1 ifflMu
HARVEY SICKLER, Publisher.
\ r OL. VIII.
ppming Senwrrat.
A Democratic weekly
t)iler devoted t<> ■ oil L
lioScWf, the Arts fj' '' ** \.\p
aril science* Ac. I'us- -J fl ' J
iay, at Tunkhannock
BY HARVEY SICKLER
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don WORK
fall kin Is neatly executed and at prices to suit
the times.
All TRANSIENT ADVERTISEMENTS and JOB
WORK must be paid for, when ordered
Business Notices.
I ITTUS A BITNEB ATTORNEYS. Udiee
XJ on Warren Street Tunkhannock P a -
W. K. LITTLE. J - J,ITTSEE "
I r S. COOPER, RHTSICIAR A SBMIOI
t1 . Newton Centre. Luzerne County Pa.
01., I'AKBISsII. ATTORNEY AT LAW.
• Offi-e at the Court House, in Tutikkanock
Wyoming Co. Pa
r>V. M. PIATT, ATTORNEY AT LAW of
fice in Stark's Brick Block Tioga St., Tunk
nannock, Pa
cjr j CHASE, ATTORNEY AND COUNSEL"
1 x LOU AT LAW, Nicholson, Wyoming Co", Pa
Especial attention given to settlement of dece
dent's estates
Jbchalm, Pa., Dec. 5,
Mj, wll >o x . ATTORNEY AT LAW Coi
• lecting and Real Estate Agent. lowa Lands
for sale. Scranton, Pa. _ U "
/ VSTERHOUT A DEWIXT, Attorneys' at Law—
V.X Office, opposite the Bank, Tunkhannock, la.
P M. OsTERHOUT. O. B. DEW I rr
T w, RHOAD*,PHYBICIAN k SURGEON,
J . will attend promptly to all calls in his pro
fession. May be found at his at the Drug
Store, or lit his residence on Putman Sreet, formerly
occupied A - Peekhatn Esq.
OR. E. F. AVERY'SESp;
DENTAL OFFICE. r
Over Burn s Bros., Jewelry Store. Tunkhannock, Pa.
All tho various styles of Dental work scientifically
.lone and warranted. Particular attention given to
straightening irregular or deficient teeth.
Kvimlnatfonp made, and advice given without
charge. Ethereal Spray administered when desired.
< liloroform administered under direction ola Physi
cian. The advantages of employing a local and re
sponsible dentist are apparent to all. vsni.it.
Prof. J. Berlinghof.
iasijionublc Barber & i)air-Cuttrr,
AT TUNKHANNOCK, PA.
HAIR Woven, and Braided, for Switches, or Curled,
an 1 Waterfalls of every size and style, manufactur
ed to order. ,
The highest market prices paid for Ladies Hair.
All tiie approved kinds of Hair Resmrers and
DrisHng constantly kept on hand and sold at Man
u i. Mirer.- retail prices.
Hair and Whisker, colored to every natural
JACOB BEKMNGHOF.
Tank., l'a. Jan. 5, *69—v3n22-tf,
PACIFIC HOTEL,
170, 172, 174 A 176 Greenwich Street.
("SK DOOBABOVB COBTLAXDT STREET, NEW YORK.)
TL • unpersigned takes pleasure in announcing to
lis numerous friends and patrons that from this
date, the charge of the Pacific will tie
$2.50 FEB DAY.
Being de Proprietor of this house, and therefore
free from tho too common exaction of an Inordinate
n at. he is iully able to meet the downward tenden
cy ••! price without any tailing ofl of service.
Ii will now, as here tof Die, be his aim to maintain
undimished the favorable reputation of the Pacifie,
whi ii it has enjoyed lor many years, as one of the
best of travelers' hotels. .. ,
THE I'ABLE will be bountifully supplied with
tvi rv delicacy of the season. "
THE ATTENDANCE will be found efficient and
an t odliging. . . ,
THE LOCATION will be found convenient for
ti.nse whose business calls them in tho lower part of
tee citv, and of ready access to all Kail Koad and
Steamboat Lines. * •
JOHN PATTEN.
Oct 10th 18GS. nlB-6m.
ILUFFORD HOUSE.
TUNKHANNOCK. WYOMING CO., FA
THUS ESTABLISHMENT HAS RECENTLY
1 been refitted and iurnished in the latest style.
ioery attention will he given to the comfort nnd
ronvenitni'e of those who patronize the House.
11, HUFFORD. Proprietor.
Tunkhannock, Pa., June 17, 1868.—7n44.
BOLTON HOUSE.
UAUKISHUftQe PKNN'A.
The undersigned having lately purchaeed the !
' Ist EfILER HOUSE " property, has already com- j
ai'mced such alterations and improvements as will
rtnler this old and popular House equal, if not gupe- ;
ti'ir, to any Hotel in the City of Uarrisburg.
A continuance of the public patronage is refpect
faily solicited.
GEO. J. BOLTON
WALL'S HOTEL,
LATE AMERICAN HOUSE/
r bN KHAN NOCK, WYOMING CO., PA.
I'HI- e' ibiishment has recently been refitted an
1 tarnished in ibe latest style. Every attention
' ♦* :ven to th aorafort an'! convenience ot those
* * 4 > p i'roniie !hr Houe.
T. 15. WALL, Ownej moJ Proprietor . ,
U:j khannock, September 11, 1861
TUNKHANNOCK WYOMING CO., PA. -WEDNESDAY, MARCH. 10,1869.
The new Broom still
new!
AND WITH THE NEW YEAR,
Will be used with inoro sweeping effect than hereto
fore,by large additions from time to time, of Choice
ann desirable GOODS, at the
New Store
OF
C DETRICK,
in S. Stark's Bri;k Block
AT TUNKHANNOCK, PANN'A.
Where can be 'ound, at all times, one ol the Largest
and Richest assortments cvr offered in this vicinity,
„ Consisting of
BLACK AND FANCY COL'RD DRESS
.SILKS,
FRENCH, ENGLISH and AMERICAN MERINOS,
EMPRESS AND PRINCESS CLOTHS,
POPLINS, SERGES, and PAREMETTOS,
BLACK LI'SHE AND COLORED
ALPACCAS WOOL. ARMURE, PEKfN
AND MOUSELIEU DELAINS, INPORTED i
AND DOMESTIC GINGHAMS, PRINTS
of Best Manufactures,
Ladies Cloths and Saequeings,
FURS, SIIAWLS, FANCY WOOLEN
GOODS, A;C., LADIES RETICULES,
SHOPPING BAGS and BASKETS.
TRUNKS, VALISES, and TRAVELING
BAGS,
Hosiery and Gloves, Ladies' Vests, White
Goods, and Yamkee notions
iu endless va
riety.
UOOPSKIRTS & CVRSETTS,
direct frorti the manufacturers, at greatly
reduced prices.
FLANNELS all Colors and Qualities
KNIT GOODS,
Cloths,
Cassimercs,
Vestings,
Cottouades,
Sheetings,
Shirtings,
Drills.
Denims,
Ticks, Stripes, &c.
Every Description of <
BOOTS & SHOES, i
IIATS & CAPS.
I
Paper Hangings, Window Shades, Cur- -
tains, Curtain Fixtures, Carpets, Oil- 1
Cloths, Crockery, Glass and Stoneware.
Tinware,
Made expressly for this trade, and war- f
laided to give Satisfaction, at 20 per cent.- 1
cheaper than the usual rates in this section. 1
HARDWARE & CUTLERY, of all ,
kinds,
t
SILVER PLATED WARE, 1
• t
Paints, Oils, and Painters Materials, }
Putty, Window Glass, Ac.
J' y
I
KEROSENE 'OIL, '
Chandeliers, j
Lamps,
i
Lanterns, (
Lantern Glares, '
c
Lamp Chimneys, (
Shades and
1
Curuers. (
COAL,
ASHTON, 4- DHL SALT
FLOUR,
FEED, ]
MEAL, . .
BUTTER, 1
CHEESE, j
LARD, *
• PORK.
HAMS,
and FISH. ,
SUGAR,
TEA, 1
COFFEE
SPICES,
SYRUP, A
MOLASSES, ,
WOOD & WILLOW WARE,
ROPES, CORDAGE,
PATENT MEDICINES, DRUGS, and DYES,
FLAVORING EXTRACTS, Ac., Ac,
These goods have been selected
with great care to suit the wants of
this community, and will be sold as
heretofore, at the lowest living rates
for cash or exchanged for country
produce at market prices. Thankful
for the past liberal patronage, I shall
i endeavor by strict attention to my
business, to merit a continuance ot
the same, and will try to make the
future still more attractive and ben
eficial to customers.
C. DETRICK.
I ' jgtfrg-
HOME.
. j BY MRS. SIOOIRNKY.
8 i !
"Better is the life of a poor man, in i
j mean cottage, than delicate fare in anothej
; man's house."—Eccs.
I saw them by their wintry urc,
The children gathering round their sire;
j The cheerful blaze, with flickering light,
Rov'd dancing o'er their features bright,
And nought like care for pomp or show
Commingled with that ruddy glow;
Their simple fare was what the land
1 Yields to the farmer's toiling hand;
While health and sweet contentment's grace
Ilea mod forth from every form and face.
But some they are, unwisely led
By sloth, to eat another's bread,
Inured to bear, like flaming chart,
Dependence, written on their heart.
To envious eyes, perchance, they scein
In luxury and pride to dream ; *
Yet meet they still, with lot unblest,
The welcome cold of burdening guest,
I And view the humble home with scorn
Which industry and love adorn.
FIVE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING.
TJIE ABSURDITY OJT LIFE.
It is all very well for tho poets to tell,
Byway of their songs cdorning.
Of milkmaids, who rouse to manipulato cows,
At five o'clock in tho morning;
And of moony young mow'rs who bundle out ofdoors
Tho charms of their straw beds scorning,
Before break of day, to make love and hay,
At five o'clock in the morning!
But, between me and you, it is all untrue,
Believe not a word they utter;
To no milkmaid alive does tho figure ol Five
Bring beaux—or even bring butter.
The poor cows, if told to arouse,
Would do so, perhaps, in the homing:
But the country girls, would they show their curls,
At five o'clock in the morning?
It may not be wrong for the man in the song— .
Or the moon—if anxious to settle,
To kneel In wet grass, and pop, but, alas !
B'Acf If he popped down on a nettle !
For how could he sec what was under his knee,
If, in spite of my friendly warning,
lie went out of bed, ami his house, and his head,
At five o'olock in the morning ?
It is all very well such stories to tell,
But if I were a maid ail forlorn-ing,
And a lever should drop In the clover to pop,
At five o'clock in the morning;
If I liked him, you see, I'd say; 'Please call at three:'
If not, I'd turn him out with a scorning ;
Don't come here you flat with conundrums like that
At five o'olock in the morning!'
JAMES BOWIE AND HENBV CRAY.—Revor
(lv Johnson used to tell a story of Henry
Clay, apropos of himself. 1 think in some
previous letter I have told you that Rov
erdy married Mary Bowie, a cousin of
James or "Jeemes" Bowie, the inventor of
the Bowie knife.
One day Henry Clay, who had arrived in
Frederick, Maryland, by stage-coaeli from
Wheeling, met Reverdy Johnson in the
street. "Reverdy," he said, "I have just
had an extraordinary acquaintance hack
here at Cumberland. A man got half my
seat in the stage-coach—a little snotty,
freckled, cheek-honed fellow—and on the
next seat were a man and his wife ; on the
third seat a couple of big men.
We had no sooner started and got clear
of Cumberland than one of the big men on
the forward seat lit a cigar. He puffed and
puffed and puffed, till in a little while the
coach was full of strong fumes, and the
woman grew very sick. She asked her hus
band to raise tho window, and, still unable
to bear the smoke, told him she must lean
upon his lap.
"My wife is sick. Please do not smoke
inside."
"The big man smoked like a blast chim
ney, paying no heed whatever. Tho woman
grew fainter and coughed. My blood was
boiling, but I knew the big man. could
double me up and throw me out of the win
dow.
"Suddenly the little being at my side
leaned ftfcvard and pulled a bovic knife out
of his coat collar, and said to the smoking
giant:
"You damned sonofapusscycatonthf fe
male side ! lam Jeemes Bowie. Throw
away that cigar, or I'll split you into half
apples!"
"The man," concluded Mr. Clay "drop
ped tho cigar like an automaton, and we
had not a word si>oken for thirty miles."—
Lor. of St. Louis Democrat.
A FACT FELL OP MEANING. —Here is the
finest hit we have seen at the present popu
lar distinction between religion and mor
als :
In a religious excitement in Boston, a
person met a Christian neighbor who took
him by the hand, and said—
"l have become a christian.""
"You are a christian, then, all at once, "
said the other ; "you profess to act strictly
on christian principles. lam glad of it.—
I congratulate yon. Suppose we now have
a settlement of our little accounts between
us. Pay me what thou owest."
"No," said the new-born child, turning
on his heel, "religion is religion, and busi
ness is business."
So the paper tells ns. And what is there
so wonderful about it? Is not the world
full of such Christianity ?
jBXaT' A St. Louis newspaper heads an ed
' itoriul about the Indians—"The Gentle
-1 men Without Hats."
" To Speak his Thoughts is Every Freeman's Right. "
ALCOHOL IS HING.—CAN HE BE
OVERTHROWN ?
The Ministerial Association ofWyaluslnDistrict
met at Montrose, Fetmary. 16tli, ami unanimously
requested that the following article on Temper
ance, read before the Association, hy Rev. S. F.
Ilrown, ot Tunkhannock. be furnished to thedounty
papers ot Bradford, Susquehanna, and Wyoming for
publication.
Alcohol is King by the consent of the
people, and by the laws of the land. He
sits a King of mighty power and influence.
He has in this fair hind, probably, more
than five millions of willing and obedient
subjects, and his annual expenses are four
teen hundred millions of dollars.
We claim that this is a free and indepen-
dent government, that these States are gov
erned by the will of a free people. And
yet here is a despotism prevailing all parts
of this great Republic—every city, town,
and hamlet—The sea coast, and the plains ;
the mountains, and the valleys; the sunny
South, and the vigorous North; the thriving
Fast, and tho glowing West; the forest, and
the prtiirie; the hind of gold, and the laud of
herds and docks ; in the mines, dark and
deep ; and 011 the bosom of the beautiful
lakes and rivers; in the houses of the rich,
and the hovels of the poor ; iu the political
caucus, in the conventions of the people,
in the Legislatures, in Congress, in the
Cabinet, in the Presidential mansion, ev
erywhere, the subjects and votaries of this
regal despot, are found to uphold and de
fend his authority. And worst of all, the
constitutional authority of this great na
tion, has been thoroughly baffled and set
at naught by the minions of his satanic ma
jesty, King Alcohol. For long centuries
he has ruled in the world, not only with a
rod of iron, but with a rod of fire and
death, a fire consuming soul and body,
death present and eternal, "for no drunk
ard .shall inherit the Kingdom of God."
He is a tyrant that levies a tux upon his
subjects, that would furnish bread for the
multiplied millions of these United States,
and yet, he gives in return, nothing but
poison for the body and inind, nothing but
discord and sorrow ; nothing but poverty
and crime; broken hearts, and hopes, and
promises; ruined health and homes ; dwarf
ed, starved, and impoverished children ;
broken hearted mothers, and wives bound
to the bloated and corrupted living carcass
es of drunken husbands. He stirs up
strife, incites to blasphemy and Sabbath
breaking, to lying and theft, to robbery
and murder, to prostitution and adultry.
Soils the ermine of the bench, and dese-
crates the sanctity of the pulpit. No air too
pure to be contaminated by bis breath ;
no place too sacred to be polluted by his
staggering tread ; no society so exclusive,
that it may not be blasted by his curse ; no
tie so holy, that it may not be severed by
his touch ; Ills presence is degradation ; his
breath is death ; and his feet take hold on
tell. His priests in their unholy ministra
ions, stand behind polished and gilded al
ars, and are greater in number and inliu
nce, than the ministers of our holy reii-
gion. They ministe* not to weekly, but to
daily worshipers, that in their regularity,
devotion and liberal support, shame the
most liberal, devoted, and punctual, of the
professed followers of the Cross of Christ.
But God, the living God has pronounced
a curse against his priest-hood. "Cursed
is he that putteth the bottle to his neigh
bors, ami maketh him drunken," and the
hard bony, and relentless hand of this
curse, clutches not only the guilty ruinscl
ler, but the more guilty that
sanctions by law, the unholy traffic, and
the little less guilty Judge, that grants the
license, and the thrice guilty petitioners,
that ask its continuance ; and with a long
arm, and with discriminating justice, fas
tens upon every one, in every station in
life, that by word or act or silence, upholds
the accursed tiling, for the whole responsi
bility rests with the jteopie, "for the voice
of the people is tire voice of God" (in this
matter) to tho Legislator and the Judge,
and when the people say, in private and in
public, through tho press, aud the ballot
box, that, not only ninety-nine persons out
of every hundred t'aall not sell alcoholic
poison, but that the hundredtli shall not
either, and if is right, (as we all believe it
is,) to prevent by legislation the ninety
niue persons selling it, it is equally right to
prevent the hundredth. But, says all Hon
orable Senator, you may as well legislate
against eating cod-fish, as against drinking
mm Well let us see. I have used cod
fish, and potatoes, and bread, myself, and
in my family, for many years, and none of
them ever threw us or any of us into the
gutter, or made us make worm fence in the
streets, or tangled our legs, or muddled our
brains, or unfitted us for business, or ruined
our finances, or blasted our character, ordo
| stroyed our health, or injured our morals,
nor gave us the delirium tremens, and we
are not aware that they ever did any of
these things to our neighbors, or their chil
dren, and no curse is pronounced against
them or the use of them or the sale or gift
of them. And wu ask in the name of
peace, and order, and the good of human
society, and the good of all the people, and
all the land ; what laws are for, ii not to
protect society from evil, aud wrong, and
discord, and immorality ; and to defend
the* weak and helpless, against all that
might injure or harm them. Have tho in
nocent children, naked and starved by a
ilruuken father, or the complaining and
broken-hearted wife of the inebriate, or the
I the aged parents, whose son, the stay of
i their old age, is lured into the dens of this
I demon, whoso willing, so cursed and nefa
rious, is made honorable (God save the
murk) by the countanence of statutes, and
'! license, and public assent. Have these no
right to be protected by law, are they to lie
left to the tender mercies of this demon,
and his minions with their traps, and
snares; their gilded palaces, and alluring
resorts ? Some say this is a matter in
which we should confine ourselves to mor
al suasion. Why not confine ourselves to
moral suasion in the matter of theft or for
gery or extortion, for God puts drunken
ness in the same category, for he says,
"Nor thieves, or drunkards, or revilers, or
extortioners shall inherit the Kingdom of
God.' Suppose a man steals your horse, you
have a law that "if he is caught," will give
him ten years confinement, at hard labor ;
lit re is another man, that, .step by ste]), by
means of this infernal traffic, loads your
son, your joy and pride and hope, into the
path of ruin, both of body and soul, for
time and eternity, your son whose happi
ness and hopes and. prosperity, is of more
value to you than a thousand horses. The
one you punish with ten years of hard and
dreary confinement; the other, the greater
criminal, in Us much as the man with all
his hopes ami possibilities, is infinitely
greater than any mere property ; you let
go free, because, forsooth it is wrong to
make luAvs to restrain him. Shame on
your logic, on your wisdom, on your jus
tice! In the name of humanity, in the
name of justice, give the man that sells or
gives this thing to any human being as n
beverage, ten years in the penitentiary, and
the tiling is done. If men can't sell it,
men won't buy it. You need not think to
stop it by attempting to stop the manufac
ture. it will lie smuggled in a thousand
ways, as long us nun can buy and sell it.
But stop the sale and the whole thing is
dead. And now to the main question.
Can this monster, this despot Alcohol be de
throned ? We answer, yes, assuredly yes,
as surs as the Lord God Omnipotent reign
eth, yes, as soon as the people through the
ballot-box my it, his Kingdom is at an end,
as soon as they say we will vote for no leg
islator, that will not help to make laws
against the miserable traffic, that they will
vote for no officer that will not execute the
laws, for no judge that will not condemn
the criminal, and the diadem of crime and
tears and death, falls from his doomed
brow. Ilis grave is dug, his winding sheet
is made, and he will soon be buried beyond
the fear of a resurrection. But can the
people be induced to do this ? By the
grace of 6W they cau. We must agitate,
and talk, and teach, and preach, and write,
and organize, and make sacrifice of time,
and money, and interest, and the object is
worth a thousand times what it will cost.
We must battle nobly and manfully and
persistently. For, it is to be the greatest
moral and political contest, the country
has ever seen, and, we are already entering
upon it; let us gird up our loins, and
ourselves like men. Success is sure, for
God is on our side, and we cannot fail if
we pray and fight, honestly and earnestly.
Who thought eight short years ago, that
Slavery, that gigantic evil, could, by any
possibility, be removed from our fair land.
And yet to-day we stand in a broad land,
every acre of which, is consecrated by the
constitution, to freedom forever, and the
curse that divided the church, and the State,
and deluged our fair laud in blood and
tears, and sunk twenty-six hundred mil
lions of treasure, is dead and forever bu
ried, and our deliverance is worth - all it
cost. And now if we can be freed from
this other and greater curse, a long stride
will be taken towards the millennium. But
the good cause must have its martyrs and
trials, its John Brown, and Fort Sumpter,
its Bull Run, and its Federicksburg, its
Libby Prison, and its Harper's Ferry, its
Booth, and its Alabama. But with the
help of God it is destined also, to liave its
Port Hudson, and its Vicksburg; its Sher
man, and its Sheridan; its Wilderness, and
its march through Georgia ; its Petersburg,
and its Appomattox; and finally its Grant
to successfully figbt it out on this line, un
til unconditional surrender, crowns Tem
perance King forever. And let all the peo
ple say Amen. .
fey*"Friend Mallaby, I am pleased that
thee has got such a fine organ in thy
church." "But," said the clergyman. "I
thought you were strongly opposed to hav
ing au organ in a church ?" "So I am,"
said friend Obudiali, "but then, if thee will
worship the Lord with machinery, I would
like thee to have a first-rate instrument."
"Father," said a four years old child,
"I think you are very foolish."
"Why, my child ?"
"Because you have brought that baby
here when mother is sick, and you have to
get a woman to take care of it."
"Go rock the cradle, Lucy, and no more
of your jabber."
Bfefi' How often do we sigh for opportu
nities of doing good, whilst we neglect to
openings of Providence in little things,
which would frequently lead to the accom
plishment of most important usefulness !
j6kfi"Tlio latest mode of announcing a
birth is to caU it "cutting off a coupon
from the marriage bond."
EARLY ABOLHTIONISTS-THEN AND
NOW.
Tom Hood somewhere describes the
frantic zeal with which certain "Id dames
of England once endeavored to scour to
whiteness some Africans among them.—
They worts determined to make the negro
a white man, by scrubbing off the black,
and so gathered together all the soap and
scrubbing brushes of the neighborhood and
went to work with jtersistent and unflag
ging industry. Thoy stripped Hambo and
lathered, and rubbe d, and foamed and scrub
bed him till the skin fairly peeled off.—
Then they hung liim out to dry, but he
was still a ucgro, and did not even pale in
to dark mulatto under the process. They
laid him out over night on the grass, that
the night air and morning dew might
whiten him with their alkalic properties,
but all in vain ; the African was still black,
and from being polished, was all the black-1
The ltump Congress and the Republican
party at this time, it.is palpable, are but
re-attempting what their simple English
mothers undertook. It is a plain case of
the same philanthropy which exercised the
early Abolitionists, for while they have
gathered together the material wealth of the
people, to be used up in lathering and
scrubbing the negro into a white man,
they leave themselves unclean, and the ne
gro is as thoroughly a savage, block and
forbidding, as when they commenced their
labors upon him. In fact, he is all the
blacker, that they have attempted to scrub
liim white.
And in this insane attempt, millions of
the people's money—hundreds of millions
—havo been "lathered" away upon the
African ; as well might thoy attempt to
change the spots upon the leopard, as to fit
Sambo to live under, and become amen
able to. laws and a civilization beyond his
powers of comprehension ; much less can
they legislate him into a legislator. He
belongs to the jungles and "devil bushes"
of Africa. They are liis by nature and he
theirs ; and ne returns to a condition suit
ing them to him, and ho to them, the mo
ment the strong grip of the white man
loosens its hold upon him.
The effort to make the negro a freeman
—to give him the rights of citizenship and
equality of person, only exhibit the falsity
of that sentiment, the success of which has
done the African-American so great a wrong.
Wherein ho is a freeman '? Tho boon has
la'en extended to him, and he takes it and
wanders away from civilization, as if seek
ing to find his native and natural plane—
a jungle into which he can creep from tho
white man's eye, therein to practice his
mysterious Obi incantations and supersti
tious.
Serub him, lather him, soap him, rub
him, as ye will, he comes from the bath
still a nigger—hideous to the eye—offen
sive to the senses. And so it will continue
tlirongh all time. He cannot be made the
equal of the white man ; he cannot bo rais
ed to that plane ; and if equality be resolv
ed upon, those who stand upon the* plane
above the trembling, jibbering "man and
brother" must come down to him, and wal
low with him on his plane.
This is the penalty of equality.. We can
not Anglo-Saxonize the negro, lmt the ne
gro may Africanize the white man. It is
easier to descend than to ascend. The one
cannot ascend —henee the other must de
scend. — Bellefonte Watchman.
HARD ON THI: ENGINEER. —An engineer
on the O. k M. R. 15- tells tho following
story on himself : One night the train
stopped to wood and water at a small sta
tion in Indiana. While this operation was
going on, I observed two green4ooking
countrymen, in "humspun," curiously in
specting the locomotive and occasionally
giving vent to expressions of astonishment.
Finally one of tliem looked up at me and
said : . '
"Stranger, are this a locomotive?"
"Certainly ! Didn't yon ever see one be
fore ? "
"No, haven't never saw one afore. Me'n
Bill come down to the station to-night pur
poses to see one. Them's tho biler, ain't
it ?"
"Yes, certainly,"
"What yer call that you're in ? "
"We call tliis the cab."
"And this big wheel ?"
"That's the driving wheel."
"That big black thing on top is thecbim
bley, I suppose ? "
"Precisely."
"Be you the engineer wot runs the mi
dline ? "
"I am the engineer."
"Bill," said the fellow to his mate, after
eyeing me closely for a few minutes, "if
don't take much of a man tohc engineer, do
it?"
"All aboard!"
fkif John Chinarqpn in California is
clear at a bargain. His ideas of the "cred
it system" are extremely safe though rath
er vague. A merchant of unbounded cred
it in San Francisco recently applied to a
Chinese merchant, through has agent to pur
chase a cargo of rice on time. The agent
duly set forth tho opulence, standing, Are.,
of lis principal, to which the Chinaman
replied : "Yes, him welly good man.—
Me tmst-ec, him pay mo one half casli-ee,
other half when me deliver rice-ee."
TERMS, $2.00 Per. ANNUM, in Advance
1 piSf & otj)frfois£.
lka~ There's many a skip 'twixt tlir< flea
and the nip.
tter' A man's best fortune—or his worst
—his wife.
#©y- "l'rido goeth l>efore a fall," and
many a water-fall.
■ A New York paper says of a famous
singer, that "she sings a few airs, and puts
on a good many."
lihtf" What is the difference between a
High Episcopalian and a Baptist ? (Jno
burns wax candles and the other dips.
fcf/; Why should the sea make a better
house-keeper than the earth? Because the
earth is exceedingly dirty, and the sea is
very ti/Jy.
B©*" A man recently picked tip one end
of a few yards of dress goods in the street,
but on discovering a female at-the other
end, concluded to let it remain.
R->y- An Irishman recently soliloquized :
"What a wastp o' money to be buying
mate when you know the half of it is bone,
when you can spind it for nun that hasn't
a bono in it."
fe£r- "What have you done with your
doll, Amy ? " "Locked it up, papa. Going
to keep it for my 'ifcty gol, w lieu I get big
just like mauima!" "Ah! but suppos
you have noue ? " * 'Never mind. My
g'nn' child will have it."
&.>' Do you observe how devotional
Deacon Buffer is ? " asked a good lady of
her husband. "Yes, my dear, the Deacon
is very devotional. He always keeps hi;
head bowed in prayer until the contribu
tion box lias passed."
fifer" An auctioneer, at a late sale of an
tiquities, put up a helmet, with the follow
ing candid observation : "This, ladies and
gentlemen, is a helmet of Ilomulus, the
Roman founder ; but whether he was a
brass or iron founder I cannot tell."
A city miss on a visit to the country,
was tilled with surprise at the skill of a girl
in milking a cow. "I didn't know you
did it in that way," she said with round
eyed wonder. "I thought they took hold
of the cow's tail, aixl pumped the tniik out
of her ! What's she gotso longa tail for ? "
-
fear 1 - An impatient boy waiting for grist,
said to tho miller: m
"I eould eat the in<Til as fast as the mil!
grinds it."
"How long could you do so ? " inquired
the miller.
" 'Till starved to death," was the sarcas
tic reply.
* -
A country girl, coming from the
lield. being told by her poetic cousin that
.she looked as fresh as a daisy kissed with
dew, said:
"Well, it wasn't any fellow by that name
but it was .Steve Jones that kissed me. I
told liim that every one in town would find
it out."
K~lf A New Hampshire man told a story
about a floe!-" of crows throe miles long, and
so thick that you could not see tho sun
through it. "Don't believe it," was the re
ply. "Wal," *aid the narrator, "you're a
stranger, and I don't want to quarrel with
you. So, to please you, I'll take off a
quarter of a mile from the thinnest part.
JSriV" "Sonny, do yon love me any?"
"Oh, don't I though!" "What for?"
"Because you always bring me candy when
you come to see Sissy Jaue. Giro me some
more." "And what does Sissy Jaue love
me for ? " ' 'Oh, 'ouiwyou take her to con
certs and give her so many nice tilings.
She say a so long as you arc l'ool enough to
bring her shawls and bonnets, she won't
sack you nohow. Now give me some more
dandy."
A TOUGH STOUT. —The other evening in
our "private crib," there was a learned dis
sertation, subject, ''Bed-bugs and their re
markable tenacity of life." One asserted
of his own knowledge that they could be
boiled and then come to life. Some had
soaked tlieni for hours in turpentine with
out any fatal consequences. Old Hanks,
who had been listening as an outsider,
here gave in his experience in corrobora
tion of the facts. Says he: "Some years
ago. I took a l>ed-bug to an iron foundry,
iuul dropped it into a ladle where the mel
ted iron was, had it made into a skillet,—
Well my old woman used that skillet pret
ty constant for the last six years, and hero
the other day.it broke all to smash, and
what do you think, gentlemen, that ere iu
sect just walked out of his hole where he'd
been layin' like a frog in a rock, and made
tracks for his old roost up stairs ! "But,"
1 added lie, byway of parenthesis, "by
I George, gentlemen, he looked mighty
pale !"
10. 31.