rsn tcums or tiii: amehicax." H. U. MASSER, 3 PKUKnutnt JOSEPH ElSJiLY. $ I'HorniBTOH. It. It. .H.lSSKtt, Editor. OJict in Ctnlrt Alley, in the rear of II. B. Mus ter' Store.) THE" AMKKIOA.V is published every Satur day t TWO DOI.I.AK'S per annum to be paid half yearly in advance. An paper dmcunii li ned till all airearsgcs me pftiil. IN'o subscriptions received for A less period th.n six mostm. All communications or Idler on business reJating to the ollicc, to insure attention, mum he POST PAID. SULL. , t . - From Bcntley'i Miscellany. THIS WOULD OP Ot'ltSi y w. a. j. mark.. Thin worll of ours, if free from sin, Oh ! would it not he fair ! Sunshine above, and flowers beneath. Anil beauty everywhere f The sir, the earth, the waters teem With livinfl things at pliv : Glail Nature from .in hundred throats Tours her rejoicing lay. Esrh halmy hreexe that wanders hy, Whispers soma onRel tone ; And the rle.r f.mntiin have a voice Of mu'ie all their own ; Even the leaves of the fniest trees, Moved by the Zephyr's wing, Mike a low murmur of content To lit lo birds that sing. The busy bees, o'er garden flowers, A holy song attune, Joining wiih nevertirin) mirh, The minstrelsy of June; And the greil waves upon the deep, Leaping like g ants free, Add. in their hollow monotone, The chorus of the sea. There's beauty in the summer sky, W hen from the ocean bej. Like a strong mm refreshed by sleep, The Sun uplifts hi head ; And when behind the western rocks At eventide be goc, I I low autumn are the crimson clouds i That iiirtain his repose ! Are not the a. assy valleys f.iir, Deck'd in ibeir spring array 1 And th ii high hdls with lorcst did, How beautiful are they ! Look on the -e.-i, that ttirille vat. Wherewith the ear h i bound ! Even in fancy's wil.'el dreanH Can aught more glad le found Oh ! 'twere indeed a radiant world, A paradise coinple.e So radolent of lovely things. So filled with voices sweet If Sin bad not in evil hour Entered this leusaut clime, Yiehli"g ihem over unto Death Sad consequence of ciiine ! Hence it it that the choicest flowcra Full by a swift decay. And hop to which we fondly cling Pas suddenly aw .y ; Yit, 'mid idl Iritis of our life, Tbn ble-ed tliouglit is give.i, Einh i- n.'t i ur abiding place M ill's na'ive clime i Heaven ! Juihji.ism. The 1 union Spectator thus speaks of the tricks performed by a cok-brated juggler luivv in that metropolis. Among other iiic.om,re!n;nsili!c doings, lie boils four plucked pigeons in a kettle of water mspended nvcr n lire, and perfectly isolated, mi l nut fly four living bird. Ini'ii tin empty ves sel ; In; returns to their owners a score ol hand kerchiefs w ashed and ironed, that a moment be fore lay os kin"; wet in a pail ; and lie produ ced no end of hnqucts out of nil old lint that lie stamps upon and turns inside nut, each pressure or squeer.e of the linud Siring followed by n fresh supply of bunches of sweet-smelling flow ers from the old buttered lint. A young lady near us 'ent her straw bonnet, and was horrifi ed at seeing it crushed up into a ball ; but to her great relief it appeared hanging at the top of the proscenium, ami being brought down by pistol shot, she found quite undamaged. A handful of gold watches is (lung to the kick of the stage, and presently re-appear hanging from the branches of a plant that had just ben wa- j tered, and placed under a heated cover for pro curing this sort of golden fruit. Bunches of keys tb&t seem not to be out of 6ight, are found attached to the roots of a plant in a flower pot : and a head with goggle eyes, at the summons of a pistol shot, thrustd out a bunch of rings at the tip of his tongue, aud ttares with two gold watches for eyeballs, though one could huve sworn both rings and watches were under cer tain covers. Mikriacc. Marriage is a mystery . Mar riage is a lottery. Marriage is "very like a whale," and very likely to introduce you among a "pea of troubles' A respected contempora ry ohservej that marriage "is like a silk purse most ajTce&ble to bear when there is plenty in it." Marriage is like a mousetrap once get in, and you are caught, without the least pro6 ix'ct of recovering your liberty. Marriage is like a Totfc troe in full bearing" how attrac tive are its flowers ! but the bright leave tall after a season, aud the thorns alone remain. Marriage among fooU is like a boiled calf head without the accompaniment of brains. Mar riage is like a roast leg of mutton on Sunday, served up cold on Mondiiy, ditto w ith pickles 011 Tuesday, and hashed upon Wednesday. In short, marriage is a mixture, and you can hard ly taste the sweeu without imbibing some por tion of the sour. The editor of the Lowell Courier has hit up on a new and pleasant way of dissolving the Li nton, lie says that by simply transposing two letters in the word United States, we become Vntied States at ence. Absolute acquiescence in the docisiona of the Hy itlusHrr Si. r.lscly. UARTIiai'AKR. Wo noticed yesterday the fact of the arrival at the Astor House, of Professor Risley and his tittle son of six years old, and wo also al luded to their having made one of the most as tonishing escapes from the Guadaloupe earth quake that ever was recorded in verso or prose. Mr Risely has a most remarkable and original genius for elastic gymna.-tics, and his little son is a perfect prodigy. They will soon appear at the Park. Wcshall now give some remark able particulars of that great earthquake, as nearly as possible in his own words : I and my little boy had been at Point a Tctre, Gatidnlotipe, four days previous to the earth quake, which occurred on the morning of Wed nesday, the eighth of February, I was there on a short professional engagement. I was taking my lodgings at the American Coffee House, and my meals at the French Coffee House, in different plnces, according to the cus tom of that country. 'Wednesday morning the eighth, was one of the most beautiful that could be imagined the sun shone out in all its splen dor a soft find pleasant breeze came in from the sen and everything seemed in a state of natural pence and quiet. There were estimated to be about seventy fivc persons in the French Coffee House where I was taking my meals. We had all sat down to breakfast on that morning as usual, and were quietly taking our morning meal, chatting and talking freely on the thousand trivial subjects that come up on such occasions; indeed, we had nil nearly finished breakfast. For myself I had finished my breakfast, and was sitting partly sideways at the table, as ono would naturally sit alter eating conversing with the gentleman who sat opposite tome; I hnd the towel ring in my hand, turning it about, and carelessly playing with it. Thetirtt thing which attracted my attention was a sudden jar, accompanied by a rumbling sound like distant thunder. I had some two weeks before this been at Fort Royal, in the Island of .Martinique, and seen the effects of a similar visitation, and I instantly knew what it meant. So sudden 'vas the shock, that with in two seconds from the instant I first felt the jar, I looked up and saw the whole building, commencing at the farther end, falline upon the people the joits opened, and all began to come down with an awful crash. I instantly uttered the word "jump!" the gentleman who sat opposite to me, turned his head, and looked up sideway-, but never rose from his seat and at precisely the same moment, and with out waiting to turn myself about, I started from my sent, and actually jumped sideways out of the window, through glass sash and all, land in? r-onicten or twelve feet in the yard below. I think it could not have been over three to j five seconds from the instant I first felt the I jar, to the instant my feet struck tho pavement. ! My impression on touching the ground was , its indescribably rapid motion I can compare ! it to imtliing unless it might be the stive of a thrashing mill 111 its most rapiJ motion. I should judge from the distance I was thrown, first one way and then the other, that the late ral motion of the earth must have been from eleven to fourteen feet I succeeded, notwith standing, in retaining my feet for some eieht or ten seconds, till I got away from the build ing to the distance of 30 or 40 yards into an open lot of grinmd While I was walking this distance of thirty r 1 "w buildings of the whole city tumbling into one mass of ruins and also the earth opening in too lower part of the town and spouting up immense volumns of wa ter, to the height of an hundred or an hundred and fifty feet The multitudeof thoughts which passed through my mind during these few sec onds is utterly inconceivable and incredible. If there could have been any first thoughts amid such an instatancous flood, my first thought was tor my little boy. In relation to him he was not w ith me on that morning. At aUmt half past tight o'clock, Mr. Montague, a friend of mine, had by previous arrangement, called tor him, and taken him away to breakfast with some friend of his where or who it was 1 know not, and neither does tho boy know. Rut knowing tho reputation of .Mr. Montague, I of courts felt that Master John was safe, and gave mysvlf no uneasiness about h'm. Muster John tells history thus Mr. Mon tague took me to the distance of soino six or eight blocks from the Coffee House where I left my father, to the house of some friend of Mr. M's, whose name I do not know. There was a store kept under the house, and I was taken up to the second floor. There was one young lady who was playing upon the piano, and several others were also present, who had been invited there that morning. The whole party were waltzing I was also waluing with one of the ladies. Breakfast was nearly ready, and we were just going to sit down to it. A mi mute or two before this, a little boy belonging to the lady of the house, w ent up stairs w ith his grandmother, where lie had before this been playing with little wagon. mi:yr. x! '.rj UMBURY AMERICAN AND SHAMOKIN JOURNAL; ' majority, the vital principle of Republic, from which Sunbury, IVortliuinberluiid Co. The first thing which called my attention from the wait, was hearing a noise, a sort of rumbling, which I tank to be the littlo boy up stairs drawing his wagon over the floor, which had no carpet on it At tho same moment I saw n very large looking-glass which hung up against the wall in the room where I was, fall upon the floor it was broken all to pieces the sofa was upset, and the table tooand every thing in the room was all shaken and upset to gether. All the family, young ladies and all, fell upon their knees, or were thrown flat upon the flcor. I instantly made for the stairs. And as I was going to the stairs, I caught sight of a large church through the window part of it falling one way, and part the other the 6tce plo was the first thing that fell. I thought of my father, but don't remember any thing more till I found myselfin my father's arms. 1 had no senses at all after that I don't know how ( got down stairs, nor whether I got down stairs at all nor do I know where I went af ter 1 got out of doors, nor how long it was be fore I was in the arms of my father. I had no hat on ; the buttons were torn from my clothes, and my clothes too were badly torn. 1 was not otherwise hurt. Mr. Risley says When I recovered my con sciousness, 1 found the towel ring crushed in my hand, and my boy in my arms, how he came there I know not, nor does he know, nor are we ever likely to know what brought us together forat that time there was no living being in sight. We seemed to have been saved purely by the miraculous preservation of the Almighty. As to my own clothes, my coat was laterally torn ofl of me ; my watch was mashed in my pock et, both sides of it being broken in, my vest it pen and torn, and my pantaloons badly injured. I was obliged to borrow clothes to get out of the place. My hair was completely filled w ith lime, and 1 was altogether covered with dust and dirt I received however no visible wound, but for two weeks was very sore, and hardly a- blc to use my limbs. By the time I had esca ped to the distance of the thirty yards which I spoke of, the violence of the first 6hock had seemed to abate a very little, but was almost instantaneously renewed again, with far grea ter violence than before ; and then it was that I lost all consciousness, until I found my boy in my arms. When I thus partially recovered my senses, I first began to feel the arms and limbs of my child, to see if any of thctn were broken, and finding that we were both of us safe and sound, I got up and begnn to look about me. I was still so entirely bewildered that I scarcely knew what had happened, or whether it were not all a dream. I then began to look about me, and saw varicus individuals, men, wo men and children, of all classes and ages, wan dering about half frnntic like myself. Some w ere in search of a son or o daughter others of a father or a mother some brothers and sis ters others of friends and relatives all weep ing or in the utmost conceivable ugonj pitch' ing and falling about the ruins and dead bodies. They would go from one dead body to another, overhauling them te see if they could fmd the person sought for and if not successful, pass on to another. At this time the whole city was one vast pile of ruins, the awful appearance of which it is ut tcrly impossible to give even the faintest idea. Even the place and direction of the streets were in many cases wholly obliterated, and could not be found. Subterranean fires now began to burst forth iu different parts of the city, consuming every thing combustible, and a'6o destroying a great number of pcraont who might otherwise have been saved. At this time also the earth opened along the line of the wharves, as I aflerwsrds learned from other persons, throwing up volumes of wa ter, and then gradually closing again and sup posed to have swallowed up a great number of individuals. Everybody immediately went to work, negroes, sailors, and all, to dig out the dead and the dying from the ruins, wherever they heard cries of distress. In one instance we succeeded in very neirly extracting a man from the ruins having gotten him all out except his legs and the lower part of his body, when tho fire broke out and burnt him to death before our eyes. At the same time and place we could distinctly hear the cries of eight or ten others, who had been overwhelmed in the same ruins, end who were all consumed in the subterranean fire. I call it a subterranean fire because it is well known that few of these houses in that country were like to huve any fire in them at thaltime. From the place where I first recovered my consciousness, I suppose 1 could have thrown a stone over at least HK)deud aud dyiiiL'. As to the w hole number of persons who ultimately perished by that earthquake, I should judge there must have been from ten to fifteen thou sand 1 have uo doubt fifteen thousand. The population of the town was said to be about 'J,V 000, and I could never see over S or 3 thousand persons of the whole population, who were out end about, looking for their friend. there U no appial but to force, the vital priuciplo Pa. Saturday, June 3, IS 13. On tho morning of Friday, tho 10th, I was forwarded by the Mayor of Point a I'etre, who was fortunately saved, in a man-of-war, to St. Pierre, of Martinique, where I was very kindly received by P. A. Do Crany, the American Consul of that tortn. Ho had, the day before I arrived, fitted out a vessel loaded w ith provis ions and other necessaries at his own expense, and de.potched it to the relief of tho sufferers at Toint a I'etre. A'. 1'. Herald. tVltnllns;ofv Mew Zrnlnn4. Tho whale-boats are admirably adapted for the purpose for which they are intended. They are of various constructions, and are des;gnoted as English, French, or American ; each has some peculiarity to recommend it. They arc capable of resisting the rough sea of Cook's Straits, but are at the same time swift and buo yant, vv hen startmgon a whaling expedition, the boats leave Te-awe-ili before the dawn of the morning. Each has cither five or six oars, and a crew accordingly. The boat-stearer and the headman are the principal men in the boat, and are generally Europeans ; tho rest are na tives. They pull to tho entrance of Tory Chan nel, where a view opens over Cook'B Straits and Cloudy Bay fmm the southern headland, where they keep a 'look-out' for the spouting of a whale. The boat which kills the calf claims tho cow, even though it should have been kil led by another boat's crew. If a whale has been killed, the different boats assist in tow ing it toTe-awa-iti. I once saw ten or twelve bouts towing a whale. Each boat bad a little find, and the scene way gay and animated. One day a calf had been killed, and the cow, having been fastened upon but not despatched, was towed inside the channel. Gaspinir in the ago ny of death, the tortured animal, when close lo our ship, threw up jets of blood, which dyed the sea all round ; and, beating about his tail, it broke a boat right in the middle, and threw the crew into the water; but at length died, ex hausted from the many wounds which the irons and harpoons had inflicted. The calf was sta ted by the sailors to be six weeks old, (on what grounds I do not know,) and was about thirty- four feet long. It was cut up in a few minutes, ana gave several turrets ot oil. t he process was so rapid, that when I came asfioro I found only the head. I cut out the brains, the weight of which, amounting to five pounds and one ounce, astonished me greatly. The whalebone wassolt, and therefore useless. There were two hundred plates of it on each side of the roof of the tipper jaw. I got the w hole roof cut off, and, intended to dry and preserve it, I placed it on the roof of a neighboring house, but on the following morn ing I bad the mortification to find that the rats and native dogs had found their way to it in the night and had eaten all tho softer parts so that the rest fell to pieces. A portion of the heart of this calf was roasted and sent to our table. In taste I found it very like beef, but it is dark er in color. The cow was sixty feet long, and measured between the fins on the bell v eighty two inches. Her skin was velvet-like black, with the exception of n milkwhite Fpot round the navel. As regards the color of the whale I have rw-en assured that it issometiines speck led ; nnd that even perfect albinos, or cream colored onps are seen, which must indeed ho beautiful animals. The fit or blubber of this whale was nine inches thick, and yielded eight tons and a ha'fofoil. Whales have been known to yield twelve or thirteen tons ; but I have been told, that so large a quantity is now rare ly obtained, from the great tlecreaso of the whales. A whale which yields nine tons is at present regarded as a very good one. The tongue was of a white or ash color, and black ish toward tho roots. This organ gave several barrels of oil, and is a monopoly of the 'tonguei,' or 'cutter-in.' Tho latter operation is porionn cd ut Te-wa-iti, near the shores, where, by means of a windlass, the whale is raised to the surface of tho water under a scaffold called a 'shears.' The blubber is cut ortin square pieces by means of a sharp spade ; it is then carried to the shore, and immediately put into tho try ing pots. The 'cutting-tip' of a whale, sccun dan artrm, is a process which requires great proficiency, like that of the skilful dissector, who separates the cutis, and with it ot once all fut and cellular tissue, from the subjacent uiue!es. In the whale the blubber is to be re garded as the cutis, in the cellular structure of which the oily matter has been deposited. Shortly otter the death of the full the epider mis come off in large pieces, looking like oi led and dried satin. Dicfjeuhath't Traveli in .Veto Zeuland. Xtravaowza XTMAouniRT. Charles X., x King of France, was xtravagan'ly xtolled, but is xceedingly xeerated. He xhtbited xtra ordinary xcellence in ligency ; ho was xem plury iu xlernals, but xtriiisic on xamination ; he was xatic under xhnrtation, xtreme in xcite inent, and xtraordiunry in xtcinpore xpre-sions. Ho was xpotriated for his xcesses, and, to xpa tiate bis xtravagance, xiled and xpired in x- I i!e. at" '1 m "iw .gi.f3RJLlf jijx. Jt-msujMUs?; and immediate parent of despotism. Jrrnsso. Vol. 3 'o. 3Wliolc So, 110. Cl.EVINOF.n, THE SfVI TTOn AN III WlFE A foreign correspondent of the Ohio State Jour nal gives the following : "I never in my life became acquainted with a more interesting family than that of Mr. Cle- vinger, Sculptor. Clevingcr nnd his wifo are both natives of Ohio. He was, I believe, for several vnsrs a common stone-cutter l and nor- haps if he had not been placed to that very bu- 1 I siness, the fire of his genius would never have born LindiP.1. .nd th- nohl, .rt of ..,nt,,ri. would have been deorivfid of the briThtest lus- r tre which that genius is shedding tinon it It r 1 is said that there is no native artist living who models Nature wi'h more accuracy and spirit than he, and I believe there can be noonemore detcrnvned to build up a name and reputation that shall liveafler him. His wife is as am bitious and enthusias ir ss he, and is in all res pects just such a wife as such on artist should have. She is pretty, kind-hearted and i'ltelli gcnt.und so industrious that she takes tho man agement of the household business and the education ol her two cl.il.lrenentirely upon her- sell relieving her husband trom all responsi- Mimes and anxieties nut ot his studio. I hey arc both great tavontes with all Americans who go to r lorence ; and I hope that they will remain there till you and I can pay them a vi sit together." A.n Anuv or Cnn.DRE!. As children natu rally imitate the actions and manners of adults about them, when the crusades were the theme of every tongue they often wished to become pilgrims and knights errant In the year 1C12 many thousands of boys and girls abindoued their homes, not only in France, but in Genua ny and Italy, giving out that they were bent up on delivering the Holy Land. The eldest were not more than eighteen. It was in vain that their parents attempted to restrain them. They watched opportunities of escape, and got away by making holes in the walls ; and sallied forth from the paternal mansion with as much joy as if they had been going to a festival. The fate of these unhappy children, as may be supposed was unfortunate; they were entrapped in num- bers by merchants of Venice, Genoa, and Mar- seilles, who were at that time engaged in the infamous traffic of supplying the seraglios of the East with children. A great many were shipped in the Mediterranean ports, and many died of hunger and fatigue in the long journics to which they had voluntarily devoted them selves, but for which their strength was utterly inadequate. Throw away the last new novel, (says a writer in a late number of the Quarterly Re view.) Go with me through these dark lanes, blind court", into the damp cellars and fa mished garrets, where poverty, vice, and crime are crowded together, layer upon layer, where breeds the corruption that pollutes our moril atmosphere. Here, my friend, is a volume that may excite you here is a work which you may read. Forget your luxury ; forget your luxurious ease; blush for your repinings, your sentimental whimperings, your vapours and in digestion, and remember that you are men and women, and that it is our business to make this earth a paradise, and every human heart a meet temple for tho living God. To the Ladies The following article to raise flowers in a peculiar manner, is inserted for yonr special benefit, with a hope that you will try it. Ami'kfmft for Votxo Ladics. To ob tain different flowers from the same stem. Split a small twig of elder bush l-rngthwise, and having scoped out the p ft. fill each of the compartments with seeds of flowers efditf lent sorts, but tth ch blo-ioi i' m:' jioic f:ne, surround ih'-m with in uld ; iui: t'.cu ly.iitT to gether the two halves of th ! a 1 ; ' e.t the whole in a pot fi led with e nt i ri ;.erly prepared The stems of the d tTercnt fl w rs will tin n b so incorporated us to exhibit to too i ye only the stem throwing out branches covered wiih flower analsgous to tho seed which produced them. Tnr Difffki:m f. The difference between a repitMic and a monarchy : Pile all the people into a pyramid, with tho President for an apex, and you have tho symbol of a republic. You can shako the President, but yu can't move the united force of the people. Invert that pyramid, with a King for its base, and you have the symbol of a monarchy Trp up that King, end the who'e structure falls iu confu sion." A Mati-kiai. PiFFFRFNt k. A clergyman of a country vdl'.e desired his clerk to give no lice that there would be no service in tho after noon, as he was 'going to officiate for another clergyman." The clerk, as soon as the service was ended, called out, "I am desired to give notice that there will be noserttce this after noon, as Mr. I. is going a fishing with another clergyman !" Mr. I.., of course, corrected the acswar.l yt amusing blunder. 1'iticusor AQvi.itTiMXf:. 1 square 1 insertion, ... ft) Ml 1 do 3 do . . .0 7 I 1 do 3 di .... 1 on rJvsry subsequent inertl. n, . . (I 5 Yearly Advertisements r ons column, JS5 ) hnlf column, ft S, three squares, $11 1 two squares, f 9 one square, fS. Halt-yearly t one colamn, (18 ; half column, (13 t three squares, $ 8 ( two squares, Sji one square, S3 AO. Advertisements left without directions at lo the) leniith of limn they are to be published, will t continued until ordered out, and charged accord inRly. (jrixtcen lines make a square. H ands Ort. A young damsel was going to a party, when her mother charged her to keep the beaux at a respectable distance. You may let them convcrso with you as much as you please, but make them keep theTr "hands off." Miss went to the party, and was highly de "?r,lcu WU1 ono rTBllanI wm WM "!. w Pul "is arms around her neck. She repulsed t i . Its ",8 vances, "tea -nana, on, sir . i.o Ewa numol7 Ior wo P"vego minS vrT on one cheek. 'Oh yes, you may , . , , ... . .... . "lw me mucn you Ple"e' "."" . i i j a ft ,nm "7 7" mu "CP our mwu ou- There is now living, near Georgetown Heights, D. C, a lady, aged near 100, who is the only person in the District, wo believe, says the "Capitol," that can and has said, "Arise, daughter go and see your daughter for Tour laughter's daughter has a daughter. I.ro.vt. rr.Rsr-tct'tTV tn a recent booV on Chancery Practice, vol. 1. p 12-5, is the follow. ing chi ice spec men of legal perspicuity : ..V,Pn p,.r!,ori j9 bound fo do a thing, and he ,j0C3 wllBl mBy enftolo nim , j0 the tningt n8 j, 9,ippfV,P, j equity to rfo it with a view of Joing what he is bound to do t Short but EFrrcrrAt. DiitErrtoXi ton va mot's Ends. To embitter Jomcrtic life Maintain your opinion on small matters at tho point of the bayonet. TV tcrure yourself against a tandii har ing Call men hard names before you have signified them. Malice, envy, and rev nge, often, like Ua man erect their own gal'owe. Lauies of fashion starve their happiness tn feed their vanity, and their love to feed their pride and pinch their stomachs to prevent waist t PaLMahos. "Pray, eir," said the Judge to a bankrupt brought up to be discharged on his petition "Pray, sir, how could you wilfully, and with your eyes open, contract such a num. ber of debts without any visible means of pay. ing them 1" "Why, Judge," said the petition er, "you labr under a great mistake I have) never in my life ronlrae.ltd a debt ; on the con. trary, I have invariably done every thing to I enlarge them " A butcher about to kill a cow, employed Patrick to hold her. Tho butcher squinted, and when looking at the cow, appeared to loolt at the man. Pat, fearing he should get knock, cd down instead of tho cow, said in much of a hurry, "Shtire, man, do you strike were yon luck! " "To be sure I do ; w here do you think I'd strike 1" "Then you may how Id tho cow yourself till I get out of the way, jist." F am JonNstNO. I'm 'stonished, Pete, at da want of taste in the conundrum committee, mine was dejected. Pete 'Jeeted ! What was it? Sam Why is Sam Johnsing's flame Dinah, like a kind ob cloth dey make in Lowell 1 Pete Darker, no guess dat. Sam Coz she'san unblearhed shce-ting. Pete Well, you'll get her, and instead ot one cup, you'll be a couple. "I expect," said a young physician just enter ing on the practice of medicine, "to see a good many death-beds " "No doubt," said his friend, "if you should have much practice." A Good Retort. An Athenian who was lame in one root, on joining the army, being laughed at by the soldiery on account of his lameness, said " am here to fight, not to run. ' I low must Jony ha' felt when the wait swallowed him V "Sort o' down in the mouth, I Vpose." Matrimonial Coli-oqut. Husband, 1 don't know w here that boy got his bad temper not from me, I'm sure " "No, my dear, for 1 tluti't perceive that you've lost any." An Irishman says that some old topers srs) walking volcanoes, and the carbuncles on theif noses are erupt ions of the cralur. Gettixo On. "Sam, how mnny logs have you sawed, eh !" "Why, Ma'um, when I get this and three other ones dune, I'll have sawed four 1" Why is a pig in a parlor like a house on fl e Becau-e the sooner it's put out the better When is a lady like a trout I When she takes a fly that brings her to the bank. Why is the sun likes good loaf! Because it's light when it rises Why is a bird a greedy creature ! Because it never eats less than peck. When is a fowl's neck like a bell 1 When its rung for dinner Why is'nt a boy like t prett ben net 1 Because one becomes a woman and tha other don't "Why is a jewsharp like a woman !" Ans j Because itivnolbicg without the tongue.
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