Wyoming democrat. (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, February 12, 1868, Image 1

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    fDpmitg Democrat.
Ppming prinornil.
A Democratic weekly _
paper devoted to Poll .. J
ties News, the Arts
and Sciences Ac. Pub- "" .
lished every We dues
day, at Tunkhannock H|l /Tr*>. f f -v
Wyoming County.Pa t |mN LJ J
Terms —1 copy 1 year, (in advance) 82, BO; if
Mt paid within six.months, 2.50 will be charged
NO paper will be DISCONTINUED, until all ar
yavr-igcsre paid; unless at the option of publisher.
One square one or three insertions $1,50
Every subsequent iosenion less than 9 50
ADVERTISING, as may be agreed upon.
PATENT MEDICINES and other advertisements oy
the column :
One column, 1 year, 860
Half column, I year--- 35
Third column, 1 year, 25
Fourth column, 1 year, 20
Rusliicss Cards of one square or less, per year
With paper, -SB.
rr EDITORIAL or LOCAL ITEM ad verfising—with
out Advertisement —15 cts. per line. Liberal terms
made with permanent advertisers.
TOR'S NOTICES, of the usual length, $2,50
OBITUARIE-*,- exceeding ten tin- s, each ; RELI
GIOUS and LITERARY NOTICES, not of general
nterest, one half tne regular rates.
vertisemrn's must be handed in by TUES
DAV NOON, to insure insertion the same week.
of all kinds neatly executed and at prices to suit
the times.
WORK must be paid for, when ordered-
B mines Mot ices.
LAW Office cn Tioga Street TukkMMck t'u
• Newton Centre, I.uxerno County Pa.
• Offi-e at the Court House, in Tunkhannock
Wyoming Co. Pa
fice in Stark's Brick Block Tioga St., Tunk
nannock, Pa.
LOK AT LAW, Nicholson, Wyoming Co*, I'.ie
Es r ecial attention given to settlement ol dec. J
dent's estates
Nicholson, Pa. Dec 5, l c (j~ —v7n!9yl
>V. iloAWi PHYSH IIN - • N
• will atteml prumj'tly to nil MIIS in hiaj ro
feision. May be found at Li- Ofll.-e at tlie Drug
Srore, or at his residence on Putui in Srect, formerly
occupied by A. K. Peckham Esq.
*y g- v ;
DR. L. T. BURNS has permanently located in
Tunkhannock Bon.ugh, and respectfully tenders
his professional services to its citizens. |
Office on second floor, formerly occupied by Dr. .
7Jy V. Hl r Gh'R, Artist.
Rooms over the Wyoming National bank,in .Stark's
Brick Block,
Life-size Portraits painted from Amb'otypee or
Phot ogrnphs Photographs Painted in Oil C< lors
All orders for paintings executed according to or- !
der, or no charge made,
ItT Instructions given in Drawing. Sketching. |
Portrait and Landscape Painting, in Oil or water ■
Colors, and in all branches of tho art,
Tunk , July 31, '67 -vgnso-tf.
The undersigned having lately purchased the
BUEHLER HOUSE " property, has already com
menced such alteration* and improvements as will
render this old and popular House equal, if not supe
rior, to any Hotel in the City of Harrisburg.
A continuance of the public patronage is refpect
fully solicited.
THIS establishment has recently been refitted an
furnished in the latest style Every attention
will be given to the comfort and convenience of those
who patronize the Houe.
T. B WALL, Owner and Proprietor - :
Tunkhannock, September 11. 1861.
Win. H. CORTRIGHT, Prop'r
HAVING resumed the proprietorship of the above
Hotel, the undersigned will pare no efforts
fender the house an agreeable place of sojourn to
all who may favor it with their custom.
June, 3rd, 1963
(Late oft.. BRAIXARI> Hons*, ELMIRA, NY
The MEANS HOTEL, i* one of the LARGEST
and BEST ARRANGED Houses in the country —It
is fitted up in the most modern and improved style
and no pains are spared to make it a pleasautand,
agreeablestoppngi p;ace for all,
TIIE subscriber offers for sale VERY CHEAP, an j
almost new Piauo Frame
Also, a lot of Household Furuiture at very low
For particulars inquire at the honse now occuj ied i
by the subrenber, formerly occupied by Henry Stark.
Tunkhannock, Jan. 20th, 1863024w4
JX V THE peculiar tiint or
A infection which we
FIV call SCROFULA lurks
y? in tlie constitutions of
'ah multitudes of men. It
J either produces or is
produced by an cn
, feebled, vitiated statu*
„ if t ' l ° blood, wherein
! jA-r' that fluid becomes in
jjpcL i to sustain
® ' vital forces in their
vigorous action, and
j —A%&^ the system to
fall into disorder and
decay. The scrofulous contamination is va
riously caused by men urial disease, low
livinjr. disordered digestion from unhealthy
! food, impure air, filth and filthy habits,
j the depressing vices, and, above all, l v
I the venereal infection. Whatever be its
origin, it is hereditary in the constitution,
1 descending '•from parents to children unto
the third and fourth generationindeed, it
seems to be the rod of Him who says, " I will
visit the iniquities of the fathers upon their
children." The diseases it originates take
various names, according to the organs it
attacks. In the lungs. Scrofula produces
tubercles, and finally Consumption y in the
glands, swellings which suppurate and be
come ulcerous sores; in the stomach and
bowels, derangements which produce indi
gestion, dyspepsia, ami liver complaints; on
i the skin, eruptive and cutaneous affections.
These, all having the same origin, require the
same remedy, viz., purification and invigora
tion of the blood, l'urify the Mood, anil
these dangerous distempers leave you. Willi
feeble, foul, or corrupted Mood, you cannot
have health; with that "life of the flesh"
he&ltliy, you cannot have scrofulous disease.
Ayor's Sarsaparilla
is compounded from the most effectual anti
dotes that medical science has discovered for
this atflii ting distemper, and fur the < irrc of
I the disorders it cntaiis. That it is far supe
rior to any other remedy yet devised, is
known bv all who have given it a trial. That
it docs combine virtues truly extraordinary
in their effect upon this class of complaints,
is indisputably proven by the great multitude
of publicly known and remarkable cures it
has made of the following diseases: Eing'fl
Evil, cr Glandular Swellings, Tu:ao;s,
Eruptions, Pimples, Blotches aul Sores,
Erysipehs, Rose cr St Anthony's Tire,
Salt Rheum, Scald Head, Coughs from
tuberculous deposits in the langs, White
Swellings, Debility, Dropsy. Neuralgia,
Dyspepsia or Indigestion, Syphilis and
Syphilitic Infections, Mercurial Diseases
Female Weaknesses ami- 1 d, the who'e
series of complaints thatr.ri.-o lioui impurity
of the blood. Minute rop< :?* of individr. 1
cases ma} - be found in AU.H'S A\;.K;C\V
AL.MANVC, which is furnished to the ih I:: *1 ts
for gratuitous distribution, wherein n : y le
learned the directions for its use, and some
of the remarkable cures which if 1..- na.de
when all other remedies had ! ih dto ::i rd
relief. Those cases are jurpo.-ely t. hen
front all sections of the countiy. in culcr
that every reader may l ave access to s< : :c
one v. ho can speak to l:im .f its benefits fnaa
perst mil expericra c. Scrofula <h pres-es the
vital energies, and thus leaves its victims far
more subject to disease and its fatal results
than are healthy constitutions. Hence it
finds to shorten, and docs greatly shorn n.
the average dur:;ti< n of human life-. '1 he
vast inqxirtanee of the e considi rations J.as
led us to spend years in perfecting a remedy
which is adequate to its cure, 'llus we- row
offer to the public under the name of Av i:n's
M AKSATARILI.A, although it is c mposesl <>f
. ingredients, some of which exceed the bc.-t
of Sanuparit/a in alterative power. Ily its
aid you may protect your.- e-lf fro - : the inffe r
ing and danger of the se disorders, l'urge
out the foul corruptions that r t and fester
in the Mood, purge* out the tause s of disease,
and vigorous health w ill follow. liy its pecu
liar virtue s this remedy stimulates the vital
functions, and tints c.\p< Is the di-tempcrs
which lutk will in the system or I urst out
on nry part of it.
We know the pt:! lie 1 ",vc 1 a n iU -reived
ly many compounds <-t" ty-r. ayari.'la, that
jaomi-ed mucli and del notl.in •; last they
will neither be deceived nor di ..pjnintcd in
this. Its virtues have been provt n by abun
dant trial, ami there* remains no question < f
its surpassing excellence for the cure of tl
afflicting diseases it is intended to reach.
Although under the same name, it is a very
different medicine from any other which h. -
la*cn before tlie pco; le, and is far more ef
fectual than any other which has ever been
available to the an.
Tho World's Great Remedy for
Coughs, Cold. c , Incipient Con
sumption, and i'or the relief
of Consumptive patients
in advanced stages
of tho disease.
This has been so long used and so uni
versally known, that we* need do no more
than assure the public that its quality is k> pi
up to the lx*st it ever has been, and that it
may la* relied on to do nil it lias ever done.
Prepared by I)R. J. C. AVF.U & Co.,
Practical and Analytical Chcmist\
Lowell. Mass.
Sold by all druggists every w here.
For sale byßunaell i, Bannutyne, and Lyman A
Whlls, Tunkhanno< k. Sterling A Son, Meshoppcn,
Stevens A Aekley, Laceyville, Frear, I'san A Co,
Factoryvilie, and all Druggists and Decisis in med
cines, everywhere.
Howard Association Reports, for YOUNG
MEN on the CRIME OF SOLITUDE, and tho ER
RORS, ABUSES and DISEASES which destroy the
manlv powers, and create impediments to .MAR
RIAGE, with sure means of relief. Sent in sealed
letter, envelopes, free of charge. Address Dr J.
SKILI.EN HOUGHTON, Howard Association,
Philadelphia. I'a.
6n44 - lyear*
William Flickner,
At IIWA'JIAA'A'OCA', Tenn'a.
Who has the exclusive right for Wyoming county, is
one of the very few Machines that will cut Hay.
Straw. Stalks, <*c., better than the old fashioned
Cutting boxes, used by our grandfathers.
Those who value tuue and labor: and would avoid
a needles- loss of both, in feeding their stock, should
get one of these improved Cutters.
No man ever found anything better ; or ever went
hack to the old machine alter a trial of it.
A Supply Constantly on Hand
and for sale.
lunkhaiuiGCk, Dec. 2, 1377v7nldtf.
[From the Scrauton City Journal]
I have questioned I have queried,
Soul of mine, till I am wearied ;
Pondered many a day, and wondered, with an un
disguised desire.
As the stately suns sank slowly to their western
couch of fire, —
And the lardy twilights lingered till the midnight
moons climbed higher,
If the gods—with gifts o'erflowiug
In their rich and rare bestowing,
Should but offer, should but proffer one among the
Love, or Fame, or Gold, unstinted, which of all tby
choice should be 1
Which could rouse thee into waking
From tlie dumb and dreary aching—
From the sorrow of to-morrow, or the grieving of to
From the stupor and the torpor, wearing tby sweet
life away ;
Love, or Fame, or Gold, oh answer, which the court
ed guerdon, say 1
Gold ! a wondrous wizard, surely,
Shining in the dark so purely,—
Luring willing souls to loudness, with its glamour,
ttith its gl ire
Cla-ping gemmed and jeweled baubles 'round each
skeleton of care,
1 Till their ghasttiness break lightly into beauty ev
erywhere :
Gold the tempter ! oh the treasurers
It should buy thee, and the pleasurers ;
Delicate and dainty offerings from a bundled spicy
Isles, —
Adulation from tho many, and bewilderment of
smiles :
Dreams too beautiful should woo thee—
9b->uld puisne, perchance undo thee ;
Every star should glow a promise, every bud on
Bower, and tree,
Flush with hope's unspoken splendor, fleeting,cheat
ing, though it be •
Deign re.-qxinse, oh sou! of silenco. which the tempt
ing gift for thee !
Or if gold yet lack the power
To beguile life's little hour —
j If its glitter fail to charm thee, or thy being would'st
not crave
What,the Wi rl'i's great thousands toil tor, moil for,
• to the last a slave.
Till the wild unrest sink breathless to an uncom
pl.lining grave.
Yonder, like a fire-fly dancing,
Now retrenting,jnow advancing,
, fn and out the hazy shadows with a grace 'twere
sweet to name,
Raaiant gaiiand* deftly wreathing waits the gifted
goddess—Fame ;
Many a soul hath drained the chalice
Fuaiuing iu her glittering palace—
Many another knelt iu rapture but to press her gar
ment's hem, •
Or to grasp the pearl dissevereJ from her peerless
diadem :
Love, or Fame, or Gold, unmeasured, soul of sad
ness, which of them !
Yet no flutter, yet no waking
From the dumb aud dreary aching—
From the sorrow of to-morrow, or the grieving of to
From tho stupor and the torpor, wearing thy sweet
life away,
What shall rouse thee, what shall *ave thee from
this wastiug slumber, pray 7 *
Love it must be—thought hntb guessed it,
For a sigh of thine expressed it,
And a stirful throbbing crecpcth through each limp
and languid veiD,
Till the ruddy life-tide ieapeth swiftly on its course
again ,*
Though thy pride so silent made thee,
Love's .weet meutiou hath betrayed thee ; ]
Gold may dash thy sky with rainbows where its
meteors flash aud fall
F'ame may hold thee and enfold thee in her fascinat
ing thrall,
But'lis love's magnetic mystery that enslaves thee
mure than all.
Ere last year's moon had left the sky,
A birdling sought my Indian nest,
And folded, oh so lovingly !
Her tiny wings upon my breast.
From morn till evening's purple tinge,
In w'Rsotne helplessness sue lies,
Two rose leaves, with a silken fringe,
Shut softly ou her starry eyes.
There's not in Ind. a lovlier bird ;
Broad earth owns not a happier Dest;
Ob, God, tbeu hast a fountain stirred,
YYbose waters never more shall rest ;
This beautiful, mysterious thing,
This seeming visitant from heaven,
This bir-l with the immortal wing,
To me -to me, Thy hand has given.
The pulse first caught its tiny stroke,
The blood its crimson hue, from mine,
This life, which I have dared invoke,
Henceforth is parallel with thin.*.
A Bilent awe is in my room —
I tremble with delicious fear ;
The future, with its light and gloom,
Time and Eternity are here.
Doubts—hopes, in eager tumult rise ;
Hear, Oh my God ! one earnest prayer : '
Room fo. - my bird in Paradise,
And give her augel plumage there !
INFANTILE INNOCENCE— "Papa, didn't you J
whip tne once for biting little Tummy V
"Yes, my dear ; you hurt him very much.
"Well, then, Papa, you ought to whip sis
ter's music master, too ; he bit sister yester
day afternoon right on the inouth. and I
know it hurt hur, because she put her aims
AROUND bis NPDT AOTI tried to QHUKU him. '
" To Speak his Thoughts is Every Freeman's Right. "
"And so you want to marry my daugh
ter, young man,"' said farmer Blivens, re
moving the pipe from his month, and look
ll.g at the young fellow sharply from head
to toe.
Despite his tather indolent, effeminate
air. which was mainly the result of his ed
ucation, Luke Jordan was a fine-looking
f llow, and easily moved from his self pos
SI ssion ; but he colored and grew confused
beneath that sharp, scrutini'.-ng look.
" Yes, sir. I spoke to Miss Mary last
evening, and she — referred me to you."
The old man's face softened.
"Molly is a good girl, a very good girl,"
| he said, stroking his chin, with a thonght-
J ful air, " and she deserves a good husband.
What can you do ?"
The young man looked rather blank at
I this abrupt inquiry.
" If you refer to my ability to support a
I wife, 1 can assure you "
" I know that you are a rich man, Luke
1 Jordan ; but I take it for granted you ask
! my girl to marry you, not your property. —
What guarantee can you give me, in case
! it should he swept away — as it is in thou
sands of instances — that you could provide
for her a comfortable home? You have
hands and brains — do you know how to
use them ? Again I ask, what can you
This was a style of catechism for whicli
1 Luke was quite unprepared, and he stared
blankly at the questioner without speak
" I believe you managed to get through
college — have you any profession }"
" No, sir; I thought "
" Have you any trade?"
" No, sir; my father thought that, with
the wealth I sliouid inherit, I should not
need any."
" Your father thought like a fool, then.
He'd much better have given you some
honest occupation and cut you off with a
shilling ; it might have been the making
of you. As it is, what are you fit for? —
Here you arc. a strong, able-bodied young
man, twenty-four years ol I, and never
earned a dollar in your life! You ought
to be ashamed of yourself."
" And you want to marry my daughter,"
resumed the old man. after a few vigorous
puffs at his pipe. " Now, I've given Mol
ly AS good advantages for learning as any
girl in town, and she hasn't thrown 'em
away ; but if she didn't know how to work j
she'd be no daughter of mine. If I choose
I could keep more than one servant, but I
don't no more than I choose that mv
daughter <diould be a pale spiritless crea
ture, full of dyspepsia and all manner of
fine lady ailments, instead of the smiling,
bright-eyed, rosy-cheeked lass she is. I
I did say that she should marry no lad
that had been cursed with a rich father;
but she's taken a foolish liking to ye, and
111 tell ye what I'll do ; go to work and
prove yourself to he a man ; perfect your
self in some occupation —l don't care what,
so it be honest ; then come to me, and if
the girl is willing, she is yours."
As the old man said this, lie deliberately
knocked the ashes out of his pipe aga.nst
one of the pillars of the porch where he
was standing, tucked it into his vest pock
et, and went into the house
Pretty Mary Bliven was waiting to see
her lover down at the garden gate, their
usual trysting place. The smiling light
faded from her eyes as she noticed his so
ber, discomfited look.
" Father means well," as Luke told her
the result of his application.
" And I'm not sure but what he is about
right, for it seems to me that every man,
be he rich or poor, ought to have some oc
Then, as she noticed her lover's giavc
look, she added softly :
" Never mind, I'll wait for you, Luke."
Luke Jordan suddenly disappeared from
his accustomed haunt, much to the sur
prise of his gay associates. But, wherever
lie vent, he carried with him in his exile
these words, and which were a tower of
strength to his soul, " I'll wait for you,
One pleasant sunshiny morning, late in
October, as fanner Blivens was propping
up the grape-vine in his front yard, that
threatened to break down with the weight
of its luxurious burden, a neat-looking cart
drove up, from which Luke Jordan alight
ed, with a quick, elastic spring, quite in
contrast with his former easy, liesurely
"Good morning, Mr. Blivens, I under
stood that you wanted to buy some butter
tubs and cider- barrels. I think I have
some that will suit you."
" Whose make are they ?" inquired the
old man, as opeuing the gate he passed by
the wagon.
" Mine," replied Luke, with an air of
pardonable pride ; " and I challenge any
cooper in the State to beat them."
Air. Blivens examined them critically,
one by one.
" They'll do, he said, coolly, A9 he set
down the last of the lot. " What will you
take for them ?"
j " What I asked you for six months ago
! to-day — your daughter, sir "
The roguish twinkle in the old man's
eyes broadened into a sinile.
j " You've got the right metal in you af
ter all," he cried. " Come in, lad — come
in. I shouldn't wonder if we made a trade
after all."
Nothing loth, Luke obeyed.
"Molly !" said Mr. Blivens, thrusting
his head into the kit-hen door.
Molly tripped out into the entry. The
tound, white arms were bared above the
elbow, and bore traces of the tlour she
had been sifting. Her dress was a neat
gingham, over which was tied a blue
checked apron ; but she looked as winning |
and lovely a 0 she a ways did whortver she j
WAS found.
She blushed and tmiied as she saw Luke, |
and then turning her eyes upon her father,
waited dutifully to hear what he had to j
The old man regarded his daughter for j
a moment with a quizzical look.
" Molly, this young man mayhap |
you've seen him before— lias brought me
a lot of tubs and barrels, ail of his own i
make —A right good article, too. lie asks
a pretty steep price for 'em ; but if you
are willing to give it, well and good ; and |
hark ye, my girl, whatever bargain you
make your father will ratify."
As Mr. Blivens said this, he consider
ately stepped out of the room, and we will
follow his example. But t.he kind of a
bargain the young people made can readi
ly be conjectured by the speedy wedding
which followed."
A Lady's Opinion of a Lady's Man.
Mrs. Stephens, in her monthly maga
zine, gives a certain class of men, the like
of whom are seen in every community, the
benefit of her opinion as follows :
Our own private opinion on the "lady's
man" is, that HO is thoroughly contempti
ble—A sort of a life hardly worth thinking
about —A nut shell with the kernel wither
ed up —A handful of foam drifting over the
wine of life — something not altogether un
pleasant to the fancy, but of no earthly
use. A woman of sense would as soon be
put to sea in a man-of-war made of shin
gles, or take up her residence in a card
house, as dream of attaching herself to a
lady-killer. Women worth the name are
seldom deceived into thinking our lady's
man the choicest specimen of his sex.—
Whatever their ignorance may be, woman
ly intuition must tell that the men who live
for a great object, and whose spirits are so
firmly knit that they are able to encounter
the storms of life—men whose depth and
warmth of feeling resemble the powerful
current of a mighty river, and not the bub
bles on its surface — who, if they love, are
never smitten by mere beauty of form or
features — that these m*-n are more worthy
even of occupying their thoughts in idle
moments than the fops and men about
town, with whose attentions they amuse
themselves. If we were to tell him this
he would only laugh ; he has no pride
about him, although full of vanity, and it
matters not to him what we broadly affirm
or quietly insinuate. Soft and delicate
though he be, he as impervious to ridicule
as a hod-carrier, and as regardless of hon
est contempt as a city-alderman. Were
you to hand him this article, he would take
it to some social party anJ read it aloud,
tn the most mellifluous voice, as a homage
to his own attractions.
Men of America.
The greatest, man, him for all in
all," of the last hundred years, was George
Washington, an American.
The greatest metaphysician was Jona
than Edwards, an American.
The greatest natural philosopher was
Benjamin Franklin, an American
The greatest of living sculptors is niram
Poweis, an American.
The greatest writer on law, in the Eng
lish language for the present century, was
Judge Story, an American.
The greatest orators ever lived were Clay,
Calhoun, and Webster, all Americans.
The greatest of living historians are
George Bancroft, and Win. M. L'rescott,
both Americans.
The greatest ornithologist is John James
Audubon, an American.
There has been no English writer in the
present age whose works have been mark
ed with more humor, more refinement, or
more grace, than those of Washington Ir
vin, an American.
The greatest lexicographer and philolo
gist, since the time of Johnston, was Noah
Webster, an American.
The inventors, whose works have been
productive of the greatest amount of hap
piness to mankind in the last century, were
Godfrey, Fitch, Fulton, and Whitney, all
Leap Year.
The Almanac makers inform ns that the
year 1808 is especially set apart for the
ladies — the unmarried portion we mean
who, by time-honored custom and conces
sion, are entitled to do a good many things
this year, that they are denied on any oth
er. They have the right to ask their " fel
ler" to take a sleigh ride, go to a concert,
or to church ; they have the right to draw
" their weasel" and pay the bills ; and
more, they have the right to do the court
ing, to put their arms around a piece of
corduroy, and even " pop the question."
This is nice, it is pleasant to hear the
idol of your heart in tremulous tones, say,
" Dear Augustus, adored ol my heart, the
bright star of my future life, the sun-beam
of my waking hours, say, oh ! say, wilt
thou be mine, be all thine own dear Penne
lope Ann's ?" And then to hear the bash
ful swain, holding his cambric, scented
with the flavor ot a thousand flowers, or a
skunk's cabbage, simper out " Ask par and
mar !"
Shaw ! we can't do the subject justice,
and will let Corry O'Lanus speak tor us,
he knows all about such things, and he's
just got married.
It is leap year.
Of which fact I wish to remind the la
There is a division of opinion as to the
right of a woman to vote, but there can be
DO question as to her right to a husband,
if she can get one.
i Now is her time.
But I woffd advise voting ladies not to
j be rash.
Although it is leap year, you had better
look before you leap.
Because if you get a husband, and he
' don't suit you, you can't change him for a
; better one, at least, without going to Cbi-
J cago.
There are several considerations to fee
observed in the selection of a husband.
Looks are a matter of taste :— size, com
plexion aud color of whiskers may be left
to individual taste.
They are of less consequence than dis
position or pecuniary resources.
Particularly the resources.
I wouldn t advise any young woman to
marry a man who would expect her to
support them.
It is not a fair thing on - the old gentle
man, wfio has been looking forward to the
marriage of bis daughter as a happy release
from milliner's bills.
Never disappoint your parents.
Young ladies need not inquire too par
ticularly whether the man of their choice
; belongs to a lodge, which meets four nights
j in a week.
She will find that out after they are mar
| ried.
Husbands, like other domestic animals,
j when eaught young can sometimes be
! trained to do a good many useful things.
I They have even been known to get up in
the morning and light the fire when the
girl has gone away.
There are some professions not advisa
ble to marry into.
Such AS editors for they never get rich.
Or politicians who aic not satisfied with
one wife, but are always getting wedded :
to their country, and like most bigamists j
abuse both their wives.
But as the great object is to get a hus
band, and AS the supply is limited, it may |
not do to be too particular.
walketh with wise men shall be wise; but
a companion of fools shall be destroyed."
It is said to be a property of the tieefrog
that it acquires the color of whatever it ad
heres to for a short time. Thus, when
found on growing corn, it is commonly a
dark green. If found on white oak, it has
the color peculiar to that tree. Just so!
it is with a man. Tell me whom you ;
chosen as your companions, and I will tell
who you are. Do you love the society of
the vulgar ? Then you are like them in
your sentiments. Do you seek the society
of the profane ? In your heart you are
like them. Are jesters and buffoons your
cboiee friends ? He who loves to laugh at
lolly is himself a fool, and probably a very
stupid one too. Do you love to seek the
society of the wise and good ? Is this your
habit ? Would you rather take the lowest
place among them than the highest among
others ? Then you have already learned
to be wise and good. You may have made
much progress, but even a good beginning
is not to be dispised Hold on your way,
and seek to be the companion of all that
fear God. So you shall be wise for your
itself and wise in eternity.
It is a curious fact, that if a mail is lost
in the woods and continues walking, he
will invariably go round in a circle, con
stantly veering to the left Land. It is be
cause the right side of every human body
(except in the case of lett-hauded people)
is more developed than the left. Conse
quently the muscles on that side are
strongest, and tend gradauliy throw the
whole body round, unlesss the aim is direct
ed to some particular point.
seldom necessary to file off a ring which is
too tight to readily pass the joint of the fin
ger. If the finger is swollen apply cold
water to reduce the inflammation, then
wrap a small rag wet in hot water around
the ring to expand the metal, and soap
the finger. A needle threaded with
strong silk can then be passed between the
ring and the finger, and a person holding
the two ends and pulling the silk while
slowly sliding it arouud the periphery of
the ring may readily remove the ring. If
the ring is a plain hoop this process is easy;
if it has a setting or protuberance more
care will be required. Another method is
to pass a piece of sewing silk under the ring
and wind the thread, in pretty close spirals
and snugly around the linger to the end.
Then take the lower end — that below the
ring — aud begin unwinding. The ring is
certain to be removed unless the silk is
very weak. The winding compresses the
finger and renders the operation less diffi
makes the fallowing sensible remarks:
"There are many people in the world
who make it a business to sponge the read
ing of their county paper without any ex
pense to themselves. This has often been
noticed and commented upon. They are
found where ever the paper is left—lN a
shop, office, store or barber shop — and of
ten borrow it before the owner has an op
portunity of raising it from the table. This
is done by very many who are abundantly
able, and whose dnty would seem to be to
sustain their Oounty paper by subscribing
and 'paying for the same.' "
£G*CUFFY said he'd rather die in a rail
road smash up than a steamboat burst up
for tn is reason If yon gets offand sma.-h
-cd up, dar vou is! bnt if you gets blow ed np
OO tho boat, whar i you ? "
TERMS, $2.00 Per. ANNUM, in Advance
J pise ant)
| After the clergyman had united a happy
, ps'r> not long ago, au awful silence ensued,
; which was broken by an impatient youth
. | exclaiming : ' Don't be so unspeakably hap
■ py "
So much whisky is drunk in Chicago that
thousands of mosquitos have died of deleriuin
tremens after biting Chicago citizens.
A thief was lalaly caught breaking into a
song. He had already got through the first
bars, when a policeman came up and hit him
with a stave.
The following notice might have been seen
some time ago, stuck up in a corset maker's
showwindow in Glasgow : "All aorts of la
dies stays here."
Rhyming lovers generally woo their sweet
hearts in such wretched verse that it is no
wonder so many of them are jilted.
Grey hairs, like honest friends, are pluck
out and cast aside for telling unpleasant
Laziness begins in cobwebs and ends in
iron chains. It creeps over a mad so slowly
and imperceptibly, that he is bound tight be
fore he knows it. *
Throw a piece of meat among bears, and a
purse of gold among men, and which will bes
have the most outrageously—the men or the
beasts 7
A quaker makes pleasure of his business
and then for relaxation makes a business of
his pleasure.
An Arkansas traveler says he knew a
young fellow down South, who was so fond
of a young woman that he rubbed off his
• nose kissing her shadow on the wall.
I Some sensible bhafl says, truly, that a per
! son Who undertakes to raise himself by scan
dalizing others, might as well sit down on a
wheel barrow, and undertake to wheel him
A wag, on being asked what ho bad for
dinner, replied, "A lean wife, and the ruin of
a man for sauce." llis dinner consisted of a
j spare-rid of pork and apple sauce.
Why is the clock the most modest piece of
furniture 1 Because it covers its face with its
hands and runs down its own works.
"Mother," said a little square-built .boy,
about five years old, ''why don't the teacher
make me monitor sometimes 7 I can lick ev
ery boy in my class but one."
"Captain, what's the faro to St. Louis 7"—
"What part of the boat do yon wifb logo in,
cabin or deck V' "Ilang your cabin,'' said
the gentleman from Indiana, "I live in a cab*
in at home ; give u\e the best you've got."
Another relic of the classic age has been
found in St. Louts, being a dog's collar, sup
posed to have belong to /ulius Caesar, from
the fact of having his name engraved on it !
A SEXSIDI.E WlFE. —'Pray, tell tne, .roy
dear, what is the cause of those tears 7"
"Oh, such disgrace ! I have opened one of
your letters spupnsing it to be addressed to
mysely. Certainly it looks more tike Mrs.
than Mr.
"Is that all ? What harm ran there be in
a wife's opening a husband's letter ?"
"But the contents !—Such disgrace ?"
"What ! has any one dared to write me a
letter unfit for my wife to read ?"
"Oh, no—it is couched in the most chaste
language. But the disgrace 1"
"Disgrace 1" Here the husbauJ caught up
the letter, and commenced reading the epistle
that had giveu so much uneasiness to hia
Readers, you could not guess the cause in
a coon's age. Tt was no otherjthan a bill from
a printer for nine years' subscription.
The "disgrace" was wiped out almost im
Artemus Ward was out late one night.—
Here is his account of his return home.
"It was late when I returned home. The
children and my wife were all abed. But a
candle—a candle made from taller of my own
rasin'—gleamed In Betsy's room. It gleam
ed for I ! All was still. Tbe sweet silver
moon was shinin' brite, and the beautiful
stars was up to their usual doifts ! I felt ft
sentimental mood still so gently o' rme
stealing', and I pawsed before Betsy's win
der, and sung in a kind of operatic vois as toi
lers, impromtoo tu wit:
Wake, Betsy, wake,
My sweet galoot 7
Rise up fair lady,
While I toot my lute !
The Winder—l regret to say that the win
der went np wtth a violent crash, and a form
in spotless white exclaimed, "Cum into the
house you old fool. To-morrer you'll begoin'
round complainin' about your liver."
No wonder that Weston is a good walker.
It turns out that he used tu be collector for ft
NO. 27.