The star of the north. (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, May 14, 1856, Image 1

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    THE STAR OPI THE NORTH.
ft. W. Weaver* Proprietor.]
VOLUME 8"
THE STAR OF THE NORTH
W PUBLISHED EVERT WEDNESDAY MORNING BY
R. W. WEAVER,
4? F fit t; H Up stairs, in the new brisk build
irig, on the south side of Main Street,
third square below Market.
TERMS:—Two Dollars per annum, if
paid within six months from the time of sub
scribing ; two dollars and fifty cents if not
paid within the year. No subscription re
ceived for a less period than six months ; no
discontinuance permitted until all arrearages
are paid, unless at the option of the editor.
ADVERTISEMENTS not exceeding one square
will be inserted three times for One Dollar
and twenty-five cents for each additional in
sertion. A liberal discount will be made to
khose wbo advertise by the year.
YEARS TO COMET
BV CHARLES SWAIN.
A day will dawn I ne'er shall see,
A nigbt will set I ne'er shall know,
The wave-tides of humanity
Thus ever circle, lo and fro
The dew with gems shall bed the flower,
The bird make rich the morn with song,
And Mind, still climbing hour by hour,
Find worlds beyond the starry throng.
Years shall return lo future years
What ages unto them have given,
And thsl high power wliich-sFuith reveals,
Grasp the fix'd hopes of earth and Heaven.
What younger Howard then might feel—
What other Wilberforce arise—
What Burke assprt the general weal—
What Ross or Neptune span the skies?
The joys, the hopes, the interests,
ITiat animate the bosom now,
Shall lend their glow to other breast*—
And,flush the young enthusiast's brow.
W-hat theory shall then succeed I
What deeper power—what newer theme,
What fresh discovery supersede
The electric flash—the steed of steam ?
Who'll be the bard to England dear,
When centmies have filled and fled ?
Or wbo the sTatesrnen crowds will cheer,
Worthy the Peels or Chathams dead?
The passions thst distract mankind—
The pride—the envy—the mistrust—
Shall they be scatter'd on the wind
That lifts the banner of the just?
Shall Christian sense e'er sheath the swottl,
Shall simple justice rule lire lund,
Shall Law its shield of right' afford,
A right That all may understand?
Robber {loots.
THEOPIIRASTUS TIMMS was the junior part
ner of a large firm in New York City. Last
autumn, as Newtown pippins were coming
in, Theopbrastus went out of town, on a
collecting tour for his house. He was absent
several months; during this lime Timma
and his wife, for he had a wife, exchanged
th# warmest of letters. Timms only longed
10 be at home, and Mrs. Timms only longed,
al least she said so, to have her Tim my once'
more by her side. Timms at length closed
his affair in the west, the' land of wild cat
Banks, and departed for New York. But
Theopbrastus is a fellow full of kinks, as he
expressed it, and was determined lo give
Mrs. Timms a surprise. So he never com
municated the fact to her that he wa9 already
on tiis way lo her. Timms arrived at night,
late, and over-paid a hackman, (who would*
not have slept soundly had he not cheated
Timms,) to carry him with all speed to the
Hotel, in which were his Lares, Penates, and
his Mts. Timms. H dropped out of (he
coach as if it were infected, and rushed
along the passage to his wife's room, lo
which be had a key. Ha ! what sight is it
that freezes his blood ? Bools as I live, and
boots at Mrs. Timm's door. To Timms the
boots were the algebraic sign of an unknown
man, where he ought not to be. . With one
vengeful movement he has drawn a rusty
digger, which he carried in the West, and
with another he hae bis key in the door.—
Mrs. Timms is awakened by I he noise, gives
a gentle shriek, recognizes the intruder, and
cries out joyfully, "Why, Timmy, dear, is
that you ?"
"Timmy, don't Timmy me, madam, until
you explain them BOOTS!" cried the infu
riated Theoprastus, as he plunges the dagger
under the bed, without looking, however,
into the cofa and elsewhere.
"Boots! Where?'.' cries Mrs. Timms.
"Where? Door!" bellowed sententious
Timmy.
"Why, you fool, they're my Indus Rubbers,
new style 1"
Timms oan't bear the long India Rubber
boot now, and many share bis prejudice.
DINNER or A ROMAN EPICURE. —A dinner
given by Vitellius to his brother, bad, says
Santonins, portions of seven thousand most
choice birds in one dish, and of two thousand
equally choioe fishes in another. There
stood in the centre a dish, called, from its
enormous size, Minerva's buckler; and of
wbat composed, think ye ? Of the livers of
saeri, the brains of pheasants and peacocks,
the tongues of parrots and the bellies of lam
pray eels, brought from Carpathia and the
remotest parts of Spain in ships of war sent
out expressively for that purpose.
DAVID GARRICK was fond of fame, and
equally fond of money ; and few men had
it more in their power to gratify both of these
passions. Foots sometimes threw out pleas
antries on Garriok's avaricious propensity.—
Being once in company with Garrick, in'bis
garden at Hampton, Roscius, having a'guin
ea in his hand, said, "I think I could throw
this guinea to the other side of the Thames."
The English Aristophanes expressed his
doubts, "Though, I believe, added he, "that
yon can make a guinea goaifar as any mtn."
The waters of the world are navigated by
145,000 vessels of 12,904,687" tons. Of this
the Unitsd States have 5,500,000 tons, Great
Britain 5,000,000; Germany 1,000,000; and
France 716,130 tona
BLOOMSBURG, COLUMBIA COUNTY, pA., WEDNESDAY/MAY 14, 1856.
I From Smacker's History of Catkarine It.
F THE lUllttl OP CATHERINE 11.
The Court of St. Petersburg, at this period,
was certainly one of great splendor and dis
tinction. It was regarded with profound re
" spect by the rest of Europe. The magnifi
| oence of the empire over whioh it ruled, at
. once gave it grandeur and pre-eminence.—
i That empire was equal, in superficial extent,
t to all the other kingdoms of Europe'combin
ed ; extending from the Baltio to the Black
! Sea, and from the dominions of Maria-Ther
esa far fnto the untrodden deserts of Tartary.
Its capital, planted on the marshy shores or
the Neva, by the rnagio wand of the great
Peter, had grown up into a stupendous mass
of palaces, temples, and citadels, whose gild
ed spires of mingled Asiatic and European ar
chitecture, pierced those northern heavens,
and glittered in the morning and evening sun.
Under this dominion, were assembled nations
of many distact climes and kindreds : Cos
sacks of the Don, Calmucks, Pules, Circas
sians, StbOhans, Tartars, Germans, and Rus
sians; while the decrees of the Great Em
press were received, and obeyed with rever
ence, by one-fourth of the inhabitants of the
civilized globe.
Her court itself could vie, in lavish splen
dour, in feminine beauty, in princely wrath,
in illustrious names, in manly genius, and in
its courtiers of.high and noble birth, with the
proudest among men. There,as a fit centre
to so magnificent a throng, was the mighty
Empress herself; a woman of high and dar
ing spirit, who had ventured boldly into the
. most desperate and perilous vicissitudes of
fortune. By the charms of her wit, and the
brilliancy of her genius, she had proved her
self att equal antta'worthy associate of the
most illustrious personages of the age: of
Frederick the Gieal, of Voltaire, o'f Euter, of
Diderot. By the comprehensive energy of
her mind, she had won the palm in states
manship, and stood araoug the first legisla
tors of the times. She had uniformly tri
umphed in the dangerous game of war; and
even the ancient capital of the Roman em
pire in the East, the Queen of cities, the ad
miration of the whole world, herself had trem
j bled on her hills, at'the mighty name of the
sovereign before whpso invincible legions,
the children of the Pfophet had so often fled
in battle, There, sufrounded her, wt,re men
and women of illustrious name, talents and
character: Gregory Orlof, remarkable from
his immense stature and daring mind ; who,
when in the prime of his vigorous manhood,
had aided to crush the life from the tremb
ling frame of the expiring and imploring Pe
ter ; who long had triumphed as the cherish
ed lover of his grateful sovereign ; and who
had astonished foreign countries by the reck
leis extravagance of his expenditure, while
traveling lo assuage the fierce fibres of his
soul, when he saw his place usurped by a
more graceful and fascinating lover. Now,
his lofty head whitened with the frosts of age,
he still presented a bold and daring front—a
worthy representative of the rnde
( tie Genius of the North; wi'h those checker
ed fortunes, his history and hie lile had been
so long and so closely identified. There was
the beautiful, the accomplished, the roman
lic Princess Dashkoff; at first the intimate
and bosom friend of the Empress, beforo she
had ascended the throne; who had slaked
her life upon the throw, which was to win or
lose a crown; who in the hour of victory bad
shared the equal joy of her triumphant friend,
and now, after various vicissitudes, and the
, full experience of the pleasures and sorrows
of ambition, of love, and of friendship, was
calmly reposing in the enjoyment of her fame,
her recollections, and the Affection of her
sovereign. Among that group were to be
seen the aged Psnin, grown gray in the ser
vice of his honored mistress; the chivalrous
and daring Alexius Orloff whose vigorous
arm had destroyed the perillous conspiracy
of Pugatechef; the veteran Marshal Munich,
who during the sixty five years of his active
life, had served morre sovereigns, had fought
more battles, had won more victories, *and
had experienced more of the grandeur and
the littleness, the changes and the vicissi
tudes ol fortune, than all the generals then
in Europe combined. There was the re
nowned Romaotzofif, who had destroyed the
boasted armies of the Sulttu on many an en
sanguined field, and caused the blood of the
infidels lo flow in torrents, on many a trium
phant plain. There was Prince Galftzin, the
elegant courtier, and the accomplished slates
man ; and lastly, though not least was the
ecceclrio Potempkin, an engine in human
nature; possessed of great talents and great
foibles, capable of wisely governing empires,
incapable of governing himself; enjoying ev
ery gratification which lavished millions
could bestgw, and yet, unsatisfied and dis
pleased ; able to overreaoh every other states
i man and diplomatist in Europe, and yet him
self deoeived by hie own valet de chambre.
There were collected, by the munificence
of the Empress, men distinguished in every
science and every art; poets, historians, phi
losophers, artists, soldiers, courtiers, and prel
ates ; who, though some . I their names have
siuoe descended lo the shades of oblivion, in
Iheir own ' day stood high in contemporary
dislinciion and renown.
Muny distinguished foreigners wefa then
attracted by the splendour of the court of St.
1 Petersburg, aud honored it with iheir pres
i ence. Among thasa waa the renowned Duch
t ess of Kingston. In 1777 the waves of the
' Gulf of Finland waited her magnificent yacht
to the quays of the Neva. Thia lady was
oelebrated for her great beauty, her wit, ber
i luxury, ber excentrloitiee, and ber amorous
I adventures. She was attended by Garnosky,
1 at that lime her favorite. Her diatinotien in
the world of fashion and of dissipation, made
her visit the Russian capital, an event of con
siderable coneequeuce. Her yacht had been
damaged by a severe storm an inundation
upon the coast, and the Empress had it re
paired at her own expense. Accordingly,all
its stores snd sumptuous furniture were un
laded , and lodged in the apartments of the
Admiralty, and then, by the labor of some
hundreds of people, and by means of levers
and engines constructed for the purpose, the
yacht was lifted on shore, and the repairs
completed.
After a short residence, however, the Duch
ess displayed too much the weaknesses of
her character, to retain the respect of the
Russian court. She did not maintain that
dignity of behavior, and that elegance of
manners, which became a woman of exalted
rank. At times, she seemed by her lavish
expenditure to rival the entertainments of the
palace ; at others she excited uoiversal con
tempt by tier meanness and servility. The
consequences were unpleasant. The Em
press withdrew her atteulions. She sank in
to neglect and obscurity with the court; and
the mortified Countess was constrained to
depart from St. Petersburg, and sail for Italy,
where heradventures became afleiwards suf
ficiently notorious.
Catharine did not neglect any means where
by the attachment of her subjects might be
secured. In 1779 she established two honor
ary orders; that of St. George and St. Vladi
mir. The former is a military order, and di
vided into four classes. Its badges are a
black ribbon with a George and a dragooc.
In 1790 this order was worn by about five
hundred persons. A certain numbet ol each
class enjoy pensions of from one to seven
hundred rubles. The order of St. Vladmir
was instituted in 1785, by the Empress, on
her twentieth coronation day. lis chapter
was held in the of St. Sophia. The
Alar is of sight points, of gold and silver, hav
ing a red area, bearing a cross, with a rib
bon of two black stripes and one red one. In
1799 the number of knights was seven hun
dred.
Amid the perplexities of a thousand cares,
Catharine found time even to woo the muses.
It is well known that she was the author of
comedies, in which fanaticism and supersti
tion were attacked with severity and ridicule.
She displayed her talents as an author in
the "Instruction for the Code of Laws,"
which exhibits the masculine mind of a pro
found legislator, and which was composed
by herself, and written in full in her own
hand.
Even these multiplied oares and labors did
not prevent liei; from indulging in the liahtar,
tsflwnw*ttmii ryi lovo ■nit tjf uttventure. She
possessed all a woman's caprices. The Ser
vian Zoritch had now enjoyed her affections
for a twelvemonth, during which time he bad
received very considerable presents. His
mistress seemed perfectly safisfied with him.
All at once, he received permission lo enter
on his travels. Astounded at ibis sudden re
verse of fortune, Zoritch ran in dismay to Po
tempkin. The minister, pitying the misfor
tune of this harmless favorite, was willing to
exert hinAelf in his behalf. He repaired to
the Empress, and inquired the reason ol ber
sudden change of feeling. She answered :
"1 was fond of him yesterday: to-day I am
not. Perhaps, if he were better educated, I
might love bim still; but his ignorance puts
me to Ibe blush. He can apeak no other lan
guage than Russ. Let him travel into France
and England, and learn foreign languages."
Zoritch, finding the Empress inexorable,
yielded to necessity, and visited the varions
countries of Europe. He spent some tiraeal
Paris, and afterwards returning lo Russia, he
resided at a small town on the Dnieper,
where he built a theatre, and lived at an
euormous expense. He never returned to
oourt.
The tame day that taw the dismissal of
Zorilcb, Potempkin set about finding a suc
cessor for bim. But Catharine had already
anticipated him. Going that very evening
to the palace, he beheld a handsome youth
behind the chair of Catharine, whom he in
stantly knew to be the favorite. His name
was Korsakoff, a seargent in the imperial
guards. This person possessed a handsome
figute, and elegant manners; bat he was as
deficient in education and talent at was his
predecessor. He was not adapted therefore
to encroach upon the influence of authority
of Potempkin. Immediately after his eleva
tion, be thought that it was essential to bis
dignity, that he should possets a library.—
Accordingly he sent for the principal book
seller of St. Peteisburg, and told him his
wishes. The merchant inquired what books
he would be pleared to have? The favorite
answered: "You understand the matter bet
ter than I; that is your business. Let there
be large books at'the bottom, end smaller
and smaller up to the lop. That is (he way
they stand in the Empress' library." The
bookseller, understanding hit interests in the
case, went to hit warehouse, unearthed a
number of old German commentators on the
Bible and jurisprudence, which had lain for
many years in sheets, ever since he had ta
ken Ihem for a bad debt, from a bankrupt
bookseller in Leipsic ; he had them elegant
ly bound, and placed them at high prices in
the favorite's library. He shrewdly inter
spersed among them, a set of Voltaire, of
Rousseau, of Buffon, and o'.her fashionable
writers, at convenient distances, in conspic
uous positions in the library, to be at band,
in case some of Korsakoff's more erudite
friends should enquire for them. For the rest,
their elegant eateriors were a sufficient sub
stitute for their internal defects. The favorite
was highly pleased at their learned appear
ance, and there ended his acquaintance with
them.
1 Prince Potempkin was at this period al the
Truth and Bight tied aid Coutry*
summit of hia ministerial powvr aid influ
ence. Tbe court, Am arayJie aavy, all
were aubject to bis authafjjfrye appointed
the miniatera, tbe generfjßjHjflkvoritsa. He
also removed them at blaaHße. Hia out
ward manner was rude iMflpiuth in tbe
extreme; but be was is fflgßt one of tbe
most artful and crafty of jkflr-He exerted
a supreme control over tbCSpress; but be
maintained that supremamjUf seeming to
iivc and labor only for and her
aggraiidizement. HelreaMwp highest dig
nitaries cf the empire wlUnal rudeness
which borde.x on conlemgi|gj|e yet he ap
peared to defy and despieaLWMr hostility.—
Marshal fiomantzof alone,'4ul tbe courtiers,
did not humble himself bdjjßpthe minister.
There was, constantly, a SUM enmity be
tween the parties. The hJMnUolempkin
extended even to the aitterVSßlltzof, the
Counleas Bruce, and friend
of Catharine. He detNimp^if' possible, to
destroy the influence of biAh.
Korsakoff, being at this time the imperial
favorite, was often thtOWn into the society of
the Countess Bruce. The benefits which his
mistress heaped upon him, should at least
have secured his gratitude, if Aey could not
inspire him with love. He abatfid at any
rate have been faithful to herp .Potempkin
discovered that the Countess la|iei& the favor
ite. But as yet, the constraint trader whioh
the latter lived was so great, that it had been
impossible for her to sbtain tie gratification
of her wishes. Potempkin disistygi the lov
ers to overcome all the obstacles gsfiich stood
in their way. He contrived thefpieans of
their secret interwiews, and then ((Babied the
Empress to discover, that she had-been de
ceived by both friend and favetilajbShe im
mediately banished tbe formlter em
pire, and the latter to Moscow. IF'she was
munificent in her attachments, stt. was al
so terrible and inexorable in her vengeance.
The next connection which Cathajfhe form
ed, was one of inlenser and deeper feeling,
than any which she had eimiienced for
many years. The same day
was dismissed she fixed herch|Be upou one
of the chevalier guards, naiAl Lanskoi,
sprung from an ancient Polish ffi||lly;ayouth
of the most graceful figure, andr*-xemarkable
beauty,- which the imagination of no man
can conceive. His favorable(Satrance had
at first recommended him to -Hie notice of
Catharine. But his ouly mevils wereltaot
those of his person. His disp<j|kion was as
certained, upon a more intimate acquaint
ance, to be respectful, affectionate, and con
stant.* Of all the favorilgg vyfrom Catharine
massively ail on ill AJ i
braces, th's was tho or.ewaom most sftwlov
ed, and who approved himself worthy of her
affection. Art has rescued his lovely features
from the common oblivion, and thbir beauty
and sweetness are so great, as easily to ac
count for the intensity of the passion with
which he inspired his royal mistress. That
vsry fierceness of passion itself, it appears,
was afterward the fatal cause of his early and
premature death. A fever carried bira off,
in the course of a year, produced it was as
serted, by his 100 ardent devotion to the
pleasures of the woman who adored him.
Though at this period of her reign, Catha
rine's foreign snd domestio relations were
peaceful, yet she determined to resume hos
tile intentions toward Turkey. She desired
to enter into a closer alliance with Joseph 11,
the Emperor of Germany. To arrange the
basis of their allianoe, she requested him to
meet her at Mohilef in Poland. During all
her frequent journies, it is worthy of remark,
(hat Catharine never intrusted the adminis
tration of affairs during her absence, to her
son, the Grand Duke. Though by birth the
generalissimo of the Russian armies, he nev
er commanded a regiment. Though nomi
nally Grand Admiral of the Baltic, he was
never once permitted to visit the fleet at Cron
siadt. This conduct on the part of tbe Em
press might stem mysterious to us, did we
not know how illy imperial beads reposed on
their pillows of down, and how often appre
hension for their safety, and suspicions of
the fidelily of their best friends, haunted their
restless spirits. During her absence in this
instance, she intrusted the government of St.
Petersburg, ane the administration of her em
pire, to Prince Galnzin.
When Catharine reached Mobiief, Joseph
11. had preceded her. The pomp and splen
dor of the Russian Empress, contrasted
strangely with tbe simplicity and plainness
observed by the Austrian monarch and his
retinue. The latter has even traveled (hither
incognito, uhder tbe pseudonym of Count
Falker.stsin. His aversion to pomp and eti
quette was indeed remarkable. During bis
jonrney from Vienna to Mohilef a person al
ways rode one station iu advance of tbe im
perial carriages, who announced their ap
proach to the postmaster, ordering him to
provide dinner or supper for the approaching
company; as for himself, he would be con
ten'. with a fowl, or a sausage, and a draught
of common beer. After taking ihia refresh
ment, be would set of for the next station.—
He then departed with the thanks of the post
mallei for apprising him of tbe approach of
tbe distinguished cavalcade. Tbe reader
need scarcely be informed of tbe fact, that
Ibia forerunner was no one else than the Em
peror himself.
After the conferenoes were over, he con
tinued his journey to St. Petersburg. He
there visited tbe port of Crortstadt, and every
thing that was curious in the gorgeous capi
tal of the Czars—tbe arsenals, the dock yards,
the manufactories o.f various kinds, ths Acad
emy of Soiencea, the temples, and tbe mon-<
uments of art and genius. Tbe result of the
deliberations of the two sovereigns was, that
they agreed to attack tbe Turka iu concert;
to abate the spoil# between them; to re-ei
tablieh the ancient republics of Greece.—
Catharine consented to patronize the barter
of Bavaria for the Austrian Netherlands; at
the same time engaging to support him a
gainst soy opposition of the King of Prussia,
and the other princes of the German Empire.
Joseph 11. left St. Petersburg astonished, as
well he might be, at the strange mixture of
barbarism and refinement which character
ized everything which was presented to his
view; nor could be conoeive how a woman,
who seemed capable of leading the world by
her genius, could consent to be so absolutely
governed by two of ber own subjects; the
one as minister, Ibe other as favorite.
* Lanskoi was not only handsome in per
son, graceful, and accomplished ; but as an
admirer of the arts, a friend to talent, amiable
and beueficenl. Every one seemed to take
an intaresl in the Sovereign's predilection for
bim. Even Potempkin feared his influence,
and from the circumstance of his dying with
horrible paius in his bowels, it was pretend
ed that Potempkin gavo nim poison. Cath
arine in vain lavished upon bim during his
sickness the most tender cares. She reveiv
ed his latest breath. She vhut herself up for
several days, which she passed in the vio
lence of griel. She accused heaven; she
would cease lo reigo ; she swore never to
love again. Like another queenly Artime
sia, she erected over his beloveil remains a
superb mousoleum, in the garden of her pal
ace. Her affection turned into rage against
the nnhappy physician wbo could not save
him, and who was obliged to throw himself
at his Sovereign's feet to implore pardon for
the impotence of hia art.— Vide Secret Memoirs
of the Court of St. Petersburg.
Twelve Questions lor a Wet Sandny.
. 1. If it were any other Iday, would 1 be
lept a! home by the' weather?
2. Did I ever stay away from my busi
ness, from a parly, (rom an amusomeul, for
such a rain or snow as this?
3. If it were a publio meeting for some
other purpose than tlivine worship, would I
think it too bad a day to go out ?
4. Would I go to church if I could make
or save a dollar by it, A gain a customer ?
5. If my own church be dislanl, is there
none that ia near where I may be sure of
finding a vacant seat to-day ?
6. If I am afraid of spoiling my best
clothes, had I not better go in my common
dress, than loe the benefit of the meeting,
and neglect my duly?
9. Have I not overcoat, overshoes, and
umbrella, that will keep me from taking
cold, and preserve my Sunday dress from
injury ?
8. Am I not nearer to the church than ma
ny who are never kept away by bad weather?
9. If every one should find an exense for
VUTIIIW mm —.ILY mm I BE
the appearance of our churches on the Lord's
day ?
10. Is it not a dishonor to my Maker, if
for reasons that would not influence me in
worldly matters, I keep from the stated wor
ship of the sanctuary ?
11. Is not a wet Sunday at home a more
dreary day than one that is diversified by go
ing out to ohuroh?
12. Am I willing that my children should
learn by my example that they may go to
school, to market, to store, to shows, in all
weather—but not to chiych ?— Presbyterian.
SENATOR JONES, OF TENNESSEE —This gen
tleman made a speech at the festival at the
Slash Cottage, in Virginia, in honor of the
birth day of Henry Clay, on Saturday week.
He embraced the occasion to define hia po
litical position thus;
I am no aspirant for high favors or for po
litical place or honor. Thank God, lam in
a position to expect nothing. I hope for noth
ing, I look for nothing. I am in common
parlance an outsider. I do not belong to
the Democratic party, thank God I [Laugh
ter.] Ido not belong to the so-called Amer
ican party, acd I thank God for that. [Contin
ued Laughter.] I belong to the Henry Clay
party. I have never veered to the right hand
or to the left. I love the memory of Henry
Clay; but I never worshipped any false gods
1 stand now, Mr. President, where 1 have
ever stood and where I mean to stand as long
fs I shall stand at all. lam an old-fashion
ej, old school Henry Clay, Heaven-descend
ed and consecrated Whig. [Great Laughter.]
He wound up hia speech by a touching
tribute to him "whose last sleep
can now disturb." 9
AN Irishman, seeing sn undertaker carry
ing a very small ooftin, exclaimed, in the ut
most surprise, "Ods blood! is it possible that
that coffin can be intended for any living
creature!"
AN Irishman who had been fined several
weeks in succession for getting drunk, cool
ly proposed to the judge that he should take
him by the year at a reduced rate.
E7* Chinese goods now come over the
Isthmus from Canton, by was of San Fran
cisco. Lax week forty cases of Chinese silks
arrived at New York iu this way, by express.
BT What did Napoleon mean when he ssid
that "bayonets think ?" The meaning is ob
vious—every polished bayonet is oapable of
reflection.
OT The store of flour on hand at present
in Rochester, N. Y., is 10,200 barrels—of
wheat, 68,000 bnshels.
HT "Do you see anything ridiculous in
this wig?" said a brother judge to Currau.—
"Nothing but the bead," Curran replied.
The Havana Fruit trade tba past season
amounted to $100,000; that of the Medite
ranean, $500,000.
The Eastoc Bridge baa daolared a divi
dend of ten per cent, on six months,—a good
investment.
A ihousaud new housea will be ereated in
Indianapolis, Indiana, the oomiog season.
I CHIP# FROM N. Y. PICAYUNE.
I ELECTION STORT. —The elections and pre
paratory canvasses are a prolific source of
fun. During the lata contest between Beaoh
and Gardner, of Massachusetts, Ben Butler,
a distinguished Boston lawyer, labored hard
for the success ol the former. Qn one occa
sion, Ben, in Behalf of Beaeh, was address
ing the unlerrified democracy of H
Most of the listeners were (of course) know
nothings. 'Now,' said Ben, in a tone of great
candor, "(here is one thing I must admit.—
Gov. Gardner was one of the most useful
members of the constitution convention of
183!>." (Immense applause from know noth
ings.) "Permit me, gentlemen," said Ben,
"to explain. The weather was hot and ex- ,
hausling. The Governor's house was near
the State House ; and you could get a belter
glass of brandy there than at any other house
ia the city." This was the dampest kind ol
blanket, and Samuel subsided incontinently.
Gen. JACKSON once went to hear a noted
backwoods preacher, named Carlwright, dis
course, and one of his parishioners, as be
entered the church, whispered in the ear of
Ihe orator, "The old Hero is in the congrega
tion, lay aside your bluntness to-day." Cart
wrighl, who was never known to whisper,
exclaimed aloud, "Who cares for General
Jackson ? He'll go to hell as soon as any
other man, if he don't repent." Hs preach
ed with his usual bluntness, and in the thun
deritig tones of his native eloquence, which
ever and anon made bis hearers quake. The
sermon being over, a gentleman asked Gen.
Jackson how be thought of 'that rough old
feltow ?' to which he replied, "Sir, give me
twenty thousdhd of such men, and I'll con
quer the world, including the devil."
) THE CRADLE AND THE OLD ARM CHAIR.—
No bouse is complete without two pieces of
furniture—the cradle and the old arm chair.
No house is full unless it has in it a babe and
a grandfather or a grandmother. Life be
comes more radiant and perfect when its two
extremes keep along with it. The two loves
which watch the cradle aid serve the chair
are one. But how different in all their open
ings and actions. To Ibe child the heart
turns with more tenderness and love. To
the aged parent, love is borne'upon a service
of reverence. Through the child you look
forward—thiongh the parent you look back
ward. In the child you see hope, joys to
come, brave ambition, and a life yet to be
'tfrawn forth in all its many aided experien
ces. Through the silver-haired parent, you
behold the past, in its sceces enacted, in its
histories encased.
Tv A man bsm< reproved for wearing, repli
ed lie am not ttntfw <br.i_j,y llg any h'arm in
it. "No harm in it!" said a person present;
"why don't you know the commandment,
'Swear not at all!' " "Why, Ido not swear
at all," replied he ; "I only swear at those
who offend me.''
TELEGRAPHIC HOAE. —A joke was played
in Toledo, Ohio, by Ihe telegraph operators,
on Saturday, in sending to the hotels and de
pots about town, to enquire for a trunk mark
ed "L. E. Fant." After a close search by
the baggage masters, clerks, Sic., they all
carne to the conclusion that the Elephant al
ways takes his trunk with him.
SOME'.TWO years ago Coleman and Stetson,
of the Astor House, had a pet waiter, whet
suddenly, for some unexplained reason,
them. The waiter was called Mr. Mooney.
The)day before yesterday, Mr. Coleman hap
pened in at the Metripolitan Hotel, and there,
in the reading) room, he saw Mooney, as
large as life, smoking a cigar, and perusing
the morning papers.
"Good morning, Coreman," said Mooney,
without rising.
"Good morning,'' responded Coleman, : 'I
am glad to see you. Are you here now—l
mean are you located in this hotel V'
• "Y-es, si:."
"Glad to hear that too. You'll find the
Leland's first rate men; you'll like tbem I
know." "
"Yes, they're pretty clever fellows," said
Mooney, impudently.
"Clever fellows!" exclaimed Coleman, who
wondered how Mooney would dare speak so
disrespectful of his employers: "they are
excellent men, and you ought to be proud to
be with them."
"I am," said Mooney, puffiing out from
his mouth a fresh cloud of tobacco smoke.
"Well, Mooney," resumed Coleman, "1
wish you well, audi would rather have you
at our house than see you here———"
"I'll may be come to you shortly," inter
rupted Mconey, with a patronising air.
"But, no," continued Coleman, "while
you do well, stay here. Let me give you a
piece of advice, however: the Leland's are,
as 1 said'before, excellent, easy, good-nalur
i ed men ; but they do not like to be imposed
upon. If they see you here smoking cigars
and making free with guests, they will most
likly tell you to leave the house."
"Sir!"
"My advice is," continued Coleman, with
a parental look, "that you never show your
self here; stiok to your own apartments,
otherwise I could swear you'll be discharg
ed."
"Why, what the d—l do you take me for?"
cried Mooney, starting to bit feet, and dis
playing an elegant ruffled shirt bosom, and
a cable watoh chain. .
"Why, a waiter, of course 1"
"No sir," waa the reply, "I'm a boarder
here, and I'm a member of the Legislature."
Coleman left, altar having made a very
flowing apology. Hg acknowledged himself
done—completely. With such law makers
as Mooney, we ought to flourish, ought we
not l—Pkila. Sunday Mercury.
[Two Dollar's per Abmm
NUMBER 17.
RETUKJI OF MR. BUCHANAN.
In all probability, aays (lie Harrisburg Pa
triot of the 23d inat., Mr. Buebauan ia now
on the ocean on hi* return home, and wnen
he reaches onr shores, whioh we trnat will
be within the present week, he will be re
ceived by anoh a welcome as never greeted
any American Stateaman except, perhapl,
Mt. Caaa, when he returned from France.—
Ho will be greeted wherever he goes, not
only by his political friende, but by the mas
ses of tho people without distinction of par
ty, by sound national men wherever they are
found. And ha deserved this greeting. His
eminent and faithful service of the countty
for a period extendihg over thirty years, at
home and abroad, entitles him to the reßpect
and esteem ol the American people, and
they will show the estimation in which they
hold him by unmistakable demonstrations.
In New York, in Philadelphia, in Lancaster,
extensive preparations have been made by
the citizens and municipal authorities to give
hitn ■ warm and becoming welcome to hit
native land, and to assure him that his ser
vices in critical lime, as Miuixter to the Court
of St. James, are properly appreciated.
In this connection we cannot forbear ap
pending the highly honorable and compli
mentary notice of the great statesman from
the Philadelphia North American and United
Slates Oazetle , an opposition paper:
'•The retrospect of hia publio life, criticis
ed ia it may be—and vre have often bad oc
casion to dissent from his opinion—shows no
act, or word, or thought ol infidelity to the
Constitution or the Union, threatened at it
aometimea seems to- have been, in various
quarters, and throughout there baa been, the
performance of aotive duty as Representa
tive, as Senator, as Cabinet Minister, and in
private counsel. Mr. Buchanan has too, a
high national position in this, which practi
cally should not be disregarded, that absence
on public service, for the last three years,
while he has never disguised hia opinions,
has made him, in a great degree, exempt
from immediate excitements, snd has ena
bled him to regard, and perhaps control
litem, by placid and patriotic wisdom,
through the influence of tf.it very exemp
tion His diplomatic conduct, at a critical
juncture of international affairs, is highly
and justly esteemed. There has been a pre
valent sense of comfort and security every
moment that Mr. Buchanan represented.ua
abroad. We were sute of bis integrity, bis
discretion, his appreciation to an eminent de
gree of the risks and dangers which proud
yet peace-loving nationa run aa they drift
nearer and nearer to thei oHgo of that whirl
pool which often engulfs and always dam
ages ; and above all we were sure of bis
keen •'>•. of that sentiment of honor, deli
cate and acute, that throbs In 0..y p „i ga 0 j
the American heart, and whose very sensi
tiveness may be sometimes stimulated and
abused by designing or inconsiderate men.
Of all this we were sure—and now that the
trust is executed, and, so far as bis agency
can affect them, all our expectations realiz
ed, the nation thanks and welcomes him.
Pennsylvania too has great reason to be
proud of him, and to renew the kind greet
ing she has so often given him. It ie not ea.
sy to avoid, or to use without fear of mis
construction, phases which party baa stereo
typed, but in a broader and more generous
sense than it was ever used before, we can
with precision say, that Mr. Buchanan is
welcomed back as Pennsylvania's "favorite
son.'' Pennsylvania is proud of him, and
what Pennsylvania does not always do, he
means to say ao, and to say it with ah ao
claim louder and wider than he hat ever been
heard before, for *there is a local sentiment
operating in his belulf much stronger than
political organization ever aroused. It is d
sentiment, too, that we trust will not be tri
fled with. The oity of Philadelphia—if we
may venture so to describe ir,lheoncv Whig
oily of Philadelphia—cordially welcoraea-
Mr. Buchanan. Her men of business, ber
mercßsnts, manufacturers and arlizans, feel
that they can look with confidence and es
teem on a veteran statesman whose vety ex
perience makes him practically conservative
and .who, as Penr.sylvanian, feels with ua
and for us. Oue is surprised to find ic our
streets and in casual intercourse how strong
and prevalent this feeling is. It is manifest,
ed in the prompt action of out commercial
men. It was even more so in
meditated and informal meeting of Mr. Bu
chanan's friends, without tlinitiation of tech
nical parly, where were found our most dis
tinguished citizens, of all professions and
pursuits, who seemed to be brought together
only by a disinterested desire to offer a prop
er acknowledgment to a meritorious publio
servant. Philadelphia means to do honor
where honor has been so faithfully earned."
(7* THE CAMF.I.S intended for the Western
plains are on board the sloreship supply, at
Kingston, for lndianola, Texas. It is propos
ed to keep the animals at that plape several
months to recruit them. Some of the ani
mals were presented by the Viceroy of Egypt
to our Government, but most of theoa were
procured by Major Wayne and Captain Pot
ter, under the appropriation made for the
purpose at the last session of Congress.—-
Some Arabs accompany them to take oare of
them. There are 31 camels in the lot.
Arrangements are being made to erect ad
ditional buildings to Girard Collage to ad
mil one hundred more scholars. Whan this
is done about a thousand pupils will be un
der its charge.
lotteries.—A. P. Coburn, C. Selden, and C.
J. Parker, have been fined SSO esob for be
ing concerned in a gift lottery-in Boston.