Few people care to have their family affairs discussed In public, and fewer still care for the pity of such a person as the above. Tity is all very well in some Instances, but in this case, "I pity you," is generally equivalent for "1 exiected as much." A person of this stamp would be astonished if ac cused of making other people uncom fortable, for she really intends every thing for the best, and has an idea she is doing you a favor by advising you how she would act If in your place. It does not make the lightest difference to her that you have not asked her ad vice; she feels in her own mind that you axe in need of such, and she is just the one to givo it to you, for she Is pos itive she understands all the workings of your household, and is the only one competent to advise you. A person ot this kind is found in nearly all neigh borhoods, aud ii always a terror to most housekeepers, but more particu larly Is this true with a timid woman, who does not like to resent such inter ference for fear of offending, but listens to it alt, and then wonders if she couldnt manage better If she tried hard, though it does seem as if to try any harder than she has done Is out of all reason. If members of a family were careful not to bring auy little differences away from home, in the way of complaints about some one with whom they have had a misunderstanding, but have all such things quietly settled in the home, there would be so little that Mrs Busybody could do or say, that she would leave family affairs alone, and contentedly turn to the caring for own business. If tilings don't go just right in the home, have patience and in a short while they will adjust themselves. outsider ror advice of consolation, even If she is your' test friend. Outsiders never do any good In cases of this kind, though they may have the best inten tions to do so. They only widen the breach; and where at fir it, it allowed to be settled in the home, away frjm outside interference, it could have been easily done, wheu once abroad it be comes almost impossible to adjust it. There Is no place In which family dlf erences can be as easily settled as the uome, in fact, in most cases there is no place but the home that can properly adjust them, for only there are all thou peculiarities and eccentricities of disposition of its inmates thoroughly known. If care is taken to guard tbe privacy of the home life, the Mrs. Busy-bodies will saon drop out of exist ence. Gypsy Humor. The Tz'gane3 are rarely wanting In a certaiu humor and power ot repartee, which often disarms the anger they have justly provoked. A gypsy being in prison for having sworn falsely, was visited by thi priest, who tried to con vince him of the sinfulness of his con duct in swearing to what be had seen. "You are loading a heavy sin on your sjul," said the pnest. "Have I got a soul?" asked tbe Tzigane, innocently. "Of course you have a soul; every man has one. "Can your reverence swear that I "lave got a soul?" "To be sure lew." "Yet your reverence can not see my soul; so why should it be wrong to swear to what I have not seen?" In a traveling niena ;crie, the keeper, showing off his animals to a large as sembled audience, point! to the cage where a furious lion was pawing the ground.and pompousely announced that he was ready to give a thousand florins to whoever wonld enter that cage. "I will," said a starved looking looking gypsy, stepping forward. "1'ou will?" said the keeper, looking contemptuously at tbe Brnall figure. "Very well, please yourself and walk in," and he made a feint of opening the door. "Step m. Why are you not coming?" "Certainly," said the gypsy. "I have no sort ot objection to earning a thousand florins so easily; and I only wait till you remove that very un pleasant looking animal, which occu pies th9 cage at present. Of course the laugh was turned against the showman, who in his pro position had only spoken of the cage, without mentioning tbe lion. A starving and shivering gypsy once craving hospitality, was asked to choose what he preferred, food or warmth. Would he have something to eat, or would he rather warm himself at the hearth? "If you please," be answered, "I would like best to toast myself a piece of bacon at the fire." A man abusing a gypsy who had stolen his horse, declared that he could produce half a dozen witnesses to at test the fact. "What are half a dozen witnesses?" said the Tzigane; "I can produce a dozen who have not seen it!" Some gypsy proverbs run as follows: "After misfortune comes fortune." "Better a donkey which lets you ride, than a fine horse which throws you off," "Those are the fattest fishes which fall back from the line into the water." "It is not good to choose women or cloth by candle-light" "What is the use of a kiss, unless there be two divide it?' "Who has got luck, need only sit at home with his mouth open.' "Who wants to steal potatoes must not forget the sack." "Two hard atones do not grind jmalL" '."Polite words cost little and do nuch." ' "Who flatters you has either cheated 7u or wants to cheat" Who waits till another calls him to srpper, often remains hungry." "If you have lost your horse, then pu can throw away saddle and bridle a well" . Curiosities of Eatinsr, i The following will be read with in ferest by those who are obliged to study close economy: An old beau, formerly well kuown In Washington, was accustomed to eat but one meal In twenty-four hours; if, after this he had to go to a party and eat . second dinner, iie at uutbtnic all tie next day. He died at the age of seventy. A lady of culture, refinement aud un usual powers, became a widow, iodaced from affluence to poverty, with a large family of small children depen dent upon her manual labor for daily read, she made a variety ot experi ments to ascertain what articles could je purchased for the least money and it the same time "go the farthest," by keeping her children tbe longest from crying for bread. She soon discovered that when theyear. buckwheat cakes and molasses they were quiet for a Ion' ser time than after eating any other kind ot food. A distinguished judge of the United States Court says when he took buck wheat cakes for breakfast be could sit ou tbe bench all day without being uncomfortably hungry. It the cakes warn omitted, he felt obliged to take a lunch about noon. Buckwheat cakes are a universal favorite at tbe winter breakfast table, and scientific investi gation aud analysis has shown that they abound in the heat-forming principle; hence nature takes away our appetite for them In summer. During the Irish famine, when many dibd of hunger, the poor were found spending their last shilling for tea, tobacco and spirits. It has also been observed In Xew York, by those con- aected with charitable institutions, that when money was paid to the poor, they often laid out every cent iu tea or cot fee. Instead ot procuring the more sub stantial food, such as meal, flour or potatoes. On being reprove 1 for tbelr apparent extravagance and improvi dence, the cry was universally in both cases identical; their Own, observation naa snowa mem mat a penny's worm of tea, tobacco or liquor, would keep off hunger longer than a penny's worth of anything else, SjIenMflj men ex press the idea by saying: "Tea, like alcohol, retards the metamorphosis of the tissues; in other words, it gives fuel to tbe flame of life, aud thus pre vents it from consuming the fat and flesh of the body." If a person gets into the habit ot taking a lunch bet wee breakfast and dinner, he will soon And himself get- LJW tnin itmimk - - - i -fc it let ihimbe so pressed with important engagements for several days in suc ceaaon as to take nothing between meals, it will not be long before he can dispense with his lunch altogether. 1 hese things seem to show that, to a certain extent, eating is a mere habit. Whole tribes of Inditn hunters and trappers have been known to eat but once in twenty-four hours, and that at night The Favorite Food at lluUa-l'oslh. The goose, as I have several times had occasion to remark, is a bird that, alter it Is dead, constantly thrusts it self on the stranger's attention in Aus tria. Its apparition is frequent on the tables and hotels at Vienna, and it re appears more frequently as you descend the Danube, it is the most chosen viand at Buda-l'estb. Here it achieves its apotheosis. But it is not so much to the bird itself as to that important organ. Its liver, that I desire to direct attention. The local commerce in this dallcacy is considerable. On certain streets tbe attention of the pedestrian is attracted by the counterfeit presenti ment of a goose dead and cooked, be s da which is a painted object so nearly like that he is aware it Is the liver ot the deceased bird. Tbe sign indicates a shop whose sole business is to sell roasted goods cut in pieces, goose liv ers, and a sort of biscuit made of chopped goose and flour. Here is a temptation to those who are fond of paf d fole gras. On entering the stealer is discovered standing behind a huge tray filled with livers arranged in rows, arrcei with a fork resembling Xeptune's trident. He passes the tri dent mystically over the livers and names ine prices w areuizers, kreutzers, 30, 40, 50 kreutzers, the lat ter being from giant birds and weigh ing nearly a pound. You take one of the smallest as a starter, and a biscuit, and adjourn to a neighboring wine shop, properly adjust your digestive apparatus to the unctuous viand with a "fourth" of white Hungarian wine. Xo bad result follows, as with tbe arti ficially fattened livers that cost their weight in gold In America. Your di gestion continues excellent. What is tbe effect? Tbe next day you come back and buy a liver twice the size, take two rations of biscuit, and wash the repast down with a ''half" ot the same wine, and so on- As this ratio of increase can not go on forever, you find yourself obliged to leave town a day or two sooner than you, intended, to sub due a growing appetite, taking with you m your valise a few pounds of goose livers to satisfy the pangs of hunger and solace the regret of parting, for you know when you have left the Danube you can- see this luxury no more. An Auctioneer's Bright Repartee, It was at an art auction sale in this city the other evening. A well-known "sassiety" man, somewhat under the Influence of the rosy, stumbled in. He edged his way forward, and by dint or hard pushing managed to elbow bis way to the very front There he stood critically examining the picture then up for sale, and turning around impu dently looked the auctioneer straight in the eye, and reaching up, lit his cigar stump at the reflector in direct viola tion of the sign "no smoking, after which he negligently threw bis rumpled form in the nearest chair, and haughtily commanded the auctioneer to "put up something be liked." Cant do it my dear sir." politely answered that gentleman, "we don't keep it, but you'll Cud It on tap next door," and the laugh that went up was broad and mighty, but our intoxicated friend did not Join in and was silent as a clam the balance of the evening. - XHK WIFE'S STUATFXiY. And the Unsuspecting; Taken In, Husband i The most brilliant stratagems of wai often appear insignificant when com pared with the devises practiced by women particularly married women to accomplish their alms. A gentle man residing on Superior street has a wife who goes Into hysterics every time the fashion-plate changes, while he, on the contrary, has an intense antip athy for "frills and flounces and flumadiddles of that sort" A few evenings ago he came home from lodge meeting aud began making preparations to retire. Ho had just chased the cat out Into the shed, fastened tbe pantry window, and started to climb onto his downy straw tick, when he heard a lav laimo com ing from the . partner of his joys and sorrows and stray nickels. Turning up the light, he saw that she wa apparently sleeping, but a couple of bright tears glistened on her eyelid?, her bosom heaved with emotion, and as her lips moved he caught the words: "Xo, he shall never know how much I want that blue-i-trlped silk dress at only J2.2o a yard. I will wear my young life out with household drudgery and have my old dresses made over. I love him too much to bother him with such matters, but I did want that blue so bad!" and just then one of the tears trickle! down her cheek. Her husband was overcome with re morse, and going into the other room, he called himself a hard-hearted brutu, and kicked himself all over tbe house mentally. He said nothing, but tbe Tery next day he went out and pur chased the identical blue-striped auk dress. His wife said she was delighted, and called him an old dear, aud won dered how he could have found the identical piece of silk she wanted; but he only smiled as that feeling of heav enly calm and silent joy stole over him which comes to a man when he has performed a truly noble and self-sacrificing deed. A short time afterward, however, be overheard his wife rej marking to the next door neighbor: "Yes, the plan worked jost splendid! I had a great lime trying to squeeze out those two tears, though. 1 was afraid he'd find the onion I had under the pillow." Since then the husband has beeu walking aronnd town with the dazed expression of a man who has beeu hit on the head with a pile-driver. How to Fop the tjnestton. I have In my possession a postal card on which is the inquiry, "Which Is the best way to pop the question?" have had talks with several hundred men In my time on this very point. These talks partook very largely oa the character of experiences, and I may say that I have yet to hear of a single barmy connubial union fiat srvrunir put 1 5t a pmwy commerce vf nave l Known or injuai kouu come of a marriage- springing from proposal that had been carefully pro- arranged. Tbe happiest I have kuown were those which grew out of a mo ment that seemed created on the spot for the very occasion. A man may have loved a woman ten years with out having such a moment as tliU burst upon him though I wouldn't give much fora love that couldn't come to a head sooner. But it it is love, me moment will come. It may be in the subdued light: or on the steps of the Dortico: or at the gate: or in the soil tilde of the forest, or somewhere by the sea. The place Is of no conse quence, but it ought to be secluded to some extent where the words are in unison: where, when you say some thing, no matter what it Is about, it will touch the invisible wire and send a current of life Into her soul. If she does not respond by word or look you can depend upon it young man. that you are on a cold trail. But If she does, then put on some more fuel. As it warms, fan It, and as the fl imes brighten her cheek, and her eyes sparkle as if they were breaking Into fragments and her words wreatue about your own so that your hand is as gentle in its stroke as the step of a fairy so that she has to look at you from under her silken lashes then! If you are not moved by this time to forget where you are and who you are aud if you do not say it then you deserve to be a toothless bachelor, aud you run the risk or malting one woman miserable all me aayaor ner life. But there is no fixed rule for it. Aud when it is over, long years after, maybe, when you are sitting by your fireside and the winds of a cruel winter are sounding death taps on your win dow, If you cannot go back to tbe place and the time over and over again, and feel something like incense stealing its way into your soul, God pity you in your winter of loneliness, for you didn't pop the question ti the right woman. Whistling ami Whistlers. Tf a boy is allowed to whistle It will turn bis attention in a great degree from tbe desire to become the posseasoi of a drum, and If paternal firmness be added, be can be kept satisfied without one until be gets to be sixteen years of age, when he will strike the cornet period. Shakespeare was well acquainted with the art He makes Othello s iy concerning Desdemona: "If I do not prove her false, I'll whistle her off and let her down the wind a prey to for tune, e'en though her very cries weie my dead heart strings." Xegroes are the best whistlers in the world. Frequently one hears a colored improvisator whistling the quaintest and sweetest melodies, and with the colored males in general whistling comes as natural as grunting does to a hog. Men whistle when they are happy, and they whistle when they are sad. When yon see a carpenter or a house painter pushing a plame or slapping on the paint and whistling a lively a r at the same time, set him down as a man who pays bis debt, is cheerful at home and never whips his children. When a man Is sad be whistles in a doleful tone. Xine times out of ten he won't; choose a dismal air. but he will whistle a lively tone. hornpipe or a negro minstrel end song. And be will draw tbe melody in and out be tween his lips in a way to draw tears from all listeners. Sometimes a man accomplishes the same result when he is cheerful and trying to whistle real good. Girls In general whistle in a sort of Jerky, disconnected, Jim jam sort of way, and groan mildly between the notes. They'd better let Whistling aloM. WHITE SLAVIHtT IX PERU. Adventures of a 3Ian Who Sought a Fortune In South America. Joseph Rumback Is a German about thirty years of age. He is a gardener by trade, and has worked for some ot tbe best people in San Francisco. About ten months ago he sailed for Callao, in Peru, thinking to better his fortune. Like many others he had an idea that silver and gold were plenti ful in South America, and that any in telligent foreigner could make money faster there than in this country. A few days In Callao and Lima, however, soon disabused his mind of this idea, and he was glad to accept a place as gardener on the hacienda, of a Mr. Or beguaa, seven day ride on inula back into tbe interior of the country over the Cordillera mountains. According to bis letter of instructions, which he has with him, he was to receive twenty dollars a month in silver, a house in the yard of the hacienda bouse, bed and bedding, and his meals. Ilia duties were to be to look after and improve the flow -t and vegetable gardens at tached to the bouse. When he arrived at the hacienda he found that It was a barren coffee plan tation, and that he was expected to work with the Indian laborers in the coffee helds. His bouse consisted of an adobe hut ot but one room with no windows and nothing but a cot, mat tress and a pair ot blankets in the way of furniture. He stuck to his work for about four weeks, hoping his position, might be improved, but finding no like lihood ot a change he resolved to throw up the situation and try to better him self. He went to the administrator or manager and told him that he wished to leave. To his surprise, he found that he wonld not be allowed to do so, but that he must remain and work whether he liked It or not This was on Wednesday. Oa the following Mon day he packed his clothing in a bag, strung it across his shoulders, and started to retrace on foot the weary journey across mountains to the coast On the evening of the second day, while sitting in the house of an Indian in a village, there came a knock at the door. It was thrown open and in rushed the administrator of the hacienda with seven men, all armed with rifles, at his back. Rumbach was seized and taken to the jail, where he spent the next twenty-four hours. The Jail was a close, hot place, without windows or any other means ot ventilation. On the following day he was taken back to the hacienda and forced to go to work again. He was told that he could not get away, and was urged to marry an Indian girl and settle down contentedly to work. About three weeks after his return he again told the administrator that he wished to leave, and was again re fused. That night a Spaniard, who was also a laborer on tbe plantation. eawus un. uui warned. Llia that II he did no? comply with the wishes of the administrator he would be put in chains and worked liked the Indians. Kuraback states that the administrator and his chief assistants were absolute masters of all me men on the plants tion. They tried them for any iufrac tion of the rules, and sentenced them to the chain gang under a boss who drove them at their work with a whip. which he did not scruple to nse on tbe slightest provocation. For more ser lots offenses both imprisonment and whit ping were the pumshmeuts, Xot relishing tbe outlook, Iiumbach resolved to make another attempt to escape from slavery. At two o'clock the next morning he climbed over the Will of the patio, aud again started on a tramp to the coast For six days and nights he tramped over the mountains, carefully avoiding the only beaten road, for be was warned by some friendly Indians tbe first day of his journey that be was being pursued. He lived on such fruits and berries as be could pick, and upon occasional gifts of tbe Indians, who guided and assisted him in bis flight Oa the seventh day he reached the coast and made hbj way to Callao, and thence to Lima. Useful Odds and Ends. Soft, nice kitchen towels may be made by folding fifty pound cloth flour sacks in the middle, turning in the edges and stitcbin? all around. Then stfw loops on each end. This is a good v,y to use up some of the sacks that wm accumulate. I also used them for linings where thin linings are wanted. Children's stocking knees can be mended nicely by picking up a row of stitches below the hole and knitting a strip wide enough and long enough to cover the hole good. Then whip down the eJges to the stocking with yarn the R&nie color as you knit the strip with. If you have yarn like the stocking it can hardly be seen. Xew knees and toes can also be kn.t by cutting off the old ones and picking up the stitches. Knit the heel and sew in. . To mako sheets last longer, when they eet thin hi the middle, tear down the centre, sew the outer edges to gether and hem the edges. In making jelly. It you have more than you have glasses, you can make glasses by taking large, smooth bottles and wetting a cord in turpentine, and tying around the bottle below the neck, then set the string on fire, and It will break off smoothly all around. To take stains from white goodsiRub the juice from ripe tomatoes with salt on tbe stains and expose to the sun. Frosting without eggs: Mix one cup of sugar with one fourth of a cup of sweet milk, put over a slow fire and stir until it boils; then boil five minutes without stirring; set the sauce-pan In cold water while you stir it to a cream. Spread on the cake while it will run. it will keep longer than when made of eggs, and will nut crumble when you cut it Try putting a teaspsonful of soda in water and dissolving it, put it into your churn after your butter begins to come, and see how quick your butter will gather. . Signor Caminl, a Venetian, is credited with tbe ability to speak and write fluently no less than OG lanuaes and dialects. For a lover whose fiancee has a glass eye "With all thy faults eye love thee still." For a boy who wishes to hire out to a dime museum "Two heads are bet er than one. Every potter praises Lis own pot. and auost of all tbe one that is cracked. There never was a shoe however handsome that did nwt become an ugly slipper. NEWS IX BRIEF- Boston has a kindergarten forth blind. Collecting do;r photographs Is the latest craze. Buffalo Bill earned his title by killing 4.2S0 buffaloes. Bears are said to be plentiful In the swamps of Georgia. Huron, Dakota, has organized a Homely Man's Club." . Xebraska bigh license towns com plain of "boles-in-the-walls," A Connecticut girl has gone insane from being kissed in the dark. A Maine lady ba-i refused 12.000 !or her tresses, 8 foot 1 inch long. A perfect!' rptrified rosebud ba leea found at Valley Head, Alabama. It is said there are more paparr levoted to cycling than to any otb.es iport. A rink in Harlem, Xew York, was robbed of 1,000 pair of roller skates re- :ently. A Litchfield, Connecticut, dame of 70 has got a divorce; he left her 51 years ago. A fifth wheel, for use on light ve hicles, has been Invented by a Keokuk (Iowa) man. Rock ltapids, Iowa, is being done by a missionary of the "converted jam bier" kind. A single oyster opened the other lay by a Fair Haven (Coun.) man con tained 1G3 (earls. Among the little wants that Brook ings, Dakota, wants strong is a lim burger cheese factory. - Atlantic County, Xew Jersey is re- uorted entirely out of debt and has i'J.000 in the Treasury. Madrid society has been warmly i3Cussiu the question "Can a bull tighter be a gentleman?" A vineyardist in Xapa Vallev. California, has committed suicide by lumping into a cask of wine. Pomatum was introduced in loOO. It was compounded of the pulp of apples, lard and rose water. Japan is manufacturing jackets of paper, linen thread being introduced to give them necessary strength. Twenty-oue barrels of nour are used daily in making bread for the 1000 convicts ba Sing Sing prison. A Georgia rooster recently killed himself by eating 110 grains of corn, oj peanuts ana a large quantity of dough. Carpets should never be shaken, as their weight inclines them to part; but should be laid on a rope aud then beaten at the back. Fifty thousand tons of soot are stated to have been taken from Lon don chimneys List year. Its value is set at f 204,000 as a fertilizer. A Xew York Central sleeping car porter says he has been ou the road for Iftilsen yenra and ealy-two kifMeS-STet- Offered to pay rum Tor his trouble. The great legal phenomenon at Jackson, Michigan, is a lawyer who eloquently defended in court, the other day, a man who had stolen from him an overcoat. The absorbing question at Ashton, Iowa, where the Town Council has re fuse! to act on the question, is whether or not base ball playing on Sunday shall be allowed. Sparrows have taken possession of the tall pillars that support the elevated railways in Xew York, and there. amidst tbe din of travel, thousands of little sparrows are yearly hst-ned out. Ia a CgUt between two drunken men at Wnbasha, Minnesota, one of them bad his left leg broken, and his bead nearly broken. The ether was arrested and lined il". which he Daid. and departed. A lad in South Boston havlntr handed his teacher a note reading "Licking don't do this boy no good; talk to him," provoked an inauirv that led to tbe discovery that he had him self written the note. Tbe harvest moon is the moon near tbe full at harvest time in Eng land, or about tbe autumnal equluox when the moon rises nearly at tbe same hour for several days. Tbe autumnal equinox occurs about the 'J3-1 of Sep tember. The sutler at Fort Adams. Rhode L1 ind, has received orders from the commandant not to furnish troops with winsny or omer strong liquor. The order is due to a disturbance raised by a soldier to whom liquor wutf sold while .under arrest San Francisco papers complain of the extent iu which the use of profane and vulgaf language is permitted on the eets of that city, and charge that tbe police, instead of being cham pions of decency and good manners, often offend In the same way. A young man In Winston county, Mississippi, concluded he would marry in a bia.i-uew suit without paying for it He went to a merchant, obtained the clothes on credit, stood up in It and returned it the next day, claiming that it did not fit him. A girl in Shelby, Kentucky, wa3 provoked by the bad play of her part ner Jit croquet She struck him ou the head with a mallet and caused a brain fever, or which he nearly died. She was kept in custody until he recovered, and then she married him. A curious cause of death is re ported from Burlington, Xew Jersey, Tbe deceased was a cook on a dredging machine. In opening a can of toma toes his hands were cut by the tin. Blood poisoning and death followed. A most astonishing phenomenon of the Javanese earthquake was tbe split ting of the Papaodayang Mountain. Iu a flash of time It was split into seven parts. Where the lone moun tain had stood loomed up seven peaks each some 7,000 feet high. On the Devonshire coast In Eng land a sea grass is boiled, chopped, mixed with a small proportion of oat meal, and made into ' bread, which keeps from four to eight days, and is much used by the poor Welsh people, most of it being sent to Swansea, An English ethnologist has made an Interesting discovery. Sir Samuel Baker notes as a curious fact that th negroes never tamo elephants or wild animals. The elephants used by tot Carthaginians were trained by the Arabs and Carthaginians, but nevei by negroes. A dozen years after Henry Hudson had satisfied his Dutch employers that the river which bears his name was not a strait or arm of the sea, the impres sion prevailed m England among edu cated people that it really was so, and that in consequence Xew England fit an island. 4 I r.H : r:. : !' M'e. St'-'- (1.5. .H';; $ if?-' V,I i. f'tf m m li Sin t; 1 - '.V " r -
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers