nmis or Tin: .!rinitic?.tx. HGNRY B. MA8SER, Pi ntiaHtas and JOSEPH EISEI.Y. $ PnomiiTons. It. It. JMSSKIt' Editor. orrici is MARKET rrnsitT, ntia heem. THE" AM ERICA V in published every Satur day at TWO DOLLARS per annum lo be paid half yearly in advance. No paper discontin ued till a Lb arrearages are paiJ. No subscriptions received for leat period than ait mosth. All communications or letters on business relating to the office, to insure attention, must be TOST PAID. Front Tait'i Magazine. Crnah t h Afghtnnl Crnxh the Afjjhaun ! Why does he dara To claim man's birth-right and be freal Go slay him in hia mountain lair, To teach him magnanimity. Tell him about your gentle creed. Good will and Peace to wildcat horde ; And preach it while Ida heart shall bleed, Revenge the grace that plunged your aword. AVhat in he, the bold Moslem thiff. Rude (ibelier, lihuddist, blind Hindu t All but your orthodox belief He darea lo have : wants freedom too ! Lifts lit hia sword 'gainst British wrong ? I'lurka he the lion by the mane ! The Rebel! Ia not Britain strong;! Sweep forth hia race from hill and plaint (in, crush the Afhaun ! Auk him why He, dog, prefers hit wi l to youia! Kail many a slate 'nealh ev'ry sky, Youi mighty Helotry endures ; Toils to till your cheating coffers, Your bondage feels, nor dares to aich ; Who are Afghauns ! Cru.-h the scoffers. They dare refuse ! Then let them die. Pomp of empire, Moot! cemented ! Witness ye orphans', widows' tears; Sliife by tieachfry fomented, Proud eoniuels of a thousand years; Can the mountain jackalls tarnish All your glorious King array ? Cbistian l.ove is glazing varnish, Shout out Revenge ! like Clitistiana slay. Kind, you wished to ease the burden Which Freedom's independence gave; lie, for bonds of steel and burden, Took all the promists you gave. Still" necked ! not to trust you better, Freedom, a free man loves to be, He broke your pious Christian f tier, And you denounced for tyranny. 80, crush the. Afghaun ! now be bruited Throughout your realm, with noble Krt, Magnanimously spurred and booted, HiJe down his children spoil their sport. Strew bonea lo bleach, and skulls to whiten, In every gorge round Afghaun'a thione; And, your triumphal march to heighten, lit cartful thai they're not your own. Kewwatkr. A newspaper taken in a fam ily seems lo shed a gleam ot intelligence around. It gives the children a taste for reading it ; it communicates all the important events in the business world ; it is a never-failing source of amusement, ami furnishes a fund of instruction which will never be exhausted. Every fami ly, however poor, if they w ish to hold a place in the rank of intelligent beings, should take at least one newspaper. And the man who, pos sessed, of property sufficient to make himself easy for life, 6tirroundcd by children eager for knowledge, is instigated by the vile spirit of cupidity, and neglects to subscribe to a newpv per, is deficient in the duties of 11 parent or a pood citizen, and is deserving of censure of his intelligent ncijjhbors. I positively never knew a man in the country who was too poor to take a newspaper. Yet two or three even respectable people read no news papers but what they borrow. As I speak gener ally, 1 hope I offend none, if I do, the greater the necessity to epcak out, Every man is able conveniently to take a weekly newspaper; the cost is four centa a w eek. How many who think themselves too poor to take a paper, pay as much daily for drink. Miserable man, thou art nor indeed. Dr. Franklin. Incident at Nahant. Mrrmaidt. As two gentlemen of the press, named Totn and Frank, were sauntering among the rocks, they discov ered two beautiful mermaids .-porting in the wa ter, close to the beach. Delighted and aston ished at such a discovery, for a moment they v ere at a lost what to do. Rocovtring, howev er, from their first surprise, they retired behind h rock, where they could see, and not be seen by these divinities of the ocean, Said Tom, 'Xow Frank, out with your note book, and write what 1 dictate ; my organs of preemption ure larger than yours. Arc you ready !" "All ready," whispered Frank. "Write then 'Two ineriiiuids up to their waists in water.' Have you got that clown !" 'Yes,' replied Frank. Add then, 'long hair of auburn hue, slightly tinged with ocean green towards the ends ; fa ces round as a full moon, and white as and whitens " 'utid white as what !' demanded Frank, impatiently. '-Why, white as a moon beam ; eyes bright as lightning ; mouth, cheeks, nose, &c, beyond the reach of Johnson, Wslkcr & Co.; bosoms &c., oh Iird :" Here they were iiiterrnptad by a stout elderly gentleman, armed with a tail hickory stick,, who seized Tom by the shoulder, and demanded! in a rough voice, what he wasalxait. '(), dear sir,' lepli etl Turn, imploringly, 'don't make a noise you will frighten the mermaids.' 'Mtrinuidg 1 vils,' roared the old gentleman ; they ure my daughter, and if you don't vanish in a twink ling, I will make this tall hickory ring almut your ears.' 'Nufsetl,' growled Tom and Frank, pnd were among the misting quick an thought SUNBUffiY AMERICAN. AND SHAMOKIN JOUKNAL. so utc acquiescence in the decisions of the Long Life, l rmn Jxtrd lincoiin hittory nf Life anil Death. The long lives of men mentioned in heathen authors have no great certainty in them ; both for the intermixture of fables, whereunto those kinds of relations were very prone, and for their false calculation of years. Certainly of the E pyptinns we find nothing of moment in those works that are extant, as touching long life ; tor their kings which reigned longest did not exceed fifty, or fivc-and-fifty years; which is no great matter, seeing many at this day attain to those years. Hut the Arcadian kings arc fabulously rejiorted to have lived very long. Surely that country was mountainous, full of flocks of slieep, and brought forth most whole some food, notwithstanding, seeing Pan was their god, we may conceive that all things a botit them were anic and vain, and subject to fables. Solon of Athens, the lawgiver, and one of the seven wise men lived above eighty years, a man of high cotirage, but popular, and affected to his country ; also learned, given to pleasures, and a soft knd of life. Epitncndes, the Cretiau is reported to have lived a hundred and filly seven years : the matter is mixed with a pro digious relation, for fifty-seven of those years he is said lo hive slept in a cave. Half an age after, Xenoplion, the Colophnnian, lived a him dred and two years, or rather more ; for at the age ot twenty-five years he left his country, seventy-scven complete years he travelled, and after that returned ; but hjw long he lived after his return appears not ; a man no less wander ing in mind tlun in body ; - for his name was changed for the madness of his opinions, from Xcnophanes; lo Xcnomaucs ; a man no doubt ot vast conceit, and that minded nothing Iwt infinitum. Anacrcon, the poet, lived eighty years, and somewhat better, a man lascivious voluptuous, and given to drink. Pindanis, the Thcban, lived to eighty years ; a poet of high fancy, singular in his conceits, and a great adorer of the pods. Sophocles, the Athenian, attained to the same age ; a lofty tragic poet, given over entirely to writing, and neglectful of his family. Georgias, the Sicilian, was a hundred and eight years old ; a rhetorician, and a great laiastcr of his fncnlty, one that taught youth for profit lie had seen many countries, and a lit tle before his death, said that he had done no thing worthy of blame t-ince he wns an old man. Protagoras, of Abdcra, saw ninety years of age. This man was likewise a rhetorician, but professed not so much to teach the lilieral arts, as the art of governing commonwealths and states; notwithstanding he wns a gTeat wanderer in the world, no less than Georgias, 1 socrates, the Athenian, lived ninety-eight years ; he was a rhetorician also, but an ex ceeding modest man, one that shunned the pub lic light, and oponed his s-chool only in his own house. Dcinocritns, of Abdcra, reached to a hundred and nine years; he was a great phi losopher, and, if ever any man amongst the Grecians, a true naturalist, a surveyor of ma ny countries, but much more of nature ; nlsoa dilligent searcher into experiments, and (as Aristotle objected against him) one that follow ed similitudes more than the love of arguments. Diogenes, the Sinopean, lived ninety years ; a man that used liberty over others, but tyran ized over himself, a coarse diet, and of much patience. Zcno, of Citium, lacked about two years of a hundred ; a man of high mind, and a contemner of other men's opinions ; also of a great acutcness, but yet not troublesome, choos ing rather to take men's minds than to enforce them. The like whereof afterwards was in Seneca. Plato, the Athenian, attained to eighty-one years; a man of a pood courage, but yet a lover of case, in his notions sublime, and of a fancy, neat and delicate in his lile, rather calm than merry, and one that carried a kind of mnjesty in his countenance. The year of onr Iml seventy-six, falling in to the time of Vespasian, is memorable; in which we shall find, as it were, a calendur of long-lived men ; for that year there was a taxing : (now a taxinp is the most authentieal and truest informer touching the ages r,f men ;) and in that jwirt of Italy, which lieth between the Apnvnine mountains and the river Po, there were found a hundred and four and-twenty per sons that either equalled or exceeded a hundred years of age; namely, of a hundred years, jnst filty-four persons ; of a hundred and ten, fifty seven persons ; of a hundred and five-aiul-twcn-ty, two only ; of n hundred and thirty, four men ; of a hundred and 1ve-aiid-thirty,or seventy-and thirty, four more; of a hundred and fully, three men. Besides these, l'arina, in particular uf forded five, whereof three fulfilled a hundred and twenty years, and two a hundred and thir ty. Brussels hlliirded one of a hundred and twenty-live years old. Plaectitia one, ugetl one hundred thirty-aud-oiic. Faventia one woman jngedouc hundred iliirty-and-two. A certain I town, then called Velleiatiuin, situate in the j lulls about I'luceiitia, atlorded ten, w hereof six majority, (he vital principle of Republics, from which iiiibiir, Iorlliiiiiilcilain1 Co. ful filed a hundred ami ten years of age, four a hundred anil twenty, lastly, Uimini, one of a hundred and filly years, whose name was Mar cus Aponius. That our catalogue might not be extended too much in length we have thought fit, as well in those whom we linvc rehearsed, as in those w hom we shall rehearse, to ofler none under eighty years of age. Now wc lmve nflixed to every one a true and short character or eulo gy; but of that sort w hereunto, in our judge ment, length length of life (which is not a little subject in the manners and fortunes of men) hath some relation, and that in a two fold respect; cither that such kind of men are for the most part long livers, or that such men may sometimes be of long life, though other wise not well disposed for it Semiramis. Secure on the throne, Scmiramis thought only of eclising the glory of her husband, and her first act was to build the city of Babylon, the same, we nre told, of which the ruins still excite the astonishment of travellers, and the magnificence of which, according to the a"., count preserved from Ctcsias, is calculated to excite doubt even more than amazement Nor w ere her splendid works confined to the me tropolis. The hanks of the Euphrates and Ti gris were cmliellishcd with towns; and the commerce of her empire was improved by vaii- j ous judicious measures, as were iU agricultural resources by the canals which she caused to lie formed. I laving completed her operations in Mesopotamia, Semiramis assembled a vast ar my, mid marching into Media, left there also magnificent monuments of her power and tr.sle, and where, during the completion of these works, according to some authors, she abandon ed herself to a life of the most yroflipate vice and luxury. But, arousing from Ibis disgrace ful sloth, she visited the whole of her Asiatic dominions, and, passing thence through Egypt added the greater part of l.idya to her wide territories. From thence she marched to re duce Ethiopa, and, having settled affairs in that quarter, she aenin entered Asia, and reposed for a while ntllactra. But tranquility had no charms for this restless conqueror. The wealth and prosperity of distant India exciled her am bition ; she longed to view its wonders, to pos sess its riches, and, therefore, she resolved lo invade it. To an immense army were added J000 vessels for navigating the Indus, carried to the banks of the river on camels, together w ith the hides of :t00,000 black oxen, mado in to artifiical elephants, formed for the purose ot familiarizing her cavalry with the sight of these animals, as well as to terrify the Indians ami encourage her own troops by a show of the counterfeit quadrupeds. The preparation made by Strabrobatcs, the sovereign of India, tor repelling this alarming invasion were such as became a powerful prince jealous of his independence, and indignant at an unprovoked apgression. It was asserted that he gathered together a far greater army than Semiramis commanded, and, adding con tumely to defiance, upbraided hjp enemy with her infamous course of life, and threatened, should his arms be successful, to put her to a cruel death. She smiled at his threats, and advanced to the Indus. 'He doea not know mo yet,' said she ; 'he will soon have an opportu nity of judping me by my actions and detri ment' But the height of her fortune anil the limit of her empire had now been reached. A temporary success rendered her liold ; and, de coyed across tho river, over which she con structed a bridge of boats, she came to a deci sive action with the Indian King. Her artificial elephants could not w ithstand the shock of the true ones, and, being wound ed in a combat hand to hand with Strabrobatcs, she was forced to recrosa the stream, with a third part ot her army. This was the last of her enterprises. Her own son, desirous to an ticipate the prediction of an oracle, w hich de clared 'that she should, at a certain eriod dis appear from the eyes of men, sent it eunuch to assassinate her. She forgave him the attempt siirreiniereti ties ic 11 into ins tiantis. ami was translated from earth, as was asserted, in the form of a dove, a Hock of which birds had set tied hi the moment upon her palace. Such af ter a glorious and successful reign of forty-two years, and a life of sixty-two, was the end of the celebrated Semirainis. LUlinbuta L'ubintt JAbrary. Is k Bad Fix. The Picayune says : We saw a man going dow n Royal street yesterday as uncomfortably otfas any poor devil we have seen lately. He hail a bundle viulvr and a la dy ;! each arm, a parasol in each hand, a pair of gloves in his mouth, and a little dog belong ing probably to one of the ladies, w as trotting along utter, and every now and then jumping up and trying to catch the skirts of his coat We pitietl the fellow some. The most beautiful thing in nature is man cliating hia hut in a gale of w ind. a fat there is no apn at but to force, the vital principle Ia. Suturriay, August 30, is 12. (ilm-lnna t 11m lulnly nf the l.nvr, III a certain town in Normandy, the authori ties (for divers good reasons thereunto moving) thought proper to issue a proclamation to the etr-ctthat none of the worthy inhabitants, tinder a severe penalty, should stir abroad after sunset without a lantern. Well, it chanced on the ve ry some evening, a man was seized and taken incontinently before the dispenser of justice, to be dealt with according to the new law. I am e.vcedingly sorry,' said the chief officer, recognizing the individual, 'that a citizen of your respectability and station should b the first to infringe the new regulations.' '1 would not willingly do so,' said the man, coolly!' 'Have you not read it !' 'Certainly,' replied the captured party 'but many nave unfortunately misunderstood it Will Monsieur oblige nic by leading it, that I may learn of what I am guilty !' The officer graciously complied and, after glibingly running over the verbose statement, came to the point "that no inhabitant shall stir abroad after sunset without a lantern,' which he certainly delivered with peculiar emphasis, lo the admiration of the fellow who had taken the man into custody, who was twirling his fin gers, impatient to receive his moiety of the fine. '1 have a lantern, Monsieur,' firmly contend ed the man, holding it up to view. 'Yes, hut there is no candle in it,' replied the officer, with a smile. 'The pneftmation does not mention a can dle, I believe. Monsieur,' replied tho cunning fellow, respectfully. 'A candle ! but of course 'began the infor mer, trembling lest he should lose the fish he had hooked. 'It docs not mention a candle and I contend, Monsieur, I have not infringed then the law,' persisted the qiiibblcr. 'The words are 'with out a lantcrn,and here it is,' 'Hem !' cried the officer, endeavoring to con ceal the confusion occasioned by his defeat, by hiring over the copy of the proclamation. 'I must confess there is an omission, and I am happy to give you the benefit of it The case is dismissed. The informer w as not only defeated, but ra ther alarmed, when the pris-mer called to mind a certain action which rendered him, the afore said informant, liable to heavy damages for false imprisonment, Slc, and the poor fellow was fain lo avert the infliction of an action ot the law by disturbing a certain sum in hard cash to the accused. Bntlolon the next evening he again en countered his 'dear a"quaiiitancc,' and to his in finite delight, he IteheM the snmeunilltiaiinated lantern in his hand; for an amended proclama tion had been issued that morning, with the words, 'that no inhabitant should stir arboad without a lantern and a candle therein.' The informer chuckled at the ignorance of the man w ho had so coolly victimised him on the preceding night, and w ith a heart beating with the desire of revenge, and a certain pros pect of the restitution ofthe mulct which he had suffered, he with a sneering politeness reques ted the honor of his company lo the justice room. 'Really it is impossible to resist the amiable importunity of a gentleman who pays suchdeli cate compliments such good coin :' replied the man ; and away he walked chatting good hutnoredly and joking with liis delighted cap tor. 'What, again ! cried the officer. '1 hope Monsieur will do mc the honor to remember that my former appearance here was only against my inclination, but even a gainst the law,' said the prisoner. 'Really these proceedings are very vexatious ami 'Have you read the proclamation !' interrup ted the otlicer. 'Monsieur did me the favor to read it only last night, ami ' 'I will read it again for your edification,' re plied the oflicer; and he looked lurtively at the informer, who could scarcely contain him self for very joy. The amended proclamation was read. The accused stood placidly smiling at the rigmarole verbiage ; but when tho officer read the the con cluding words, 'that 110 inhabitant should stir abroad without a lantern and a candle,' he stu rted, 'Ha !' cried the informer, unable longer to re strain his feelings. How very, wry unfortunate,' cried the de linquent, and quickly opening his lantern, eon tinned, 'Ii t here is a caudle. How ibrlU' nate ! 'But it is not lighted,' exclaimed the inform er, with an uncontrollable agitation. 'It is not lighted, nor lias it been, as the wick itself proves ! 'lantern and candle! a lantern and a candle ! rojieated the man, 'I appeal to the justice of Monsieur that there was nut such a word as ami immediate parent of despotism. .Itrmnaov. Vol. 1I--X0. VIA II. liqhlril c.ititllc in any part of thai respecictl doc unit'iit.' This was a clincher! The parties were com pletely outwitted, while, to abate the fever of the informer's extraordinary excitement the man charitably repeated the 'bleeding,' which he hail so ellit'tually performed on the former occasion. Of cotirso the lawyers lost no time in 'aincndiug't'ic amended proclamation, and inserted lightid In-fore the word 'candlr.' Tine Grtr.uonuN or Ni:w Stvi.k. Pope (iregory the XII, made a reformation ofthe Calendar, or old style, which had, before that time, liecn in general use all over EuroM?. The year according to the Julian calendar, consisted of IWlTi days and fi hours ; which H hours being one fourth part of a day, the com mon year consisted of IMVt days, and every fourth year one day was added to the month of February, which made each of those years .'Vsi days; they are usually called leap yesrs. This computation, tho' near the truth, is more than the solar year by 11 minutes, which in 131 years amount to a whole day. By which the vernal equinox was anticipated 10 days, from the time ofthe general council of Nice, held in the year of the Christian era, to the time of Pope Gregory; who, therefore, caused 10 days to bo taken out of the month of Octolier, in l.XJ, to make the equinox fall on the lst of March, as it did at the time of that council. And to prevent the like vari ation in future, he ordered that 3 days should le abated in every -UK years, by reducing the leap years at the close of cacli century, for II successive centuries, to common years and retaining the leap years at the close of each fourth century only. This was at that time esteemed as exactly conformable to the true solar year, but Dr. llalley makes the solar year to be WXi days, 5 hours and 4" minutes, 5-1 seconds, 41 thirds, 24 fourths, and SI fifths; according lo' which in 4(9 years, the Julian yearof ;k'ii 3 d. 1 h. and 5T min. which is near two hours, so that in 50ccn tnrics it will amount to a day. Although the Gregorian calender or new style had long been used throughout the great est part of fitiropo, it did not lake place in Great Britain and America, until the 1st of January, 1T.V2 ; and in September following, the 11 days were adjusted by calling the 3d day of that month the 1 It It and continuing the rest in this order. Thik:t W'ohm. Among the novelties in nature which we saw in Charleston, was a small worm called the trinket worm, character ized by this peculiarity, which gave rise to its name. On the leaves of a wild vine, called the trinket vine, is found in a small worm, which looks at first like a small piece of thread, and is almost motionless. It the leaf be taken off anil placed under a glass case in a room, this little thread w ill, in the short space of twenty-four hours, grow into a good sized cat erpiller, beautifully colored, and studded with goldou spots. When matured it will climb up the glass, fasten one of its extremities to the ghss roof, and leaving the other depending in the air, w ill curl itself into a great variety of forms, presenting exqnsite tterns for good trinkets, such as earrings broaches, clasis, vV c, and varying these from time to time in great diversity, -from whence its name. lturkinghain. Coon llivr. The ccWbrated Dr. Abernethy said : "I tell you, honestly, what I think is the whole cause ofthe complicated maladies of the human frame; it is their gormandizing, and stuffing, and stimulating the digestive organs to excess, thereby creating irritation. The state of their minds is another grand cause the fidpeting and discontenting themselves about that which cannot be helped passions of all kinds malignant passions and world ly cares pressing iqkin the mind, disturb the central action, and do a ereat deal of harm." These are excellent hints for the present un settled times. Mim.kk, the milleniuiii man, w ho proposes to burn up the world some time during the next year the same world w hich is at this time living merely upon sullerance, he having postponed its conflagration a year or two since appears to be going on pnspertHily and gaining proselytes in any number at the east ward. The winding up of the world r is actu ally to take place in 143, howevcr.aiid his fol lower lately erected a splendid tent at Con cord, N. 11., in order to live in it no as to be "in at the death." A storm, having prostrated their marques, they have 'removed their quar ters into a valley where there is less wind, and where they will not be so liable to in terruption. The human heart, in its weakness and noble sympathies, resembles a broken harp, which never plays a perfect tune, but mingles strains ot' the swcvlcbl melody with many discoid. i'kicks op aim i:utiixg. 1 square 1 insertion, . . fo f0 1 do 2 do . . . 0 75 I do 3 do . . 1 (10 T.v-ny subsequent insertion, . 0 2ft Yearly Advertisements, (with the privilege ol alteration) one column S5 j half column, f18, three squares, $12 two squares, 9 ; one square, tS. Without the privilege, of alteration a liberal discount will be made. Advertisements Ictl without directions as to the lenqlh of lime tbey are to be published, will be continued until ordered out, and charged accord ingly. Cj"!iteen lines make a square Married In Spite Af their Tretli. A Ciioh k Amw ixite. Old Governor Salton- stall, ot Connecticut, who huurished some for ty years since, was a man of some humor, as well ns perseverance, in affecting the ends he desired. Among other anecdotes told of him by tin? New London people, the place w here he resided, is the fiillowiiig : Ofthe various sects which have flourished for their day, and then ceased to exist, was one known as the Rogerites : so called from their founder, a John, or Tom, or some oilier Rogers, w hp settled not far from the gwdly tow n afore said. The distinguished tenet ofthe soct was their denial ofthe propriety and scrifilumlily of the form of marriage. 'It is not good fur man to be alone.' This they believed, and also that, one wife only should "cleave to her husband,' hut then this should bo a matter ofagroement merely, and the couple should come together as a man ad wife, dispensing with all forms of the marriage covenant. The old Governor u sed frequently to call upon Rogers, and Ulk the matterover w ith him, mid endeavor to convince him ofthe impropriety of living with Sarah as he did. But neither John nor Sarah would give up to the argument. It was a matter of conscience with tlietn they were very happy together as they were of what use then could a mere form be! Sup jtosetliey would thereby escape scandal ; were they not bound "to take tip the cross," and live according to tire rules of the religion they professed ! The Governor's logic was jhjvv erlcss. Ho was in iho neighhorhiKsl of John 0110 day, and meeting with linn, accepted an invi tation to dine with him. The conversation as usual turned upon the old subject 'Now, John,'" says the Governor, after a long discussion ofthe point, 'why will you not mar ry Sarah ! Have you not taken her to be your lawful wife !' Yes, certainly, 'replied John, 'but my con science will not permit me lo marry her in Iho foim of the world's people.' 'Very well. But you love Irer P 'Yes,' And respect Iter!' Yes; And cherish her, as bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh V 'Yes, certainly I do.' 'And you lore II 1 m, and obey Him, and res pect Him, and cherish Him!' 'Certainly, I do.' Then,' cried the Governor, rising, 'in the name of the laws ol God, and of the Common wealth of Connecticut, I pronounce you to be man and wife !' The ravings and rage of John and Sarah w ere no avail -the knot was tied by the high est authority ofthe State. llnttton Mull. Governor Carlm, of Illinois, is said to have made a requisition upon Gov. Reynolds, nf Via. souri, for the delivery ofthe person ol'Gon. Ben nett, charged by Jo Smith with high treason a gainst the State of Illinois. This will delay pro ceedings against Jo Smith until after the elec tion. Tub Mot si; in I.iqcoh. Mr. Smith, the re formed drunkard from 1-ondon, apologised for much ofthe folly of a drunkard, by the follow ing story ofthe Cat and the Mo:isc. A mouse raging about a brewery happening to fall into one ofthe vats, he was in imminent danger of drowning and appealed to a cat to help him out. The cat replied, it is a foolish request, for as soon as 1 get you 1 shall eat you. The mouse piteoubly replied, that the fate would be better thau to be drowned in beer. The Cat lifted him out, but the fumes ofthe beer caus ing pussey to sneeze, the mouse look refuge in his hole. The catcalled upon mousey to come out 'You rascal, did you not promise that I should eat you !' ' Ah !' replied mousey, 'but you know 1 wf in liquor at the time,' A Run S knk. The following rich scene recently occurred in our courts of justice be tween the Judge and a Dutch witness all the w ay from Rotterdam : Judge, 'Vhat's your native language V Witness. '1 be no native : Fsa Doolchman.' Judge. 'What is your mother tongue.' Witness. 'O, fader sny she be all tongue.' Judge, (in an irritable tone.) 'What lan guage did yon first learn ! w hat language did you speak in the cradle !' Witness.'! tid not speak no language in to cradle at all ! I only cried in lhnttch.' Then there wasa general laugh, in which the judge, jury, and audience joined. The witness was interrogated no further about his iialivo language. Picayune. The celebrated Dr. Madden, seeing a boy breaking out his neighbor's windows, asked him, what's that tor I All for the good of trade, aid the boy I'm a glazier. The Doctor, rai eing Ins cane and breaking the fellow's head, exclaimed, that's for the good of trade, I'm a kurgeon..Yitt) llattn IhrulJt
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