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On the recent trip to Galena when the Grant
monument was unveiled, Gov. Hoard and
Chauncey M. Depew both had orations and on
their way out regaled each other with stories such
as only such raconteurs can tell. One of Gov.
Hoard's was this:
"I was down at a little clambake, near Boston,
last summer and after dinner was called to make
a speech. I started off by saying that I had eaten
so many of their low-necked clams that I was'nt
in the best of condition to make a speech. When
I used the expression 'low-necked clams,' an old
yankee, sitting directly across the table from me
whose face was long enough to enable him to eat
oats out of a churn, scowled at me and then said
in a stage whisper: 'little neck clams, little
necks not low necks. After the dinner was
over he trailed me out into the hall, and asked :
'You're from Wisconsin, aren't you ?"Yes' I
'You don't have many clams up there I reckon.'
'Well,' I said, 'we have some, but it's a good
ways to water, and in driving them across the
country their feet get sore and they don't thrive
He gave me a look that was worth a dollar and
a half, and in a tone of the utmost disgust said :
'Lord I clams ain't got no feet I'
He turned away and approaching one of my
friends, inquired: "Is that fellow Governor of
'Yes,' said my friend.
'IV-a•a-l' drawled the old man 'he may be a
blamed smart man in Wisconsin, but he is a
fool on the seashore."
At the reception given to the Governor by Dr.
and Mrs. Armsby, on the eve of his departure
from State College he repeated this anecdote by
request, and once started kept the guests on the
laugh for the balance of the evening. One of his
yarns was about the hardened old sinner who got
religion at a revival meeting in Winthrop, Maine,
and out of the abundance of his heart offered, if
he had defrauded any of his neighbors, to make
THE FREE LANCE.
restitution fourfold. About two o'clock in the
following morning he was roused from his slum
bers by a furious knocking, and leaning out of his
window discovered the town drunkard hammer
ing kindling wood out of his door. "Squire"
said his nocturnal visitor "I heard that there
prayer meetin' promise o' yours and concluded to
git here airly and avoid the rush,"
The following story will be appreciated in
State College and Bellefonte, where we pride our
selves on having governors galore, both past and
prospective. While Mr. Hoard occupied the
gubernatorial chair of the Badger state it chanced
that he was passing through a street in Milwaukee
late one night when he espied two old triends ap
proaching, one of them three sheets to the wind
and the other piloting him. "Brace up Jack"
said the sober man, "here comes the governor."
"Hic, I doan' care" replied Jack "they've got so
nowadays that they make Guvnors out of almost
Story telling is one accomplishment of a ver
satile orator. Although it is said that orators and
poets are born, not made, I notice that great
speakers have not thought it beneath them to
polish, and work over their finest flights, and
metaphors and even yarns. As Gov. Hoard ex
changed reminiscences with the President of the
College, as to Wendell Phillips, and Tom Mar
shall and Father Taylor, one could see that he
studied orators and dictionaries both, and that he
believed that art, and nature conspire to make
good speakers, just as he had shown us in the af
ternoon that heredity and attention make good
In other words success worth working for,. only
comes when it is worked for. M. J. T.
The ladies of the Otterbein University have
adopted a unique way of assisting the Athletic As
sociation by making a quilt in which they em
broider the names of all who send in donations
for athletics. Many are sending in gifts in order
to secure a place for their names on the Otterbein