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• THE AMERICAN CITIZEN,
II pnhllaheri erery Wedne»l»y In lh» borough "112 Butler,
by THOMAS BOWS»O**C. K. ASDMSOS ™ Main
Opposite to Jark'» Hotel—office lip stairs 111 the brick
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Fsom the Sew Vork Tribune.
The Southerner at Home.
[from the Journal of a Northern Travelerou Horseback.]
Yesterday I met a well-dressed man upon
the road, and inquired of him if he could
recommend me to a comfortable place to
pass the night ?
"Yes, lean," said he ; "You stop at
John Watson's. He is a real good fellow,
and his wife is a nice, tidy woman; he s
got a good house, and you'll be as well
taken care of there as any place I know.
" What I am most concerned about is a
clean bej," said I.
you are safe for that there." j
So distinct a recommendation was un
t usual, and when 1 reached the house lie
had described to me, somewhat before
nightfall. I of course stopped to solicit
In the gallery sat a fine, stMwart man,
and a woman who in sine and figure match
ed him well. Smite ruddy, lat children
were playing on the steps. The man wore
a full beard, which is very uncommon in
these parts. 1 rode ton horse-block, ucai
the gallery, and asked if 1 could be ac
commodated for the night? "Oh. yes.
you can stay here if you can get along
without anything to eat; we don't have
anything but once a week. " Well. you
look as if it agrees with you, I reckon I'll
try it for one night." " Alight, then. sir.
alight. Why,you came from Texas, didn't
you? Your rig looks like it,"he said"as
I dismounted. " Yes, I've just crossed
Texas, all the way from the Rio Grande.'
" Have you. though ? Well. I'll be right
glad to hear something of that country."
He threw my saddle and bags across the
rail of the gallery, and we walked together
to the stable.
" I hear that there arc a great many
Germans in the western part of Texas.'
lie said presently. " There arc a great
many; west of the Guadeloupe, more
Germans than American born." '• Have
they got many slaves ?" "No." "Well,
won't they break off and make a Free
State down there, by and by?" " I should
think it not impossible that they might."
"I wish to God they would; I would like
right well togo and settle there if it was
free from slavery. You see, Kansas and
all the Free States are too far North for
was raise.l in Alabama, and I don t
want to move into a colder climate ; +>ut I
would like togo into a country where they
hadn't got this curse of slavery."
lie said this not knowing that I was a ;
Northern man ; greatly surprised, I asked,
" What are your objections to slavery, sir.'
" Objections ! The first is here (strik
ing his breast): I was brought up in a
nigger State, una have always been used
to it, but I could never bring myself to
like it. Well.sir, I know slavery is wrong,
and God 'll put an end to it. It's bound
to come to an end, and when the end does
come, there'll be woe in the land. And,
instead of preparing for it.and trying to
make it as light as possible, we are doing
nothing but making it worse and worse.
That's the way it appears to me, and I'd
rather get away from here bofore it comes.
Then. I've another objection to it.l don't
like to have slaves about me. Now, I tell
a nigger togo and feed your horse ; T never
know if he's done it unless I go and sec;
and if he didn't know I would goand see.
and would whip if I found he hadn't fed
him, would he feed him? He'd let him
starve. Pre got as good niggers as any
b>dy, but I never can on them;
they will lie and they will steal, and mke
advantage of me in every way they dare.
Of course they will, if they arc slaves.
Lying and stealing are not the worst of it.
J've got a family of children, aud I don't
like to have such degraded beings round
my houie while they are growing up. 1
know what the consequences are to chil
dren growing up among slaves."
I here told him that I was a Northern
.man, and asked if he could safely utter
«uch sentiments among the people of this
•district., who bore the reputation of being
among the mostcxtreme and fanatical dev
.otees of slavery. " I've been.told a hun
.dred times I should be killed if I were
•not more prudent in expressing my opin
ions; but, when it comes to killing, I'm
as good as the next man, and they know
it. I never came the worst out of a fight
since I was a boy. I never am afraid to
speak what I think to anybody. I don't
think I ever shall be."
" Are there many persons here who
have as bad an opinion of slavery as you
"I reckon you never saw a conscientious
man who had been brought up among
slavery who did not think of it pretty
much as I do—did you?"
"Yes, I think I have, a good many."
" Ah, self-interest warps men's minds
wonderfully, but I don't believe there are
many who don't think sometimes—it's im
possible, I know that they don't."
Were there any others in this neigh
borhood, I asked, who avowedly hated
slavery? He replied that there were a
good many Mechanics, all the mechanics
he knew, who felt slavery to be a great
curse to them, and who wanted to see it
brought to an end in some way. The
competition in which they were constant
ly made to feel themselves engaged with
slave labor, was degrading to them, and
they felt it to be so. There was a good
deal of talk now among them about get
ting laws passed to prevent the owners of
slaves from having them taught trades,
and to prohibit slave mechanics 'from be
ing hired out. He could go out to-mor
row. he supposed, anil in the course of a
day get two hundred signatures to a paper
alleging that slavery was a curse to Mis
sissippi, and praying the Legislature to
take measures to relieve them of it as soon
as practicable. He knew a poor, hard
working man who was lately offered the
services of three negroes for six years
each if he would let them learn his trade,
but he refused the proposal with indigua
tion. saying he would starve before he
helped a slave to become a mechanic.
He considered a coersive government of
the negroes by the whites, forcing them
to labor systematically, and restraining
them from a reckless destruction of life
and property, to be necessary. Of course
he did not think it wrong to hold slaves,
and the profits of their labor were not
more than cuough to pay a man for look
ing after them—not if he did his duty to
them. What was wrong was making slav
ry so much worse than was necessary. Ne
groes would improve very rapidly, if they
\9ere allowed any considerable measure of
the ordinary incitements to improvement.
He knew hosts of negroes who showed ex
traordinary talents, considering their op
portunities for mental devclopement: there
were a great many in this part of the coun
try who could read anil write, and calcu
late mentally, as well as the general run
of white men who had been to schools.—
There were Colonel 's negroes, some
fifty of them ; they were almost as free as
any people in the world, and he did not
suppose there were any fifty more con
tented people, perhaps. They were not
driven hard, and work was stopped three
times a day for meals; they had plenty to
eat, and good clothes; aud through the
whole year they had from Friday night to
Monday morning to do what they liked
with themselves. Saturdays the men gen
erally worked in their patches (private
gardens), and the women washed and
mended clothes. Sundays, tlicy nearly
all went to Sunday-school the mistress
taught, and to meeting, but they were not
obliged to; they could come and go as
they pleased all Saturday and Sunday; they
were not looked after at all. Only on Mon
day motning. if there should be any one
missing, or any one should come to the
field with ragged or dirty clothes, lie
would havb to be whipped, lie had of
ten noticed how much more intelligent
and sprightly these negroes were than the
common run; a great many of them had
books and could read and write; and, on
Sundays, they were smartly dressed, some
of them better than he or his wi<S ever
thought of dressing. This was from the
money they made out of their patches,
Well, then, there wtre two other plant
ations near him, in both of which the ne
groes were turned out to work at half
past three every week-day morning—l
might hear the bell ring for them—and
frequently they were not stopped till nine
o'clock that night. Saturday nights the
same as any other. One of them belong
ed to a very religious lady, and on Sun
day morning at half-past nine she had her
bell rang for Sunday-school, aud after Suu
day-school they had a meeting, and anoth
er religious service after dinner. Every
negro on the plantation was obliged to at
tend all these exercises, and if they were
not . dressed clean they were whipped.—
They were never allowed togo off the
plantation, and if they were caught speak
ing to a negro from any other place, they
were whipped. They could all of them
repeat the catechism, he believed, but they
were the dumbest, and laziest, and most
sorrowful looking negroes he had ever
As a general rule, the condition of the
slaves, as regard their material comfort, is
greatly improved within twenty years.—
Otherwise, he did not know that it had.
It would not be a bit safer to turn them
free, to shift for themselves, than it would
have been twenty years ago. Of this he
was quite confident. Perhaps they were
"Let us have Faith that Right makes Might; aiTd in that Faith let us, to the end,dare to do our duty as we understand it"~ A - LINCOLN
BUTLER, BUTLER COUNTY, PA., WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 23, 1863,
a little more intelligent, knew more, but
they were not as free, not as much accus
tomed to work and contrive for themselves,
as they used to be, when they were not
fed and clothed nearly as .well as now.
Except by the excessive and incessant
labor required of them on some planta
tions, he did not think slaves were often
treated with unnecessary cruelty. It was
necessary to use the lash occasionally.—
Slaves never really felt under any moral
obligation to obey their masters. Faith
ful service .was preached to them as a
Christian duty, &nd they pretended to ac
knowledge it, Wit the fact was they were
obedient just so far as they saw they must
be to avoid punishment; and punishment
was necessary, now and then, to maintain
their faith in their master's power. He
had seventeen slaves, and he did not sup
pose there had been a hundred strokes of
the whip on the place for a year past.
lie asked if there were many Ameri
cans in Texas who wore opposed to slave
ry, and if they were free To express them
selves. I said that the wealthy Ameri
cans there we're all slaveholders themselves
—that their influence all went to make
slave servants fashionable, and labor by
whites disreputable. They were all parti
sans of slavery, and there were a great
many miserable, ignorant and desperate
fellows whom they could employ or en
courage to bully down anything that was
given the name of Abolitionism. " Hut,
arc there not a good many Northern men
there?" he asked. The Northern men,l
replied, were chiefly merchants or specu
lators, who had but one idea, which was
to make money as fast as they could ; and
as nearly all the little money there was in
that country was in the hands of the large
slaveholders, they never lflst'an opportuni
ty to establish their reputation as zealously
loval to the institution.
If that was the way of tilings there, he
said, there was not much chance of its be
cominga free State.l thought the chances
were against it, hut if the Germans con
tinued to flock into the country, it would
rapidly acquire all the characteristic social
features of a free-labor community, having
an abundance and variety of skilled labor,
a home market for a variety of crops, den
ser settlements, and consequently nioro
abundant social, educational and commer
cial conveuicneies. There would soon be
a numerous body of small proprietors, not
so wealthy that the stimulus to personal
and active industry would have been lost, I
but yet able to indulge in a good many
luxuries, and to give employment to nu
merous tradesmen, mechanics and school
teachers, and the laborers who were not
land-holders would be intimately involved
in all their interests with them ; the two
classes not living dissociated -from each
other, as was the case generally in the
South, but engaged in a constant fulfill
ment of reciprocal obligations. If snob a
character of society could once be firmly
and extensively established before the
country got to be much taken up with
these little independent negro kingdoms,
which had prevailed from the beginning
in every other part of the South, 1 did
not think any laws would be necessary to
prevent slavery. It might be a slave State
but it would be a free people.
We had an excellent supper, the bread
being wheat of his own raising, the first
plantation-grown wheat that I have met
with. He said this was an excellent
wheat-growing country if people took any
pains with it. He always grew a little
more than he used in his family. His
crop had never been less than twenty
bushels per acre, and he had once raised
over thirty without manuring or especial
He had grown wheat weighing sixty
six pounds to the bushel. There was a
good market for wheat as it was rarely
raised in that vicinity. Cotton, however,
was ordinarily a more profitable crop, es
pecially since a railroad had lessened the
expense of wagoning it to market. Judg
ing that events in Europe were likely to
lessen the demand for cotton,he had planted
but little thi3 summer, giving his labor
chiefly to corn.
On coming from my room iu the morn
ing my host met me with a hearty grasp
of the hand. " I have slept very little
with thinking of what you told me about
Western Texas. I think I shall have to
go there. If we could get a free State in
this elimaic, I believe it would soon be
the most prosperous in the Union. What
a disadvantage it must be to have your
ground all frozen up and to be obliged to
fodder your cattle six months in the year,
as you do at the North. I don't see how
you live. I think I should like to buy a
small farm near some town where I could
send my children to school—a farm that
I could take care of with one or two hired
men. One thing I wanted to ask you :
are the Germans learning English at alt V
" Oh, yes; they teach the children En
glish in their schools." " And have thev
good sbhools T" " Wherever thev have
settled a't all closely they have. At New
Braunfels, they employ American as well
as German teachers, and instruction can be
had in the classics, natural history, aud
the higher mathematics."
When I lelt, ho mounted a horse and
rode on with me some miles, saying he did
not often find an intelligent man who liked
to converse with him on the question of
slavery. It seemed to him there was an
epidemic insanity on the subject. It is
unnecessary to state his views at length.
They were precisely those which used to
be common among all respectable men at
the South. I have recently received a
letter from him, in which, after alluding
to the excitement which the Kansas ques
tion has produced, lie says he thinks a
considerable change of sentiment has oc
curred from reflection, stimulated by the
discussion of Kansas affairs. He is fully
determined togo to Western Texas, and
reckons that 10 families, and 30 single
men would go with him if there was a
prospect that free servants and laborers
could be hired there and negroes be kept
away. lam sorry to say that, since the
outbreak of the Know-Nothing pestilence,
which was extremely rancorous in Texas,
the German immigration has almost en
tirely ceased, and tho discouragement of
two failures of crops leaves little reason
to expect its revival. The country will
soon, probably, be occupied by the slave
labor withdrawing from Missouri, and the
German population,dispirited and dispers
ed, lose all its respectable qualities. A
slaveholding country cannot support towns,
and without towns or village communities,
the maintenance of varied, intelligent in
dustry, is impossible. The Germans will
relapse to boors or progress to ruffians.
As we rode, an old negro met us, and
we greeted him warmly. lie observed to
me that he had never uttered his senti
ments in the presence of a slave, but in
some way all tho slaves in the country bad,
he thought, been informed what they
were, for they all looked to him as their
special friend. When tliey got trouble
they would often come to liinPW* advice
or assistance. This morning, before I was
up, a negro came to him from some miles
distant, who had been working for a wjiite
man on Sundays till lie owed him three
dollars, which, now the negro wanted it,
lie said lie, could not pay. He had given
the negro the three dollars, for he thought
lie could manage to get it from the white
He confirmed the impression I had
formed of the purely dramatic and decep
tive character of what passed for religion
with most of the slaves. One of his slaves
was a preacher aud a favorite among them.
He sometimes went to plantations twenty
miles away —even further—on a Sunday,
to preach a funeral sermon, making jour
neys of' fifty miles a day on foot. After
the sermon, a hat would be passed round,
and he sometimes brought home as much
as ten dollars. He was the biggest rascal,
the worst liar, thief and adulterer on his
THE RUI.INO PROPENSITY. —Success in
the allotted or chosen walk of life is the
passion, the ruling propensity, in every
condition of society. And it is as potent
in the cottage as in the mansion—the stu
dio of the author and artist as the office of
the merchant—the theatre of pleasure as
as the sanctuary of prayer. It is, in short,
the motive power that creates and holds
together nations, strengthens the bonds that
maintain communities in subjection to law
and order, gives a stimulus to the func
tions of the brain, and imparts consistency
and usefulness to the natural selfishness of
every human creature. It is the presid
ing jjenius of labor in all its branches, and
in both its aggregate and individual ef
forts tenaciously strives to compel the
phantoms that dazzle the imagination to
give place to those realities which tempt
both body and soul to take some path or
another that will ultimately lead to the
promised land—the glittering, fruitful, and
luscious Canaan of our respective, every
day longings. This, in general terms, is
the condition symbolized as prosperity;
and to he acquisition of which, in all its
varied/orms, mankind apply themselves
with marvelous devotion.
A HAPPY RETORT.—A few days since,
during the trial of a case of assault and bat
tery in the Superior Court in this city, a
lawyer, who is fond of quoting Latin, used
the expression, "Nihil fit;" whereupon his
witty opponent, assuming a grave and in
dignant expression of countenance, said to
the jury that as "Nihil" was not a party
to the action, either as the assaulter or the
assaulted, it made no difference whether
"St" or not, or where, or when, or for what
purpose, or with whom, he fought. This
happy '-turn" threw the judge, jury and
spectators into a fit of hearty laughter,
and so disconcerted the quoter of foreign
tongues that he could not even make use
of his own.
WHITH TZ It.
BT ALICE CART. *
All the time my soul Is calling,
"Whither, whither do I go?**
Fur my days like leave* are fulling ,
Front my tree of life below.
Who will come and be my lover 1
Who in strung enough to save,
Now that lam leaning over
The dark silence of the grave?
Who will linger to environ
With a smile tliartiwful place-
Leaving 'Death the lid of iron
Tender kisses on my face!
Wherefore should my soul he calling,
"Whither, whither do I go?"
For my days like leaves are falling ,
In the hands of God, I know.
As the seasons touch their ending,
As the dim year* fade and fleo,
Let me rather still be sending
B<>me goal deed to plend fir me.
Then, though none should stay to weep me,
Lovedike. within the shade,
He will hold me, He will keep me,
And I will not be afraid,
Even that dread time that's coming,
Hut will hide mi- In 111- power, •
And death find my heart there, humming
Like a bee within a flower.
WIT AXi» WISDOM.
KK(IARI) the interests of others, as well
as your own.
THK Trials of life are the tests which ux
certain how much gold there is in us.
THK mercy of man is to bo just, the
justice of woman is to he merciful.
GENUINE politeness is the first-horn off
spring of generosity and modesty.
LITERATURE is a garden, books arc par
ticular views of it, and readers arc visi
THE intoxication of danger, like that of
the grape, shows us to others, but hides
us from ourselves.
HE submits himself to be seen through
a microscope who suffers himself to be
caught in a passion.
DELIBERATE with caution, but act with
decision, and yield with graciousncss, or
oppose with firmness.
TIIE best cough mixture: A suit of
warm clothing, mixed with plenty of air
and plenty of exercise.
WHY are crows tho most sensible of
birds?— Because they never complain
TF motives were always visible, men
would ofteu blush for their most bril
A WARNING.—It is said that the peo
ple who dine on colt steak arc subject to
" I know by a little what a great deal
means," as the gardncr said when he saw
the tip of a foxe's tail sticking out of a
PEOPLE who take cart loads of medi
cine every day, they imagine they are go
ing to be sick, are the fools upon whom
the quacks feed and fatten.
" I have an idea in my head," said a
noodle to his companion. " Have you ?
Then, keep it there —it may be some time
before you get another."
" I REPEAT," said a person of question
able veracity, " that I am an honest man."
" Yes—and how often will you have.to
repeat it before you believe it yourself?"
IT is said some babies are so small that
they can creep into quart measures. But
the way in which some adults can walk
into such measures is astonishing.
GOLD watches, guitars, pianos, looking
glasses beyond a certain size, and dogs arc
to be placed under schedule A, and taxed,
internally and eternally.
CHARLES LAMB'S opinion of water cure
is, that "it is neither new nor wonderful;
for it is as old as the deluge, when, in my
it killed more than it cured !"
PRENTICE tells the truth in a nut-shell
when he says we arc not fighting theSouth
crn States or any other States. We are
fighting the rebels. That's all.
A young man will compliment his
sweet-heart by telling her that her breath
has the perfume of roses without being
ashamed that his own has the stench of
whisky and tobacco.
"JOE, what makes your nose so red ?"
"Friendship! How do you "lake that
" I've got a friend who is very fond of
brandy, and as he is too weak to take it
strong, I've constituted myself his taster."
THE question has been asked why it is
considered impolite for gentlemen togo
into the presence of ladies in their ihirt
sleeves, whilst it is considered in every
way correct for the ladies themselves to
appear before gentlemen without any
" How old are you ?" said a judge to a
German arraigned before him. " I am
dirtj." " And how"old is your wife?"—
" Mine wife is dirty-too." '• Th6n, sir,
you are a very filthy couple, and I wish to
have nothing further -to do with either of
AN absurdity is anything advanced by
our opponents contrary to our own opin
ion or practice, or above our apprehension
—and therefore a term very liberally used,
it being applied in exact proportion to our
An Irishman in a Telegraph Office.
" An' is this House's telegraph ?" ask
ed a Hibernian the other day as he en
tered the office in the Traveler buildings.
On being informed that it was, a dialogue
ensued, of which the following is as near
as verbatim report as our reporter was able
Pat—ls Misther House in ?
Clerk—No. I attend to business here.
Pat—Och, do ye? Well can ye send
to mc brother Mick, in Now York ?
Clerk—Yes. Have you got your mes
sage written ?
Pat—o, bother! Divil a need of givin'
Mick a message in writin', at all at all.—
Jist give him this five dollar bill, sure,
for tu help pay tho fine the blackguards
put u|>ori him.
Clerk—But we cannot send money by
telegraph. Money must go by mail.
l'at—Shure but what 'nd 1 go hvy male
for? An isn't it three pecks of illcgant
nude 1 have in the house already?
Clerk—No. You don't understand. I
mean by" post.
Pat—Post is it ? In a lotther ? An'
ye can't send it by the telegraph ?
Clerk—No. All we can do is, if you
.have a message, we can send that. That
is, we can charge the wire with electrici
ty and make it write in New York what
ever you wish.
l'at— Make, it right, is it! Well, now,
be dad, that's tho thing finthirely. Just
make it right with Mick, and here's the
five dollars, avick !
Clerk (slightly vexed.) —Wo can do
nothing of the sort! I mean We write—
print the words you want to say to your
brother ill New York.
l'at— (scratching his head with a puz
zled heir) —If you can do that, just be af
ter discoorsin' wid him soon as ye like!
Clerk—But you must write the message
you wish to send upon this bit of paper.
Pat—Och ! bad luck to jt! I haven't
tho gift o' writin' at all, sure!
(Here the clerk arranges his paper, and
prepares to write the message for Pat him
Clerk—What's your brother's name ?
Clerk—And what is his other name?
Pat—Same its my own. Sure we're
Clerk—l know that. But what is he
Pat—What is lie called ? Oh
in the owld counthy they called him "Shil
lelah Mick," bccase of the mighty fine
taste he had atswingin' that bit of a twig;
and uany's the sconce lie cracked like an
old tea-pot, when—
Clerk (exasperated)—l don't "are what
they called him in Ireland. Give me his
other name. It is " Mick" what ?
Pat—Och, botheration, no! Mick
Watt is my cousin, as lives in the county-
Kerry, and been dead these five years—
heaven rest his sowl !
Clerk—Confound it! Can't you tell
me your brother's other name ? He has
one besides Michael hasn't he ?
l'at—O, yes! Sliurc why didn't ye
tell mc that's what ye wanted before—for
faith, as sure's my name is Pat Finncgan
you should have been towld the family
name of my ancesthers, begorra!
Clerk—Ah ! Finnegan's the name.
Pat—No, jewel— Mirk Finnegan. Div
il an R. Finnegan is there in the family,
savin' Rory. He is 'listed for a soger.
Clerk proceeds to write a message to
" Mick," as dictated by Pat, after which
he counts, the words in the dispatch, and
says: " Here are eighteen words. The
first will cost you forty cents, and the oth
ers twenty-four, making sixty-four cents
in all." v
Pat—o bother the first tin works! shure
Mick'll never miss 'em. Send the last.
Clerk—We can't do that. You must
pay after cents at any rate.
Pat—Sorru a bit can Ido that. Shure
ye may tell Mick that the r'ason of his
gittin' no message from me, was owin' to
the occasion of the money it cost, an'
that'll explain the rason of his not hearin'
from mc at all.
(Exit Pat anathematizing the " dirthy
wire machine of a tilegraph ;" and follow
ed by a not over friendly ejaculation from
the Clerk in attendance.) — Traveler.
DEATH OP A GREAT MAN.—Wheh a
great man dies, then has the time come
for putting us in mind that he was alive.
Biographies, sketches, criticisms, charac
ters, anecdotes, reminiscences, issue forth
ys from opened springing fountains; the
world, with a passion r. hotted by impossi
bility, will yet awhile retain, yet awhile
speak with, though only to the unanswer
ing echoes, what it has lost without reme
dy p thus is the last event of life often the
londest; and real spiritual apparations
(*ho have been named men), as false,im
aginary ones are fabled to do, vanish in
" Fine feathers make fine birds"—
except when applied with tar.
As a rule it maybe remarked, that noisy
women do much less than they seem to do,
and quiet women often do more. But it
does not follow that all quiet wumen are
active; on the contrary six out of ten are
indolent, and work only on compulsion.—
Indolent women have their good point*,
and one of the most valuable of these is
their quietness. It is a great luxury in
domestic life : but perhaps it is a luxury
which is too expensive for a poor man,
unless he can get it combined with activ
ity. The wife of a poor man, no matter
what his profession or position, ought to
be active in the best sense of the word.
Sheought to rule her house with diligenoe,
but make no boast of it. Iler managing
powers ought to bo confined to her own
house, and never be sent out to interfere
with her neighbors. Iler activity should
be kept healthy, by boing exercisod on
important matters chiefly, though tho tri
fles must not bo disregarded. A woman
who will make herself unhappy because
the usual custom of cleaning the house on
Friday is, on a particular occasion, inevi
tably infringed, is inadequate to perceive
the difference between the lesser and the
greater. Some active women, who pride
themselves on their housekeeping, seem
to forget that the object in keeping a house
is, that human beings may be accommo
dated in it; the Role idea seems to bethis,
that the object of keeping a house is that
tho house may be kept in a certain form
and order, and to the maintenance of this
form and order thoy sacrifice the comfort
the house was established to secure. Much '
active women are pests to society, because
they want sense to direct and control their
A 1 fkaHTy T'al'Oll.—After all, what
a capital, kindly, honest, jolly, glorious
thing a good laugh is? What a tonic!
What a digester! What an exerciser of
evil spirits! Better than a walk before
breakfast or a nap after dinner. How it
shuts tho mouth of malice, and opens flic
brow of kindness ! Whether it discover!,
the gums of infancy or age, tho grinders of
folly or the pearls of beauty; whether it
racks the sides and deforms tho counte
nance of vulgarity, or dimples the visage,
or moistens the eye of refinement in all its
phases; and on all faces, contorting, re
laxing, overwhelming, convulsing throw
ing the human form into the happy, shak
ing and quaking of idiocy, and turning
the human countenance intosomethingnp
propriatc to Bill Button's transformation
—undfir every circumstance and every
where, a laugh is a glorious thing. Like
a ''thing of beauty," it js a l: joy forever."
There is no remorse in it. It leaves
nothing—except in the sides, and that
goes off. Even a single, unparticipated
laugh is a great affair to witness. But it
is seldom single. It is more infectious
than scarlet fever. You cannot gravely
contemplatea laugh. If there isonc laugh
er, apd one witness, there are forthwith
two laughers. And so on. The convul
sion is propagated like sound. What a
thing it is when it becomes epidemic.
A KEEN ANSWER.—In the days of
Queen Elizabeth a scholar happened to
bo in disgrace with Iler Majesty, but
he managed to secure the good office*
of one who was in high favorat the Court, (
with a view to regain his position. The
time arrived when he was to be prcscntcjl
to the Queen again. " Well," said tho
Queen, ,- I understand you are a great
scholar. Shall I ask you one question ?"
" Anything madame,"said he, " that lies
within the compass of my understanding
to resolve you, I will." " Howmany vow
els are there?" said the Queen. " That,
your Majesty," replied the scholar, "is
ea«y known ; but as you have asked me
I must needs answer. Five." " Which
of these five could best bo spared ?"
"Not any of them, madams," replied he,
"without damaging the language."
" Then," retorted Her Majesty, " I will
tell you differently. We, for our part,
can best spare u" (you.)
ELOQUENCE ! —lt is a great pity that
the press cannot afford to Lave reporters
constantly in court to gather up and pre
serve the sweet gems of literature, that
often fall from the lips of lawyers in sum
ming up cases to the jury. One specimen :
"Gentlemen of the jury, if I stole that
watch, shouldn't I have carried it off in
my pocket; wouldn't you, gentlemen?—
wouldn't any consummate fool have done
so?"— Janesvillc Standard.
FIRST IMPRESSION OP A RAILROAD
Dr. Ruff, speaking of tho railroads that
have recently been constructed from Cal
cutta, says that some of tho old, incredu
lous Bra Wins in Bengal, when pursuad
ed to be eye-witnesses, have been seen
knocking their "foreheads in a sort of ago
ny, and exclaiming, as the mighty train
rolled swiftly along, that India himself,
their god of tho firmament, had no such
carriage as that.
tUT Instead of saying things to make
people stare and wonder, say what will
withhold them hereafter from wondering
and staring. This is philosophy :to make
remote things tangible, common things ex
tensively useful, useful things extensively
common, and to leave the least necessary
for the last. I have always a suspicion
of sonorous sentences.
JSrWhy is a man making love to a
married woman, like a sheriff levying on
the wrong man's goods ? Because he ia
the victim of a misplaced atrirhnmt.