ftlpming ifpfc Democrat, HARVEY SICKLER, Publisher. VOL. VIII. Ppmiirg pfinoti'DL. A Democratic weekly pioer devoted to Poti yJ~~\ cii-J News, the Arts and Sciences Ac. PuD- ~ li.-hed every Wadnes jiy, at Tunkbannock " {j BY HARVEY SICKLER H Torui* —I copy I year, in advance) 52,00; if aot paid within six months, *2.50 will he charged NO paper will be DISCONTINUED, until all are rearagesre paid; unless at the option of publi RATES OF ADVERTISING TEX LINES CONSTITUTE A SQUARE. One rquure one or three insertions S! 50 Every subsequ nt insertion less than 8 50 REAL ESTATE, PERSONAL PROPERTY, and GENERAL ADVERTISING, as mat be agreed upon, PATENT MEDICINES and other advertisements iy the column : One column, 1 year, S6O Half column, 1 year 35 Third column, 1 year, 25 Fourth eolnmn, 1 year, 20 Kiiailit-ss Cards of one sqaare or less, per year with paper, £B. EDITORIAL or LOCAL ITEM advertising—with out Advertise!! ent—ls ets. per line. Liberal terms made with permanent advertisers EXECUTORS, ADMINISTRATORS and AUDI rOR'S NOTICES, of the usual length, $2.50 OBITUARIES,-exceeding ten lin s, each ; REI.I GlOl'Sand LITERARY NOTICES, not of general ntcrest, one half tnc regular rates. A Ivcrtisement* must be handed in by Trrs- AV NOON, to insure insertion the same week JOB WORK fall kinds neatly executed nnd at prices to suit the times. til TRANSIENT ADVERTISEMEN PS and JOB WORK u.ust be paid for, when ordered Business \olices. j) |.A W E LITTLE ATTORNEYS Al li LAW OiSce on Tioga Street Tunkhannjck i'a HO. COOPER. PHYSICIAN A SURGEON • Newton Centre. Luzerne County Pa. Oh, I'ARRISH, ATTORNEY AT LAW • Uffi-e at the Court House, in Tunkhanock Wyoming Co. Pa. M.S. nATT, ATTORNEY ATT.Xw <7f fice in Stark's Brie k Bloek Tioga St., Tunk naiiiUM-k, Pa 'P J (MASK. ATTORNEY AND COUNSEL 1 a LOR AT LAW, Nicholson, Wyoming Co*, P.i Especial uttention given to settlement of dece dent's estates Nicholson, Pa., Dec. 5. 1 -3, —v7n!9yI MJ. WILSOF, ATTO.vNFY AT LAW, Col • lecting and Real Estate Agent. lowa Lands fur sale. Seranton, Pa. 38tf. [ W, H U OAD*. PHYSICIAN k SURGEON, J • will attend promptly to all calls in his pro fession. May Vie found at his Office at the Drug -tore, or at liis residence on Putman Sreet, formerly occupied Viy A. K. Peckham E.-q. PORTRAIT, LANDSCAPE, AND OHMMSHTIL I'.A.TINrTIIXrCSr. 'liy ir. JiCGEii, Artist. dooms over the Wyoming National bsnk.in Stark's Block, TUN KHAN NOCIv, FA. Life-size Portrait® painted from Ambrotypes or L.t.igraphs—Photographs Painted in OifCilors— All orders for paintings executed aceordingto or der,or nocharge made. Instructions given in Drawing, Sketching. Portrait and Landscape Painting, in Oil or water Colors, and in all branches of the art, Tunk . July 31, 'fi7 -vonsO-tf. HUFFORL) HOUSE. TUNXHANNOCX. WYOMING CO., PA. 'puis K>TA BLIS HM EXT HAS RECENTLY I i.een refitted an I turnisheil in the latest style. Every attention will bo given to the comfort and mnieoience of tboee who patronite the House. 11, Ht'FFORI) Proprietor. Tuokhannock, Pa., Juno 17, 1368—?7n44. BOLTON HOUSE. HARRISBUFiG, I'KNNA■ The undersigned having lately purchased the lit'EHLER HOCSE " property, has already com menced such alterations and improvements as will render this old and popular House equal, if not supe rior, to any Hotel in the City of Harrisburg. A continuance of the public patronage is rcfpect fully solicited. GEO. J. BOLTON WALL'S HOTEL, LATE AMERICAN HOUSE/ TIT N U f| V N NOCK, WYOMING CO, PA. rlll.B establishment has recently been refitted an furnished in the latest style Evcrv attentb n •ill be given to the comfort and convenience 1 those •ho patronize the Houe. T. B- WALL, Owner and Proprietor'. Tunkhanoock, September 11, 1861. MEANS' HOTEL. TOWANDA, PA. A B- BARTLET, Late olt . "brainard Hocse, Elvira, N. Y I'KOt'ltlKTOK. The MEANS HOTEL, U one of the LARGEST ni BEST ARRANGED Houses in the country—lt '■ fitted up in the most modern and improved style aad no pains are spared to make it a plcnsnntand agreeable stopping piace for all, v3n2l-ly. FOR SAL?: CHEAP, IUATTOKM A 'JEREMIAH CAMPBEL LS', Tunkhanoock Pa n49-tf. •1000 Yds. DELAINES for 15 cts. Kryard, at C. DETRICK'S. ®OOO Yards Best Prints, for i2 Hsper vnrd, at C. DKTKICLK'S. LOST OK SI OLEN. ten Vh® Fair, a pocket book, containing - naollan In money, and a note dated about June ,or 4®**. payable one year after L' ° 'he undersigned and signed Jasper Hillings Pym*nt of which lias been stopped. TT- _ \VESLET BILLIXOS SSOCK, Sept, 88TH, W8 nWw. TUNKHANNOCK, WYOMING CO., PA.-WEDNESDAY, OCT. 7. 1808. Latest ,JV%tvs. Late arrival of New Goods. Great Bargains at the New Store of C. IDetricls., in S. Stark's F.ri;k Block, AT TUNKHANNOCK, PENN'A. Having just returned from the City, t um now opening an entire New S:ock of FALL GOODS, ami one of the lorges: ami richest assortments ever offered in this community. Consisting of RICH AND FANCY COL'RD DRESS SILKS, FRENCH AND ENGLISH MERINOS. EMPRESS AND PRINCESS CLOTHS, POPLINS, PAREMETTOS, BLACK AND COLORED ALPACCAS WOOL. ARMURE, PEKIN AND MOISELIEU DELAINS, IN PORTED AND DOMESTIC GINGHAMS, PRINTS of Best Manufactures and Latest Styles, Ladies Cloths and Sacqueings, Cloths, j Cassimeres, Vesting?, ! Satenetts, Tweeds, Jeanf, Cottonade?. Drills, Denims, Ticks, Checks, Stripes, Sheetings Shirtings, Bleached A Brown. Shawls, Sontags, Hoods. Furs, Ladies' Reticules. Shopping Bugs and Baskets TRUNKS. VALISES, and TRAVELING BAGS, Latest Styles, Kid, Silk, Lisle Thread, Cotton Gloves, Hosiery, Notions, Toilet and Fancv GOODS, FANCY SOAPS, PERFUMERY,' .Jc . \c., ;i?: Black and Colored Velvets, Ribbons, Ruffles, Frills, Fringes, Braids, Beads, Ball and Bugle Trimmings - A Largo quantity LATENT STYLE HOOP SKIRTS, j nnd CORSETTS, direct from Manufacturers, at j greatly redn-ed ptices, FLANNELS all Colors and QavlitUs ' READY MADE ClotMng, AND GENTS' Furnishing floods. HATS ANO CA S of Latest Styles, CALF, KIP, iid EAVY, BOOTS A SHOES. Ladies'. Misses', and Children's KiJ Prnneile Mo j rocco and Calf Gaiters, Shoes, and Slippers, Wall and Window Pape Window Curtains A Curtain Fix tures, Carpets A 0 il - Cloths. China, Glass, and Stone \ v are, Tinware,—made expressly for this Trade, at.d warranted to gire satisfaction, 20 per cent. Cheaper than the usnal rates in htis section, Nails, Spikes, Iron Steel, Horse Shoe 9 Ilorso Shoe Nails, Nail Rods, Paints, Pa\nt Oils, Po in ten Material. Putty, W indou Glass, Kerosene Ox Hall, "Parlor, .Stand, and Hand Lamps, Lanterns, Lamp Chimnies, .Shades, and "Burners. COAXJ, ASHTON, TURK ISLAND, A BBL. SALT FLOCR, FEED, MEAL, BITTER, CHEESE, LARD, PORK, HAMS, and FISH. SUGAR, TEA, COFFEE SPICES, SYRUP, A MOLASSES, WOOD At WILLOW WARE, ROPCS, <"OHl> AGE, BASKETS, BROOMS, PAILS, TIBS, WASH BOARDS. CARPET SWEEPERS. BRUSHES, of nil kinds, ! PATENT MEDICINES. DRUGS, and DYES FLAVORING "EXTRACTS, Ac., Ac, * ;n: These goods have been selected with great care to suit the wants oi this community, and will be sold as heretofore, at the lowest living rates for cash or exchanged for country produce at market prices. Thankful for the past liberal patronage, I shall endeavor by strict attention to my business, to merit a continuance oi the same, and will try to make the future still more attractive and ben : eficial to customers. I C DETRICK. YUBA DAM '•THE GRECIAN BEND," To the Editor of the Louisville Courier : I Mary lias got it ; that lashioriable curva tuie of the spine, called the Grecian • "Bond " She caught it at Saratoga where she has been on exhibition during the sea sen. She has returned, however, bringing with her several large trunks full of sec ond hand clothing—that is garments, which she has worn once. As I was passing by a dry goods store on Fourth Street, Marv Jane was coming out of the door She was Qpitchii g for i ward at such a rate I thought she was about to fall into my arms. I held out those impliments of industry accordiugly. She didn't fall worth a cent. Regarding not the example set by our first parents, she maintained her curvillinear form, and placing the tip of a gloved forefinger on mv outstreched palm, she said in a fash ionable drawl of a cursed Fifth Avanoo dle, — "Aw, Yubah, is it you ? Debited." She picked up that infernal accent and ! language at Saratoga also. ••Why, Jennie dear, this is an unexpec ed pleasure. (Grabbing both the little hands and rolling them up together.) I was not looking for you for some weeks. You are ill. lam sorry. Shall I assist i you to your carriage ? " She looked somewhat like the half of a parenthesis, but more like an interrogation point. I was certain that she has been eating unripe fruit, and was suffering from cramp colic, and wondered why she did not go honje and take something. But she said: "Never was bett.iw in my loife. 1 was fa weed to leave that sweet place because I bad nothing absolutely to weaw." "Nothing to wear! Why, what has become of all your clothes? Did you have a fire, or did you exchadge them for flower vases and plas!er-of-Paris statutes of tho apostles ? "Haw stupid! I had wan all my dtesses once, and it's nawt the stoyle to appeah in the same appawral twoice." "Confound the style! But I am glad von came home, if you did come almost naked and so changed that it is difficult to realize that it is you, Y'ou are among friends now, and I hope that you will shortly recover your speech and your fig ure." She was rnad, and expressed herseif quite naturally and iotcll gently as fol lows ; "Friends 1 I 9uppose it is the chief duty of one's friends to find fault with one. I declare I am tired of friends, aud of this little provincial town where the primitive manners and styles of the backwoods still ptevail. If one goes for awhile into good society abroad and returns somewhat civil ized, one is sure to incur the jeers and ridicule of the barbarians here, Good morning." Saying which, she dived in another dry goods'trap, and was soon engaged in tumb ling and cheapening the fashionable fabrics of the hour. I never 9aw such a change in a person in a few short weeks. When I parted with her at the depot a few weeks ago she was the very picture of health and per sonification of physical beauty. She was natural and unaflected, and as tenderly demonstrative as she well could be in a crowd composed of putertamillien, who in stead of attending to his business and baggage, thought it was necessary to see me and Mary Jane safely deposited on the train. It is my belief that the old gentlemen was afraid that I would secrete myself somewhere in the ear. I wish now I had. The energy with which Mary Jane at tacked the drv gdods convinced me that I was wrong in ray green fruit supposition and that she was suffering from something beyond the reach of peppermint. I nat urally concluded that it must be that terri ble disease known as the spinal complaint, brought on by carrying too heavy panni er and supporting long"trails. I forth with diliigently consulted ali the medical works which treat ot that aliment, and ae cumulated ali the information on that sub ject that I cou d, by vagi e questioning, extracted from the medical profession.— With a mind stored with useful knowledge an.', a heart overflowing with affection, I called to see the little sufferer with the in tention of imparting to her a goodly quan itv of both She came into the parlor looking as though she had been crimped with curling tongs. How I pitied her. A few weeks before she was as straight as an . arrow, and a natural smile played ahont her rose bud mouth, instead of that, constrained pucker of pain (as I thee, supposed.) "Ilow do you feel now, Jennie dear 1 ' I said in my most soothing tones. "Why, 1 feel good, of course. One conld mwt feel otherwise aftaw having enjawed the watow and sawcietaw ofSar atogaw." "I admire your fortitude, Jennie, almost as much as I deplore your misfortune, but you might as well look the disagreeable fact in the face at once. This is the only way to obviate it. I assure you it is not so very bad after all. The doctors say'it can be cured, or so nearly so that with judi cious dressing it will never be noticed. — You know, Jennie, that it will make no difference with me. As long as your heart remains the same, no other changes can change me." "What are you talking about? Don't understand you ; paws tively.'' "Don't be a goose, Mary Jane," (angri ly) "I know that women always deny that anything ails them. They think it is •mart. But yon can't conceal yonr com- " To Speak his Thoughts is Every Freeman's Right. " plaint, and considering our present relations I don't think you ought to conceal, any thing from uie." Mary Jane was getting mad. She has a vein in her forehead which is an unerring temper barometer. It began to swell.— That and an ominous glittering of the eyes said as plainly as an almanac, "look out for squalls about this time." She said energetioally : "My complaint! Our present relations ! Conceal nothing from you ! Perhaps you will be good enough to explain yourself; that is, if you can." My temper is not angelic. I never set up for a saint, and Mary Jane's perversity or obstinacy, added in her manner, did not serve to me in a heavenly frame of mind, so I blurted out my sentiments as follows : "You have curvature of the spine, as every one that sees you must know. You have it very badly, and you ought to do something for it. Do, for heaven's sake send for a doctor and get straight." Y'ou should have seen the little, hump back cuss then. She walked the floor as erect as a liberty pole. Sho smiled sar donically. She laughed hysterically. — Finally she cried womanly, and then she found her tongue —her native tongue No New York drawl now, but each word as sharp and incisive as a cambric needle "Curvature of the spine. Ila !ha ! spine, ha, spine," (in a perfect shriek.) — "O, you horrid, hateful brute ! O, yon provoking fool—there! 1 just wish 1 was a man for a few minutes!" "I wish you was a sensible woman." "Sense ! Well I admire to hear a boo by— that c.in't tell the Grecian Bend from the spinal compiant—talk about sense. ' "Grecian fiddle stick. You don't say that the awful crook which you had in your back was the Grecian Bend." "I don't say anything to you. Anydody but a fool knows it is the Grecian Bend (assuming the form of a rainbow again ) No lady desires to look like a ramrod. — Aft the belles of New Y'otk stoop graceful ly, and leave stiffness and straight lines to chamber maids and country folks." "I suppose it was also from the New York fops and belles that you learned the art ol talking as though your moutlt was full of hot mtir-h." "Don't you talk about talking. Y'ou, who never leave Louisville, think it pro vincialisms comprise the proper language but it is the lingo of your negro nurse.— I cannot stand it. I never want to hear any more of it. It is my desire that our acquaintance even should terminate with this interview.'" And she sailed out of the room. I don't suppose it is of any use to spec ulate upon the humiliating speotaelo to which lovely woman may yet l> • r<-1 u-. J by fashion, lam convinced that their fate depends entirely upon the whims and caprices of the fashion-mongers of Paris. The ladies have never given us any evi dence of their desire to avoid the ridicu lous absurd dictates of and ridiculous fash ion is, the more eagerly and implicit}' her devotees follow her. No considerations of heat or of cold, of propriety, of affection of comfort, or of anything else, cau divert them trom the prevailing style. If the Grecian bend follows the natural law of fashion, it wll get worse and worse, and | it will not be long until we see our sweet hearts with t'leir heads barging down like i howling devises. I have taken the porcelain picture of j Mary Jane out of its velvet case, and that • pretty casket is now vacant. Her image, i which is supposed to be, engraved upon this beating heart, has failed out, or is grown over with fat. 1 have determined never to marry a woman with her back up. Others may do a9 they please, but if ever I do take a wife, I shall take her as I do my Bourbon—straight. Y'UBA DAM. Virginia. I This great Commonwealth—the mother of Presidents—is now a subject province ruled by the sword of tho Radical candi date for President. At the close ol the war, when her people abolished slavery, and repudiated the rebel debt, the Radicals began the work of reconstruction by de stroying her ancient Constitution and sub stituting the rule of the sword, in order to | prop the domination of the negro. Her j people have been deprived, by a Radical ; Congress, of the right of voting for a Pres ident. But the people of Virginia, gath ering tip the remnant of civil law which is left them by the neglect of their insolent enemies, will assemble in November and choose electors for President. The peo ple ot the United States will take care that the vote of Virginia shall be counted. Her citizens have the same right with the people of Massachusetts and South Caro lina. It has a right guaranteed by the Constitution, and is above all Radical dictation and control. It is a right born in the blood of the American citizen, and can perish only when the popular voice is silenced by the bayonet of the dictator. — The crime of the Radicals, in Congress, is in interposing the sword of their general between the people and their choice for Chief Magistrate Every man who partic ipates in it deserves condign punishment, and when the wrath of the people shall be enkindled, the judgment will surely come. The voice of the Americau people must not be stifled ; the Constitutino must be obeyed in all its parts, and the rights of the citizens of every State sacredly guard ed. There must be, there shall he, no ex clusion of Virginia to enable the Radicals to put their general fraudulently into the ' chair of the President.— Harrisbrry Pa | triot. Grant, Colfax and nigger supremacy ! What they are to Vote for. The Radical leaders are struggling to make their disciples believe that the con test now is a "continuation of the war' against the rebellion. But here is what the supporters of radicalism are really ex pected to vote for: Taxes for the payment of interest on the national debt (ill the next century. Taxes for the payment of the national debt in coin. Taxes fur the support of the national ar my to subjugate states, Taxes for the support of the Freedmen's Bureau to feed Southern negroes. Taxes for the enrichment of loyal mem bers of a rump Congress. Taxes for feeding an army of pensioned corruptionists. Taxes for the support of a legion of tax gatherers. Taxes for the protection of Eastern man ufactuers. Taxes to pay the expenses of impeaching honest officials. Taxes to pay the board and pleasure travels of white-washing Congressional committees. Taxes for the interest on Eastern bank currency. Taxes to pay the cost of military com missions. Taxes to pay for the suppression of the freedom of speech. Taxes for the cost of suppressing the rights of suffrage Taxes to pay for continuous sessions of Congress. Taxes to carry out Paine's project for organizing a cor.gressionai army in the j North. Taxes to enforce Sumner's bill for reg ulating suffrage in the North, Taxes to arm Southern negroes. Taxes for every scheme of partisan creed j and despotism which a Radical Congress I may see fit to invent and enforece "out- , side the Constitution.— Ex. WHO PAY THE TAXES. The Radicals are saying constantly that j the poor man pays no taxes, that the rich ; man pays them all; and that it matters not how high they ate the poor man feels none of the burdens. Let us see about this—as it is a very specious sort of reasoning and may probably deceive some. Tea, coffee anil sugar have become prime necessaries to our people, and no family can think of doing without them. On these three arti cles, in 1807, there were paid forty-eight millions of dollars in gold, taxes. Sugar and molasses alone paid thirty-two millions taxes, on a sworn value of forty-six millions, or a tax of about seventy-five per cent. A tax of twenty five cents a pound in gold is levied on tea. which is equal to about thir ty live cents in currency at the present price of gold. Whenever a poor man buys a dollar's worth of sugar and molasses, lie pays a tax of about seventy-five cents to the government. While this is done the bond of the bond bolder is altogether ex empt from taxation. Tea, coffee, sugar, and molasses are chiefly consumed by the masses, who it will be seen pay more tax es in proportion to their means, than the bond holder. These taxes were imposed i to support the Freedmen's Bureau, the ar-1 my to make a negro the political equal of the white man, and a thousand other ex travagant expenditures. Let us get rid of them next November. MAKE THE COMPARISON. The National Intelligencer forcibly re marks, "the farmer is toid that times are not so bad when he can command two dol lars a bushel for wheat and one dollar and twenty cents for corn, and other things in proportion. But the question for the far mer is not so much what is its purchasing power. lie cannot buy with two dollars as he could fotmerly with one, and he ' finds himself at the close of the year with less money in fact, though, perhaps, more in name than he did before the era of greenback*. The paper dollars, which is a legal lender and nominally a dollar, though worth less than seventy cents, has disturbed all the values of the country, nnd the brickmaker, who earns five dollars a day, finds it harder work to feed and clothe his family than he did when his wages j were not quite so high sounding, hut more ' real." WHO PROFITED BY THE WAR. The Washington Diycst publishes a long list of names, among which are Grant, Ste vens, Sumner. Wade, Schenck, Sherman, Sprague and other similar leading lights of Radicalism, aggregate wealth isS7.l4 fiGO,- OOt)! Of course, in this list, lie includes "Beast Butler," whose fortune was aouired, the JJiyexl says, by "spoons and plates," The wealth of these patriots before the in vasion of the South was J 1,027,000. The Diyest goes on to say: "They commenced the Radical war with a million of dollars.— They have run the government into a debt of two thousand six hundred millions of dol lars, and have pocketed fwhich they hide from tax ation, and demand payment of principal and interest in gold from n taxed and overbur dened people. May God, in bis mercy, soon deliver the people from such rulers. A mongrel exchange asks : Are you going to let the rebels govern?" No, sir—and therfore, we are going to throw the party leJ by Phillips, Suinner, and Ben. Butler, out of power, after the Presidential election. ALL the Justices of tho Peace elected in 1 Shelby County, Alabama, are negroea, I and not one of them can read or write. GOOD SPELLING. A pious but illitfcraie | deacon, in a certain town in Massachusetts, j gave a stage driver a slip of paper upon J which, he said were written th names of | a couple of books, which be wished him to I call for at a book store. The driver called | at the book store, nnd handing the metn- I orandum to a clerk, said, "There's a cou ple of books which Deacon B. wished yon ! to send to him." The clerk, nfu r a caie ! ful examination of the paper, was unable j to make "head or tail" of it, and passed it i to the book-keeper, who was sepposod to know something of letters; but to hrm it was also "Greek." The proprietor was | called, and he also gave up in desprir; nnd ! it was finally concluded to send the memo | random back to the deacon, as it WHS sup- J ' posed he must have sent the wrong paper, i As the coach arrived at the village inn, the driver saw the deacon standing on the j steps. "Well, driver," said to, "did you gel mv J books to day ?" "Books ! No ! And a good reason why;' for there couldn't a man in Worcester r-ad I your old hen tracks." "Couldn't read writin ? Let n, c ihei paper" The driver drew it from his p >cket, and , passed it the deacon, who, taking out and j carefully adjusting bis glasse.*, h id the j memorandum at arm's length, an i exclaim ed as he did so. in a very satisfai lory tout: i "Why, it's as plain as the nos on your' face. To S-a-m Bus—two psali.i books !j I guess his clerks had better go ;o school I a quarter. "Don't be too Sure of Da ." Gne ofThaddeus Stevens' eolo ed friend-' who went to Lancaster to atten I Thad's funeral, on his return was acosted !>v i another colored brother as foilov.Well, j Mr. Simpson, I'se of de opinion dit we's gwyne to 'leet Grant forshurc." "By Goll, Mr Brown, don't be l > share j of dat—for 1 tells you now illooi s might: I unsaition. When I went to Lancaster to ; ten 1 de funeral of our,friend Mr. .Stevens,! I never hocrd tell nullla hout Grant de hole time I was gone. Dure was plenty of! 'fellers a hollerin' an shontin' for dat I! b< l! Seemore, but I V-lare, for God, d it 1 didn't hear one man holler for Grant. 1 tell voti i its a fae, Mr. Brown, a lac. Why, when , I started for Lancaster 1 tought d<- p.-ople i up dare was all Radicals —dat dey \v ul ! be very glad to see us colored f< I!;-, k i e 1 you know Mr. Steveus was our friend but sure as I tell, dey wasn't glad t-> us no how. Dey wouldn't let us wash our j hans an faces at de hotel-,—doy wouldn't! get us nufiin to eat—dey wouldn't walk in I de fuu'ral procession wid us up d ie no! how. I con'C unstan' it. I didn r. I tell you, Mr Brown, dese here Radicals i* sly • fellers. Dey don't me.in what dey sav. j Dey say dey lub us colored pussons, but . dey don't: dat dey don'. Don't b ■ too j shure Grant's gwine to be 'leetd; t">r I t-!! : you now, it didn't look dat way much up j in Lancaster. Don't bet ntiffin on Gratit, j less you'sc got more money an ym, kno# ] what io do wid it " "\\ by. Mr Simpson, you Mpi -u m j "Can't help dat. Faes is facs,' rood bve.' • ANVA DICKIXSON.—Miss Anna Dickin son, tiie blooming tnaid (?) who Im-, made ' herself famous as a Republican oratress,; asserts, without fear of contradiction, that j General Hiram Ulysses Grant L the father j of a number of Indian brats. In view of ; the late disclosures of Anna, we suggest; that old and popular song c. nctriiing the : late John Brown, should he adap e i i(> the newly discoveref an or- j ganizatiun which is willing t - ict iiicc i everything for the sake of pon r ? Arc! they not proud of the title of American! citizens, and will they not act a- in '.<)•> n- \ dent men ? ANOTIIKU I'.ATTEtiY TI'KNED 1 IMN THE RADICAL. —General Richard Coulter, of Westmoreland Co., has li ft the Radical disunion craft, and come out for Sevniour and Rlair. He Ins made several powerful speeches in favor of the restoration of the Union, and against the usurpation of Rad-1 icalism. He will vote as he shot—against the enemies of his country. COIONEL J. CONNOR has b< on nomi- J t nated for Congress by the Democrats in ! the Schuykiil and Lebanon District in this i State. That makes the Radical "Cake all I dough 'in the Tenth District. Colonel ! Connor will he elected bv a handsome nia ! joritv. ALL who voted on ago last year must be I assessed ibis year before they can vote. I Young man see to this before next Saturday, TERMS, SB.OO Per. ANNUM, in Advance | iU is tank flljmtoisf. ■ "Sambo, did yon ever see ihe Cask U | Moui'taius ?" "No. Clem ; bat I've seen | the cat- kill mico !" • •- - —- "Ma, what is revenge ?" "It is when your dad scolds me, and I hit him with the broomstick." - - - - —•- - A man who will take a newspaper for three or four years and then refuse to pay for it will steal his grandmother's night cap aud sell it for whisky. The "wickedest man in Troy" wears a Seymour badge upon his bosom.— Journal. The "oldest toper in Troy" wears a Grant badge on the end of hi* nose.— Ar gus. A Yankee wishing for some sauce for his dumplings forgot the name of it and said: "liere. waiter, fetch me some of that gravy that you swallow vour dumplings in !" A man on Cap- Cod having advertised his W ;fe as having left his bed and board, -he retorts that she went away for a cou ple of weeks to earn her board, and that the bed belonged to her mother. A minister or teacher, without boldness, •> hkc a smooth file, a knife without an|dge, a -emiu' ' tint is afr.iid to let off his gun.- it men will be b>M'{insin. ministers must be bold '0 reprove. A REVEREND'S REMARK. —"My broth ers," p a j,| a good .1(1 backwoods preacher, "I'm gwinc to preach to you a plain sar ment, tnat even women can understand. <>u can find my in the five verse of the two-eyed chapter of the one-eved John." It was B IUIC time before it was perceived th it ha meant Ist John, second chapter. .V bachelor says: "A women will chug to the coosen object of her heart like a 'possum :o a gum tiee, and you can't sep arate hei without snapping strings no art can inetid, and leaving a portion of her soul otf the upper-leather of your affections. She v\ ili sometimes see something to love win-re others see nothing to admire; and wtien fondness is once fastened on a fellow, it sticks like glue and molasses in a bnsbv head of hair." ARTEC CS \V .van's TOAST —Areleinus Ward bent,: present at a celebration exhibition, was c-ileii upon to make a speech, when fie re p led in a "tna-t to the ohair sex : Ladies, st-z 1. lurmn to the butiful femsils huoe pr. sents was pephuinin the fairground. 1 hope y i aiecnjoytn yourselves on this oc cashun, and that letnioaid and waier ov wnich you a i tiiurikin, may not go ugin you. May you alters be iair as tiic sop, bright as tbs in 'o:, and boiilul as an aruiy with L nion fG^s —also plenty of good close to ware. i u ynre sex—commonly called the phair sex, wo me indebted to burnings, as well as many other blessings m these lo grownes of sorro. Sum poor sfnrited fools blaim yurc sex f r tiie difficulty in ttie gardin, but I hev no d iwi but Adam would bev rigged a cyder pre*-, and lik- us not went into a big bust and driveaf out ware. Yure first mother was a lady aud ail her dawters ditto, and nun but - loatin cuss willjsay a wurd agin yu. II- pin that no waive < v trouble will acrjso yuio peaceful breasts, t koliclude these remarks with the folicTin *centyine!it : VV email—sl.e are a good egg. — —— The following line*—evidently the con coction • some uxorioas lawyer —weie found scratched upon a window-pane <-f an inn in a Welch c vtintrv town: Fie simple or a -iinpie fee, And all th • .. s entrail, Are nutliing 'vi n compared to thee, Ttieu best of Ics—Female. A negro tax collector down .South, called on h wle'c in in t i Ins taxes. Says be : '•.Mr. Sin lb dis is dc secon time I call ou yon for he taxes. lh;w do deblnl do vou '-pus • w culled pe ;>le am to lib, if you white pe 'pi. don't pay taxes. Re freed men's fceaur.t—dat' not sufficient, ffhite folks wir don't you pay up." ' Mother, where i< the man going to sleep?" a*ked a little girl of fifteen of her mother, who ha i just promised a travelers night's rest in their on'->f-i!ie way hut. "I'll have to put ti in in with yen and Ku'e. and Bet Jack, 1 suppose," she replied; "and if it is too crowded one of vou must turn in with my and lad, and Rick, and Tommy and the Twin A subscipt'on paper was lately circulated among a congregation, with the object in view: We snhsribi* and pay the amount oppc- I site our names for the purpose of paying the i organic and a bo,' to hb.w the same.'' i i ~" Tito weakest living creature. liv concon ! trating I.is powers on a single object, can i accompli*)) something ; ttie strongest, by dis- I p rsing hi* ever many, may fait t<> accom p'isli anvthing. The drop, by continual fall ing bore* its panagc throng the hardest Wtk. NO. 10.