t’erraa of Publication. >• ' gaa^gag^Mg^s^^ aia=g=^" ’" Ji,, 1 !,;,,-.,., j„ =. 1 ..i. isast 'p™ ‘:l' n i rp; *rp / \j* J 1 Vj AVJI 1 A 1: Oil t er remittance be rseeiijßfl.' .By th! '•*•-*■ f i '•••• *; 4 ’ ■’ -‘ "-■■ ' r ', - . . . '■ ’ < . . “’'S» lrtn* nt Hater. , - Ljt agitator is the Official Paparof Ihe.Cottntj, largo and steadily increasing cirenlatiotfrMoj*- !‘jto srery neighlforliooctin ttierConnty. Ttisjtatft * j fottaga to any subscriber within the County *u,bat whose, most' oodrehien tpostoffiqe may Be adjoining Comity.. . r * , . . ' g Easiness Cards, not exceeding 5 lines,paper d, (i per year,. [| . '•' - ." ■ ).( f; as. LOWKEV St S. F. WHSIUI, , ITOP.NEYS at COUNSELLORS AT LAW. wjU 1. at land the Court of Tioga, [yeUabbto', Yob-1,1853,1 ', . „ D1C«I SS o¥ fl'OlTsi^T , COR ZJING, ' U* (u, A. Field, ; -. . Propriftot taken to and from thoJDepot free of chi rg£ J. EMERY, i, fTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR. AT :a|t 4 ffellaboro, Tioga Co., Pa, 'Will doro 5 J|b exclusively to the practice oQaw. Colic !ti caps ‘ any of tbs Northern counties of Pc(iis|l i. ndT2l.eS 4 ntifc —-— J fu. . = pENNSYtyAI»IA • HOUSE.; , rl ,t ej Main Street and the Avenue, Wellebai >/J j * j, W. BIGONY, PROPRIETOR.' r ! £ f. jftis popular Hotel, having bee* re-fitted aj ; d re jjaralebed throughout, is now open to the pabll l as * r»«tji»Mb° nse - . . '-k./ IZAAK WALTON iIOESI, r s C. VElt}fll,r-BA, PSOPStßf\iAl r Gaines, Tioga County, Pa. (,•<]' TglS is» new hotel located within easy »Vics| o lie boat fishing and hunting grounds in Nd-th&n S« pains will bo spared for the •f'slMsaro seekers and the traveling public. ■; April 12, 1860. " » '■ :>( G.C. C. CAMPELL, V 1,^1?: BARBER > - 3 SHOP in the rear of the Post Office. Every U hgfin Ms line will be done.as well and promptly a*U be done in the city saloons. _Breparatinn.v fii .y, ..rinir dandruff, and beautifying'the ttair, -f«= ipffe k«sp Hair and whiskers dyed »n j color. C( U tTellsboro, Sept. 22, 1859. ■ XBE CORNING Goarffo W. Pratt, Editor and Proprietors I 1 B published at Coming, Steuben Co., N’. Yu,£t One Dollar and Fifty Cents per year, in advance,’ Tjie laaraal is Republican in politics, and has a circa fu tu» reaching into every part of Stcuhcrr CoildtJJ — Ik«« desirous of extending their business intp Srat tad ibi adjoining counties will find it an tertising medium. Address ns above. , I 'V WELjLSEOBO IIOTE^VI , "wellsborough, pa. -a -,1.8. rmit, - - - -■ - .. FEOI'Ji:,E#pH. • {Formerly •/ the United Stale t Hotel } ' : itf ’Sariag loused this well known and populnrrJSoasp, nolleits tho patronage of thh public. With attentive nd obliging waiters, togethsr with the Ptoprietdr’s iiovledgo of tho business, he hopes to make the sjny tl iboso who stop with 'him both plettstCnt'and agreeable. ' " j ; { ifeUsboro, May 31, 1866- . , i ' g ' E. B. TI.D., it. ’ irrTOUI.D inform the public Ointjie is pcrrtaMDtl AY located in_ Elkiaud Boro, Tioga. Co/Pe|pn u jupsrod by thirty years’ experience to tret) W’dia euei of the eyes and their appendage* on, rjciyiUfi inociploa, and that he can care without iliulv-tha Areatifal disease, called St. Vitus' .Dance,,, (Vfdre f,.,dl Kit I.) and irili/atteud to'any- other onsKfsa i ui lino of Physic add Surgery. .•■«!( i ilklaad-Boro, August 8, 1860. ' ■;!? DENTISTRY.. C. N. DARTT > WtftCLD respectfully any to.the citfien? - of AVellsboro and vicinity, that ha .hw «fnc« ever WRIGHT’S FLOUR where be will continue ;o do all Toads; of work i* the lino of DENTISTRY., »t i WelWhoro, April 30, }) ; ’ CORNING.] : D'ROLKSALB drug axd bqok W-'ore. J.DSB AND MEDICINES, i jf , PAINTS AND OIJ.S, . li (’ WINDOW GLASS, ;) | ’ KEHOSINF. Oft, & iALCOHOL, ! ’ : i. f BOOKS AND STATSOnIRY, s‘ '*■ Sold at wholesale by $ : ' W. D. TERBEXX. | . Coantry Merchants supplied with these Articles at NEW YORK PRICIISj. o«ttthi£\ Feb. 20, 1362. . ■' ■ 1 ' - • i- ft ■■ WANTED! r ; k ONE THOUSAND BUSHELS Will AT I ONE THOUSAND BUSHELS , ONE THOUSAND BUSHELS CfAlijS! ONE THOUSAND BDSUEIiI %E! lot vihich wo will pay CA.SH'. 1. u' . WRIGHT & 1 A'|/EY. Flour by the ponnd, sack gr Barrel, - Feed by the or ton, , 'jp Bran in h f*r sale eh sap at Wright & .Bailey's new Ei||r and Feed Store. • ‘ , Fork cheap at our Store. ;.j5» , All goods delivered FREE OF CHARLlE*. within Iho Corporation. ■ FKED K* 1 wrlh AMEBIC AW DOTED. | \/ormcrly X>. Hart'* “ Crystal Fountain *p%pUsx.) Corner or Main and Quesn Str|&|» WELLSBOMO, FA. '| - BOLERMAN. - - - - Pro|riotor- Strict attention paid tt> the comfort of Good stabling. Charges reasonable. • i ■ F A good Cook and a hostler wanted, a Wellsboro, Sept. 3,1862. —1 y. g • jg BELLSBORO’ ACAD^Mt. WelDborob Tioga County, Pen! |»; |l taAEINTJS N. AX.LBN. A. M.; - /pWacipal Elated by a corps of' competent teachers. |r The Winter Term will commence oij tS Bth of Member, 1862. . < J =f Tuition for term of' fourteen tceeis } frDm|s2.so to i.OO, ' .. J. JEST- A Teaches' Class also bo form|d. . By order ofrTruatees, i. ■*' r J. F DONALDSpN,Tr«*’<- , November i 2, 1862. 'f I • l~i—4i SPRING FASHION & P. QUICK, HAT'£EK,\ No. 139 Water Street} :e P« constantly on hand' a general asfjortnqjnt ofj, FASHION SILK ASS CASSISERE’jIATS'. - d«o nAlVmdsof Soft Hats and Caps,Pars ftfr Ladies, ■c. Hots made to order. Call and leave y'onr meas ,e > and then yon-can have a Hat to fit you. Prices 'suitth?times. Qnality warranted, 6* , Elmira, MarchjtXß, 1862:' y CEKTB AtfcD LYE. for rote at ■ V . ROY'S BRG& SJOR& ~1 —— sr. ■ i. .■■>{ ■ -.t 7 ... 1— V--~. .w -r •a aiefcotear to ifa-Stymptp&rrt Me &tm jo* JFmfcow ana ifte of J&tffcvnt; ■ WHILE THERE SHALL BE AWBONG ; UNSIGHTED, AND UNTIL “MAN’S INHUMANITY; TO MAN*. SHALL CEASE, AGITATION MUST CONTINUE.? yoi. ix. , For the Agitator. THEDEAB SOLDIER. ' Written on the death nf Mr. 'Will ( iA3l Mn«LEfc, o/ Com- }>any JB, Bth' Pennsylvania Cavalry,' '’ u “ . Twine for him the janrel boßgh, Hehas-fpphis country died ;/ O'er him let the flag drooplew, ~ Lay his good .sword by his' side. ■ In hia country'* evil hour, fie was'foremost in the ran: t '■Where the criajson war-olohds lower, * He hath showed himself a man/ ■ Ha bath stoodotnong the bravo, .. An 3 defied his nohnlry’s foes; . ‘ Ho would-never hfi"a alive; * .O'er pain and fesr his spirit rose, jßnt while bis bleeding country's call. Still- is ringing, through the land,- It has been his fate to fall, ‘ ’ Tojall far'ih a dishiat land. ■ Ho mother soothed his dying head. Ho sister near to hold his head; No brother stood beside his bed, "All strangers in a stranger’s land. Then let the flag he loved droop low. Yes, lot it shroud his cofined form; ' ' . For he has struck fall many a blow, To save that dear loved flag fiom harm. So twine for him the laurel’s loaves, IT ho has more right than he to wear Glory’s badge? his life ho gives ■ In ransom for his country dear. . . • Then lay him gently in the ground, While weeping friends are standing by; We call his low bed glory’s mound, And think 'tis glorious thus to die, Edith. SIAHEIAGE OP XiOTHEB, lutber came to Melaucthon’s house and re quested to see Catharine-alone. Margaret hastened to her and gave her the message. She entreated her friend to return with her. “That would not do, 1 ” replied Margaret; “ he.said expressly atone; he undoubtedly has something very particular to say. Now, Cath arine, take oourage-and open your heart.’’ Poor Catharine went with trembling steps to, the presence of "Luther. “ I have sent for you, my child," said he, to converse on the subject of matrimony. 1 hope-you are convinced it is a holy state." “ Yes, sir," said Catharine. “Are you prepared to embrace it?" 4 “ No, sir,” she replied. ‘‘-Perhaps you have scruples on the score of monastic vows; if so, I will mark some passa ges I have written on that subject, that may set your mind at rest." Catharine was silent. " I perceive that I do not make much pro gress in "my purpose. lam a iittle used to these matters, and I had better be direct... T)u you mean to abide hy y.our monastic vows," or Will you marry, like a rational woman ?” ''' This direct appeal seemed to arouse her cour age. 0 ' '' “ Even Doctor Marlin Luther has no right,” eaid she, “ to ask that question without explain ing his motive.” “ Well said, Kate,” replied he laughing.— “ I must tell you then. There is a person who .would gladly take you, ‘ for better and for worse.' ” Catharine’s color rose, and her eyes sparkled with additional 1 brightness. “ Now say, lias he any chance?” “You have cot told me who ho is,” said she, resolutely, i “ And you have not told me whether you have any scruples of conscience on the sub ject; if you have, God forbid that I should urge you.” , : ■ “ Whefi I left ’ the convent,” said she, ih’a 10-w voice, ‘it was because it would have been 'hypocrisy in me to have, remained there. I took the vows ignorantly, and almost by com pulsion ; I embraced the reformed religion with an inquiring and willing faith. God forgive me, that I so'long offered him the worship of my lips while my heart was far from him.” “ And now?” said Luther, after waiting for her to finish her sentence.' “Now,” she replied, “I need not ask his forgiveness for worshipping him in spirit and in truth. lam no longer a nun.” “Well,” said Luther,l suppose this is as direct an answer as I must expect. So to my purpose.” But, even Luther-stopped short) surprised at Catharine’s eruption.- “ Perhaps, my dear,” he said kindly, “I do wrong in speaking to you myself; 1 had better commission Margaret. I suppose women con verse on these matters better together; and yet, as I have begun, I will finish. The other day, Rodenstein, the nephew of Carolstadt, came to me to solicit my influence with you. He wishes you to marry him. I told him. I could have no particular influence with yon, unless you have scruples of conscience about marrying. He is a clever young .man, and t see no objection. He is very unlike his fanatic uncle.” ;• He might have talked an hour without re ceiving a reply. manner had changed; there wag no longer the emotion or blush. f MVhat shall I tell him?” ■ “ Anything you please,” said she, “ go that £ never gee him again." •• Why, this is strange," said Luther ; “ you Aid not seem to have scruples of conscience just now. My dear-Catharine, you must not forget that you have no natural relations hero, and' this young man can be a protector ‘to you.”- - - , “ I wish you would not speak of him," re plied she. ! f>k. “ Ib there any one else that yon like batter?’-’ said Luther. She made no reply. • “ Nay, speak; I have every disposition to sette you. Has any other person made the' '.same proposition to you?” . :.l‘Yes,” said Catharine, with a little woman-' ly pride; ‘‘ Counselor Baumgartner has made the same proposals.” - “ Do you prefer him V ■ “Yes," she replied, rising; but I am as happy as !■ ever expect to be. My friends as sure me that 1 am no burden, but n help to them; and eo 1 wish you good morning;" Poor Catharine hastened to her room. Her’ dream was over; Luther, the austere, the in sensible reformer, hid awakened Jfer from it. Margaret entered while her eyes’ 'tiite jet‘ , WELLSBOROy TIOGA COUNTY, PA., DECEMBER .24/: 1861 red with weeping. She tenderly'approached and. embraced her y but neither, exchanged a Word, , , j j _ f‘.There i» net hope for Bode,nstoinj rr thought Luther; “it is eTldcnt ob ject. Catharine is a child; if theTEleCtordles she is' Without, support,' except. by the labor pf herjiands, and they flo.D’ct.'lopk, as if they madejfoL labor. ,7'will, write to Jerome jOmumgartner; as Jay bung .counselor at J .j, : , Jj, ’J, * " .Accordingly be ytxj&tl , ’■ /■', . . 152 d, ,Odt ?2;: *'Tf,ypa would obtain CatharineydniSdrh'ej herejbefore she is given to. another who proposes for her.' She has npt yet, cpnguered her love fpr.you. I shall rejoice to jseo Von upitpij. ‘ ’ •,'/ .tuirHW.^ , .Tbpyoung, counselor received this letter with surprise and incredulity. The positive,tpfusal .of; Catharine, acme: .months, before, had left no doubt on, his mind,: and bethought. the, wisest -plan was to inclose, the letter| to, her, and.to inquire whether it was written ( vrith hpraanc- 7 't I twn, . ..... . .. j. ..... . In the meantime, Luthers friends began to urge, him to marry, particularly Melanctbop. Yon, preach/’ .said he, ‘‘ what yon dp pot practice.” .• , Hu protested, however, thatho would not be caught in the snare ; that his time was now fully occupied.■ .. i When Catharine received the ..letter from her former lover, she was tilled with astonishment, and requested Margaret to speak to Luther on the subject.- He said be had done what he thought was itightj-andi would baagrceaWeto all 1 parties; .but he found there was one science bo did-not understand—the heart .of: a woman. “ That is true,” said Margaret, “or you would long since have perceived that Cath arine's was yoUrh; and Ww tho ’inyatery is out.” ' - . ■ It required all the evidence to-convinca Lu ther of the trpth of .this assertion ; he was for ty, and Catharine but: little more than ibalftjhat number of years; that: she could prefer him to her young suitors seemed to him incredible. Margaret, however, had said it, and a newjlife opened to jLuther, in the affection of a young and beautiful woman, . , ’ ,\Vhaa, he spoke to Catharine again oh,the ’subject’‘of matrimony he was' more than before. ll# learned the history 6f her long attachment,' which had become sb ’much the reverie of her silent hours. The bafrplh ment took place, and very soon th» marriage followed.-’, • : - ■ . : .i 1 The Moat-ESttravaeant WemanlnthsJW'orld. The Empress of France is probably the most extravagant woman living. Mur is this all: she has been the cause of,ruinous extravagance in tbs families of .her husband’s subjects, end in all countries were the costly fashions she has set have found favor. M. Fould, the Em peror’s Minister of Finance, threatens, to re sign his office unless her enormous drafts upon the treasury are curtailed. So costly baa she made tho toilette in Paris, that fashionable ladies are utterly unable to settle their bills for dress, and it is stated by the English press that it is as, much as many of them ean do to pay the interest on the large debts which following the imperial modes has caused them to incur. The world owes Crinoline to the fair Eugenie-; and the rougher, half of its civilized population does not feel by any manner of means grateful to her for the introduction of the article. She has made her apartments; in the Tuilleries as magnificent aa the palaces one reads about in oriental fables. The doors of her boudoir are of ivory, inlaid with gold. The furniture is of; rosewood, inlaid with mirrors, gold, ivory andj pearl, and is upholstered with, pale-red siik.j Sroyrnian carpeting of the heaviest texture, covers the tioor, and the ceiling is splendidly, 1 frescoed. The.desks and portfulipaaro of; tor toise arabastpied with gold, and the most valuable paintings of the old master? ornament the walls. The beautiful woman who has sur rounded , herself with these luxuries spepds an almost fabulous amount annually in rare laces and all the most expensive articles of female costume, besides subscribing, unheard of sums in aid of certain vast political schemes, Tuf shh is withal an intriguer. The Empress ik thirty six years of age, and therefore old enough to have learned prudence yet she fa more'prodi gal now that) ih the bey-day of her youth 1 and beauty. Thp Queen pf Louis XVI. was as 'ex travagant, and ii fond of meddling in" date affairs as Eugenie,' and her fool of a husband suffered her to lead him by tbd nose. ofife day, however, they lost their head, 1 poor things.— Would it not be well for Louis Napoleon to take the warding fo heart? ■ • •‘‘How do.joix do, Mrs. Tbw'e?- 'Have you heard that story about‘Mrs; Ludyf” ' ■ ■ ' ‘•■Why,-no, really Mrs. Gad! 1 What is it? Do tell.” ■ “ Oh, I promised not to teill for all the World —no I must never tell on’t;- Dm -afraid it will •get out.” • “ Why, I'll never tell on’t as long ns.l live, iust as true as the world. ‘ Whnt:is it ?’' Come tell.” . •- , i “ Now, you won't say anything about its will you ?” . “No, I’ll never bpon my mouth, about it— never. Hope to die-this minute.” “ Well, if you’ll believe it, Mrs; Fundy told, me last night, that Mrs. Trot'told her. that her sister’s husband was told by a person that dreamed it, that Mrs; Trouble’s oldest daugh ter told -Mrs. Niohena that her grandmother heard by a'letter she got.from her sister’s second husband's flldestjb'rortiet's step-daugh ter, that it-was -reported by. tfa'ii captaln df it clam-boat just arrived fromtheFeejee Islends, that’- the '’mermaids' about "that section wear, crinolinea madebut ofeharksltina'.-’’ -. -v -i HoHßihtE!—Gen. Hen. Butler bis lately is sued an order in New Orleans, that the entire "district Of Lafourche? lying near the 1 city was to be confiscated for the use of ibe United as the-property of disloyal- persons. How can Breckinridgers endure aueh- a-viola tion'*o? the ..Constitution t tlncle Ben, you* imbt tfofv'folatH tte • ‘Constitute jp' ,ib‘ Nidify-' PBOM ABTEUAS ’WABD. ' Treating, bf the liable Red Jifartr^iDomesiiejAf p inan of the for rest, was, formerly a very respecdrui, person. Justice to. tfaa no tie abporygine' warrants me in Payin' tnali Orriger nelybd was amajesticbue'si'i, ‘ ; :: At thfi'luHe Chris, hrrove on these I shores (1 aloodtoChriB.LGolumbas),Bavjia'was virtuous wid.,happy.;,lhey pere innocent pf. se.Qeaßipq, drawppker,- and. sinfulness ginirally,— They didnV'disc'usathe ‘slavery queslioh *ai"a custom, “fbey had : rtd Congress,- -forobanks; delirium tremens, or Assdciatad; Press.. ThCir hat its yas,, consequently good., ; Ljite spppers, dyepe.psy, gas companies, thieves, ward politi cians pretty waiter girls,' find other metropoli tan refinements were Unknown' amocg tnem. Tt> savagyiti good standing wnnid take' pos gu stamps. .'Yon couldn’t, bate iho’t o, oopn p with a barrel of ’em. .The feiqalo.flbpp,- ina neter, died of, consumption, a't tip her waist up in whalebone things.; in lobse flowin’ garments she hd&nd'ed with fed l feetover tbs'hillaud plains like'tbe free j :frishy antelope. ■ /' '* . t was an onlucky tpomept for.ui.w.hqp CJuk. hia foot on this ’ere phores. It wpuid .have n better for us of the present day, ir the ns had given him fi'tvarm meal and Sent home o’er the ragin' biteTa.-p'or : the Savj is {led'the cmintryv and Golonibus wash filli ter. Cortez, Pizarro,: and 'Walker, - were ■horse fiUibusters, .Columbus was a, fuur ae leam.-fillibuster, and a, large yallar dog ier the wagon. I say, in view of (he mess are making of things, it would be better for if Columbus hiul staid to home, it would ’B been better for the' show bis ness. Tha aulation of Vanity Fair;tvqujd bn larger, and i proprietors would all have ippzum pins! 3, sir, and perhaps a ten-pin alley 1 3y which' I don’t wish po be understood as the' scalpin’ wretoh'es who are the Injia bisnissiat-the present day are .of y account, or calculated to makethoipe;bap- i especially the Sioux of,Minnesota, who-de- ; eto be murdered in .the,firsts degree, and if e will only'Ray in St. Paul and not go hear nhithself, I reckon tbeywill be. - 1 hings in dor town is workin’. The canal :, Lucy Ann, Called in- here the other day, reported all quiet on .the Wabash. The y Ann has'adopted a new style of Binnekle t, in the shape of a redheaded gal, who sits iver thc'cdmpass. If * he artist I spoke of in my last has return s Philadelphy. Before he left I took his liily white band in mine. 1 suggested to him he could endue’e the citizens of .Piula- t duiphy, to behove that it he a good'ulea tc have white window-shutters on their booses and white door-stones, he might make a fortin. “It’s a novelty," I added, “and may startle . 'em at fust, but they may conolood to adopt it." J As several of our public meu are constantly being surprised with serenades, I concluded I’d be surprised in the same way, so I made arrangements accordin’. I asked the Brass iand how much they would take to take me entirely by surprise with a serenade. They said they’d overwhelm me with an unexpected honor for §7, which I excepted. did Tint ’nal heel Inj owi bud one hoi UDI US ha oiri thi Yei inpi in 11 j I wrote out my impromptoo .speech several days beforehand, bein’ very careful to expunge i all ingrammaticisms and payin’ particular 'at tention to tbe’punktooation. It was, if Xmay 'say it without egitism, a manly effort, but aljtrs 1 I never delivered it, aa the sekel will show you. 1 paced up and down the kitchen speakin’ ray piece over so as to be entirely peffeck. My bloomin’ young daughter, Scrub Ann, bother ed me summit by singin’—“ Wby do Summer Hoses fade?” “ Because, ’’ said I, after bearin’ her sing it about fourteen times, “ because it’s their.Jnz 1 Let’em'fade.” ~, • ' ■ “Betsy,” said I, pausin’ in,the middle of the room and letting piy eagln eye wander from the manuscript, “ Betsy, on the night of this here serenade, I desire you to .appear at the-winder dressed in yrhite, and wave a lilly-white bnn , keroher. D’ye hear ?/’ “ If I appear,” said that remarkable female, “ I shall wave a lilly-white bucket of biliu’ hpt -.water, and somebody will bo scalded". Que bull-hßaded;old fool will get bis share.” . She refer,’d to Jier husband—no doubt,about itinmymiud. But fur-fear she might pxus-. perate me I said nothin’. , ■ The expected night cum. At 9 o’clock pre cisely, there were sounds of footsteps,-in the ; y(ird, and the Band struck, op a lively .air, which, when they did, there were-, cries of " Ward! Wardl’h I slept out on the pbvtico. A brief glance slew'd me that the assemblage was.summit mixed. 'There was a great many ragged boys, and there was quite a number, of grown-up persons evidently , under the influence'.of the intoxicatin' bole, i The'Band was all drunk. ,Dr. Scbwaaey, who was holding up a post, seemed to-be paHio’ly drunk—so much ao;tbat that it had got into his spectacles, wbidh were staggerin’ wildly over bis nose. But I was-in for it, and I commenced thus : . “ Feller citizens: For this unexpected hon or,”-^ — Leader of the Band. —“ Will yon give ns our money now or-wait till you get through ?” To this paiofui,T»nd disgustin’ interruption I paid no attention. . -■ : “ For this unexpected honor! thank you-.”.. - , Leader of the Band.—“ But you .said you’d ; giveTis 67 if‘we’d play|two choons.” Again I don’t'notice-him, but jtesnmed as follows-; .-• , .‘ff iiT -“ I say I-thank ymi warmly. .When L.lopk at this crowd of true Americans, : my heart <£t - t 'j swell- Sr. Schwazey— ‘ So do -I!” ■ . A Voice—“ Well all do !” - . “ ———my heart swella-t—■ —r A Voice—“ Three cheers for tbe swells.”- .. • “We live,*' said I, *,* in ivnblus.,limes,;brit I, b'ope we shall again resume cup-former proud 'positions,' and shall go. oh in' our glorious career.” / ■- I ; : J)r. Schwaaey.-—“ I’m -willin’, for one, to die ip a gforioua caWer. Will’.yon join me, fellow tfoll'M*:' a'-riutfbifg oivVebr? WhaV wages doeh'.a man git for a career, when ’ faff finds himself?” *• _ ' <“-lir-.>Sa!ivcaiej,”.said I > stflMlj v “ you..are dunk. Yiyr’rf, disturb! o,’ .Ufe.wcpUi^.” Br. Schwazay.—“llave you a banquet spread ih’ihhliouse?. J 'should dike arhyriossyro'ss.'on the hslf sheil/dr.aiblppopOtainua pn toast, ora horsesnd wagon, .roasted whole. Anything that's bandy. :I)o,p’J: put,, yourself ont on my account.” , AVtois point the Band'begun to,'make hidy otfs noises with'thmr' brass horns, and a el* caediogJy.Rigged'hoyiwanted to.know if- them wasn’t !tO;ibei*ume iwittlea afore ( the .concern broke,up ?. v- -, . :;l ... i ,T didn’t exactly know what to do, and was jnst 'oh the point of doing it,’ when'a upper window suddenly opened add" a stream : of Hot' Water-was tero’t to bear oh the disorderly crowd, who took the hint and retired at once. When I ant taken by. surprise with another serenade, I shall, among other arrangements, have a respectful cfttr.panyon hand. So ■ho morU'froflafWto-day. ' - ” ■ 1 • -.in; • •' “ Whom this >you see, Rewcipberme.’’ v ~ fLov a. Lawyer fieaded off a Draft Comaris >• -’. !> i sionext-, ... ■ - ■ ' Sat’s-the tteiding (Pa!) Tallies—lt is'well kriownthat Comttiissibner Krrpp Was precise and'exact in his proceedings, alwayai toeping an eye to ihe-interests of the country, while dealing honorably w:itb,all, Now it happened that among the ahle-hpdiud men drafted from one of the Ifeidlehei'ga, there 'was' one obese specimen of humanity', hut whom the chances hit aa one of the'elect-- Wheri he reoaived'hia ‘■‘ticket for soup,”.;be hastened to Beading; and knowing jWborß,lived the cutest, .specimen of a lawyer, he went straight to'bis, offiob..— Said he: “I’m 'drafted!” ' ~ f ‘ The deuce ! you jire ; ; it must huvd been a strong mamthat drdftsi you t ■ < .. apd.„i wegnt tO-.get out. Can't march. I'll pay well." . , “ Very well.” ' ‘ ' 'fiief- twaifi-i proceeded to the office- of the CoDitnUaioner,-. f - i ■ “ Here,” said the lawyer, “ Commissioner, 1 have got a substitute.”. ... , Commissioner looked nit' tba wheezy '.speci men for some ‘‘time. “He won’t do; can’t. miirob."‘ •- ’ ' ' ... “ Hsuaa’tmacch; he wom’l do;' and I can’t take him.” This was what our smart friend wanted. “ He. won’t dp ;,eh f” No'; he iCoil’f:" - ' . ‘' “ Well, then, -scriftch'hi* name .off the list; he is dr of ted. mid leantsiD-be-exempted!" The Commissioner looked at- the lawyer for about a minute; then regarded the fat draft, 1 and, without, speaking a word, scratched olf his name! Look Under the Bonnet, Young Man. Quito a ludicrous incident occurred at the depot of the Detroit and Milwaukie railway on Saturday morning, that , should serve as a warning, to fond husbands who are in the habit of giving tangible proofs of their love for their better halves in the presence of strangers. On the tnorning'referred tp,-a young married man visited the train to meet his wife, who was ex pected in from Grand Rapids. Hr. B, search ed among tho passengers fop a few moments, and at last discovered a lady, standing near the baggage track with her "back towards him.— She wore, he thought, the identical clothes pos sessed by Mrs. 8., so, wishing to surprise, and believing that “ stolen kisses are the sweetest,” ho softly approached from b hind, placed his arms 'around her neck, sod gently drew her back upon, his breast, while his (ace went un der the bonnet, and, upon heir was im pressed— - " ’ - -“ A long, long kiss —a kiss of youth and love.” A slight acfeatn started him, and-, as the lady turned -upon hinf and confronted him with a look of intense indignation at the outrage, he discovered for the first time that hb had com mitted a grave mistake. With-evident embar rassment, he attempted to explain his error ; but at that moment the genuine Mrs. B. rush ing forward, and the -matter , became deaf-to the astonished lady who, had been so uncere moniously dealt with. It was but a moment before Mr, and MtsJß.,suddenly leftthe depot in a hack/amid the-smiles of the crowd who had witnessed the Incident. ■ , Moral: Young man, alwgys look under the bonnet attempt to steal the “nectar sweet/’ and you will avoid a similar misbap.— Deiriot.Tribune.' ‘ How Browrilow was Challenged. ■ Parson Brow.nlow, in his speech at Chicago, recently, told how he was once challenged to mortal combat by a secessionist, ond'thd result, lie Said: Almost the last- thing-'that: happened to me before they crushed out my paper, was » cbah .lenge to tight -a duel from a secessionist editor -in the .South, l^o,wis !L Pope, a. specimen of humanity who weighed ninety five pounds, a worse looking than than Aleck He 'suppbWthht, being a preacher and editor I wohldh’t fight, but he waked up the wrong passenger; [Applause;] ! accepted his chal lenge, and wrote in ,the letter, that being the challenged, party, I had' the right to "dictate thd weapunsi timfr'and place. It was then sum mer time-'and hot weather. I Skid s' ■ “I elect ■ that we-tight, immediately after .the first hard rain that comes, in a hog peti. The weapons, shall bo large four-pronged iron dung s tork'B^tco^fitfuk3 6 radgbl»r,] and whoever'shall, , ’sbtWeF-«h'* / 6tber out, shohld ba regarded _as ; hpvirigkilled inns ! ih mortal, combat”, [Voodf erquS laughter.] He replied, that the terms -were cruel, inhumaja, and contrary to the laws, of dueling, .and he , backed obtj arid well he might, for lie knew that I could have shoveled. liimVuf in'lesstbkn no time. - [Laughter.] ’ Mrs Partington ways: “It- is * confederate ahorne for the Cabinet people at Washington to allow our.men of war on fbo Potomac to hug the Miry Land Shore so {hitch. TOSs of Aayerttting. * • Advertisements ■wjllbo charged slpersqusre of 10 lines, one or three insertions, and2s cents for eveiy subsequent insertion-. Advertieementso t leu than-! 8 lines considered «&«. square.' .Thealibjoinediateit «ill be ohargedforQuarteriy, Half-Yearly and oi* rertisbmeafs: ity-' ' " i 8 MONTHS. ' 6 MONTHS. IB JIOSTE* Equate, - - - = $3,00 . ' $4,60 " s%b« 3 , dp-. - 6,08 f 6,60 B*oB S ' do., 1- . 7,00 ; 8,50 . i column, - ' 8;00 9,80 12,60 i _do. , 15,00 20,00 30,00 rColultnn,— jr; • i 25,00 , ■ 35,00 50,0( 1 Advertisements Bothoving tbennmber of in sortiV) i desired-marked upon t&m, will bo potlisled until oi. derod obi and charged accordingly.' 1 ' ■ Posterj, Handbills, BUI-Heada, Lotter-Heodr (Indrll kind? of,Jobbing done ibcjotmtrjestablish m<.Tts.<j. eonted neatly and. promptly. Jq Bt i ce?'>C« r,t 1 1 1) f'« and BLANKS constantly on band. • . . ■ NO, 20, ' -TYhiSkeyts'4'qoeer’institution. In-bringing out si'man's :<rae nature.ioughing gasis noth-* lag nfcomparidop/ i: " '■* ;v -■ \ .. , •?, Afull-faecd citizen; rmracd Ramsey, was yea* ferday Arrested by officer Smith, with a load ’of building material in his hat. -He was over hauled at Twentieth and Cbesnut streets; He, just before been ejected by some boys front a vacant lot, in which -he-had sung Yankee, Doodle,' for 1 five consecutive minutes, while standing on his head. He was taken in glory before Alderman Beitler, to explain the cause of bis sudden flow of spirits. „ . • r ’Sir. Ramsey, who measures five feet two by five 1 feet two, and has a complexion like that of a boiled lobsler, eicnlpatedbimeelf before tba, ifderman by a plea as folldvrs;’' ' ■■ ■■', “ Mister Alderman, I know Phr a little drank, lint it's nothing to speak of.'Wien in college I could translate off'hand, and be thirty 'per cant.’ TjfffSker than lam how. (A pausfe, during which Mri'Ramsey’s head sank upon his/bosom.) Mr. Alderman, I inawied - my wife, Oiivia, in the fall of *49. During all tjikt tiihe' a cradle in my Bouse had' been an uripedesstiry'piece of furniture —an empty slipy, likV 'a ndsl ' egg' of chalk. Yesterday morning, sip, 1 tbl^'ceased'to the case. Sir, tam hoy a father! I felt thh sublime : emo-. Ilona, of paternity,' Sir, and 1 my hiimble resi dence beCamC'tpb circumscribed to contairr’iftci I rushed'for the green fields, under the frond ether to give 1 vent to the emotions that Swelled, my heart. Thick of it, sir, a fd'c simile of iny eelf—a 'mipiafurs-cbpy of yoiir obedient ser-. vant, just.of rape poan'di four ounces iiv'uirdjl pbitin weight. I indulged In ah imbibition—* two. Or three imbibitions—and then seating' mySelf upoA a stone wall | sang the national, ahthein, “Hail'feuiurfiliia! happy landl .wap ..disturbed in this laudable exercise. I took to. the,street'; when the defiling hand of this uni* foriied official disturbed the current of my feeling.’* 7 - _' , r v “..Well, wh'at of, all/this ?”,iaid the Alder* man. - “If 1 you hard become a father idon’t, yin . tbink ytie should discipline yourself so as set a father’s example?” ' ■ " Mri Magistrate,”' continued the“ citizen,, wtib was’ fast -becoming- helpless , from - the 'fumes of the liquor 1 be htpl imbibed,Mr. Magistrate, 1 ifa. 'adjudicating Upon my qase r . tbink of Sara.'aud Abraham, sir.' 'lf my exul tation has been too demonstrative, sir, think JibV you Would fe.el, sir, at-7 —- ■ ; . _ With,this unfinished sentence upon his lips,. Mr. Ramsey aaok down into a chair. He, was. Taken'below by two gentlemen of The Tdserve. corps. They first Searched hrs'pioeketsf a pro cess that resulted in the discovery of a physi cian's prescription, a “patent-nursing botflb", and two'pairs of the smallest -possible infant's, -shoes. The articles were taken care of, while,- Mr. Ramsey was left to sleep off the effects of fiis rejoicing upon a pine bench. In the even-, ing he-was permitted to depart; Upon'recor-., ering from' his obfustication he appeared a, good deal surprised, and hastened away ex-, treroely humiliated at his position. The proba-, bility is that in all-his life he was never before in a similar condition. —North American. How he got his Wife. —John W was,. or is a genius. He made quite a pile in the. Mexican war, and invested it in a canal boat, running on the Ohio canal. John was a bach-, .elor, but in course of time was smitten by the. little, god. An old farmer, .who' lived in the. “heal” path, near Masillun, had two rosy-, cheeked daughters, but all. attempts to gain an, introduction, by their admirers, were foiled .by, the old man. But John wad not discouraged. A large,chunk of beef .bought,off the,-.mastiff,, and John proceeded to deliberately appropriate .tbe.various.articles Ranging on the yjqtbesdipe.i Ghemizettes and stockings, breeches, skirts and, crowded in inglorious confusion, into.the capacious bag carried,.by. John on this, occasion. They were brought aboard the.boat, and placed in the “ bow- cabin,” to pave the way for an introduction on tjhe-return trip- , •• A,week after the boat passed the ferm-housei on its.way north, and John jumped.aahore, and went to the hopso. He represented that one-, o[ bis drivers had stolen the .clothing, and that, be had discharged , him, and desired to restore, the articles. The young iadiea .were delighted,- as. the sack contained their “ Sunday ,fixings.’' The old map said; ’ ' I, qlways thought that all the boatmen, .would steal; and lam delighted to find due .honest one. You must call again captain.” . The captain, did call again,.and soon after •nwuTied thp “ youngest,”- On the wedding night, he told his wife the rwse he bad used to gain an introduction, and the old man gave orders that no more clothing ■should-be jeft “out o’ night.” , .Whisky and Newspapers. — A glass of,whi.-- : ■kj. is manufactured from, perhaps a.dmten grainsiof.ourn, the;value,of which is too small |to be estimated. A pint of this mixture sells for one shilling, and. if of a gnodbrand, .ia.o,m-, sidered well; worth the, money. It is drank in, a,minute, or. two —it.fires the brain, sharpens, the appetites, deranges and weakens the phvsi | cal system. , On the same sideboard* upyn . whichthis pernicious beverage is served, lies a, I newspaper.; It is covered with half a.million ■ of types—it brings, intelligence from the four, quarters; of the, globe., The. newspaper costs,, less than'tbo glass of grog—the Juice of a few, grains of,corn.;.but it is no less strange than, tree. that, there-is a large.portion of .the cum-, •naunity who. : think corn juice, cheap and. the newspaper, dear, r--. : • : .vSome.tnueioteaoher-oncevvrote that the ‘.‘art. of [playing on a violin requires the nicest per-, ceptiqn, and the most sensibility of any, art in. tha world." Upon which .an .editor-, cemmentsjn the following manner; “ The art ofjpubliahing a newspaper, and making, if pay.," andat tb* same time have Jt everybody.' beats fiddlin’higher than a kite.’' y.y gm TFe know a good-natured bachelor so geoer-, rOds that, poor fellow, he would give evea.hi*. heart away, if be copfd only find as interest-, object to take it. “ Yerifoq. In Vino.?
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers