6 HARRISBURG TELEGRAPH A NEWSPAPER POR THE HOME Founded 1831 Published evenings except Sunday by THE TELEGRAPH PRINTING CO. Tclesraph Building, Federal Square E. J. STACKPOLB President and Editor-in-Chief P. R. OYSTER. Busing** Manager OTTB 2L STEINMETZ, Managing Editor Ju R. MICHENER, Circulation Manager Executive Board Z. IV McCULLOUGH. BOYD M. OGELBBY, F. R. OYSTER. GUS. M- STEINMETZ. Member of the Associated Press—The Associated Press is exclusively en titled to the use for republication of all sews dispatches credited to it or not otherwise credited in this paper and also the local news published herein. . , All rights of republication of special dispatches heroin are also reserved. Jl Member American VI Newspaper Pub- Ushers' Associa- Bureau of Circu- KBE iSTCU!•'■.•* lation and Penn- Up W;™® SB sylvania Associ ' SSv® . ,1h ated Dailies. 089 C 5 ABB m Eastern office. IKKBSeSQI Story. Brooks & BSS 2 IBB; IBP Finley. Fifth jfgSscSSflH Avenue Building SBUWBbL® New York City; Western office. CjET Story. Brooks & SSrafff Finley, People's CJa s Building, Entered at the Post Office in Harrls burg. Pa., as second class matter. By carrier, ten cents a fWcf:-r:;* s *•.>. > week; by mail. $5.00 a year in advance. TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 3, 1018 A hero or a genius, or both, is the man who guesses right most of the time and then does it. —STEVENSON. MUST RECKON TWO WAYS ALREADY the statistician Is busy on the revenue which will be lost to Pennsylvania through the operations of the national pro hibition law. Incidentally, the ques tion is immediately raised as to the necessity of providing additional revenue to All the gap lost by sus penson of the liquor traffic. It Is shown that the net returns to the State Treasury from liquor licenses for the first eight months of this year reached a total of sl,- 487,387.93, a decrease of $23,244.96 from the return for the same period In 1917. It is pointed out that the annual receipts from liquor licenses this year will show a considerable falling oft over the previous twelve months. But the statistician does not take account of the other side of the ledger. He says nothing of the ex penditure through local municipali ties and the State at large as a re sult of the liquor traffic. It is a question whether the net income from liquor licenses of all sorts would be more than a trifle of the total expense Involved In court costs and other expenditures growing out of the operations of John Barley corn in every direction. It Is an old. old story, this bugaboo of loss of revenue through the wip ing out of the liquor business. Broken hearts, blasted careers, sui cide and disgrace, murder, ineffici ency in the industrial world, loss and waste of every kind do not ap pear In the statistics of revenue from the liquor traffic, yet these more vitally concern the people than all the revenues which are so ofter. magnified and emphasized in the discussion of the prohibition ques tion. Already the Kaiser and his associ ate murderers are beginning to throw the high sign of distress. They want peace—a German peace. They want also to negotiate a settlement while the plunder of tho ravaged countries is still in their possession. But Sena tor Lodge has voiced the will of the people. There will be no peace save as it shall be dictated in Berlin and on the terms of the conquering forces of the allied nations now battling for righteousness and Justice and liberty. OUR BIGGEST PROBLEM THE way to increase the output of war necessities is not by eliminating all "non-essential products, but by finding more work ers. Whether or not the war ends to-day, or next year, or the year after, it will find us in great need of the industries we now so blithely talk of closing as "non-essential." We shall face the resulting fierce world-competition under a tremen dous handicap if countless mills and manufactories are closed, their cap ital dissipated, their credit gone and their organizations demolished. Eng land and France are maintaining most of their industries, even after four years of the most demoralizing ■warfare. How have they done this? By the employment of women. Women and girls from every walk of life, rich and poor, have become wage earners for the period of the war, and many of them for life. As we continue to draw men from private life Into the Army we shall be face to face with one of two things- either we shall have to concentrate •pon the making of only war goods, forcing male workers into the mu nitions works, willy nilly. or of in ducing women to take the places of men who have gone away. Do not blame the Government too much if ttfe former condition arises. It is sure to come unless our women vol unteer in large numbers to fill the vacancies left by drafted men. And employers must realize this and TUESDAY EVENING, pave the way, aa eome of them al ready have done and others are doing. We believe that the people of this section ore disposed to co-operate with the government in every step for the prescutlon, the vigorous prosecu tion. of the war. In every movement they have manifested thetr purpose to stand together and give not only their men, but of their means and of every thing they have to subjugate the Hun and relieve the world of the menace of an obsessed and intolerant Germany. This was shown in the very general observance' of the re quest to cease operations of automo biles last Sunday. Of course, there were violations, but for the most part the people observed the day by al lowing their cars to remain in the garage. THE ONE GREAT PERIL WILLIAM C. CORNWELL. edi tor of The Bache Review,; forecasts a very favorable market for the next Liberty Loan- He traces this to the bullish tenden cies in Wall Street due to the great allied vicorie3 in France. The onty cloud on the horizon, he says, is the possibility of an early effort toward premature peace. He reflects a uni \ersal. belief when he argues that the American success at Chateau Thierry was the turning point of the war, and that "the enormous, re sources of America" will engulf the Hun. But, like many other writers, he warns against the acceptance of a peace short of complete surrender. Says he: The length of continuance of the war is the only uncertainty. Should the German command, in infatuated stupidity, elect to struggle to the last, the war may continue another year, or even longer. But these sodden pigs in lust for plunder, and wolves in cruel thirst for blood and destruction, have, nevertheless, cowardly sneaking traits when threatened with shat tering defeat and will squirm and whine for peace soon in hopes to save some plunder, as well as their precious hides, from the avenging storm of righteous ex tinction which is descending upon them. The Allies are now better pre pared to meet their offers with scorn and contempt than formerly, before Germany's doom had be come so plainly sealed. Then the poisonous brood of pacifists were able to gain a hearing. Every pacifist in this country is either a defective or a crook. But they are scattered everywhere. They are biding their time to whisper and plead for pity for a beaten nation. Their societies have been destroyed by the gov ernment,' but individually they still work. Some of their news papers have been seized. Others have been bought by powerful loyal interests. In these last a thorough housecleaning has not always been made, and here and there an insidious pro-German or Engiand-hater manages to get in a nasty paragraph. Also, there are still powerful press interests which are pretending to be loyal, but waiting only for the sobbing peace proposition, when they will Join in the appeal for pity and forgiveness for a foe prostrated. A prominent German, an exile in Switzerland, knows his own coun trvmen. and says of them in the New York Times: "HVving won half the world by bloody mur.der. thev are going to win the other half with tears in their eyes cry ing for mercy." The greatest danger to-day Is from peace. It is impossible to reach Berlin with our armies this winter, and any talk of peace he fore that is treason. Peace talk now would be merely playing into the hands of the Kaiser. It would not only injure the new Liberty Loan, but it would be a be trayal of the trust our soldiers have placed in us. They have gone to France and many of them have died there to make the world safe for democracy, tc blot out forever the German menace; To stop short of the total defeat of Germany would be treason, indeed—treason to our country, treason to the brave lads who have laid down their lives cheer fully with the thought that by so doing they were adding their mead to the forco that must eventually and completely crush the Hun. BREAKING ROTATION THE average Pennsylvania far mer would have been tempted to reach for a rock or a club if the suggestion had been made to him in recent years that the rotation of crops, the planting of wheat, corn, oats and other staples in successive years, should be broken. And yet here are public officials urging that the rule which has made Southern Pennsylvania one of the great pro ducers of food in the country be forgotten and wheat be planted where it was grown this year or last year. It is to be brought to the at tention of every farmer and every effort made to put the acreage of wheat in the Keystone State over the million and a half mark. To do violence to such an estab lished rule as rotation of crops srows the gravity of the situation. Only in an emergency can any man with authority call upon the tillers of the soil to disregard a principle which has made county after county famous in the State. And when such advice is given it should be heeded. This State is called upon to increase the acreage of wheat. It is fast re gaining its pre-eminence as an agri cultural State and this is the time to help. PRIDE IN THEIR FELLOWS THERE is reason for pride among the black men of Harrlsburg that so many of their number have entered the service of their country and are taking part in the great struggle "over there." Already the records of valor include the names of scores of brave negroes and the French war cross for brav ery has been bestowed on not a few of the American colored men who have taught the Hun the lesson that in America freedom is valued much more highly than anything else and that in the final defeat of the Ger man autocracy the black men of the United States will have a conspicu ous and honorable part. The service flags in the several colored churches of this city are emblems of the pa triotism and loyalty of our negro I citizens. By the Ex-Oommltteemaa Reservations made at Harrlsburg hotels Indicate that many of the prominent Democrats of the Palmer- McCormlck faction of the Pennsyl vania Democracy will be here for the meeting of the State Committee to morrow when the platform la to be adopted. Most of them will be here late to-night and they will be in such force that the people at the state headquarters do not look for much trouble at the session of the commit tee, which w.ll begin at 2 o'clock and is expected to end in an hour or so. Major George R. McLean, the state chairman, will be here to-night from Washington and will be accom panied by a number of men promi nent in Democratic affairs. National Chairman Vance C. McCormick Is expected to be here, but It is not cer tain. National Committeeman A. Mitchell Palmer will be here late to night. Thus far Major McLean has given no indication of retiring from the chairmanship and people at the state headquarters do not expect him to do'so. The suggestion made by Judge Eugene C. Bonnlwell in his letter to A. V. Dively that Henry C. Niles be made compromise chairman was not well received here because it did not seem tb be definite. The headquar ters managers would like to avoid a split, but they Intend the overtures to come from Bonnlwell to be In con crete form. Judge Bonnlwell is not expected to be here. The name of the Fair Play party was pre-empted for nine dis tricts to-day, six of them being Phil adelphia legislative districts. The name was taken for the 4 Tenth Con gressional district by P.' F. Calpln, E. B. Scott, Patrick Ruane, N. D. Rosenfeld and Michael O'Connor, of Scranton. The legislative district pre-emptions were Third, Tenth, Fourteenth, Fifteenth, Sixteenth and Twenty-fourth Philadelphia: First Lackawanna and First Schuylkill. —What is expected to be a show down meeting of the State Commis sion of Agriculture Is scheduled to take place Thursday or .Friday of this week, the date not being definitely determined, but it is believ ed that the question of a chief of the bureau of markets will be settled at last. This Job has been a bone of contention for months. E. B. Dor sett, named at the direction of the Governor, was confirmed after a long wrangle und when it was suspected that the Governor was no longer in terested in him. It is now intimated that many men Influential in Repub lican affairs are anxious for the se lection of Dorsett. Secretary of Agri culture Patton is said to be favor able to Dorsett, but some of the members of the commission are not —Governor Brumbaugh is not ex pected to return to Harrisburg until late this month. The Governor has generally remained away until Oc tober. but it is said to be his plan to come hero late in September and then go to Philadelphia for a time. Nothing to indicate when the ap pointment of a Judge for Westmore land county will be made. —President Wilson has not only made a barrel of trouble through his appointment of an Allentown post master not favored by Congressman Arthur G. Dewalt, but he has stirred up Lancaster Democrats tremendous ly because he appointed James J- Huebner, a Republican, to the post mastership of Lititz borough, to suc ceed the late Warren E. Buch. an appointee of the Wilson administra tion. The Jolt to the Democracy has been felt even in the camp of the state leaders. The appointment hung lire for months because of a hitch in the matter of a civil service exam ination that resulted disappointingly to the friends of the Democratic as pirant, C. F. Pfauts. Mr. Huebner scored the highest average among the candidates. —Western Pennsylvania is sitting up and taking notice of the charges of Democratic graft that were made Hy Senator Pe nrose at Unlontown on Saturday. The senator called for election of the entire state Republi can ticket this fall to gain a Repub lican majority in congress and to prevent further squandering of tho government's money. Senator Pen rose stated that if the Republicans have the next House the harmful ex penditure of several million dollars for the so-called Creel bureau of in formation will be largely curtailed, if not entirely stopped. Now, stated the senator, it is impossible to even secure information concerning the personnel and expenditure of this very questionable department. Graft of several hundred million dollars in aircraft construction was especially emphasized by the senator. William C. Sproul, candidate for Governor, dwelt upon the inefficiency of the Wilson administration, declaring that the best interests of the country de manded the return of the Republi cans to power, so that there would be a real peace, a positive peace and not a pacifist peace. Addresses'were made also by E. E. Beidleman, can didate for lieutenant governor; E- V. Babcock, mayor of Pittsburgh, and J. F. Woodward, of McKeesport, can didate for secretary of internal af fairs. General Foch and the Bible The great General Foch, in a letter to Dr. George William Carter, gen eral secretary of the New York Bible Society, expresses appreciation of the Testaments sent to soldiers by saying that "the Bible is certainly the best preparation that you can give to an American soldier about going into battle to sustain his magnificent ideal and his faith." The society has given nearly one-quarter of a million copies of the Scriptures to our soldiers and sailors. —From the Boston Tran script. He Didn't Know A man walking along a country road came to a small pond. On a tree at the water's edge was nailed a board bearing tho following badly scrawled yarning: DONT FISH HEAR The man pondered over it for a mo ment or two, then resumed his lour ney with the comment: "Blamed if I Know."—Everybody's Magazine. SUNDAY JOURNEYING Said the Chugger to the Plugger: "Gone the wasteful days of yore; We are resting from our questing, For the Joyride is no more. "Though the muting of our tooting And the silence of the dearth Comes a pounding and resounding That is music to the earth. "Hear the stamping and Jhe tramp ing Of the boys who went to win, Hear the wonder and the thunder Of the Joy march to Berlin!" —McLand/fourgh Wilson, in New York Sun. HARRUSBURG USISPJ ' "TELEQRIPH; SOMEBODY IS ALWAYS TAKING THE JOY OVT OF LIFE g. 7 L\Z#? GOT MV """) /" , MS5 == ROYAU I'M GOFAKI 1 F —" —" * F"\ I K *N^N I CJ*J ( / OUT TO ?E THE BALL ( *OCUA.,JACTF- I'M] S6ASOM tsl * , \ / M AMP WHCM >toO J I o*l J*Y/y*J+Y To I CLOSED- I CHA6F OUT TO A BALL A I B;T -FROSE LETTTSR3 / I 1H "©ALL ?AHW WO ALORE / SAMFL- I BEAIO I 1 VBU CAIO D\T FORY L GREXTTR 1 COME / BASEBALL J TO A FLAME "THIS TFCASOW \ -FAG J>AY "TOO R \ ALOMG' X S^_ F I'LL HO RAY. BACK TO \ fFV ■/• §'' THC OFFICE. BEPONE MSS \ _ AOT V O OXU TO- \ ILL—KI TUP L\ 1 •ROVAL LEAVES .SO WE CAN ] STAY— THARO WN'T | \J N IV/\IOC.IA/ TORNJ OUT MORS , J ANY MORS BASEBALL- J " LABOR DAY, 1918 [New York Times] It was a happy inspiration of Mr. Wilson to take part in the celebra tion of Labor Day this momentous year of the great war and make a personal appeal and invocation to the American army of labor as only he knows how to talke to his coun trymen in a crisis. He has never said the right thing with more elo quence. As Mr. Wilson sees that crisis, we are all working at our ap pointed tasks "over here:" "We are all enlisted men, mem bers of a single army, of many parts and many tasks, but commanded by a single obligation, our faces set to ward a single object." Labor's stake in the war is no less than that of capital. Defeat would engulf both. That is realized by most of us, in fact by every man who thinks and is concerned about the future. All that has been said and written about the meaning and con sequences of the war Mr. Wilson compresses into one stimulating par agraph: "It is a war of emancipation. Not untH it is won can men "anywhere live free from constant fear or breathe freely while they go about their daily tasks and know that gov ernments are their servants, not their mhsters. '* * * This is, there fore, the war of all wars, which la bor should support and support with all its concentrated power." It may be doubted whether any man has illuminated the iniquity of the Teutonic governments with such a vivid flash of description as in that sentence of Mr. Wilson's where he speaks of their statesmen as "plot ting while honest men work, laying the flres of which innocent men, women and children are to be the fuel." Perhaps a leader of labor here and there, as well as some Of the privates in the army, does not see as clearly as Mr. Wilson does, that "to fall to win the war would be to imperil everything that the la borer has striven for and held dear since freedom first had its dawn and its struggle for justice began." Americans of all occupations will hope that for all our people this never-to-be-forgotten Labor Day of 1918 will be, in the President's words, "a day of fresh comprehen sion" and "a day of consecration." One the Hun Censor Missed So-called German efficiency finds more than its equal in American in genuity. When American prisoners, who are placed in the various forts throughout Germany, seek to write relatives or friends in their native country, their messages must under go the rigid inspection of the "effi cient" German censor, who often believes that he is permitting only "good news" to pass through. Real descriptions of the situation are ef faced. A son of a wealthy Philadelphian, who has been captured, recently sent word home that conditions on the whole were satisfactory and American prisoners were being treat ed we u—but that he would much rather be back in Laurel Hill. The young man's parents were able to understand his meaning, as Laurel Hill is a cemetery not far home. Splendid treatment? —From the Wall Street Journal. Encouraging Superstition Don't be discouraged because the cost of living is up 65 per cent, for as yet the undertakers haven't start ed bargain Fridays.—From the Bal timore American. LABOR NOTES Ball hearings lessen the labor ot using largo shears that have been invented. Before the war there were 177,000 mine workers in the anthracite in dustry. The pumber has been drawn down to about 145,000 now. Nearly 800 members of the molders' and coremakers' unions of the Pitts burgh district have been conceded an increase of 75 cents per day. A union of the Brotherhood of Maintenance of Way Employes has been completed of the track repairers of the Gulf, Colorado and Santa Fe Railroad. There are on file now with the State Department of Labor and In dustry assurances Jom 42,000 Penn sylvania employers that they will give employment to crippled men. Birmingham (Ala.) central body and State Federation of Labor have ruled that every delegate must have at least three labels on his person i before he will be seated. The ''Yellow Dog" Described By Henry Irving Dodge SPEAKING at the banquet of the New York City Editors' conven tion at the Majestic Hotel in New York, Henry Irving Dodge, founder of the national movement to suppress the "yellow dogs" who dis courage and demoralise by repeating German propaganda lies, told how he "built" the idea that has aroused a tidal wave of patriotic activity ail over the United States that is effec tively stamping out the last traces of Prussian influence. , Mr. Dodge in telling of the birth | of the "Yellow Dog" campaign said in part: "Thw matter simply shows; how from a mere idea concrete re-1 suits may be got. But what made the j idea effective was the fact that it I was applied at the psychological! moment. The country was ripe for| it, and the fact that the Yellow Dog| Drive has become so great shows not only that there was a very large number of yellow dogß in the land, but it also shows the determination of the American people to suppress them. It's a movement that has, since the 4th of May, spread from Portland, Oregon, to Portland, Maine, and from Canada to Mexico. In fact, it includes a considerable portion of Canada, judging from the letters received. Yellow Dog Defined "When 1 speak of the two-legged yellow dog I don't mean the German, remember that. My yellow dog is worse than that. He's the weak kneed, white-livered American—how I hate to call him an American— that's always knocking the govern ment, always ready to pass along scandal, groundless scandal, little, petty, pin-pricking, discouraging talk, always-criticising in a destruc tive way. "I'm not speaking of the big men, who know enough to criticise con structively, men who have the courage to risk the public obloquy for their country's sake—l'm talking about 'dogs' not 'lions.' "For a long time I tried to figure cut why so many good Americans were acting like yellow dogs. Surely, I thought, they're doing ifr unwit tingly. That being the case, they must—in a large number of cases— be ignorantly the agent or mouth pieces of the German propagandist— doing his work without realizing it, for they never in God's world would do It if they did realize what they were doing. Seeking a Cure "I was much cast down by the ap parently unrestricted yellow dogism, and I spent my time hating the yel low dog and scheming out a way to suppress him. "I knew that able men had de livered orations against the danger of German propaganda. Able writers had exposed it. But you can't cure it that way any more than you can cure yellow fever by talking about it, any more than you can euro cholera by describing it. You only scare folks that way. You've got to treat the patients individually. You've got to make them realize, see the light. Make them stand up and be counted. Make them personally responsible. "I reckoned that the yellow dog was the connecting link, the line of communication, the disease carrier between the Hun spy and the American public, that furnishes the sinews of war. "I realized that since one couldn't locate the spy propagandist, who is as übiquitous as the house fly, it was necessary to destroy—or at least, *o i sterilize —the connecting link so he couldn't communicate the Prussian plague. "Whether the yellow dog did it consciously or not, the effect of his whinning was vicious, and it was necessary then to make him realize that his irresponsible words were fraught with danger to our country. ''To do that, it was necessary to get an agent as übiquitous us the yellow dog himself. What I did after that is what 'Walker' did in jhe story, 'The Yellow Dog.' He pon dered the matter and finally hit upon the small boy force of the country. "The small boy, 'Walker' knew, was the human question mark. He loves to express himself along the lines of adventure. So he called the boys of 'Danforth' together, ex plained to them how the yellow dog by circulating evil rumors and dis couraging the buying of bonds and causing men to evade the draft act, were virtually sending bullets to the Kaiser and killing their brothers who were in the trenches. The Staggering Question "He organized the Boy Detectives of America, right then and there. He told the boys if they heard any- one talking sedition to go up and plump this question at him: 'How do you know? HOW DO YOU KNOW? What a wonderful sen tence that is. How do you know? It's a sharp rebuke to the loose tongued man. It staggers the liar. It stops the tongue of the slanderer. The saints invented it, I believe, to confuse the devil. " 'Walker' gave the boys cards with j definitions so they could recognize; the yellow dog, and the boys got i busy. 'Walker' and I had designed, to start a bonfire in Danforth, but! we found that we had siarted a con- | flagration. Metaphorically it smarted' the eyes and stung the nostrils of I everybody. It was not long before every yellow dog in Danforth had; bpen served with a card of identiflca- ! tion. It got so a man didn't care to i talk sedition even to his wife in the j middle of the night lest from out the darkness come the awful incriminat ing: HOW DO YOU KNOW? In trying to convince himself that he did know, the yellow dog con vinced himself that he didn't know. And he began to change the color of his hide. He didn't do it with a whitewash brush either. The change had to come from within. "This story was my message to all America, and the public lias taken the tip. I got a wire from Portland, Oregon, ihat an Anti-Yellow Dog Club had been formed there as a direct result of the suggestion. "A few oays later I got a letter from a great advertising Men's Club of Cleveland—a club involving some three hundred of the ablest men in the country'—asking permission to use my idea cut there. They formed the Yellow Dog Clubber's Club, with blanches all over the United States. "Almost immediately the High Twelve, a Masonic body of Danville, Illinois, started the Yellow Dog Catcher's Association, and this is doing wduderful work. "The Anti-Yellow Dog Club of New York has started some 300—or more —-Anti-Yellow Dog Clubs in the country, and the movement has the endorsement of a vast number of Governors of states, secretaries of states, mayors of cities, couucilmen, and chiefs of police. "Individual Boy Scouts and Scout Masters have taken up the move ment all over the country. Public spirited citizens have even printed cards at their own expense and dis tributed them widely. Big manu facturers have taken up the move ment and are spreading it among their employes. Big newspapers have taken it up. Men, women, and children have written me that thoy were eager ro start local clubs : —and have done so. and the idea has now become a gigantic national campaign to promote 100 per cent. American ism." War Broadening Religions [From the Los Angeles Times] Men are coming home from serv ice on the European battle fronts with broadened visions concerning religion. Many men of all religious creeds went over there with narrow ed views and are returning without the narrowness they took with them. The war is doing a lot of big things for the world, yet nothing bigger, or perhaps quite so big, as thlß. In America every man has the full right to worship God according to the dictates of his own conscience, and certainly they appear to have taken unstinted advantage of the privilege. ' The trouble is, however, that there has been a good deal of determina tion on the part of each one of the almost countless sects to force all the others to its way of thinking. The result has been an endless and most annoying acrimony of thought and a pitiful and pathetic dislike of neigh bor for neighbor. In this war there are forty-six million Protestants and sixty-two million Catholics fighting on one side and forty-five million Protestants and sixty-three million. Catholics fighting on the other. A fairly even break, we might say. And on thp side of America and the Allies, at least, Protestants and Catholics seem to have suddenly be come very good friends. We shall doubtless feel the beneficial effects of this in our country for all time to come. Surely, it is something that every right thinking man may gladly thank God for. The Best Omen Let the "best omen be our coun try's cause.—Homer, SEPTEMBER 3, 1918. * WE CERTAINLY DID A hard, little, never-say-die Tommy who had been captured by the Boches refused to work, and tor mented his captors by continually shouting: "We gaive ye hell at the Marne, didn't we, Fritz? We galve ye hell at the Marne, eh?" He continued this, undaunted by their threats, for many days. Final ly, the officers, exasperated, offered him the choice of either being shot or getting into a German uniform and submitting to the discipline of a German soldier. After a struggle, he gave in, and the first night his new Boche com rades welcomed hir to their ranks and demanded a patriotic speech. Tommy rose and said: "Well, boys, I can't saiy anything good now about those Frenchies and Tommies over there: but, ye know, they gaive us hell at the Marne, didn't they?"— Everybody's Maga zine. OUR DAILY LAUGH A TRADE SECRET. 1 ; fl I The Well- Ml LiL^W wisher lt's perfectly won- || derful how so W iWSg'iM I many bright 111 B 1/1 'f i jj| | thoughts occur hKY. j! 0 ito you. Jtf 1-^.M ■ The Jokesmith lfWs Lj AsaJW ' They don't oc [ cur as often as | they recur. 'ANTI j- AIRCRAFT. I've got a great >S„ scheme. I'm pt'rt Y -Jjff a going to capture n m '"' on Jersey A "1 4 , ra mosquitoes and JSti. "• ■ to London this £a.V l [|(fltlntffßlMl Government i| wouldn't thank Sure, they will *■& puncture the .Zeppelins. I tryoorL WK ■COLD * ? W, i JUST WHAT jgg2? lf' HE NEEDED. ' CBO*S"FtET 0- Crow—l think ~ ~ ' I'll get some, my feet have been worrying mo terribly.'- I THE OTHER WAY AROUND. Do you stand while they are playing the Na tional Anthem? In these times it would be more appropri ate to say. Do you sit when it is not being SIT" A STORM '"J! \3 I BREWING. Bug—Run for your life Bill, a V T \ terrible thunder \ '• C storm is coming. -J?__ _r-£> Editing (Eljat The suggestion that people put the money which they would" have spent for gasoline on Sunday and which they have saved . because of "autoless Sunday" into War Stamps seems to have struck a responsive chord and there will be many dol lars added to this mighty popular form of investment for young and old in Harrisburg. It was made yas terday in the presence of a number of automobile owners and they agreed to spread it. It happens that some of the people who would other wise have gone out in cars yesterday took railroad trips or spent money otherwise and they are being called up by loving friends and .told to buy stamps because they violated the spirit of tlie law. In several caaps it wi • reported that men had saved mono.. twice because they spent some part of Sunday inspecting cars which they did not run and discovered ne cessity for immediate repairs or headed oft disaster by attention which the car would not have re ceived on a traveling Sabbath. Some of the men who went to church in carson Sunday when they lived near trolley lines received ideas of what their friends thought about it yester day. But the best of all was the treatment the plain joyriders, the don't care kind, got along the streets. They were given cat-calls,, dubbed "slackers" and shown very plainly what their fellow citizens thought of them. Some tried to brazen it out, but when they saw how few cars were out-they beat it for home. The most uncomfortable people in the state were the women who were in cars because they could not conceal their feelings and many an one wished that the horr.eless carriage had been kept at home when traveling through the city. There were not many au tomobiles run in Harrisburg Sunday and there are going to be fewer next Sunday and the next. • • • Persons who rode in automobiles on Sunday didn't feel very comfort able, if one may Judge from the re marks of two women who had taken a short ride, a pleasure trip, at that. One of them said: "We didn't have a very nice time of it on our ride; every few squares some one would yell, 'slacker' as we passed; at Hum melstown a man came out in the atreet and took the number of our car and along the road in the outly ing districts pedestrians hooted when we went by them. No more pleasure trips for us until the ban on gasoline is lifted. The roads certainly looked deserted and we saw only a few other machines during the whole time we were out." • • • "One thing about the no-auto trip Sunday that I liked and which 1 hope will keep up is that there were no cars stacked up in front of churches and hotels," remarked one of the traffic cops. "Every Sunday the folks who go to church in cars leave the machines standing in I streets where there are trolley cars ■ and more traffic and just why they don't go into side streets I don't know. But they are not as bad as the folks who go to a hotel or res taurant and spend a couple of hours eating dinner. They leave their cars wherever It seems to be busiest. These Sundays are a rest time to us fellows and I hope you newspaper guys keep on lambasting the 'slack ers.' " • * • People here, especially in educa tional circles, are very much inter ested in ihe reports from Trenton that New Jersey is about to estab lish a commission to devise a school code similar to Pennsylvania. The Jersey people have run up against the same situation that confronted this state a decade ago when the con flicting statutes and obsolete laws made it impossible to get anywhere without a lawyer. Dr. Nathan C. Schaeffer, one of the pioneers In <he movement for compressed school laws worked for months to find out how to meet a certain situation. The ex perience of Pennsylvania has been the same as other states and the code plan is now getting much favor. • • • Every now and then some people get ideas about the new draft law and start out to raise questions. For instance, there were some men who were of the opinion that men who were over forty-flve did not have to register. The truth is that every man who is not forty-six on Septem ber 12, or Thursday a week, must register. Better do it early and do it with a smile; every man who knows, except a few, will be doing it. • • • The thoroughness with which Cap itol Hill closed all offices yesterddy in observance of Labor Day was much commented upon. There was hardly an office open except that of the State Police which does not sleep. Generally, there are a few offices where men work, but yesterday w:us marked by as general a closing as the Fourth of July. "Even the squirrels is off," said "Chiefy" Gil ner. • • • It is an interesting fact that many of the soldiers who stop here on their way to eastern points are marching about Harrisburg streets at a cadence that would have jarred many people a year ago. A couple of years back men were trained at about seventy steps to the mlnrite. The men who have been marching about the streets this week are go ing as high as 124 to 123 a minute. Captain F. H. Hoy, Jr., who has had much experience in drilling, says that tho 130 step marching is com ing along. One regiment hit up 134 for a time. j WELL mom PEOPLE —C. C. Keller, In charge of the new Liberty Loan district in Monroe and Pike counties, is a Ptroudshurg banker. —Major W. McK. Scott, who is In charge of all property at Camp Leo. is a Philadelphian. He used to be with the U. G. I. —The Rev. Dr. Clarence H. Wool ston, Philadelphia clergyman, is home from a trip all over the coun try during which he says ho found tho nation united to slug the Kaiser. —Joseph T. Rothrock, the former state forestry commissioner, says in a statement issued at West Chester that Germany needs humiliation as well as correction. —Major E. V. Babcock, of Pitts burgh, does not seem to have had much vacation this year, owing to the municipal situation in his city. —Mayor A. L. Relchenbach. of Allentown, has asked his people to save all of the peach pits for making carbon for the Army's use. He was the first mayor to do it. [ DO YOU KNOW —That Harrisburg sailors arc In the coast defense service and helping elinse "subs?" HISTORIC HARRISBURG The first steamboat on the Susque hanna was used to haul flatboats filled with garden vegetables and wat employed In the twenties.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers