The Columbia Democrat. (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, December 30, 1837, Image 1

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1 VI iH '
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, I have worn upon the Altar of God, cicrnnl hostility to ccry form of Tyranny over the Blind of Man." Thomas Jefferson-.
Volume Iv
Number 35.
nr jtiss obvLii.
Alone I walked tho ocran strand,
A pearly shell was in niy liaml ;
I stooped and wrotoupon the sand
TVty name, the year, the day.
As onward from the spot I passed,
One lingering look fcliind 1 cant''
A w'avncaniu rolling high and fast,
, , And washed my lines uwUy.'' .
And bo, mcthoiight, 'twill shortly bn
Willi every mark oi earth from nio I
A wave of dark ohlivinu's ca
Will sweep aer'ota the pla'ec
Where I havo trod the sandy (.hOro
Of time, and liecn to be no intre ;
.Of me, my name, the name I bore,' '
;To leave no track nor truce
And yet, with Him who count? the Band,
And holds thu walcnl in his hand,
I know a lusting record stands
Inscribed againsl My nani'c,
Of all this mortal part lias wrought.
Of all this thinking soul has thought,
And from these (lectins monnilts caught;
For glory, or for shame.
Prom the Knickerbocker Magazine.
being a few passages in the life of short-sighed man.
Or all the evils to which mankind are
subject, there is none more pitiable in its
victim than an ordinary limitation of vision.
alas ! am one of those unfortunate individ
uals, whose nose U doomed tU be 4 spectacle
bestrid during my mortal existence, and
Vvho can discrn no object, unless it lie thrust
into my very face. This, it may readily be
imagined, is at all times disagreeable, but
particularly so when the article in question
is obnoxious to the senses. O ye bipeds of
oculars unimpaired ! ye all-seeing gentry!
little do yc know the thousand evils that
daily accumulate upon our devoted heads,
and .sometimes shoulders I Little do yc
ken tho numerous faux pas that wo of the
limited vision are almost constantly pushed
into, to tho imminent jeopardy of "our moral
and physical sense, as men of feeling.
My misfortunes commenced from infancy
yea from my veriest infancy and have
continued up to this day. with a frequency
and regularity as astonishing as unfortunate
My mother has often tphl me, thrft 'when a
baby, I would make a dozen ineffectual at
tempts to gain her breast j and my first cs
says in the art of walking, have been mem
orialized, by a multiplicity of scars, occa
sioned by violent contact with chairs, tables
and other articles of domestic usefulness
As a boy, I was still more deserving of com
miseration. Iti fact, my misfortunes seem
cd to accumulate with' my crowth. The
delicacies of the dinner table were invaria'
bly appropriated by my brothers and sisters
before ! could bo made conscious of thei
presence ; and if I failed to examine closoly
every particle upon the prongs of tny fork
or in the concave of my spoon, I might in
advertently swallow a red pepper for a sau
sage!, or masticate a quantity of horsc-rad
isli for as much sugar pr Sago cheese. My
good old .aunt, pitying my situation, resolv
ed to bettor it, and for this purpose puroha
scd mo a pair of spectacles, the first I had
worn. For a time I prot on very well, in
tho way of eating comfortable dinners ; bu
this fortune was too good to last long. My
nfiji.ctionate brethren and sisters contrived
to abstract my glasses. In vain I replaced
ihem. They wcro continually stolen ; and
T was nverv dav compelled to partake of
- - - J J A
what they in tho fulness of their stomachs
thought proper to leave me.
In duo seab'pn, I was ushered into tho so
lar system of society; bull had notrevolv
ed a month upon my own axis, among the
planets snd sattelijcs of the beau ceil, boforo
they all complained that I passed them in
my dirunal transits without a smile or bow
of recognition, and unanimously concluded
to eject mo from their sphere, I deprecated
their displeasure, acknowledged tho imper
fection of my vision, and was again ad
mitted into their j;ircles. I now resolved
to speak to every one I passed ; ' and then'
thought I, in the fondness of imagination,
thero will bo no mistake 1' I put my reso
lution at once in practice, and for a while
things went swimingly on ; but at length
the "same result Was the consequence.
' "What havo I done, noiv?' asked t of a
friend : ' why am I ocwm thrust without
the palo of society I'
The reason is, simply,' said he, gazing
about to seo that no one observed him
peaking to so proscribed a being as I, 'that
people arc not willing to meet on terms of
sociability and equality a man who claims
the acquaintance of every loafer, male or fc-
ale, he may chance to meet. At Trinity
Church, last Sunday, you oflercd your arm
to a chambor-lnaid ; and you were yestcr-
lay observed by a party of ladies in the act
of making a profound bow to three of the
most notorious courtezans in town.'
1 Good God 1' exclaimed I, ' is it possi
These were not tho only bad effects of
my politeness. A great six-foot whisker
ando charged mo with the heinous crime of
nsulting his sister, by speaking to her
without tho previous formality of an intro
duction ; and it was with the greatest diffi
culty that I could persuado the fellow to re
frain from hbrse-whippincr nic a thine
which he had fully resolved upon, and
which nothing but my humblo apologies,
and labored explanations, joined to the en
treaties of one or two of my personal friends,
ddterrcd him from putting into practice.
' Happier,' thought I, far happier, had
I been born blind, for then I should at least
have avoided the tissue of blunders into
which I hourly stumbledi My life has been
one continued series of getting into scrapes
n the worst way, and getting out of them
the best way I could. Why am I coupled
with such a destiny ? I am one of the gen
tlest and most tnoilcnsivc of mankind, and
yet the sulkiest blackguard abont town en
counters not half the difficulties which fall
to my luU'
Such were my musings, as I passed down
Broadway such my rcllections when my
dug as I thought, but alas! it was another's
rushed bctwccli my legs, and nearly trip
ped me up. Although naturally, or rather
commonly, a good-natured man, I was not
at that precise moment, as the reader may
imagine, in my smoothest mood. The cur
rent of my mind had been agitated by more
than one circumstance that day, and the lit
tie dog rendered me absolutely angry.
With an exclamation of wrath, I-gavo this
member of the canine race a kick, which
sent him howling to the opposite side of the
Sarc,' said a lall, swatthy, Frenchified,
looking personage, bowing until his mus
taches brushed my nose, ' You av', by
1111 ! kick my dog ! What for you 'av'
done dis for, eh?'
My dear Sir,' exclaimed I, terribly dis
composed, 'I beg ten thousand pardons.
I really thought it was my own dog.'
h, you to'ought it was your dog, eh?'
No, sare, it is my little dog dat you
kick!' -
Sir, I am exceedingly sorry I mistook
him for my own dog. I assnro you, I
thought it was my own dog, at the time.'
IJy Gar, Sare, dey is not resemblance
dero ; dc one dog is of do white, and do
odoi dog is of the black color. Beside,
Sarc, dc one 'av' got do car vcr' wide, and
do oder ver' short; do one 'av' got de tail
vcr' much, and do oder'av' lose ho tail ver'
much !'
But, Sit, I am near-sighted J my eyes
aro impaired ; I could not distinguish be
tween the dogs.'
Tho foreigntir looked steadily in my face
for a moment ; but perceiving nothing thero
but truth, his countenance became calm,
and comparatively pleasant.
You av-'. den, Monsieur, de vision not
. i ...
very far, ell?'
I assented.
Ah ! den dat is all do apology which I
demand:' and, with a graceful adieu, he
passed on.
How fortunate for me,' soliliquizod I,
that ho was a Frenchman I Had ho been
nnn nf mv own countrymen, I should no
doubt have figured in the gutter.' Strange,
strange people, these Americans! They pun
ish an offence first, and inquire into its causes
and effects afterward; My apology would
havo been laughed at by a Yankee. They
havo generally so much in View themselves
that they cannot appreciate the difficulties
of ono whoso vision is riot as extensive as
their 'own. 'Alas 1' sighed I, pausing, and
wiping tho classes of my spectacles, who
ever pitied a near-sighted man 1'
It Was nearly sunset. The benches and
avenues of the Battery were thronged with
human beings. The rich, the poor, tho
yourigi the old, the gay, the dignified, the
ily and the beautiful the merchant,
the artizan, the statesman andTthc philoso
pher the near-sighted and the far-sighted
all recreated themselves here, promena
ding or sitting, thinking or talking, as their
several inclination prompted j for no matter
how different the tastes and pursuits of men
may be, they all coincide in tho admiration
of nature.
How glorious how magnificent 1' ejac
ulated a pale, middle-aged man, extending
his right hand toward tho Jersey shore.
Yon purple cloud, so chastely lipped with
glowing silver, sails slowly and gracefully
along ; and lo ! the topmost leaves of all
yonder forrcsl seem gilded and burnished
o'er a thousand times.'
That 'cro chap is cylhcr crazy, or he 's
pool,' said a loafer to a very disreputable
looking individual, who accompanied him.
'I guess he 's a poetj Sam,' said the oth
er, in reply: them 'ere fellers is always
The bay,' resumed the pale, middle-
aged man, 'looks like a purple mirror, and
yon fairy islands so many emerald spots' up
on its surface. The monuments of man's
industry, too, serve to glorify the scene
and Nature and Art stand hmd-in-hand,
smiling complacently upon their splendid
Interested by the poetry of this descrip1
lion I looked forth upon all this space of
beauty, but saw nothing, excepta dim con
glomeialion of hazy coloring. Never be
fore had I experienced so painful a sense of
my misfortune. I grew dizzy and sick at
heart, and wheeling about, sought my way
homeward, full of the bitterest reflections.
n omnibus was just on the eve of depar
ture '; and mistaking the inscription of 'Bow
cry and the Battery' for ' Broadway and
Blcecker Street,' I jumped in, and was
whirled some two miles and a half out of
my proper way, before I was made acquain
ted with my error.
I now resolved to ildopt a new course.
'Am I not,' asked I of myself, jtho author
of many of my own misfortunes ? Surely,
my errors are chiefly caused by my impa
tience and impetuosity. I am too hasty. I
will endeavor to be more moderate. I will
examine before I proceed, and remove the
difficulties lhat may occur in my way. In
a word, I will be Snore discreet in all things.'
On the following, dajI dined with a
friend at ono of tho most fashionable hotels
of the cjty, and was for a whilei as I thought,
extremely lucky, having as yet made but
ana faux pas, which was merely the drink
ing of a glass of brandy for as much wine
a mistake, by the way, which might havo
occurred to almost any ono. A tremendously-stout
gentleman from Mississippi was
seated on my left. This individual had
just cleared his plalo of a large quantity of
roast beef, andwas engaged in gazing omin
ously at a lobster, his shut right hand, in
the mean time resting upon tho table. Un
fortunately for myself, at this particular
juncture, I happened to stand in need of a
piece of bread, and raising my eyo in search
of the necessary article, I mistook his clen
ched fist for a loaf. Taking up iny fork
very deliberately, I hlched up tho sleeve of
my coat, and plunged the sharp steel in
strument into tho fleshy part of tho man's
hand. With a noise between a roar and
a growl, tho victim jumped upon his feet,
knocking down the gontleman who sat next
him, and up-setting a waiter who was hur
rying along with a largo supply of custards.
I, of course, jumped up too, freightened,
as may well bo supposed, almost to death,
and attempted to explain matters ; but
scarcely had I opened my mouth for the
purpose, when I was floored by a tremen
dous blow from the wounded limb, directly
in rriy face. .No sooner had the avenger
knocked me down, than ho unsheathed a
huge glittering Bowie knife, and advanced
to annihilate me altogether. Words cannot
portray the horror of my emotions. I had
seen the fellow carve a pig a few moments
before, and had myself admired his dexter
ity m the proceeding.
The company, however, intoifercd be
tween the Mississipian and my destruction.
My friends made known the imperfection
of my vision, and the man of the far west
became satisfied. I was bourn to bed, near
ly senseless, and have not yet recovered
from the effects of that adventure, although
my physician is one of the most learned
and efficient in the city. He is an English'
man ; and when I related to him the occur
rencc; he "shook his head, saying ':
Terrible chaps, these fellows from Mis
sissippi ; 'orrible beings ! Wonder he did'nt
cut ydur 'cd off, haltogethcr 1' B
The following elegant article is from the
chaste and glowing imagination of Doct
T. N. Caulkiris, editor of the Coldwater
What will this Union be fifty years fiom
this day? The cloud by day, the pillar of
fire by night, for the world to follow in
their march of civilization and refinement!
Tho dawn of 1887 will dawn upon this na
tion doubled in extent, with Michigan and
towa as the centre of civilization, and the
unbegotten States of Oregon. Macedon
Columbia,and Pacificus, stretchingaong the
ocean, called tho Pacific states, with anoth
cr tier of the sisterhood lying along th
Rocky Mountains, known by tho name of
the middle or mountain States, What
now are known as tho western, will then
receive the appellation of the eastern Stales
while the western will be those bordering
on tho Pacific ocean. Fiftv millions of
freemen will look' upori the light of that
morn, anil glory in tlie name, yielded by
France, of the " Great Nation" Splen
id cities will then exist where now the
Indian, tho lord of the dark forest around
him lies down upon his copper face, drea
ming of the happy hunting grounds of his
fathers, with whom must soon dwell the
whole human race. On that day a mere
handful will be found lingering on the bof
ders of the great deep that must at length
engulph them.' Where will then be the
capitol of Michigan? In some inland city,
near her centre, will its columns rise in
magnificence and splendor. Branches of
the University of Michigan will then be
flourishing and imparting their cheering in
fluence in every county throughout the
State. Each county will havo its temple
of liberty, whoso altar is the printing press,
and each lown lis temple of worship and
its numerous schools, tho nurseries of free
dom, instructed by well taught teachers, at
fifty dollars a month. Then perhaps tho
schoolmaslcr will be esteemed equal to the
cook on board a sleamboat a happy epoch
in tho march of human improvement.
Where then will be the capital of this U
nion? Possibly in the Valley ot tho Missis
sippi St. Louis may be the favored spot,
or even tho unbroken wilderness still far
ther west. And where, alas, will then be
tho present citizens of our great Itopublic?
Then will
"Each in his narrow cell forever Hid,
Therudo forefathers of the hamlet sleep."
Tho present dwelcrs of tho earth will
then have ceased their bustle btlt little
space will bo held by them, and anew
race of men 6ur children and oiir chil
dren's children will then manage the ma
chinery of tho world.
The above is the language of prophecy,
but that of rational deduction from aknowl
edgo of tho past and present. Even tho
boldest flights of the imagination, fifty
years ago, could scarcely have been equal
to tho reality at' tho present hour. And
may Heaven permit us to coutinue our glo
rious career till all tho nations of the cailh
become even as we are.
The Hon. Judge L'ongs'treet says-i
'small is tho sura required to patronize a
newspaper, and amply is the patron remu
nerated. I care not how humblo and un
pretending is the Gazette he takes. It is
next to impossible to fill a sheet fifty two
times a year without having something that
is worth the subscription price.
Every parent whose son is offfrom him
at school, should be supplied with a news
paper. I well remember what a marked
difference there was between those of my
s.-.hoolmatcs who had, and those who had
not access to newspapers. Olh'cr things
equal, the first was always decidedly su
perior to the last, in debate and composition
at least. The reason is plain; they had
command of more fact3. A newspaper is
a history of current events as well as copi
ous and mtercstmcr miscellany, which
youth will pcrsuo with delight when they
will read nothing else."
"A father of an interesting family, near
Detroit, not long Bince, stopped the only"
newspaper which ho had ever allowed him
self or family, and solely on "the ground
that ho could not afford tho expense. This
man chews up fourteen dollars and sixty
cents worth of tobacce every year. Corn.
Everett's Address,
-Old Letters. What a world of thoughts
and feelings arise in pursuing old letters!
What lessons do we read in the silliest of
them, and in others what beauty, whal
charms, what magical illusion wraps the
J senses in brief enchantment ! But it is
brief indeed. Absence, estrangement
death, tho three great enemies, of moral
tics, start up to break tho spell. The let
ters of those who arc dead, how wonder
ful. We seem to live and breathe in their
society. The wiiters once, perhaps, li
ved with us iti the communion of friend
ship, in the flames of passion, in the whirld
of pleasure; in tho same career, in short, of
earthly joys, earthly follies; aiid earthly
infirmities. We seem again to retrace
those paths together but are suddenly ar
rested by the knowledge that there lies a
vast gulf between us and them. The hands"
which traced those characters aro moulded
ing in the tombs, eaten by worms, or alrea
dy turned to dust.
Loiters from those we dnco Ibved, wha
perhaps are still living, but rio longer living
for us; it may bo we grew tired of them;
or tho separation may havo arisen from
mutual imperfections in character. Still
the letters recall times and seasons when
it was otherwise, and wo look upon onr
selves out of- ourselvesi as it were, with
much melancholy interest. That identity
of tho person, and that estrangement of tho
spirit, who can painl it?
There is still a third class" of old idlers'
on which tho heart delights to expatiate
those Of the still living, but the absent
Oh! what do they now afford of delight?
They havo the whole witchery of beauty,
lovo, and truth in them, without one speck'
or flaw lo lower the tone of that enchantment
they contain.
An Insolvent. A Peruvian, who was
deeply involved in debt, was walking the
streets with a very melancholy air; one of
his acquaintance asked him why he was d
sorrowful ? Alas ! said he, I am in a state
of insolvency 1 Well, said his friend, if1
that is tho case, it is not you, but your creoV
itors, who ought to wear a wofut cduittf
An Irishman who recently wddtxmt rtb
bit shooting, observing a jackaea jwepin
over a hedge immediately Tereled his ptcac.
exclaiming, OclvbytliepowisrsV that msm
bit tho father of all rabbit