VISIBLE Silent TYPEWRITER No Money in Advance 1 —— SIMPLE DURABLE EFFICIENT ARTISTIC ___ ■ I 10 DAYS FREE TRIAL; EXPRESS PREPAID; PAYABLE $3 A MONTH BRANCH OFFICE OR THE Woodstock Typewriter COMPANY; IS IN. CARPENTER A.VEINUE Indiana, Pa. Another Denial. At a dinner of the Gridiron club In 1913 Thomas F. Logan of the Phila delphia Inquirer was initiated as a memler, and part of his hazing was to go about as a young reporter and in terview the guests. Then he was ques tioned concerning the results. "Did you interview the secretary of war?" he was asked. 4r Yes." "What did he say?" "He denies it" "What does he deny?' "Why, what I asked him, and he said it didn't make any difference what; it was the immemorial custom of the war department to deny everything."—Ar thur W. Dunn's "Gridiron Nights." All Wrong. The popular actor had become a sol dier. In a hotly contested skirmish he distinguished himself by his courage end gallantry. "Well, well," said he at the end of the action, "what do you think of that? Not a soul's applauding."—New York Past Head For Business. "Has your boy Josh a head for busi ness?" "Yep." replied Farmer Cnrntosse 1 . "He's always talkin" about makin' money. I *-' nd o' wish his hands was as good fur work as his head is fur (uwinoa"~ Washington Star. The EMer Booth. A theatrical man, in an appreciation of Junius Brutus Booth, declare# that "intellectually he stood above any ac tor of his own or any other time." In justification of this praise these claims are made. Booth had a knowledge of seamanship acquired as a midshipman, was an expert printer, had studied ia w and medicine, waa an acute theologian and spoke eight languages fluently, be sides being "the greatest actor who ver spoke the English language."—Ex change. Pictured In Worde. In 18S4 an artist finished a likeness of Emperor Franz Joseph in charac ters. forming no less than 8,000 words. Hen Trickery. Since Australia is at the antipodes from us the hens there naturally lay best from May to November, contrary to the habit of hens here. It is now sug gested that if a hen after her annual laying period in the southern hemi sphere were rushed across the equator to the United States she might lay dur ing the rest of the year at the same rate and thus establish a new "record" for a year's production. Still, it looks like a mean trick to play on a poor hen. •-Youth's Companion. Regular Visit To Indiana OF INTEREST TO EVERY SICK PERSON Dr. Rhoads, of Pittsburgh, specialist in chronic diseases, will be at the Moore Hotel, Indiana, Pa., TUESDAY, April 4, 191J from 9a.m.to 5 p. m., gi\ing all who are sick an opportunity to consult this eminent specialist free of charge and get his advice and treatment right afc your home. Dr. Rhoads has decided to visit this place by request of people living here, who otherwise would not have the chance to consult him. I ask all who need the services of an expert specialist in chronic and long-standing diseases to call and see me, consult me free of charge, get my advice, and if I find, after examining you that I cannotcure you, I will gladly tell you; and if your case is curable (and 90 per cent, with my treatment get well) Iwill accept your case. Rem ber, I make no promises that I cannot do; my rule is to give you exactly what I agree. WHAT I CURE. I cure Rheumatism, no matter how long standing I give you relief at once. tteatment removes the cause of it, purifies the olood, relieves the kidneys at once. I CURE Kidney and Bladder troubles. If you have Kidney trouble, pain in the back, urine highly colored, dark sediment, pi in along spine, weak back ami headaches, come to me and let me show you v hy I can give you a cure. Does the urine burn you, pass it too frequently, pairs in the bladder and pros trate gland ? I can relieve you at once and give you a permanent cure. This is especially the trouble with middle aged persons, and if neglected, causes more distressing pains as you grow older. 1 cure in a very short time. DO YOU SUFFER FROM STOMACH AND I IVER TROUBLES? Have you any pains after eating; does your food disagree with you; suffer from constipation and gases in the bowels ? Thei come and consult me. I will cure you in one month—complete restoration t - health. My treatment is different from the old pills and nauseous medicines you have been taking. It cures. SKIN AND BLOOD DISEASES If you have blood poison, which causes eruptions, pimples, sore throat, ecze ma and all rash and sores, no matter how long you have been sick, I can cure you of the disease, many cases with one treatment. DISEASES OF WOMEN I positively cure all unnatural conditions that 5 ou may be suffering from My home treatment has been used by thousands with benefits in every case. Come and let me advise you; a cure awaits you. DISEASES OF MEN. YOUNG MEN—I especially invite men who are sick, nervous, weak, de spondent, loss of ambition, no desire for work or pleasure, I want you to call and get my special advice. I cure blood diseases, weakness, ulcers, loss of ambition, nervous debility, lack of energy, and all special diseases of a private nature. Consult me confidentially and I assure you a permanent and lasting cure, no matter how long you have been sick or the nature of your disease. REMEMBER I will make regular monthly visits to your town, and no matter what your disease is, I want you to come and consult me. I have treated only chronic cases for 25 years, and if you are sick you need the advice and care of a man who has had proper training and experience to cure you. CONSULTATION FREE—Date is Tuesday, April 4, 9 a. m. to 5 p. m. A Powerful Stimulant By OSCAR COX "Miss Brown, ef yo' don" miud 1 '.ike to have yo" come take keer o* de ciiil len. Ma wife's powerful weak and can't do nothin' at all. She's goin' ro de kospittle dis arternoon." Miss Brown, a colored girl twenty years of age, said she wouldn't mind obliging Mr. Jones. It occurred to her that if Mrs. Jones should die she might be Mrs. Jones herself. Jones was a well to do darky on the shady side of forty and had three pickaninnies. Miss Brown supported herself by washing and ironing and thought that if she could permanently change her occupa tion to taking care of a family it would be an advantage. "When do yo" want me to come, Mr. Jones?" she inquired. "Ma wife's gwine to de hospittle about 4 o'clock. Reckon yo' mought come round about half past 4." "All right. Mr. Jones; I'll be dar." Mrs. Jones was removed in the hos pital ambulance 011 time, and half an hour later Miss Brown, who was com monly called Sue by her employers, settled herself down in her place. The children were playing in the street, and Sue did not disturb them. She was taking an eye inventory of the premises and making a mental rear rangement of the furniture when Mrs. Jones would be removed from the hos pital to the cemetery. Mr. Jones, whose name, stripped of euphony, was simply Mose, returned from conveying his wife with a solemn countenance to And that Sue had prepared a cup of tea for him and had it set out on the tabl* with u piece of corn pone. "I thought yo'd come home needin' somepin to brace yo' up, Mr. Jones." said the girl. Her thoughtfulness braced up Mose as much as the refreshments. "How did yo' leave yo' po' wife?" she asked. "Porely." "Is she gwine to pull through?" "Don' know; she's powerful sick." Mrs. Jones lost instead of gained. She was worried about her children and Mose found it necessary to tell her that he had secured the services of some one to take care of them. He did not tell her that he had got a young woman, for he had seen evidences al ready that she was expecting to step into his wife's shoes, and he knew that this would worry her. Perhaps it would have gone well with Sue had she curbed- her impa tience. Though Mrs. Jones was report ed getting weaker every day, she hung on in a very aggravating way. Sue got tired asking Mose after his visits to the hospital how he had found his wife, hearing only the repetition, "Porely. very porely; she's gwine down hill pow erful fast." So it occurred to the gir! to go to the hospital and ask questions on her own account. She bought a live cent posy and, appearing at the hospi tal door, was received by an attendant. "Tell Mrs. Jones," she said, offering the posy, "dat a frien' ob de family brought her de flowers and hopes she's gettin' better." The attendant took the flowers and was turning away when Sue asked: "Mrs. Jones mighty sick?" "She's very low." "Not long to lib, 1 reckon?" "Not long." " 'Bout how long she gwine to las'?" "The doctor doesn't expect her to live the week out." Sue took her departure, greatly com forted. The attendant took the posy fo Mrs. Jones with the message. Mrs. Jones was too ill to appreciate the kind attention, but the faculty of curiosity had not yet deserted her, and she asked if the frier ' of the family had left a name. The nurse said she had not, whereupon Mrs. Jones asked for a de scription of her and was told that she was a trim colored girl about twenty years old. That night a hurry caJl was sent for Mose to come to the hospital to see his wife before she (lied. Mose obeyed the summons and found the invalid in a state of collapse. When told that her husband was there she rallied, and Mose went to her bedside. "Mose." she said, "tak' good care ob de chilleu when I'm daid." "Sartiu." "Gib all my frien's my lub, and thank de eull'd gal fo' de flowers she bruug me de udder day." "Wha' eull'd gal?" "Dunno. She said she was a frien' of de family." "I wond'r"— Mose checked himself, but too late. Urged to tell what he wondered at. he admitted that Sue might have left the flowers, and when asked who Sue was he admitted that she was the woman who was taking care of the children. Perhaps it was Mose's evident desire to keep something back. At any rate, the mother took fright. She raised her self with marvelous strength consid ering her condition and between the nurse and her husband got the story, including some admissions from the latter as to Sue's kind solicitude in his behalf. "Yo' Mose," she said, "yo' waitin' fo' me to die to marry dat gal!" "I hain't no seeh thing." "De gal's waitin' fo' me to die to marry yo'. Yo' s'pose I gwine to turn my chillen ober to a gal like dat? No. sah. I's gwine to get well. Call de ambulance. I's gwine home right off." She was not permitted to carry out her assertion, bnt she rallied from that moment and a week later was back in her own domicile. Miss Brown was warned by Mose of her coming and departed In time to avoid a scene. Indiana Couple Celebrated Golden Wedding Day \ } . ■• , > J v '' ; ; ijjpfi ;■ ■ ;! v -. I'!\ "" .:. ~ ; > - 1i J : • '"■ J • • ■ ; ..," : " \ ■ ■ ■'. , Mr. and Mrs. John R. Ryraii, of South Fifth street, on Monday celebrated their Golden Wedding. Mr. and Mrs. Bryan were remembered with a quantity of beautiful flow ers, $6O in gold, china and linen. A magnificent turkey dinner was served by Mrs. Yuckenberg. How Much Iron Can We Make? Iron furnaces of this country, in eluding all in blast or idle, could, ac cording to the Iron Age. "appawutly produce about 40.000.000 tons if they remained in blast a year." This would be 9.000,000 tons above the maximum calendar year output. The Iron Age doubts, however, if all the furnaces could stay in blast a full year, and suggests a trifle over 35,000,000 tons as maximum capacity. Very Annoying. "I can't bear these men novelists," declared one lady. "Why not?" the other inquired. "They calmly tell you that the hero ine wore a gown which fascinated a duke and not a word as to what it was made of or how it was trimmed." Louisville Courier-Journal. Untrue. "Your leading lady is not true to life." "What's the matter?" "In the first act she receives a tele gram, and you have her open it with out fear or trembling."—Detroit Free Press Make yourself an honest man. and then yon may be sure there is one vess rascal in the world.—Carlyle. Don't Worry. Mrs. Wullaby—De agent says if we ain't got de rent nex' Monday we's got to git out. Sam Wullaby—Nex' Mon day? Den we doan' need to worry to' de nex' fo' days.—Puck. There are only two roads by which any Important goal can be reached — sheer strength and perseverance.- Goethe. Descriptive. "Freddy," said the visitor, "I hear your father gave you a watch for your birthday. Was It a hunting case watch ?" "No, ma'am," replied Freddy; "it was a bare faced watch." —Chicago News. Three Rivers. Nansemond, the name of a river in Virginia, is from the Indian word Nawnschimund, "the place from which we were driven away." The Fiint, in Michigan, was lied by the Indians Perwonigo, "ti v Iver of the flint," from the abuiv ace of this stone on Its banks. H" river, in Nevada, was named by Fremont in honor of Baron Humboldt. SAVED BY HIS BIBLE U™ " surnrg. as " H< <>*>. .ccwse! ST it ABK ■jft-k- 1 ,a -""i ti.lasers • ■ • a ■ *'■ ■ ■■■ ■ ■ ■" ■"■ w —M "W 9 m * ■ a we=M A bullet Intended for the heart of Gunner Burgoyne of the British army entered the back of a Bible he was carrying in his pocket, penetrated to the first chapter of St. Mark's gospel, and its nose rested on a celluloid bookmark In the form of a flora! cross. The Great Eastern. The dimensions of the one time world famous Great Eastern were as fol lows; Length. (J92 feet; width, 83 feet; depth, CO feet; tonnage. 24.000 tons; draft when unloaded. 20 feet; when loaded, 30 feet. She had paddle wheels flfty-six feet in diameter and was also provided with a four bladed screw pro peller of twenty-four feet diameter. She had accommodations for 800 first class. 2,000 second class and 1,200 third class passengers, 4,000 In all. Her speed was about eighteen miles an hour. The Great Eastern was finally broken up for old iron In the year 1889 after a checkered career of some thirty-one years. Arms and the Men. "I see you have your arm in a sling," said the inquisitive passenger. "Bro ken, is it?" "Yes. sir." responded the other pas senger. "Meet with an accident?' "No. Broke it while I was trying to pat myself on the back." "Great Scott! What for?" "For minding my own business." "I see. Never could happen to me, could It?" "No." "And if it did 1 wouldn't be blame fool enough to tell it." Then there was silence in the car.— Chicago Tribune. Animal Etiquette. No one who is at all observant of the ways of animals can have failed to notice how gentle large dogs, like the St. Bernard and the Great Dane, are to their smaller canine fellows. It la rare that a big dog turns upon one of the little fellows, no matter how aggravating and snappy the latter may, be. Instead, he invariably treats the small dog's antics with unruffled and dignified tolerance. For there Is a recognized code of etiquette among animals, If you please, quit© as much as there is among human beluga. In truth, there are not a few respeals in which the animals can give points on politeness and good behavior to man himself. The Burden of Golf. Golfer (with a full bag, looking for a caddie) —I say. my friend, do you hap pen to know of any one who— Near sighted Villager (testily)—No, I don't All the folks round here does their own umbrella repairin'.— Puck. Dr. F. A. Rhoads PITTSBURGH. PA.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers