"_ r I M- k 2 TERMS OF MIS PAPER. * ANA Courtin% is pibilibed" emery Nonday 'issuing, by }Unit . BTLIILI, u $1,73 per sonata if paid strictly tit soirsien—s2,oo per anima if sot paid in ashrance. No subscrip tion diseontined i unless at the 'option of the publisher, until all arrestreges are paid. •nrssrtssstasrs Inserted at the astral rates. Jos Pitortho done with neatness nud dis patch, oath; moderate prices. Onus in South Baltimore street, directly opposite Vit'arapler's Tinning EstabliAtment, one sad a half squares from the Gaon House— " Costrimus". on the ►iga. Bestrew & Winter, NEST OXFORD, &dams mlunty, Pa., Pc, Ace, foriclrding cad Ctolflllitilliols ;rare hentse ; Wholesale and Retail Dealers in Gro ceries: constantly uu hand, Fi./4, Plaa /for, G•tano, &c. FIA)CR, W I7EIT, CORN. RV!, 0 ITS, CLATtIi and TimortlY Szru, I),ug,tit at all times, fur which the highest sash prices are paid. Feb. 15, 165/4. Gm New Lumber Yard, AT NEW OXFOAR—The undersigned would inforu3 the ;public that he has opened a LUNI HER YARD, on a large scale. in the town of New Oxford, Adams county, to which the Gettvshurg ltailr.td has been al ready etten rtiretit etnliritees all kinds of L ini 4 por—Palle!, First and Second uuurat an I Calling livai-dx, First an d SJ,:und C rutmoo and /lank. Hemlock Fencing Boards, ;ek. Joidts, & a mai n* Plastering Lath, healed and plain Paling, /r.O lle incites calls from thuse in want of Loather, feeling assured that in 4111.1lity or price his stock C&N'T nt !DAT. Ile will en. de.trur to deserve a large share of public Da tr•uotge. J .COB AULABA.LiGILI. Fel). I, 1858. New Coal & Lumbar Yard, ty Nur Ox.rmw. Ao.t N. 4 COCNTY, Ps.— `" FRANKLIN iIiGZSLI has received and will e,,nitantly keep on haul, a large and well !it.- lecte , l atotortment of LUNIIIE:It. and a superior article of COAL suitable for l uuily purpoies. Also. Blacksmith's emal of the ta..st quality. All orders for sawed lutub.ir an he filled at shortest notice. Fit KLIN IIEIISII New' Olf)r.1, Fe'). 8. 18.8. II A Large Supply of Lumber, INC LC DI NG 12very quality of Kt% er Pine, just rc.:e; ve I. 1111,1 for sale. at ‘ery l..w pricey, at the Yard uf E.11).i LICEIII,,EIt, o e 1114 C ey• 11 aJ iio : iloa trail Railroad S:1 eels, j.ist in ttie rear of the •• E.tgle 11 481." 'rney ha% e also un hatid a large variety of I): uteri Srliajling Lather, •uaid I%d:et L f •it I*, (for garden fencing,) which they will sell low. Orders for any aulolint can be pro,nptly fillc 1. Builders, before 20r• elsewhere, will find- it to their ad v.intage to examine qualities and prices-- Also, a superior article of Muck:milk Cuul, at 33 eta, per bushel. Gettyslifirg, Jan. 25, Isrps. V tNITIN GROCERIES & CONFECTIINS. 12 —The undersigned have purchased the Gro cery Store of E. 11. MINNIGII, on the Nurthwest corner of the Diamond. formerly occupied by A. B. Kurtz. where they invite the attellti , lll of all who may wtah Groceries, !a ufections, Fruits—Coffee. Tea, Sugar, S It. Starch. Suds. Spices of all kinds, Lemons. Figs, Aimonds, &c. Also, a fine as sortment of chevrimr and smoking Tobacco, Segars. Snuff; dr.c. ,T=7"Coulitry Produce ta ken in exchange fur Giods. tV3.I. BUYEB. SON. September 7;1857. Removed to Hanover, T i IIIANCIS J. WILSON, late of the Wash -- Ingtoit Hulce at ktilanttatwn, has taken OLI) AND Vt./PULAR STAND, ui Um - lover. where will be happy to enter tain all who may patronize him. Ills Table is supplied with the hest the market and gar den can :01.)rd, cud his Mir with the choicest of liquors. Ills -ztables are commodions, and attended by ckrefill Ostle-s. Give him a call. , You will always fit)! FIe.ASK. 'CM the spot. ready aid willinz to mtke everybody cum brlable. [April 27. 1&57. To the Country, Good News. 1 11.1V4 reuted the F“oulry for the mm iug year, and em prepared to make the difereat kinds of Ca%tings usually ni.ide at a Foundry. I wilt keep oonstatttly un bend the difercntkinds of PLOUGHS, Pointe, Shares, Putters, ttl!« Stores timl MAchinery ; Por ches, Verandah'sun,l Cemetery Feacilig, wade and put up with Itikpatell. All orders will be attended to promptly; bat being without cupltal, and money being necessary L.) carry out the business, I will be c ompelled to sell for cash, but on all country work 5 per cent. will be deducted. .Suitable trade will be Liken, if delivered at the time of purchabiug. lit‘e us a call. E. M. WARIZEN. GAttysburg, June 1, 1A57. Hanover B. Railroad. pitAINS over the Ilanurer Branch Railroad ,w rnn aq frIIIOWF4 First Train learns Hanover at 9 a. X. with passengers fur York, Harrisburg, Columbia, and Pailadolpitia. This Train shot connects with the Express fur Baltituore, arriving there at 12x. Se.toa.l Tr.tin leare-4 at 1 P. x. with pan simAers Cur B iltirn ,re and inter.ae.liate pla tes, and return with passengers from York, Xt. 11 J. LEIB, Agent. Nov. 30, 1857. JUry List—April Court. GRAND JURY. JlI lien—Atel T. Wright, Samuel lloude- shell. Peter Rice. fluniltott--George B.aker, Daniel Dnder, Joseph Wood.. freethna--Abrahara Krise, of P., John D. Harrigan. jlaulitton ban —Cornelius Daugherty. EJward Ru.k. Christian Fry. iLiberty—James Topper. berm:my—Abraham Harrier, Lewis Stone lifer. Reading--Juhn B)eserroan, of John, &ogle. ton Eietwltz. literwick CarL Gettyaburg—Somucl itintylea4aut—Andrew Little. fraoltantuel Ih rt. Butter--John Funt. ain twa e lo-,lrrancis Friebten. Cuetberland—Javar NLiring. Residin*--Samael Heiner, Jacob Aulahnugh /Ai Biough, of John. Otford-4rancis M 411, W dliam Jenkins. • David flike. Frisakitlacob Starner, Peter Kettemsn, , J o h n hems, Reojensia Deardorff, Samuel Bueber, George Bushey, Jacob Lady. Catebirilicl.rlsaao Leeper, George Celp, TriirniasTettarson. Meaelle-Varnet - MYers, George Minnigh. Latienhic. RcAdkette, Conrad E. Myers. iLusiLcolace....Wm. T. Reed, Berney Irg , . blue, Elpingardner, Jacob Waltar, Jobe Getiglaieu Nitlanno-Apbraies Deariorff. ilteeLerittisitui. Boi.44fiehiel leffistea. ,eO.-.Daniel Ink*.' rinirg-Gernte 4. *am. • Brawn. • eery Galbraith. 77 56 Ar1iel S. DiehL. • " • Edward pTwp.....43sorp Zgal - I.BiB NS, beach and er.vhaspoilliillai -=•••,-forasie AVM% . `.s4'') EMI New Firm GINZRAL /CRY , . -.'. THE COMPILER _ • ' t • Br 11. J. STAJILE 407 YEAR. File i'oet's eoiTeh. For Ilse Cawslor L IMPS .11 3iy 11111millosuml. When the evening shades are falling, Atd the %taws in splendour shine, Still upon my memory calling Is that silvery voice of thine. I am thinking of thee ever, Midst my pleasure and my care, And although we sometimes sever, Memory has of thee its share. As we travel through life's journey, May 111 1r lot with rums be cast, And when this dull life is over, May we rest in !leaven at last. There well dwell with Christ our Sarifur, And we'll join to sing His praise, And we still will bless Mtn ever, For His mercy and His grace; Littlestown, March, 1858. M. M. 8. EEO Where, oh t where llath gentle peace found rest ? !Builds sus in bower of lady fair? But Love—he Itath possession there; Not-long is she the guest. Sits she crowned r Beneath a pictured dome? And there Ambition keeps his ground, And Fear and Envy skulk around : Tuts cannot be her home. Will she bide In labeler's pensive cell? Ent us already bath his bride; Him, Melancholy sits beside— With her she may not dwell. Now and then, Peace wandering lays her head On regal conch, in captive's den— tine nowhere finds she rest with men, Or only with the dead ! Meier Nay Vail. lIT CIIIMILIS SWAM Keep pushing—'tie wiser Than sitting aside, And dtetmingand sighing, And waiting the tide; In lift's earnest battle, They only Vravail "%Mo l t*ily march onward And never say fail. With an eye ever open, A tongue that's not dumb, And a heart that will never To sorrow miccomb, You'll battle and conquer, Though thousands assail; How strong and bow mighty Who never say fail I Ahead, Lb' n, keep pushing, And elbow your way, UnLeeding the envious, All asses that bray ; All obstacles vanish, All enemies quail In the might of their wisdom Who never say fail. In life's rosy morning, In manhood's fair pride, Let this be your motto Your footsteps to radii: In storm and in sunshine, • Whatever assail, well onward and conquer, And never say faiL selcel igisceil4f)ii. Marriage for Show. To the question often asked of young men as to why they do not marry, we sometimes hear the reply, "I am not able to support a wife." In one case in three, perhaps, this may be so; but as a general thing, the true reply would be, " I am not able to support the style in which I think my wife ought to live." In this, again, we set a false view of marriage; a looking to an appearance in the world, instead of a union with a loving woman for her own sake. There Are very few men, of industrious habits, who cannot maintain a wife, if they are willing to live economically, and without reference to the opinion of the world. The great evil is, they are not content to begin life humbly, to retire together into an obscure ,position, and together work their way into the world —be by industry in his calling, and she by dispensing wi:h prudence the n►on ey that ho earns. But they must stand out and attract the attention of others by fine houses and fine clothes. Hospitality is Me House of God.— Every church, says an exchange paper, that would prosper, must show proper attention to strangers. It should be seen that, they arts promptly and cour teously provided with seats, and made to feel that they are welcome there. Kind looks should greet them as they come, and follow, them as they go. Should they come again, let them meet with the same, reception. And should they become constantworshippers there. let tbem be sought out and visited, not, merely by the pastor, but by members of the church and congregation.— Whether rich or poor, they should not be overlooked or neglected. They have claims as strangers, irrespective of all outward distinction.' Let us see that the_y have prompt attention. Let every man bring the matter home to himself. Suppose you are ins strange place. Yon go to the houseof God on.the Sabbath, but are treated as a-stranp_r in the fullest sense of the Word. Yon-are not evoke* to.--you are not netted. ilro venttire to Sky the odi carrenoe would neitherbe pleasant nor *Ai forgotten.- - Aryat-t,A* Wltrak pining a citmorratic, Ntuto and t awn!! ,Nour4al. , GETTYSBURG, PA.: - ,IIIONDAY, APRIL 5, 1858. The Force of Imagination, A Lac*liese peasant, shooting spar rows, saw his dog attacked by a strange and very ferocious mastiff. lie tried to separate the animals, and received a bite from his own dog, which ii o ran off through the fields. The wound was healed in a few days. but the dug was not to be found ; and the peasant, after sonic tune. began to feel symptoms bf nervous agitation. lie conceived that the dog, from his disappearing,was mad, and within a day or two after this idea had struck him, he bczan to feel symptoms of hydrophe bin. They grew hourly more violent; he raved, and had all the evidences of the most violent distemper. As be was lying, with the door open, to let in the last air he was to breathe, ho heard his dog bark. The animal ran up to the bedside, licked bus hand, and frolicked about the room. It was clear that he, at least, was in per fect health. The peasant's mind was relieved at the instant ; he got up with renewed strength, dressed himself, plunged his head in a basin of water, and thus refreshed, walked into the room to bid astorib-lied tuniily. The statement is made in a memoir, by Pro fessor Barbuntini and it is not improb able tha4 many attacks of a disease ao strongly dependent upon the imagina tion might be equally cured by ascer taining the state of the animal by which the bite is - as given. Popularity. there are some people in the commu nity who, chamelion like, take the color of everything they touch, who are so condescending as to coincide with what cvcr is said or done. They will prac tice vice with the vicious, advocate vir tue with the virtuous, will donht with the akeptic, and profess a yen. eration for religion with the pious. If Anything is unpopular among the people where they are, it affords them sufficient grounds to reject it. and talk against it. Such persons deservedly lose the confidence of all honest and consisteut people. For they at one time advocate opinions which they oppose at another, and profess friend ship for those they are with; and then, when they are with others, turn against them. Such persons aro like flood trash floating upon the surface of a river, taking every new direction with tho current, and unlike those sob stanCes which have sufficient weight toy sink to the bottom of the strvam.--iler ald and Watchman. Remarkable Work of Human Labor. Nineveh was 15 miles lung, 8 wide, and 40 miles round, with a wall 100 feet high and thick enough for three chariots abreast. Babylon was 50 miles within the walls, wbicl were•7s feet thick and 100 high, with 100 brazen gates. The temple of Diana, at Ephesus, was 420 feet to the support of the root'. It was • hundred years in building. The facet of the pyramids is 481 high, and on the sides; its base egvers eleven acres. The stones are about 00 feet in -length, and the layers are 208. It cm _played 830,000 men in building. The ishyrinth in Egypt contains 300 cham bers and 12 hulls. Thebes, in Egypt, presents ruins 27 mileS around, and lOU gates. -Carthago was 29 miles round. Athens was 25 miles round and contain ed 359,000 citizens and 400,000 hlaves.. The.temple of Delphos was so rich in donations, that it with ptundored of E 50,000,000 and Nero carried away 200 statues. The walls of flume were 13 miles round. To Spoil a DaugAter.-1. Be always telling her how pretty she is. 2. Instil into her minden insane love for dress. 3. .Accustom her to so much pleas uro abroad that she is never happy at. borne. 4. :Mow• her to read nothing but novels. 5. Teach her all the accomplish ments, but none of the utilities of life. 6. Keep her in the darkest ignor ance of the mysteries of housekeeping. 7. Initiate her into the principle that it is vulgar to do anything fur her self. 8. To strengthen the latter belief, let her have a lady's maid. 9. And lastly, having given her such an education, marry. her to a moustach• ed bachelor, 4 . ho is a clerk on a salary of 8 . 350 a year. A Missouri Spurgeon.—During a late revival in the Baptist Church at La Grange, a lad . 17 years old, who bad ac quired some notoriety N the town as a theatrical performer, joined the church and prepared himself for the ministry. lie has recently been licensed, and has entered on his clerical duties, and so wonderful are his powers that the whole community are in ecatacies with his ef forts. When ho preaches the church is crowded; persons from all the country round about flock to hear him, and the oldest veterans declare that they never before listened to such thrilling elo quence. The name of the "boy preach er" is .3. B. Fuller.—St. Louis News. -A Spanish proverb says, that the Jews ruin themselves at, theirsasasovers, the Moors at their marriages, and the Christians at their law-suits. se-Women aro a good deal like French watches—very pretty to look at, but very difficult to regulate whon they once takelo going wrung. ArA careful eeticnate of all the per sous of Ifidiazi blood indice,tas that they number about five millions in all North America. ,1000 014 : : g. the vitKiwaked Les the ballot Laid orany man Eiv ag. .rt A4;- "TUCTII IS MIGHTY, AND WILL PREVAIL." i A Fight in Congress Sixty Years Ago. The first open fight which occurred in Congress, took place in old "Con ! gress Hull," Philadelphia, on the 15th of February, 1798. The combatants were Matthew Lyon, of Vermont, and Roger Griswold, 01 Connecticut. What was the precise nature of the difficulty between them, will "more fully appear," probably, on consulting Niles' Register, of that day ; certain it is, the parties were intensely bitter toward each oth er, and appear to have "nursed their wrath to keep it warm " for many days. On the 30th of January, 1798, the two members had high words, when Lyon deliberately spit in Griswold's face. It seems the insult was not re sented until the L'All of February en siling. On this day, Griswold on his way to the null, called at the store of John McAllister, 48 Chesnut street, and purchased a heavy cane, and entering the Hall, where he found the members in session, approached Lyon (who was sitting with his back towards him,) and dealt him three heavy blows on the hcac Lyon recovered hiinself at once, and seized a pair at' tongs, and between cane and tongs the fight was continued for some minutes. A song of those days, describing tho scene, says: lle in a trice struck Lyon thrice, Upon his head, enrag'd, sir, Who seized the tongs to ease his wrongs, And Griswold thus ensiled, sir. On the day Lyon insulted Griswold, the House appointed a Committee of Investigation. The witnesses were Sam Smith, Brooks, Dana, Homer, Colt, Goodrich, and Chipman. What aetiop the committee recommended, does not appear; probably none what ever, and hence Griswold sought his own remedy. The fracas afterwards was nlso made the subject of investiga tion, but neither member was expelled. "Mutual explanations" were probably As touch in vogue in those days as new. The Gulf Stream. There is a river in the 'wean. In the severest <lronghts it never fails, and in the mightiest floods it never overflows. Its bank and its bottoms are of cold water, while its current is of warm. The Gulf of Mexico is its fiyintain, and its month is in the Arctic !Seas. It is the Gull* Stream. There is in the world no other such majestic flow of waters. Its current is more rapid than the Mis sissippi or the mazon, and its volume more than a thousand times greater, Its waters, as far out from the Golf us the Carolina coat•ts, are of an indigo blue. They are so distinctively mark• cd, that this line junction with the com mon sea-water may be traced by the eye. Often one-half of the cowl may perceived floating in Gait' Stream water, white the other half is In the common water of the sea—so sharp is the line and want of affinity between these waters, and such too the relnetance, so to speak, on the part of those of the Gulf Stream to iningle With thu com mon water of the sea. disc Sidney Smith says : "It is Pot true that the world hates piety. The modest and unobtrusive piety which fills the heart with human charities, and mnke* a man gentle to others and severe to himself, is an object of univer sal love and veneration. But mankind hate the lust of power when it is veiled under thegarb ofpiety. They hate cant and hypocrisy; they hate advertisers and quacks in piety; they du not choose to be insulted; they love to tear folly and impudence from the place which should only be a sanctuary for the righteous and good." Origin of Long Beards or Goatres.--1% Hones' Everv-Day Book, vol. 1, page 3437, is the following account amongst the miracles of St. Patrick : St. Patrick had a goat ; a thief stole it and ate it, and, when accused, denied it; but the gnat bleating in the stomz►ch of the thief, proclaimed the merit of St. Patrick ; and to increase the miracle, by the sentence of the Saint, all the potiterity of the man(thicf) were mark ed with the beard of the goat." I had always Ruppot.ed that thogo who wore goatees did so from choice; but here, from excellent authority, we find they are doomed men, being the do acendenta'of the goat thieved. What a generation wu have with us.—Bustun Courier. Who Can Beat This 7—A young Indy in Portsmouth, engaged In gathuring cress, a f.w evenings ago, took fire huts dre4.l and thirty-eight staeheB in three Mill ti-vs, as follows: first minute 176, second minnte 176, r.nd third minute 186. While this may seem almost unreason able, we know it to•bo a fact, and a fact, too, that establishes the truth that the "Patent Sewing Machines" stand no chance at all !n Portsmouth.—Xorfolk Day Book. The lrisn Inuntyration.—An Irish pa per—the &Mast "flautier"--states that emigration in the present year will be much less than in previous years in con sequence of the American distress. In six mouths, it says, more persons re turned from America to 13k!lfast than emigrated from that port during the whole of 1857. At present there are but two vessels ready to sail with pas sengers for New York and Quebec, while formerly more than twenty left there with emigrants during the same season. star An exchange tolls, of an editor who went soldierieg and was chosen captain. One day at parade, iren4d of giving the orders,, f' Front face, throe paces forward," be exdititned, " Cao two dollarsa year in•advance." arorliree things wino 4laspime4.4 biawler in a iroa4hop; a 1na1401,,,,G0i, Oodles; sad a slanderer avertwisere. .4str- , " Awed.: Inv"- .16 Major Brown's Coon Story " I was down on the creek this morn ing," said Bill Gates, .' and I seed any remount of coon tracts. I think they are a goin' to be powerful plenty this season." " Oh, yet," replied Tom eaker, " I never horn tell of the likes before. The whole woods is lined with 'em. If skins is only u good price thy; season, ,bu worth somethire in the spring. Aur?'s yon live, for I've just got ono of the best coon dogs as there is in the State of Illinois." " You say you never horn toll o' the like o' the coons 7" put in Major Brown, an old veteran who had been chewing his 'tobacco in silence for the last half hour. " Why, you don't know enhy thing 'bout em If you'd come here forty years ago, 41 did, you'd a thought coops plenty ! I jlst te:i you, boys, you coud'ut go amiss for 'eta. We hardly ever thought of pesterin' em' much, for their skins worn't worth a darn with lib that is. we conld'nt get enough for 'em to pay for bkinnin'." "LI recollect one day I went out a bee huntin'. IVal.arterl d lumbered about a good while, I got kinder tired, and so I leaned up a big tree to rest. I had'nt much more'n loaned up afore somethin' give me ono of the moatull-firedest nips about the seat o'• my breeches, I ever got in my ;We. I jumped about a rod and lit a runnin', and kept on a runnin', for over a huudred yards ; when think, sea I, it's no akm a runnin,' and I'm snake-bit, but a Remain' won't do no good. I jest stops, and proceeded to examine the wound. I soon seed it was no snake bite, but thar's a blood blister pinched on me about six inches honk. " Think, sex I, that rather gits me ! What could it havb hin ? Art 7r thinkin' about it awhile I concluded to go back and look for the critter jest tier the curiosity o' tho thing. I went to the tr.'', and poked the weeds and stuff all about; but darned the thing could I see. Party soon I sees the tree has a little split a runnin' along up it., and so I Kit* to lookin' at that. Directly I sees the split open about half an inch, and thuris4shet up again ; then I sees it open and shut, and open and shot, right ohms as regular es a clock a tickiu '.— Think, sea I, what in all creation can this mean ? I know'd I'd got pinched in the split, but what in the thunder was n makin' it do it? At first I felt orfttlly scared, and thought it must be something dreadful, and then again J thought it mouten't. Next I thought about hants atid,gliosts, and about a runnin' borne and sayin' nothin'• about it; and then I thought it cou d 'nt bo enny u"em, for I'd never horn tell u' them a pesteriu' p feller right in open daylight. At last the true blood of my aneestors ria up in my veins, and told me it 'ud be cowardly to go home, and not Sind out what it was; so I lumber ed ter my axe, and swore I'd find out all about it, or blow up. When I got back, I let into the tree like blazes, and purty soon it come down and smashed all to niters; and what do you think? Whi it was rammed and jammed plum smack full o' coons, from top to bottom. Yea, sir, they's rammed in so dust, that every limo thev breathed they made the alit open."--LArter's Spirit. The Mesmeriser and the Expressman. Arfow rears ago, before the railroad companies bet w?en Albany and Buffalo had provided the long and eomfortablo cars now used by t lie mxil sgen ts and Li v ingsion & Wells Express, the messen ger of the hitter rode in the passenger cars ) " just like anybody," and of course encountered alt sorts of characters.— One of the firm whose love of waggery is well luown, happened to be going to Buffalo, and was seated quietly iu the car, when his attention was directed to the conversation of two individuals op posite. One of these, ►t appeared, was a trAveling mesn►erizer----a regular "pro. fessor" of the " science." lie w•ss di lating upon its rapid development—the wont!erful phenomena it exhibited—its astonishing curative power for disease —the extraordinary divcoveries devel oped through its agency. Filially ho got upon his own superiority as a "pro fessor,"—a congezial theme—and hero ho vas at hem). After narrating a variety of experiments—some of them astounding, of course—he spoke of the followiug_with a gusto that was irresis tible. Said he : " Last week I was going through one of' the streets of this very city—Mx...hols ter—and saw a man just ahead, to whom I was anxious •to speak. Ho walked too fast fur me t'o overtake him without running, so I just straightened oat my right arm, concentrated my will, make a pass a him—thus--and he stop ped quicker than liglafning." Wh-wh-why, mister, y-y-yon don't call that m-m-much of a trick, du your "yes, sir, I rather flatter myself that it was a pretty strong demonstratioa." " W-w-well; it don't 1/-la gin with w-what I once did." " Then you are familiar w;th the eel once, sir, 1 presume ?" " 541-A0111e." "Might I inquire , what was the mite you spoke of." " Oh, e-o-certainly. Y-y-you sea, I h-h-Happened to bo up here in .13-Batavia once in the winter. G-g-going down to the a-e-oars, I saw a m-na-man on t-t-top of a , building s-saboveling off snow; pretty s-a-soon his foot slipped, and tiowii be came, wh-wit-when ho had got about half way down, I j-j-just made p-p.pass at him, and stopped him quieip ur than p-p-powolar. - I c-c-came off withbut thinktag anything 11:141/411$*0 libous,3t: If ydio.yoa are gic:geZto- Batons, 1 w-vt.irisb you would;Just 144444 him *kV; pip-piss s h.h4isikihag r MS TWO DOLLARS A-TEAR. A Race with a Widow. 31erciftil Jehosaphat and big onions, what a time I've had with the widder. We chartered an omnibus for two on Christmas, and started. Widdcr. said I, where are we go to? She blushed, and said she didn't like to say. I told her she must say. " Well, Jehuel, if you insist upon it, and I am toinive my choice, I had rather go to church." What for, widder?" said I. "Oh, Jehuel, how can you ask me ?'' "Cause I want to lc ow," said 1. " IVell—(blushing redder than boof) —it is such cool weather now, and the nights arc awful cold, and—oh, Juhuel, I can't stand it !" "Ob, paha w, widder, spit it out; what do you mean ?" The widow riled. She Wed right over like a quart of milk on the fire, and burst out. with— 4‘ If you can't understand me, you're a heartless brute,'so you are " " Hold your horses !" said I. "What's all this about? lam not a brute, nor never was; and if a man called me that, l'd boot him sure " And then biled over, and unbuttoned my coat collar to keep me from basun' off my buttons. The widder saw I was going to explode, or else collapse my wind pipe, and she flung her arms round my neck, put her lips to mine, and cooled light down. "Jehuel, dear," said she, in an in sin ivatin' way, and 2; voice as sweet as a hand organ, "Jehuel, honey, I want to go to church to got mar—no, I can't say it all, yuu finish the word, Jehuel, ofeet." " What wgrd, marm ?" " Oh, you stupid Jell uel, dear, I mean word married, love." " Married, widder !" said I, "did you mean that ?" "Indeed I did, Jehuel, loco !" "Look here, intim, my name isn't Jehuel Love, nor Jehuel Dear, nor Jo- Itel Sweet, I'd have you know. And I wont get ,married to nobody but ono, and you aro not the she." Oh, pewter pennies, but didn't she rave! She made one dash at me; I dodged, and she went butt up against the upper end of the omnibus. Crack wt.nt her comb, and smash went that bran now bonnet that I didn't buy for her, and down she wont with her face in the straw. But in a moment eho rose again, and made one more dash at me. I dropped—she went over me and butted tho door of the omnibus. The strap broke and out she went—her gai ter boots higher than her head as she struck the pavement. " Drive on !" I yelled to the driver. " Woman overboard :" tried a pass ing sailor. "Stop that White Coat—breach of promise—reward—Ben/id—published," shrieked the widder, in tones of mortal agony, while tears of blood streamed from her beautiful pug nose. " Drive on ! drive on !" i shouted. " Where to ?" asked the driver. "To the deril—to Harlaom—to Ma oomb's. Dam—anywhere, so that we escape matrimony and the widder." lie started, so did the widder, and then wo did slide; the widder no long er gained. but, she held her own beauti fully. Thus we had it—nut past the Rod Ho h rough II arl ac n►—where Captain Graham attempted to catch 119, ho probably supposing that wo were running away with some bank fund. My only hope was in reaching Do groot's ahead of her, for I knew they would hide me. Wo were on the bridge, and', oh, Moses, the draw was up, and a sloop going through. "Dri ver", said I, "jump that bridge and I'll makeyour fortune for life, sure asyou're krn." " I'll do it, or die ho cried. And he did it. The widder jumped after us, fell into the Harluem ricer, and hasn't boon laeard of since, A Passling "Pomo." • - Properly punctuated dill"' following nonsenso bccomos sensible rhymo, and is doubtless as truo as it is curious, though as it now stands we inherit thut it, is very curious if truo I saw a pigeon making bread ; I saw a girl composed of thread ; i saw a towel one mile square ; I saw a meadow in the air; I saw a rocket walk a mile; I saw a pony make a file ; I saw a blacksmith fn a box; I saw an orange kill au ox; I saw a butcher made of steel; I saw * pert-knife dunce a reel; -- I•sitir a tailor twelre foot high ) I saw a ladder in a pie; I saw an apple fly *way; I saw • sparrow making hay ; I saw a farmer likes dog; I saw a puppy mixing grog ; 1 saw thrift men who saw these too, And will madras what I tall you. Epitaph from Potter's Field, Yew York. All you friends that passes by, Pray give a look, and ems an eye, And pray for me, for you mast die, As well asJemmy Jones—that's I. NI-The wisest period in a man's life is between eighteen and twenty-two years; after that his knowingness so falls off that by the time he reaches flf ty-fire or sixty, he makes up his mind that he is a tOol. ilifirlf.you want to gaia a wonian's af fections, don't appeal to her head, but to her feelings. One squeeze of the hand or press of the lips, is worth a dozen speeches. Calico is an institution of tench, not login. • Mirlt fulleth out kith love as it doth with line; for the young vines bring the Ingot Wion,,b,t the old.is the boot, ~#irflikv!st board 'of a widely wig 'lMO. ea irooaubt of iovid Wrrieseois irery ' "& ; A Stir4sbli But* Aa Oaten.' oftbw arbsAri: - stbuf ,. lleres4 , with distinction' in the FWitht gar, was and in -the habit.OMNl* the mess table with his yeatielmene:S: - scenes which oeinrred there. Oft * se. cent occasion, 'When snakes; alligatork and other objects of the reptile which flourish...so extensitscly in that rden of the world, bcceme the sub ect of conversation, ho related - a cir- - =mita:ice apropos to snakes, which happoned to himself. One day, said he, I shouldered my.guu, and went in pur suit of gamo. In passing through a swamp I saw something a fow foot ahead of me, lying on the ground, ' which had every appenranco orn log, it being abbot forty feet in length, and _ about a foot in diameter." So positive was I that it was nothing but a log, that I paid no attention4o it; the fact is, IT_ would have sworn before a court ofJus- tico that it was a log, and nothing else. You see I had never heard of snakes growing to such a huge dimension, add the fact, is, I never should have believed it if I had. Well, he continued, be tween mo and the log, as I took it to be, there was a miry place, which it was necessary for me to avoid. I therefore plact..4 the butt of my gun on the ground right agead of me, and sprang upon it, and lit right oa the top of— what do you suppose? . , " A boa constrieZor," said one. " No." , •: * • NO. 2s. "An Anaconda." "No." " What could it havo boon?" onquired a third. "J not what I supposed it to be—a log," said the wag. This reminds us of an old pulpit an ecdote attributed to Rowland 11111.— Two strangers passing the church in which ho was preaching, entered, walk ed up the aisle,and finding no seat,stood for a while and listened to the sermon. Presently they turned to walk out.— Before they reached the door the preacher said, "But I will tell you a story-." This arrested the strangers; and they paused, turned again and listened. "Once there was a man," said the speaker, " who said that if ho had all the axes in the world made into ono groat axe, and all the trees in the world made into one great tree, and he could wield the axe and cut down the tree, he would make it into one great wills') to, thrash those ungodly men who turn their backs upon the gosperind stop to hear a story." • The strangers thought they had beard enough to satisfy their curiosity, and resumed their walk in the street. sturA clorgyniaii was endeavoring to instruct one of his Sunday scholars a ploughboy, on the nature of miracles.— " Now, my boy," said he, " suppbse you wore to see the sun rising 'in the middle of the night, what should you call that?" "The mune, please sun" " No, but," said the clergyman, "sup. pose you knew it was not the moon, but the sun, and that you saw it actu ally rise in the middle of the night— what should you think !" " Please zur, I should think it was timo to get- - • up." The Rebuff.—D. Israeli says that "when a man has boon twice rejected by a fumalo his feelings aro sonumhat strange." ; Very likely. , Wn know some who were rejected only once and felt mighty queer about it. A Model Tenant.---" Ji mmy, gat some kindling and be makin' a fire." - " Please, sir, I earnt. Mr. O'Brien used the last banister yesterday." "The banisters gone ! Then go on the roof and try the virtue of them shingles." Exit Sammy. In a week afterwards. Mr. Murphy wants a reduction of tint--cause why, the floors leak." sir" I'm glad you like my dress," said a_young lady to a gen 1,14.. man at a lato Washington party; "it just cost sevon dollars, and I made every- stitch of it myself." Upon which Mrs. Brown, of the Agitator, remarks—" When young ladiespride themselves upon the ehiap ness of their attire, instead of its oxplbu siveness, we shall have fewer brukea father: and husbands.", bar" He who riscs late may trot alit day, but never overtake his business." So said Franklin. A coternporary says: " We have watched these fellows who aro early risers, and, as a general thing, they are the first chaps who go to the groceries in the morning. it's all non sense about the smartest, and greatest, and wisest men •being the variy•rlsoiii.," I?cmoral of .1 - boring.--The Sea ate of Mateaohnietts has concurred in the address previously adopted by thu House, requesting Gov. Banks to re move Judge Loring; and on Saturday the telegraph communicated the fin t. that the removal has been made. 'This announcement will he received with re, gret by all who respect honesty and ll deity to the laws, and will elicikap please from those only whose malice can be . appeased by nothing less' thin the sacrifice of a victim. Fur executing a law of the United States as its Cina missioner he is deprived of his position xe Judge of Probute of Sian. eufuty, Massachusetts. My son, how could you "ever marry an Irish girl V' " Why, futher, I am not able take* two women.. 113x4 marrieds Yan kee girl, I'd have been obliged to hire an Irish girl to take care of her." Mir Th e mold on decayed fruit Idaho bread, moist wood, Jo., is show* b i .the microscope to be plants,. heariushror t flowers, and seeds, and incrassuig with incredible rapidity, for in a thirlioufit the seeds spring up, arrive at mittOrity, and bring forth heeds thoutseisisiiiion that many generatioua iire pil4lpl44A a day. Sti-The onion. is a suporiosktiisiad — sets ant. Two or three bind ones, oat in halves, and p *Wile floor ' absorb the noxious nifty:F*46. i , wbioh are generated in; titotisidolobtills: in an incredibly shc i or m t ra .et:disisth.- - Thag should be che, ilitfatltetslciary six),4ltoute. ' • EMIN ~"-~~ " • : - `a BEI EWA Good." NM
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers