E ThM 511 vOL xxXLI. 0141110001 OP COXIUMMA CO. ~ .0111100ir .341 werner.../Ael : Prentonge-1,1 WiMom BinlL t+ t A m0t A11r0 . ...,1 .. Derr, iit . "ignier - ". .., r toter K. llorbein. ! tin kotAtiill% l l VAC tia—Jease Coleman gulamx er—* Ohrt Ot. Vltatt. . 4 John F. Fowler Commissioners— Montgomery Cole. { David Yeager, ShoritT—lVlorleeni Millard. Treasurer—Jacob lobe. L. B Rupert, it uditara— John P. Damian. 1 Jacob Barris. Commismiener's Clerk—Wm. Kriel:lmmo. Comminlioneen Attorney—E. 11. Little. Marcia Appraiser—W. 11. Jacoby. Conn wryer--Istm A. 1 h , wi ti. District At troney—Milton M. Trough. Coroner— William J. Meier. Count!. Soperintentlem—Cino. G. Barkley, AtNesort• interim! Revenue—E. P. Clink. John Thomas, AviAnnt Anstonor-- i.ll. Mier, Daniel Mel I enry. Colleetor—lienlimin F. Batman. Dloolisburg NotNal School and ',heron* inoteltute. HOARD OF IN: 4 II{UVriON. HENRY LURVEII, A. M., Priii,Zild, Professor of intellectual and 3ioral and Theory and Practice of 'ft:aching. Miss Sarah A. Carver, Preo.ptress, Teacher of French, Botany and Ornamental Branches. Dane O. Best, A. 8., Professor of Ancillit Languages and Eng lish I;r:unman J. W. Ferree, A. M., ProftwNor of Mathematic* and Practical Astronomy, Rev. David C. John, A. M., Profer of Chemistry and Phpici. I'. M. Bates, Teacher of C;cography, History and Book. keeping. James Brown, A.4..tant Teacher of 3lathenuttics and Eng lish Grammar. Milts Alice M. Carver, 'Poacher of Muoie on Piano and .Melodeon. Airs. Hattie L. Best, Teacher of Viand 3111..ie, and Asai,t. Teach. er of instrumental Music, Mi,s Julia I; nest, Teacher of Mould School. The Winter term will commence Novem ber 21, Imtis, and until our Boarding Hail Iu ready f4r occupancy, on application to th e Principal, bt1.1111.11t 9 will be furnished with homes in pleasant famine-. It is better for students to commence at the opening of the term ; but when Bib. is impracticable, they can enter at any tittle. NATION U. POW:IDR Y. (0 04 br'; t ttl.ooJl , 3lt 110 c. 2. A. t r k , rr i k. p utit,let, I,w, 4 14,1 4 , pas .14 1 1 .14. $101,,,h tit. kireparea to ter e ruder.,. Kiodi tt4 ”ar for rollerles, Blast F0r0.0 , 0. b't ionury , i,;“ 1.47, Ile is also prspdroil to troika dtere, on .ita, e and pattern*. piow•ii ono. and every, now asedili 1410,6 in 4aolass ennoilrios. 1101 extdosive rambles and niartiaai Mn: bairn, war toot in rec.ivina ibrr largest contracts oo 10.. t reanonoble 101 , 11 V. Grain oriel kinds will be taken in elan:mar for raGioss. This eidablishoood is lorti.sil near the l•ockown , na R Bloomsburg Railroad Depot, Pinta V KR Bloomsburg, Sept. IN. tr 43. OMNIBUS LINE. TRIG intilergivwd would respectfully announce to the citizens of Bloomsburg, and the public gem entity, that he is running an ()MINIBUS LINE, be twee(' thin since and the dir.- recent Rail Road Heirits MIL ~ 40 ; s t ....git t e,•• Sy, 0 1 1turtiftee Hlerputd) to connect with the several Trains 'Atte South a Wert on the Catitwissa and Williamsport Rail Road, and with those going North and South on the hack. & Illoomobtirg Road, Ills OMINIBUSsES are in good condition, comma dines and comfortable, and charges reasonable. 07* Persons wishing to meet or see ti”'if friend". &pit& can ho Amin Mad nted upon teasotmble charges. by leaving timely notice at any of the tele, JACOB L. GIRTON. Pruprionr, Bloomsburg, April Y?. lAti4. NEW OYSTER SALOON, ' . :,..10,,t 1 he holotoont of tho 4 4: 1 " la Ti rtat 1 l ibia la riliglZl2l:, BILTIER LEACOCK, SUPT. Fresh Oyeiers ',erred up in every vie and at all heure ; all the other "Game" found in tirst Giaes fieininrante. SA Ale co n randy nn hand, together q ith choice Liquors a ovary britrd. everything in tip too order Minot this Saloon, liiiwilyhon not tolerated. titt) in and And my %loon in Mean nimt radar. Ploonishurg, N0v.13,167. Coopering ! Coap ring Tile.telhoet liter reop ttfetts anneunceo that he to prepared to mattoructure BARRELS, TUBS, BUCKETS, CHURNS V and avorpthing in the lino of (Unroofing. REPAIRING DONE TO ORDER and at thud notion. Ili'" ii is ',hop is loon( gl on Main eltreet, Bloomaborp, firilf t h e Iron Company's PMlrond, M. S. W lAAAMS. Bloomiinng. April :111. ifs 't 4 WAY *ARltelt 51110,4 The undetingned swarth/11y annottneert that he has retuned it shop, one duos, {WNW Mayor's , Drug thtore , to the Ritehallo Mock. where he is preptred ta withal the barbering bustm so In all its branches . The net of coloring whiskers and moustaches to practiced by him most skillfully. tie also deans clothing, making them look nearly us geodes new, upon the roost reasonable terms. MmHg procured the services of a fashemable hair dresser he is pr • pared in Vieit,familles in cases where it is (MOW) to put up or out httlf 1/11011 feW3ollloll‘ temp, ‘rffr lieu Toole of thc very best quality, usrd for rimming heir, kept atinst.ntly on heed, eager MOO, 0. V. COLLINS. hinonisburg , April 1, 1800, FALL AND IVINTEIII. Millinary Goods At the Riney More of' AMANDA WERKEETSER, (vocipopt To MARY TATUM) to 111.00MH11URII, PA. The pubWcalliit tharentroully informed that they can ha lienielnag iMl t b. avevytioint In thenee ors the innit ressannthin temp, nod in anode not ur psoped for myth, Wanly or durnbility in thin own, Pet Aiming Myles of hata, 4.111:4 ir tidoo fot, Mut Mlomee wear, nru ROllllllOll ode' s' eslithielitd mil the Wee of the most oteilinue. Pres Melting rail terrine onneini intention. lininlird Marina now thu her 'pole are 11. GIVILhOr a TAN titotel On Main met ( n - wi t ide) Wow Marko; anatre, i!nnor ... . - . B LOOM SB IT liG , i. i 11 1 t)issimi.'-f . 1•71 lwl • 11 i •'^ • -. , , • !.. . 1 4. , ~A,, . . • ~....,_. litoontsburg gentetrat I'ERMIA,—.I 00 in admen. If not paid within MX MONTHS, Wit rent» additional will lota arvrd. Nopapor diarouttulied until all an order 310 paid except at noon of the pditor RATEA op AloVliliTistNti. iv* uNvo lIINATITIMA A "WARS. Ono liquaro olio or tfirve invorliolso Every auhueiprout insertion lepo 1101013.. Ppm*, 11 , 1 Um. 3,i, Olaf. Iv One oquoyo, h.hu I 3 001 4,00 00 10 00 Two opoiree, 3,1/6 oil 1 0,00 ft ft It iv Tit riw 1100 I 1.00 I Vao.l 1",00 IS,IIII Poor ivioorl.4, 1, 1 .0 6,001 I 10,00 114 !Hi you, °kiwi. 10 00 1%1 00 1 14,110 1 1$ 00 :10,00 00e rot 0010. 15.00 1. 00 :WV uo Ev.enior's and Adndnistrntoes Notice. lOn dont oor'm .„. . ... .... fitiwr ndvertiv'tonnt ft in AO rte 4 according to hpettidi rnotta 1 11 1 , 410'.. INOtireS, without Advert 'gement, twenty, Cent. pet title, Tiotti,ient mivertigeineote eornide fu mfg mica, MI other* Mo. once the first IttituMow. nu going home, my titer, the tatminons !war, I am retnly and waiting. AA the time draw ctit nettr, The angel, are *round me, they beckon ma I'm ping home, my biAer, I'm soon going hoom• Vet not to my how in the obi 'Greenwood' Where the odor of flowers the ntutosithere Wher e the robin.: are zilleinor, in the old m ann' trees. Awl their lad tenig , of twimer float away on the brow. Jly 414 Imml.t. linty I loved it, with my Ft' Itrnt* ao 11+%.r, IVA 111.1 At., and my siatet U ho.r. For the love if him elk, who calls me his wife, 'Vouhl I've left the old home:Acta, the joy of my lilt. O f home of thy childhood, I will see it no more, So youtot, yet toy lire-dreams all soon will be o'er, For di-en in hetirt-whi-ners, I Lear the word eetoe , Away to titiother m !walnut/1 !waln lime; \\*ln•re the Bowers are 'blooming, but never will rob, Otero tatttrts flptlit i. glowing, but never a ii ,t: t. !) • it) It rtte.y ritr!, •1 .utt glut .. . • •t • •nti t.; • t. 71-.1 111 y p!\ 0 , 1 tww nra,t dc- fhe :ti +:f,.:. ,' ' ait, •- , '. a 'rt,utt<i "•,: •i'' , 1 1„e:', you it; . 'wine "dit•.t, ••:h as 1i: c•-11 vr.l WI is that 1- ut Id t y..teb‘r —the One dat...ing wiCt 1., :it. ? Ito :'et! knew her, Pau' r Toe young man aiblee.seil it 4 P a n; r a k e d his. eye gle , s and look.l long and steadily at the yearn: -id and r plieJ : "That is Mira Swan, the Marble. Hearted." "Why do you call her the 'marl& hear ted? It stems a giange name to bestow upon a beautiful woman." "Yes it is a strange name, but very ap propriate for yonder lady, who as the story goes, is like the ieelsags of the Polar Sea." "I do net'ont t ion on the fitness of the name ; I only ask why it was givenher. She is by far the most beautiful girl in the room. " 1I antical," replied Paul, "but as heat floss as she is pretty. She has had ball the gentlemen in the room at her feet, but treats them all alike," said Paul bitterly. lie had been among the rejected. "`;lte is heartless, and it is a great mystery to us Warren flagon smiled and said : "Please introduce me, Paul. 1 like her appearance, but I am a stranger to all present. Tun years in foreign lands render:, one a gran ger here." "1 will introduce you with pleasure--but I caution you, and kindly telmonldt you against loving her, fiw remember, she is marble, and your heart will have to pay 14 it if you dm "head on hint ; you hare cautioned me of my danger, and I still remember the °ill adage, 'Forewarned is forearmed. I am not ahoy, Paul, to break my heart liar a woman." "Boys' hearts often bend where wens' break," ;,yid nod. Mira Swan wa. pretty, and an only daugh ter. Her :light, rounded Fwin was perfcct in its symmetry. Her small mouth, with even white toeth, half seen when her rw,y lips dimpled into smiles ; her rich black hair which rim ded over a broad white brow, was looped up from her thee, awl fastened at the hack in a ina.:s ofshining cm), and gave a rery beautiful effect to her alive irtutee.— She was al , o very prettily dress e d, being at tired in crimson silk with an overdress or rich black lace fastened at the neck with scarlet geranium blossoms—a cluster of the same gleaming in her hair. Mira cared more fur buds and blossoms than for pearls and diamonds. She was gay and brilliant, yet when any of her lovers whispered of the "grand passion" she would be a very queen in her haughty self possesion• Warren flagon was introduced, and was soon floating with her through the intricate 1111121 N of the dance. He paid her the most assiduous attentions throughout the even ing. Mira knew him by report to boa gen tleman of unbounded wealth and extensive travel. In his company, its the hours swept swiftly by, her interest deepened nil the PUBLIAIIRD EVIKRY WM/NEM/AY IN 111,0031511111111, VA., BY WILLIAMSON 11. JAI'OIIIT. Purl Tin; DrmortuT. The Beautiful Botue. IIY BLOOMSBURG, PA., WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 11,1868. while in her noble admirer. Her young heart beat it it had never done before. Warren Dagon war► a brilliant conversa tionalist, and few men could be more flosein ming than he, for be had traveled extensive ly in his own and foreign lands, and when he chose to exert himself to please, his dark eloquent eyes, pure elnesie language and high-bred elegance of manners were irresist ibly charming. He evidently desired to ',lease Mira, as his manner towards her im plied as much. Mira listened spell•boound io his beautiful conversation, thereby awaking the jealous indignation of a dozen other less fortunate admirers. They felt themselves aggrieved, tor she always treated them with such cool indifferenee. One lady, resplendent in bro cade and di+►mends, !material through hot• teeth. "Thu marble-hcarted is warming at last," Si 611 Mira cared little f'or mindratinn and 1,--• for the opinion of her la,hionable friend... , freely expressed. She was wtil.in.• in ,le• cool Otero in the moo tt f o lo w j , o : •.. n r.- Httuou, ii-tening to Iti. tan-i.•.. 1 ‘..i• ••. %.1,... • low. sweet tones were • tit rine. :: Aran •i.• wild melody in a heart that 11.. V, i' Iwr , i , • vibrated with love. She was listerinz to the thrill ing description of Ihitne,,the Eternal City. enshrined on her seven hills. lie delinea ted with an artist's endued:Eon, her , 'rand old marbles and intspircd painting-. over which the dust and decay of aerg rost like the gray shroud on the bosom of tits dead . In elegant latumige he ile , eribed the won der , : of ditten I. rid eil Penn itii. lie !deter ed the tent;;:., theatres and dwellings, where lived and loved the 'ample of tw o thousand years mro. Ile told her in plow ing Lowe:tint, of the graeefal minarets, fienlwry palms and grand anal olenut pyra. nsiti, and while listening she seemed to scale with hint the danyerou , pa. , c. of the Alps and stood in breath!, ... a w e h, aping up the dizzy heights crown-. 1 with ice and snow. And in imagination she wandered down the golden Nile and admired the rich beauty of its fertile valleys, rendered ghtri mly Leantiftd by its frequent inundations. His voice took a deeper and sweeter tone when he dosenibed the ruined cities of the far East, the fretted arches and vast cathe dral aisles of the Old World made grand by the work of art, and rainbow painted win dow.. who.e artists dying left immortal'. names behind them, way-marks for totem gifted spirit , , who are destined to follow t lit IH dews the broad aisle orcomilw ages. I She drank in the tittles of his softly twain- , fated voice, taking no note of time. When I tipper was announced lie led her to the tabl••. Inning the repast she wa.clal bite i .rrowly, and when Wale was served het 1 fa•• • becalm , pale with ev itement. Site of 1 fer..l hint a glass with a smile ; he pre her 1 a ;q.,trvhilik look and refused it, eallitez fa water in its stead. Tinniny! to her he sai•l : "1 cannot pledge you in wine for 1 do not drink it; but with this gl=ass of water, Na ture's purest bevel -a .: . i ,le IA to you.— ; May love and happint•ss be your portion in " life.' "Thank you." It was all Ate said, but a ' bright smile rewarded hint better titan words. ilira had inlet] met her affinity. Love budded in their hearts that night, and ere the year had passed it blossomed intk, a hymenial wreath. It was moonlight upon the 1 hatnn. The home t.o which Warren l)agon took his young bride was beautifid with vines and summer blossoms. lie and Mira were walk ing arm in arm on the cool l iurta, convers ing of the past and dreaming bright dreams of die future—lung years to come, moulted with carthlyhappinea. "I never could comprehend the reason that your friends called you marble-hearted. You wore never cold to me, darling,' said he, drawing her down to a seat by his sid e . "It is a sad story dear limliand; Lit us sit here in the moonlight and 1 will tell you of my fide young sister who died three years ago. I shall never again meet a spirit like hers, so proud, so pure and free. Elsie was but seventeen ashen she gave her heart to Atwell Chandler. He loved the wine cup better. lie was no ordinary mum many and rich were the gifts bestowed upon him by nature. lie was a dad, haired man, with eyes of rare depth and fee:ihg. Ile was very handsome ; in manner he was gentle manly and pleasing. We all loved him ; Either loved him like a son, and so gave hint Elsie. They were married and went to dwell in his beautiful home in the South, and thr a tow years they were very happy. "Then Atwell began to neglect his busi ness for at downward path which ended in a drunkard's grave. Five years from her bri dal day Elsie lama home a heart broken wid ow; still young, but broken-hearted. At well died by his own hand, for they found hint in the summer house with his brains blown out by a pistol shot; and my deur beautiful sister came to her girlhood's home broken hearted— came home to die. "It was just such a night US this, a beau tiful night in midsummer, when Elsie died. She lay upon her pillow looking so white and fair. She wits so perfectly calu► ;no fear of death thrilled her pure spirit ; her Mee would have charmed n Raphael, it was so spiritual in its ohildliko beauty. If the angels on the other shore are fairer than wan Elsie in her dying hour, then indeed will heaven be glorious in its brightness. I knew that she was dying, for I saw the hue of death steal over the features. Her bright eyes wore growing dim to earthly sight, yet they had a strange inward light, us though her . spirit had penetrated the gloom of the immortal day which shines with eternal summers in the city of our God. As 1 stood by her bedside moisten. ing her lips with water and wiping thee old dew of death from her Ihrehead, her long silken eye-lashes were lifted fur a moment, and fixing her eyes upon me with an expres sion of earnestness and tenderness, she said: a. "Mira, sister, this is death. My weary feet aro even now treading the brink of the river that rolls between the other world and this. Ido not fear to die, 'tis joy unutteras ble to know that lum almost home. Poor Atwell! I shall soon meet him again. 'rite morning of his life was very fair, giving promiso of a lung and useful day ; but his stet went down in the meridian, and his own hand hastened its untimely suttiag. I trust I may find him in the land to which I am going. Mira, prottib.o rue that, you will Ili,VOr marry a man who is not strietly tem perate, liir intent ieranee is the foundation of misery. Think how many bright homes are made tle:iolate by it: Fathers and !milit ias down itt sorrow to the grave, and and lit, ellitdreo me made to starer !;, , 10:itit by ioteteperanee. 0, Mir% I e , ,,:dd Cor at bi r hal o you die now yoor ltetlrt pure and free froth sor row, than have you live:mil, in the long years to come, find misery and woe in a drunk. aril's home. Remember pour Atwell, and f,romise what I wish . "l promise, and may heaven help me to keep my secret," I replied. She smiled and whivered. '`l am going to .detT ; dear sister." It was a very Meg ;loud night to me, !Or ere the rising of the nio nine star, Elsie, my beautiful sister, had ,a . atie, to meet her God,'' "There was not WIC all my eirele of Mewl- and minaimances who reftbed wine is tlw lcstisc balls, and many °ldiom int bibl' freely of l‘tronger rtimulards. I turn ed voldly from them all. There was noth io attract my love, and I could not mar ry any one of tbk:in and keep my promise to Ekie. 1 kept my piontimi sacredly unbrok en, and my coldness to all who whi6pered of lw.e. won for me the name of 'marble !ga ted.' 4 11111 came, darling," he aid, drawing her 11,,irer to hi, ho con. "Yes till you came; and though I loved you 11.ntrly, had you drank that glass of wine 1 tihould pare refused to marry you. Olt, Warren ! you can tie% or know what unutter able joy I experienced when you refused the cup I offered y o u." * - .lfay ltow.en and the spirit of your sweet sister help we to be mouthy of your love, 14 I t was the happiest hour of thy life, when I met with Mira, the "tharbledtearted,''" said lte ,titling. ~Y es, it ~ ; , 1 s hour, and I know by the swUet C4'iti ormy heart to tii:ht that the spirit of Ekie upon me for having so faithfully kept toy pionti..c." tloy'S Comprtsition on Corns. Owns are of two kinds. Vegetable corns grow in rows, and animal cern , crow on toes. Thole are several kinds ofcorns; there is unicorn, CUie rn, corn-dnri 4 , field corn and corn, which is the kind you fool the most. It is said I be!i ve that gopher, like corn, but a persou having corns does not like to “go far." If he can help it. Corns have kernels and many colonels have corns. Vegetable corn grows ou ears, but animal (-an grows on the feet at the other cud of the hoelywo*Another kiwi of corn is acorn; these grow on oaks, but them is no hoax about the corn. The acorn is a corn with an indefinite article, but the toe corn is a very definite article indeed. Try it and see, Many a man, when he has a corn, wishes it was an acorn. Folks that have corns some• times send I; , r a, doctor, and if the doctor' himself is corned he won't probably do so well as if be isn't. The doctors say that corns arc ',maimed by tight boots or shoes, whieh is probably the reason why when a man is tight they say ha is enraed, a , farmer manages well he can get a good deal of corn on one acre, but I know of a former that has one coin that makes the biggest ;teller on his form. The bigger the crop of vegetable corn a 1011 n raises the better he likes it, but the bigger the crop of animal coin he raises the better he don't like it. Another kind of corn is earn dodger. The way it is made is very simple and is 11111,d0 as follows (that is if you want to know):— You go along the street and meet a man that you know has corns and is a rough character; then you step on the toe that has the corn on it and sea if you won't have occasion to dodge. In that way you will find out what a corn dodger is. "Mtn did you come hero after?" in quire(' 3liss Susan Draper ot' a bachelor friend, who made her a cull when the rest of the family had gone out. "I some AO burrow some matches," he meekly replied. "31atches ! that is a likely story. Why don't you make a match? I know what you same thr," exclaimed the delighted maiden, as she crowded the old bachelor into a cor• nor ; "you come to pop the question ; but you shan't du it unless you can out run me, and I know you can I" =I ...A lady being asked for a recipe for whooping cough, for little twin patients, copied by mistake something referring to the piekling of onions, which said: If not too young, skin them pretty closely; im- IMMO in madding water ; sprinkle plentifully with salt, and leave them for a week in strong brine." ...Indians in Omaha wear paper collars fastened with a shoestring, because they have no garment on which to button them. A Snake In the Grans. BY JOHN O. SAXE Come, listen awhile to me, my lad, Come, listen to me a spell, Let that terrible drum For a moment be dumb, For your uncle is going to tell What befell A youth who loved liquor too well. A clever young man was he, my lad, And with beauty uncommonly blessed, Ere with brandy and wine . ile began to decline, And behaved like a person possessed; I p rute-t The temperance plan is the best. One evening he went to the tavern, my lad, Ile went to the tavern one night, And drinking WO R 311 , / The Ong) got exeeekikugly "tigitt," And vro,. quite What your aunt Would entitle a “Irtght." The ibliow fell into a snooze, my lad; 'l'm a horrible Amber he takes-- lie troubles with fear, And act:, very . ,ineer ; My eyes! how he ,I•htt el,and : , bakes hen he wakes, And raves about great horrid ,uiko,! 'Ti 4 a warning to you moil to hie, my lad, A partivular vamiun to ell-- l'hougli no fin eau see , The viper but be— To,hear the poor ItuntGe howl. l I OW they crawl All over the floor and the wall!" The next tuorning he took to hip bed, my lad, Next morning lie teak to his bed, And he never got up To dine or to sup, Though properly phydekol and bled; And I read, Next day the poor fellow UM dead. You've heard of the snake in the grass, my lad, Of the viper concealed in the grass; But now you mug kno;v Man's deadliest !he Is a snake of a ditfCmat class ; Ald4! 'Tis the viper that lurks in the glass. Tito Grvrian Ecitd. To the Editor or the Louisville Courin: May has got it; the l'aAionable cum. ture ol thespine, ealled the "Grecian Bend." She caught it at Saratoga, whore she has been on exhibition daring the season. She has returned, however, bringing with her ..everal large trunks full or second hand clothing—that is garments, which bite has worn once. A. I was passing by a dry !matt.; store on Fourth street, Mary ,Jane was pitching ter ward at mich a rate 1 thought she was about f:+11 into my arms. I held out those int pletocnts of holuAry accordingly. She fall worth a ent. Regarding not the example set by our first parents, she maintained her curvilinear thrtn, and plac ing the tip of a gloved forefinger on my outstretched palm, :.,he ?aid in a fitAionable drawl of a cursed Filth Avenoodle. ".kw, Yubah, it is you? Deloited." She picked up the infiirmil accent and language at Saratoga also. —Why, Jennie dear, this is ati unexpected pleasure. (till-ailing both the little hands and riling them up together.) I was not looking fur you tiir some weeks. You are ill. lam sorry. Shull 1 assist you to your carriage?" She looked somewhat like the half of a liarenthc:is, but more like an interrogation point. I was certain ph had been eating unripe fruit, arid was suffering from cramp colic, and wondered why she did not go home and take sinnethirq. But she said: "Neci;aw was IA tialV in my toile. I was faweed to leave that sweet. Olive because I had nothing absolutely to weaw." "Nothing to wear ! Why, what has be come of all your clothes? Did you have a tire or did yin exchange them for flower vases and plaster of Paris statues of the maim les ?" "flaw stupid ! I had wan all my dresses once, and it's nawt the stoyle to uppeah in the same apiiawral twoiee." "Confound the style ! But I ant glad you carne home, it you came almost naked and so changed that it is difficult to realize that it is you. You are among friends now, awl I hope that you will shortly recover your figure." She was marl, and expressed herself quite naturally and intelligently as follows : "Friends! I suppose it is the chief duty of one's friends to find fault with one. I declare I am tired of friends, and of this little provincial town where the primitive manners and styles of the back woods still prevail. If one goes for a while intosgood society abroad and returns somewhat civil ized, ono is sure to incur the jeers and ridii Dole of the barbarians here. Good morning." Saying which, he dived into another dry goods trap, and was soon engaged in tumb ling and :let:piling the figihionable fabrics of the hour. I never saw such a change in a person in a few short weeks. When I parted with her at the depot a few short weeks ago, she was the very picture of health and personi fication of physical beauty. title was natural and unaffected, and as tenderly demonstra tive as she well could ho in a crowd compotr ed of puiefiestiiitis, who, instead of attend ing to his business and baggage, thought it was necessary to Noe me and Mary Ana safely deposited on the train. It is my belief that the old gentlemen was afraid that I would secrete myself somewhere in the car. I wish now I had. The energy with which Mary Jane attacked the dry goods convinced me that 1 wav wrong in Iriy green fruit supposition, and that she was suffering from something be yond the reach of peppermint. I naturally concluded that it must be that terrible dis ease known as the spinal complaint, brought on by carrying too heavy panniers and sup porting long trails. I forthwith diligently consulted all the medical works which treat of' that ailment, and accumulated all the in formation on the 14000, that I could, by questioning, extract from the medical pro fession. With a mind stored with useful knowledge, and a heart overflowing with affection, I called to see the little sufferer with the intention of' imparting to her gopdly quantity of both. .She tame into the parlor looking as though she bad been crimped with curling tongs.— flow I pitied her. A few \VVek3lir:, she was as straight as an arrow, and a natural smile !dived around her los:dmil mouth, in. stead of that eon ‘trained pucker of pain, as I then supposed. "How do you feel now, Jennie dear?" I said. in my most soothing tones. "Why, I feel good of eeer.p. (the could nowt 11.01 otherivi arum having eujawed the wataw and ~,o eietaw of : . .arateemy." "I (choir: your fortitude. Jeenic, almost ON m u ch as I deplore your inislbrtutie, but you may as well look the di ago.eable filet in the race at once. is the only way to obviate it. I assure you it is not so very bad after all. The doctors say it can be cured, or so nearly so that with judicious dressing it will never be noticed. You know, Jennie, that it will make no differ ends with me. As long as your heart re mains the same, no other change can influ emir "What are you talking about? Don't understand you, paresitively." "Don't be a goose, Mary Jane," (angrily) "I know that women always. deny that any thing ails them. They think it is smart.— But your can't conceal your complaint, anti considering, our present relations I don't think you ought to conceal anything from me." Mary Jane was getting mad. She has a vein in her I!)rehead which is an unerring temper barometer. It began to swell. That, and an ominous glittering of the eyes, said as plainly as an almanac, look out for squalls about Ilk time. She said enor,_etia►lly: "My complaint ! Our present relations ! Conceal nothing from you! Perhavi you wilil be good enough to explain yourself, that is, it' you can." My temper is not angelic. I never set up for a saint, and Mary Jane's perversity or obstinacy, added in her manner, did not make me in heavenly n frame of mind, so I blurred out my sentiments as follows : "Y ~u have a curvature of the spine, as every one that sees you must know. You have it very badly, and you ought to do something for it.. Do, for heaven's sake send for a doctor and get straight." You should have seen the little hump back cuss then. She walked the floor as erect as a liberty polo. She smiled sardon ically. She laughed hysterrically. Finally she cried womanly, and then she found her tongue—her native tongue. No New York drawl now, but each word as sharp and in cisive as a cambric needle. "Curvature of the spina. Ha! ba! spine, ha, spine," tin a perfect shriek.) "0, you provoking fool—there ! I just wish I was a man for a few minutes!" "I wish you was a sensible woman." "Sense ! Well I admire to bear a booby —that can't tell the Grecian Bend from the spinal eoluilaint—talk about sell "Grecian fiddle stick. You don't say that that awful crook which you had in your back was the Grecian MIA [a.,:attaing the florin or a rainbow again.) No lady desires to look like a ramrod. All the belles of New York stoop gracefUlly, and leave Ftill - and straight liue6 to chawbermaids and country folks." "f suppoA , it was also from New York ops and belles that you loarned the art of alking as though your mouth was full of hot mush." Don't you talk about talking. You wl.a never leave Loui-ville, think its provincial ism comproniki the proper language, but it i s tho ling o f your te.gro nurom 1 cannot stand it, I never Want to hear any mom o r it. It is my desire that our acquaintanee even should terminate with this interview." And the sailed out of the room. I don't suppose it is any use to speculate upon the humiliating spectacle to which love ly women may yet be reduced by fashion. lam convinced that their fate depends en tirely upon the whims and caprices of the fashion-mongers or Paris. The ladies have never given U 3 any evidence of their desire to avoid the ridiculous absurd dictates of fashion is, the more eagerly and implicity her devoteem follow her. No consideratioas of heat or of cold, of propriety, of affection of comfort, or of anything else, can divert them from the prevailing stylo. If the Grecian Bend follows the natural law of fashion, it will gut worse and worse, and it will not be long until we see our sweet-hearts with their heads hanging down like howling devises. I have taken the porcelain picture of Mary Jane out of its velvet ease, and that pretty casket is now vacant. Ber which is supposed to be engraved upon this b eat i ng h ear t, haa O i led out, or is grown over with fht. I have determind never to marry a woman with hor back up. Others may do as they please, but if Ido take a wife; I shall take her as I do my Boor• bon—straight. /NBA, NUMBER 38• ♦lt Sorts of Items. ...It is said a life of President 'Johnson is being written by Mrs. Ann S. Stephens. ...In Milwaukee they call farness makers . 'horse ...A boy in Maine recently set fire to a barn in order to break up a setting hen. ...Three young ladies rnn a foot race at an lowa fair. ...Mr. GolLghtly saye he likes men of spirit. Moist or his acquaintances are bar tender,. ...The chief end of man in his head. It is sometimes not au over-creditable end to reach. ...The reason why conscience doesn't trouble some men is—they haven't got any. It don't run in some &males at all. ...About the only person that we evor heard ui that wasn't spoiled by being lion ized was a Jew named ...Let a youth who stands at a bar with a glass of liquor in his land consider which he had better throw away—the liquor or himself. ...I'rentiee says there are at least forty lladiesl members of Congress who could yield their places to "the forty thieves" without disadvantage to the country. ...Brigham Young thinks he has succeed ed in giving his theatre a "sacred charac ter," but regrets that boys will whistle in the gallery, ...A western editor describes the scene at a popular lecture thus: "Three thousand ladies were hanging on the lips of one man." A pretty strong now that I ..."3ly son, hold up your head and tell me who was the strongest man?" "Jo nah." "Why so ?" "Cause the whale couldn't hold him after he got him down." ...Several families who have spent the summer at Dumbarton, New Hampshire, tenmined to admire the woods in autumn, and on Saturday last took a sleigh-ride, and had a merry time. ...Sambo Lad been whipped for stealing his master's onions. One day he brought in a skunk in his arms and said : Massa, hero's de chap dat steals de onions! Whow —smell Lim bref 1" —"Charley, I was very much shocked to hear you singing 'Pup goes the Weasel' in church." "Well, mamma, I heard every body else singing, and it was the only tune I know," ...Never faint when you are alone. Al ways select some good opportunity—or young man. The more persons there are about you, the more successful will be your 6t. A woman should not only Nut well, but be above suspicion. ...A little girl of three years was saying her prayers nut long since, when her little brother, about four years old, came slyly up behind and pulled her hair. Without mov ing her head she paused, and said: "Please, Lord, excuse me a minute, while 1 lick If erby. " ...A physician was called to see a man in this town the other day, who on being asked it he hadn't taken something strange into his stomach, replied that he believed ho had "it must have been that glass of water. Haven't been so imprudent, doctor, for ten years." ...A Indy whose fondness for generous living had given her a flushed face and car bunoled nose, consulted Dr. Cheyne. Upon surveying herself in the glass she exclaim ed, "%S here in the name of wonder, doctor s did I get such a nose?" "Out of the de canter, madam," replied the doctor. ...The fires in the Oregon woods are a double calamity. Besides the destruction of property, they drive the wild beasts into the t.ettleuient3, where they commit great ravages. "rF MAT'S ALL, 1117 tr."—Close to the Center Oil company thore lives an old chap who is worth a mint. Ignoraut, of course, dumb luck has made him rich. lljs amuse hold pots consist of a terrier dog and stupid daughter, both of whom engago his atten tion. The former provided for, he deter mined to "accomplish" his daughter. To this end he came to the city. De bought a piano, and a harp, and a guitar, a car load of music books, etc., Culling up his busi ness by engaging a first-eh:A.3 intellectual and musical tutor, with all of which he started for the "regions." The documents were, of course, soon arranged for business. The tutor set to work anti toiled like a Tro jan, but with no sueeeis. Despairing ulti mate triumph, the tutor went to the oil king and made a clean breast of it. "Why what the world's the matter?" asked the iiitha. “Welt,” I the tutor, "Kitty has got the g 0.4.611, music and books, and all that, h.., e,,oseity —.that's all" by 0.,. I re." erietl the "it' that's ad, ju.s, bay it. rye got the stuff, and if money will get it, she shall have capacity or anytholg 1!:111=91=:1111111111111 Aorten TO YOUNG Diem.--Let tlis hu.i • twos or every one alone, and attend to your own. Don't buy what you don't want. i3so every boar to advantage, and study to make a loit.nro hour puotot Think twice before you spend a dollar ; retuetaligt you will have another to MAO fox , lAA over your books regularly, ad if nu. find an error trace it out, Should o si4ll'n of misfortune come upon you in your buAness, retronah t work hater, but never fly the track. Con front difficulties with unflinching power. &nee, and they will fly at last; then you win be honored; but ahriuk, and you will be despised, _"
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers