Wyoming democrat. (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, October 07, 1868, Image 1

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    ftlpming ifpfc Democrat,
HARVEY SICKLER, Publisher.
VOL. VIII.
Ppmiirg pfinoti'DL.
A Democratic weekly
pioer devoted to Poti yJ~~\
cii-J News, the Arts
and Sciences Ac. PuD- ~
li.-hed every Wadnes
jiy, at Tunkbannock " {j
BY HARVEY SICKLER H
Torui* —I copy I year, in advance) 52,00; if
aot paid within six months, *2.50 will he charged
NO paper will be DISCONTINUED, until all are
rearagesre paid; unless at the option of publi
RATES OF ADVERTISING
TEX LINES CONSTITUTE A SQUARE.
One rquure one or three insertions S! 50
Every subsequ nt insertion less than 8 50
REAL ESTATE, PERSONAL PROPERTY, and GENERAL
ADVERTISING, as mat be agreed upon,
PATENT MEDICINES and other advertisements iy
the column :
One column, 1 year, S6O
Half column, 1 year 35
Third column, 1 year, 25
Fourth eolnmn, 1 year, 20
Kiiailit-ss Cards of one sqaare or less, per year
with paper, £B.
EDITORIAL or LOCAL ITEM advertising—with
out Advertise!! ent—ls ets. per line. Liberal terms
made with permanent advertisers
EXECUTORS, ADMINISTRATORS and AUDI
rOR'S NOTICES, of the usual length, $2.50
OBITUARIES,-exceeding ten lin s, each ; REI.I
GlOl'Sand LITERARY NOTICES, not of general
ntcrest, one half tnc regular rates.
A Ivcrtisement* must be handed in by Trrs-
AV NOON, to insure insertion the same week
JOB WORK
fall kinds neatly executed nnd at prices to suit
the times.
til TRANSIENT ADVERTISEMEN PS and JOB
WORK u.ust be paid for, when ordered
Business \olices.
j) |.A W E LITTLE ATTORNEYS Al
li LAW OiSce on Tioga Street Tunkhannjck i'a
HO. COOPER. PHYSICIAN A SURGEON
• Newton Centre. Luzerne County Pa.
Oh, I'ARRISH, ATTORNEY AT LAW
• Uffi-e at the Court House, in Tunkhanock
Wyoming Co. Pa.
M.S. nATT, ATTORNEY ATT.Xw <7f
fice in Stark's Brie k Bloek Tioga St., Tunk
naiiiUM-k, Pa
'P J (MASK. ATTORNEY AND COUNSEL
1 a LOR AT LAW, Nicholson, Wyoming Co*, P.i
Especial uttention given to settlement of dece
dent's estates
Nicholson, Pa., Dec. 5. 1 -3, —v7n!9yI
MJ. WILSOF, ATTO.vNFY AT LAW, Col
• lecting and Real Estate Agent. lowa Lands
fur sale. Seranton, Pa. 38tf.
[ W, H U OAD*. PHYSICIAN k SURGEON,
J • will attend promptly to all calls in his pro
fession. May Vie found at his Office at the Drug
-tore, or at liis residence on Putman Sreet, formerly
occupied Viy A. K. Peckham E.-q.
PORTRAIT, LANDSCAPE,
AND
OHMMSHTIL
I'.A.TINrTIIXrCSr.
'liy ir. JiCGEii, Artist.
dooms over the Wyoming National bsnk.in Stark's
Block,
TUN KHAN NOCIv, FA.
Life-size Portrait® painted from Ambrotypes or
L.t.igraphs—Photographs Painted in OifCilors—
All orders for paintings executed aceordingto or
der,or nocharge made.
Instructions given in Drawing, Sketching.
Portrait and Landscape Painting, in Oil or water
Colors, and in all branches of the art,
Tunk . July 31, 'fi7 -vonsO-tf.
HUFFORL) HOUSE.
TUNXHANNOCX. WYOMING CO., PA.
'puis K>TA BLIS HM EXT HAS RECENTLY
I i.een refitted an I turnisheil in the latest style.
Every attention will bo given to the comfort and
mnieoience of tboee who patronite the House.
11, Ht'FFORI) Proprietor.
Tuokhannock, Pa., Juno 17, 1368—?7n44.
BOLTON HOUSE.
HARRISBUFiG, I'KNNA■
The undersigned having lately purchased the
lit'EHLER HOCSE " property, has already com
menced such alterations and improvements as will
render this old and popular House equal, if not supe
rior, to any Hotel in the City of Harrisburg.
A continuance of the public patronage is rcfpect
fully solicited.
GEO. J. BOLTON
WALL'S HOTEL,
LATE AMERICAN HOUSE/
TIT N U f| V N NOCK, WYOMING CO, PA.
rlll.B establishment has recently been refitted an
furnished in the latest style Evcrv attentb n
•ill be given to the comfort and convenience 1 those
•ho patronize the Houe.
T. B- WALL, Owner and Proprietor'.
Tunkhanoock, September 11, 1861.
MEANS' HOTEL.
TOWANDA, PA.
A B- BARTLET,
Late olt . "brainard Hocse, Elvira, N. Y
I'KOt'ltlKTOK.
The MEANS HOTEL, U one of the LARGEST
ni BEST ARRANGED Houses in the country—lt
'■ fitted up in the most modern and improved style
aad no pains are spared to make it a plcnsnntand
agreeable stopping piace for all,
v3n2l-ly.
FOR SAL?: CHEAP,
IUATTOKM
A 'JEREMIAH CAMPBEL LS', Tunkhanoock Pa
n49-tf.
•1000 Yds. DELAINES for 15 cts.
Kryard, at C. DETRICK'S.
®OOO Yards Best Prints, for
i2 Hsper vnrd, at C. DKTKICLK'S.
LOST OK SI OLEN.
ten Vh® Fair, a pocket book, containing
- naollan In money, and a note dated about June
,or 4®**. payable one year after
L' ° 'he undersigned and signed Jasper Hillings
Pym*nt of which lias been stopped.
TT- _ \VESLET BILLIXOS
SSOCK, Sept, 88TH, W8 nWw.
TUNKHANNOCK, WYOMING CO., PA.-WEDNESDAY, OCT. 7. 1808.
Latest ,JV%tvs.
Late arrival of New Goods.
Great Bargains at the New Store of
C. IDetricls.,
in S. Stark's F.ri;k Block,
AT TUNKHANNOCK, PENN'A.
Having just returned from the City, t um now
opening an entire New S:ock of
FALL GOODS,
ami one of the lorges: ami richest assortments ever
offered in this community. Consisting of
RICH AND FANCY COL'RD DRESS
SILKS,
FRENCH AND ENGLISH MERINOS.
EMPRESS AND PRINCESS CLOTHS,
POPLINS, PAREMETTOS,
BLACK AND COLORED
ALPACCAS WOOL. ARMURE, PEKIN
AND MOISELIEU DELAINS, IN PORTED
AND DOMESTIC GINGHAMS, PRINTS
of Best Manufactures and Latest Styles,
Ladies Cloths and Sacqueings, Cloths, j
Cassimeres, Vesting?, !
Satenetts, Tweeds,
Jeanf, Cottonade?.
Drills, Denims,
Ticks, Checks,
Stripes,
Sheetings
Shirtings, Bleached
A Brown. Shawls,
Sontags, Hoods.
Furs, Ladies' Reticules. Shopping Bugs and Baskets
TRUNKS. VALISES, and TRAVELING
BAGS,
Latest Styles,
Kid, Silk, Lisle Thread, Cotton
Gloves, Hosiery, Notions,
Toilet and Fancv
GOODS,
FANCY SOAPS, PERFUMERY,'
.Jc . \c.,
;i?:
Black and Colored Velvets,
Ribbons,
Ruffles,
Frills,
Fringes,
Braids,
Beads, Ball and Bugle Trimmings
-
A Largo quantity LATENT STYLE HOOP SKIRTS, j
nnd CORSETTS, direct from Manufacturers, at j
greatly redn-ed ptices,
FLANNELS all Colors and QavlitUs '
READY MADE
ClotMng,
AND GENTS'
Furnishing floods.
HATS ANO CA S
of Latest Styles,
CALF, KIP, iid EAVY, BOOTS A SHOES.
Ladies'. Misses', and Children's KiJ Prnneile Mo j
rocco and Calf Gaiters, Shoes, and Slippers,
Wall and Window Pape Window
Curtains A Curtain Fix
tures, Carpets A
0 il -
Cloths. China,
Glass, and Stone \ v are,
Tinware,—made expressly for this
Trade, at.d warranted to gire satisfaction,
20 per cent. Cheaper than the usnal rates in htis
section,
Nails,
Spikes,
Iron
Steel,
Horse Shoe 9
Ilorso Shoe Nails,
Nail Rods,
Paints,
Pa\nt Oils,
Po in ten
Material. Putty, W indou Glass, Kerosene Ox
Hall, "Parlor, .Stand, and Hand
Lamps,
Lanterns, Lamp Chimnies, .Shades,
and "Burners.
COAXJ,
ASHTON, TURK ISLAND, A BBL. SALT
FLOCR,
FEED,
MEAL,
BITTER,
CHEESE,
LARD,
PORK,
HAMS,
and FISH.
SUGAR,
TEA,
COFFEE
SPICES,
SYRUP, A
MOLASSES,
WOOD At WILLOW WARE,
ROPCS,
<"OHl> AGE,
BASKETS,
BROOMS,
PAILS,
TIBS,
WASH BOARDS.
CARPET
SWEEPERS.
BRUSHES, of nil kinds,
! PATENT MEDICINES. DRUGS, and DYES
FLAVORING "EXTRACTS, Ac., Ac,
*
;n:
These goods have been selected
with great care to suit the wants oi
this community, and will be sold as
heretofore, at the lowest living rates
for cash or exchanged for country
produce at market prices. Thankful
for the past liberal patronage, I shall
endeavor by strict attention to my
business, to merit a continuance oi
the same, and will try to make the
future still more attractive and ben
: eficial to customers.
I C DETRICK.
YUBA DAM
'•THE GRECIAN BEND,"
To the Editor of the Louisville Courier :
I Mary lias got it ; that lashioriable curva
tuie of the spine, called the Grecian
• "Bond " She caught it at Saratoga where
she has been on exhibition during the sea
sen. She has returned, however, bringing
with her several large trunks full of sec
ond hand clothing—that is garments,
which she has worn once.
As I was passing by a dry goods store
on Fourth Street, Marv Jane was coming
out of the door She was Qpitchii g for
i ward at such a rate I thought she was
about to fall into my arms. I held out
those impliments of industry accordiugly.
She didn't fall worth a cent. Regarding
not the example set by our first parents,
she maintained her curvillinear form, and
placing the tip of a gloved forefinger on
mv outstreched palm, she said in a fash
ionable drawl of a cursed Fifth Avanoo
dle, —
"Aw, Yubah, is it you ? Debited."
She picked up that infernal accent and
! language at Saratoga also.
••Why, Jennie dear, this is an unexpec
ed pleasure. (Grabbing both the little
hands and rolling them up together.) I
was not looking for you for some weeks.
You are ill. lam sorry. Shall I assist
i you to your carriage ? "
She looked somewhat like the half of a
parenthesis, but more like an interrogation
point. I was certain that she has been
eating unripe fruit, and was suffering from
cramp colic, and wondered why she did
not go honje and take something. But
she said: "Never was bett.iw in my
loife. 1 was fa weed to leave that sweet
place because I bad nothing absolutely to
weaw."
"Nothing to wear! Why, what has
become of all your clothes? Did you
have a fire, or did you exchadge them for
flower vases and plas!er-of-Paris statutes
of tho apostles ?
"Haw stupid! I had wan all my
dtesses once, and it's nawt the stoyle to
appeah in the same appawral twoice."
"Confound the style! But I am glad
von came home, if you did come almost
naked and so changed that it is difficult to
realize that it is you, Y'ou are among
friends now, and I hope that you will
shortly recover your speech and your fig
ure."
She was rnad, and expressed herseif
quite naturally and iotcll gently as fol
lows ;
"Friends 1 I 9uppose it is the chief
duty of one's friends to find fault with one.
I declare I am tired of friends, aud of this
little provincial town where the primitive
manners and styles of the backwoods still
ptevail. If one goes for awhile into good
society abroad and returns somewhat civil
ized, one is sure to incur the jeers and
ridicule of the barbarians here, Good
morning."
Saying which, she dived in another dry
goods'trap, and was soon engaged in tumb
ling and cheapening the fashionable fabrics
of the hour.
I never 9aw such a change in a person
in a few short weeks. When I parted
with her at the depot a few weeks ago she
was the very picture of health and per
sonification of physical beauty. She was
natural and unaflected, and as tenderly
demonstrative as she well could be in a
crowd composed of putertamillien, who in
stead of attending to his business and
baggage, thought it was necessary to see
me and Mary Jane safely deposited on
the train. It is my belief that the old
gentlemen was afraid that I would secrete
myself somewhere in the ear. I wish
now I had.
The energy with which Mary Jane at
tacked the drv gdods convinced me that I
was wrong in ray green fruit supposition
and that she was suffering from something
beyond the reach of peppermint. I nat
urally concluded that it must be that terri
ble disease known as the spinal complaint,
brought on by carrying too heavy panni
er and supporting long"trails. I forth
with diliigently consulted ali the medical
works which treat ot that aliment, and ae
cumulated ali the information on that sub
ject that I cou d, by vagi e questioning,
extracted from the medical profession.—
With a mind stored with useful knowledge
an.', a heart overflowing with affection, I
called to see the little sufferer with the in
tention of imparting to her a goodly quan
itv of both
She came into the parlor looking as
though she had been crimped with curling
tongs. How I pitied her. A few weeks
before she was as straight as an . arrow,
and a natural smile played ahont her rose
bud mouth, instead of that, constrained
pucker of pain (as I thee, supposed.)
"Ilow do you feel now, Jennie dear 1 '
I said in my most soothing tones.
"Why, 1 feel good, of course. One
conld mwt feel otherwise aftaw having
enjawed the watow and sawcietaw ofSar
atogaw."
"I admire your fortitude, Jennie, almost
as much as I deplore your misfortune, but
you might as well look the disagreeable
fact in the face at once. This is the only
way to obviate it. I assure you it is not
so very bad after all. The doctors say'it can
be cured, or so nearly so that with judi
cious dressing it will never be noticed. —
You know, Jennie, that it will make no
difference with me. As long as your
heart remains the same, no other changes
can change me."
"What are you talking about? Don't
understand you ; paws tively.''
"Don't be a goose, Mary Jane," (angri
ly) "I know that women always deny that
anything ails them. They think it is
•mart. But yon can't conceal yonr com-
" To Speak his Thoughts is Every Freeman's Right. "
plaint, and considering our present relations
I don't think you ought to conceal, any
thing from uie."
Mary Jane was getting mad. She has
a vein in her forehead which is an unerring
temper barometer. It began to swell.—
That and an ominous glittering of the
eyes said as plainly as an almanac, "look
out for squalls about this time." She said
energetioally :
"My complaint! Our present relations !
Conceal nothing from you ! Perhaps you
will be good enough to explain yourself;
that is, if you can."
My temper is not angelic. I never set
up for a saint, and Mary Jane's perversity
or obstinacy, added in her manner, did
not serve to me in a heavenly frame of
mind, so I blurted out my sentiments as
follows :
"You have curvature of the spine, as
every one that sees you must know. You
have it very badly, and you ought to do
something for it. Do, for heaven's sake
send for a doctor and get straight."
Y'ou should have seen the little, hump
back cuss then. She walked the floor as
erect as a liberty pole. Sho smiled sar
donically. She laughed hysterically. —
Finally she cried womanly, and then she
found her tongue —her native tongue
No New York drawl now, but each word
as sharp and incisive as a cambric needle
"Curvature of the spine. Ila !ha !
spine, ha, spine," (in a perfect shriek.) —
"O, you horrid, hateful brute ! O, yon
provoking fool—there! 1 just wish 1 was
a man for a few minutes!"
"I wish you was a sensible woman."
"Sense ! Well I admire to hear a boo
by— that c.in't tell the Grecian Bend from
the spinal compiant—talk about sense. '
"Grecian fiddle stick. You don't say
that the awful crook which you had in
your back was the Grecian Bend."
"I don't say anything to you. Anydody
but a fool knows it is the Grecian Bend
(assuming the form of a rainbow again )
No lady desires to look like a ramrod. —
Aft the belles of New Y'otk stoop graceful
ly, and leave stiffness and straight lines to
chamber maids and country folks."
"I suppose it was also from the New
York fops and belles that you learned the
art ol talking as though your moutlt was
full of hot mtir-h."
"Don't you talk about talking. Y'ou,
who never leave Louisville, think it pro
vincialisms comprise the proper language
but it is the lingo of your negro nurse.—
I cannot stand it. I never want to hear
any more of it. It is my desire that our
acquaintance even should terminate with
this interview.'"
And she sailed out of the room.
I don't suppose it is of any use to spec
ulate upon the humiliating speotaelo to
which lovely woman may yet l> • r<-1 u-. J
by fashion, lam convinced that their
fate depends entirely upon the whims and
caprices of the fashion-mongers of Paris.
The ladies have never given us any evi
dence of their desire to avoid the ridicu
lous absurd dictates of and ridiculous fash
ion is, the more eagerly and implicit}' her
devotees follow her. No considerations
of heat or of cold, of propriety, of affection
of comfort, or of anything else, cau divert
them trom the prevailing style. If the
Grecian bend follows the natural law of
fashion, it wll get worse and worse, and |
it will not be long until we see our sweet
hearts with t'leir heads barging down like i
howling devises.
I have taken the porcelain picture of j
Mary Jane out of its velvet case, and that •
pretty casket is now vacant. Her image, i
which is supposed to be, engraved upon
this beating heart, has failed out, or is
grown over with fat. 1 have determined
never to marry a woman with her back up.
Others may do a9 they please, but if ever I
do take a wife, I shall take her as I do my
Bourbon—straight. Y'UBA DAM.
Virginia.
I
This great Commonwealth—the mother
of Presidents—is now a subject province
ruled by the sword of tho Radical candi
date for President. At the close ol the
war, when her people abolished slavery,
and repudiated the rebel debt, the Radicals
began the work of reconstruction by de
stroying her ancient Constitution and sub
stituting the rule of the sword, in order to |
prop the domination of the negro. Her j
people have been deprived, by a Radical ;
Congress, of the right of voting for a Pres
ident. But the people of Virginia, gath
ering tip the remnant of civil law which is
left them by the neglect of their insolent
enemies, will assemble in November and
choose electors for President. The peo
ple ot the United States will take care
that the vote of Virginia shall be counted.
Her citizens have the same right with the
people of Massachusetts and South Caro
lina. It has a right guaranteed by the
Constitution, and is above all Radical
dictation and control. It is a right born
in the blood of the American citizen, and
can perish only when the popular voice is
silenced by the bayonet of the dictator. —
The crime of the Radicals, in Congress, is
in interposing the sword of their general
between the people and their choice for
Chief Magistrate Every man who partic
ipates in it deserves condign punishment,
and when the wrath of the people shall be
enkindled, the judgment will surely come.
The voice of the Americau people must
not be stifled ; the Constitutino must be
obeyed in all its parts, and the rights of
the citizens of every State sacredly guard
ed. There must be, there shall he, no ex
clusion of Virginia to enable the Radicals
to put their general fraudulently into the
' chair of the President.— Harrisbrry Pa
| triot.
Grant, Colfax and nigger supremacy !
What they are to Vote for.
The Radical leaders are struggling to
make their disciples believe that the con
test now is a "continuation of the war'
against the rebellion. But here is what
the supporters of radicalism are really ex
pected to vote for:
Taxes for the payment of interest on the
national debt (ill the next century.
Taxes for the payment of the national
debt in coin.
Taxes fur the support of the national ar
my to subjugate states,
Taxes for the support of the Freedmen's
Bureau to feed Southern negroes.
Taxes for the enrichment of loyal mem
bers of a rump Congress.
Taxes for feeding an army of pensioned
corruptionists.
Taxes for the support of a legion of tax
gatherers.
Taxes for the protection of Eastern man
ufactuers.
Taxes to pay the expenses of impeaching
honest officials.
Taxes to pay the board and pleasure
travels of white-washing Congressional
committees.
Taxes for the interest on Eastern bank
currency.
Taxes to pay the cost of military com
missions.
Taxes to pay for the suppression of the
freedom of speech.
Taxes for the cost of suppressing the
rights of suffrage
Taxes to pay for continuous sessions of
Congress.
Taxes to carry out Paine's project for
organizing a cor.gressionai army in the j
North.
Taxes to enforce Sumner's bill for reg
ulating suffrage in the North,
Taxes to arm Southern negroes.
Taxes for every scheme of partisan creed j
and despotism which a Radical Congress I
may see fit to invent and enforece "out- ,
side the Constitution.— Ex.
WHO PAY THE TAXES.
The Radicals are saying constantly that j
the poor man pays no taxes, that the rich ;
man pays them all; and that it matters not
how high they ate the poor man feels none
of the burdens. Let us see about this—as
it is a very specious sort of reasoning and
may probably deceive some. Tea, coffee
anil sugar have become prime necessaries
to our people, and no family can think of
doing without them. On these three arti
cles, in 1807, there were paid forty-eight
millions of dollars in gold, taxes. Sugar
and molasses alone paid thirty-two millions
taxes, on a sworn value of forty-six millions,
or a tax of about seventy-five per cent. A
tax of twenty five cents a pound in gold is
levied on tea. which is equal to about thir
ty live cents in currency at the present
price of gold. Whenever a poor man buys
a dollar's worth of sugar and molasses, lie
pays a tax of about seventy-five cents to
the government. While this is done the
bond of the bond bolder is altogether ex
empt from taxation. Tea, coffee, sugar,
and molasses are chiefly consumed by the
masses, who it will be seen pay more tax
es in proportion to their means, than the
bond holder. These taxes were imposed i
to support the Freedmen's Bureau, the ar-1
my to make a negro the political equal of
the white man, and a thousand other ex
travagant expenditures. Let us get rid of
them next November.
MAKE THE COMPARISON.
The National Intelligencer forcibly re
marks, "the farmer is toid that times are
not so bad when he can command two dol
lars a bushel for wheat and one dollar and
twenty cents for corn, and other things in
proportion. But the question for the far
mer is not so much what is its purchasing
power. lie cannot buy with two dollars
as he could fotmerly with one, and he
' finds himself at the close of the year with
less money in fact, though, perhaps, more
in name than he did before the era of
greenback*. The paper dollars, which is
a legal lender and nominally a dollar,
though worth less than seventy cents, has
disturbed all the values of the country, nnd
the brickmaker, who earns five dollars a
day, finds it harder work to feed and clothe
his family than he did when his wages
j were not quite so high sounding, hut more
' real."
WHO PROFITED BY THE WAR.
The Washington Diycst publishes a long
list of names, among which are Grant, Ste
vens, Sumner. Wade, Schenck, Sherman,
Sprague and other similar leading lights of
Radicalism, aggregate wealth isS7.l4 fiGO,-
OOt)! Of course, in this list, lie includes
"Beast Butler," whose fortune was aouired,
the JJiyexl says, by "spoons and plates,"
The wealth of these patriots before the in
vasion of the South was J 1,027,000. The
Diyest goes on to say: "They commenced
the Radical war with a million of dollars.—
They have run the government into a debt
of two thousand six hundred millions of dol
lars, and have pocketed f<r theinselve over
SEVEN HUNDRED MILLION
DOLLARS Ltf>which they hide from tax
ation, and demand payment of principal and
interest in gold from n taxed and overbur
dened people. May God, in bis mercy,
soon deliver the people from such rulers.
A mongrel exchange asks : Are
you going to let the rebels govern?"
No, sir—and therfore, we are going to
throw the party leJ by Phillips, Suinner,
and Ben. Butler, out of power, after the
Presidential election.
ALL the Justices of tho Peace elected in
1 Shelby County, Alabama, are negroea,
I and not one of them can read or write.
GOOD SPELLING. A pious but illitfcraie
| deacon, in a certain town in Massachusetts,
j gave a stage driver a slip of paper upon
J which, he said were written th names of
| a couple of books, which be wished him to
I call for at a book store. The driver called
| at the book store, nnd handing the metn-
I orandum to a clerk, said, "There's a cou
ple of books which Deacon B. wished yon
! to send to him." The clerk, nfu r a caie
! ful examination of the paper, was unable
j to make "head or tail" of it, and passed it
i to the book-keeper, who was sepposod to
know something of letters; but to hrm it
was also "Greek." The proprietor was
| called, and he also gave up in desprir; nnd
! it was finally concluded to send the memo
| random back to the deacon, as it WHS sup- J
' posed he must have sent the wrong paper, i
As the coach arrived at the village inn, the
driver saw the deacon standing on the j
steps.
"Well, driver," said to, "did you gel mv J
books to day ?"
"Books ! No ! And a good reason why;'
for there couldn't a man in Worcester r-ad I
your old hen tracks."
"Couldn't read writin ? Let n, c ihei
paper"
The driver drew it from his p >cket, and ,
passed it the deacon, who, taking out and j
carefully adjusting bis glasse.*, h id the j
memorandum at arm's length, an i exclaim
ed as he did so. in a very satisfai lory tout: i
"Why, it's as plain as the nos on your'
face. To S-a-m Bus—two psali.i books !j
I guess his clerks had better go ;o school I
a quarter.
"Don't be too Sure of Da ."
Gne ofThaddeus Stevens' eolo ed friend-'
who went to Lancaster to atten I Thad's
funeral, on his return was acosted !>v i
another colored brother as foilov.Well, j
Mr. Simpson, I'se of de opinion dit we's
gwyne to 'leet Grant forshurc."
"By Goll, Mr Brown, don't be l > share j
of dat—for 1 tells you now illooi s might: I
unsaition. When I went to Lancaster to ;
ten 1 de funeral of our,friend Mr. .Stevens,!
I never hocrd tell nullla hout Grant de
hole time I was gone. Dure was plenty of!
'fellers a hollerin' an shontin' for dat I! b< l!
Seemore, but I V-lare, for God, d it 1 didn't
hear one man holler for Grant. 1 tell voti i
its a fae, Mr. Brown, a lac. Why, when ,
I started for Lancaster 1 tought d<- p.-ople i
up dare was all Radicals —dat dey \v ul !
be very glad to see us colored f< I!;-, k i e 1
you know Mr. Steveus was our friend
but sure as I tell, dey wasn't glad t-> us
no how. Dey wouldn't let us wash our j
hans an faces at de hotel-,—doy wouldn't!
get us nufiin to eat—dey wouldn't walk in I
de fuu'ral procession wid us up d ie no!
how. I con'C unstan' it. I didn r. I tell
you, Mr Brown, dese here Radicals i* sly •
fellers. Dey don't me.in what dey sav. j
Dey say dey lub us colored pussons, but .
dey don't: dat dey don'. Don't b ■ too j
shure Grant's gwine to be 'leetd; t">r I t-!! :
you now, it didn't look dat way much up j
in Lancaster. Don't bet ntiffin on Gratit, j
less you'sc got more money an ym, kno# ]
what io do wid it "
"\\ by. Mr Simpson, you Mpi -u m j
"Can't help dat. Faes is facs,' rood bve.' •
ANVA DICKIXSON.—Miss Anna Dickin
son, tiie blooming tnaid (?) who Im-, made '
herself famous as a Republican oratress,;
asserts, without fear of contradiction, that j
General Hiram Ulysses Grant L the father j
of a number of Indian brats. In view of ;
the late disclosures of Anna, we suggest;
that old and popular song c. nctriiing the :
late John Brown, should he adap e i i(> the
newly discovere<i state of the Jacobin can- ,
didate. It would commence as follow*: j
"Hi N, Grant had a little Indian.
Had a little Indian.
MH<l a little? Indian,
Hi S. Grant had a little Indian.
One little Indian bo..
One little, two little, three littie Indian. *
Four little, five little, six little Indian,
Seven little, eight little nine little Ind m. !
Ten little Indian bov*."
jtirWhun, in a state of pcacp the pub-j
lie debt of the nation incriim* twelve mil-'
lion of dollars per month, is it no- time for |
the tax-burdened people to ask t iciiw-lves '
whether they are doing therasr- v.-s and !
families justice by continuing in power a j
party which causes this increase ' Ought j
they not to rise above mere purty, and con-1
sidcr that what they want now i retrench-|
ment in public expenditures ar I c msc— (
quently light taxation i—Will tl y allow!
themselves to be blinded to theit own in- 1
tcrests by tlic cant and claptrap >f an or- j
ganizatiun which is willing t - ict iiicc i
everything for the sake of pon r ? Arc!
they not proud of the title of American!
citizens, and will they not act a- in '.<)•> n- \
dent men ?
ANOTIIKU I'.ATTEtiY TI'KNED 1 IMN THE
RADICAL. —General Richard Coulter, of
Westmoreland Co., has li ft the Radical
disunion craft, and come out for Sevniour
and Rlair. He Ins made several powerful
speeches in favor of the restoration of the
Union, and against the usurpation of Rad-1
icalism. He will vote as he shot—against
the enemies of his country.
COIONEL J. CONNOR has b< on nomi- J
t nated for Congress by the Democrats in
! the Schuykiil and Lebanon District in this
i State. That makes the Radical "Cake all
I dough 'in the Tenth District. Colonel
! Connor will he elected bv a handsome nia
! joritv.
ALL who voted on ago last year must be
I assessed ibis year before they can vote.
I Young man see to this before next Saturday,
TERMS, SB.OO Per. ANNUM, in Advance
| iU is tank flljmtoisf.
■ "Sambo, did yon ever see ihe Cask U
| Moui'taius ?" "No. Clem ; bat I've seen
| the cat- kill mico !"
• •- - —-
"Ma, what is revenge ?" "It is when
your dad scolds me, and I hit him with the
broomstick."
- - - - —•- -
A man who will take a newspaper for
three or four years and then refuse to pay
for it will steal his grandmother's night cap
aud sell it for whisky.
The "wickedest man in Troy" wears a
Seymour badge upon his bosom.— Journal.
The "oldest toper in Troy" wears a
Grant badge on the end of hi* nose.— Ar
gus.
A Yankee wishing for some sauce for
his dumplings forgot the name of it and
said: "liere. waiter, fetch me some of that
gravy that you swallow vour dumplings
in !"
A man on Cap- Cod having advertised
his W ;fe as having left his bed and board,
-he retorts that she went away for a cou
ple of weeks to earn her board, and that
the bed belonged to her mother.
A minister or teacher, without boldness,
•> hkc a smooth file, a knife without an|dge,
a -emiu' ' tint is afr.iid to let off his gun.-
it men will be b>M'{insin. ministers must
be bold '0 reprove.
A REVEREND'S REMARK. —"My broth
ers," p a j,| a good .1(1 backwoods preacher,
"I'm gwinc to preach to you a plain sar
ment, tnat even women can understand.
<>u can find my in the five verse of the
two-eyed chapter of the one-eved John."
It was B IUIC time before it was perceived
th it ha meant Ist John, second chapter.
.V bachelor says: "A women will chug
to the coosen object of her heart like a
'possum :o a gum tiee, and you can't sep
arate hei without snapping strings no art
can inetid, and leaving a portion of her
soul otf the upper-leather of your affections.
She v\ ili sometimes see something to love
win-re others see nothing to admire; and
wtien fondness is once fastened on a fellow,
it sticks like glue and molasses in a bnsbv
head of hair."
ARTEC CS \V .van's TOAST —Areleinus Ward
bent,: present at a celebration exhibition, was
c-ileii upon to make a speech, when fie re
p led in a "tna-t to the ohair sex :
Ladies, st-z 1. lurmn to the butiful femsils
huoe pr. sents was pephuinin the fairground.
1 hope y i aiecnjoytn yourselves on this oc
cashun, and that letnioaid and waier ov
wnich you a i tiiurikin, may not go ugin you.
May you alters be iair as tiic sop, bright as
tbs in 'o:, and boiilul as an aruiy with
L nion fG^s —also plenty of good close to
ware.
i u ynre sex—commonly called the phair
sex, wo me indebted to burnings, as well as
many other blessings m these lo grownes of
sorro. Sum poor sfnrited fools blaim yurc
sex f r tiie difficulty in ttie gardin, but I hev
no d iwi but Adam would bev rigged a cyder
pre*-, and lik- us not went into a big bust
and driveaf out ware. Yure first mother
was a lady aud ail her dawters ditto, and
nun but - loatin cuss willjsay a wurd agin
yu. II- pin that no waive < v trouble will
acrjso yuio peaceful breasts, t koliclude these
remarks with the folicTin *centyine!it :
VV email—sl.e are a good egg.
— ——
The following line*—evidently the con
coction • some uxorioas lawyer —weie found
scratched upon a window-pane <-f an inn in a
Welch c vtintrv town:
Fie simple or a -iinpie fee,
And all th • .. s entrail,
Are nutliing 'vi n compared to thee,
Ttieu best of Ics—Female.
A negro tax collector down .South, called
on h wle'c in in t i Ins taxes. Says be :
'•.Mr. Sin lb dis is dc secon time I call ou
yon for he taxes. lh;w do deblnl do vou
'-pus • w culled pe ;>le am to lib, if you
white pe 'pi. don't pay taxes. Re freed
men's fceaur.t—dat' not sufficient, ffhite
folks wir don't you pay up."
' Mother, where i< the man going to sleep?"
a*ked a little girl of fifteen of her mother,
who ha i just promised a travelers night's
rest in their on'->f-i!ie way hut. "I'll have
to put ti in in with yen and Ku'e. and Bet
Jack, 1 suppose," she replied; "and if it is
too crowded one of vou must turn in with
my and lad, and Rick, and Tommy and the
Twin
A subscipt'on paper was lately circulated
among a congregation, with the object in
view: We snhsribi* and pay the amount oppc-
I site our names for the purpose of paying the
i organic and a bo,' to hb.w the same.''
i
i ~"
Tito weakest living creature. liv concon
! trating I.is powers on a single object, can
i accompli*)) something ; ttie strongest, by dis-
I p rsing hi* ever many, may fait t<> accom
p'isli anvthing. The drop, by continual fall
ing bore* its panagc throng the hardest
Wtk.
NO. 10.