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VOL
XXXII.
Vloatusintrg Mtl
mouliwp EvErty WEDNE4n %T. tx
DEOCINSEURtI, PA., BY
WILLMINIMII. JAWORT.
Tuttwx—stertrinven.•, tfiviiN paid within
1111 X MONTIIe. be (vela iddittionnl will he charged.
rine0f 11 ) 1 9 1 11114 Willil 011 istreanisev
hAtr i reVitple:4lotloWof the editor. 7
Wl* 4 :RiAliintaTi REIM
~ ... ..a _
1 a tiger morn ' 4 M „ AIO ,
On. Immo oiw or three faagettiatia $1 50
Every etthwteent Ingeglidgitgglo i00015........,..50
MCC IL glito 3*. Os, IY,
,
Ogilloitmti ; Lao 3 (10 I 4.001 COD 110 09
Two 44414164, 3,0 n 00 i 6,t4 I 1400 I 1.1 00
'Three •• , 11,00 7, 5. 00 $.401 1 'Jo I K ilo
Tolivitquagen, Ali e.OO 10,eo 1 i & 00 100 00
itilrerdliiiO4,, 1 Oo 13%00 14.00 I ii. On 1 :4 00
00,00i1POli. 1 'OO ^lti*.oo 00.110 IWA j 50,00
~.. , .
I'ES ;nand. Adanainflator's Nouns. .. • . tatal
.40t Vitt I t • .
emstatotne ... .
anrthemen to lose rted *Nordin hflOpecinl
OUlPinogo untlree. without advertisement, twenty.
ce.iit Per ne.
Thittstent advertisements payable in ad% Mite all
raker, doe atter I hi: At* ilfoortonot.
rttntold in OGive's Uto,k SI lin AMY', by
FRANK It. t3N VIM
I
"T ietif Olt
aY .7011,1 VILL.
There wag n n►an named Furgu3on,
Ile lived on Market Street, „.
Ile had a speckled Thom.; Nit,
'('hat couldn't well ta,t heat;
lio'd c►►tch tunro rats and mica and sittit
Thar► forty cgs could cat.
This eat would Como into the room
And climb upon a cheer,
And there he'd tit and lac hisself
And purr so awful queer,
That Furguson 'mild ut hint
But still he'd purr-severe.
And dm he'd climb the moonlit &tier!,
And lost' around and yowl.
Anil spit, and claw another cat
Alongside of the jowl,
And then they both wonld shake their
Awl jump around and howl.
Oh, this here cat of Fognsou'a
Was tbarful then to roc ;
Ile'd yell precisely like he wai
In awlul agony ;
You'd think a first-claas stomachache
Bad struck some small baby.
Andull the withers in the street,
Waked bythe horrid din,
Would die right up and march their babes,
To find sonic worryin' pin ;
And still this vigorous cat wuuld keep
A hollerin like ftin.
And as for Mr. Vurmon
'Tins mere thnn he could bear,
Anil so he burled his boot jack wit,
Riht through ri g . I hid ing h t , a i r; _
thisliut vocirerens Thomas cat,
Not one cent did he care,—
Fur mill he 3:ottlel aryl kept Lip fur
A staiio, Joon otoi,
And his did fine n iloublite up
As far ia it wpuld bond,
A. if his hopes of happinoss
Did on his lungs depend.
This while n eitrvin' of hin spine
And weitini to attaek.
A cut upon the other fence.
There came an nwful crack ;
Anj. this here rtpeckleil Tiitilll43 Cat
W busted in the back.
When Fortzu , on (mina down next Jay,
There lay Us old Mine,
Ana not n life Will left :u taut
Altionah he had ad nine.
"AU this hore mules," said Purgoson,
'Of eurviu' of his spiuo,"
Nowell you men wove tender Warts
This parietal tale dory tark,vt
Just take this moral to yourcelve9,
All of you, white and black ;
Don't ever go up your b like this h ack l ere cat,
To gettin'
KATIE MORTIS'S ELOPEMENT
TIT HOMERWIRTZ.
Katie North was an angel, but flying,
like Icarus, too near the sun, her fragile
wings melted away from her shoulders and
she gravitated earthward. No other suppo.
sition to account for her appearance here
below would satisfy the beholder, unless it
were one involving the nebula theory. She
teemed impalpable, intangible; there was
nothing gross, nothings 'l'Of tba earth,
earthy." Her lieht fatt scarce touched
the wound, and she vented to float along
—an airy, unsubstantial mass of curls,
smiles, and white muslin. Her eyes retein
ed the color caught in heaveq —cloudless
sapphires. Her hair was painted with the
golden sunset; meth instant <changing to
some new shade still more beautitbi than the
last. put, withal, Katie had some human
uttribute.a. She ha .l an impel iotte little will
of ter own, because it had never been
thiearted. Careeeed awl petted by her
Aotits father from babyhood up, she had
nereilnown restraint or endured the pain
of *big theltishimsratitied. A grieved
took her fultqftce had ever been,potent
to banish wendsl frowns, and she had
lived on through the. eammer of childhood,
the happy, careless songbird that fears
.not or knows not the coming winter,
and burdens not its lays with prophetic tad
,tese.
7 her Teepee; Katie tninUliated a
Watley. She Baal a great
for haudsoinu young follow
with glossy tuoustriehen ; an . admiration
which gave her father some uneminess, for
be was anxious to have his daughter vow
fartably married, and occupying a rosiwcts
bla position in society : and ho knew that.
as a rule handsome young men are not ss
so "solid," as uglier and older
mon• "Thi6 rule can only he accounted fo e ;
by the groat law of compensations. livan•
ty, genius and wealth arc seldom united in
the saute person. Evory blessing bas its
offset; every charm is method by some un
pleasant quality or condition. Youth and
v overty, age and wealth. beauty and silo
1;116'4', genius and ugliness, arc often paired
with each other.
Mr. North had taken note of his daugh
ter's unworldly disposition, her uncaleut
dng nature, her preference of youth, beauty,
and rags (metaphorically speaking), to age,
ugliness and wealth and it troubled hint nut
a little. Ile loved Katie and could not
command, while wise counsel as to good
matches, with allusions to certain middle
aged and "solid men, was thrown away on
her. She could not understand, and was
obstinate. Knowing nothing of the intri
cate machinery by which greenbacks are
manufactured, nor of the trouble and appli
cation necessary to success in business, she
imagined that money was one of the most
plentiful things iu the world, and agrecabh
qualities the most scarce. She continued
to throw her smile 3 away 'upon handsome
young men, and to pout !tor pretty lips at
the heavy suitors introduced by her father.
In this dilemma r funtilius determined
to resort to strategy.
The son of an old friend had lately return
ed from Eruope. lie was wealthy, intelli
gent, distinguished•looking, and of polished
manners, an 1 Mr. North, set his heart on
having him for a son-in-law. Ile knew that
Katie could have but two objections to this
lover: be was over thirty and weak by. To
remove one of these objections, Mr. North
r e..clre.l that Arthur Langdon should play
the part of a "poor young man," while he
himself would enact the purse-proud, indig
nant parent. It was almost certain, in such
ease, that Katie would hill desperately in
love with her father's choice. if she could
overlook his advanced age. Mr. Langdon,
therefore, was invited to the house and pre
vailed upon, as a joke, to appear before
Katie as one of her father's clerks.
At dinner time that day Mr. North in
formed Katie that one of his clerks would
call on him in the evening in relation to
business, and that be preferred she would
absent herself from the; parlor on that occa
sion. is what you school-girls call a
tliscinating man, anl I. have no desire that
mg 'blighter should be fascinated by a poor,
beggarly clerk !"
And Mr. North rose very grandly, and
turned away in older that Katie might not
ace the twinkle in his eye, which her rebel•
lions put had brought there. Miss Katie
had intended to ti-it a dear friend that
evening, but now she determined w post
.= the visit in order to catch a gliutPtie of
this dangerous clerk.
That evening Mr. Langdon came. Katie
saw Mal a; he ascended the steps, and was
pleased with his st) pearance, and determin
ed to tee more of him. Ile was ushered
into the parlor, end was soon engaged with
his host in a pleasant conversation, when
the dear suddenly opened and the dutiful
daughter entered as if unconscious of the
presence of a stronger. Illicit she saw Mr.
Langdou silo started as though she would
retreat. but her flither called her in and in
troduced he in a still; ungracious manner to
his guest :
"My daughter, Mr. Lnninifin," and then
%at down, unnoyed nt the invrrup
don.
Katie bowed and took a seat.
Langdmi, startled at such a vision of love
liness, was dumb flrr a moment, then rising
gracefully he made his most elaborate salam
and inspite of the old gentleman's frowns,
was soon engaged in a sparkling interchange
of thought with the fair daughter. Arthur
was as agreeable as he knew how to be, awl
Katie was charmed with him, as she prede
termined to be. All went merry as a mar
riage bell, until Mr. North, thinking matters
had gone quite far enough for a favorable
first impression, hemmed, hawed, consulted
his watch. and finally remarked :
"Mt. Landon and I have much to say to
each other. Katie Isere you ordered break
fast ?"
Lupien looked Katie pouted; but
she took the hint and withdrew. The 110.
chatting clerk hell tho door fur her, and, as
ho bade hvr goo i•evening, he gave her u
look which haunted her dreams.
Katie was smitten, and Langdon was no
less so. The old gentleman's talk about
business seemed very insipid, and Arthur
soon took his leave. llis calk were fre
quent after that, and while Katie wondered
why her faiber should tolerate his presence,
she became more and more entangled in the
silken meshes of love. Langdon finally de
clared the state of his feelings to Mr. North,
and requested him to become his father-in
law. Ills suit was gladly accepted, but he
was told that his success depended upon his
maintaining the character of a remarkable
genius in romantic poverty. Ile accepted
the situation, and went many times to see
Katie when her father was out. They soon
plighted undying Nth to each other.—
laaugdon painted the Odom of a pretty
cottage, where love should be the household
deity, in colors as bright as Claude Melnotte
employed to decorate lain castle by the lake
of Como, and Katie vowed to wed with him
and with no other, with or without parental
consent or blessing.
lint how was the matter to be broached to
the stern tither? Arthur shrank from thr
insulting answer to be anticipated, and Kith
while she feared, clung still closer to her
adored one. Their anxiety on this point
was &matted to be relieved ,n a very disagree
able manner. One evening, as they wen
sitting in rather close proximity in the parl
or, the door suddenly opened, and in stalked
the cruel parent with most furious mein.
"What means this?" he cried, frowning
savagely.
"It means that I love"—
"Fiddlesticks
"No, Sir your daughter,"
BL OOMSBUItG,
"Healy, Mr. Langdon, you are modest ,
I had not expected this Wow. The high
alliance you proffer is duly appreciated ;
but allow me to bid you good-night."
"My poverty is a crime in your eyes, but
your daughter has a nobler vision," said
Arthur, striking a dramatic attitude. "I
understand you sir, and' will take my
departure. So saying, he seized Katie's
hand for a momeat, and darted from the
house Katie wanton crying to bed,and more
deeply in love than ever with her beloved
Arthur. The next day she received a note
through a confidential channel, appointing
an interview. Loving, but disobedient Miss
Katie, met him as desired, and they had
many similar stolen interviews afterwards.
until at last it was agreed that they would
elope, and trust to receive papa's forgive
ness when all wits over. Arthur said he'd
take her to his aunt's house, and so the time
was appointed and everything arranged.
That day Katie was more than ever ten
der to her old father, who seemed in ex
tremely good humor. She penned a little
penitential note and left it on her father's
table, and, as evening approached, she ar
rayed herself, and, fearful and trembling,
hastened to the rendezvous. Arthur was
there with a carriage, in which he placed
her, and she was whirled rapidly away.—
They stopped in front of a splendid mansion,
which was brilliantly illuminated as if for
some great occasion. Into this Arthur led
her half bewildered, and presented her to
an elegant lady, his aunt, who took her up
stairs to a private room, and calming her
fears, decked her for her bridal.
When all was ready, Arthur led her into
the parlor, where was the clergyman and a
mall company, at which the bride hardly
glanced. The marriage service was soon
ended, and Katie felt herself receiving in
numerable itisse.s and good wishes, and then
she felt her father's hand, and heard her
father's voice, and saw her father's smiling
face.
` Well, Katie, you have married your
choice in spite of your lather ; but I for•
give you, and give you my blessing."
"My dear little wife, can you not welcome
your father to your new home ?" laughed
Arthur.
"My home !" said Katie, completely be
wildered. "I thought"—
''You thought," interrupted her father,
laughing heartily, "that it was to be a small
cottage with a leaky roof, but
happily, nfter all, like a shilling novel. The
poor young lover has not been left a large
fortune by a rich East India uncle, but he
has a fortune of his own, which in just as
well."
"Forgive to?, Katie, for this deception,
and k shall l o tho last," plead Arthur.—
"This is my house, and you are its inktress.
I am not poor but I hope you will lore me
us well as if I were."
Katie wisely concluded to forgive her
father and husband the deception they had
practised, and finally became as happy a
woman as the unf'ortnnate wife of a wealthy
Wall can reasonably hope to be.
How MrSIMAIM SWIM UNDER TIM Ica.
—Muskrats have a curious method of trav
eling long distances under the ice. 111 their
winter excursions to their feeding grounds,
which are frequently at great distances from
their abodes, they take is breath at starting,
and remain under the water as long as they
can. They then rise to the ice and breathe
out the air in their lungs, which remains in
bubbles against the lower surface of the ice.
They wait till this air recovers oxygen from
the water and ice, and then take it in again,
and go on again till the operation has to be
repeated. In this way they can travel al
most any distance, and have any length of
time under the ice. The hunter sometimes
takes advantage of this habit of the musk
rat in the following manner : When the
marshes and ponds where the muskrats
abound are first firozen oven, and the ice is
thin and clear, on striking in o their houses
with his hatchet for the purpose of setting
his traps, he frequently sees a whole family
plunge into the water and swim away under
the iee. Following one of them for some
distance, he sees hint come up to renew his
ureath in the manner above described. Al
ter the animal has breathed against the ice,
and before he has time to take his bubble
in again, the hunter strikes with his hatchet
directly over him, and drives him away from
his breath. In this ease lie drowns in swim
ming a few rods, and the hunter, cutting a
hole in the iee, takes him out. Mink, otter,
and beaver travel under the ice, in the same
way; anti hunters have frequently told me
of taking otter in the same manner I have
described when these animals visit the
houses of the muskrat fur prey.— The Trap.
per's Uuhk.
blAlittlAON AND DEATH. —Why' is it that
the marriage announcements ate initnediate
ly followed by the obituary notice in our
paper? 'Mei death fidlow so closely on the
footsteps of marriage? Is grief the page
that carries the train of happiness ? Does
the tomb open with its dark and pondeorus
jaws beside the nuptial couch? This is the
plan of life. The gleeful songs of light and
merry hearts to.day, to-morrow will turn to
funeral chants, and sobbing and lamentation
ho hoard instead of glad, pealing laughter.
We real to day of our friends marriage,
them joy; to•morruw wo sec their
death recorded, and say, " peace to their
ashes." Our meniest songs are timid by
footfalls of death, and the "silver chord"
is as fragile as a spider's thread, and the
" golden bowl" is worn brittle than glass.
A ITIon lissr—A hole in your hat.
A., WEDNESDAY, MARCH - B. a
The United States Debt.
Secretary MeCyht.nett infinins us in hie
last monthly statement that the debt of the
United States' on the Ist of this mouth
amounted to $2,5'27,069,313, (tI thousand
five hundred and twenty seven millions sixty
nine thousand,three hundred and thirteen
dollars.) We have an idea that a eleser
scrutiny than any Secretary of the Treasury
has yet given the financial affairs of the
government, would show a much larger
mount of indebtedness. IF our memory
serves us rightly in this matter, we think
wo might quote the authority of Trim)
&Elwin for putting it at time thousand
millions when all claims against the govern
meet shall be finally settled. But the sum
stated by Secretary MeCmocu is largo
enough to put us into a brown study as to
how and when (Weyer) it is to be paid.
This vast debt is a legacy of the war, which
resulted in freeing some three or fuur ►uil
lions of semi-barbarous negroes and midi.-
may some eight or ten millions of civilized,
intelligent white people. It was contracted,
we were told, to save the life of the na
tion ;" but instead of " saving the life of
the nation," the party in power that con
tracted the debt and squandered the money,
have so maimed it by lopping off nearly a
third of it s members that it is now languish
ing in the agonies of death, and, under the
empirical treatment to which it is subjected
by the quacks and impostors who have the
case in charge, must risen die outright, un
less the people employ more :MINI physi
cians who will pursue a very different course
of treatmeut. But the questions now press
ing upon us are." How is thin debt to hie
paid'?" " When will it be paid ?" "Ought "
it to be paid ?" We can see but one way of
paying it, if it is paid, and that is by texta
tior►. The people are already taxed on all
the luxuries and necessaries of life, on all
Cur proceeds of thrift and industry, on sal
aries and notes and bonds (except the gov
ernment bonds for this very debt,) and in , .41-
gages and receipts; on all they eat, drink,
or wear : on all they can see, bear, taste,
smell or think of; on everything, in short,
from a needle to an anchor, to nu amount
approximating, it' not exceeding Otero ken
dr,ll of dollars. One hundred and
fifty or sixty millions of this tax are absorb
ed in payment of the interest on the public
debt—the other one hundred and fitly mil
lions are consumed in supporting a large
. , s ern y used minty ins pn• m g
negro equality ; on a freedmen's Bur e au
and its various brunches, establish( d for the
same purpose ; in supplying rations to lazy
negroes ; in re-eonstrueting States, some of
which were constructed before mostuf their
present re-constructors were born, in paying
a rump mongrel Congress tin• destroying the
government and enslaving and ruining the
country, and other like worthy ;purposes.
Now, if the people have resolved in earuest
to pay this debt, it Is time they were look
ing into their financial affairs end deterrent.
ing each for himself how notch more taxa
tion he can bear. Can they stand, and will
they patiently and patriotically ply twenty
per centum more—that is an additional six
ty millions every year ? ir so they can pay
it off in the course of thrty-two years or
thereabouts, and satisfy their " loyal" hearts
at the expense of craving stomachs and rag•
ged backs. As to whether, it'paid, it should
be paid in government promises, worth from
sixty to seventy cents on the dollar, accord
ing to the fluctuations of the market. or in
gold, that is equally a question for the tax
payers to deeide. One thing is certain,
while the mongrel negro theives remain in
power, no matter what amount is squeezed
out of the 'Triple in taxes, but a small
amount of it will be used in reducing the
debt. But now, as to the final question :
"Ought thin debt to be paid ? All honest
debts, whether of governments or individ
uals should be paid. But is this heavy gov
ernment debt, this legacy of a purposely
prolonged and badly conducted war, this
vampyre that is sucking the lifiP-Wood athe
people, an honest debt? Was not the war
for the most part speculation, urged on and
kept up by all descriptions of sharpers and
stock gamblers and speculntors and swind
lers and theives, including the principal
members of the administration and of Con
gress, the men who voted and contraeted
the debt—all of whom in one way and anoth
er managed to fill their pocket books to re
pletion with the money which the people
were told was intended to be used in con
ducting the war? Was not this debt Con
tracted under !the pretences, and is not most
of it held now in government five tiveuties
and seven thirties and ten forties, by the
rascals who stole n►ost largely, or made mil
lions out of large contracts at high prices
by the convenience of government official•
who participated in the spoils?
Certainly, if the debt in an honest one it
should he paid. But the question of its
honesty should be first settled, before the
people are called upon to pay it either in
goverment paper or in gold. The idea
strikes us at this moment—and we think i
is worth suggesting--that the only way
which the debt ought to be paid, if paid at
all, would be to tax heavily the bonds and
forma sinking fund with the premeds by
which the debt could be graduully extin
guished. In this way the bond-holders
could pay the debt and paradoxical as it
may seem, still make money by their invest
ment--I,lclietirefe ilirteatifssn.
POTATO liltem.—faie wiiteTepotless po
tatoes; put them in a pan of clear wa'et
by the fire till they are dry and fall to pf i•
elm; rub them through a vivo on the di-h
they are to go to the table in, and do not
disturb them.
!lone Meat Apr Halt.
We have received u knizilly circular and
letter from A. T. Stewart of Now York city.
doaler is (1 for Pro Went' N wives; chief
wortopolm, bond-holder anti robber of the
(Invr Club of Butrhor'n organization ;
"ki ng u.;to h e lp omoioate. the. imtinnoletl
drunkard who 'NleAlitolzed the road to
lliehntoud with kttll of better men than
hino.olf, as the people's cuntlitlute fur the
Pre44 , .ney
Great Gni)!
GILANT the candidate of the people!
The drunken 111111114 ull, a arose between
the huri,e and tobaeco worw, he the
date of the prop/e!
The maudlin ignoramus of America—the
empty headed tool of tyrunts—theco•worker
with Stanton the infituours and other crea
tures of the Runup—the besotted political
mule who has not an idea of his own beyond
cigar , and horses—who knows no more of
statesmanship than Ileu,t Butler knows of
his father—the blubber brained breaker of
faith with brave wen, the candidate of the
prop/ !
Nerer
No matt who lends his name to the trai
tors deserving death as do the leaders of the
Rump party—no more tool who is like on
Ass led by a market seeker—no man who
would consent to be Dictator in Olrlt free
Ameriett—no man who despises the Consti
tution of the United States—no than who is
ctudidate of such traitors as make up
the Radical patty of miserly, snobbish um.
nq,olists and bond-holding aristocrats Minsk
to support hint can ever be the candidate of
the people!
We beg pardon, bond-holding Stewart,
but the bait is too thin ! Under theca,. of
the Ass we see the point of bayonets! We
don't like tobacco smoke—it makes as sick.
We do nut wish to see a horse occupying the
White Douse, even if a clown did live there
and die there! Grant would not draw Re
puld;ean vote , . for he is not an expert at
na-ty mot l e s to political strumpets as
was the saint and martyr ! And drunkards
de not make good Pre-ideas, indeed they
do not !
Ah no Stewart—no Giant for us. We
have no of to your furnishing the
White house to replace what the wife of
that great and good specimen of elongated
smuttiness stole have no objections to your
selling camel bsir shawl:, hoop skirts • hooks
an d eyo, welting cord. bombazine, kid
gloves of rat skill, garters, birds eye linen or
oil boiled silk, but decline passing our plate
114 1 , horse meat !
When the penile want a mutlidate the
prop/e will tell 110 q! And the man they
want I.+ not the WWI w h o has piedyed
se/f to make the infamous Stanton e. , 4 Dicta
tor over all the 'tate, as Grant has. The
polite want neither a butcher, a horse„ a
blockhead, an ignoramus, a drunkard, nor a
huyonft to rule over them, and ',o w le will
not be caught by any quilt bait us used by
•,111,1).., Nabobs, pv.1)01)111'1.4 , 4, aristoerat,
unioiti•ts, Lama hollers, n.orper-, ers
of liberty, tariff protected tunnufactuner.:
and hull starved alti , licont , for office, all
who are 6,1144 witiicued hto ks, with Grant
thr bait I Ile i- =n symmithy with too many
bud men to suit us Stewart, so you may
"drip your line" in r. , lht , other p on d
P. S.—Sent! u a camel hair shawl one of
the "relic," of the late homenteal it may
induce u, to "go" tor Uly. •,es and IMt faith-
Eul Stewart! Who know,?— La Crosz,e
Dcm weft!.
A now uml exten , ive robbery and at•
tempt ut murder, wus committed last Sat
urday night at !for:cover's mill, on 'Nip,.
hoeken creek. about three miles from ILA
ing. Charles Lung, the miller, was attack
ed in th e m ill, about 2 a. in., by u putty of
four to , n, two or whom was disguised; was
shot with pistols, and robbed of iouu,
which ho had upon his per-on, lie was
then left, tied, and it was di-eovered next
morning that himi house had been entered
during the night by the saint: party, by
means of a :wool -story window. Two of
the bed-rooms were ransacked, and $50111) in
government bonds, $.2000 in greenbacks an d
s2ooo in gold were taken limn a heretic'. It
is suppomal the thieves had some previous
knowlethze or the situation of the premises.
Three nieu, who were ideeping in the mill
at the time, were not wakened by the en
counter bet Weelll LOW and t h e robber:, as
the mill was going, nor were the fatuity diti•
tubed by the ranee into the house. Mr
Long hall returned the previous ovenbig
from Philadolphia, where he had drown a
`P,lLidt.l46lo ut [Hooey sit he. Third Nu-
Omni Bank. No arrest , hail been made up
to this time.—Nernwetotea Targroph,
litmotln 14vontv..vrtnti FOR lIIELAND*
A new reform bill iorland iw atmormeed
by the &gild) gout mama, and bt thought
that some einteiliatorY Ineaotres, though not
in the most eotteiliatily spirit, will be adopt
by Parliament, Conertionit Web are
ino 1 , upon ettn,buisi,.p are not lik<<iy to but
3 very soothing tifeet Awe emollient al
mientions to a di. vase to. chronic and deep.
seat, us that of Trelltel may produce tem
poral tepose, 111010, Fur seven
&Igneous lrolmet has been harressed as an
unwilling ea pt ire at the ear of Britb-h power,
and what :the wishes i- to he freed. Noth
ing abort or the restoration of her inaliena.
ble right to liberty and the month of hate
Illness will 44)(1841 tba.distamteot or the
Irkh. ir What they want, everit their
eonditiotaii other respects should be worse
than it is now. It be not impossible that, in
the course of human events, justice and
right will yet triumph in that Wand,
E 3
Odds and Ends.
EDITOR. —A poor wretch who empties his
bruins to fill his stomach.
No man will ever be able to build a house
by currying bricks in his hat.
IF beauty "draws us by a single hair,"
who can withstand a modern waterfall ?
Is it right to deFeribe a man who is pel
ted with rotten eggs as "bowing his head to
the yolk ?"
Tut first thing a hen says to her brood
and not the last thing a child says to his
father—" Shell out."
WIIAT is the difference between a ben
and an idle nut,ician? One lays at pleasure
and the other plays at leisure.
Ir the happy days of wedlock are called
the honeymoon, why shouldn't the unhappy
ones be styled the lunar cesties?
A nammt mum said to &sates, " You
cannot stand on one leg so long as I eon."
"True," replied the philosopher, "but a
goose can."
A I.IITLE DOT seeing a man prostrate he-
(ore the door of a saloon, opened the door
and said to the proprietor, "See here, sir,
your sign has fallen down."
A \Vim onsin girl, who became crazy at
the death of ber mother, was immediately
restored to reason when matrimony MI pro
posed. That's what "fetched her."
A DANCIN(I master in New York has in
trodoeeti a "Kiss Cotillion," in which the
gentleman always kisses the lady as "swing
corners." Our imp of the ink keg says
he will take stock in that kind of cotillions.
AN awkward man attempting to carve a
goose dropped it on the door.
"There, now," exclaimed his wife, "we've
lost nor dinner."
"Oh no, my dear !" answered he, "it's
tufo ; I have got my foot upon it !"
“IlustiNu, I wish you could buy me
SIIIIIC Nathers."
lotlee,l, dear wife, you look butter with
out them."
"Oh, no, sir, you always call me your
little bird, aud how dues a bird look without
feathers?''
nosrANter.—A group of school-boys
were endeavoring to determine to what spe
cies the "Tree of Knowledge" should be
so , igned. Little Tommy Jones, enlighten
ed doubtless . by recent experience, solved
he difficulty thus : guess," said he,
IL a I,,"relt tree!"
VERY AFFEcnsa--A farmer going to
"get his grist gronnd" at a mill, borrowed
a bag of one of his neighbors. The poor
man was somehow or other knocked into the
water by the water whell and the bag went
with him, He wits drowned, and when the
melancholy news was brought to his wife,
she exclaimed, "i4y gracious, what a fuse
there'll be about that bag!"
" WELL John. did you take that note I
gave you to Mr. Stuithersr
" Yes, sir, I took the note, but I don't
think he can read it."
t'annot read it ! Why so, John ?"
Because he is blind sir, While I wor
in the room he axed me where my hat wor,
and it wor on my head all the time."
MISENDERSTOnD TIIE TEXT. —A worthy
deacon hired a journeyman farmer Eton a
neighboring town tier the summer, and in
duced him—although he was unaccustomed
to church•geing—to accompany the family
to church, on the first Sabbath of his stay.
Upon their return to the deacon's house, he
a-ked his hired man how he liked the
!wet' .hiog. Ire replied :
I don't like to hear any minister preach
polities."
“ I am very sure you heard no polities to
day,.' said the deacon.
" I am sure that I did," said the man.
" Mention the passage,'' said the deacon.
" I will," he said, "If the Democrats
scarcely are saved, where will the Republi
can, appear?"
Ah," said the deacon, "you mistake.
These were the words ; "If the righteous
searecly are saved, how will the ungodly
and wicked appear ?"
"0, yes," said the mam "he might have
used those words, but I knew (heed well
whot
A MUSICAL CATE(7lllB3l.—What is A slur?
Almost any remark ono singer makes
about another.
What is a rest?
Going out of choir during sermon for
refroAtuents.
What is singing with an "undcrstand
ing?"
Marking time on the floor with your foot.
What is symphony?
Flirting with the soprano singer behind
the organ.
What is a staccato movement?
Leaving the choir in a huff because one
is di—u(t-tied with the organist.
What is a swell ?
A processor of music who pretends to
know ull about the science, while he can not
cesiceal his ignorance.
What are grace notes?
Greenbacks received for a quarter's salary..
What is a turn?
When one singer is discharged to wake
room fur another.
How do you produce discowl?
By prulatng a lady tinging at the expense
of another who overheard you.
Hew is a shake, produced?
By estehitittho bellows boy Weep when
the choir is Way to sing.
What is * tat?
A singer who suppone himself or Unite
indidpettrible to the mow of the et*.
NUMBER 8.
Tnr. Womown Peonz.—The New York
Evening Past states that it is conceded by
those best informed upon the subject that,
with the exception of the very hard winter
185.1-55, destitution was never so general in
that city as at present. The reports from
the various missions and other benevolent
societies, as well as those from private in
dividuals, speak of extraordinary privations
among the poor, including an unparalefical
number of Americans. This winter, for
the first time in the experience of the police,
American mechanics nightly seek the shel
ter of the station house; and not alone for
a night, or in few numbers, but by dozens,
and accompanied in some instances by their
wives and little children. In many eases,
the applicants fur shelter are women and
children—frequently the widows and or
phans of those who lost their lives in the
war. Some of these lodge in the station
house many nights in succession. The an
nouncement ii made that a co-operative
stove foundry has begun operations in Sotn
merset, Massachusetts. Shipbuilding in
Englund is so dull at present that vessels can
be built there at lower prices than for
years.
HEAVY S KNTENC ES. —ln the Superior
Court yesterday afternoon, six men were
sentenced for the crimes of highway robbery,
for the aggregate term of sixty-four years
and six months. Judge Clinton, in passing
sentence,said in his experience, he bad never
known of a similar awe, where six individ
uals had been sentenced for the crime of
highway robbery in ono day, by the same
Court. William Manogue was sent to
Auburn State Prison for a term of nineteen
years and three months; Felix McCarty,
nine years and three months, and Micheal,
alias "Codger," McCarty, for nine' years
and three months, for robbing Mr. George
Peifer, on Maple street; John Jones was
sent to the same prison for the term ofelev
en years and three months, and William
Anderson for ten years awl three months,
for robbing Mr. Baldwin, on Carroll street ;
and James Ilalestock, colored, for robbing
Samuel Brown, also colored, was sent to the
same prison fur five years and three months.
—Buffalo Courier.
311c.twurats.—We have never seen so
many Miemvbers (oceupationless men "an:-
"• • '
as arc now to be met with daily on the streets.
And these are not ordinary loaferswho would
not labor if they could. They are the bon
et and industrious fathers of families who
arc never idle when they can get employ
meet. This is a sad state of affairs, when
men desire to labor and can get nothing to
do. They will be apt to spit upon radical
legi-lation which has so crippled the energies
of the country that thousands of industrious
men are thrown out of employment.
THE Philadelphia Lager has the follow.
ing, which will serve, at the present time,
"to point a moral" if not to "adorn a tale:"
"Hayti is one Of those lively places which
is not happy unless it is constantly having
revolutions. Saluave had hardly got him-
Mt' fixed in the place from which Garrard
was compelled to fly, when a new revolution
broke out, which was only quelled by meas
ures as "vigorous" as steel and lead could
make them. Now again another revolution
is spreading like wildfire, and the fighting
has become general, Solomon having been
proclaimed President. Ilayti is now enjoy
ing the place formerly held by Mexico."
ACCIDENTAL AND SAD DEATH.—Michael
Hannon, son*,:of Lawrence Hannon, lisq.
of this place, met with a sad and sudden
death at the Colliery of Louden Beadle, on
Monday last. He had set off a blast and
retired behind a door, as be thought at a
safe distance IV hen the blast went off a
piece of coal struck him on the bead kill
ing him instantly. He was a young man of
good character, and we regret to record his
untimely death :—Ashland !vomit , .
A WESTERN Hoosier called on a boat cap
tain to sell him a saddle of mutton
" Say, Captain, don't you want to buy a
nice saddle of mutton to.day?"
" No ; I would as soon eat dirt," replied
the Captain.
" Well, said the Mosier, 'tis according to
bow a man bas been raised. Now I woub/
rathet cot mutton !''
A ConesEn in Arkansas, after empanell
ing his fury said, " Now gentlemen, you aro
to dvtermiuo whether the deceased come to
his death by accident, by incident or incen
diary." The verdict was that" The &mem
ed came to his death by widow) in the
shape of a bowie knife."
THEY have a new concrete pavement in
Detroit, which is not slippery, noisy or rough,
costs $1 25 per square yard less than Nichol
son, requires no stone curbing, and is claim
ed to be superior in durability to any other
pavement in use.
A SENSATIVE lady from the country look.
ing for a coach, addressed a cabman : "Pray,
sir, arc you engaged 7" " Och ! bless your
puny sow!, ma'am, I've been married these
seven years, and have nine children I"
A NAN is a feel if he be enraged with an
ill that he cannot remedy, or if be endures
one that he can. He must bear the gout
but there is no occasion to let a fly tickle his
nose.
POTATO CAKIIII.-TO a Annt half peek of
potatoefi grated, add two eggs, mit, thloksa
with a little flour, and fty in a spider, as
bake. Boiled gravid potatoes may Wend.
but are not quite so aloe.
Wno was Jonah's tutor. Whale, who
brought him up;
7 A