B W.:Bum:a
VOLUME 25.
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CTSTIE;
ICEMiEE!
I knew her first when spring had come
With all her sunny hours,
And thought her but a summer friend,
To fade with summers flowers.
I know the fairest flower of earth
Must fade in wintry weather,
While friendship. if of heavenly birth,
Would l•.ve to bloom fcfc, , vo.. •
And thlIE 1110 summer rnunthe p:.SSed
Our love inere::sing ever;
Until wt.s formed a silken tie
Which naught in lite can firever.
'She has a gentle loving eye,
A voice so glad:and free ;
Her heart so full of love and truth ;
So warm with sympathy.
There whispers from her beaming eye,
A voice which tells to me, •
That no deceit can taint a heart
So void of jealousy.
'Mwtsamtsfer!s=waee.rcandislut - drbowess
We wander anm in arm,
And e'en cold winter's stormy hours,
For us have many a charm. •
Should sorrow crowd tny.wavering
And chilling storms attend,
In Gustie, I am sure to find,
faithful-fr
Thus through the changing, scenes of life,
May we unchanging live,
Bringing to each that real bliss,
Which only love can give.
gistrilaurous alrading.
Published by request
Reformed Church Synod
[From the Chembersburg Repository.]
Mr. Editor—DEAß Sin.—l observe in
the RErwrrottY of _the 25th ult., an ar
ticle from the Harrisburg Telegraph on
the action of the Reformed Church, at its
late meeting in Cincinnati. The article
in some important points misrepresents
the action of the Synod, and as an act of
justice I request you to insert the follow
ing. As a member of that Synod I can
vouch for the correctness of the statement
in this article, as I wag present during
the sections of the Synod.
Re pectfully,
To the Editor of the Lancaster Evcning Express:
I desire the use of your columns to
make a statement concerning the import
of the action of the General Synod of the
Reformed Church, lately in session in
'Cincinnati, Ohio. In the article you pub
lished last Friday evening, copied from
the Harrisburg Telegraph, there are state
ments made and deductions drawn, which
demand explanation flout a standpoint
different from that of the author of that
-article. I regret very much that such en
article has been • published. It is in ex
ceedingly bad taste to drag controversal
church questions of this character before
the general public, through the medium
of the secular press, because it is almost
impossible for this channel to remain o
pen ter a fair hearing on lyab sides of the
qt.estion. .1.39 t as the matter is thrust
upon the public in this way, and r,s the
writer in the Telegroph his seen fit to put
his construction upon, the action of the
General Synod, it may be well to give Inv
views of the proceedings; inasmuch as
enjoyed the privilege of attending all its
sersions.
Ile states that the decision in the Su:-
per appeal eat,e, "involved the theological
and doctrinal i:-.:7ues in the Church, and
distinctly pronounced hi r as regarding
the doctrinal position or Ursiuus College
-and its the-ological teaching, consistent
with her standards and worthy of her Call
fidonce."
This deduction of the writer of the ar
ticle in question is altogether gratuitous,
and has not the Elighest foundation in
fact. The qtttiou involved in the Su
per appeal case was not -a doctrinal or
theological one in any sense. It wag • a
question of Church order or Church law,
not of doctrine. The theological position
.of Dr. Bomberger was not on trial ; and
could the general ',Alit: have access to
the debate before the Synod and the plea
-dings or the counsel 'on both s'des of the
case, it would clearly appear that there
was no theological point brought out in
it, nor any doctrinal issue settled by the
decision of the S nod.
A brief history'of the case is all that is
necessary to settle this point, and show
that what I state is true. At the meeting
4)f the Synod of the Reformed Church in
the U. S. (Eastern Synod) hekl in Mar
tinsburg, West Virginia, in October, '72,
the following action was taken
WitettEas, The Constitution of the Re
formed Church declares the office o
Teachers of Theology to be u distinct
Tice:
• And Whereas, according to the same
organic law the Synod alone has the pow
er to establish and govern a Theological
Seminary,and appoint professors or Teach
ers of Theology
And !flcrcaa, ..i .. :.: l l 7 .:;i*ter has the right
asame the office of Teacher of Thcolo
gy, anless he be ghoien by. a majority of
the cotes of the Synod, and has been duly
inaugurated by eking the prescribed oath
of aloe:
And Whereas, Teachers of Theology,
Are required to prescribe a coarse of stu
dy. for the studentS, and conduct all their
;instructions under the direction and su
pervision of a Board of Visitors, appoint
oad by the Synod :
Amid 'Whereas, according to public an
nouncement; the Rev. J. 11. A. Bomber
ger, D. D.,
a member of the Philadelphia
Classis, and President of Ursinus College,
a chartered literary-institution, is, along
with others, conducting a Theological
class or school, and preparing roen for
the - Ministry of the Gospel, by giving
these professedly a full course of . Theolog-
Ica! instruction, although he has ant been
appointed to the office of Teacher dif The
vicgy, and has never been inaugurated a
gm...ably to the requirements of the Con
s titu tion ; therefore, Resolved. •
a. That the conduct of the said mem
ber of the Mllsdelphia Classis ill assum
ing the office of Teacher of Theology and
in giving the theological instruction inde
pendently ofAny proper ecclesiastical su
pervision and direction, is contrary to the
Constitution and government of the Re
formed Cherch, and therefore disorder-
ly.
2. That this Synod hereby enjoins up
on the albresaid minister of the Philadel
phia Classic forthwith to desist from this
disorder.
3. That a committee of. three be ap
appointed to communicate , an official,co
py of this action to the Rev._Dr. Bomber
_ er,ancl_in,_case-he-_dites-noresp_ect_thiq,
injunction, itshall be their duty, and they
are hereby directed to institute such con•
stitutional proceedings, as shall be neces
sary to maintain the order of the Church.
From this action Rev. H. W. Super,
complained to the General Synod and at
its 'at( meeting in Cincinnati the com
plaint wash Lsustained i —and--the
t) 111 ';h r -
Lot towing-resolutions-a dopted-as- the-sense
of the General Synod in sustaining the
complaint;
"1. That the General Synod has decid
ed that the.coaduct of the Rev. J. H. A.
Bomberger, and those associated with
him in Ursinus College, in giving theo.
logical instructions at the request of the
Board of Directors, is not disorderly nor
contrary to the constitution of the Re
formed' Church, although they have not
been invested with the office of Teacher
of Theology by, nor are conducting their
theological teachings under the direction
of the Eastern Synod.
"2. That the General Synod has decid
ed that the Synod of the Reformed
Church in the United States; acted un
constitutional!) in assuming original jur
isdiction in the case of one of the minis
ters of the Classis of Philadelphia.
From this statement of the facts in the
case, without drawing any deductions of
my own, it seems to me that any one can
see just what was intended by the action
of the Synod. The Synod of Martinsburg
alleged ilmt Dr. Bomberger was pursuing
a disorderly course in establishing a the
ological school and assuming the office of
teacher of theology, without the consent
or authority of the Synod within whose
bounds said school was being carried for
ward. This action of the Synod of Mar
tinsburg was based upon what it believed
to he i correct interpretation of the Con
stitution of the church, which read as fol
lows:
J. HEYSER.
ART. M. As it is of the utmost impor
tance that the Professors of Theology be
sound in the faith, have the requisit abil
ity to teach, and possess the confidence of
the Church, they shall, for the greater se
curity, always be chosen by a majority of
the votes of the Synod. One or more
candidates shall be nominated and the
Synod shall thereupon apFoint the day
of election.
ART. 19. At this inauguration, a pro
fessor elect, shall solemnly affirm the fol
lowing declaration, as by an oath, in the
presence of God, in a public assembly :
[This is a declaration of fidelity to the
Canonic - al Scriptures, as the only rule of
fifith and practice, 'and that the doctrine
of the Heidelberg Catechism is the doc
trine of the Scriptures, &e.—En.]
Atom. 62. Each Synod may maintain or
establish such Theological and other in
stitutions within its bounds as it may
deem necessary; and shall have full c,m
trol over them, in all respects. The Pro
fe,:nsurs and other offices of such institu
tions, shall be amenable only to the Syn
od• to which they may respectively belong.
The Synod of Martinsburg ( Eastern) -
believed that under these provisions of the
cOnstitniion, it was not competent for any
minister to assume the office of teacher of
theology, no matter by what body other
than the Synod he might be requested to
do so ; and as it was a matter of public
notoriety that Dr. Bomberger was teach
ing a theological school, it believed his
conduct to be disorderly—that is, a vio
lation of church order. It did not charge
him with leaching heresy ; it did not care
to inquire what was the .character of 'his
teachings ; but it believed that he had no
right to teach theology in a public insti
tution without the sanction or election of
the Synod under whose jurisdiction he
ought to stand as a minister of the Re
formed Church.
Can any one see iii this action of the
Synod of Martinsburg an arraignment of
Dr. Bomberger .for bis theological views
or his doctrinal position? Dues the ac
tion allude to, or can it be construed to
mean anything in connection with points
of theology in controversy in the Reform
ed Church ? Clearly not. Aud it was of
this action that Rev. Super complained
to the General Synod. He did not com
plain that Dr. Bomberger was accused of
heresy, or that the teaching in his thpa.
logical school xras unsound Not, this,
but he - complained against •the action of
; :‘s
WAYNESBORO', FRANKLIN COUNTY, THURSDAY, JANUARY 9, 1873.
the Eastern knod in attempting to re-,
strain Dr: B. from going forward with.bis,l
theological school ; he complained against
the interpretation which that Synod put
upon the constitution of the church, and .
carried the matter up to the General Spa
tod to get its judgment npon these ques
tions of .church law and church order. Lia
full hammy with this view of the case,
it will he seen that the General Synod, Lu
sustaining , his complaint, say that the'cone
duct of pr. 8., and those associated with
him, is not disorderly nor contrary to the
constitution of the church, although they
have not been invested with the office of
teacher of theology by, ncr are conduit
ing their theological teaching. under, the
direction of the Eastern Synod.
Is this,distinctly pronouncing the , Gen- '
eral Synod, as regarding the doctrinalpo
sition and theological teaching of Dr. 8.,
as consistent with the standards of the
Reformed Church and 'worthy of her con
fidence? Why, Ido not, believe that Dr.
B. will thank his over zealous friend for
going so far out of the way to attempt to
get an endorsemet fur his orthodoxy—
that was not called in question in "this
matter ; and however much difference of
opinion there may be in the Reformed
Church upZin controversial points of the
ology, it is unwise and almost criminal to
attempt to twist so plain a question as
that involved in this case, into a matter
of doctrinal or theological controversy.
In the statement of the Dunn complaint
case, the writer in the Telegraph is equal
ly unfortunate; His case I will state as
concisely as I can. , It is an established
custom in the Reformed - Church - to raise
_inoney_for_the_yarioug_benivelent_opera
tions of the church, by assessment or ap
pointment. The Synod, for example, de
termines to 'lase a certain sum for bene
ficiary education, missions, &c., and ap
portions this amount upon the Chassis.=
The Classis, in turn, assiss the amount
they are expected to raise, upon the con•
regatioas. This, I say, is an established
1 - custour; — and - in proof of it, I need only
say that the General Synod, at its late
meeting, assessed upon the Eastern Synod
' various sums for contingent expenses and
domestic missions. Acting upon this long
established principle, Mercersburg Classis
resolved to raise a certain amountfor ben
eficiary- education, and in order to do it,.
assessed it (or apportioned it) upon the
charges or congregations within its bounds.
Its action was based upon the general
principle, that ministers are servants of
the Lord, in his church, and not servants
. ofthe people; and they are shepherds, aod
not merely sheep, and hence that it is
their duty to lay before the people com
mitted to their charge and care, the va
rious objects of benevolence designated by
the church, in order that the people, in
their capacity as a congregation, may
have an opportunity to contribute toward
the same. To this principle Elder Dunn
objected, and denied the right of the Chas
sis to command her ministers to
,bring
these objects of benevolence before the peo
ple. Huntingdon charge, in which Elder
Dunn was an elder, through him refused
to pay its assessment for beneficiary edu
cation, claiming the right to -ignore the
authority of the Classis in the premises,
and to devote the contributions of the
people into any channel the consistory
might select.
The Classis of Mercersburg took a dif
ferent view of the matter. It said that.
when a collection for beneficiary educa
tion was taken up in a congregation, that
it must of course, be for the beneficiary
students under the care of Classis, inas
much as the churches had no official
knowledge of any others ; that it was im
plied when the collection for this purpose
was announced to the people, that it was
to be devoted for the support of these
young men ; that to appropriate it to the
support, of any others, was au alienation
of fundS and ought not to be tolerated.—
Bear in mind, that neither Mercersburg
Chassis nor the Synod of Martinshrg,
which sustained the view of the Classis,
assumed that individuals might not with
hold their contributions for this purpose,
and give them to any other object in or
out of the Reformed Church ; no attempt
has ever been made to interfere with the
freedom of the individual in this respect;;
but it was thought that in order to main
tain some semblance of church organiza
tion, the pastors within the Classis ought'.
to be required, at least , to present the ob
jects of benevolence designated by the
church to -their people; and that until
the needs of the church in these various
operations were met, no public or congre
gational collection should be taken for a
foreign object. Not having the - action of
Mercersburg Chassis at hand, I cannot
give it word for word, but have endeav
ored fairly to state the principle of church
order it involves. It was against the en
forcement of this principle—church order
—that Elder Drum complained ; and if
any one can see it in the great theological
and doctrinal issues which du exist, not
only in the Reformed Church, but in ev
ery aurch in the land, their mental vi
sion must be much keener than, mine.—
Well, the General Synod sustained Elder
Dunn's complaint, and in order to defiue
what it meant by this action, it passed the
following resolution :
Resolved, That no consistory or other
judicatory has any right to alienate any
funds from the purposes. for which they
were contributed; but .that consistories
have the undoubted right to designate the
direction which funds in their hands for
benevolent purposes mall take, when not
specially designated by the donors.
The first'pert of the resolution is just
what Mercershurg Chassis said, and hence
quite a number of the members of Synod,
unwilling to place the General Synod in
the ridiculous position of sustaining a
s e mi lain aza-Inft al most precisely aaa 1
ogus action fa the lower court, and then
making the action complained of its own,
refused to vote for such a plain contra
diction. These are the facts in these two
cases; and I am willing, to submit them
both to the public and the membership of
the Reformed Church, to judge if either
one involved in any sense any.docfrinal
or theological points. It is true that the
majority of the, Synod was "low church,"
in the common acceptation of that word;
and I am heartily glad it was, in view of
the character of the work it did and the
record it has made for itself in history.
Early Marrying.
Morally, mentally, physically, prema
ture marriage is a mistake among women;
and yet every day we can see this mis
take sanctioned by the offices of religion,
blessed by the consent of friends, and en
tered into with all the eclat which should
be reserved for a triumph rather than a
trial.
"Morally," it is a mistake, because
few women are fit, at an age when they
should be "under authority," to rule a
houeshold prudently; since uo atmos
phere is so dangerous for an undeveloped
soul as that of the almost absolute power
which is generally delegated to the young
wife . . She may now do whatever is pleas
ing in her own eyes. She has been freed
from parental restraint, and any other
has a circumference so undefined that it
is narrowed and enlarged according to
the will and phial sense of her who
draws it. Angels might fear to walk in
such- a broad freedom as is given by love
and suference to the majority of our
young married women—women by court
esy, children in the regard of both law
and-wisdom.
"Mentally," it is a mistake, because
with marriage all mental growth is sus
pended in the large majority of women,
Education, being regarded as simply a
means-toward an end, is abandoned as
soon as the end is obtained. At may be
argued that all' education from-such-a
motive is a mistake to begin with. True,
but then it is one which keeps the culprit.
in the society of wisdom, and it is just
possible the mind under such influence
might arrive at a juster conception of its
worth and valve.
"Physict 1 y,'' it is a mistake, because at
the early age at which many marriages
are made, the human form has not arriv
ed perfected strength ;. and duties and re
sponsibilities are laid upon it for which
nature has made no adequate provision.
Vitality is destroyed quicker than it is
generated, and early and rapid decay. of
both mind and body are the results. Thep
the is said to die "by the visita
tion of God," though in nine eases of ten
it is only the simple and inevitable result
of laws of nature pitilessly and persistent
ly broken.—From Science of Health.
Useful Recipes.
SUBSTITUTE FOR PHYSIC.—For physic,
substitute exercise and temperance. Bet
ter health and more 'money in the pocket
will be among the happy results of the
change.
Tug FEET.—As the feet hept more
closely covered than any other part of
the boly during the day, they should be
'thoroughly washed and rubbed till dry,
every night. Impurities gather as the
result of the confined perspiration, and
these should be removes bethre sleeping.
However inconvenient to do so, we repeat
it, wash the feet every night.
MUFFLING UP.—The more a man bun
dles up to keep from colds, the more he
may. Some persons do nothing but watch
againt exposures, and keep themselves
very busy. The best safeguards are dai
ly exercise in the open air, and the free
use of cold water, taking care not to be
gin the use of mufflers.
WHO REQUIRES MOST SLEEP ?-;-Those
who think most, require most sleep. 'lime
gained -from necessary sleep is not saved,
but lost Mind and body will both suf
fer. Most people, however, do not think
enough to make early rising particularly
dangerous. It is the hard working pro
fessional man, the close
,studeut, or the
man of business with many cares upon his
mind, who suffers most from loss of sleep.
—Science of Health.
WrFE.—This good old , Saxton word
(urif) is, after all, the dearest and most
sacred word in the whole - vocabulary of
love. Around it clusters all that is most
beautiful, chaste ' and permanent in the
tender passion. Into whatever forbidden
paths the heart of man may wander,
still it must return at last, to the hallow
ed name of wife for consolation anti rest.
Any other relation between the sexes, how
ever, alluring to the imagination, invari
ably ends in wretchedness, in shame, and
degradatb.n. Happy is the man who can
sing with Robert Burns :
"She is a winsome wee thing,
She is a handsome wee thing,
She is a bonnie wee thing,
This sweet wee wife o'
Whose - heart does not beat softly and
and joyously within - . him when he reads
the touching picture of a wife's virtuous
and enduring love, in Burns' song of "John
Anderson, my Jo?" -
Two Mm .—Said the late Dr. McLoed
"The man I call sectarian is the. man who
is not contented with the blessings of num
ber one in the street, but whois always
throwing stones or mud at number two;
who is not content with his own wife and
family, but talks and gossips about an
other man's flintily. Give me the man
who has honest, earnest convictions about
his own church, and•l extend to him the
right hand of fellowship. Love your
church, and do all you can for it; but
try and imagine, at the same time, that
other men are as conscientious as you are,
and-gico atom the right hand of fellow.
ship when they do all they can for their
church,"
- LOCAL AND azmiERAL APB. Ewa
THE BETTTER .
There's a better word than this, my friend
Bright bettertworld above,
Where hosts angelic, deathless blend,
Their rays'of light and loxe.;
Not light, like day's dull rays below,
That comes anon, then dims and dies;
Not love, like seatide's - ebb and flow,
That changes with the hour that flies.
There's a better world than this, my friend,
Far better world of bliss;
What stores of joys forever lend
Blessings 12 e'er found in ;
Where grows supreme Jehovah's throne,
'Mid coutrs more chaste than crystal
cleat,
And grouped in one celestial zone • -
Rapt saints of ages all appear.
'Tis the life of love, in Leaven, my friend,
• "Life of the world to come;"
Whither poor souls at last shall wend
When Time's sad round is run—
licKne to the "Father of Light" and rest 1
Up from the mouldering grave;
Into the mansions•of happiness
On the other•eide of the wave.
The Year of Life.
The life of man has, not inaptly, been
compared to that revolution of ear t h
which gives us successively the seasons of
spring, summer; autumn and winter. As
tender . buds burst into being . softly de.
seending showers and thin mists are di-
persed by sunbeams in spring, and gradu-
Tdly assume th — elfill splendor of coloring
and grace of form which adorn the chil
dren of Flora, so infancy nurtured by
barental care, grows into youth, humanity
eing developed in childhood like the rose
in April.
Then comes manhood with its stern ro
il lr he-
solves, its strength and maturity—when
pride of life, desire for glory, emulative
zeal, and far reaching design, mark the
character, no less than well-develop e d
limbs, stateliness of form, and dignity of
carriage indicate the perfect man. This,
then, is the summer of life; every man
corn • rehends the language which so de
signates it as at once figurative and truth
ful. In this grand stage of human exist
ence. nerved by power, the arm of the
warrior executes deeds of heroism, the
tongue of the orator inflames or subdues
crowds, and the pen of the author diffuses
Lover an entire world majestic thought and
burning eloquence. At this golden epoch
of life how mighty are the sons of genius
for good or for ill I The pale sculptor, who
sits, hour by hour, embodying in death
cold marble his own supernatural idea—
the passionate poet, who weaves into flow-
ery song his angel visions—the man of
science who pier ces, deep amidst the Bi
crets of nature, whether contemplating
heaven's lofty arch, earth's vast profound,
or the wonders of ocean, devotes his sum
mer of life to the eutusiasm of earnest pur
suit, for enthusiasm is a quality of genius,
and earnestness is the sure concomitant of
enthusiasm.
Ah,.hut the grand, rich autumn comes
on apace. Pomona has painted all her
rich fruits with mystic
,coloring, vainly
emulated by art—ripe hangs the harvest
on each hill ; each valley is teeming with
abundant gilts from the bounteous hands
of Ceres, crowned with her wheaten sheaf
and holding aloft her long desired comm.
colia. What does the autumn of life
bring tc a man? A glorious harvest of
high achievement, provided its spring has
not been wasted in. idleness or degraded
by vice. Even honest labor is now re•
warded where higher gifts have not ena
bled the industrious and the virtuous to
win renown. As they all sowed so shall
they reap, for the Lord of the harvest is
just, and man is not their judge. Perhaps
the good man's recompense may not be
awarded him in his autumn time on earth,
but not the less is he in the care of high
Heaven, - and none the less surely will he
obtain his meed. •
Last Comes winter. Dead and wither
ed are all earth's flowers. Amidst bleak
winds and chilling skies the dying year
folds his dark mantle about him and joins
the mournful procession, headed by years
beyond the flood. Thousands after thou
sands, they grimly march away, and the
great muse of history albne dimly records
their advent and departure, noting here
and there.the fluctuations of empires and
half-disclosed mutations of earth. As
winter to the year, is death to man. Then,
too, he closes his account with Time. Vas
ter existence opens before his enlarged vi
sion, and awaking to the, life of gods,' he
realizes _ fully the all-important though
fleeting character of his year of life—
metaphorically so-called.
THE SABBATH,—The Sabbath day is
the beautiful river in the. %%eek of Time:
The other days are Li übled streams, whose
angry waters are disturbed by the count
less crafts that float upon them. But the
sure river Sabbath Bows on to Eternal
Rest, chanting the . sublime music of the
silent, throbbing spheres, and' timed by
the pulsations of the everlasting life.—
Beautiful river Sabbath glide . Bear
forth on thy bosom the poor, tired spirit,
to the rest which it seeks, and the weary
watching soul to the eildless bliss.-
A finished life—a life which has made
the best of all the materials granted to it,
and through which, be. its web dark or
bright, its pattern . tlear or clouded, can
now be traced plainly the hand of the
great Designer; surely this is worth liv
ing for! It has fulfilled its appointed
course, and returns tothe . Giver of all
breath pure as•he - gavelt. • Nor will' lie
forget when he counteth no bin ierfela.
A joyless life is worse to bear than one
of active grief.
BY SALLIE EVASS.
ANYTHING ELBE BUT 3Olilt7i—Onc.o
upon a time, a big, strappling, tOtkward
youth, fresh from Vermont, enured the
Dunbar Academy at Byfield, Mate., for a
little erudition, which is doled out at this
Temple of Minerva at economick prices.
At that place—we know not hoi at is at
present—the boys and girls were'kept in
one apartment; only the middla.i sI e
parted them. One day this v etanont
strippling, who had been helping , one of
the girls through a hard sum—be was a
cute in cyphering—thought it not more
than t'air that he ehould take toll; for his
valuable services ; accordingly Fie threw
his stalwart arm around the rosy damsel
.and--gave her a sly, rousing smack which
started the whole assembly.
"Jedediah Tower, come up herd," roar
ed the preceptor.
The delinquent appeared, his face glow
ing with blushes like a red-hot warming
pan—and looking as sly as a niny.
"Hold out your hand, sir," said the ped
agogue. "I'll teach you nut to act thus
in this institution."
The huge .paw was extended to a hori
zontal line towards the instructor, who
surveyed its broad surface with a mathe
matical eye—calculating how many
strokes of his small ferule it would-take
to cover the large number of square inches
it contained.
"Jedediah," at length he said, "'this is
the first time you have been called upon
for any delinquency ; now, sir, if you will
say you are sorry for what you has done,
I will let you off this time-without punish
ment. •
"Sorry !" exclaimed the youngest, strik
ing—an attitude-of—pre-indignation -; "sor
ry !no sir! lam not. And I will do jest
so. again if I have-a chiince. So put . on,
old fellow, just as hard as you like. By
the jumpin Jehogaphat,
I'd_stand_here_
and let you lick me till kingdom cum a
fore I'd be sorry for that—by thubder I
would."
SHARP AS WELL AS - WISE.-A
fin
deo priest called in all the members of a
large family, one of whom was known to
have committed a theft, and addressed
them thus : "Take each of you one of
those sticks, which are of an equal length
and put them under your pillows to-night.
I do not at present know the offender,
but you must return the sticks to me to
morrow morning; and the one belonging
to the thief will have grown an inch dur
ing the night." The family retired to
rest; but before he went to sleep, the man
who bad committed the theft, thinking to
outwit the priest, cunningly cut off an
inch from his stick, firmly believing, by
this means, to attain the length of the
others by next morning. The sticks were
returned, and, by comparing them, the
priest was instantly ble to pitch upon
the offender, to his great surprisa and dis
may.
ilere is another instance of similar a
cuteness.
In a certain city a large quantity of
cotton has been stolen. The cotton-deal
ers brought their complaint before the
king. Notwithstanding all the search
that was made, the thieves remained un
discovered. An .aimer said that .if he
,vere commanded, he would discover the
thieves, the king ordered:him to do so.—
The aimer went home, and under pretense
of making a teat, invited all the men of
the city, small and great. When all the
people met together, and had seated them
saves,*the aimer joined the company, and
looking every man in the face, said :
"What ill-born, impudent blockheads
these men are, who, having stole, the cot
ton, are come to my feast with it sticking
on their beards !"
Some persons instantly put their lands
to their beards, and thereby discovered
themselves to be thieves. The king re
warded the tamer for the contrivance.
THE CAPTATH'S REQUEST. - "My lads,"
when about to take command of a ship,
reading his orders to the crew on the quar
ter deck, "There is one law t any deter
mined to make i and I shall insist on it be
ing kept. It is a favor indeed,-I ask of
you, and which, as a British officer, I ex
pect will be granted by a crew of British
seamen. What say you my lads ? are you
willing to grant your new captain one fa..
vor ?"
"Ay, ay," cried all hinds, "let's hear
what it is, sir."
. .
"Well, my lads, it is this: that you
must allow me to swear the first oath in
this ship. Ico man on board must swear
an oath before I do; I am determined to
swear the first oath on board. What say
you my lads, • will you grant me this fa
vor?"
The men stared and stood for a mo
ment quite at a loss what to say. "They
were taken," one said, "all aback.' "They
were brought up," said another, "all stand.
ing." The appeal seemed so reasonable,
and the manner of the . captain so kind and
friendly, that a general burst from the
ship's company answered :
"Ay, ay, sir," with their' usual three
cheers.
Swearing was thus wholly abolished in
the ship.
THE LOCAL PAPER.--The N. Y. n 748
says of the local paper : "You owe it to
yourselves to rally liberally to its support,
and exact from it as able, high-toned a
character as you do from any educator in
your midst. It is in no sense beneath
notice and..care—unl es s you yourself are
beneath notice and care,-for it is• your
representative. Indeed, in its character,
it is the summatitm-o€theimportunce, in
terest and ivelfare of you. all.. It is the
aggregate of your own consequence, and
you cannot ignore it without miserably
depreciating yourselves .R
We go to the grave of a friend, saying,
"A mania dead ;" but angels throng about
him, saying, "A man is born."
$2,00 PER YEA R
NUMBER 31
t • 111141 Sitsior.
An editor answ6ra a challenge, "141717`•
I want to die I ean7Poot myself?'
...;ie/
. .
Boys aredike vinegar the more "moth
er" there is in them the sparper they be
come.
Do not cut off a big lower limb, 'unless
you are a renter and do not care what be.
comes of ale tree when your tune is out.
Cream may be fr en by simply piirt\.
ing it into a glass ssel, and then plac
ing the whole Wan bachelor's besty,"- .
The marriay: service, in the opinion
a Western paper, should be changed to .
read, "Whc 4laie take this woman. 2"
and the groom shall answer, "I dare."
"Now, Johnny Wells, can you tell me
what is meant by anairacle?" "Yes, teach
er, mother says if you don't marry the new
deputy sheriff, it will be a mirecle."
"Are you not afraid that whiskey will
get up in your head r' asked nstranger 'of
a man he saw drinking at a bar. "No,"
said the toper; "this liquor is too weak to
climb."
"The wind's getting round," remarked
Bibbs to his friend Buggins, the other day
when it changed from east to west. °Glad
of it," replied Bdggins ; it's been sharp
long enough."
An eccentric old fellow, who lives along ..
side of a graveyard, was asked if, it was
not an unpleasant location. "No," said .
he, "1 never jined places in all my I:fe
with a set of neighbors.that .minded their
business - s - o - stilldy as tlie-,,VW.
A. lady has - a Sunday School class in
one of the churches. Two brothers at
tend it alternately. One Suuday - a lady
asked one of the boys if he ivould be Gera
on the following Sabbath ? "Oh !.no," says
he, ".I can't; it's ray turn to saw-wood !"
Sonie country editor gets off 'the foll O
wing : "The Battle of Life.—Courtship is
the engagement; the proposal is the as
sault; and matrimony the victor.". Then
we conclude that a treaty of peace is made
on the appearance of the Envoy
Extraor
dinary.
A young man engaged in making him
self attractive to a young lady was taken
With a violent fit of coughing, and brought
up two marbles he had swallowed when a
boy. The young lady dismissed him.—
She said she didn't want to marry a stone
quarry.
"Pa." said a little seven year fellow, "I
guess "our man, Ralph, is a good Chris
tian." "How so my boy ?" querried the pa
rent, "Why, pa, I• read in the Bible that
the wicked shall not live out half his days
-and Ralph says he haS lived, 04 eve;
since he was a little boy." ,
During a late conference Mho following
conversation was oyerbeard between two
newsboys : "I say, Jim, what's the mean
ing of so minty Ministers being here, al
together?" "Why," answet ed Jint scorn
fully, "they always meet once a year to
swan sermons."
"I wonder how' they make luci fe r
matches," said a young married lady to
her husband, with whom she was always
quarreling. ,
"The process is very simple," y said the,
husband, "I once made one."
"How did you manage it - ?" ' `,' •
"By leading you to the alter."' -
A German . peddler sold a man a liquid
for the extermination of bed-bugs...".Anil
how do you use it?" inquired the :mau. •
after he had bought it.
"Shust you ketch de pug; squeeze, him
a leetle, put one drop on hum tongue, au'ir
by my' ircumstances he's right ofra-deat , •
bug!"
"I could kill him in hall the time,
replied the indignant purchaser,. y
stem ping on it - •
"Veil," ,
calmly exclaimed the Girman;
"dat is a good way, too, so long as yen
kill him."
How dangerous to defer those moraerk.
tons reformations which the Conscience ii
solemnly preaching to the - heart ! If they
are neglected, the difficulty and indiaposi:
tion are increasing - every month. Thp
mind is receding, degree after degree;frOgi
the warm and hopeful , zone, till its last it
will enter the artic circle and become:fix
ed in relerttlfts and eternal ice. 7 -John
Foster.
BEArrY.—Nevei lose an opiortnnity .
of seeing anything that is beautiful. Beau
ty is God's handwriting, a way-side sac
rament ; welcome it in every fair face, .
in every fair flower, and thank Him for
it, the fountam of loveliness ; and drink
it in, simply and earnestly, with your tiez;
it is a charmed, draught, a cup of blest
sing.
Labor canquors all things. Eyerytning
that we do has to have a certain anaiiint,
of labor expended on it. :to bring it to - a
state - of perfection. • However difficult it '
may app.eskr. howeverimpossible it may
seem to be, remember if you attack it
with energy and labor with your alight,
your efforts will be crowned- with suceesa.
A sneer is the wetrpen of the weak.—
Like all other evil weapons it is always
cunningly ready to our hands, and sher)
id WIWI:: enbUn. hatitlig than th.)
point. But how Many noble aorta hero
been - withered by its verminous stab, and
festered with its subtile