14 ' XSgQMen By DOROTHY DIX s -• -bo s unattrac tive to men, because we men are sim ple creatures with simple ideas and simple tastes, and an unfortunate par tiality for genuine, instead of spurious, articles. 'lt's a pity that somebody doesn't rise up and tell girls that the two qualities that men admire most in woman are naturalness and sincerity. That's where the milk maid and the country lassie have always won out. "It's artlesaness, not artfulness, that catches a man's fancy, and honestly, I could weep for sympathy over the mis takes I see dear little girls making;, who would be charming: if they would only be themselves, and who are so silly and tiresome when they are af fecting; to be something- that they are not, but which they falsely suppose that men admire. "Take, for instance, vivacity. When vivacity is an attribute that a girl Is born with, when she has quicksilver In her veins and a devil in her eyes and a bright outlook on life and a laugh that f» like a peal of silver bells, she makes a gay and delightful companion. But it's because her merriment is spon taneous and unforced.' "Here comes along a girl of an en tirely different type, a girl who Is sober as a judge, and who couldn't see a joke even after it was diagrammed for her, but she's heard vivacity praised in another girl, and so she giggles and smirks and smiles until it makes your face ache to look at her perpetual grin, and she's so noisy and tiresome that Daysey Mayme and Her Folks By Prances h. Garside There were two guests in the pax-1 lor at the home of Lysander John Ap-' pleton, both uncles of Davsey Mayme.'< One sat on the very edge of the 1 lounge. Nervous and apprehensive,' he looked as if all his life he had j had no more show than a rabbit in I show time. The other, fat and ponderous, over- j flowed the largest chair In the room, j It la not necessary to name his pro- j totype further than to say that a great many fortunes have been made 1 In canning them. It was the nervous man's turn. A little ustered at being the center j of attention, he related in a thin, • squeaky voice: "That reminds me. Out in Cali fornia in the early days a certain; man took sick in a mining camp and died. The boys decided to give him a funeral by importing a hearse from 1 the next town. "The procession was winding over; the hill: the hearse in front, with a lot of cowboys on bronchos and mules i (fM Put a Box of 'Sunkist' Oranges J|g In Your Pantry! Give the Family a Delicious Health Treat! Special Sales! Special Prices! All Next Week The tempting tang of "Sunkist" oranges comes from their slow mark^tc^us 1 ' i \ A ripening on the trees, in the warm, golden California sunshine. Rogers A-l Standard guaranteed silverware. lllf It \ This luscious, golden fruit is SO good that don't you wish ''Red Ball" orange and lemon wrappers are 11 M you had a "Sunkist" orange right this accepted for premiums same as Sunkist. ™ "Sunkist" are the finest selected oranges, grown in the WfJ world's most famous orange land. Seedless. Tree-ripened. ORANGE SDOOH WQ vttgtfj They are the cleanest of fruits —for "Sunkist" „. . l Sendyour name and full address for our complete v\\unl I'/ ——j I^rCIIIIUHISX f ree "Sunkist" premium circular and club plan. S | • .JJ - - Every "Sunkist" orange and lemon is wrapped Address all orders for premium silverware and OlinklSt Lemons at Ymir D«»Wa CALIFORNIA FRUIT GROWERS EXCHANGE UCIUUIU " l * uur t,CdICT 5 139 NORTH CLARK STREET. CHICAGO. ILL. FRIDAY EVENING, &AFRISBURG 1&2&& TELEGRAPH MARCH 6, 1914. she makes a man want to run oft and hide where he can get out of earshot of her voice and her cackle. "Then there's the girl who pretends to be a sport and who smokes cigar ettes, although she loatlis the taste of them, and they make her sick, and who talks about how many cocktails she can drink, and who boasts of her losses at cards, and who listens to off color stories, whose mistiness she doesn't half understand. Can anybody explain why a really respectable young girl should wish to be thought to have the tastes and habits of the kind of woman we do not even mention in her presence? "Yot they do. I know dosens of per fectly innocent young women who pre tend to be tough, and who speak caau: ally of having had too much cham pagne, when the only thing they ever had too much of was an extra cup of tea. They disgust the very men that they could attract if they would only be their natural, sweet, simple selves. "And there's the girl who poses as being literary or artistic or musical, and who feels called upon to wear sllnksey clothes and never comb her hair and to go about with a rapt look In her eyes. In reality her tastes are for Marie Corelli and chromos and ragtime, but she talks In a soulful way about Ibsen and Sudermann and technique and col oratura until she gives you the fantods, and a man would go seven miles to avoid meeting her. "If she'd go along and talk about the common, everv-day subjects she un derstands. men would like her and she'd have plenty of beaux, but the average man doesn't care a hang about what Browning thought he thought, or high browed conversation, and he's going to let the girl severely alone who hands out that line of talk to him. "I've known more than one girl miss a good husband by always lugging around a copy of Maeterlinck with her. "Then there's the girl who pretends to be a great belle, and who always tells every man she meets what a heart -smasher she is, and how this man keeps her in flowers, and that man in candy, and another worries the life out of her dragging her around to theatres, and how she told another man that she just wouldn't go out in his car more than seven times a week, and how many millionaires are on their knees entreating her to marry them in the rear, when the team attached t othe hearse was frightened, bolted and ran away. "A race: The mourners were quick to see the opportunity, and digging their spurs in their mounts started up, overtaking the hearse team befose it reached the cemetery gates. "The miner to whom fell the task of acquainting the widow back East of her bereavement recounted the man's illness and death, and the run away. Wishing to assuage her grief, he added: 'lt tvill no doubt be a comfort to you. Madame, to learn that the CORPSE WON.' " The nervous man waited for laugh ter. but there wasn't a ripple. After a silence that seemed as mournful as the tomb, the big. ponderous and pompous man overflowed his chair some more, and in a voice that could have been heard away oft in to-mor row. said: "I am the pin who put the pin in pinnacle." Daysey Mayme gave a roar that shook the chandelier. Then she tit and threatening suicide If she won't. "This girl thinks she makes herself more desirable In a man's eyes by be ing desired, and the man Is wonder ing if she thinks he is boob enough to be strung with any such stories, and he's disgusted with her, because every decent man hates a liar, and particu larly he doesn't want a wife that is a Saphira. "And there's the girl who pretends to despise all sorts of womanlv things. She sneers at religion. She scoffs at family affections. She calls children brats, and declares tjiat the very sight of a baby disgusts her, and she boasts that she never puts her foot inside of the kitchen, and wouldn't know how to boil water without scorching It, and 1 tf any man thinks she's going to keep house for him he's fooled. "He isn't, because no man ever wants that sort of a woman In his kitchen. A man's ideal of a wife Is a woman who is all womanly, one whose heart is bound up in her own family, who is tender and loving to little children and old people, and who knows how to do everything in a house that turns It into a home. Whv any girl should be fool enough to think she attracts a man by posing as an example of the marble heart and the woman who doesn't know her business passes com prehension. "And most fatal of all is the folly of the girl who pretends to be better off than she is. I know plenty of poor girls who dress as if they were million aires. Every cent the family can rake up is put on their backs, and they and their mothers slave themselves to death turning and twisting their clothes so as to give the impression that they have ten times what they have. "They think this attracts men, but it scares them oft. When a man sees the daughter of a poor man diked out like Solomon in all his glory, he says. 'Not for muh: she's selfish and ex travagant and willing to work her poor old dad to death to get fine clothes. I don't want that sort of a wife.' And he passes her up. "Why do girls act so silly? Why haven't they sense enough to know that imitation wares are always cheap and vulgar, and that there is nothing else so attractive as just simplicity? "If they'd only be themselves instead of trying to be somebody else there'd be no more old maids." tered, and giggled and rippled, and choked and sputtered and shook. Then she began at the beginning and did it all again, while the nerv our man looked both frightened and dazed, and the fat man looked com placent. "The pin in pinnacle," she shrieked, "was anything ever so funny!" Moral and also Explanation: The man who told the first story was poor kin, and the man who told the second had dollar marks all over him. No one laughs at a poor kin's jokes. TO ATTEND CONVENTION Among the local photographers who will attend the annual convention of the Professional Photographers Society of Pennsylvania, to be held in Scran ton, March 17-18-19, are J. H. Kelberg and W. C. Henery. The convention was held in this city last year. Mr. Kelberg is an officer of the society. LECTIRE TO NURSES Dr. C. R. Phillips lectured on "Vac cine Therapy" before the Graduate Nurses Alumni Association, at the Har rlsburg Hospital, last night. The meet ing was held in the nurses' home. THIS COMBINATION CLOSES IN FRONT f Fine Nainsook, Crepe de Chine and Japanese Silk Used For Underwear 8187 Combination Drawers and Corset Cover for Misses and Small Women. 16 and 18 years. WITH DRAWERS THAT CAN BE FINISHED WITH BANDS OR LEFT LOOSE. The combination garment that closes at the front is such an easy one to adiust that it is in great demand. This one combines a prettily full corset cover with perfectly smooth fitting drawers so that it is perfectly well suited to youthful figures. As it is shown here, the material is fine nainsook and perhaps that is in more general use than any other but some girls like fine French crSpe for under garments and crtpe de chine and Japanese •ilk are groving in favor. For trimming, nothing is betterthan the fine Valenciennes lace, for it washes perfectly and is durable. For the 16 year sire, the garment will require a yds. of material 16, 2 yds. 44 in. wide, with yds. of beading, SH yds- of edging to trim as shown on figure. The pattern 8187 is cut in sires for girla of 16 and 18 years. It will be mailed to any address by the Fashion Department of this paper, on receipt of ten cents. Bowman's sell May Manton Patterns. Pedestrian Wins Prize But 1$ Stricken Blind Special to The Telegraph Sunbury, Pa., March 6. —Samuel W. HeHer, of Baltimore, Md., who passed through Harrisburg, Millersburg and Sunbury early In February In a walk -1 ing contest between that city and Blnghamton and New York, reached his destination inside ot the agreed time and won a prize offered by the Patriotic Order Sons of America of Baltimore. He Is'now totally blind as the result of his exertion. He has been receiv ing treatment in a Blnghamton, N. Y., hospital and his case was pronounced hopeless. To-day his brother, W. K. Heller, was in Sunbury on his wav to Blnghamton to take the blind man to his brother's home in Fleetville. His wife has not been informed of his misfortune. State Sons of Veterans Will Encamp at Sunbury Sunbury, Pa., March 6.—Tentative arrangements for the thirty-fourth an nual encampment of the Pennsylvania Division, Sons of Veterans, which will take place here June 14-18, were fin ished to-day. The lleserve will be encamped near Rolling Green Park. Headquarters will be in Sunbury, while the business will be transacted in the Twelfth Regiment Armory, Sunbury. There will be a parade each evening and a big sham battle. Thursday, the 18th, will be Governor's day, when Governor Tener will review the men. Bold Thief Steals Slot Machine Columbia Cafe Special to The Telegraph | Columbia, Pa.. March 6. A bold theft was perpetrated at Rlneer's Cafe, lin Locust street. In the center of the business district, when a stranger ! walked into the restaurant and pool i room, and in full view of the custom ers and others in the place, deliberately picked up a small slot machine, con taining: about S4O, and walked out be fore the spectators had time to realize what was taking: place. An alarm was spread, but by the time officers and others could start a search the thief had made good his escape. Helping Hand Is 21 Years Old on March 19 j The twenty-first anniversary of the i founding of the Helping Hand for Men I will be held at the headquarters of this institution. March 19. The rooms will l I be open all day. and refreshments will . be served at 7:30 o'clock and a program ' i is being arranged. 1 \ Superintendent James K. P. Demars l has asked for contributions of gro ■ | ceries, soup beans, coffee, sugar, meats, j bread, crackers, green and canned j I vegetables, fruits, spreads, etc. I Tone, Touch. Action, Durability , i And every requisite that goes to make [j up an artistic instrument. We have . I 'em. Spangler, Sixth above Maclay.— I Advertisement. Minister's Daughter and ! Congressman's Son Married Special to The Telegraph \ Columbia, Pa., March 6. Congress i man W. W. Grlest's son, George W. i Grlest, and Miss Mabel M. Richards, 1 daughter of the Rev. Dr. George W. ; Richards, president of the Reformed I Theological Seminary, at Lancaster, , were married at the home of the | bride's parents, on the college campus, in the presence of about thirty-flve guests. The ceremony was performed • I by the bride's father. hJj Soften the hardest water on wash- GOLD DUST | \ Use it wherever there's dirt or grease n I A because it cleans and purifies everything. I ITHENK. RAIRRANKCOWPANYI ! IHO GOLD DUST TWINS J MR. OR MRS. DYSPEPTIC! GET YOUR STOMACH RIGHT—PAPFS DIAPEPSIN fn five minutes! Time it! No indigestion, gas, sourness, belching "Really does" put bad stomachs in or d er —"really does" overcome indi gestion, dyspepsia, gas, heartburn and sourness in five minutes —that—Just that—makes Pape's Diapepsin the largest selling stomach regulator in the world. If what you eat ferments Into stubborn lumps, you belch gas and eructate sour, undigested food and acid; head is dizzy and aches; breath foul; tongue coated; your in- Telegraphic Briefs Importations of manufactured woolen articles more than tripled by reduction of duty under the new tariff. Governor Walsh, of Massachusetts, seeks to equalize franchise taxes so poor towns may receive larger share. J. M. Schumacher, chairman of the Rock Island svstem, says his lines will need $20,000,000 by July 1. George Broadhurst admits making $350,000 by his plays, and court allows his wife SIO,OOO a year. Boston Christian Scientists accept provisions of proposed State law regu lating medical practice. Five indictments returned against Claude Anderson, cashier of the wrecked Mercantile Bank, of Mem phis, Tenn. Five leading railroads agree to Ala bama's demand for 2 %-cent passenger fare. 1,. F. Loree, president of the Dela ware and Hudson, favors exclusion of railroads from Interlocking directorate bill. Lack of a quorum in the Senate pre vents vote on the proposed amendment for woman suffrage. sides tilled with bile and IndigesUble waste, rer.iember the moment Pape's Diapepsin comes in contact with the stomach all distress vanishes. It's truly astonishing—almost marvelous, and the joy is its harmlessness. A large fifty-cent case of Pape's Diapepsin will give you a hundred dol lars' worth of satisfaction, or your druggist hands you your money back It's worth Its weight in gold to meii and women who can't get their stom achs regulated. It belongs in your home—should always be kept handy in case of a sick, sour, upset stomach during the day or at night. It's the quickest, surest and most harmless stomach doctor in the world.—Adver tisement. Senate foreign relations committee invites General Felix Diaz to appear before it. New York police break up I. W. W meeting in New York park; two more arrests made. Journalist sent to prison in Berlin for insulting German crown prince. Paris Chamber of Commerce pe titions French parliament to delaj Panama Fair appropriation. Austrian lower chamber again sus pended in tumult. Home rule bill reintroduced in Brit ish parliament. CHICKEN AND WAFFLE SUPPER Halifax, Pa., March 6. —On Wednes day evening a number of town people enjoyed a sleighride to Millers burg and partook of a chicken and waffle supper at the Hotel Charles. The following made up the party: Dr. and Mrs. L. S. Marshall, Mr. and Mrs. M. W. Etter, Mr. and Mrs. L. W. Ryan, Mr. and Mrs. C. C. Baker, Mr. and Mrs. R. A. Bressler, Mrs. R. A. Shumaker, Mrs. O. J. Cooper, Mrs. A. H. Prengle. Mrs. H. L. Fetterhoff, Miss Iva Gemberling, Miss Anna Prenzel, Claude Ryan and Warren C. Heisler.