fDpmitg Democrat. HARVEY SICKLER, Publisher. VOL. VTI. Ppming prinornil. A Democratic weekly _ paper devoted to Poll .. J ties News, the Arts and Sciences Ac. Pub- "" . lished every We dues day, at Tunkhannock H|l /Tr*>. f f -v Wyoming County.Pa t |mN LJ J BY HARVEY SICKIER Terms —1 copy 1 year, (in advance) 82, BO; if Mt paid within six.months, 2.50 will be charged NO paper will be DISCONTINUED, until all ar yavr-igcsre paid; unless at the option of publisher. RATES OF "ADVERTISING. TEN LINES CONSTITUTE A SQUARE. One square one or three insertions $1,50 Every subsequent iosenion less than 9 50 REALESTATO. PERSONAL PROPERTY, and GENERAL ADVERTISING, as may be agreed upon. PATENT MEDICINES and other advertisements oy the column : One column, 1 year, 860 Half column, I year--- 35 Third column, 1 year, 25 Fourth column, 1 year, 20 Rusliicss Cards of one square or less, per year With paper, -SB. rr EDITORIAL or LOCAL ITEM ad verfising—with out Advertisement —15 cts. per line. Liberal terms made with permanent advertisers. EXECUTORS, ADMINISTRATORS and AUDI TOR'S NOTICES, of the usual length, $2,50 OBITUARIE-*,- exceeding ten tin- s, each ; RELI GIOUS and LITERARY NOTICES, not of general nterest, one half tne regular rates. vertisemrn's must be handed in by TUES DAV NOON, to insure insertion the same week. JOB WORK of all kinds neatly executed and at prices to suit the times. All TRANSIENT ADVERTISEMENTS and JOB WORK must be paid for, when ordered- B mines Mot ices. K" R.A W ELITTI.E ATTORNEYS AT LAW Office cn Tioga Street TukkMMck t'u Hg. COOPEK, PHYSICIAN A SURGEON • Newton Centre, I.uxerno County Pa. 01,, I'AKIHSII, ATTORNEY AT LAW • Offi-e at the Court House, in Tunkhannock Wyoming Co. Pa UJ M. M. PIATT. ATTORNEY AT LAW of fice in Stark's Brick Block Tioga St., Tunk nannock, Pa. T4. a CflP i E, ATTORNEY AND COUNSEL LOK AT LAW, Nicholson, Wyoming Co*, I'.ie Es r ecial attention given to settlement ol dec. J dent's estates Nicholson, Pa. Dec 5, l c (j~ —v7n!9yl >V. iloAWi PHYSH IIN - • N • will atteml prumj'tly to nil MIIS in hiaj ro feision. May be found at Li- Ofll.-e at tlie Drug Srore, or at his residence on Putui in Srect, formerly occupied by A. K. Peckham Esq. DENTISTRY. ■ *y g- v ; DR. L. T. BURNS has permanently located in Tunkhannock Bon.ugh, and respectfully tenders his professional services to its citizens. | Office on second floor, formerly occupied by Dr. . uilmao. vbnSOtf. PORTRAIT, 'LANDSCAPE, JLHEWTSII X 1 ATLVTXDVG 7Jy V. Hl r Gh'R, Artist. Rooms over the Wyoming National bank,in .Stark's Brick Block, TUNKHANNOCK, I'A. Life-size Portraits painted from Amb'otypee or Phot ogrnphs Photographs Painted in Oil C< lors All orders for paintings executed according to or- ! der, or no charge made, ItT Instructions given in Drawing. Sketching. | Portrait and Landscape Painting, in Oil or water ■ Colors, and in all branches of tho art, Tunk , July 31, '67 -vgnso-tf. BOLTON HOUSE. HAHiIISHU HO f PEN'NA. The undersigned having lately purchased the BUEHLER HOUSE " property, has already com menced such alteration* and improvements as will render this old and popular House equal, if not supe rior, to any Hotel in the City of Harrisburg. A continuance of the public patronage is refpect fully solicited. GEO. J. BOLTON* WALL'S HOTEL, LATE AMERICAN HOUSE/ TU MKHAMNOCK, WYOMING CO., PA. THIS establishment has recently been refitted an furnished in the latest style Every attention will be given to the comfort and convenience of those who patronize the Houe. T. B WALL, Owner and Proprietor - : Tunkhannock, September 11. 1861. NORTH BRANCH HOTEL, MESHOPPEN, WYOMING COUNTY", PA Win. H. CORTRIGHT, Prop'r HAVING resumed the proprietorship of the above Hotel, the undersigned will pare no efforts fender the house an agreeable place of sojourn to all who may favor it with their custom. Wm.H CORTRIGHT. June, 3rd, 1963 MEANS' HOTEL. TOWANDA, 3P-A.. T* B. BART LET, (Late oft.. BRAIXARI> Hons*, ELMIRA, NY PROPRIETOR. The MEANS HOTEL, i* one of the LARGEST and BEST ARRANGED Houses in the country —It is fitted up in the most modern and improved style and no pains are spared to make it a pleasautand, agreeablestoppngi p;ace for all, 211yv3-u. ME GOD EON FOR MA I.E. TIIE subscriber offers for sale VERY CHEAP, an j almost new Piauo Frame SIX OCTAVE MELODEON. Also, a lot of Household Furuiture at very low prices For particulars inquire at the honse now occuj ied i by the subrenber, formerly occupied by Henry Stark. A G. STARK. Tunkhannock, Jan. 20th, 1863024w4 JX V THE peculiar tiint or A infection which we FIV call SCROFULA lurks y? in tlie constitutions of 'ah multitudes of men. It J either produces or is produced by an cn , feebled, vitiated statu* „ if t ' l ° blood, wherein ! jA-r' that fluid becomes in jjpcL i to sustain ® ' vital forces in their vigorous action, and j —A%&^ the system to fall into disorder and decay. The scrofulous contamination is va riously caused by men urial disease, low livinjr. disordered digestion from unhealthy ! food, impure air, filth and filthy habits, j the depressing vices, and, above all, l v I the venereal infection. Whatever be its origin, it is hereditary in the constitution, 1 descending '•from parents to children unto the third and fourth generationindeed, it seems to be the rod of Him who says, " I will visit the iniquities of the fathers upon their children." The diseases it originates take various names, according to the organs it attacks. In the lungs. Scrofula produces tubercles, and finally Consumption y in the glands, swellings which suppurate and be come ulcerous sores; in the stomach and bowels, derangements which produce indi gestion, dyspepsia, ami liver complaints; on i the skin, eruptive and cutaneous affections. These, all having the same origin, require the same remedy, viz., purification and invigora tion of the blood, l'urify the Mood, anil these dangerous distempers leave you. Willi feeble, foul, or corrupted Mood, you cannot have health; with that "life of the flesh" he<liy, you cannot have scrofulous disease. Ayor's Sarsaparilla is compounded from the most effectual anti dotes that medical science has discovered for this atflii ting distemper, and fur the < irrc of I the disorders it cntaiis. That it is far supe rior to any other remedy yet devised, is known bv all who have given it a trial. That it docs combine virtues truly extraordinary in their effect upon this class of complaints, is indisputably proven by the great multitude of publicly known and remarkable cures it has made of the following diseases: Eing'fl Evil, cr Glandular Swellings, Tu:ao;s, Eruptions, Pimples, Blotches aul Sores, Erysipehs, Rose cr St Anthony's Tire, Salt Rheum, Scald Head, Coughs from tuberculous deposits in the langs, White Swellings, Debility, Dropsy. Neuralgia, Dyspepsia or Indigestion, Syphilis and Syphilitic Infections, Mercurial Diseases Female Weaknesses ami- 1 d, the who'e series of complaints thatr.ri.-o lioui impurity of the blood. Minute rop< :?* of individr. 1 cases ma} - be found in AU.H'S A\;.K;C\V AL.MANVC, which is furnished to the ih I:: *1 ts for gratuitous distribution, wherein n : y le learned the directions for its use, and some of the remarkable cures which if 1..- na.de when all other remedies had ! ih dto ::i rd relief. Those cases are jurpo.-ely t. hen front all sections of the countiy. in culcr that every reader may l ave access to s< : :c one v. ho can speak to l:im .f its benefits fnaa perst mil expericra c. Scrofula <h pres-es the vital energies, and thus leaves its victims far more subject to disease and its fatal results than are healthy constitutions. Hence it finds to shorten, and docs greatly shorn n. the average dur:;ti< n of human life-. '1 he vast inqxirtanee of the e considi rations J.as led us to spend years in perfecting a remedy which is adequate to its cure, 'llus we- row offer to the public under the name of Av i:n's M AKSATARILI.A, although it is c mposesl <>f . ingredients, some of which exceed the bc.-t of Sanuparit/a in alterative power. Ily its aid you may protect your.- e-lf fro - : the inffe r ing and danger of the se disorders, l'urge out the foul corruptions that r t and fester in the Mood, purge* out the tause s of disease, and vigorous health w ill follow. liy its pecu liar virtue s this remedy stimulates the vital functions, and tints c.\p< Is the di-tempcrs which lutk will in the system or I urst out on nry part of it. We know the pt:! lie 1 ",vc 1 a n iU -reived ly many compounds <-t" ty-r. ayari.'la, that jaomi-ed mucli and del notl.in •; last they will neither be deceived nor di ..pjnintcd in this. Its virtues have been provt n by abun dant trial, ami there* remains no question < f its surpassing excellence for the cure of tl afflicting diseases it is intended to reach. Although under the same name, it is a very different medicine from any other which h. - la*cn before tlie pco; le, and is far more ef fectual than any other which has ever been available to the an. CHERRY PECTORAL. Tho World's Great Remedy for Coughs, Cold. c , Incipient Con sumption, and i'or the relief of Consumptive patients in advanced stages of tho disease. This has been so long used and so uni versally known, that we* need do no more than assure the public that its quality is k> pi up to the lx*st it ever has been, and that it may la* relied on to do nil it lias ever done. Prepared by I)R. J. C. AVF.U & Co., Practical and Analytical Chcmist\ Lowell. Mass. Sold by all druggists every w here. For sale byßunaell i, Bannutyne, and Lyman A Whlls, Tunkhanno< k. Sterling A Son, Meshoppcn, Stevens A Aekley, Laceyville, Frear, I'san A Co, Factoryvilie, and all Druggists and Decisis in med cines, everywhere. THE HEALING POOL, AND HOUSE OF MERCY. Howard Association Reports, for YOUNG MEN on the CRIME OF SOLITUDE, and tho ER RORS, ABUSES and DISEASES which destroy the manlv powers, and create impediments to .MAR RIAGE, with sure means of relief. Sent in sealed letter, envelopes, free of charge. Address Dr J. SKILI.EN HOUGHTON, Howard Association, Philadelphia. I'a. 6n44 - lyear* THE UNXON STRAW CUTTER, MANUFACTURED BY William Flickner, At IIWA'JIAA'A'OCA', Tenn'a. Who has the exclusive right for Wyoming county, is one of the very few Machines that will cut Hay. Straw. Stalks, <*c., better than the old fashioned Cutting boxes, used by our grandfathers. Those who value tuue and labor: and would avoid a needles- loss of both, in feeding their stock, should get one of these improved Cutters. No man ever found anything better ; or ever went hack to the old machine alter a trial of it. A Supply Constantly on Hand and for sale. WM FLICKNER. lunkhaiuiGCk, Dec. 2, 1377v7nldtf. TUNKHANNOCK, WYOMING CO., PA. -WEDNESDAY, FEB. 12, 1868. Hflfttg. [From the Scrauton City Journal] THE SOUL S REPLY. BT* STELLA, OF LACKAWANNA. I have questioned I have queried, Soul of mine, till I am wearied ; Pondered many a day, and wondered, with an un disguised desire. As the stately suns sank slowly to their western couch of fire, — And the lardy twilights lingered till the midnight moons climbed higher, If the gods—with gifts o'erflowiug In their rich and rare bestowing, Should but offer, should but proffer one among the magic.three, Love, or Fame, or Gold, unstinted, which of all tby choice should be 1 Which could rouse thee into waking From tlie dumb and dreary aching— From the sorrow of to-morrow, or the grieving of to day, From the stupor and the torpor, wearing tby sweet life away ; Love, or Fame, or Gold, oh answer, which the court ed guerdon, say 1 Gold ! a wondrous wizard, surely, Shining in the dark so purely,— Luring willing souls to loudness, with its glamour, ttith its gl ire Cla-ping gemmed and jeweled baubles 'round each skeleton of care, 1 Till their ghasttiness break lightly into beauty ev erywhere : Gold the tempter ! oh the treasurers It should buy thee, and the pleasurers ; Delicate and dainty offerings from a bundled spicy Isles, — Adulation from tho many, and bewilderment of smiles : Dreams too beautiful should woo thee— 9b->uld puisne, perchance undo thee ; Every star should glow a promise, every bud on Bower, and tree, Flush with hope's unspoken splendor, fleeting,cheat ing, though it be • Deign re.-qxinse, oh sou! of silenco. which the tempt ing gift for thee ! Or if gold yet lack the power To beguile life's little hour — j If its glitter fail to charm thee, or thy being would'st not crave What,the Wi rl'i's great thousands toil tor, moil for, • to the last a slave. Till the wild unrest sink breathless to an uncom pl.lining grave. Yonder, like a fire-fly dancing, Now retrenting,jnow advancing, , fn and out the hazy shadows with a grace 'twere sweet to name, Raaiant gaiiand* deftly wreathing waits the gifted goddess—Fame ; Many a soul hath drained the chalice Fuaiuing iu her glittering palace— Many another knelt iu rapture but to press her gar ment's hem, • Or to grasp the pearl dissevereJ from her peerless diadem : Love, or Fame, or Gold, unmeasured, soul of sad ness, which of them ! Yet no flutter, yet no waking From the dumb aud dreary aching— From the sorrow of to-morrow, or the grieving of to day, From tho stupor and the torpor, wearing thy sweet life away, What shall rouse thee, what shall *ave thee from this wastiug slumber, pray 7 * Love it must be—thought hntb guessed it, For a sigh of thine expressed it, And a stirful throbbing crecpcth through each limp and languid veiD, Till the ruddy life-tide ieapeth swiftly on its course again ,* Though thy pride so silent made thee, Love's .weet meutiou hath betrayed thee ; ] Gold may dash thy sky with rainbows where its meteors flash aud fall F'ame may hold thee and enfold thee in her fascinat ing thrall, But'lis love's magnetic mystery that enslaves thee mure than all. MY. BIRD. BR FARSV FORRESTER. Ere last year's moon had left the sky, A birdling sought my Indian nest, And folded, oh so lovingly ! Her tiny wings upon my breast. From morn till evening's purple tinge, In w'Rsotne helplessness sue lies, Two rose leaves, with a silken fringe, Shut softly ou her starry eyes. There's not in Ind. a lovlier bird ; Broad earth owns not a happier Dest; Ob, God, tbeu hast a fountain stirred, YYbose waters never more shall rest ; This beautiful, mysterious thing, This seeming visitant from heaven, This bir-l with the immortal wing, To me -to me, Thy hand has given. The pulse first caught its tiny stroke, The blood its crimson hue, from mine, This life, which I have dared invoke, Henceforth is parallel with thin.*. A Bilent awe is in my room — I tremble with delicious fear ; The future, with its light and gloom, Time and Eternity are here. Doubts—hopes, in eager tumult rise ; Hear, Oh my God ! one earnest prayer : ' Room fo. - my bird in Paradise, And give her augel plumage there ! INFANTILE INNOCENCE— "Papa, didn't you J whip tne once for biting little Tummy V "Yes, my dear ; you hurt him very much. "Well, then, Papa, you ought to whip sis ter's music master, too ; he bit sister yester day afternoon right on the inouth. and I know it hurt hur, because she put her aims AROUND bis NPDT AOTI tried to QHUKU him. ' " To Speak his Thoughts is Every Freeman's Right. " EARNING A WIFE. "And so you want to marry my daugh ter, young man,"' said farmer Blivens, re moving the pipe from his month, and look ll.g at the young fellow sharply from head to toe. Despite his tather indolent, effeminate air. which was mainly the result of his ed ucation, Luke Jordan was a fine-looking f llow, and easily moved from his self pos SI ssion ; but he colored and grew confused beneath that sharp, scrutini'.-ng look. " Yes, sir. I spoke to Miss Mary last evening, and she — referred me to you." The old man's face softened. "Molly is a good girl, a very good girl," | he said, stroking his chin, with a thonght- J ful air, " and she deserves a good husband. What can you do ?" The young man looked rather blank at I this abrupt inquiry. " If you refer to my ability to support a I wife, 1 can assure you " " I know that you are a rich man, Luke 1 Jordan ; but I take it for granted you ask ! my girl to marry you, not your property. — What guarantee can you give me, in case ! it should he swept away — as it is in thou sands of instances — that you could provide for her a comfortable home? You have hands and brains — do you know how to use them ? Again I ask, what can you dor This was a style of catechism for whicli 1 Luke was quite unprepared, and he stared blankly at the questioner without speak ing* " I believe you managed to get through college — have you any profession }" " No, sir; I thought " " Have you any trade?" " No, sir; my father thought that, with the wealth I sliouid inherit, I should not need any." " Your father thought like a fool, then. He'd much better have given you some honest occupation and cut you off with a shilling ; it might have been the making of you. As it is, what are you fit for? — Here you arc. a strong, able-bodied young man, twenty-four years ol I, and never earned a dollar in your life! You ought to be ashamed of yourself." " And you want to marry my daughter," resumed the old man. after a few vigorous puffs at his pipe. " Now, I've given Mol ly AS good advantages for learning as any girl in town, and she hasn't thrown 'em away ; but if she didn't know how to work j she'd be no daughter of mine. If I choose I could keep more than one servant, but I don't no more than I choose that mv daughter <diould be a pale spiritless crea ture, full of dyspepsia and all manner of fine lady ailments, instead of the smiling, bright-eyed, rosy-cheeked lass she is. I I did say that she should marry no lad that had been cursed with a rich father; but she's taken a foolish liking to ye, and 111 tell ye what I'll do ; go to work and prove yourself to he a man ; perfect your self in some occupation —l don't care what, so it be honest ; then come to me, and if the girl is willing, she is yours." As the old man said this, lie deliberately knocked the ashes out of his pipe aga.nst one of the pillars of the porch where he was standing, tucked it into his vest pock et, and went into the house Pretty Mary Bliven was waiting to see her lover down at the garden gate, their usual trysting place. The smiling light faded from her eyes as she noticed his so ber, discomfited look. " Father means well," as Luke told her the result of his application. " And I'm not sure but what he is about right, for it seems to me that every man, be he rich or poor, ought to have some oc cupation." Then, as she noticed her lover's giavc look, she added softly : " Never mind, I'll wait for you, Luke." Luke Jordan suddenly disappeared from his accustomed haunt, much to the sur prise of his gay associates. But, wherever lie vent, he carried with him in his exile these words, and which were a tower of strength to his soul, " I'll wait for you, Luke." One pleasant sunshiny morning, late in October, as fanner Blivens was propping up the grape-vine in his front yard, that threatened to break down with the weight of its luxurious burden, a neat-looking cart drove up, from which Luke Jordan alight ed, with a quick, elastic spring, quite in contrast with his former easy, liesurely movements. "Good morning, Mr. Blivens, I under stood that you wanted to buy some butter tubs and cider- barrels. I think I have some that will suit you." " Whose make are they ?" inquired the old man, as opeuing the gate he passed by the wagon. " Mine," replied Luke, with an air of pardonable pride ; " and I challenge any cooper in the State to beat them." Air. Blivens examined them critically, one by one. " They'll do, he said, coolly, A9 he set down the last of the lot. " What will you take for them ?" j " What I asked you for six months ago ! to-day — your daughter, sir " The roguish twinkle in the old man's eyes broadened into a sinile. j " You've got the right metal in you af ter all," he cried. " Come in, lad — come in. I shouldn't wonder if we made a trade after all." Nothing loth, Luke obeyed. "Molly !" said Mr. Blivens, thrusting his head into the kit-hen door. Molly tripped out into the entry. The tound, white arms were bared above the elbow, and bore traces of the tlour she had been sifting. Her dress was a neat gingham, over which was tied a blue checked apron ; but she looked as winning | and lovely a 0 she a ways did whortver she j WAS found. She blushed and tmiied as she saw Luke, | and then turning her eyes upon her father, waited dutifully to hear what he had to j say. The old man regarded his daughter for j a moment with a quizzical look. " Molly, this young man mayhap | you've seen him before— lias brought me a lot of tubs and barrels, ail of his own i make —A right good article, too. lie asks a pretty steep price for 'em ; but if you are willing to give it, well and good ; and | hark ye, my girl, whatever bargain you make your father will ratify." As Mr. Blivens said this, he consider ately stepped out of the room, and we will follow his example. But t.he kind of a bargain the young people made can readi ly be conjectured by the speedy wedding which followed." A Lady's Opinion of a Lady's Man. Mrs. Stephens, in her monthly maga zine, gives a certain class of men, the like of whom are seen in every community, the benefit of her opinion as follows : Our own private opinion on the "lady's man" is, that HO is thoroughly contempti ble—A sort of a life hardly worth thinking about —A nut shell with the kernel wither ed up —A handful of foam drifting over the wine of life — something not altogether un pleasant to the fancy, but of no earthly use. A woman of sense would as soon be put to sea in a man-of-war made of shin gles, or take up her residence in a card house, as dream of attaching herself to a lady-killer. Women worth the name are seldom deceived into thinking our lady's man the choicest specimen of his sex.— Whatever their ignorance may be, woman ly intuition must tell that the men who live for a great object, and whose spirits are so firmly knit that they are able to encounter the storms of life—men whose depth and warmth of feeling resemble the powerful current of a mighty river, and not the bub bles on its surface — who, if they love, are never smitten by mere beauty of form or features — that these m*-n are more worthy even of occupying their thoughts in idle moments than the fops and men about town, with whose attentions they amuse themselves. If we were to tell him this he would only laugh ; he has no pride about him, although full of vanity, and it matters not to him what we broadly affirm or quietly insinuate. Soft and delicate though he be, he as impervious to ridicule as a hod-carrier, and as regardless of hon est contempt as a city-alderman. Were you to hand him this article, he would take it to some social party anJ read it aloud, tn the most mellifluous voice, as a homage to his own attractions. — Men of America. The greatest, man, him for all in all," of the last hundred years, was George Washington, an American. The greatest metaphysician was Jona than Edwards, an American. The greatest natural philosopher was Benjamin Franklin, an American The greatest of living sculptors is niram Poweis, an American. The greatest writer on law, in the Eng lish language for the present century, was Judge Story, an American. The greatest orators ever lived were Clay, Calhoun, and Webster, all Americans. The greatest of living historians are George Bancroft, and Win. M. L'rescott, both Americans. The greatest ornithologist is John James Audubon, an American. There has been no English writer in the present age whose works have been mark ed with more humor, more refinement, or more grace, than those of Washington Ir vin, an American. The greatest lexicographer and philolo gist, since the time of Johnston, was Noah Webster, an American. The inventors, whose works have been productive of the greatest amount of hap piness to mankind in the last century, were Godfrey, Fitch, Fulton, and Whitney, all Americans. Leap Year. The Almanac makers inform ns that the year 1808 is especially set apart for the ladies — the unmarried portion we mean who, by time-honored custom and conces sion, are entitled to do a good many things this year, that they are denied on any oth er. They have the right to ask their " fel ler" to take a sleigh ride, go to a concert, or to church ; they have the right to draw " their weasel" and pay the bills ; and more, they have the right to do the court ing, to put their arms around a piece of corduroy, and even " pop the question." This is nice, it is pleasant to hear the idol of your heart in tremulous tones, say, " Dear Augustus, adored ol my heart, the bright star of my future life, the sun-beam of my waking hours, say, oh ! say, wilt thou be mine, be all thine own dear Penne lope Ann's ?" And then to hear the bash ful swain, holding his cambric, scented with the flavor ot a thousand flowers, or a skunk's cabbage, simper out " Ask par and mar !" Shaw ! we can't do the subject justice, and will let Corry O'Lanus speak tor us, he knows all about such things, and he's just got married. It is leap year. Of which fact I wish to remind the la dies. There is a division of opinion as to the right of a woman to vote, but there can be DO question as to her right to a husband, if she can get one. i Now is her time. But I woffd advise voting ladies not to j be rash. Although it is leap year, you had better look before you leap. Because if you get a husband, and he ' don't suit you, you can't change him for a ; better one, at least, without going to Cbi- J cago. There are several considerations to fee observed in the selection of a husband. Looks are a matter of taste :— size, com plexion aud color of whiskers may be left to individual taste. They are of less consequence than dis position or pecuniary resources. Particularly the resources. I wouldn t advise any young woman to marry a man who would expect her to support them. It is not a fair thing on - the old gentle man, wfio has been looking forward to the marriage of bis daughter as a happy release from milliner's bills. Never disappoint your parents. Young ladies need not inquire too par ticularly whether the man of their choice ; belongs to a lodge, which meets four nights j in a week. She will find that out after they are mar | ried. Husbands, like other domestic animals, j when eaught young can sometimes be ! trained to do a good many useful things. I They have even been known to get up in the morning and light the fire when the girl has gone away. There are some professions not advisa ble to marry into. Such AS editors for they never get rich. Or politicians who aic not satisfied with one wife, but are always getting wedded : to their country, and like most bigamists j abuse both their wives. But as the great object is to get a hus band, and AS the supply is limited, it may | not do to be too particular. WHO SUE YOUR COMPANY ?—" He that walketh with wise men shall be wise; but a companion of fools shall be destroyed." It is said to be a property of the tieefrog that it acquires the color of whatever it ad heres to for a short time. Thus, when found on growing corn, it is commonly a dark green. If found on white oak, it has the color peculiar to that tree. Just so! it is with a man. Tell me whom you ; chosen as your companions, and I will tell who you are. Do you love the society of the vulgar ? Then you are like them in your sentiments. Do you seek the society of the profane ? In your heart you are like them. Are jesters and buffoons your cboiee friends ? He who loves to laugh at lolly is himself a fool, and probably a very stupid one too. Do you love to seek the society of the wise and good ? Is this your habit ? Would you rather take the lowest place among them than the highest among others ? Then you have already learned to be wise and good. You may have made much progress, but even a good beginning is not to be dispised Hold on your way, and seek to be the companion of all that fear God. So you shall be wise for your itself and wise in eternity. It is a curious fact, that if a mail is lost in the woods and continues walking, he will invariably go round in a circle, con stantly veering to the left Land. It is be cause the right side of every human body (except in the case of lett-hauded people) is more developed than the left. Conse quently the muscles on that side are strongest, and tend gradauliy throw the whole body round, unlesss the aim is direct ed to some particular point. REMOVING A TIGHT FINGER RING. — It is seldom necessary to file off a ring which is too tight to readily pass the joint of the fin ger. If the finger is swollen apply cold water to reduce the inflammation, then wrap a small rag wet in hot water around the ring to expand the metal, and soap the finger. A needle threaded with strong silk can then be passed between the ring and the finger, and a person holding the two ends and pulling the silk while slowly sliding it arouud the periphery of the ring may readily remove the ring. If the ring is a plain hoop this process is easy; if it has a setting or protuberance more care will be required. Another method is to pass a piece of sewing silk under the ring and wind the thread, in pretty close spirals and snugly around the linger to the end. Then take the lower end — that below the ring — aud begin unwinding. The ring is certain to be removed unless the silk is very weak. The winding compresses the finger and renders the operation less diffi cult. NEWSPAPER SPONGERS — An exchange makes the fallowing sensible remarks: "There are many people in the world who make it a business to sponge the read ing of their county paper without any ex pense to themselves. This has often been noticed and commented upon. They are found where ever the paper is left—lN a shop, office, store or barber shop — and of ten borrow it before the owner has an op portunity of raising it from the table. This is done by very many who are abundantly able, and whose dnty would seem to be to sustain their Oounty paper by subscribing and 'paying for the same.' " £G*CUFFY said he'd rather die in a rail road smash up than a steamboat burst up for tn is reason If yon gets offand sma.-h -cd up, dar vou is! bnt if you gets blow ed np OO tho boat, whar i you ? " TERMS, $2.00 Per. ANNUM, in Advance J pise ant) | After the clergyman had united a happy , ps'r> not long ago, au awful silence ensued, ; which was broken by an impatient youth . | exclaiming : ' Don't be so unspeakably hap ■ py " So much whisky is drunk in Chicago that thousands of mosquitos have died of deleriuin tremens after biting Chicago citizens. A thief was lalaly caught breaking into a song. He had already got through the first bars, when a policeman came up and hit him with a stave. The following notice might have been seen some time ago, stuck up in a corset maker's showwindow in Glasgow : "All aorts of la dies stays here." Rhyming lovers generally woo their sweet hearts in such wretched verse that it is no wonder so many of them are jilted. Grey hairs, like honest friends, are pluck out and cast aside for telling unpleasant truths. Laziness begins in cobwebs and ends in iron chains. It creeps over a mad so slowly and imperceptibly, that he is bound tight be fore he knows it. * Throw a piece of meat among bears, and a purse of gold among men, and which will bes have the most outrageously—the men or the beasts 7 A quaker makes pleasure of his business and then for relaxation makes a business of his pleasure. An Arkansas traveler says he knew a young fellow down South, who was so fond of a young woman that he rubbed off his • nose kissing her shadow on the wall. I Some sensible bhafl says, truly, that a per ! son Who undertakes to raise himself by scan dalizing others, might as well sit down on a wheel barrow, and undertake to wheel him self. A wag, on being asked what ho bad for dinner, replied, "A lean wife, and the ruin of a man for sauce." llis dinner consisted of a j spare-rid of pork and apple sauce. Why is the clock the most modest piece of furniture 1 Because it covers its face with its hands and runs down its own works. "Mother," said a little square-built .boy, about five years old, ''why don't the teacher make me monitor sometimes 7 I can lick ev ery boy in my class but one." "Captain, what's the faro to St. Louis 7"— "What part of the boat do yon wifb logo in, cabin or deck V' "Ilang your cabin,'' said the gentleman from Indiana, "I live in a cab* in at home ; give u\e the best you've got." Another relic of the classic age has been found in St. Louts, being a dog's collar, sup posed to have belong to /ulius Caesar, from the fact of having his name engraved on it ! A SEXSIDI.E WlFE. —'Pray, tell tne, .roy dear, what is the cause of those tears 7" "Oh, such disgrace ! I have opened one of your letters spupnsing it to be addressed to mysely. Certainly it looks more tike Mrs. than Mr. "Is that all ? What harm ran there be in a wife's opening a husband's letter ?" "But the contents !—Such disgrace ?" "What ! has any one dared to write me a letter unfit for my wife to read ?" "Oh, no—it is couched in the most chaste language. But the disgrace 1" "Disgrace 1" Here the husbauJ caught up the letter, and commenced reading the epistle that had giveu so much uneasiness to hia wife. Readers, you could not guess the cause in a coon's age. Tt was no otherjthan a bill from a printer for nine years' subscription. The "disgrace" was wiped out almost im mediately. Artemus Ward was out late one night.— Here is his account of his return home. "It was late when I returned home. The children and my wife were all abed. But a candle—a candle made from taller of my own rasin'—gleamed In Betsy's room. It gleam ed for I ! All was still. Tbe sweet silver moon was shinin' brite, and the beautiful stars was up to their usual doifts ! I felt ft sentimental mood still so gently o' rme stealing', and I pawsed before Betsy's win der, and sung in a kind of operatic vois as toi lers, impromtoo tu wit: Wake, Betsy, wake, My sweet galoot 7 Rise up fair lady, While I toot my lute ! The Winder—l regret to say that the win der went np wtth a violent crash, and a form in spotless white exclaimed, "Cum into the house you old fool. To-morrer you'll begoin' round complainin' about your liver." No wonder that Weston is a good walker. It turns out that he used tu be collector for ft newspaper. NO. 27.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers