14
' XSgQMen
By DOROTHY DIX
s -• -bo s unattrac
tive to men, because we men are sim
ple creatures with simple ideas and
simple tastes, and an unfortunate par
tiality for genuine, instead of spurious,
articles.
'lt's a pity that somebody doesn't
rise up and tell girls that the two
qualities that men admire most in
woman are naturalness and sincerity.
That's where the milk maid and the
country lassie have always won out.
"It's artlesaness, not artfulness, that
catches a man's fancy, and honestly, I
could weep for sympathy over the mis
takes I see dear little girls making;,
who would be charming: if they would
only be themselves, and who are so
silly and tiresome when they are af
fecting; to be something- that they are
not, but which they falsely suppose
that men admire.
"Take, for instance, vivacity. When
vivacity is an attribute that a girl Is
born with, when she has quicksilver In
her veins and a devil in her eyes and
a bright outlook on life and a laugh
that f» like a peal of silver bells, she
makes a gay and delightful companion.
But it's because her merriment is spon
taneous and unforced.'
"Here comes along a girl of an en
tirely different type, a girl who Is
sober as a judge, and who couldn't see
a joke even after it was diagrammed
for her, but she's heard vivacity praised
in another girl, and so she giggles and
smirks and smiles until it makes your
face ache to look at her perpetual grin,
and she's so noisy and tiresome that
Daysey Mayme and Her Folks
By Prances h. Garside
There were two guests in the pax-1
lor at the home of Lysander John Ap-'
pleton, both uncles of Davsey Mayme.'<
One sat on the very edge of the 1
lounge. Nervous and apprehensive,'
he looked as if all his life he had j
had no more show than a rabbit in I
show time.
The other, fat and ponderous, over- j
flowed the largest chair In the room, j
It la not necessary to name his pro- j
totype further than to say that a
great many fortunes have been made 1
In canning them.
It was the nervous man's turn. A
little ustered at being the center j
of attention, he related in a thin, •
squeaky voice:
"That reminds me. Out in Cali
fornia in the early days a certain;
man took sick in a mining camp and
died. The boys decided to give him
a funeral by importing a hearse from 1
the next town.
"The procession was winding over;
the hill: the hearse in front, with a
lot of cowboys on bronchos and mules i
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OlinklSt
Lemons at Ymir D«»Wa CALIFORNIA FRUIT GROWERS EXCHANGE
UCIUUIU " l * uur t,CdICT 5 139 NORTH CLARK STREET. CHICAGO. ILL.
FRIDAY EVENING, &AFRISBURG 1&2&& TELEGRAPH MARCH 6, 1914.
she makes a man want to run oft and
hide where he can get out of earshot
of her voice and her cackle.
"Then there's the girl who pretends
to be a sport and who smokes cigar
ettes, although she loatlis the taste of
them, and they make her sick, and
who talks about how many cocktails
she can drink, and who boasts of her
losses at cards, and who listens to off
color stories, whose mistiness she
doesn't half understand. Can anybody
explain why a really respectable young
girl should wish to be thought to have
the tastes and habits of the kind of
woman we do not even mention in her
presence?
"Yot they do. I know dosens of per
fectly innocent young women who pre
tend to be tough, and who speak caau:
ally of having had too much cham
pagne, when the only thing they ever
had too much of was an extra cup of
tea. They disgust the very men that
they could attract if they would only
be their natural, sweet, simple selves.
"And there's the girl who poses as
being literary or artistic or musical,
and who feels called upon to wear
sllnksey clothes and never comb her
hair and to go about with a rapt look
In her eyes.
In reality her tastes are for Marie
Corelli and chromos and ragtime, but
she talks In a soulful way about Ibsen
and Sudermann and technique and col
oratura until she gives you the fantods,
and a man would go seven miles to
avoid meeting her.
"If she'd go along and talk about
the common, everv-day subjects she un
derstands. men would like her and she'd
have plenty of beaux, but the average
man doesn't care a hang about what
Browning thought he thought, or high
browed conversation, and he's going to
let the girl severely alone who hands
out that line of talk to him.
"I've known more than one girl miss
a good husband by always lugging
around a copy of Maeterlinck with her.
"Then there's the girl who pretends
to be a great belle, and who always
tells every man she meets what a heart
-smasher she is, and how this man
keeps her in flowers, and that man in
candy, and another worries the life out
of her dragging her around to theatres,
and how she told another man that
she just wouldn't go out in his car
more than seven times a week, and
how many millionaires are on their
knees entreating her to marry them
in the rear, when the team attached
t othe hearse was frightened, bolted
and ran away.
"A race: The mourners were quick
to see the opportunity, and digging
their spurs in their mounts started up,
overtaking the hearse team befose it
reached the cemetery gates.
"The miner to whom fell the task
of acquainting the widow back East
of her bereavement recounted the
man's illness and death, and the run
away. Wishing to assuage her grief,
he added: 'lt tvill no doubt be a
comfort to you. Madame, to learn that
the CORPSE WON.' "
The nervous man waited for laugh
ter. but there wasn't a ripple. After
a silence that seemed as mournful as
the tomb, the big. ponderous and
pompous man overflowed his chair
some more, and in a voice that could
have been heard away oft in to-mor
row. said:
"I am the pin who put the pin in
pinnacle."
Daysey Mayme gave a roar that
shook the chandelier. Then she tit
and threatening suicide If she won't.
"This girl thinks she makes herself
more desirable In a man's eyes by be
ing desired, and the man Is wonder
ing if she thinks he is boob enough to
be strung with any such stories, and
he's disgusted with her, because every
decent man hates a liar, and particu
larly he doesn't want a wife that is a
Saphira.
"And there's the girl who pretends
to despise all sorts of womanlv things.
She sneers at religion. She scoffs at
family affections. She calls children
brats, and declares tjiat the very sight
of a baby disgusts her, and she boasts
that she never puts her foot inside of
the kitchen, and wouldn't know how
to boil water without scorching It, and
1 tf any man thinks she's going to keep
house for him he's fooled.
"He isn't, because no man ever wants
that sort of a woman In his kitchen.
A man's ideal of a wife Is a woman
who is all womanly, one whose heart
is bound up in her own family, who
is tender and loving to little children
and old people, and who knows how
to do everything in a house that turns
It into a home. Whv any girl should
be fool enough to think she attracts
a man by posing as an example of the
marble heart and the woman who
doesn't know her business passes com
prehension.
"And most fatal of all is the folly of
the girl who pretends to be better off
than she is. I know plenty of poor
girls who dress as if they were million
aires. Every cent the family can rake
up is put on their backs, and they and
their mothers slave themselves to death
turning and twisting their clothes so
as to give the impression that they
have ten times what they have.
"They think this attracts men, but
it scares them oft. When a man sees
the daughter of a poor man diked out
like Solomon in all his glory, he says.
'Not for muh: she's selfish and ex
travagant and willing to work her poor
old dad to death to get fine clothes.
I don't want that sort of a wife.' And
he passes her up.
"Why do girls act so silly? Why
haven't they sense enough to know
that imitation wares are always cheap
and vulgar, and that there is nothing
else so attractive as just simplicity?
"If they'd only be themselves instead
of trying to be somebody else there'd
be no more old maids."
tered, and giggled and rippled, and
choked and sputtered and shook.
Then she began at the beginning
and did it all again, while the nerv
our man looked both frightened and
dazed, and the fat man looked com
placent.
"The pin in pinnacle," she shrieked,
"was anything ever so funny!"
Moral and also Explanation: The
man who told the first story was poor
kin, and the man who told the second
had dollar marks all over him. No
one laughs at a poor kin's jokes.
TO ATTEND CONVENTION
Among the local photographers who
will attend the annual convention of
the Professional Photographers Society
of Pennsylvania, to be held in Scran
ton, March 17-18-19, are J. H. Kelberg
and W. C. Henery. The convention
was held in this city last year. Mr.
Kelberg is an officer of the society.
LECTIRE TO NURSES
Dr. C. R. Phillips lectured on "Vac
cine Therapy" before the Graduate
Nurses Alumni Association, at the Har
rlsburg Hospital, last night. The meet
ing was held in the nurses' home.
THIS COMBINATION
CLOSES IN FRONT
f
Fine Nainsook, Crepe de Chine
and Japanese Silk Used
For Underwear
8187 Combination Drawers and Corset
Cover for Misses and Small Women.
16 and 18 years.
WITH DRAWERS THAT CAN BE FINISHED
WITH BANDS OR LEFT LOOSE.
The combination garment that closes
at the front is such an easy one to adiust
that it is in great demand. This one
combines a prettily full corset cover with
perfectly smooth fitting drawers so that
it is perfectly well suited to youthful
figures. As it is shown here, the material
is fine nainsook and perhaps that is in
more general use than any other but some
girls like fine French crSpe for under
garments and crtpe de chine and Japanese
•ilk are groving in favor. For trimming,
nothing is betterthan the fine Valenciennes
lace, for it washes perfectly and is durable.
For the 16 year sire, the garment will
require a yds. of material 16, 2 yds.
44 in. wide, with yds. of beading,
SH yds- of edging to trim as shown on
figure.
The pattern 8187 is cut in sires for girla
of 16 and 18 years.
It will be mailed to any address by the
Fashion Department of this paper, on
receipt of ten cents.
Bowman's sell May Manton Patterns.
Pedestrian Wins Prize
But 1$ Stricken Blind
Special to The Telegraph
Sunbury, Pa., March 6. —Samuel W.
HeHer, of Baltimore, Md., who passed
through Harrisburg, Millersburg and
Sunbury early In February In a walk
-1 ing contest between that city and
Blnghamton and New York, reached
his destination inside ot the agreed
time and won a prize offered by the
Patriotic Order Sons of America of
Baltimore.
He Is'now totally blind as the result
of his exertion. He has been receiv
ing treatment in a Blnghamton, N. Y.,
hospital and his case was pronounced
hopeless. To-day his brother, W. K.
Heller, was in Sunbury on his wav to
Blnghamton to take the blind man
to his brother's home in Fleetville. His
wife has not been informed of his
misfortune.
State Sons of Veterans
Will Encamp at Sunbury
Sunbury, Pa., March 6.—Tentative
arrangements for the thirty-fourth an
nual encampment of the Pennsylvania
Division, Sons of Veterans, which will
take place here June 14-18, were fin
ished to-day.
The lleserve will be encamped near
Rolling Green Park. Headquarters
will be in Sunbury, while the business
will be transacted in the Twelfth
Regiment Armory, Sunbury. There
will be a parade each evening and a
big sham battle. Thursday, the 18th,
will be Governor's day, when Governor
Tener will review the men.
Bold Thief Steals Slot
Machine Columbia Cafe
Special to The Telegraph
| Columbia, Pa.. March 6. A bold
theft was perpetrated at Rlneer's Cafe,
lin Locust street. In the center of the
business district, when a stranger
! walked into the restaurant and pool
i room, and in full view of the custom
ers and others in the place, deliberately
picked up a small slot machine, con
taining: about S4O, and walked out be
fore the spectators had time to realize
what was taking: place. An alarm was
spread, but by the time officers and
others could start a search the thief
had made good his escape.
Helping Hand Is 21
Years Old on March 19
j The twenty-first anniversary of the
i founding of the Helping Hand for Men
I will be held at the headquarters of this
institution. March 19. The rooms will
l I be open all day. and refreshments will
. be served at 7:30 o'clock and a program
' i is being arranged.
1 \ Superintendent James K. P. Demars
l has asked for contributions of gro
■ | ceries, soup beans, coffee, sugar, meats,
j bread, crackers, green and canned
j I vegetables, fruits, spreads, etc.
I Tone, Touch. Action, Durability
, i And every requisite that goes to make
[j up an artistic instrument. We have
. I 'em. Spangler, Sixth above Maclay.—
I Advertisement.
Minister's Daughter and
! Congressman's Son Married
Special to The Telegraph
\ Columbia, Pa., March 6. Congress
i man W. W. Grlest's son, George W.
i Grlest, and Miss Mabel M. Richards,
1 daughter of the Rev. Dr. George W.
; Richards, president of the Reformed
I Theological Seminary, at Lancaster,
, were married at the home of the
| bride's parents, on the college campus,
in the presence of about thirty-flve
guests. The ceremony was performed
• I by the bride's father.
hJj Soften the hardest water on wash-
GOLD DUST |
\ Use it wherever there's dirt or grease n I
A because it cleans and purifies everything. I
ITHENK. RAIRRANKCOWPANYI !
IHO GOLD DUST TWINS J
MR. OR MRS. DYSPEPTIC! GET YOUR
STOMACH RIGHT—PAPFS DIAPEPSIN
fn five minutes! Time it! No
indigestion, gas, sourness,
belching
"Really does" put bad stomachs in
or d er —"really does" overcome indi
gestion, dyspepsia, gas, heartburn and
sourness in five minutes —that—Just
that—makes Pape's Diapepsin the
largest selling stomach regulator in
the world. If what you eat ferments
Into stubborn lumps, you belch gas
and eructate sour, undigested food
and acid; head is dizzy and aches;
breath foul; tongue coated; your in-
Telegraphic Briefs
Importations of manufactured woolen
articles more than tripled by reduction
of duty under the new tariff.
Governor Walsh, of Massachusetts,
seeks to equalize franchise taxes so
poor towns may receive larger share.
J. M. Schumacher, chairman of the
Rock Island svstem, says his lines will
need $20,000,000 by July 1.
George Broadhurst admits making
$350,000 by his plays, and court allows
his wife SIO,OOO a year.
Boston Christian Scientists accept
provisions of proposed State law regu
lating medical practice.
Five indictments returned against
Claude Anderson, cashier of the
wrecked Mercantile Bank, of Mem
phis, Tenn.
Five leading railroads agree to Ala
bama's demand for 2 %-cent passenger
fare.
1,. F. Loree, president of the Dela
ware and Hudson, favors exclusion of
railroads from Interlocking directorate
bill.
Lack of a quorum in the Senate pre
vents vote on the proposed amendment
for woman suffrage.
sides tilled with bile and IndigesUble
waste, rer.iember the moment Pape's
Diapepsin comes in contact with the
stomach all distress vanishes. It's
truly astonishing—almost marvelous,
and the joy is its harmlessness.
A large fifty-cent case of Pape's
Diapepsin will give you a hundred dol
lars' worth of satisfaction, or your
druggist hands you your money back
It's worth Its weight in gold to meii
and women who can't get their stom
achs regulated. It belongs in your
home—should always be kept handy
in case of a sick, sour, upset stomach
during the day or at night. It's the
quickest, surest and most harmless
stomach doctor in the world.—Adver
tisement.
Senate foreign relations committee
invites General Felix Diaz to appear
before it.
New York police break up I. W. W
meeting in New York park; two more
arrests made.
Journalist sent to prison in Berlin
for insulting German crown prince.
Paris Chamber of Commerce pe
titions French parliament to delaj
Panama Fair appropriation.
Austrian lower chamber again sus
pended in tumult.
Home rule bill reintroduced in Brit
ish parliament.
CHICKEN AND WAFFLE SUPPER
Halifax, Pa., March 6. —On Wednes
day evening a number of town
people enjoyed a sleighride to Millers
burg and partook of a chicken and
waffle supper at the Hotel Charles.
The following made up the party:
Dr. and Mrs. L. S. Marshall, Mr. and
Mrs. M. W. Etter, Mr. and Mrs. L. W.
Ryan, Mr. and Mrs. C. C. Baker, Mr.
and Mrs. R. A. Bressler, Mrs. R. A.
Shumaker, Mrs. O. J. Cooper, Mrs. A.
H. Prengle. Mrs. H. L. Fetterhoff,
Miss Iva Gemberling, Miss Anna
Prenzel, Claude Ryan and Warren C.
Heisler.