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THE STAR OF THE NORTH.
a. IF. two t rofHelorO Truth hud IKb)—Oil and rar looutrj. Two IttlUrit per Annua.
YOLUM E 2.
THE STAR ' OF THE NORTH
Is pulMsed every Thursday Morning, by
R. W. WEAVER.
QFFtCK Up stairs in the New Brick building
ee the south si de of Main street, third
square below Market.
TERMS -.—Two Dollars per annum, if paid
■within s'x mouths from the time of subscri
• two dob'ars and fifty cents if not paid
within the year No subscription received
for a less period tl.ian six months: no discon
tinuance permitted until all arrearages are
paid, unless at the option of the editors.
ADVERTISEMENTS not exceeding one square,
will be inserted three times for one dollar, and
twenty-five cents for oach additional insortion
A liberal discount will be made to those who ad
vertise by the year.
A Wery Grave Hexortatlon.
I believe you isn't married, Ned?
You does'nt know the sweets
Yat \V aits upon that happy stale,
Ven man and voman meets,
1 he bu.sani'j varm emotions, Ned,
qChe di'ods"withiti the eyes ;
The nir ß vash'd things, the darn'd stocktns,
Xad a.'l tliem tender tiea
, "on don't km™ vat it is, Ned,
\ *ile lying in your bed,
} re on caret voman's torin,
To fta. break(ni f things is spread.
Vile t. 'on't vant tO <? el U P> Ned i
feels so n.'' e '
The kiver <. uke
And she says, -> o i|, er slico'
And this here.l
Vile the fire-is burning
And all upon the chat..' -
Your linen and your drawt. '
Is hanging up to air,
. I axes every heart, Ned,.
Vat isn't made of steel, *..'••
If they ken gaze upon that fire,
And not A varmtng feel ?
Oh ! wery few, indeed, Ned,.
Knows ven they're truly happy;
Ven the baby is fetch'd in, Ned,
"To kiss its lazy papy!
You little tency, petify thing—? 1
Its mammy—turn and eat her ;
You bessed babe—it was so thweet
It thouldn't be no thjveeter- _
You <fod, a blessed angel, you—
It pulls its pappy's hair!
Take fingers out of nappy's cup—
Don't cry then, Thweelest—there.
Oh, fi! to spill all pappy's tea?
You naughty, ducky, tlandy,
Owny, dony, voguey, pogney,
Thweet as eugar-candj." .
Oh, Ned! there are some moments ven
The sternest hearts will quiver;
Fust let that baby spill your tea,
Vile you're beneath the kiver,
Vun.little Sland.within your hair,
The .t'other in your cup; v
Don't vonder if we sometimes feel
As ye coukl "eat 'enf up."
From the Dublin University Magazine. !
LAY UP T Ut FAMINE.
THE IRISH HUSBAND TO IIIS WIFE.
Bright was your blue eye, Kathleen,
Smooth was your suuny brow, •
On that fair mom, my Kathleen,
When you breathed your briual vow.
Joy wove his choicest treasures round us;
Peace came with all hdr smiling train;
Mirth ih his magic circle bound us,
Whence fled the .phantoms, Grief and
Few years have passed, my Kathleen,
Since you breathed your bridal vow,
Hope standing o'er us,. Kathleen—
O God, to see you now !
To.see your blue eye waning, waning,
Tosee your brow seam'd with pain,
To see gaunt Hunger's red tooltj drawing,
The life blood from each throbbing vein!
Fair was our first born, Kathleen,
As it hung upon your breast
Oh ! weep not, weep not, Kathleen,
Why mourn its speedy rest ?
And tell me not its smiles would lighten
The pangs that revel through this heart
Say, how could smiles its youth cheek
While Famine struck with venom'd
Our last, our youngest, Kathleen,
Forgive this struggling tear—
Its sinking cries, my Kathleen,
Ring ever on my ear.
OGod, to hear its plaintive wailing,
To see your look of daric despair,
V hen the" mother's fountain failing.
Its lips convulsive drank-but air)
Rest on this bosom, Kathleen-
All, save your love, is fled !
Ha, what—my wife! my Kathleen!
Fiend, Pempter,.she's not dead !
Stare not with those eyes so blindly,
Fan me with thy gentle breath,
Speak ! even coldly or unkindly-
Kathleen, Kathleen, is ibis death ?
An Old Man's Advice.
Never attempt to strike the guilty, whore,
by a misdirected, or too hasty blow, the in
qoC?nt, tjjp gallant, and the good may suffer.
—Never*.'<? rr ut P t 10 a villain > if Y OUf
_ . „ -?e "likei." to injure those
. efforts in doing so u.™ ' ,
who have been the unsuspecl! n ß U
I j his artifice. Never wager a larger £Wm luff"
you carry in your pocket. Never shake
hands with a man if you are not really glad
| to see him. Never forget when you meet, to
I j recognise your frrends, and be even more
|J careful to offer yodrsalutatfou to those that
are poor. Never quarrel without a sufficient
t- cause, but if it be necessary to
keep up a qoarrel, theft see that quarrel
firmly put to #n end. Never betray .confi
dence ol*>fty kind, but rove particularly
that of a woman. .'*• ••
W A Gentleman in the vicinity 1 of Boa
ton, lately invested 839 in cigars, to be sent
to California; By the last steamer he re
ceived the following; "Youi cigars (throe
thousand) are sold, aud brought <450.
BLOOMSBURG, COLUMBIA COUNTY, PA., THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 7, 1850.
| How a Model Artist won an Heiress.
BY M. G. LEWIS.
"Desirable piles," such as suit "fast young
men," are hard to find, and when found QfV
ing to the great competition, a devilish sight
harder to win; to prove this we will relate
our own experience, for the benefit of all
"laying for piles."
Not being 'manor bom,' not heir to a mai
den aunt, gouty uncle or rich governor, and
feeling a predisposition to circulate the "filthy
lucre," instead of circulating ourselves for it,
we early began to look for specks, percenta
ges and safe operations. After weighing the
pros and cons, we concluded to take a hand
in the game of matter o' money (matrimony)
and play to win ; therefore considered an in
dividual about our size in one of the liyme
niai scales to be weighed drawn by an 'angel'
with a sufficient pilf,
Having "set our nags," we determined to
fly high, make or break, do or die, and 'stand '
up to the rack' in spite of landlords, flash
tailors, wash women, cruel fathers, fighting
brothers, or rich rivals, remembering that
Washington was one a boy. Anticipation's
better than participation, 'faint heart never
won fair lady,'and determining that if we
should fail twenty times, to 'never give it up
so,' but 'try, try again,' for always
"There's a good time coming boys,
Wait a little longer."
VVe stuck to the text for several years, ex
ercising talents enough to send a man to
Congress, make a respectable hero in an
over true tale, a s!ar lawyer, or keep a ras
cal out of the States Prison.
first turned Jew; was Jeicvd by a Jewess;
I secede J 10 Methodism aud shad-USlhcd
I coats; a l'.ake cut us out; was converted uj'
Catholicism,' found the'needful,' went to
(*re church; whirled into the Quaker ranks;
said .'liee and thou found the old one a
dead shave; landed a.mong the Dunkards;
wore a long board ; talked Dutch ; had too
sharp a nose and couldn't come in ; and last
ly pitched into the Mormons:, hnd a good ,
time generally, but found the 'root of all e
vil' scarce in that pious community.
We now gave up religion, as we found by
dear experience that it would not pay ; cour
- ted boarding school misses ; serenaded rich
'vidders ;' eulogized belles in poetical col
umns ; flirted at the springs, aiiu nattered,
admired, loved, and proposed to daughters
innumerable. We did not come off boot
less in tlie game, as we have had rings, af
foctiops. gifts. bouquets, billet douxes, val
entines, hearts transfixed by darts, keep
sakes, vows, protestations, sweet smiles,
! soft glances, stolen kisses, and moonlight
| meetings enough to satify all the lovers in a
! large country.
The 'consummation dovoutedly to be wish
ed' was always knocked into a 'cocked hat'
by a cross lather, kicking brother, fighting
rival, covenant visit to relations, or by our
crawfishing, whenever we found the pile
with too largo a divisor, dependant upon the
demise ot a hale, hearty o'.d one, doubtful
or non est', for we had no idea of trying a
doubtful experiment, objecting in toto to- de
voting the remainder of our span to the rais
ing of Berkshires, Doikings, Durhams and
Cherubs ; the latter, suckers, the raw materi
| al from which grow men with patched pants
At last the 'time and tide' cams along and
we jumped fnlo the flood ia. a manner never
dreamed of in our philosophy.
We met a quondam friend at the- races,
one Ben Kinyon, who had lately doubled
himself and estate by matrimony. Being up
for 'Cowes and market,' we accepted a seat
in his were soon posting along
after a spanking pair of bays, three minute
nags. Near sun-down we arrived at his 'box,'
where we found his bride and a visiter ab
Leaving Ben to superintend his bays, we
retired to our room, and finding it fitted up in
modern style, witk baths, &c., we were soon
luxuriating hydrophatically. While thus a
'Model Artist,' enjoying the balmy freshness
and coolness of the evening* we noticed a
cross the hall, the door of the library open,
and abstractly walked therein. Becoming
deeply engaged, we entirely forgot our Ad
| amized appearance, till we heard female voi
ces approaching in thd hall; there was no
chance for escape, no behind "tho dqor, cub
by holes or fig tress, whereby to hide. our
selves—what a fix for a modest man !
Standing on the shaded side of the room
were Plaster of Paris statues of Venus, Her
cules, Diana, Jove, &c., which Ben had late
ordered, and which had been unpacked, and
set up during (he ftbseqce of his lady.
As quick us thought WQ sided up to Jove t
drew back one of ourpedal extremities, ex
panded the chest, folded the arms acrcss it,
threw back the head with a stern expression
of tho phiz, rolled up the eyes and stood as
firm as the rock of ages. ..Tlie dim shadows
of 67e2' D S enveloped us with a ljazy .light,
that broke iiift distinction of .outline,iiitl the
soft tints of flesh 6.7<1 blood, antf so confoun
ded'the real with the ideal, that we flattered
ourselves that we should pasß - muster and
make a very respectable statue.
How short-sighted iftjnan ! :
In came Ben's lady with her companion to
view the statuary. t
"How beautiful in this soft, mellow light—
A they look Ukajtviiig figures!" exclaimed the
visiter.' ' ...
We involuntarily tolled an aye and thought
'how beautiful'of her..... •
' Yes;splendid speciiitecs of the antique,'
answered the other.
"Here is Jove, ready to hurl his thunder
bolts." > .
"And Juno—how queenly."
"This (tapping me with a fan) must be
Adonis—although the design looks new."
"What an expressive cast of the face."
"Symmetrical neck and superb bust."
We felt flattered.
"Lame! did you ever!"
"No, I never."
"How very unartislical."
"Yes, very. Who ever saw the arms of a
statue folded across the chest ?"
"It shan't stay a minute here. Ben bought
it IJ plague me."
"But is a fine specimen except that, what
muscular power, strength and action, and
littleness of form."
"But it shan't stay," interrupted Ben's
bride as she called a couple of black waiting
women, ordering them to set us carefully in
to the rubbish room, and then starting with
her companion, (who cast back many a lin
gering look,) to give Ben a Caudle Lecture.
"He'd be pert lookin' ef he' only colored,',
said one of the ebonys, examining us.
"Yah, yah—efhe's ali"e he'd be sum
punkius,' answered the other.
"Missus sez we must be werry keerful,
not to break none ov the pints off.'.'
They crossed hands, and lowering us be
tween them carried us gently along.
"He's verry warm."
"De rays ob de sun comcemtrate on his
"Wat's dat? I smells de stateary's
"It's a d d lie," we ejaculated uncon.
Ktr whop come we in contact with the hall
floor. Ker tumble heels over head, pitched
the yelling ebonys down stairs ! We gather
ed ourselves; gathered Hercules, and laid
fii.'O where we had been dropped, bolted in
to oui 1 roOm and habiliments, and in two
minutes and a i'alf was on the sofa, snor
No sooner done than thet whole household
came to the top of the stairs.
"Dare him lies, massa—him swore lilf.e eb
ryting," groaned the trembling, nose flatten
ed, and face battered ebony, shrinking back, j
"Hercules, you have got a bad name,"
chuckled Ben, walking up to the statue, a- j
mused; though he couldn't account for the
"Don't know what ye calls him, he's de
chap watdid it,' said the other curly head at
the top of the stairs.
"Some mistake," muttered the bride, ap
proaching, then looking into the library ; "I
can hardly believe my senses."
"I never heard the like," sighed the visi
or ; "Adonis is gone."
"Dis'ere is no more de chapwatwe drap
ped, den a niggeres a white man."
The party retired to tell witch stories, ghost
tales, and ponder over the mysteiy, except
Ben; who, after restoring Herculus to his for
mer position, came and commenced shaking
"Wake up ! Have you heard any noise?"
''No—sleep cannon proof—what's up ?'
rubbing our eyes.
"It took noise enough to wake, you, to
start a regiment of soldiers. Wife has the
head-ache. What do you say to a bacelor
set down, with a few bottles of champe to
assist digestion ?"
"Don't dodge the question."
Under the mellowing influence of the 'rosy
god,' Ben peached the mysteiious secret—
which we cleared up under the express con
sideration that it should be kept.
We were introduced to the ladies the next
morning, and saw by the twinkling of eyes
and rosy blushes that the secret had been
Sufficient is it to say that the young lady
who admired us as a statue, admired us
much more in propria persona ; that 4|w had
many charms, not the least of a
hundred thousand dollars; and that in fond
weeks we sent the printer a cake with a wed
Reader at the present time there's (talk f
of our tunning for Congress) a pearly arm on
our shoulders, a little alabaster hand playing
in our lock*, a roguish face with black eyes,
rosy cheeks, and ruby lips bending over us
(an explosion like unto a cork popping from
a beer bottle) "You are real naughty to tell a
bout it. — Albany Dutchman.
"If ever you marry," raid an uncle, ''let
it be a woman who has judgment enough to
superintend the work -
nough to dress herself; .pride enough to
wash herself before breakfast ; and sense e
nough to hold her tongue when she has noth
ing to Bay."
W Jenny Lind, before her departure from
Philadelphia, gave three thousand dollars to
the ftfnd for the alleviation of the sufferings
of those who were turned out of house and
home, or who lost protectors, by the late
great fire in that city. •
BT At a fancy ball, in Louisville, one of
the guests appeared in the rfliaracter - of a
census taker. He had hisshedule with him,'
and caused much amusement by his ques
tion as to the age, wealth, he., of all the
3" The children of fugitive slaves, bom in
free States cannot be made slaves by fixer I
owners of parents. The (tonstitution only de-1
rhands the restoration of such persons as
have neaped from slavery. • *
Judge Grier's View of the Fugitive Slave
The following is Judge Griet'tr letter in re
ply to Charles Gibbons, giving a sound and
sensible view of the much abused Fugitive
Slave law. It will be read with interest and
PHILADELPHIA, Oet. 25, 1850.
Dear Sir—My official engagements have
hindered me from giving that prompt atten
tion to the contents of your letter of the 22d
instant, whicti it would otherwise have re
Until informed by you I was unable to ap
prehend what possible cause could be as
signed for the unmgjsUjod denunciations
with which the act concerning fugitives
from labor, passed at the last session of
Congress, lias been received by so many
persons in the northern- portion of the Union.
Although it would be improper for jne to
volunteer extra judicial opinions upon dpubt
ful questions of construction of a public sta
tute, yet if any opinions expressed "by the
court on the late case of Henry Garnett, or
which, though not then expressed seem to
me incapable of dispute, can have any ten
dency to correct misapprehensions and ca!m
the public agitation on this subject, I am
perfectly willing to state them.
In the case of Garnett, the warrant issued
by the Court was fotrtided on the affidavit of
the alleged owner of the fugitive. But "on
the trial or hearing," before the Court, after
the arrest, this affidavit was not received in
evidence, nor did the counsql for the clai
mant insist that it should be received. The
claimant had wholly neglected to make the
proper proof, before.Hflipe-Court or Judge in
Maryland, to establish the fact, that he was
owner of a slave, or person held to labor,
and what was the name, age size, and other
marks, of such person ; and that the person
so described had escaped. Not having a
vailed himself of the privilege and facilities
given him by the act of Congress for this
purpose, we decided that he must be bound
by the common law rules of evidence, as in
other cases, where a title to property has to
be established before a Court. We refused
to receive the parties in interest as witnes
ses, and wi'Js, and other documents of title,
unless properly proved.
The act contemplates a trial and a decis
ion of the Court or Judge, Involving ques
tions both and fact, and unless the
rules of the common law"as td evidence be
followed, when not dhanged by statute, the
tribunal -would be without rate, gurrncU ( u[l-
ly by caprice, or undefined descietion, Which
would be the exercise of a tyranical, not a
judicial power. It is the duty of the Judge
who exercises it, to render equal justice both
to the claimant and the person claimed, if
evidence were heard on one side only, and
that too, without regard to any rule or prin
ciple known to the law, gross oppression
and wrong would flow from it. Free men
and citizens of Pennsylvania might be kid
napped into bondage, undor forms of law,
and by the action of a legal tribunal, sworn
to do justice to all men. This much ma
ligned law not only gives a "trial," before a
legal tribunal, before the claimant can be
authorized *.o carry the alleged fugitive out,
of tho Stale, but it takes away from the pris- j
oner no riuht .which he would have enjoyed
before this act of Congress was passed.
It; all cases of evidence estab
| fishing the offence, and the escape of the
person demanded, is usually made in the
country from which the person demanded
has escaped, and is necessarily ex-parte, and
the chief questiou to be described by the tri
bunal before whom he is brought, previous
ly to making an order for his extradition, is
only the question of identity. The party I
demanded has a right, of course to show
that he is not the person described. But if
-he be the person dfNcrjbed, Ire has no right
a joryjlrial, as to the question of
flßTcaifoin, the aountrv to which he has es
; napSHVIl* qtMHon rff identity, and whelh
j er claimed ift such a one as the
treaty between ths two dountr'es requires to
be delivered up, has always been tried sum
marily and withouiatho intervention of a ju
ry. No complaint hjuaver been made when
white men have beeu sent to Europe, on a
demand for their extradition, without giving
them a jury V greater privile
ges in this mattVrlqAld be granted to col
ored persons, is not easily perceived. The
Slate of Pennsylvania guarantees a jury tria
to her own citizens, or to persons who are
Charged with committing an oflence within
her borders, Fugitives from an other State
have on such rights. The government to
which the fugitive belongs, it is to be pre
sumed will do justice to its own subjectr or
citizens, and whether thtty do so, or.' not. ,1s
no concern of ours. However individuals
may fancy they/lave a mission to rectify all
vrrpngs on the face of the ea'rth, the State of
Pennsylvania does not feel herself bouftff to
'the Quixotic enterprise of avenging UIPJJp*
pressiftn of serfo in Russia or slaves in QftOf
gia. This act of Congress does not require
that a judge should, without trial, surrender
a citizen of Pennsylvania to a kidnapper.
The provision, "that in no trial on. heating,
under this act, shall theltestimony of such
fugitive be admitted iu evidence,'" is n6
more than the enactment of an establisLed
principle of the common law, than no man
shall be witoeaam fit* Own causjU If this
provision were not in the act,' I would no (
receive the (eetimony of the pfispner to
prove that he was not thft perstm described,
or that he was a free mail.. It would -be a
-temptation to petjury which no - tribunal
should permit to be presented to any man .
No lawyer would urge, before a Court, such
an absurd construction of the act of Con
gress, as, that it means that no evidence
should be heard on the part of the alleged
fugitive. If such were the intention of the
legislature, it was easy to express'it in une
quivocal terms. In truth there is nothing e
qutvocal in the language of the act; —it for
bids the judge to hear the testimy of the fu
gitive, but not the testimony of disinterested
witnesses. It almost seems, that nothing but
a desire to tender the law odious, for the
sake of political agitation could never have
led to so gross a misconstruction, and so
great a libel on national legislature.
It bos been objected also to this law, that
it suspends the habeas corpus —inasmuch as -it
enacts that the certificate of the Judge, or
Commissioner, "sha'l be conclusive of the
right of the persons in whose favor granted,
to remove such fugitive, and shall* prevent
all molestation of such person or persons, by
any prpcess issued. by any Court, Judge,
Magistrate, or other person whomsoever."
But this ia a mistake. The truth is, that this
provision of the lew, forbidding the testimo-
the fugitive to be received, and forbid
ding interference-by other process, after a
certificate, is but an enactment of an estab
lished principle of the common law, added
through extreme caution, but wholly unne
cessary. "The writ Of habeas corpus is un
doubtedly an immediate rerrledy for every il
legal imprisonment; but nd imprisonment is
illegal when the process is a justification ol
the officer ;• and process, whether by writ or
warrant, is legal, whenever it is not defec
tive in the-frame of it and has issued in the
ordinary course of justice, from a court or
magistrate having jurisdiction of the subjeot
matter."—(Commonwealth vs Lecky,-1
Watts; 67.> ,
A person held as a fugitive under the cer
tificate of a judge or magistrate, under this
act is legally imprisoned, under process
"from a court or magistrate having jurisdic
tion," and cahnot be released by any other
court or magistrate, on W writ of habeas cor
pus or homine replegiando. The act of 1798
lias no such provision as that which is the
subject of complaint in the present case;
yet in the c&se of "Wright vs. Deacon, (5
Sergt. and Rawle 62.) the Supreme Court of
Pennsylvania decided that a certificate under
that act was a legal warrant to remove the
fugitive to the State of Maryland, and r.o
writ of homine replegiando would lie from a
.StAte Court to try the question of freedom ;
and that a writ, issued under such circum
stances, was "in violation of the ConstritU
lion of the United States."
The chief difference between the fugitive
act of 1850 and that of 1798,, is, that the
former allows a warrant to be issued by a
Judge, aud the arrest to be made by a pub
lic officer, and imposes more stringent pen
alties on those who interfere, by, violence,
to prevent the execution of legal process
Those who believe that the constitution and
laws of their country should be regarded
and obeyed, have no ground of complaiht,
and those who do not, will continue to rail
at both, as usual.
I am happy to say that my brother Kane
fully concurs with me in the views I here
I am, very respectfully, yours, &c., &c.
R. C. GRIEH.
To CHARLES GIBBONS, Esquire.
AN INDIAN'S RECEIPT. —Joe Scoabasin, a
Penobscot Indian, not long since, was sued
for thu.sum of 85, by ji white man, before
Squire -Johnson. On the day of trial, Joe
made his appearance and rendered the re
quisite amount, for debt and costs, and de
manded a receipt in full. - -
"Why, Joe, it is not usual; it is unneces
sary," saii' the squire.
"Oh yes, me want 'urn receipt, sartain." '
"I tell you Joe, that a receipt will do you
"Sartin, Squire, I want 'cm."
do you wart it for, Joe!"
"Oli, s'pose me die and go to heaven
then they say, 'well Joe Scoabasih, you owe
"any man now ?' Then me.say not, 'Very
well, did you pay 'cm Ben Sanbers?' 'O
yes, me pay 'urn.' 'Well, then, show 'cm
receipt.' Then mc have to run all over h—l
to hunt up Squire Johnson."
MORE TRUTH THAN POETRY.— An old plft-.
, lure represents a king in state with a label,
'T rule for all " A bishop with the legend,
'T pray for all." A soldier with tfie motto,
'4 fight for all," and a foVnir drawing forth
Reluctantly a purse, with the inscription, "I
pay/or all." ' .• •
EF MORE NON-INTERCOURSE —The medi
cal students of Columbia, S. C., the number
j of fifteen, have resolved ' not to attend med.
- real lectures to any Northern institution."
| Jost as you please, sirs.
- n "
tST The ladies of Cincinnati have been
holding a temperance Convention, and a
mong other proceedings, tesolvpd to collec,
and publish the'names of womdn and chit
urea tpacfe destitute by drinking. Go ahead.
GT 91.123 votes more were polled at the
last Presidential election m Pennsylvania
than at the recent election.
IT The New Yortt bay Book Mtya that
Batonrn has Bennett, of the New York
Henl4,-%hbet . \
There is a name, which on my lips,
Though seldom breathed, forever dwells,
Like hidden music rocked to sleep
Within the ocean's painted shells.
There is a bright but pensive eye,
Which ever on my pathway sliinos
As dav and night and gentle stars
Look down and light the darkest mind.
A voice whose tender accents sound
As if it were the soul which spake:
And of that voice, the lightest tone
Doth in my heart wild echoes wake.
And this is love, the only one
Of Eden's torn and trampled flowers,
Which sheltered by some angel's wing,
Still lives to bless this earth of oursr
From the Pennsyluanian.
A Honey Moon Inchteut.
The interference of a police officer was
called for yesterday, at the rftsider.ee of Mr.
Felix M. Baker, in Pine street. The circum
stances are worth telling in methodical order.
Mr. Baker, a bald-heeded gentleman of five
and-forty, was married two weeks ago to
Miss Sarah-Garvin of thirty; "and upwards."
The young couple were very comfortably
situated; snug house—nice furniture—hand
some income. . (Mr. B. is a senior mercan
tile clerk, with a good salary.) Two weeks
of rapture passed—behold Mr. and Mrs. Ba
ker seated sido by side on a sofa, in the par
lor, arranging their plans for the future. The
expected responsibilities happened to be the
Mrs. I). ■ I hope the first may be ' a boy-
Dear little fellow ! I seem to .see him now,
tumbling about the carpet and kicking up
his Innocent heels like a blessed lambk-tn !
He sVall have your name, my dear; Felix !
it sounds eo beautiful and romantic.
Mr. B. Thank you, my love. 1 wished
to have him named Felix; very glad to hear
that we agree in everything. I'll teach him
sortie aanusing tricks—see if I dop'ti . I'll
make a man of him before ho's six
old. Won't I, my dear?
Mrs B. To-be-sure you will, darling.
He shall learn to read and write belore he
leaves off His petticoats. I know he'll be
Mr. B. That he will; and he shall learn
to smoke a segar as soon as he is weaned.
It looks so manly to'see a little toddling fel
low puffing away at a real Havanna- All
promising boys loam to smoke early. I
smoked in my second year.
Mr* B. yd rather he should not smoke,
my dear—it's a very nasty practice.
Mr. B. A nasty practice, my love ! How
can that be ? /smoke, you know.
Mrs. B. Yes, I know you do, Mr, Baker j
and it is the only imperfection ill your char-'
Mr. B. I consideflrone of my most grace
ful accomplishments, madam—and I've re
solved that every son of mine shall learn to
smoke, the very first thing,
Mrs. B. And I've resolved, sir, that no
son of mine shall learn to smoke at all.
Mr. B. [ With exciteihent ] - I'm very glad
that you mentioned it, then,-for it is right that
we should come to ait understanding on the
subjeot. I'll let you know that lam master
in my own house.
Mrs. B. I'll let ydu know that ydil are
not ; my master, you ugly old tyrant.
Mr. B. Say 6uch another word, yotl sau
cy jade; and I'll turn you out df doors!
Mrs. B. Touch me, if you dare, you 1
cowardly old villain. Help! murder I tilur
Mrs. B. (alls into "violent hysterics." Ser-1
vants rush in. House-maid, supposing that
Mrs. B. is assassinated by her husband, flies '
to the front door, ar.d repeats the cry of
"murder." Great crowd collected. Mr. B.
taken in charge by a deputy marshal of po
lice. Explanation at the Mayor's office. Mr.
B. is bound over to be of good behaviour
towards Mrs. B.—which will insure a quiet
house for the balance of the honey-moon.
And here was rather a bad matrimonial fra
cas, all about smoke. W.
Listen ! Ladies, to Peter Pipains.
I wish that I was married, I'm tired of
this life; I thmk that I will turn a page, and
try togql a wife ;. for 0 ! for all poor mor
tals renowned in song or ditty, the bachelor
who lives alone, most of your pity!
Some call their wives extinguishers,-'(would
not be po with me; for I am quite extin
guished now, .at least I'm out you'll see;
quite out of cash, and so of course 1 am
without a friend ; I'm out of credit and of
coats, and no one wants to lend. I'm friend
ly to the married state, although its full of
care, Its best to have a kind of helpmate
though joys mnst be but rare. If is not good
to live alono, with scarceji friend to greet,
I'm sftre the bliss of wedded life, must be
by far more 'sweet.! JPll marry! yes my
mind is fixed, Ladies! so here's a chart ce,
I'm rather young and .handsome too, can
sing-a song and dance; I'm worth whole
cart loads of "true love," and of dimes a
bout a score, all which I freely offer you
sorry I've roth ing more. Pray-do not keep
'nre wailing, for mine's a desperate case ; if
no success attends me here, I'll try-some
other place.—Come, and I'll take yon as
you are, with faults and foiblesin, if but one
item you will bring, that is—a little Tin.
'r* . * v. -. '' ' -
CT Thelre-are Conventions now in ses
sion in Vitginia and Indiana,. to form pew.
, Constitutions lor those Stamps. Ohio has a
| a Contention elected for the same purpose.
A LETTER TO COUNTRY GIRLS
BY MRS. SWISGHELM.
DEAR GIRLS:—It is a long tiino since I
have written to you, ami all this time you
have been making your dresses just as you
used to do, with a bug straight seam under
the arm. No; it is not straight, but in the
form of an inclined plain, or what carpenters
call a bevel, and presses your sides into tho
shape of a funnel. You have all heard a
bout the Greek Slave, and know it is a mar
ble statue, to show n most perfect and beau
tiful form, and I wish you qould all see it.
Hie outside of the sides are two hollow
curves, as graceful as the undulation between
two waves, or the bend in a willow wand.
Every one bos a shape more or less liko
this, accordingly as she is more or less beau
tiful, graceful and natural; and it is not-sin
gular-that afior the Creator hns given you a
form of beauty—of undulating outlines and
graceful, sweeping curves, you should sot
yourselves deliberately lo work to manufac
ture yourselves into sharp angles, and
straight, stifT outlines, with no more preten
sions to grace than the sides of a Dutch
churn ? J his you neaily alf do, and you do
. it by the shape of that seam under your arm.
You saw it in a regular slope from the arm.
| pit to the bottom of the waist, and that is as
long as it can possibly be made. This makes
the smallest part of your body Delow tho *
ribs—that is, you squeeze in the muscles
and flesh where there'are no bones lo resist
the force, and so crowd your liver until' it
cannot act; and you grow yellow, bilious,
nervous—ugly as sin, oven in your faces. It
is very strange, that you can be so foolish—
that any one can deliberately ruin her own
i health for the privilege of looking ugly. -It
L does make me uervous to 6ee a woman on
| the street, with this light place below her
j ribs, atid her way wagging, like the limb of
a supple Jack ! 1 have grown so desparate
ly disgusted with this way of making dress
es, by seeing great, ugly ignorant, vulgar
girls waddling among the pots and wash
tubs, with their apron strings drawn around
below the ribs, and tied until they looked
like a wool-bag tied with a cord in the cen
tre. It is very strange that any one haying
pretensions to gentility— to say nothing of
good sense—would be caught dressed in a
way that proclaims to every one her ignor
ance of the laws of physiology—of the fillets
of grace and symmetry, and of all taste for
the painting and statuary of . Greece mid
Home. I never see a woman dressed so,
but tho first thought is: "Wonder if that wo
man can read?" It is a sign of ignorance,
and nothing else can be plead in extenuation
of such folly 1
United States Senator.
The sterling Democratic editor of the Pitts
burg Post has the following sound views up
on the result of tiie late electiou :
'■There is another important matter settled
we contend, by the result of the late election;
and that is, that Pennsylvania shall have a
Radical Democrat in the United States Senate.
In every county in the State, so far as our
knowledge extends, this issue was fairly
made by the Democracy before and aftel the
meeting of the County Nominating Conven
tions. In most of those Conventions rcsolu
tions were adopted, instructing the candi
dates of the party to support the Caucus
Nominee'' for U. S. Senator. J>lany of the
Conventions passed Resolutions expri ssly
instructing the candidates not to vote fcr tfiat
Conservative Whig Hanker Simon Cameron,
under any circumstances, for U. S, Senator.
These expressions of tho Democracy we re
gard as binding and obligatory upon every
Representative elected by our Party in the
State. We cannot for a moment believe that
a single Representative; elected by the Dem
ocratic Pa-ty, will so far forget himself as to
betray and insult his constituents 'by voting
for such an uupiinciplcd politician as Camer
on. In the ranks of the Democrats, we
have plenty of men whose political princi
ples are above .'suspicion—mon of exalted
views and national feelings—men of high
intellectual capacities and unspotted Demo
cracy. Give us such a man for U. S. Senas
tor, and the influence of tho old Keystone
State will again be felt thrbughont the coun
TEJR.*. . '.. . ~-L
And again the editor says:
'•"If any professing Democrat in. the legis
lature should so far forget himself aslo vote
for Cameron, wo'would advise tiim at once
to hang a millstone around his neck and
jump into tho Susquehanna. J/ij political
grave is made.
DOWN EAST GIRLS.-— The Belfast Journal
In "cracking up" the down east girls, says:
"We can show you some specimens down
east, who have not been deformed by liver
squeezers nor tight -shoes, fattened after the
manner of Hotentots, or starved a la mode
In cities. They have grown up according to
organic'laws, dieted on beef stake and corn
bread, exercised as the Greeks used to; are
up and coming tike a flock of patridges with
a ppinter among 'em ; can wash the tea
things, go out and milk the cow, and jump
over a five rail fence wijh the pail full and '
never spill a drop. Needn't rap; we have
seen 'em do it<|' .
A pbetie youngman in writing of his la
dy love, says, t-her feoe is a tamp pf alabas
ter, lit up ..with pleasant thought*"
What an interesting light to write by, espe- T
cially if she would allow you to pnnctuete
with kisses. Take away the sugar, Jim.