Newspaper Page Text
TV. U. JAC03Y, fnblisherO
Truth and Iligbt God and our Country.
$2 59 in Advance, per Annuo.
BLOOM SBURG. COLUMBIA COUNTY, PA.. WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 25, 1865.
THE STAR OF THE NORTH
IS PUBLISHED KVCRT WEDNESDAY B7
WM. II. JACOBY,
office on Main St.. 3rd Son a re below Market.
TEKMS:-Two Dollars and Fihj Cents
in advance, If not paid lilt thn end of the
year". Three Dollars will be charged.
No subscriptions taken for a period less
than six months ; no discontinuance permit
.'ted until all arrearages are paid unless at tbe
option of the editor
Ikt terms of advertising will be as follows :
One square, eight lines, one lime, SI 00
Every subsequent insertion, 25
One square, three months 4 50
One year, ................. 10 00
Who is By Jlcighbor !
BT WILLIAM CUTTER.
Thy neighbor ? it is h"e whom thou
Hast power to aid and bless
Whose aching heart and burning brow,
, Thy soothing hand may press.
- Thy neighbor! 'tis the fainting poor,
Whose eye with want is dim,
Whom hanger sends from door to door
Go thou, and succor him.
Thy neighbor ? 'tis that weary man,
Whose years are at their brim,
Bent low with sickness, care and pain
Go thoo, and comfort him.
Tby neighbor 1 'tis the heart bereft
Of every earthly gem
Widow and orphan, helpless left
Go thou, andshelter them.
Whene'er thourfner t'st a human form
Less favored that) thine own,-
Remember, Ms thy neighbor worn,
Thy brother, or thy son.
Oh ! pass not, pass not heedless by
Perhaps thou can'st redeem
On' breaking heart from misery
Go, share thy lot with htm.
BT CLH AUGUST.
. Last summer, greatly to ihe horror of my
Uucle Aleck, and equally to :he disgust of
my Aunt Jane, I determined on turning my
education to 60me purpose, and teaching
for a living. I had graduated at a fashion
able seminary with the highest honors, as
the saying goes, and I flattered mjselt that
what I did not know was uol worth know
ing. 1 had no doob: of my competency lo leach
any school, in any region, any branches, '.o
Ihe infinite satisfaction of everybody." I
- told Uncle Aleck so, and had the pleasure
of hearinghirn laugh heartily at the scheme,
jnd declare he would bet his gold lever
against a brass button, that I should fail to
pas an examination before any ordinary
school committee !
I was iudignant ! He should see, I said,
and sure enough he did tee ! As soon as it
' was noised round that Miss Isabel Blane
"desired to leach, I had numerous applica
tions from Ihe city authorities to take charge
ol classes ; but I had set my heart on hav
ing an old fashioned district school in the
country. 1 wanted to board amid the rural
shades through the snmmpr; and teaching
would afford a pleasant variation of the mo
notony, I said to myself, f bad imbibed a
perfect passion for Ihe country from a novel
I had teen reading and fancied it one
" great paradise of strawberries and cream,
blue sties, fresh butler, blooming meadows,
and sap molasses; and I thought 1 -should
enjoy life full and entirely there.
' I searched the Daily Herald every morn
ing, and read faithfully the entire list of
"Wauta" and after a while, my pains were
rewarded ty the following notice :
."Tkacher Wanted: A young lady of
frora twenly to twenty-five, who can bring
good recommendations as to character,
ability, etc., is wanted, by a highly respect'
able and intelligent community, in the
beautiful and romantically situated district
of Wellspring, to leacb a select school.
The ball of learning is located splendidly
in a cedar grove; and the society in the
neighborhood is excellent. Call on J. II
Harwell, or address a letter to him at Well- j
This advertisement seempd in nmmis
everything. This was just sncb a situation I " other Pe"on" aiJ 1 confidently.,
as I wanted. I showed it to Uncle Aleck, and 1 am pt''n of. 0,8 8araB Pini""
but be only langhed and said he'd no doubt j "Ahern ! weU' wtlat is ,he EnZUh ,aw in
but the "ball of learning" w. a In .h9n.v i re?arJ to ,ha E P"hn unum, and what
in a hazel swamp, and ihe "excellent soci
ety" a pack of gossipping old men and wo
men, who would blacken my character to
Ihe hue of ebony in less than a fortnight.
1 was not to be-convinced and before 'the
close of the next day I had written to Mr.
Har weil. Saturday's mail brought me a
. letter from him ; ns was pleased with my
tyle of address, and if I would come out
AO Wellspring at once, he thought the school
would be mine provided I could pass ibw
examination, which it was highly probable
A young lady of my talent and education
would do with Credit.
Mr. Harwell's style of address pleased
ne, aad the-ensuing Mauday afternoon
found rue at Wellspring, making my way io
lhe house of Mr. Harwell. Just before ar
riving there, I passed nondescript build
jng silnaied in ihe very midst of a rocky,
brosby swamp, .about which I was sorely
puzzled. The structure was guiltless of a
ridge pole, stove . funnel protruded lrom
tbe roof, the windows were al! oa the ven
tilating principle, and -if there ever bad
been a door, it bad left for parts unknown.
I racked my brain vainly tar a conclusion
regarding this singular building, and finally
s';.lzi tlowa ia the b?!i?f ibat it nusl be a
moke house, fallen into disuse.
On inquiry, the residence of Mr. Harwell
was pointed out to me ; and through a
small Mediterranean of dish water, and po-
'a' P3!'9'1 made y way to
door. Mr. Harwell. was at home, and so
was his dog, but the latter was so much
more wide awake than his master, that be
bad barked full fifteen "minute, and suc
ceeded in driving me to the lop of the
wood pile for refuge, before bis owner
made his appearance. -
Git out Linn!" yelled he, "don't you
know beans when the bag's omied. Git
out, I say! Ye see, Miss, they've been
building the railroad out here, and my
dog s terribly opposed to the Irisbers ! I
guess he took you for one of 'em by bis
actions. Git out you brute ! .Come down,
marm ; 1 s'pose your'e Miss Blane, eb ?
L About a dozen red-haired child'en, and a
red-haired woman doubtless their mater
nal progenitor gazed at me from the win
dows, and I overheard the latter individual
say to her oldest girl
"Humph ! wcnder if she's painted ? her
teeth looks jest like Mrs. Morgan's that she
bought of Dr. Crashmill. She hsin'l no
great shakes, no how ! Guess there'll be
no danger of my Daniel's falling in love
with her. a he did with tother one !"
Mr. Harwell showed me into the "fore
room," and after putting on hi coat and
brushing his forelock with a scrubby- brush
he announced himself ready to attend me
to the comminee.
Squire Smith, Rev. Mr. Jsricho, and Dr.
Powderman, constituted ihis augoM body.
"All on 'em mighty learned men !" re
marked Air. Harwell, "all been to college
or been to see the college, as I've hearn
'em say. They're acquainted with most of
the languages in the world, and a few, be
sides. "Mr. Jericho knows Ojibeway and
Hottentot ; Squire Smith is powerful on the
ex pur to fxdo the hahcu. corpm, ami such,
and the doctor knows all the orgins in the
rbody from the toe joint to the bridge of the
Judge of my feelings !
We Hopped, at length, before a dingy
red building,, bearing above l weather
beaten door Ihe sign in small yellow le'
ters Squire Joseph R. Smith, Jutice of ihe
Peace, and Attorney at La at for GifTrd
I flatter myself that I am a young lady of
nerve, therefore I did not tremble when
uhered into the illustrious presence.
Squire Smith was alone, but he immedi
ately dipatched a messenger lor hi col
leagues, and iu a lew , moments they ar
Young lady," said the squire, uyoa will
please to take that seat v the window. I
want a lair opportunity to judge ol your
character by your lace." '
He put on his spectacles, and the doctor
did likewise, after which the twain eyed
me closely for the space of five minutes in
silence. Rev. Mr. Jericho passed his hand
over his lore'.op, and gazed out at the win
dow, at the sand bank opposite. .
' Young . lady," said the squire, at last,
"what is your name ? "
" Blane ! Btane !
a familiar name
enough ! seems to me I've heard it before.
Doctor, do you recall the name' of Blane?
It strikes me that uu, man who was bung
last summer, was named Blane."
I modestly suggeted that ihe individual
in question bore the cognomen of Smith.
The squire looked annihilation at me.
"You need not trouble yourself to speak
nnless addressed,' the said with dignity,
"this court, and the gentlemen of ihe jury
ahem ! these, my clients I mean, my fel
low committee men, are well versed in all
that is necessary lor ihem to know. Doctor,
will you proceed with the examination? or
will you lavor us, Parson Jericho ? '
"Go on, squire," said both gentlemen in
"Ahem ! hem ! Miss Blane, allow me to
ask you If you can sqnare the contents ol a
' reciatmled triangular centipede, and find
J the cube root of the base by establishing
lhe aPex ol ,he Wk, on a perpendic-
ular line from tne equatorial circumflex ?"
" I have no dobt I could succeed as well
does Coke on Blackstone say about the in
termarriage ol blood relations
" Juno J"vh conjux erat "' returned 1, quot
ing the first Latin sentence lhai came into
my head. Luckily for ice it was sufficient
, " Ah ha !" cried Mr. Jericho, starting op
from a brown nudy, "so you are cognizant
of the Hebrew ? Put thai down in her fa
vor, Mr. Squire Smith. No woman's educa
tion is complete without a knowledge ot
that beautiful language ! Permit me a few
simple questions f Who was the first mis
sionary to Japan, who built the Ark, and in
what country, or laud do the Jibberopba
nies llighpoltity Ging Ging reside ?"
In Dixie "answered 1 Doldly.
' Dixie ? Dixie's Land oh 'yes; 1 recol
lect yer you are correct. Doctor have you
any questions to put I"
" I think I have," remarked that function
ary slowly, "Miss Blane, will yoa oblige
me by bowing jour tongue?"
1 obliged him.
"You need a small dose of Peruvian
bark, and a gentle tonic ; I think the right
lobe of the liver is slightly torpid and the
diaphragm is in a a well, it is not so
fcsalthy as it rai'ht bo. Have you everhadMu oM"i",,'r
tbe mea?l s V
". The chicken pox ?"
" Yes sir."
"The whooping cough ?'
" No sir."
No ! ah, that is bad ! If yon should
take it while here it would be horrible ! All
the children would be sure to get it and
the public peace would be destroyed . by
their whoops ! Squire put it down that
Miss Blane hat- r.of bad the whooping j
cough ; and then you cao proceed with the I
examination.', ' I
" Ahem ! hem Miss Blane, we will ex- j circles who re-ides in that quarter of the
ercise you in spelling, if you please How j c,,y- Noihiiia had been spared in the edu
do you spelt Squanamagonic " I cation of this young lady which could lend
I spelled the word to the best of ray abil-
iiy, but the squire demurred.
" A little deficient in ethy nolloger," he
said, with an ominous hake of the head,
'but I will try you further, how do you
I gave the nsual method, but be correct
"Dickahnnoiy is the word it should be
spelled thus d-i-c k-s-h-u n-a r y dick-
shunary. I am sorry to find you so defi-
"I'll examine her a little in grammar, if
Tou please," said Mr. Jericho, "youg lady
how many genders aether ?'
' Four-mascnlina, feminine, common,
r.i. n '
. . .
" Define them."
" Masculine distinguishes the names of
males leminme those of females com-
con ..enoies ministers, lawyers, and doctors
and the nenter applies' to oldachelors and
old mat. Is !"
,. . . i . .
ily three interlncurnrs were astounded.
i. ' . (-, . , , , ,.
It was full fifteen minutes before they could
. t. , ,
proceed 1 hen the squire took up the role,
. i . ... . ...
. . . . .. .
thing about the government of the school
j What would yoa do to the scholar who
i would spit in yoar face ?"
44 1 would beat birch rods up about him
till my strength failed !" said I stou lr.
"What i( that fcholar should be my boy?';
I'd not fpre him on that account !''
Yrou vronliln'. ! Your" lady,'rou are an
dacious ! lam surprised ' at you! I am
shocked and "
He did not finish the sentence, for at the
moment a drove of hog coming down the
treet. espied the open door, and came
rushinii in eviden'lv in the bona nf fnra".
. . , , , . , , . .
j Tr squire,the doctor, and the paron nt'ered
i. n , i i . i
i a simultaneous yell, and made (or tha door,
1 . , .. i , ,,, . .
closely pu rsued by Ihe porcine visitors, who
1 A .i .t, .v. . n - i . i ii
i perhaps took '.be yell as a signal to follow
fo' swill '
i " . , , ,
The squire climbed a tree the paron
took refuge in a neighboring sheep's houe
; uy,;,or tul a ',ee ",,B eira,-I1,
dowQ treet to his 'res.dence. In his
h probablj la.led lo not.ee the tall,
scraggy woman who was comma n the
uri'uoiio iiuckiiwii, ivaucu mill uailllA uiiic.
' ' r '
and a basket ol parsnips. In comenuer.ce
. . , . , 1
he ran lainy against her knocked her over
. , .
into a neigrrrorirg rnnJ puddle, and sprawl-I
. . . r '
ci. uis il Lfuuj itrtir liter icvrldcie
The woman rose io her leei surveyed her
muddy gown looked at her smashed pole
and tbe result I knew would be fearful. I
j was correct. She seized on a hue pars
, nip, and beat it up about the doctor's head
J in less lime than it takes me to'chronie'e it.
j Another, and another met lhe same fa'e.
The poles next did duty, and in the midst
! of the melee which ensued, I made go d
j my escape to the railway siation, where 1
! was lucky enough lo get on board tbe train
1 was cured of my desire to tea?h in a
By inquiry, I have since learned mat the
iionde-cripl building I had seen, was the
school house : and that it is still without a
'school marm" the committee having
been unable to find a person who could
pas examination. '
I advertie the chance, free, gratis, for
nothing. If any young lady who can bring
good recommendations, desires io try her
luck with the Wellspring literati, I can give
her a leiler ot introduction.
A Black Sdrprib. Some month since
when Lucretia Borgia waS being done with
...... ... ... - , i
Mail K.lilra aitAnii t K i f K r rj f a . t i i j i ml
cenly interrupted by the sobbing .ol some
tenderhearted female whose sympathetic
j soul was keenly alive to the uulortunate
condition of lhe aforesaid victims. A mod
est young man began to be intsrrested in
discovering the female white heart, like his
own, wai so susceptible to human feeling.
While the young Rumen was looking round
from lhe barquene, and scanning the coun
tenances of the fair ones, be thought ha ex
perienced a sensation as it something was
upon his head. Raising his hand,he found
lo his delight, thai 6ome ' young lady had
accidently dropped her cambric hankerchief
irom the box above O ir young Romeo
sotin be-ran to discover that there was an
opportunity for him to display his gallantry ;
he arose, and after privately pressing the
cambric to his lips, exteued it, delicately
secured between the tips of his fingers, for
ihe fair claimaui to take possession of. At
this morneut a head protruded over the gal
lery above, and cried iuaiuw bet distinct
tone, "Chuck it up, Sah !'' The young man
suddenly raised his eyes, and beheld the
blackest wench that ever white man locked j the name of her first husband in a Jisi oj
upon. It is needless io add that be drop- ; Massachusetts soldiers who had recent!)
ped almost lifeless in to his seat, and a !a- j een released from a rebel prison, he hav
vored few who chanced to witness. this Iu- ! ing arived at Annapolis, M !. She now had
dicrous scene burst ioto an uncontrollable i
Tainful Romantic Affair.
The residents of a certain highly respect
able portion of the West side, says the De
troit Free Piess, have been thrown into .he
mo.M agonizing state of alarm within the
past week by an occurrence at once '.he
most singular and loiboding that could have
occurred. Miss , the heroine of this ro
mantic hut distressing affair, a young lady
of about eighteen year ol age, and a per
son of many accomplishment and great
personal attractions, is the daohter of a
wealthy parents moving only in refined
lo 'enuer n an nrnameni io society, auu
nothing upon her part had been omitted
wr.ich couid indicate, in any degree, the
warmth of the gratitude with which she
had ever repaid them lor the tender solici
tude exercied in her behalf. So the young
lady's life ran on surrounded with luxury
and the ki.iJest influence of affection, until
in an unhappy hour, yielding to a glittering
I Id m nil i irti t r K i a I s Af'on r pa tf i ? i . f
j """'" - ""
! a-?in1 ''"perfect resistance ol o ir frail
j humani'y, has called out a noble trait in the
! ljJ's eh.-irae.er not known to have exited
; lhertf' a,,1 dri'Hn ,,er '""J. and
; doubiles-l , with -.ear to the p.n;ul step
! which e ,ia at la' ,aken- A '3"S ,na"
'-of considerable weal'h, a resident of th it
city, become enamoured ot the young lady,
had diiliently protected his suit for her
i i. . i -i ii. t.
! - i j
I e" had-ty mea.s ol his ap.-arent cir-
I cumstance-.ucceede J in impresu.g upon
l'ie m':K' ' her parents the de-irableue-is
! of so auspicious a union ; and in spi e of
the v oung lady's opposition, 'the proiected
3 55 ' .
matcii was lavored and incis ed upon with
all ihe plausible arguments usually upon
such occasions, if not with the additional
edict of parental authority even. Time
wore on, but ihe matter asu:ned no more
favorable an aspect. At length the lover
became imponoriate and nothing se?med
able to prevent the prize falling Irom their
grap except the speedy conummuo!i of
the forced engagement. Accordingly Tues
day ot that week was agreed brvn by the
gentleman and the jo'ung lady s.paren's
upon which to celet-rate the nuptials, and
the "bu no'e of preparatiot." resot-mlod
in ail par's ot the stately mansion. There
wa.i'ie usual hurrying :o and fro, the visit-
i iua of inps ami attendance upjn the mil-
liners. Upon M itiday evening the ward-
robe of the br'ulu wai completed, and her
t ' '
rich Irottneuux wa spread nut r lit'.ering on
ihe loilet 'table. With many coigraiula-
tions her parents retired to rest, happy in
, c . . , ,, . . . . . .
the n.ial rrium pn of lhe:r c'lenshed scheme,
i . ' , , , . , , , ,
nn.-t in !hi rnntim nlatinn r! lht iTiil.!n In.
; ire which to-morrow'- sun would usher in.
I he oo me,ailcho.
I nJ te A . o
t;', CA them. Kariy on ihe morning of
i , , . . t
i uesday the wedding day the yojng la-
, , . ,,
i t.y expressed a desire lo make a larewel!
I call upon a very intimate companion in a
, , . , ,. ,
distant p,rt of the city , and accordingly set
out lo accomplish her purpose, b;t hanev
er yet returned. Hiur af;er hour elapsed,
surprise change I to.woider in the mind of
those blin-le.l pirents, and tne deluded
bridegroom and ihee in turn nave way to
painful anxiety and overwhelming alarm as
the day waned ; and lhe disappointed
guests, with the attending clergymen, re
luctantly look their leave, with many con
dolences, and departed from ihe house.
Messengers were dipatehed in vain to
seek intelligence of 4lie fugitive her
schemes were loo well !ai 1 for discovery.
Upon the next morning ihe policb were
made acquainted witfihe melancholy taie,
and the service of expert detectives brought
ino requisition. Four days the-e untiring
men, familiar as they are with every nook
and corner of ihe city, had been al wr,'
end in seeking the hiding place of the lady,
bat to m purpose. There is abundant evi
dence, it i-aid, that she has not left the
town, yet wiin lhe thorough and de'ermin
ed searcli which practised vigilence can de
vise the adroit fugitive cat defiance to her
pursuers. Oiir reporter was inlormetl that
'he search was given up i'i despair. If
words fall short in expressing the uionin
which has overshadowed with i s untimely
presence that once happy home, how
' can the overwnelniiig an 'Uisli of
can the overwhelnmg ungui-!i of that
young an I he ples beuig be described
who?s simple resource i her own nobte
impn!-e, and whose only protection is "her
own purity of heart and thought ? The
matter is a distressing one Irom whatever
part it is viewed. Time alone can unravel
A Singular Cask. A gentleman in one
of our suburban cities raised a company
I wo or three y ears since for one of our regi
ments and departed for the battle-field, lca
ving behind a young wife. A few months
afterwards lhe lady gave birth lo a chi d
ai.d subsequently the name of her husband
appeared among ihose kiCed iu one ot the
battles fought by lhe Potomac army. A
body, said to be that of her husband, was
sent t9 her, and ihe remains were interrce,
she believing all lhe time she wms burying
her husband. The lady remained single
about a year then removing iier mourning,
was married again, and now has a child by
the secern! husband. A few weeks ao the
wife was somewhat surprised at reniiiu
two living husbands, and children by both.
My country, 'tis of thee.
Once land of Liberty,
Of thee I speak,
Land where my fathers died,
Once of the freeman's pride,
Hear from each mountains side,
My native country, thee,
Male by the noble free,
I thee would save !
With all thy rocks and rills,
Thy wood and templed bills,
Let usurpation's ill
Make thy free, slave.
Our father's God, to thee,
Auihor of Liberty,
' To thee we call !
Grant us peace, stop th fights
'Gaii. st lreedryn's holy lights,
Protect os in our rights,
God grant our all.
B. F. Taylor of th Chicago Jmrnal, a
writer whose jvery word is poetic- tho ight,
ihus speaks of the. Pfin'er, irujv -and pretti
ly. " In those picii-re of lnii-iue what
word painter s' ariMic, st ekqiii-i'.e as he ?
Read it. it.irik of it. "iris(."
The Printer is the Adjutant of'thonht
and this explains the mysteries ol the won
derful words that can kindle a Inrrre as no
smijcan thai warm a" heart a no hop
can thit word "we" with hand -in-hand
warmth iu it, for the Auihor and Printer
are engineers together. Engineers indeed!
When the little Corsica-i bomb ir led Cadiz
at the 'istar.ee ol five miles, it was deemed
the very triumph ol engineering. B-H what
is that pa!:ry range to this, whereby they
bombard ihe ages yet to be.
There he stands at ihe case and marshals
into line ihe force- amiel for truth clothed
in immortality and in Ensjli-lt And what
can be more noble than the equipment of a
though: in sterling Saxon Sjxjt with the
spear or shield therein, and that commis
sioned it whn we ara dead, to move gra 1"
ually on to "the last syllable of recorded
lime." This i to win a victory from death,
lor tnis has no d iti in it.
The Printer is called a laborer, and the
office he performs is toil. . Oh. it ; not
work but a suMitnt; ri'e be is per'ormin,
when he thus sight the engine that is lo
fl.ng a worded truth in grander curve than
missiles e'er before de-cribed fluids it ir.
to ih hn'om of an age yet unborn. Mo
throws oiThico;i indeed ; but we wonder
the ra'her lhai h does no! put his shoes off
his leet, for the p'ace whereon he stands is
A little song was uttered somewhere long
ago ; wandered a' the twilight-feebler than
a star; it died upon the ear ; but the Prin
ter tales it heie ii was Ij ing there in si
lence like a wounded bird, and h-i sends ii
from the Atk that had preserve I it, and it
flies into ihe iutiire with the olive bra:;c!i of
peace, and aroun I ihe wojld with melody,
like the dawning ot a spring morning.
A Lightning Storv. l he foMwing lizht- j
nitsg story show us why the lelegrapa is so j
given to lying : j
In a little seaport on Long. I-!and Snind, j
not manv lionr trrtm itirf mfimnnli r;r1js I
., ... .
an old coatin skiper, whoa marvellous
. i - c , , . , , . f i
tales of ad venture by sea and land, if col-
., . .t
lected ar.d published, woo. d reiioer the co(,y
. . , .. . - , . .
riht ol Miitichausen s travels worthless.
Here is a story of hi, f.-r a samp'e
,. , , '.
"It's close on to thirty years ago hat.I
was coming down lhe Sound in lhe old sloop
S.illy ; 'iwas summer lime, and lira wind
' ' '
died away, ami il commerced ihick'niti
up to uorth'ard a r: .1 wesi'ard. I in I au
ide that we was goin' lo hev a thunder
squabble, one took in sail and wared lor ii
, i . r i . - .
isyme ty nere :i come, le-mter wnite, as itir t
fiyoucouM see ; and such thunder and j
liitnng find ram a I guess wa never
seen t-tire in ihpse latitudes. The mate
was at the helm, and I was siimling at ih j
companion-way, li.e lightning striking ali '.
around the sloop, when, suddenly
big flash, I felt a curio is Jeeluig a old !
chi l, hice I hid sA'ili'V.nl quicksilver ,
come over rne. I got down b?tjvv as soon ;
as 1 could, ami feeling mighty streaked, I j
can tell you ! The squall soon pjsed oer, j
aod I tell all rigtit except an cuaccounlable !
leeling about my teet. 1 sung out lor the '
cook, who pulled off uy too s and, grange j
lo say, although it is the truth, 1 turned out i
of each one nigh on to a pint of the electric j
One in Queen citv ol the West writes :
Two yeats ago 1 came to Cincinnati to eti- j
tage in busi!ie-s; and soon obtained the as- j
ei.-tduce ol a German porter, by name Bar-
Fnniiii" iu a t-bort time mat the mud-
dv water cl the Ohio was nui as plaiat le
or heal.-hv n. it mi, hi be. 1 bounhi "a oorous
stt rii fil er and sent to the store. I told Bar
ney to take it down in the cellar and keep
it tiiied with water ut.Ul wanted.. A lew
day s al l er, I asked Barney to "bring up lhai
stone jar trotn ihe cedar."
Said he 4 1 caru.ot."
"Wnv not 1
4'1 gave the ashman sixpence this morn-
: .. I , . I k .. I I f,.., -
I II louailj ii tiMay , ui i ll a.i p.'uicu iuui
pails of water iu it, ar.d ii leaked so that I
knew you would be glad io gel -rid-.ot il."
The quickest way to demoralize the Con- j
federates would, be to send the Federal!
.... n i 1
Romance !n real Life Mixed up Affair.
Edwin C. Chase, a man about forty four
years of age, married an English woman
several years Bgo, in Needham, Mafs.,
where they lived for a time it. moderate cir
cumstances. Removing to Pennsylvania, 1
he was one- of the fortunate seekers after oil,
and amassed quite a fortune.-perhaps !
seventv or einhtv ihonnd -rfnllarrf. ' 'i
Last July, Mrs. Chase, who is described
as a fair looking woman, wearing curls,
went to Europe to visit her friends there,
taking a considerable " sum ol money wi h
During her absence, it appears, her hus
band managed to trrCure a divorce thro'the
Indiana courts, for the reason, a he says,
thnlhe was. a vixim, and he could no: live
with her, and that she went to Ensland
asainst his wishes. About two weeks ago,
Mrs , Chase returned from her visit, and
proceeded lo Meedham, Ma-s,, her former
home, where she learned thai her husband
was writing soft letters and making agreea
ble v-i-it io a young lady "scarce eighteen,"
who lived in Filz Williams, New Hamp
shire This 'wa a stunner, because, as she
say, Mr. Chase had writ :en her frequently,
during her absence, each time giving Ihe
flow of his ick a remarkably bfT'-cti'..na,e
turn. She at once started to iti vestiat the
"matter, and was, a day or to alterin Keene,
Xe Hampshire, bound lor Fitz Williart.s
"II so happened." as lhe novelists say,
that al the Eagle Hotel, in Keene, where
sf.e stopped, she was surprised, the morning
after her arrival, to learn th it her husband
was in the same hotel, and there too, on his
bridal trip, having teen married on the day
before to the lair maiden aloresaid. She
kept her own counsel, and went lo procure
more, which the did in the shape of (wo
lawyer. who speedily came In Keene from
B .(Stun. bringing a couple ol physicians con
nected with the Insane Asylum al South
Consultation was had, which resulted in
Mrs. Chased noing to the room of her hus
band that was, ar;d pulling him out of bed
much to the surprise of Mrs. Chase 2d.
Then the lawyers, and doctors were brought
in ami there was mnch cpnfusioti. A court
j ol sorne kind was speedily convened, if it
j was no! a ready in session, and in a quiet
j wny Mr Chs-e was brought before it in the
' character of an insane man. His wife swore
h was insare ; the iloc'or? knew he was ;
and, lot so being, he was taken to the South
UoMoit Re.rea-; ot w hich he remains au in- William the 1 hrd died Irom comump
rcate. Tnat he has never manifested any live habits ol body, and Imm the Mumbling
signs of ii.satitity ; has always been a goo J j of Lis I orse
businessman, and thai he had over forty ; Q-Jeeti Anne did from her attachment to
thousand do'.'ars in Keene with him, his J "rn"? water," cr, in other words, from
friends cliim io know. j drunkenness, which ihe physicians politely
The inhabitants ol Keene are very mncli ca:lt drop-y.
exciteJ over the matter ; .hey do not under- i G("u-e U,e F,Mt dieJ nf dronkenness,
stand it,a:.d here gossip is rife. The poor wh:rh h,.s phy'a'.i P!'e!y called a..
girl frDui F.:z Williams ba been sent home aPp'ecl'c fi'- .
to ponder. Mrs. Cha.ce is still "at large," ' Geore ,he Sec,M,J of a roP,ur of
et jnyina the punishment she ha inflicted. 1,16 i,ear! w,.,,ch ,h P'rild;'--1 'hat day
i . , i ,. . ... termed a visitation of G id. It is the only
llarilurd Lourant, December loth. .
. ! instance in which God ever touched bis
I'll fufiilion it U Him.
Two y oar g lawyer, Archy Brown and
Thonta Joi.es, were fo. d of dropping in.o
Mr. Smith' parlor and spending an hour 1
or t'o wrth It i- only daughter ; Mary. One .
evening, w litsi Brown was there. 8tid he;
and Mary haJ dicu-sevi every topic Bro vn J
stuldetilv in h'3 stteeitonet, struck out as
; lollo.vs :
I I." ma thiriL , Mary yon con d leave
- ' '
farther and moiliei, this pleasant home
I w' h !i ea"B ana oomfljrls a,!': emgfaie
': to the Fr U'e-t, i:h a young lawyer, v. ho
j ;S bo WXiis t.eSjis u-it ,uofessio:i lo de-
I , t .. , , - . . .
i pend upon, and wi.i, l.wn se..rcli out a new
t . , , -. , ..:. i ...
, hnrrtA ivlil.ti It l.oili.l ll vnur loin! itntv lo
, - i - j j j
u j be.iutily . .and make delihtlul and happy
like wu f
Dropping her head softly on his fchoulders
J she w h pered :
i "I ihn.k 1 could, Archy."
Weil, s..il he, "lliere's Torn Jones, who's
"oiuij to emiri!e, and waiiU to gel a wile ;
j I'll me.i'uon it to hint."'
A humorous o'd man fell iti with an igno-
1 ra ,t an ' ra'hr impertiiieni young minister,
who proceeded to ln'orm tha gentleman in
very positive terms that be could never
reach J raven unless be w as lorn again,
Ar.d have yoa teen bom again," taid
his companion musingly. ''Yes, I trust I
have." "Well," sa.d Hie old gentleman,
eyeing him attentively, 4 I Jon't think it
would hurt you to be born once more,"
The Secretary of War recently received
ihrou'i the mail, a letter containing lour
' Urge pills. There wa nothing in the let-
' ler IO indicate who the donur of the strange
General Hooker say ha is going to stay
in Detroit until greenbacks are worth as
. iuc.1 a gu:j. So he has settled down 0t
lite al last.
Wheu shall the din of ba'tle be heard no
IA .... - I - .
j wore in the land f When again snail tne
i run hi course by day, and the moon
I travel up her pale pathway at. night, and
n; niore on our country distracted,
Jli i- t. i. 1IM 9
1 Oiei?Ji'iS anu lorn oy civu war : nueu
The w Udom. nnriti. nalrotism and De-
i . ... -jw... , j, ...... w..
i mocriicy of the Kentucky Legislature 1S
j shown b5 the election of Hon. James Guru-
! r.iK to the Senat-J of the Unite I States.
Ladies will sooner pardon want of sense j.
m ? n T
Deaths of English Kings.
'William the Conqueror died from the
enormous fat, from drink, and from the vi
olence of his pas-ion. .
! William Rutus died the death of the poor
H2 that he hunted.
"enrv ,he F,rM dieJ of 'ony.
Her.ry the Second died of broken hear,
c&swued oy the bad conduct of his chiU
Richard Coctirde Li tin die ! like the ani
mal Irom which his heart was named, by
an arrow from an archer.
John died, nobody knows how, but it is
said of chsgrin, which we suppose, is au
o her term for a doe of hellebore.
.Henry the Third is said to-have died a
Edard the First is likewise said to have
died of a "natural . sickness," a sickness
which it would puzzle all the college of
phy sicians to denominate.
Edward the Second was most barbarously
and indecently murdered by' ruffians em
ployed by his own mother and her para
mour. Edwajdthe Third died of do'age, ar.d
Richard the Second ol starvation the very
reverse ol George the F.iunh
Henry the Fourth is said to have died "of
fits caused by uneasines.-," and uneasiness
in palaces in tho-e limes was a very com
Henry the Fifth is said lo hsve died'of a
paiful afiliclion, prematurely!'' Thiols a
Courtly phra.-e for getting r;d of a King.
Henry lhe Sivth died iu prison, by means
known then only to his ju'or, and known
now only to Heaven.
Edward lhe Fifth was strangled io the
tower by. his uncle, Richard the Third.
Richard the Third was killed in battle.
Henry the. Seventh wasted away as a
miser ought to do, and Henry the Eighth
died of carbuncles, fat and fury, while Ed
ward ihe Sixth died of a decline.
Queen Mary i taid io have -died ''of a
broken heart," where: she died of a sur
feil from eating top much ol black pud
dir.as. Old Q leer: Bess is sai I io have died of
melancholy, Irom having sacrificed Essex to
his enemies her prirpte character not be
ing above suspicion.
James tne First died of drinking, and of
the effects of'a nam?les vice.
' Charles the First died a n-h'ejus death,
on ihe scaffold. and Cturles the Second ded
suddenly, it is said, of apop!ey,
George the ThirJ lie.l as he had lived, a
madman. Throuho.j: life, .he was at leas
a consistent monarch. "
George the Fjurdi died of gluttony and
A laricJcjs Story.
: The following ex'raordmary story, in cir-
, ' 1 '
i cuiation Paris, i given lo the world oa
g:.od authority :
A Russian nobleman, extremely wealth v
and very reerveu and melancholy, has ap-
pearml of late in the best circles, lo which
be had most distinguished introducers
n.. . . ,, ,
The Rusian became remarkable for wear-
- , t ,
1 n ci a rin n( r.nlitc.jl rr-t nnrt i nn A . : n
" r- ' ' ' v. iu j-i uuii. j lyici 1 11
nearily theeniire fi.iger and of slngul ir ap
' pearar.ee, the centre being cotipo-sed of a
substar.ee resembling jet, which was set in
j :old. No one ventured io ask lhe charae-
ter of the ring cf lhe causa ol its bein2
worn, and placing the "wearer, a studious
quiet man in trie light of being an eccentric
j individual. A lady, however, who w
; piqued to know something uoout lhe matter
at last mustered the requisite courage m.il
Monsieur, every one is very much strick
; w;tn the singular character ot lhe ring yon
wear, and I lor one would like to know its
origin. The Ru-sian made a i.ervoos
' twitch with his hand as though be woulJ
! lik to hide it, when he replied, "Madam,
the riffg Is not a jwel,a you suppose, bu:
! a tomb." Tl. curious fathered around
j while he continued ''The jet substance is
the body ol rny wife ; she was Italian. (
' promised her that I would guard her day
' and night during my life, and she repo-ed
: in my word, which has never been Jbroken.
1 took the body of my wife lo Germany
w here lhe most able chemist of the day
! promised to tednce it, by powerful dissolv--
! enis atul t.y great compression, to a size
; wcicii couLi emMe me io wear it as a
' souvenir. For eight days he labored al-
j most constancy in my presence, and 1 saw
lhe ile-r remains graaually dissolve and in-
t .'11.1 . ' . t .
j icsiiy tut uie residue was me compact ma
which you see in the ring, which is my
( dear wife, whom, a I promised, I w ll
! never quit day nor night during my life."
' . -
j A venerable lady in br hondreth year
1 I.-, i i . k. f
1 ""4 uiUl,:t;l. W!' "-'ea ir.e goou
; old age of e.gluv. 1 he mother s gnef wa
S'e: "d o 'r.end who came io condole
j wiih her she remarked, "Oi, dear ! I knew
i I should never be able io raise that child !"
Wanted. The receipt . which is si vet)