Editorial opinion Old people would do well to heed an old Simon and Garfunkel line "preserve your memories, they’re all that’s left you." Old people suffer from lack of affection and sickness. They are the forgotten poor and the victims of society’s attitude that anything old is useless. The old in Pennsylvania also suffer from red tape. Two years ago, the citizens of Pennsylvania approved a $lOO million bond issue to save the state’s nursing homes. The money was to be used to renovate the homes to comply with the federal Life Safety Codes, a com 'FOLLOWING MOM»y...'WHO WfcSIVS MPSf I©GAJKI^BV Issues go, men America is in deep trouble. Our present political candidates are almost totally bankrupt of leadership capabilities. Unless a darkhorse clinches the presidential nomination and elec tion, the fiasco of the 1972 presidential race will repeat itself. This year's batch of hopefuls is a good example. Although Rockefeller denies presidential aspirations this year, he is a perennial candidate who should not be allowed to run in the first place, because he is divorced. Anybody who can’t run his own household can’t run a country. Worse than that, he’s too damn rich. He might sell Michigan to GM and his other wealthy cronies. Ronald Reagan is another un desirable. He never won an oscar. How can this gentleman expect us to believe him competent to play the most im portant theatrical role of all U.S. President? The fact that Jimmy Carter is even running shows this gentleman's colossal gall. Anyone who raises peanuts will - doubtless sell his country for them as well. Not only this, but he could never have afforded to personally pay for ail that bridgework in his mouth. He had to have .embezzled public funds to pay for this multi-million dollar project done by Old problem prehensive ' guide regulating everything from plumbing to the width of doors. But within these past two years, 72 Pennsylvania nursing homes have been forced to close their doors, mostly because they simply didn’t have the money to comply with the safety regulations. The very bond issue which was to result in safer nursing homes has failed miserably and allowed the situation for old people to wor sen. 'Only six per cent of the $lOO million actually went into the nur- the Georgia State Dental and Tooth Authority. Four more, years of Gerald Ford is a hideous thought. Surely his intentions are good, and being an ex-AII-American football player his honesty is unquestioned, but he's just too clumsy. ’lf he can create havoc attempting to walk down a flight of stairs, what catastrophe can he cause flopping all over nuclear buttons in the Pentagon’s War Room? Mike DeSimone His real problem, though, is his reliance on that Kissinger character, a crafty you-know-what with a German accent who has illusions of world domination by the you-know-whos In the back of his mind. ' PENNSYLVANIA SENATE \m\ pi) , UJE’RE GOING- TO GET THIS PASSED HV THEBE VET i ...... - sing homes it was meant to save. The Pennsylvania Department of Health admits that it has made its loans far too slowly and far too carefully. Of 53 applications for funds given final approval only 17 have gone through the red tape. Surely two years is more than enough time to pump money into more than 17 nursing homes when there.must be hundreds in need of the funds. The Department of Health should get its program moving. It should let loose the money meant to help old people who cannot always help themselves. Beauty boosters paint illusions Externalism is a cinema-induced, hallucinatory condition that is addictive, pleasant and, for some humans, practically the only reason for their existence. Let me explain. When talking movies came along, they inadvertently taught the immigrants how to speak English. That was probably the first example of using film as a teaching instrument. It was the greatest single beneficial deed film ever did, for anyone. (The only exception being the fact that Jimmy Carter learned how to smile by spending ten hours at a Doris Day film festival, although I’m not sure you can. call the result beneficial.) But the movie makers were not educators at heart; they were in this business for the money and for no other reason. So they made films that they knew would make them filthy rich. They ground out the stuff people wanted to see. A little tinsel, some glitter and glamour, fancy fashions and beautiful facades all dazzled and 'amazed the huddled masses. The movies gave the teeming refuse left by the Great Depression what it didn't have, namely,- adventure, beauty and wealth. The movies used externals to cover up anything that was messy or ugly. And the audience loved it. Externalism in the movies meant being dressed in the highest fashion, throwing money around like you owned the U.S. mint and having the biggest everything. Cars, houses, bankrolls, corporations were all better if they were bigger. The stars were all big stars. They paraded in front of the audience like remain For the same reason, Ted Kennedy must not occupy the Oval Office. Being Catholic, he probably will make this country a gift to Paul VI at Christmas, putting America under the subjugation of an Italian prince. Being a cripple, George Wallace is unthinkable. The idea of an American president being wheeled around like a dinner a la carte is a mortifying one. Right? These personal insights are not hampered by such ephemeral things as political issues or a candidate's political record. Bleeding heart liberals should realize that issues are unimportant in voting for a candidate. Issues come and go, but the man remains. The candidate's political record is equally inane. You don't look at the man's record on television when he delivers a State of the Union address. A candidate must look like the em bodiment of American culture and ideals and act likewise. The ideal candidate is one who is agile, a bit of a swinger, has no strong religious affiliations to color his decisions, no big business interests, doesn’t eat peanuts and has a not-too toothy grin. Someone like Cheetah. • gods, 20 feet high on the big, white screen. The theaters were palaces or, more appropriately, temples with crystal chandeliers hanging from gold leaf Sistine ceilings where the people could come and worship the stars. It was different from church only in that there was no collection plate but instead a booth out front where you gave your offering. Being’external if you are not in the movies was and is slightly different. Destitution and inflation have curbed spending money on luxuries, although we all usually live beyond our means. The hypnotic qualities of big objects still linger today. We continue to build larger and larger buidlings and bridges, whether we need them or not. We desire to be the biggest country in the world; if not in land area, then certainly in power and influence. The vastness of the universe fascinates us so we take pic tures of space. Extraordinary female breasts and male genitals fascinate us so we take pictures of them also. The pictures of astronomical bodies reveal some of the secrets of the universe. The Letters to the Editor Thanks TO THE EDITOR: A faculty member, Sherry Willis; a staff member, Agnes Cogoli and a student, Joe Greenwood have each been visiting individuals at Centre Crest Nursing Home for three years. Countless other campus related individuals have over a year or semester brought pleasure to us. Four teams, from the Volunteer Service Center upder the coordination of Nancy Denair, are now bringing weekly ac tivities to areas of our building. Clever favors, musical programs and the like have enriched our days. Thesexontributions to Centre Crest people are so great that there seems no way we can properly say “thank you.” The joy evidenced by the residents and the interest and concern shown by the Volunteers are beautiful to see. Our sincere thanks'to all of you who have volunteered and to the “Volunteer Service Center" who made, so much of It posssible Rumor TO THE EDITOR: If these rumors purporting that the Collegian is the best college newspaper in the Northeast hold any validity, the other papers in the region must be pretty poor. Chris Yurkoskl 9th-math Undercover TO THE EDITOR: I am forced to agree with Mr. Jacob's and Mr. Hansen’s comments last Thursday regarding coverage of student events by the Collegian. It has been my experience tliat the events most often covered in the newspaper have usually been of a novel or unusual variety, or of one of the larger, more well known campus organizations, rather than events that may have more interest to the student readership as a whole. For example: So far this, year, three records of local or national standing have been or are being broken as I write this. The IFC broke it’s own record for donations collected at the Dance Marathon for Muscular Dystrophy last February; currently, the Nlttany Divers Club is trying to break the world underwater Monopoly record; and during East Week, WEHR DJ Amy Woodland broke the. campus record for non-stop broadcasting, setting a new record of 76 hours. I would like to commend your staff for coverage of these events. Two out of three ain't bad. I wonder why the radiothon received so little attention,from the Collegian news staff. Someone deemed Amy’s efforts worthy enough to send a photographer up to WEHR, yet none of the 20 or so photos he had taken have appeared in print. And after all, it was for a good cause, the American Cancer Society. However, the cause was neither of a novel or bizarre fashion, such as that of the NDC’s, nor was It sponsored by a large, well-known organization, such as the IFC. Is this a reason for not considering it newsworthy? The sad thing is, if course, that had other areas of the community other than East Halls known of the radlothon, we might have doubled or tripled the $7OO-or-so in contributions that we have raised so far the A.C.S. There was a limit to how much we could publicize the'thon'even in East Halls, let alone the rest of the University; a Collegian article could have helped immeasurably. So who lost in the end? Not WEHR, really, but the A.C.S. Rich Ziemba pictures of human bodies display anywhere from 7 to 38 inches of protoplasm and cells, and reveal nothing. Fashions, odors and' beauty aids represent the most advanced examples of externalism. The popularity of these items is growing and spreading like mold on a damp loaf of bread. They all grew from the idea that movie stars were always beautiful so whyshouldn’t you be. With a wig, some eyelashes and mascara, lipstick, a long gown and a pair of falsies, even I could look like Greta Garbo. Would you believe Herman Garbo? First of all there is fashion that changes from long to short, from solid' to plaid, from sheer to bulky, from dazzling to drab, from high heeled to negative heeled, from here to Timbuktu. They’ve got a fabric and a color for every day of the year. Paris is the capital of high fashion. Most of the things that come out of Paris look like hell. But then I couldn't tell Chateau Le Blanc 1912 from Mogen David 1975, which means I've got no taste whatsoever. The family of odors compliments the fashions. Colognes and perfumes can turn us into a hickory tree, a patch of honeysuckle or a spray of sea. These smells must confuse the rabbits and squirrels on campus who imagine that a citrus grove or a rose bush just walked by them. Toothpaste and mouthwashes also are odors. They protect others from being offended or killed by our breath. If you remember anything from this column Ann Boyce activities director Centre Crest The Collegian may be the “best college newspaper In the Northeast In 1975,” but it is not a student newspaper. It can’t be. The Collegian currently Is a college version of the local community paper that merely relays national and regional news; yet It does not serve the students as a student paper, because it's coverage of student events is at such a minimal level as to be non-existent. Buried TO THE EDITOR: For the past eight months we have tolerated the amateurish journalism that comprises The Dally Collegian. We have been alternately amused and nauseated by Inane editorials, and “objective" news articles that were obviously biased towards, the beliefs of the authors. But we have now noted an error so blatant that we cannot, In good conscience, refrain from comment. On the front page of the 4-28-76 issue, the headline stories concerned election returns: a fine display of the free elections and free press that are the basic com ponents of democracy. But buried on page four in an in nocuous corner with the crossword puzzle and the comics was an article dealing with an obvious threat to this democracy we profess to hold so dear. For those who were distracted by a search for so-called ethnic slurs in Doonesbury, the article in question dealt with a Supreme Court decision that the government can supply heroin to someone and then convict him for selling it. While we do not condone drug trafficking and have long felt that the courts should quit coddling criminals, the Implications of this decision are quite plain. Justice William J. Brennan explained quite well by stating: The government is doing nothing less than buying contraband from itself through an Intermediary and jailing the intermediary. It’s worth noting that contraband can run the gamut from heroin to untaxed cigarettes, and it’s easy to see the possibilities of liberal interpretations of this ruling. We do not feel at the present time that the government has overstepped its bounds, but the precedent has now been set and it seems to be a landmark decision. We do feel, however, that responsible journalism should not include placing an article of such obvious importance on page four whemap pearing on page one was an article entitled "New Lift-Off to Heaven Preached" which did not seem to be fit for the last page of the national Enquirer. sheila McCauley Editor BOARD OF EDITORS: MANAGING EDITOR, Janice Selinger; EDITORIAL EDITOR, Brenda Turner: EDITORIAL ASSISTANT, Sherrie Spangler; NEWS EDITOR, Bill Hannegan; ASSISTANT NEWS , EDITOR, Pamela Reasner; STATE NATIONAL NEWS EDITOR, Laurie ' Peacher; CONTRIBUTING EDITOR, Jerry Schwartz; COPY EDITORS, Deanna Finley, Mike Joseph, Phil Storey; FEATURES EDITOR, Janie Musala; SPORTS EDITOR, Brian Miller; ASSISTANT ,SPORTS EDITORS, Dave Morris, Barb Parmer; PHOTO EDITOR, Julie Cipolla; ASSISTANT PHOTO EDITORS, Eric Felack, Tom Peters; GRAPHICS EDITOR, Lynne Maimed; WEATHERMAN, Tom. Ross. ITS ME, MOUDALL remember this: never trust anyone with bad breath. Onion breathers are all liars. Only mint mouths'speak the truth. And speaking of protection, I think I should mention the deodorants. They come In three varieties: underarm, underleg and foot. They all kill odor, that is their job. They do it by masking our natural body odors. . These body odors are repusive, and without deodorants we’d aill smell like garbage. Someone would probably mistake us for the evening trash and put us out on the curb. 1 don’t want to end up on the curb so I disguise myself as a lime every morning. Asa lime I can move freely in society without harassing anyone with my natural garbage odor. The rest of the externals: the make ups, the hair products, the bottled tans, all combine with the odors and fashions to produce hallucinations. You actually begin to believe you are as beautiful as you look. Men want a'Clark Gable look, even if he was a lousy lay. Women want many different things but they all boil down to a desire for beauty. For some, the addiction for externals destroys thefn. These people are taken to a funeral home, pumped with chemicals and covered with make-up so that friends can come to the service arid' comment on how good he or she looks. (I never quite understood how anyone could say such a thing.) It seems like the only people not concerned with' ex ternals are children. They can go anywhere with snot running out of their nose and not be the least bit em barrassed. But then, they haven’t seen the movies. Ron Notarlus 4th-electrical engineering NADINE KINSEY Business Manager -/t <A' hie. Keith Millch 12th biology Tom Mlakar 9th-biology
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