mW fit 1 schweier. THE 00B8T1TUTI0I THE TT5I0I AID TEE UTOSOEIIEIT OF TEE LAVS. B.F. Editor and Proprietor. VOL. XXXV MIFFLINTOWN, JUNIATA COUNTY, PENNA., WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 23, 1881. NO. S. UTE FOR SOIOTHO. ijbor m tt sweetest J 'J- foldei ban-fa rwery' gellUh heart. areo. r ..forth bam ! aU- .cut. te.UKD, while you?- fattcr blessing in the pathway ! Bett.raretba.tolior.ilrer A- the p ets"' Mnn" 'alIeth- Ever oo tbe grtfnJ earth. BJetJftnT U"1 kuiiue Oilen wh toe duieutd hearth. Heart there re oppressed and weary ; Drop the tsars of sympathy. Whieperw.r J of hope and oomfort, Gire, and thy reward shall be Jot unto the eoul returning. From ttu. perfect fountain heal ; FroelT, aa tWa freely siveet. ShU the grateful lijjht be shed. Two EIoDemenls. In a large, Bq'jare,old-fasluoned house I uco as our lathers useu i " " - idity was twre sougni auer umn uiuij ivedlhiiip Jiasoo auu I'Uilip tad readied the mature age of W, -.i t jiu-r was close to biui. Still, each vd i,ursued a solitary pathway through lie. seeking no companionship save thai of other Uli 'here was reason to believe ;Ut tney wjuld continue to follow the same j course till in the iuiness 01 nuie mey were iatbered into the family tonitj the recep tacle of many gencrauns of the Maaon :awi!y. There was nPTe reason to think u, si ore they took care to commend an unmarried life, not only by example but by ;,recept. "said Philip, when assailed on this -ulijid by a maich-uiakiug lady; "marry iug njy he very good for some people, but 1 couid not Dear to have my habits brokeu in upon, and my whole h iuse turned top y-turvy by the introduction 01 a wire:" 'liui by'-aud-by, when yon grow older, vou will feel the need of a wile, more than jX present." .No, said l ump, conclusively, "lnavc i sister who i devoted to me, and while sue lives 1 suall need no other." As forlliss Esther, she often declared hat she would never make a slave of her self tor any man living. If other women were touiisu enough to give up their inde ; cadence, and lie themselves lo a man, for no uiher earihly purpose than to buiden uieniseives witu cares and tolls from morn iiur till night, she w as sure she had do ob jection, r'or her own part she was wiser. Uer brother and she had aiwavs lived u alher peaceably and happily, and She did uot think she cuuid make auy change for Uie heller. Uf course, it was insinuated by those wk se opinion differed widely from Miss tsther's that in adopting this opinion she was only making a virtue of ueceasuy, aud thai it was best to he contented with one's lot, provided L'iere were no chance of iin- proViUa' 1L iSdl iSUler C1Q in neariacoert reuuuks,and so was not disturbed by them, she continued to live in the old house with her Uruliier. They kept no domestic, since Esther rather plumed herself on her house keeping qualities, and there was real! but httie lu Uo. to, as her brother was usually absent daring the day, she was left for tne most part to the companionship of her own ihouuiils, unless some neighbor chanced to call ui a thing, by the way, of rattier rare occurrence, since most ot Uie neighbors hal large launiies ot their own, wUicn necessa rily touhued them at home. Eariy one aiierniou just after Esther Mason had completed her task of clearing aw ay the dinner dishes, and storing Uieui away in the cupboard after a thorough wasiiing, she was startled by a rap at Um door. Somewhat surprised by a caller at this unusual hour, she answered the summons. She was a IiUie apprehensive that it was a neighbor wno had of late proved very Uoub.esome lroai her habit of borrowing articles, and owing, it is to bepiesunied,lo ahaoi.ual lurgeltuinesa, neglecung to re t irn theiu. "1 hope," she mused, "that if it is Mrs. Bailey,sue will be wanting lo borrow some thing that 1 have not frhe opened the door; but no Mrs. Bailey presented herself to her expecting gaze a geuilcLjan ot forty-eve, carefully, nay ele gantly dressed, stood before her. "I beg your pardon for intruding, ma dame," said he, as he noticed Esther a look ot surprise; '"but can you direct me to the house ot the late Mr. el.tleetr 1 have heard it was for sale, and from the description 1 have heard ot it, judge it will suit me." "It is the next nouse on the left, sir," answered Esther, who had had time, while Ute gentleman was speaking, to examine his appearance, which did knot fail to impress her favorably. "Thank you for the information. I trust you wdi paidon me tor the trouble 1 have occasioned you," replied the gentleman, bowing. oi the least trouble in the world," re plied Esther, a littie fluttered by a defer ence to which she had not been accustom ed. Two days afterward Esther heard that Mr. W euneet's estate had been purchased by a stranger named Bigelow. Sue at once conjectured, and rightly, that this was her visitor. A few day s elapsed, and Esther Mason received anolner visit from the gen tleman. "1 have a favor to ask of you, Miss Ma son,'" he bean (it seems he had ascertained ner name). "1 am aware that our slight acquaintance will hardly justify it, but 1 trust time w ill remove this objection. You must know," he added, smiling that I am abachelor.dependentmmany respects upon my houjekeeper, who Ihomih a good wom au in her way, 1 am afraid is not reliable in matters of taste. As my furniture has ar rived, but has not yet been arranged, 1 wouid esteem it a real service if you would give me your opinion in some little matters respecting its proper disposition. Mv car ge is at the door ready to carry you over.'' "Hut," said Esther, a little besitatingJy, 1 do not rlumi t. i, t ...... " v UB.V UIUU1 MMC & . 1 tliali Pfove no more reUable in that re spect tuau yum housekeeper." ' I have but lo look around me," said Jlr- Billow, poliielv, "to be full satis neU,uponthal poinL" Esther's cheek flushed with pleasure at tnis compiuueatj and she made preparations I her new visitor a request. It was not without a little consciousness lUiesiruUmy other position that Es ther found herself riding oy the side of nu.uuui wiin whom sue had scarce! v ex her hie. The distance, however, was out short, and she had utile time for refiec "oa. On aniving at her place of destina un fouud the chief part of the busi "essaccomphshed. The furniture, which, by th way, was new and hanasome, had been arranged in ue room after a fashion, but Esther was able to point out several changes for the better, with all of which Mr. Bigelow pro fessed himself delighted; he, moreover, asked her advice as to the proper place in which to hang several fine pictures thai be had picked up in the course of his European travels. This was accorded with some hesitation. Mr. Bigelow would not be satisfied with out showing his new found acquaintance all over the house, from kitchen to garret. When all was completed he overpowered her with protestations of gratitude for her kind service, and landed her at her own door just live minutes betre her brother came in. Esther was rather glad of this, as she was a .itile suspicious that her broth er would consider her adventure rather a (juixolic one. To avoid comment, she did not even in form Philip that she had ever met Mr. Big elow. Tie took frequent opportunities to call upon her, on some slight pretest or another, but it always chanced to be when her brother was absent. "1 wonder," said Philip, carelessly, as he sat by the fire .one evening, "whether Mr. Bigelow will not be looking out for a wife before long?" "I don't knew," said Esther, and in her embarrassment dropping half a dozen stitches from the stocking she held in her hand. "JS'ot that I approve of marriage at least in my .own case," said Philip, not noticing this demonstration, "but it may be diflereut with Mr. Bigelow. lie has no sis ter to superintend hi establishment. I don't know, however, whether there is any body likely to suit him in this village. Eet me see there is Miss Preston; she might do." "Xo, I don't think she would suit him at all,1' said Esther with a spirit which con siderably surprised her brother. 8he knows very hule about housekeeping." 'Why, 1 thought you and Miss Preston were friends," smd Philip, a Utile puzzled. "Well, so we are," returned Esther in her usual tone; but I I hardly think she would suit Mr. Bigelow." "Perhaps not," lie rejoined, and so the conversation ended. Prom the conversation which we have recorded above the reader will obtain sjine insight into the character ot Esther's feel ings toward Mr. Bigelow. She would nardly confess it to herself; but, as a mat ter of fact, her ideas Kot marriage had suf fered a material change within a brief penou. Meaawhile the gentleman continued his visits. Oftentimes he would ask lo see the bed of flowers, on which Esther rather prid ed herself, aud sometimes he would peti tion lor seed, being very fond of flowers, as he said, and Very anxious t J introduce them in his own garden. On one of these occasions Mr. Bigelow, after a lilt e visible embarrassment, said, hesitatingly: "X would like to ask your advice. Miss Esther, on a rather a delicate subject, and one of great importance lo myself. ' There is one thing 1 wish to secure lo make my establishment complete; but 1 hardly know in what manner lo ask for it." W hat is it you refer loi " asked Esther, unsuspiciously. "A wife," was the significant reply. . tm .wli x jiuv. -l ii 'mJ cheeks. She did m trust herself to speak. '.Need I say that you are the one whom. of all others, 1 would seek to place in that position! " lie took her unresisting hand and kissed it with all the gallantry of a young lover. "But wha; will my brother say?" in quired Esther, when she had found voice to speak. " vV hat should he say? You are your own mistress, surely." "Yes, but he is always ridiculing the idea of marriage, and 1 couldn tjrenlure to tell him. ".No need of it. Let's run away to Mew York and get married. You know," he auded gaily "we are both young aud ro mantic, aud it would be quite in charac ter." Esther at first objected, but when she came to consider that in tuis way she wouid ue relieved of a great portion of the eui- oarrassmeut which sucu a step would nat urally bring with it, she consented, and that day week was appointed for the de parture. She required this lime to make preparations. Meanwhile, if Esther had not been so ex clusively occupied with her own aS airs, she might have no.iced that a change had come over Piniip, lie was often absent evenings, and when at home was more sdenl aud ab stracted than his wont. The former she readily attribulai to the cause which he as signed namely, a pressure of business. ine latter she Old not observe, her mind being preoccupied. We, who are in the secret, may lake the liberty ol following uini on one of his business calls, ll was a neat cottage, from whose front door dang led an immense knocker, that Pnilip Ma- sou Knocked, me soor was openeu ojr uie same Miss Preston, who. some months be fore, he thought might do" for air. Uige low. "Good eveninir, Maria," as he entered. After a brief conversation about the weath er, the crops, and other standard topics, which, however trivial Ihey niav aeem, could hardly be dispensed with, he began to show signs of emuaxrassmenl, ana nnai- lv eiaculalcd: - ... - r - - "Maria Miss Preston l mean .nana, what are your opinions about marriage? "Why," said she. "1 hardly know. don't think 1 have given much considera tion to Ibe subject." "Because," continued Philip. "I find my opinions have suffered a great change on this point. There was a time when 1 thought it unwise; but now, if 1 could get a good wife, such as you, for cample, i should be inclined to try it." "Oh, Mr. Mason said Miss Presto a, in some perturbation, "how you talk." five minutes afterward Miss Preston had accepted the proposal of Philip, and the two were, to ail intents and purposes, en- mired. -The only thing I think of," said the irentleman, after a brief pause "is that my aimer Esther is a decided enemy to marriage. and 1 hardly dare to tell her 1 am about lo marry. If we could only get away and have the ceremony performed it would be pleas- Miter ' "Suppose we go to New York," suggest A thfl bride elect. A imod idea. We'll eo. When can you foe ready I" Vti M.irwinv morninz." So next Monday morning was agreed upon. It so happened that Esther was to start on Monday afternoon for the same place, with the same purpose in view but " . - . . : . I. n w-tnvvBT warn of this coincidence hcjluci Th. tmHrr will please eo forward a week. By this time the respective parties have reached New York, been united in the ho y bonds of inatrimony, and are now legally h,.i..H .n.i wife. They .were located at i,..t..ia cimafAtl nn the nune filreeLaad eve a .K m siite of the wav. but, were far from being aware of the propinquity. - k mnrninir succeeding ihe two mar- he . ut,iniUr chance they hap- Ld on the same day Mr. Bigelow and istner started out for walk down the tree. It so happened that Philip and his wife were at the same moment walking up iuc street, ine natural consequences was that the two parties met. "Ilea vena! my sister!" exclaimed Philip. "Merciful goodness! my brother!" re turned Esther. "What brings you here with Mr. tow!" Bige- "Xay, how haopens it that. you are here wiui jusb i rest oaf "Miss Preston is now my wife! "And Mr. Bigelow is now my husbandl" "But I thought you wire opposed to iuainuiouyr" 'And I suppose vou were equally so." "My friends," interposed Mr. Bigelow, "this is a day of surprises, but I trust .of such a nature that we shall all be made the happier thereby. My regret, Mr. Mason. at robbing you of your housekeeper is quite dissipated by the knowledge thai you have so soon supplied her place." It gives us pleasure to state that neither Philip nor his sister ever bad occasion to regret the double elopement. A Doctor's Mistake. At some of the more primitive German and Bohemian watering places a quaint old cust jiu prevails, in virtue of which the resident medical or bath doctors take up then stations every morning at a fixed hcur, under particular trees, on the leading promenade of their respective Bade-Ort, so that their patieuts may make sure of find ing them for consultation or advice at a particular time and in a particular place. A g od memory for faces is a sine qua non to ihese sons of -Esculapiua, who in the heigat of the season frequently interview from fifty to sixty invalids apiece during these receptious. Mistakes as to identity, however, will occur, and sometimes result in singularly comical complications. Re cently one of the most popular physicians at a crowded Bade Urt was visited under his tree by an American gentleman, a re cent arrival, who complained that the waters caused him such terrible headaches that he thought he had better drop them and depart to other climes. The doctor unwilling thus promptly to lose his patient, looked over him hastily and, perceiving that he wore a fat sombrero, told him it was not the waters that made his head acne, but his unconscionably heavy hat." Swiftly the American betook him to the nearest hatter, of whom he purchased a straw fabric so light ai to be all but im ponderable, and went on drinking the waters as before. II is headaches, how ever, growing worse instead Ot leaving him, he again called upon the medical ad viser a few days later, and told him that his bead was still so bad that he really must try some other cure. The doctor, within the meantime had forgotten all about his previous prescriptions, and was as re luctant as ever to let the patient depart, again cast a comprehensive glance at him, and espying the straw hat, exclaimed : 'You cannot expect to be free from headache if you wear such preposterously light head-covering. A man of your age, nearly bald, in this hot weather, must pro tect his head from the sun's rays, by a stout, solid hat!" Tbp mimn Mied el ntaTiacutox for a few seconds' in blank aatoaiaiuuevl, then, after bowing profoundly, he sardoni cally replied: Thank you, doctor ; 1 am off to the railroad station!" turned on his heel and departed. Little Jak-1 Joaea. Old Mrs. Jones borrowed Mrs. Brown's recipe for making watermelon pickle the other day, and, being hard of hearing, as she couldn t see to read very well, she got her grandson Jakie to read it for her. Jakie took the paper, like a dutiful child, and, holding it upside dewn, commenced : ' Take a green watermelon "Why, Jakie, ain't you mistaken t I thought the melon must be ripe." "Oh, what s tne matter wid you I Uew ever see a watermelon that wusn't irreen ?" Cut the watermelon into four halves " 'But there ain't only two halves to any thing. I don t believe you are reading that, Jakie." (Veil, Idon t have to, anyhow, that's what the reseet says. Inen soak it in a pint cup " "Oh, dear me I ilow in tne world can you put a watermelon in a pint cup ?" "V ell, I aint here to tell the whereases snd ho wf ores.' I'm just readin' the facts and you can put in the hlosof ee to suit your taste. After soakin the melon put it in a skillet aid fry it fur five days." '1 wonder if Mrs. Brown sent me such a recipe as that I said tne old lady ; uui Jakie kept on: "Then put the watermelon in a quart bowl and pour over it a gallon of vinegar, akuig care not to spill the vinegar I'd just like to know how you can pour a gallon into a quart bowl without spilling any of it : ' but Jakie continued : "Then sift a peck oi pepper mrougn a milk strainer over the melon, and to one cud of butter and the white and yolk sand shells of three eggs, ana inrow in tne oiu hen that laid them, and four sticks of cin namon drops and two tablespoonful of qui nine and run it through a coffee-mill and let it stand till it ferments, and then put it matin can and tie the canto a dog's tail, Ibis will stir it up to the right consistency and then you can turn it oil in crocks and have it ready for use. Serve it cold and spread it on mi nee pie and it makes capital dessert, and Jakie slid out of the door and left the old lady looking like a wrinkle on a monu ment. littoral Vlnecar. - While traveling through Texas, recently. I heard of aud visited Uie above resort of the sick and afflicted. Sour lake is situated in Hardin coucty, Texas, nine miles from the Texas and New Orleans railroad. It is certainly one of nature's freaks. On my way from Houston to oracge. l stopped off at the nearest station and visited the lake. At that time there were about seventy-five visitors from different parts of the Union stopping at Ibe lake for their health, using the water for bathing and drinking. The lake is what 1 should call a large sized pond, with bathing apartments around the sides. Tbe water is sour, hence its name ; and gas is oozing up through the ground all about near the place, and bubbling up tnrough the water in the lake. By taking an empty fruit-can with one end out and a small hole punched in tbe other end, and by slicking the open end in the mud near the lake, gus will shoot out througa the hole aud burn like a candle, if set on fire. Near the lake are eight or ten springs, all of a different class of water, but mere or less sour. They are numbered from one to eight ; some drink one and some another, according to their ailments. While 1 was there I drank No. 3, as I was a little in clined to be dyspeptic at the time, and 1 was lold to use No. 3, and thought it helped me immediately. No. 8 is sour enough to make lemonade. There is a large hotel and many out cabins on tbe premises. Tbe hotel is well Kept but the improvements are poor, the property being in UUgition. LtlB tor Bugs A widow who was going to leave Chi cago, held an auction of her household ef teas, and everything went at prompt sale until little but the bedstead was left. Just before this was put up some of the women went spying around, and discovered that it was inlested by bed-bugs. This fact was noised around until it came to the ears of the auctioneer, who mounted bis box and said: "Words cannot express the poignancy of my sorrow over the base canard which has been put in circulation in this crowd. 1 have sold goods in this town twenty-nine 1 ing years, and this is the first instance in which bugs have been permitted . to step between me and the purchasing public Ladies and gentlemen, if there is a bug in or about that bedstead 1 waul to see him. 1 cannot and will not believe there is. It would be a slander a must foul slander on the character of this widow who is about lo remove to the Stale of Ohio." Being invited to step down and view the bug for himself, he made an inspection. I hey were there. They were galloping in aud out ard up and down, and it was no use lo dispute the fact. "Ladies and gentlemen," said the auc tioneer, as he resumed hfs post, "I found bugs. 1 don't exactly rememember the Latin for them, but they are there. And now let me talk to you as a friend. Bed bugs were not made for gaudy show, nor were they made for a life of ease. It is a law of nature thai they should inhabit bed steads. They can no more go out under uie barn and make a living than a dog can become an eagle and float through space. The aversion among you to this insect is 'founded on lalse principles. His bite scarcely irritates the sleeper, but it cleanses and purities the blood. But for Uie bed- ougs of this country we should all have boils and carbuncles. They keep down warts. They cause moles to disappear. Give them a chance and they would remove corns without pain. The great " "r'ifty cents?" called an old woman who remembered lh.it she had a remedy at home. "Fifty cents! I am offered fifty cents for a $10 bedstead, aud as 1 was going lo say, the great Napoleon always asked for a bed wiin bugs in it. 1 am offered fifty cents and yet Cupar had his bugs. 1 am " "Une dollar." "I am offered one dollar, and yet the poets of Greece immortalized the insects before you. The widow tells me that she has not had an ache or a pain since the first bug made his appearance. How many of you have read what Homer wrote a'out themt What was the fountain of Mozart's Twelfth Mass And yet 1" "Two dollars." "And yet 1 hear only two dollars! Do you have headache! Are you afflicted with giddiness! Do you have roaring in the ears?" "Three dollars." "My friends, let me go home and get my copy of 'Paradise Lost' and read to you one short chapter. What did Milton " "Pour dollars." "Ah !1 began to see that art and culture are not unknown to the audience. Did Alexander the Gruat have boils! Never; i-nm'SDil whyr j - "Pivedoliara!" "1 am bid five dollars. 1 would like to quote a verse from a well-known Latin poet, but time presses , and this bedstead is sold for five dollars, cash on the nail. adultermtloa in Fooa. The adulteration of our food, drink and medicines, which it is now sought to pre vent by National legislation, has already attained a surpassing magnitude. Experi ence warrants the belief that if not effici ently checked it will be much more exten sive in the future than now. The work of adulteration is one of growth. It begins in a small way and ends nowhere, In cof fee, for example; a third of a century ago it was adulterated with chicory to the ex tent of about two and a half pouns to the hundred. From that point it grew in a few years to fully fifty per cent. Then the chicory itself was subjected to adultera tion and now it is not impossible to obtain samples of so-called coffee which does not contain more than twenty-five per cent of the genuine article. Even the man who buys his coffee in the berry is liable to re ceive a villainous admixture of real ber ries with other stuff that has been moulded into the true shape but contains none of the true material. Parlies in the trade re member when five per cent, of adultera tion In pepper was about as much as was considered safe; and now the bogus amounts, in the worst cases, to not far from ni tenths of the whole. And in these, as well as other cases too numerous to mention, viler stuff is now used as a sub stitute than people oared to employ at the outset. There is no limit to the fraud when once it is started; or at least the limit is only reached in the utter extinction of tne genuine article. That limit has already been touched in the case of not a few drugs; it is nearly reached in the manufac ture of artificial honey: and sugar and but- tei are already far gone in the process of deterioration. Surely it is time to stop. The greed which would amass riches at the risk of causing disease ana death to tnou sands has had play enough. It has become a question of self-preservation to tne great mass of consumers. They must die if the adulterators be permitted to ply their ne farious arts much longer. Let us call a halt along the whole Une and at once. Tlcailna- UK Noea. "Dis feller comes mit my saloon und asks for peer," began the witness as Samuel Peters stood beiore ine oar ot justice. "Vhen be has one glass he tells me set 'em oop again. Vhen ne has two glasses he vas as dry as a prush fence, lie drinks six glasses right off, und says I must sharge it to der sinking fund. 1 doan know vat such tinges mean, und 1 lock der door und makes ail ready for a fight mit him? "And you bad one 1 " "VeL you can see how my nose is all busted oop, und some plack on my eye, und such a bad feelings in my ears. 1 vas novhere: yea 1 vas, 1 vas under der table," "Who struck first ?" "Vel, 1 gifs him a shendle tap on der nose to make him see do; he must pay oop." You locked the door on him and tapped him on tbe noser' "Yaw." "Well, the prisoner is discharged and you may go home." "V bat I Doan t you send him up for six months ?" No, sir." "Doan' I git some predection of der law!" "Not when you lock the door on a man and begin tickling hut nose. "Vel, I nefer see ! I might as vel close oop my peeenees und take - poison. Dot preaks 'me all down like a child, und 1 tells der old vouians dot we move pack to Milwaukee right off." The Crowd of England is rained at 134,000 or ,670,000. T Bawaaelpauow oT Mas. She looked just like that kind of a woman when she came into the sanctum, and all the seniors became instinctively very busy and so absorbed in their work that they did not see her, which left the youngest man on the staff an easy prey, for be looked at the visitor with a little natural politeness, ana was even soil enougn to oiler her a "Yon are the editor!" she said, in a deep, bass voioj. lie tried to say yes" so she could bear bun, while his colleagues in the sanctuiu couldn't, but it was a failure, for the woman gave him dead away in a minute. You are," she shouted. "Then listen to me look at me what am I!" The foolish youngest man looked at her timidly and ventured to say, in a feeble voice, that she looked to be about forty ssv "Nursling." she shrieked, "had you the soulful eyes ot a free man you could see shining on my brow the rising light of a brighter day." - "Could 1?" asked the youngest man tim idly. "Yes, you could!" the woman said in tones of immeasurable scorn. "Now hear me; have you a but I cannot bring myself to use the hateful expression in the style of masculine possession are you anybody's husband?" The youngest man blushed bitterly and said that he wasn't as yet, but be bad some hopes And you expect your that is, you ex pect the woman whose husband you will be to support you?" The youxgest man blushed more keenly than before, and tremblingly admitted that he had some expectations that that that the only daughter of his proposed father-in-law if' he might put it that way "Yah!" snarled the woman "now let me tell you the day ot women's emancipa tion is at hand. From this time we are free, free, free. You must look for other slaves to bend and cringe before your ma jesties and wait upon you like slaves. .You wilt led the change in your affairs since we have burst our chains, and how will you live without the aid of women. Whc makes your shirts now!" she added fierce ly. The youngest man miserably said that a tailor on J street made his. U'm," said the woman, somewhat dis concerted. "Well, who washed 'em theuf" she added triumphantly. A Lhlnainan just west of r street," the youngest man said, with a hopeful hght in his eyes. "Proud worm, who cooks your victu als!" The youngest man said truly that he 'didn't know the name of the cook at bis restaurant, but be was a man about forty years old, and round as a barrel with whiskers like the stuffing of a sofa. The woman looked as though she was going to strike him. "Well," she said, as one who was lead ing a forlorn hope, 'who makes up your bed and takes care of your room?" The youngest rxan replied with an air of truth and frankness thai be roomed with a railroad conductor and an ex-Pullman ileemi.tf-car porter took care of their room. and Wk ned upon him with ine lace ol a drowning man who is only five feet away from a life buoy. "Miserable dependent," she Cites, "who sews on your buttons! The youngest man on the stall rose to his feet with a proud, happy look on his face. Haven't a sewed button on a single ar ticle of my clothes," be cried, tnumpbant- y, "patents, every one of em fastened on like copper rivets and nothing but studs and collar buttons on my shirts, llaven'l had a button sewed on for three years. Patent buttons last for years after the gar ments have gone to decay." And the woman fled down the winding passage and the labyrinth stairs with a hollow groan, hile the other members ot the Stan, breaking through their heroic reset ve, clus tered around the youngest man and con gratulated him upon the emancipation of their sex. A Bomanilo Life. Jean Baptiste Charles Alphonse Cayron du Cayle, a son of tbe Count Cayron du Cayle, fur many year the governor of the Hotel des lnvaliues, Pans, recently, died at his residence, No. 2,067 Fifth avenue, New York. He was the youngest and last survivor ot nine sons, all of whom were killed or wounded in the service of France. His hfe was a romance. Its prominent in cidents were narrated recently by his widow. He was born at Paris, Oct. 18, 184. At five years of age he was placed in the military school for officers' sons at La Fleche, near Lamont. Many men now prominent in France were his fellow stu dents. Al the age of eighteen be joiced a hussar regiment and remained in it for t wo years. In lo4e, after leaving a ball, he went with a number of companions to a revolutionary club. The -Marsellaise" was suggested and the whole party was arrested. Du Cayle was tried for treason, but family influence saved huu. He was then transferred to Africa, and made a lieutenant in a regiment of Spain. He was in several campaigns under Gen. Negrier and St. Arnaud. Four brothers were in Africa with bun. The other four were already dead. At tbe outbreak of the Crimean war he was ordered with his regiment to Russia. He was at the charge at Inkerman and alsoatBalaklava,and was badly wounded at the battle of Alma. From this wound he was always slightly lame. He was bre vetted. captain for gal lantry, and held the position of ensign bearer to general (now Marshal MacMahon His future seemed bright, when an unfort unate affair ruined all his prospects. There was much poll teal feeling among the offi cers of the French army, and the OrleanUls and imperialists were bitterly opposed to each other. This resulted in a series of seven duels, all on one day, and between champions of the rival factions. Four men were killed outright in these duels. Du Cayle was au Orleamsi and fough Kenede Marnesea, who was said lo be tne illagiii mate son of Napoleon 1IL Marnesea was killed, and then began Du Cayle's troubles. His promotion was stopped, men were (.assed over his head, and finally he was lorced lo resign. He returned to Paris, and as be had a twa basso voice he studied music at the conservatory for three yeais and became a pensionaire of the opera. He was also basso in tne original perform ance of "The Bohemian Girt" at Kouen. He then went traveling in the East Indies with an opera company, was away five years, and accumulated a fortune, which ue sent to France. On his return he lauded al Marseilles and learned that he had lost all but 50,000 francs by tne failure of a banking bouse. With this money be wen. to Buenos Ay res and siai ted a theatre, it failed, and he went to New Orleans, where be passed many unhappy years. He re lumed to France in lsotf, and came back to thn,city.as a basso. He sang with Hit Hess and Kellogg troupe, and many other companies. Tin Studio of a Taxidermist, In the window was perched a large brown eagle, with an unlucky little bird in its strong, sharp claws. That eagle was shot in Englewood, about five weeks ago," said the proprietor. "His extended wingr measure over six feet." Near the eagle a gray owl stare d out Into the street, as if be had forgotten bis natural dislike to day light. He held a mouse in his thin, hookeo taloons. S'ispended back of these was a bat, with wings extemled, over twelve inches. Some wild ducks, which bad been just received for stuffing, lay with their glossy green and black plumage carefully smoothed down. The skins of some ducks and other birds lay around in various stages of preparation. The reporter gave a start as be nearly stepped on a little white Spitz dog, curled on a mat near the door ; but he, like his companion, was only life-like, and past all "delight to bark and bite." Several glass cases were ranged about the room, and contained hundreds of birds of almost as many different species. Some were glistening in sheeny plumage of green, red and gold, with the shifting brilliancy of "changeable" siik. Others were quietly dressed little songsters. Some gray squir rels sat up on a show-case, as pert as if in their native woods. Here, too, were snowy-feathered geese, and effigies of pet canal ies. Several beads of deer with their antlers on were mounted to do duty as bat racks, and other deer were stuffed entire. A large sea-gull and a vicious-looking hawk swooped down from tbe ceiling. Near tbe door hung a number of lovely white doves with out -stretched wings. These were only a few of the things that met tbe glance, as almost every kind of bird known in this country was represented, and the collect .on ranged all the way from a beetle to a bear. The reporter began question ing. What is your largest class of cus tomers !'' 'A good many people send their dead pets here to be mounted," replied the tax ider oiist. "A large share are canary birds, and they send, loo, dogs, cats, squirrels, rabbits, even horses once in a while. Dur ing the autumn aud winter, when tbe game laws give liberty to sportsmen, I get many specimens of game to inounL 1 presume Ihey keep them as trophies. They are usually wild ducks, geese, partridges or deer. Sometimes they shoot an eagle, or big owl or hawk, and these they are pretty sure to want stuffed. Owls make very handsome birds when stuffed, as they are plump, have plenty of compact plum age and striking eyes. "1 presume florists use many of those white doves?" said the reporter. "Oh, yes, I have a large order for them now. Ihey perch them on floral designs for funerals. There is always a market lor pure white biros." "VMure do you get the brilliant colored birds?" "From South America mostly. They skin them down there. They cost differ ent prices according to their color. Some of the hues are very rare." "Are milliners using many of them now?" asked the reporter, who was not posted in the matter. 'Not this year, as they are not the style, but last year 1 could sell all I could find without ' any trouble. Women are very changeable. Fur dealers have a good many aaimals starred tv soroVMaaojai A handsome black bear. Infer, or pauUier, attracts attention." A Tipsy Tomcat. A well-grown black and white cat bad wandered away from a house in Forsyth street. New York, in a maudlin condition, but it was not until it reached Grand street that this peculiarity was noticed. It wss a bitter cold day and tbe piercing wind blew along the street causing thai thorough fare to be almost deserted by pedestrians. A crowd seemed to take possession of tbe sidewalk near Forsyth street and moved slowly on its way toward Williamsburg ferry; about five feet ahead of the crowd was the drunken feline staggering with slow and uncertain gait, seemingly uncon scious that it was a cold day. Everybody was buttoned close to tbe neck,but "Tom" did not appear to mind it a bit. The crowd were orderly and followed with qniet interest, each saying to the other: "Did you ever see a cat drunk I" "Here is a specimen." Where did he come from." "House in Forsyth street," replied a small boy. 1 he usual disposition to shy a bnck or a rock was subdued by the novelty of tbe spectacle. No, hoofing or shout'.ng was indulge! in and no policeman could be seen. Every body followed to watch the move ments of the inebr ate cat. He took up a good deal of the sidewalk for a cat and measured it well; but one controlling mo tive seemed to possess him, and that was to go as straight forward as possible; once or twice he almost toppled over, staggered to either side, but just managed in keeping his balance. "Tom's" head was a study. While the legs were deprived of their usual assurance the head was steady, and the eyes dull in appearance; occasionally he would swing in a degree to either side but mainly kept right. "Tom" proceeded in this fashion for half a block when he turned to an open hallway, col on the step with great difficulty, leaned against the wall slid on his side and instantly fell asleep. The crowd gathered about him snd extended that mercy they never show to the human drunkard let him lay in peace. Capturing hla Gun AUT. A party of soldiers out West, not having much to do, resolved to go bear-hunting. 1 hey had been out about sixteen hours and had not seen a bear, and being tired and hungry, returned to camp. On their arrival at headquarters they missed one of their compam jus, but thought nothing of it, one of them remarking "He will return all right. " They made their camp-fire, and com menced preparin ' for supper; they had the coffee over the fire; one of them was slic ing some potatoes, another was stewing some meat, and the remainder sat around the fire wailing, when they were all startled by a terrible noise that seem to come near er to camp. Suddenly the thickets parted, and in rushed the missing man, his hair standing on end, his face deadly white,his gun gone, snd his arms flying in the air, as if grasp ing for imaginary objects, and about two feet tehind him came a great Diaca Dear, The soldiers seized their guns, and one of them, levelling his piece, shot the bear dead. The pursued soldier turnedwhen he saw the bear drop, and, looking at one of them, said breathlessly "Is he dexd!" One of them asked: "Why didn't you shoot him, instead of runnini:?" "What do you take me for!" replied the missing one; "do you imna i was sucu a darned fool ss to shoot him when I could bring him in alive?" A large aerolite fell Intba suburbs of Erie Ue other night- DetrotlY, Start. Good stories are told about railroad con doctors, a most popular class of people. One of the best told is of a Kansas City conluctor, a man nDted for the faithful and polite manner in which be performs his duties, and his integrity snd honesty no one bar ever bad to doubt. Not long since wnile so-called detectives were riding on about every train, the conductor discovered one of those important personages aboard one of his coaches. He kept his eye on him and before long discovered him asleep. In an instant he took in the situatiou, and going up to him he took him by the shoul der and said: "Wa-wake up here; y-you are paid for watching me, and I want y-you to do your duty, or I'll report you." Ibe effect was magical. The passengers the most of whom knew the conductor to be probably the most trusted employe on the road, took in the situation in an instant and the laugh went round the coach. For the remainder of the night whenever Pink erton's man showed the least disposition to close his eyes, he was awakened by some one shouting: "Wake up here; do your duty, or I'll report you." When the train reached Council Bluffs he made a hasty exit, satisfied that he had met al least one conductor anxious to be watched a? well as one who did his duty and expected others to do so likewise. A good story is also told of a Milwaukee conductor as honest and straightforward a man as ever lived, and as courteous as hon est. Peculations had occurred on Uie road and detectives were put on. One of these worthies was on our Mdwaukee friend's train. Matters ran on for a month, and the detectives had no report to make againt Jerry. Al tbe end of the month Jerry walked into the office of the general mana ger of the road, and addressing the mag nate said: -Mr. Manager, up to one month ago I have been for fourteen years a con-clor. During that time 1 have, to the best of my ability, tndeavorel to discharge my duty. I have never knowingly deprived this com pany of one penny of lis just and legtimate dues, aud in no way have 1 laid myself under the imputation of being a thief. Nevertheless you have put a detective on my train to watch me, as if I were an or dinary sneak thief. During the month thai this man was watching me 1 have kept back part of the company's money stolen if you please to so designate it and here it is." As be spoke Jerry laid down a pack age of $1,000, and continuing, "Here, also is my resignation, r rom this day on 1 will never do a day's work for a corporation that treats me as a thief." The general manager was taken aback in no slight degree. He urged Jerry to stay with him, but it was of no use. It is scarce ly necessary to say that Jerry had no dif ficulty in getting into another berth. Readers will all remember the old story told of the driver of one of Kipp & Brown'r 'busses in New York city. Alter a long day's work the ek'er Kipp saw the driver go up into tbe lofl over the stable and fol lowed him, The driver took from his pocket the day's receipts and began count ing the money over. He laid six-pence in oneeile saying, "Ihls is for old Kipp." The next six-pence went into another place ari:H Hr Mintmrtufl remiLrlf. 1 1113 U for moVWTi went on until ibe money was all aivideu equally uiu iwtr pnes rnm was one six-pence over. As Mr. Kipp watched the man he saw him scratch his head, and that he was evidently in tiouble. "1 never bad it come out that wav before," be said, "and I dn t know whether that is old Kipp's sixpence or mine. However I'll give old Kipp a chance and toss for it heads for old Kipp tails for me." He tossed the sixpence into the air and it fell head up. A.caln the driver scratched bis head, and saying "I don't think that was fair, I'll try it again,"' sent the sixpence into the air once more. This time it fell tail up. 1 knew it," said the driver, "1 Iknew it was mine, but old Kipp can't say 1 ciJn't treat him square." lie put bis money into his pocket with evident satisfaction, and started down stairs. "Hold on," said Mr. Kipp, from his hiding-place, "you infernal scoundrel. 1 want a word with you. You go to the office and get vour pay. Had you treated old Kipp t quartly m that loss up 1 wculd not say a word, but a rascal that will not only steal, but do such an infernal mean thing as you have for a sixpence can never drive stage another day for old Kipp. " The ceitainiy noggish driver went on with a flea in his ear. How to say It. "Say "I would rather walk, " and not I bad rather walk." Say "I doubt not but I shall," and not "I don't doubt but I shall." Say "for you and me, "and not "for you andL" Say "whether I be present or not," and not 'present or no. Say "not that I know," and not "that I know of.". Say "return it to me," ana not "return it back to me." Say "I seldom see him," and not "that I seldom or ever see him." Say "fewer friends," and not "less friends." Say "if I mistake not," and not "if 1 am not mistaken." Say "game is plentiful," and not "game is plenty." Say "1 am weak in comparison wiin you," and not "to you." Say "it rains very fast, ana noi "very hard." Say "in its primitive sense, ' and not "primary sense." Say he was noted for his violence, sna not that "be was a man notorious for vio lence." Say "thus much is true," and not "this much is true." Say "I lifted it," and not "I lifted it UP- And last, but not least, say ' i take my paper and pay for it in advance." I Km it. A funny fellow named Scrubbs got into a first-class railway carriage, in England before smoking carriages were invented, in the carnage was seated a sour-looking old gentleman. After the train had started, Scrubbs took out his pipe. "You mustn t smoke here, at once said the old gentleman. I know that," replied sctudds, lie then calmly filled bis pipe. "Did I not tell you, "said the a g. again, that you can't smoke here ?" "1 know that,"iiloomily replied Scrubbs, taking out his fusee box. He lit a fusee, but now the wrath of the a g. was dread ful. "Yon shant smoke here, sir!" be shrieked. "1 know that," added Scrubbs, allowing the fusee to exhaust itself, when he lit another, and another, the stench was awful, the smoke suffocating. The a g., coughing and spluttering. struggled for words. You'd better smoke," said he. 'I know that," replied Scrubbs, apply log the blazing fusee to tbe expectant pipe. NEWS LV BRIEF. Canada has 5,773 po-it-ofliees. Tho fires of last year cost Chicazo $1,164,159. The heliotrope is a native of Peru. A tunnel la proposed undei Brook lyn. There are not 500 negroes In Ger many. Cork, Ireland, has a population of A Kansas coon is made to tnrn a grindstone. There are no horsits in Greenland and Lapland, There are 24 cubic feet of loose earth In a ton. The Ionz Arctic ni2ht is of 13 days deration. Arkansas stands sixth In the list of fruit growing states. The divln' bell was first used in Europe in the year 1500. The banana ripens in Florida dur ing every month of the year. The tobacco crop of Pennsylvania. this year, is worth $3,000,0i0. b.kj.uoo cigars were mIe in Tioura and Potter counties last year. The Princess of Wales has iut passed her thirty -sixth birthday. the Komin emperor Maximlnus was upward of eight feet in neight. The population of Missouri Is 2,168,814; that of Tennessee, 1,512.4'JJ. President Havs has on hand 400 unanswered requests for his autograph. The oldest monument In fie world is in the Ashmolean Museum at Ox ford. An attempt was recently made to sssassinate President Solomon, ol" Uayti. The wealth of James G. Fair, the new Senator from Nevada, is estimated at12,00,et)0. Koellof Von Baren. a poor Hoil iu- der, residing in New Uaveu. has fallen heir to $3J,0O0,0O0. Herajsns. the magician, has In herited $27,000 trora an uucle lately residing in Germany. Of 437 persons employed In the Government offices at Toronto, seven ty families supply lt&. Egcs received at New Y;rk in 1830 amounted to 55l,351 birreii". against 455,674 In 1379. From Novercbar 15:h to Jinu.irv 5th Cincinnati and Chicago have salt--ed down 4,875,001 hogs. The national debt of England Is held by about 23,000 persons ; that of t tance py aooul 4,000,000. Shanghai Pierce, thecattle klncr of Jackson county. Texas, lately sold 7,000 cattle for $16 per head. David Jones, a brewer died In New Y'ork recently. He left an estate valued at ten million dollars. The Duke of Northumber'and is about to introduce the electric light in Alnwick Castla. his family seat. The Key. nenry Ward Beeclier savs that he has just declined au offer of $3J0,M0 to lecture lor one year. , Dilrymyle, the great wheat far- imt l jJakott, cles rl $2"0.000 03 bis els. -x-.v, w . There are 15,000 professional thieves in London, known to tho au thorities. The police force number 12.- 000. The acquisitions ldssia has ma.te since Waterloo are equal iu extent 10 all the empire she hid previously In r.urope. Mr.Brasser.a member of Pari i men t far Hasting, England, has recently purchased 120,000 acres ol land iu Colorado. VanJerbilt is credited with an in come of $10,000,000 per auburn. Jay Gould with $5,000,000 aud Russel S ige 1111 4,UW,UUO. Professor Richard A. Prortor. the astronomer, is expected iu Sau Fran cisco this week on his way back from Australia to England. The Chrislain Iutclliuenci-r puts the expense incurred lor seeking Charley Koss at $00,000, and tlescr.bes his lather as still at tae task. Sir Nathaniel R jthschild has for the second time returned twenty per cent, of the half-yeariv rents of his numereus Englisu tenants. Tbe painter, Manet, has in hand a great picture, representing t.he escape of Rochefort and his companions from captivity in New Caledonia. The finest portrait extant of Oliver Cromwell is said 10 be that iu the Baptist College at Bristol, for which $2,625 has been refused. Texas has 23C counties, of which but 162 are organized. There were only 117 organized in 1871, but they count on having 300 eventually. A return issued by the German Postmaster-Ganetal shows t'ie number of post-cards used in Europe in the year 1878 to have been 342,000,000. General Ord will be presented with a residence in San Antonio. Texa-". urhM hla flftpviiwi in huhalf rl.u wv- V U.V 1' ....... . I. WU.I, V, b 1 1 U frontier are understood and appreci ated," Out of eight hundred and forty- seven tires in the city ot Philadelphia, during the year 188J, one hundred and twenty-five were occasioned by the explosion of coal oil lamps. The manufceutre of agricultural implements has doubled within the last ten years. In 1850 this industry gave employment to 5,361 hanl-t; this year it gives employment to 40.6SJ. The Lake Superior Iron mines had an output of 1,97 5,062 tons last year and produced 48,5'i2 ions of pi metal. The product of oie sincj 1856 has b -ea 1j 30tf,UJ ions, ana 01 pig uieial . JJ,- z77 ions. Mr. Obadiah Dawson, a farmer in La port e county, lnd.. who dieJ re cently, had lived b8 days ou water alone, being unable to receive any solid food because or a cancer ot the stomacb. The State Secretary of the Illinois department of agriculture has issued a statement show ing that the corn crop in inat State for 18sJ was 250,6 J7,i)'M. a decrease compared with lSi'ioi 55,216, 341 bushels. Chicago Is the only one of the five largest cuies in the L uited States, the others being New York, Philadelphia, Brooklyn and Boston, iu which the males are in excess ot the l'emale3 by the present census. The cultivation of tea in India has greatly increased during the last fif teen years. In 1864 the total produc tion was not above 3,000,000 pound, while this year a crop of 40,000,100 to 45,000,000 pounds is expected. the American Consul at Li Ko-" chelle, France, states that the brandy trade of Coguao is declining, for the price oi wine is so high, owing to the ravages ot phylloxera, mat U does not pay to disul uie juice of the grape into orandy.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers