the ■N m A weekly look at love, dating and everything in between Average numbers of drinks consumed when'partying 1 Source: Penn State Pulse, 2004 Zixin Mao/Collegjan Write in Send your responses, letters or questions for advice to the Collegian at thefineline@psu.edu. Any submissions should be less than 200 words and include your phone number for verification. i F«M*j Milkshak I with ANY purchase $ 3.50 a greater nmidillkii l | Not valid during TUESDAY’S Kids Eat Free Night 5-BPM I .ill • I JM I NOW ACCEPTED! |Ww MFnKv3S | The Ultimate I tanJß^i I 11 Scissions Only $34.99 j g|Oays Unlimited Only $44.9jy SHE $Ai9 For love and beer Sometimes she’s just in it for the drink, not the man I THINK WE ALL KNOW that girls have the upper hand when it comes to partying. I’m not saying it’s right, but every girl can recall a time when she went out on a limb to secure a brew. By pairing our uncanny tal ent for flirta tion with the art of per suasion, we girls are left with the abil ity to get anything that we want. Just this weekend I found myself in a situ ation which called for my expert ise in this area. A few of my friends and I rolled up to a party where the line for the keg stretched on forever. I didn’t even want to think about waiting that long for beer, let alone actually do it. So, I scoped out the scene and spot ted a perfect candidate for oper ation Get Brady Beer. I struck up a conversation, making a point to comment on his Yankees hat, letting him know that I, too, am a fan of the best baseball team ever. I explained to him that I was simply too parched to wait in line, and within minutes, I had this boy filling my cup and bring ing it to me on the couch where I was waiting with my girls. All it took was a few friendly words and an effortless wink to solve Brady Dollard HE SAID Ladies prove teamwork gets job done Like a ravenous hyena, she watches her prey. She watches as he walks to the bar. She watches as he gets a drink. She watches as he spills the drink all over himself. She’s hooked. So she gets on her cell phone and calls the brigade oven “Girls, I need back-up. I’ve got a live one.” The unsus pecting male does not real ize he is now the target of the pack. The ladies put on their game faces and spring into Chris Muller action. “Like, oh my god, do you see my friend over there? She thinks you’re so hot —you should go talk to her!” Kristen Perkins/Collegian Photo Illustration When the world seems to shine like you’ve had too much wine.. .that’s amore. my problem of the moment. At a bar, frat, or house party, the same rules apply. At a frat, boys spend crazy money on beer and parties which will only be successful if I think the ladies are really onto something with this concept. Girls use the more cunning, and frankly, the more effective strategy. When girls get a hold of alcohol usually in the form of extra sweet berry yummy-gummy schnapps they always employ the same snare tactics. The “A” team assembles, much to the sur prise of the unsuspecting male, and slowly closes in on him. When guys drink, however, they turn into lone wolves. They go for the gold with their chosen female target of the evening, or more accurately, the girl they have been eyeing up for the last 10 min utes. And so begins the courting process the “wanna-be-my pong-partner-even-though-I- -won’t-remember-your-name-10 minutes-from-now?” process. Alcohol flips the script of the clas sic idea of the tried-and-true dat ing game. I think the ladies are really onto Free ISABELLES there are enough girls in atten dance. So we go to these parties, obligation free, and by using our keen ways, we get can beer all night, enjoy ourselves and let the boys take care of everything. something with this concept. Girls use the more cunning, and frankly, the more effective strate gy. The pack mentality prevents people from choosing a mate that may result in taking the walk of shame the next morning, rather than the stride of pride. They attack their mark with military precision that cannot be matched by mere lazy-ass guys. We’re only using slingshots, while the girls fire the heavy artillery. I guess we really just don’t care enough to try that hard. Plus, we want to have ammo to make fim of our compadres. We’ll make sure to give our grinning seal of approval if one of our bud dies asks for an opinion on a not so-flattering girl. TVust me, I’ve been there giving words of fake encouragement and a hearty thumbs-up to one of my unfortu- for PSU The same standard applies to the way in which girls acquire drinks when they are out on the town. At a bar, a little eye contact can go a long way in the intoxi cation department. Once a girl is looking good, and her charm switch is turned on, she has nothing to worry about I know that guys don’t want to hear this, and that most girls don’t want to admit it but plainly put, girls use random guys for drinks and make them think that it will pay off a the end of the night. These random guys know that they are being used to a certain extent but sometimes are not aware that these girls have ruled them out before the first wink is exchanged. They think that the girl’s flirtatious acts combined with the alcohol they supply will ultimately lead to a late night escapade. Sorry to break it to you guys, but most of the time, we are not interested in any such thing. Usually we are just guilty of leading guys on in order to access their resources. By the end of the night, the guy is sure he has secured a little lovin’, but we are sure that we’ve secured a good drunk and are ready to go home...alone. So, fellas, the next time you spot a hot girl at the bar and decide to buy her a drink, remember that you are paying for some liquor and not a ticket to go downtown. Brady Bollard is a sophomore majoring in marketing and a Collegian columnist. Her e-mail is bzdlo9@psu.edu. nate pals who’s hitting on Chewbacca. This is why we try to pursue a lady by ourselves we can’t trust our friends to have our backs. As the fairer sex, it’s in ladies’ nature to help their friends. Us? We’d rather have a hilarious' story for the next morning. Another bonus to the pack mentality is the lessening of the effects of beer goggles. Normally, if a girl is making a play for a guy that isn’t up to par, the rest of her team will remove her from harm’s way. Girls are good wingladies like that So here’s the bottom line guys: It’s time for us to stop looking for a good laugh and start looking out for each other. The girls here do it, and so should we. Yeah, it’s great when your buddy makes an ill-advised hookup, but as I always say, it’s all fun and games until you wake up next to a Wookiee. Chris Muller is a sophomore majoring in Journalism and is a Collegian colum nist. His e-mail is cmm4s7@psu.edu. i 5? THE DI6I T A L ***** | COLLEGIAN .■sar- ‘Easter ‘Dinner Students @ BEAD SHOPPE! ‘Time: 12pm-6pm Street 234-1060 Spats, Weis, Autoport, Rider Olds, iera, The Churches of State College, , Giant, W.S. Lee General Store, McLanahan’s, and Starbuck’s! WOICES How do you think alcohol affects relationships, dating or meeting people in college? “Sometimes you meet people you wouldn’t consider good people. You can’t really make informed decisions when you’re drunk” Tla Gamble senior- industrial engineering “I have a lot of friends who have been cheated on when their boyfriends were drunk, because they didn’t know what they were doing. When you drink, you really aren’t yourself.” Jenny Storch sophomore- human development and family studies “[Alcohol] screws things up because it makes you stupid. Things come out that you’d normally keep quiet, and you say them outloud.” Ben Burgoyne junior- architectural engineering “You usually meet people at parties and it’s easier to talk to people, but alcohol facilitates relationship violence.” Laura Chesslo sophomore- psychology “People act differently when alcohol is involved. Some people may be more loud and outgoing and can meet people easier. People are less shy.” Stephanie Zendlock sophomore- nutrition - Compiled by Rachel Loeb Photos by Daniel Freel jL. 3 T 3 QJ 3 cn O,
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers