Diary of a New Yorker.
Rose at 7:30 a. m. Closed folding
bed.
Bathed in patent folding tub.
Oooked breakfast on collapsible elec
tric stove.
8 a. m—Left for office with 4,892,368
of my contemporaries.
8:15 to 9 a. m.—Crushed in subway.
9:01 —Crushed in elevator.
9:02 to 12 noon—At desk in office.
12 to 1 p. m. —Automatic lunchroom.
Crushed in restaurant.
I to 5 p. m. —At desk In office.
5:30 p. m.—Run over by automobile.
5:45 p. m.—Run over by street car.
6 p. m.—Home. Crushed in subway.
6:30—Dinner at popular table d'hote.
Crushed by waiter.
7 p. m.—To the movies. Crushed in
crowd.
9:80 p. m. —To drug store for soda
water. Crushed in crowd.
10 p. m.—Run over by automobile.
10:30 p. m.—Run over by street car.
II p. m. —Saw a parade. Crushed in
crowd.
12 midnight—Home to folding bed.
Crushed. — New York Sun.
To Save Vessels |From Sinking.
Interest has been aroused by an ap
paratus that has lately been developed
to save ocean vessels from sinking
after being torpedoed or damaged by
collision. The contrivance, which is
shown in Popular Mechanics Maga
zine, comprises a laminated steel disk,
to the center of which is attached a
series of rubberized canvas cone
shaped buckets. In use, the end cone
on the chain would be lowered into
the water in the vicinity of the hole
in a ship's hull. Upon being caught by
the lnrushing water, it would be pulled
through the opening. The whole string
of buckets would then be lowered along
with the disk so that the latter
would be pulled in place over the
break. The cones, being of flexible ma
terial, would be able to pass through
an aperture, regardless of Its shape.
The disk, once in place, would be held
by the pressure of the water against
the hull. . „
PEELOR & FEIT
Avvocati in cause civili e criminali
Marshall Building,
Indiana, Pa.
SI VENDE "FARM"
215 acre con case e paese vici
no. $l6 all'acra. Rivolgersi ad
R. H. Cunningham, Marshall bldg.
\
Spedite H Vostro Denaro
con i VAGLIA GARENTITT
ALLA
AGENZIA ITALIAN A
A Vast Stage.
The largest stage in the world is
that of the Grand Opera house in
Paris. It is 100 feet wide, nearly 200
feet in depth and 80 feet high. The
height is measured from the level of
the stage to the "flies." The stage of
the Metropolitan Opera house, New
York, is 101 feet wide. 89 feet deep
and 77 feet high.
Not Including Meanness.
The average human body, besides
the carbon, hydrogen, oxygen and ni
trogen of which it is chiefly composed,
contains 2% pounds of lime, 1 pound
11 ounces of phosphorus, 2 2-3 ounces
of potash, 2y 2 ounces of sodium, 1 3-5
ounces each of magnesium, sulphur and
silica and about one-sixth of an ounce
of iron.
Welcome Punishment.
Ruth was very fond of going to her
grandmother's. One day after she had
been playing with her little baby sis
ter a little roughly and her mother had
reproved her for it, she said: "Why
don't you send me to grandma's, so I
won't hurt her?"
So There Now.
"People could live on half the food
they eat at present." says a physician.
Also, perhaps get along with half the
medical advice they are in the habit
of taking.—Toronto Telegram.
She Knew How to Do It.
Little Alice, coming home from
school, said: "Oh ! mother, I've
learned to punctuate." "Well, dear,
how is it done?" asked her mother.
"Why, when you write 'Hark!' you
put a hatpin after It and when you
ask a question you put a button hook
after It," she answered.
From Lemons.
Process invented by an Italian
chemist for extracting essential oils
from citrous fruits is said not to affect
the chemical properties of the oils in
any way, and It is predicted that it
eventually will revolutionize the indus
try.
Musical Note.
A London electrician has invented
a safe that is* unlocked by a tuning
fork, the vibrations of which cause a
wire within the safe to vibrate in har
mony with them and operate the
mechanism electrically.
The Roman "Penny."
The "denarius," translated "penny,"
in each of the four gospels was the
principal silver coin of the Roman
commonwealth. From the parable of
the laborers in the vineyard it would
seem that a denarius was the ordinary
pay for a day's labor (Math. 20:2-13). DOVETE
rimuovere la vo
stra mobilia?
Per tutte le patti della
Contea o fuori. Pronto e
buon servizio.
Tom Runzo
560 Locust Street
Indiana, Pa.
a
DR. P. S. EMERSON
OSTEOMICO
Cura elettrica ed aggiusta
mento delle ossa.
33 CarpenterAve., INDIANA, PA.
GRANDE VENDITA SEMI ANNUALE
Mercanzia da uomo finissima apprezzi
veramente ridotti.
m-*r; . w
DR. C. J. DICKIE
I . DENTISTA
Room 14, second floor
Marshall building
INDIANA, PENN'A
Capano & Valenti
Creekside, Pa.
Notaio Pubblico
Spedizione di moneta in qualunque parte d'Europa
General Merchandise
Ufficio di fronte la "Sala Caneva"
—_- - .
Vestiti da tomo e Ragazzi
MODICITÀ' E OUALITA'
i
DINSMORE BROTHERS
p
Indiana, Penna.
♦♦♦ ♦♦♦ '
♦♦♦ .j.
*:* For your PHOTOGRAPHS have *
❖ X
♦> tnem taken at ♦♦♦
f
% THE GEM STUDIO $
❖
Y We Make Them to Please ***
V
♦>
♦> 730 Rhila. OPPJOOfG HOI6I Indiana,Pa, <♦
❖ *>
Costly Curlosity.
A friend of ours has handed us thii
lnterestlng definition: Curlosity—Pay
ing a thousand dollaro to see your ap
pendi*.—New Haven Register.
SI VENDE AUOMOBILE
Studebaker a 7 passeggeri in
buonissime condizioni. Rirolger
si al nostro ufficio.
#
THEIR FINAL REST TOGETHER
Soldier's Intensely Pathetic Descrip
tion of the Burial of Youthful Scot
tish Officer With His Men.
I stood one night on a certain hill
that commands the firing line in an
almost soundless panorama. Beside
me was an officer of the Seeond Ca
nadian division, who had just come
out. There that night, by its white
trail of iridescent light. we could trace
the course of the firing line for many
miles through France and Flanders.
Just to our left the line of light
jutted far out. like a lone cape into
the sea. "What is that jutting-out
place?" my friend inquired.
"That," I answered, "is the Ypres
salient, the Bloody Angle of the Brit
ish line."
To mention the name of Ypres is
to have one's memory awakened with
a veritable kaleidoscope of pictures.
That trail of light that jutted out into
the night looked like a cape, and an
iron cape it has been through months
and years of war. But the holding of
that cape has been at an awful cost,
and there was not an inch along that
trailing line of light that had not
cost its trailing line of blood.
Just after the first gas attack in
Aprii, 1915, the whole countryside was
in a panie. The roads were filled with
civilians in alarra, fleeing down coun
try, and with limbers and marching
troops hastening up. I was passing
through the town of Vlamerthigne.
which is situated two miles beyond
Ypres. In a field at the side of the
road I saw a funeral party. It con
sisted of several pioneers, serving as
grave diggers, a gray-headed Scottish
major, and a corporal's guard to act
as firing party.
I learned that this inconspicuous
group were burying the last originai
officer of a battalion of the Cameron
Highlanders. The dead officer was a
young subaltern, and the gray-haired
old major was hls father, who had
| come from another regiment to attend
the funeral of his son.
So, over in a great deep trench,
where a number of the rank and file of
, the fallen Camerons were already laid.
the body of their dead subaltern was
placed. As I saw the officer and his
men of the bonnie Highland regiment
thus laid to rest together, I thought
of the requiem of Saul and Jonathan ;
"They were beautiful in their lives,
and in their deaths they were not di
vided." —Capt. Arthur Hunt Chute, in
the North American Review.
-
Repair Ship Mysterious.
The manufacture of a large part of
machinery to replace anything broken
is almost impossible in the limited
space of the battleship's machine
shops. But wondrous feats are per
formed in the repair ships that ac
company fleets on stations remote
from dock facilities, states a British
war correspondent.
The repair ship is a huge floating
smithy and machine shop packed with
everything that the wit of man can
concentrate into the space for treat
ing wounded battleships. These ships
employ some of the best artificers
from our naval dockyards and are
scattered in every quarter in which
the British fleet is stationed remote
from dock facilities. The Boche lins
nothing like them and it has been
stated that no inquisitive Boche has
ever been allowed to intrude his nose
aboard one to investigate its mysteries
and take the information to his erti
ployers of hnw the strange feats per
formed by the repair ship are effected.
The repair ship is the abode of secrets.
Rides We ! ! at N'inety-five.
Joekeys, no matter what tl"!°ir age,
are generally referred to by those not
closely in touch with racing as "the
boy on So-and-So," but a stable "lad"
stili going well at ninety-five is cer
tainly hard to beat. There is one, as
shown by the following clipping from
the London Sportsman of recent date :
"One of the brightest and most alert
of the 'lads' ridine horses around the
paddock at Windsor prlor to their
races was old Faulkner. the grandfa
ther of the steeplechase jockey of that
name. He is ninety-five years old. His
memory is of the best and so is his
hearing. He has been connected with
horses ali his life and many a tale of
the turf he can teli."
Sailor Invents Fire Escape.
One of the boys aboard our navy's
fleet has invented a fire escape which
is similar to the rope ladders used
aboard ships. His principal object
was to provide a collapsible fire es
cape which could be compactly and
conveniently arranged at the window
of a dwelling. It consists of a con
tainer hinged to the sili in such a
manner that by opening the window
and folding the container on its hinge
the metal ladder may be unfolded
and dropped. When this opera tion is
gone through, a means is automat
ically provi ded whereby the ladder is
held at a distance from the walls*of
the building. The advantage of such
precaution is obvious.
Journalistic Dilettante.
"What's the matter with the city
editor? Two members of the staff are
holding him and he looks as if he were
about to have a fit."
"It's the fault of that wealthy 'cub'
reporter hired last week. The c. e.
told him to cover a Red Cross meeting
this afternoon and he said it would
interfere with his <rame of golf."—
Birmingham Age-Herald.
Extravagance of Economy.
"There's one form of extravagance
I'll tolerate."
"What is Itr
"I don't care how much money my
wife spends for thrift stamps."
INFLUENCED BY MUSIC
EFFECT OF SWEET STRAINS ON
DOMESTIC ANIMALS.
Lecturer Urges Farmers to Place
Phonographs Near Their Bee
Hives and Stables—Tells of
Her Own Experiences.
Farmers who want better honey,
richer milk, and more of both, should
put phonographs near the hives and
in the pasture or stable. Dr. Alma
Webster Powell, LL. 8., M. 8., A. M,
Ph. D., of New York and Columbia
university is authority for the asser
tion. She declared to an audience at
the University of Washington recent
ly, while lecturing on "Music Is a
Human Need," that she herself had
tried the experiment on her farm. and
that it had proved absolutely success
fui.
Nor are bees and cows the only
creatures influenced by music. Doc
tor Powell and her daughter keep four
or five crickets in their hearth, and
evenings they attract them forth to
a dance in the middle of the living
roora in their farm home by singing
to them. Madam Powell says she
has had many scientists as her guest s
to witness the phenomenon.
Six little crippled girls, of particu
larly unlovely natures, whom she
found in the slums of New York,
were other objects of Madam Pow
ell's study. She gave musical train
ing to these children, putting phono
graphs in their homes, and not only
succeeded in entirely reforming their
dispositions, but in effecting marked
changes in ali of those with whom
they associated.
At Coney Island, she said she ran
a tent where mobs were incited to
riot every evening by radicai
speeches. After a few months of ex
periment in this direction she intro
duced music at the meetings, and
though the speeches became more
fiery than ever the crowds were in
variably peaceful.
She contended, as a result of these
experiments, that music stirred the
sluggish and tranquilized the nervous
person, animai or insect.
Madam Powell believes in ragtime
for ali who like it, and she is one,
though a highly educated and suc
cessful prima donna soprano and pi
anist. "A good ragtime piece sets
me beating time, and if I don't do
it on the x>utside I feel it on the in
side," she said.
Gamblin' Man Led to Repentance.
During the recent revival in Ebenezer
chapel Goat Simmons, the gambling
man, "carne through" amid a thunder
ous concomitant of triumphant hosan
nas. He sprang to his feet with a loud
shout and immediately tumbled down
in a fit on the floor, where he postured
and gyrated like an unfortunate toad
in the embrace of a hot cornpopper.
An especially animated squirm sent
a couple of dice flying from the pocket
of the groveling wretch, to be followed
a moment later by another which
caused a deck of cards to be widely
scattered.
"Hallelooyer!" shouted good old
Parson Bagster. "It's de sin dat's bein'
shuck out'n our sufferin' brudder!
Shake him ag'in, Lawd!—shake him
twell ali de sin am purged fum him!"
"Dat's right, Lawd!" yelled Brother
Bogus. "Keep on uh-shakin' de scamp
twell he rattles out dem two dollahs he
won off'n me at de lodge last night!"—
Kansas City Star.
British Army's Black Bands.
At one time much of the music
played to enliven British troops was
furnished by black bandsmen. These
were first attached to the army in the
seventeenth century, owing to one of
the guards' bands having refused, in
a body, to play at an entertainment
organized by the officers.. As none of
the men were attested, they could not*
be punished for insubordination, so
the officers petitioned the duke of
York, then commander-in-chief, that
bandsmen should in future be made
subject to military law. To this the
duke would not agree, but he brou,?ht
over from Hanover for the guards a
complete German military band, whic
included negro players of the bass
drum, cymbals and triangles. Nearly
every regiment in the service has
tened to reorganize its band, engaging
colored performers for ali percussion
instruments. Down to 1841 the band
of the Scots Guards included a negro
musician.
Fear Eskfmos Slew Priests.
Advices received from Mackenzie
river valley in the Arctic circle by
the Catholic autlrorities here caused
serious alarm among friends for the
welfare of Rev. Father Jean Baptiste
Rouviere and Rev. Father Guillaume
Leroux, Catholic missionaries.
It is reporter they have been mur
dered by Eskimos in the vicinity of
Bear lake, 100 miles east of Port Nor
man. They have been engaged in that
field for several years.
News comes to Rev. Father Allard. ;
the Archbishop's secretarv, in a letter
brought from the Arctic Redriver and
Written by Rev. Father Jules M. Le
cuyer, Catholic missionary at that
point. The letter was written on Jan
uarv 15.
She Makes Him.
"Mr. Blobbins goes to church every
Sunday morning."
"I've noticed that."
' Do you suppose he will keep it up
as long as he lives?"
"That depends on whether or noi
he survives Mrs. Blobbins."
NOT HISTHEFIELD
Wail of One Whom Fate Forbiès
to Carry Sword and Shield.
Hard Hi» Lot, He Can't Get Old Bill
Meundgott—But Here at Home Ha»
Ali the Fun (?) While Othena
Fight to Crush the Hun.
The daily papers that I see ali cry
In tones of wonder, the praise of our
fine lads in France who face the Ger
man thunder; and not a single day
goes by bui some kind friend wlll hall
me, and with a two-inch line of type
wtth gestures will assail me. "My
friend." he cries. "the Yanks are
there! And that big boob. the kaiser,
wlll ali too soon their anger feel. and
sadder he and wiser ! 'Twas only yes
terday they took a mile or two of
trenches ; and soon in Berlin's park»
they'll be, a-sitting on the benches !**
Now. I don't grudge that praise a bit —
I like to hear them boasted ; 1 like to
hear onr boys in France get 1 cheered
and suiig and toast od : I wish that I
were over there and scratching at the
vermin. and now and then from time
to time I'd pot a husky German. I
would that I might lie and snooze
among the mud and thistles, and eat
cold chow and hardtack moist where
shrapnel screams and whistles. But
since I can't be over there among rajr
friends and neighbors I'U cali respect
ful notice to my own emphatic labora.
I do not heave a two-pound borob
across the German border; irtstead I
plot a diagram and keep the room in
order. I do not wear a hero's toga
nor sport a hero's mednl ; instead I
grade ten million logs and work the
hot-air pedal. I do not help to crush
the Hun with bayonet emphatic; but
I explain the why and when of flelds
electrostatic. I can't at present strofe
the Boche with shell and sword and
Are, so I'm content to teach a class
the ways of braided wlre ; and though
I pause to envy those who share the
fun heroic, I force myself to lesser
tasks with an expression stole. I do
not much enjoy the job while I ain
wading through it, but. good or bad*
the job is here and someone has to
do it ! Although I sit in peaceful
enjoying things delightful, I long for
Flanders' mud and iìeas and other tor
tures frightful. So while the papera
cheer for those who fight beyond the
ocean, I join with them my heart and
voice and register emotion. I wish
that I could be in France to battle
for our nation ; but meanwhlle how
about a bit of home appreciation? So
I just mount a near-hy chair, where
those about can view it. and give three
lusty cheers, since no one else will do
It! At least if I must sta.v at home
my courage is consistent ; I'd rather
be In France than bere, a Theory AH
eistant !—Exchange.
"Duck Boards" to Beat the Mud.
When the allied forces in Flander»
are not battiing with the Germana thejr
are trying to outwit nature. This la
the substance of a report brought back
from the firing line by Maj. Gen.
Charles Clement, U. S. A. *
Mud was a source of
annoyance to the soldiers. TSo the en
gineering force of Australia devised
what has become commonly known na
the "duck board." but which the Cana
dians have named the "bath mat ," both
being terins of derision.
The board is made of a number of
small strlps of wood, 14 to 15 inche»
in length. which are nailed to string
erà placed in front of one another and
extending for miles. A step off the
"duck board" means a plunge into a
sea of mud at least three feet in
depth.
The "board" was devised to enable
the Australiana te attack the German»
more successfuily, and it served to pro
vide a path to victory.—Popular Sci
ence Monthlv.
A Bergson Anecdote.
Like most philosophers, M. Bergson
llves a rather secluded life. His house
in Paris is as quiet-looking and retir
inp as himself. Most of his neigh
bors know him only by sight. and have
no idea of the distlnction enjoyed
throwghout the world by this unobfru
sive spruce gentleman. A short time
ago, when M. Bergson issued forth to
go to the French academy, where he
was to be formaily admitted, the
neighborhood was dazzled by a mag
nifiefjnt academieian's uniform—green
embroidered with gold leaves. a coeked
hat and a dainty sword. Then the
old coneierge of the house opposite ex
claimed : "Ah! the little old gentleman
has been called up at last. And about
time, too !" —Manchester Guardian.
Heroes Who Don't Like Worship.
That kindly. admiring and enthusf
astic visitors to hospitals in the wur
zone constitute a nuisance and added
trial to the wounded is the compiaint
of the New York Medicai Journal. The
patients don't want to be bothered
with glorifkation, stili less with the
dear. helpful souls who come to en
tertain them during the wearisome
hours of convalescence. "We know of
patients dodjring behind tents when
they saw certain ladies coming to
them,'" comments the Journal
laconi cally.
California Sardines.
Commercial of Los Angeles
says that the California sardine pack
for this year will exceed that of Maine,
which last year monnted to 2,500.000
cases. compared with 1,800.000 pack ed
in California. This paper asserts that
the fish packed in California are trae
sardines. while Maine packs a small
herring.