B W.:Bum:a VOLUME 25. , eta Vortrgi ;"1, ) f:" - --‘ - ". •-• ' -'"' ''. 7 '''' IV ,' L , %?- 1 ; 1 .,' . .' ,e• - • - 2 ?-!t:1_ ' ~ l) 7 ' i i ' ' ', --7g-- - h' tyl . eP,....... - - .. " , ! I tfi . , ' .. I ~.., ey .. ,,, - 1i,..., CTSTIE; ICEMiEE! I knew her first when spring had come With all her sunny hours, And thought her but a summer friend, To fade with summers flowers. I know the fairest flower of earth Must fade in wintry weather, While friendship. if of heavenly birth, Would l•.ve to bloom fcfc, , vo.. • And thlIE 1110 summer rnunthe p:.SSed Our love inere::sing ever; Until wt.s formed a silken tie Which naught in lite can firever. 'She has a gentle loving eye, A voice so glad:and free ; Her heart so full of love and truth ; So warm with sympathy. There whispers from her beaming eye, A voice which tells to me, • That no deceit can taint a heart So void of jealousy. 'Mwtsamtsfer!s=waee.rcandislut - drbowess We wander anm in arm, And e'en cold winter's stormy hours, For us have many a charm. • Should sorrow crowd tny.wavering And chilling storms attend, In Gustie, I am sure to find, faithful-fr Thus through the changing, scenes of life, May we unchanging live, Bringing to each that real bliss, Which only love can give. gistrilaurous alrading. Published by request Reformed Church Synod [From the Chembersburg Repository.] Mr. Editor—DEAß Sin.—l observe in the RErwrrottY of _the 25th ult., an ar ticle from the Harrisburg Telegraph on the action of the Reformed Church, at its late meeting in Cincinnati. The article in some important points misrepresents the action of the Synod, and as an act of justice I request you to insert the follow ing. As a member of that Synod I can vouch for the correctness of the statement in this article, as I wag present during the sections of the Synod. Re pectfully, To the Editor of the Lancaster Evcning Express: I desire the use of your columns to make a statement concerning the import of the action of the General Synod of the Reformed Church, lately in session in 'Cincinnati, Ohio. In the article you pub lished last Friday evening, copied from the Harrisburg Telegraph, there are state ments made and deductions drawn, which demand explanation flout a standpoint different from that of the author of that -article. I regret very much that such en article has been • published. It is in ex ceedingly bad taste to drag controversal church questions of this character before the general public, through the medium of the secular press, because it is almost impossible for this channel to remain o pen ter a fair hearing on lyab sides of the qt.estion. .1.39 t as the matter is thrust upon the public in this way, and r,s the writer in the Telegroph his seen fit to put his construction upon, the action of the General Synod, it may be well to give Inv views of the proceedings; inasmuch as enjoyed the privilege of attending all its sersions. Ile states that the decision in the Su:- per appeal eat,e, "involved the theological and doctrinal i:-.:7ues in the Church, and distinctly pronounced hi r as regarding the doctrinal position or Ursiuus College -and its the-ological teaching, consistent with her standards and worthy of her Call fidonce." This deduction of the writer of the ar ticle in question is altogether gratuitous, and has not the Elighest foundation in fact. The qtttiou involved in the Su per appeal case was not -a doctrinal or theological one in any sense. It wag • a question of Church order or Church law, not of doctrine. The theological position .of Dr. Bomberger was not on trial ; and could the general ',Alit: have access to the debate before the Synod and the plea -dings or the counsel 'on both s'des of the case, it would clearly appear that there was no theological point brought out in it, nor any doctrinal issue settled by the decision of the S nod. A brief history'of the case is all that is necessary to settle this point, and show that what I state is true. At the meeting 4)f the Synod of the Reformed Church in the U. S. (Eastern Synod) hekl in Mar tinsburg, West Virginia, in October, '72, the following action was taken WitettEas, The Constitution of the Re formed Church declares the office o Teachers of Theology to be u distinct Tice: • And Whereas, according to the same organic law the Synod alone has the pow er to establish and govern a Theological Seminary,and appoint professors or Teach ers of Theology And !flcrcaa, ..i .. :.: l l 7 .:;i*ter has the right asame the office of Teacher of Thcolo gy, anless he be ghoien by. a majority of the cotes of the Synod, and has been duly inaugurated by eking the prescribed oath of aloe: And Whereas, Teachers of Theology, Are required to prescribe a coarse of stu dy. for the studentS, and conduct all their ;instructions under the direction and su pervision of a Board of Visitors, appoint oad by the Synod : Amid 'Whereas, according to public an nouncement; the Rev. J. 11. A. Bomber ger, D. D., a member of the Philadelphia Classis, and President of Ursinus College, a chartered literary-institution, is, along with others, conducting a Theological class or school, and preparing roen for the - Ministry of the Gospel, by giving these professedly a full course of . Theolog- Ica! instruction, although he has ant been appointed to the office of Teacher dif The vicgy, and has never been inaugurated a gm...ably to the requirements of the Con s titu tion ; therefore, Resolved. • a. That the conduct of the said mem ber of the Mllsdelphia Classis ill assum ing the office of Teacher of Theology and in giving the theological instruction inde pendently ofAny proper ecclesiastical su pervision and direction, is contrary to the Constitution and government of the Re formed Cherch, and therefore disorder- ly. 2. That this Synod hereby enjoins up on the albresaid minister of the Philadel phia Classic forthwith to desist from this disorder. 3. That a committee of. three be ap appointed to communicate , an official,co py of this action to the Rev._Dr. Bomber _ er,ancl_in,_case-he-_dites-noresp_ect_thiq, injunction, itshall be their duty, and they are hereby directed to institute such con• stitutional proceedings, as shall be neces sary to maintain the order of the Church. From this action Rev. H. W. Super, complained to the General Synod and at its 'at( meeting in Cincinnati the com plaint wash Lsustained i —and--the t) 111 ';h r - Lot towing-resolutions-a dopted-as- the-sense of the General Synod in sustaining the complaint; "1. That the General Synod has decid ed that the.coaduct of the Rev. J. H. A. Bomberger, and those associated with him in Ursinus College, in giving theo. logical instructions at the request of the Board of Directors, is not disorderly nor contrary to the constitution of the Re formed' Church, although they have not been invested with the office of Teacher of Theology by, nor are conducting their theological teachings under the direction of the Eastern Synod. "2. That the General Synod has decid ed that the Synod of the Reformed Church in the United States; acted un constitutional!) in assuming original jur isdiction in the case of one of the minis ters of the Classis of Philadelphia. From this statement of the facts in the case, without drawing any deductions of my own, it seems to me that any one can see just what was intended by the action of the Synod. The Synod of Martinsburg alleged ilmt Dr. Bomberger was pursuing a disorderly course in establishing a the ological school and assuming the office of teacher of theology, without the consent or authority of the Synod within whose bounds said school was being carried for ward. This action of the Synod of Mar tinsburg was based upon what it believed to he i correct interpretation of the Con stitution of the church, which read as fol lows: J. HEYSER. ART. M. As it is of the utmost impor tance that the Professors of Theology be sound in the faith, have the requisit abil ity to teach, and possess the confidence of the Church, they shall, for the greater se curity, always be chosen by a majority of the votes of the Synod. One or more candidates shall be nominated and the Synod shall thereupon apFoint the day of election. ART. 19. At this inauguration, a pro fessor elect, shall solemnly affirm the fol lowing declaration, as by an oath, in the presence of God, in a public assembly : [This is a declaration of fidelity to the Canonic - al Scriptures, as the only rule of fifith and practice, 'and that the doctrine of the Heidelberg Catechism is the doc trine of the Scriptures, &e.—En.] Atom. 62. Each Synod may maintain or establish such Theological and other in stitutions within its bounds as it may deem necessary; and shall have full c,m trol over them, in all respects. The Pro fe,:nsurs and other offices of such institu tions, shall be amenable only to the Syn od• to which they may respectively belong. The Synod of Martinsburg ( Eastern) - believed that under these provisions of the cOnstitniion, it was not competent for any minister to assume the office of teacher of theology, no matter by what body other than the Synod he might be requested to do so ; and as it was a matter of public notoriety that Dr. Bomberger was teach ing a theological school, it believed his conduct to be disorderly—that is, a vio lation of church order. It did not charge him with leaching heresy ; it did not care to inquire what was the .character of 'his teachings ; but it believed that he had no right to teach theology in a public insti tution without the sanction or election of the Synod under whose jurisdiction he ought to stand as a minister of the Re formed Church. Can any one see iii this action of the Synod of Martinsburg an arraignment of Dr. Bomberger .for bis theological views or his doctrinal position? Dues the ac tion allude to, or can it be construed to mean anything in connection with points of theology in controversy in the Reform ed Church ? Clearly not. Aud it was of this action that Rev. Super complained to the General Synod. He did not com plain that Dr. Bomberger was accused of heresy, or that the teaching in his thpa. logical school xras unsound Not, this, but he - complained against •the action of ; :‘s WAYNESBORO', FRANKLIN COUNTY, THURSDAY, JANUARY 9, 1873. the Eastern knod in attempting to re-, strain Dr: B. from going forward with.bis,l theological school ; he complained against the interpretation which that Synod put upon the constitution of the church, and . carried the matter up to the General Spa tod to get its judgment npon these ques tions of .church law and church order. Lia full hammy with this view of the case, it will he seen that the General Synod, Lu sustaining , his complaint, say that the'cone duct of pr. 8., and those associated with him, is not disorderly nor contrary to the constitution of the church, although they have not been invested with the office of teacher of theology by, ncr are conduit ing their theological teaching. under, the direction of the Eastern Synod. Is this,distinctly pronouncing the , Gen- ' eral Synod, as regarding the doctrinalpo sition and theological teaching of Dr. 8., as consistent with the standards of the Reformed Church and 'worthy of her con fidence? Why, Ido not, believe that Dr. B. will thank his over zealous friend for going so far out of the way to attempt to get an endorsemet fur his orthodoxy— that was not called in question in "this matter ; and however much difference of opinion there may be in the Reformed Church upZin controversial points of the ology, it is unwise and almost criminal to attempt to twist so plain a question as that involved in this case, into a matter of doctrinal or theological controversy. In the statement of the Dunn complaint case, the writer in the Telegraph is equal ly unfortunate; His case I will state as concisely as I can. , It is an established custom in the Reformed - Church - to raise _inoney_for_the_yarioug_benivelent_opera tions of the church, by assessment or ap pointment. The Synod, for example, de termines to 'lase a certain sum for bene ficiary education, missions, &c., and ap portions this amount upon the Chassis.= The Classis, in turn, assiss the amount they are expected to raise, upon the con• regatioas. This, I say, is an established 1 - custour; — and - in proof of it, I need only say that the General Synod, at its late meeting, assessed upon the Eastern Synod ' various sums for contingent expenses and domestic missions. Acting upon this long established principle, Mercersburg Classis resolved to raise a certain amountfor ben eficiary- education, and in order to do it,. assessed it (or apportioned it) upon the charges or congregations within its bounds. Its action was based upon the general principle, that ministers are servants of the Lord, in his church, and not servants . ofthe people; and they are shepherds, aod not merely sheep, and hence that it is their duty to lay before the people com mitted to their charge and care, the va rious objects of benevolence designated by the church, in order that the people, in their capacity as a congregation, may have an opportunity to contribute toward the same. To this principle Elder Dunn objected, and denied the right of the Chas sis to command her ministers to ,bring these objects of benevolence before the peo ple. Huntingdon charge, in which Elder Dunn was an elder, through him refused to pay its assessment for beneficiary edu cation, claiming the right to -ignore the authority of the Classis in the premises, and to devote the contributions of the people into any channel the consistory might select. The Classis of Mercersburg took a dif ferent view of the matter. It said that. when a collection for beneficiary educa tion was taken up in a congregation, that it must of course, be for the beneficiary students under the care of Classis, inas much as the churches had no official knowledge of any others ; that it was im plied when the collection for this purpose was announced to the people, that it was to be devoted for the support of these young men ; that to appropriate it to the support, of any others, was au alienation of fundS and ought not to be tolerated.— Bear in mind, that neither Mercersburg Chassis nor the Synod of Martinshrg, which sustained the view of the Classis, assumed that individuals might not with hold their contributions for this purpose, and give them to any other object in or out of the Reformed Church ; no attempt has ever been made to interfere with the freedom of the individual in this respect;; but it was thought that in order to main tain some semblance of church organiza tion, the pastors within the Classis ought'. to be required, at least , to present the ob jects of benevolence designated by the church to -their people; and that until the needs of the church in these various operations were met, no public or congre gational collection should be taken for a foreign object. Not having the - action of Mercersburg Chassis at hand, I cannot give it word for word, but have endeav ored fairly to state the principle of church order it involves. It was against the en forcement of this principle—church order —that Elder Drum complained ; and if any one can see it in the great theological and doctrinal issues which du exist, not only in the Reformed Church, but in ev ery aurch in the land, their mental vi sion must be much keener than, mine.— Well, the General Synod sustained Elder Dunn's complaint, and in order to defiue what it meant by this action, it passed the following resolution : Resolved, That no consistory or other judicatory has any right to alienate any funds from the purposes. for which they were contributed; but .that consistories have the undoubted right to designate the direction which funds in their hands for benevolent purposes mall take, when not specially designated by the donors. The first'pert of the resolution is just what Mercershurg Chassis said, and hence quite a number of the members of Synod, unwilling to place the General Synod in the ridiculous position of sustaining a s e mi lain aza-Inft al most precisely aaa 1 ogus action fa the lower court, and then making the action complained of its own, refused to vote for such a plain contra diction. These are the facts in these two cases; and I am willing, to submit them both to the public and the membership of the Reformed Church, to judge if either one involved in any sense any.docfrinal or theological points. It is true that the majority of the, Synod was "low church," in the common acceptation of that word; and I am heartily glad it was, in view of the character of the work it did and the record it has made for itself in history. Early Marrying. Morally, mentally, physically, prema ture marriage is a mistake among women; and yet every day we can see this mis take sanctioned by the offices of religion, blessed by the consent of friends, and en tered into with all the eclat which should be reserved for a triumph rather than a trial. "Morally," it is a mistake, because few women are fit, at an age when they should be "under authority," to rule a houeshold prudently; since uo atmos phere is so dangerous for an undeveloped soul as that of the almost absolute power which is generally delegated to the young wife . . She may now do whatever is pleas ing in her own eyes. She has been freed from parental restraint, and any other has a circumference so undefined that it is narrowed and enlarged according to the will and phial sense of her who draws it. Angels might fear to walk in such- a broad freedom as is given by love and suference to the majority of our young married women—women by court esy, children in the regard of both law and-wisdom. "Mentally," it is a mistake, because with marriage all mental growth is sus pended in the large majority of women, Education, being regarded as simply a means-toward an end, is abandoned as soon as the end is obtained. At may be argued that all' education from-such-a motive is a mistake to begin with. True, but then it is one which keeps the culprit. in the society of wisdom, and it is just possible the mind under such influence might arrive at a juster conception of its worth and valve. "Physict 1 y,'' it is a mistake, because at the early age at which many marriages are made, the human form has not arriv ed perfected strength ;. and duties and re sponsibilities are laid upon it for which nature has made no adequate provision. Vitality is destroyed quicker than it is generated, and early and rapid decay. of both mind and body are the results. Thep the is said to die "by the visita tion of God," though in nine eases of ten it is only the simple and inevitable result of laws of nature pitilessly and persistent ly broken.—From Science of Health. Useful Recipes. SUBSTITUTE FOR PHYSIC.—For physic, substitute exercise and temperance. Bet ter health and more 'money in the pocket will be among the happy results of the change. Tug FEET.—As the feet hept more closely covered than any other part of the boly during the day, they should be 'thoroughly washed and rubbed till dry, every night. Impurities gather as the result of the confined perspiration, and these should be removes bethre sleeping. However inconvenient to do so, we repeat it, wash the feet every night. MUFFLING UP.—The more a man bun dles up to keep from colds, the more he may. Some persons do nothing but watch againt exposures, and keep themselves very busy. The best safeguards are dai ly exercise in the open air, and the free use of cold water, taking care not to be gin the use of mufflers. WHO REQUIRES MOST SLEEP ?-;-Those who think most, require most sleep. 'lime gained -from necessary sleep is not saved, but lost Mind and body will both suf fer. Most people, however, do not think enough to make early rising particularly dangerous. It is the hard working pro fessional man, the close ,studeut, or the man of business with many cares upon his mind, who suffers most from loss of sleep. —Science of Health. WrFE.—This good old , Saxton word (urif) is, after all, the dearest and most sacred word in the whole - vocabulary of love. Around it clusters all that is most beautiful, chaste ' and permanent in the tender passion. Into whatever forbidden paths the heart of man may wander, still it must return at last, to the hallow ed name of wife for consolation anti rest. Any other relation between the sexes, how ever, alluring to the imagination, invari ably ends in wretchedness, in shame, and degradatb.n. Happy is the man who can sing with Robert Burns : "She is a winsome wee thing, She is a handsome wee thing, She is a bonnie wee thing, This sweet wee wife o' Whose - heart does not beat softly and and joyously within - . him when he reads the touching picture of a wife's virtuous and enduring love, in Burns' song of "John Anderson, my Jo?" - Two Mm .—Said the late Dr. McLoed "The man I call sectarian is the. man who is not contented with the blessings of num ber one in the street, but whois always throwing stones or mud at number two; who is not content with his own wife and family, but talks and gossips about an other man's flintily. Give me the man who has honest, earnest convictions about his own church, and•l extend to him the right hand of fellowship. Love your church, and do all you can for it; but try and imagine, at the same time, that other men are as conscientious as you are, and-gico atom the right hand of fellow. ship when they do all they can for their church," - LOCAL AND azmiERAL APB. Ewa THE BETTTER . There's a better word than this, my friend Bright bettertworld above, Where hosts angelic, deathless blend, Their rays'of light and loxe.; Not light, like day's dull rays below, That comes anon, then dims and dies; Not love, like seatide's - ebb and flow, That changes with the hour that flies. There's a better world than this, my friend, Far better world of bliss; What stores of joys forever lend Blessings 12 e'er found in ; Where grows supreme Jehovah's throne, 'Mid coutrs more chaste than crystal cleat, And grouped in one celestial zone • - Rapt saints of ages all appear. 'Tis the life of love, in Leaven, my friend, • "Life of the world to come;" Whither poor souls at last shall wend When Time's sad round is run— licKne to the "Father of Light" and rest 1 Up from the mouldering grave; Into the mansions•of happiness On the other•eide of the wave. The Year of Life. The life of man has, not inaptly, been compared to that revolution of ear t h which gives us successively the seasons of spring, summer; autumn and winter. As tender . buds burst into being . softly de. seending showers and thin mists are di- persed by sunbeams in spring, and gradu- Tdly assume th — elfill splendor of coloring and grace of form which adorn the chil dren of Flora, so infancy nurtured by barental care, grows into youth, humanity eing developed in childhood like the rose in April. Then comes manhood with its stern ro il lr he- solves, its strength and maturity—when pride of life, desire for glory, emulative zeal, and far reaching design, mark the character, no less than well-develop e d limbs, stateliness of form, and dignity of carriage indicate the perfect man. This, then, is the summer of life; every man corn • rehends the language which so de signates it as at once figurative and truth ful. In this grand stage of human exist ence. nerved by power, the arm of the warrior executes deeds of heroism, the tongue of the orator inflames or subdues crowds, and the pen of the author diffuses Lover an entire world majestic thought and burning eloquence. At this golden epoch of life how mighty are the sons of genius for good or for ill I The pale sculptor, who sits, hour by hour, embodying in death cold marble his own supernatural idea— the passionate poet, who weaves into flow- ery song his angel visions—the man of science who pier ces, deep amidst the Bi crets of nature, whether contemplating heaven's lofty arch, earth's vast profound, or the wonders of ocean, devotes his sum mer of life to the eutusiasm of earnest pur suit, for enthusiasm is a quality of genius, and earnestness is the sure concomitant of enthusiasm. Ah,.hut the grand, rich autumn comes on apace. Pomona has painted all her rich fruits with mystic ,coloring, vainly emulated by art—ripe hangs the harvest on each hill ; each valley is teeming with abundant gilts from the bounteous hands of Ceres, crowned with her wheaten sheaf and holding aloft her long desired comm. colia. What does the autumn of life bring tc a man? A glorious harvest of high achievement, provided its spring has not been wasted in. idleness or degraded by vice. Even honest labor is now re• warded where higher gifts have not ena bled the industrious and the virtuous to win renown. As they all sowed so shall they reap, for the Lord of the harvest is just, and man is not their judge. Perhaps the good man's recompense may not be awarded him in his autumn time on earth, but not the less is he in the care of high Heaven, - and none the less surely will he obtain his meed. • Last Comes winter. Dead and wither ed are all earth's flowers. Amidst bleak winds and chilling skies the dying year folds his dark mantle about him and joins the mournful procession, headed by years beyond the flood. Thousands after thou sands, they grimly march away, and the great muse of history albne dimly records their advent and departure, noting here and there.the fluctuations of empires and half-disclosed mutations of earth. As winter to the year, is death to man. Then, too, he closes his account with Time. Vas ter existence opens before his enlarged vi sion, and awaking to the, life of gods,' he realizes _ fully the all-important though fleeting character of his year of life— metaphorically so-called. THE SABBATH,—The Sabbath day is the beautiful river in the. %%eek of Time: The other days are Li übled streams, whose angry waters are disturbed by the count less crafts that float upon them. But the sure river Sabbath Bows on to Eternal Rest, chanting the . sublime music of the silent, throbbing spheres, and' timed by the pulsations of the everlasting life.— Beautiful river Sabbath glide . Bear forth on thy bosom the poor, tired spirit, to the rest which it seeks, and the weary watching soul to the eildless bliss.- A finished life—a life which has made the best of all the materials granted to it, and through which, be. its web dark or bright, its pattern . tlear or clouded, can now be traced plainly the hand of the great Designer; surely this is worth liv ing for! It has fulfilled its appointed course, and returns tothe . Giver of all breath pure as•he - gavelt. • Nor will' lie forget when he counteth no bin ierfela. A joyless life is worse to bear than one of active grief. BY SALLIE EVASS. ANYTHING ELBE BUT 3Olilt7i—Onc.o upon a time, a big, strappling, tOtkward youth, fresh from Vermont, enured the Dunbar Academy at Byfield, Mate., for a little erudition, which is doled out at this Temple of Minerva at economick prices. At that place—we know not hoi at is at present—the boys and girls were'kept in one apartment; only the middla.i sI e parted them. One day this v etanont strippling, who had been helping , one of the girls through a hard sum—be was a cute in cyphering—thought it not more than t'air that he ehould take toll; for his valuable services ; accordingly Fie threw his stalwart arm around the rosy damsel .and--gave her a sly, rousing smack which started the whole assembly. "Jedediah Tower, come up herd," roar ed the preceptor. The delinquent appeared, his face glow ing with blushes like a red-hot warming pan—and looking as sly as a niny. "Hold out your hand, sir," said the ped agogue. "I'll teach you nut to act thus in this institution." The huge .paw was extended to a hori zontal line towards the instructor, who surveyed its broad surface with a mathe matical eye—calculating how many strokes of his small ferule it would-take to cover the large number of square inches it contained. "Jedediah," at length he said, "'this is the first time you have been called upon for any delinquency ; now, sir, if you will say you are sorry for what you has done, I will let you off this time-without punish ment. • "Sorry !" exclaimed the youngest, strik ing—an attitude-of—pre-indignation -; "sor ry !no sir! lam not. And I will do jest so. again if I have-a chiince. So put . on, old fellow, just as hard as you like. By the jumpin Jehogaphat, I'd_stand_here_ and let you lick me till kingdom cum a fore I'd be sorry for that—by thubder I would." SHARP AS WELL AS - WISE.-A fin deo priest called in all the members of a large family, one of whom was known to have committed a theft, and addressed them thus : "Take each of you one of those sticks, which are of an equal length and put them under your pillows to-night. I do not at present know the offender, but you must return the sticks to me to morrow morning; and the one belonging to the thief will have grown an inch dur ing the night." The family retired to rest; but before he went to sleep, the man who bad committed the theft, thinking to outwit the priest, cunningly cut off an inch from his stick, firmly believing, by this means, to attain the length of the others by next morning. The sticks were returned, and, by comparing them, the priest was instantly ble to pitch upon the offender, to his great surprisa and dis may. ilere is another instance of similar a cuteness. In a certain city a large quantity of cotton has been stolen. The cotton-deal ers brought their complaint before the king. Notwithstanding all the search that was made, the thieves remained un discovered. An .aimer said that .if he ,vere commanded, he would discover the thieves, the king ordered:him to do so.— The aimer went home, and under pretense of making a teat, invited all the men of the city, small and great. When all the people met together, and had seated them saves,*the aimer joined the company, and looking every man in the face, said : "What ill-born, impudent blockheads these men are, who, having stole, the cot ton, are come to my feast with it sticking on their beards !" Some persons instantly put their lands to their beards, and thereby discovered themselves to be thieves. The king re warded the tamer for the contrivance. THE CAPTATH'S REQUEST. - "My lads," when about to take command of a ship, reading his orders to the crew on the quar ter deck, "There is one law t any deter mined to make i and I shall insist on it be ing kept. It is a favor indeed,-I ask of you, and which, as a British officer, I ex pect will be granted by a crew of British seamen. What say you my lads ? are you willing to grant your new captain one fa.. vor ?" "Ay, ay," cried all hinds, "let's hear what it is, sir." . . "Well, my lads, it is this: that you must allow me to swear the first oath in this ship. Ico man on board must swear an oath before I do; I am determined to swear the first oath on board. What say you my lads, • will you grant me this fa vor?" The men stared and stood for a mo ment quite at a loss what to say. "They were taken," one said, "all aback.' "They were brought up," said another, "all stand. ing." The appeal seemed so reasonable, and the manner of the . captain so kind and friendly, that a general burst from the ship's company answered : "Ay, ay, sir," with their' usual three cheers. Swearing was thus wholly abolished in the ship. THE LOCAL PAPER.--The N. Y. n 748 says of the local paper : "You owe it to yourselves to rally liberally to its support, and exact from it as able, high-toned a character as you do from any educator in your midst. It is in no sense beneath notice and..care—unl es s you yourself are beneath notice and care,-for it is• your representative. Indeed, in its character, it is the summatitm-o€theimportunce, in terest and ivelfare of you. all.. It is the aggregate of your own consequence, and you cannot ignore it without miserably depreciating yourselves .R We go to the grave of a friend, saying, "A mania dead ;" but angels throng about him, saying, "A man is born." $2,00 PER YEA R NUMBER 31 t • 111141 Sitsior. An editor answ6ra a challenge, "141717`• I want to die I ean7Poot myself?' ...;ie/ . . Boys aredike vinegar the more "moth er" there is in them the sparper they be come. Do not cut off a big lower limb, 'unless you are a renter and do not care what be. comes of ale tree when your tune is out. Cream may be fr en by simply piirt\. ing it into a glass ssel, and then plac ing the whole Wan bachelor's besty,"- . The marriay: service, in the opinion a Western paper, should be changed to . read, "Whc 4laie take this woman. 2" and the groom shall answer, "I dare." "Now, Johnny Wells, can you tell me what is meant by anairacle?" "Yes, teach er, mother says if you don't marry the new deputy sheriff, it will be a mirecle." "Are you not afraid that whiskey will get up in your head r' asked nstranger 'of a man he saw drinking at a bar. "No," said the toper; "this liquor is too weak to climb." "The wind's getting round," remarked Bibbs to his friend Buggins, the other day when it changed from east to west. °Glad of it," replied Bdggins ; it's been sharp long enough." An eccentric old fellow, who lives along .. side of a graveyard, was asked if, it was not an unpleasant location. "No," said . he, "1 never jined places in all my I:fe with a set of neighbors.that .minded their business - s - o - stilldy as tlie-,,VW. A. lady has - a Sunday School class in one of the churches. Two brothers at tend it alternately. One Suuday - a lady asked one of the boys if he ivould be Gera on the following Sabbath ? "Oh !.no," says he, ".I can't; it's ray turn to saw-wood !" Sonie country editor gets off 'the foll O wing : "The Battle of Life.—Courtship is the engagement; the proposal is the as sault; and matrimony the victor.". Then we conclude that a treaty of peace is made on the appearance of the Envoy Extraor dinary. A young man engaged in making him self attractive to a young lady was taken With a violent fit of coughing, and brought up two marbles he had swallowed when a boy. The young lady dismissed him.— She said she didn't want to marry a stone quarry. "Pa." said a little seven year fellow, "I guess "our man, Ralph, is a good Chris tian." "How so my boy ?" querried the pa rent, "Why, pa, I• read in the Bible that the wicked shall not live out half his days -and Ralph says he haS lived, 04 eve; since he was a little boy." , During a late conference Mho following conversation was oyerbeard between two newsboys : "I say, Jim, what's the mean ing of so minty Ministers being here, al together?" "Why," answet ed Jint scorn fully, "they always meet once a year to swan sermons." "I wonder how' they make luci fe r matches," said a young married lady to her husband, with whom she was always quarreling. , "The process is very simple," y said the, husband, "I once made one." "How did you manage it - ?" ' `,' • "By leading you to the alter."' - A German . peddler sold a man a liquid for the extermination of bed-bugs...".Anil how do you use it?" inquired the :mau. • after he had bought it. "Shust you ketch de pug; squeeze, him a leetle, put one drop on hum tongue, au'ir by my' ircumstances he's right ofra-deat , • bug!" "I could kill him in hall the time, replied the indignant purchaser,. y stem ping on it - • "Veil," , calmly exclaimed the Girman; "dat is a good way, too, so long as yen kill him." How dangerous to defer those moraerk. tons reformations which the Conscience ii solemnly preaching to the - heart ! If they are neglected, the difficulty and indiaposi: tion are increasing - every month. Thp mind is receding, degree after degree;frOgi the warm and hopeful , zone, till its last it will enter the artic circle and become:fix ed in relerttlfts and eternal ice. 7 -John Foster. BEArrY.—Nevei lose an opiortnnity . of seeing anything that is beautiful. Beau ty is God's handwriting, a way-side sac rament ; welcome it in every fair face, . in every fair flower, and thank Him for it, the fountam of loveliness ; and drink it in, simply and earnestly, with your tiez; it is a charmed, draught, a cup of blest sing. Labor canquors all things. Eyerytning that we do has to have a certain anaiiint, of labor expended on it. :to bring it to - a state - of perfection. • However difficult it ' may app.eskr. howeverimpossible it may seem to be, remember if you attack it with energy and labor with your alight, your efforts will be crowned- with suceesa. A sneer is the wetrpen of the weak.— Like all other evil weapons it is always cunningly ready to our hands, and sher) id WIWI:: enbUn. hatitlig than th.) point. But how Many noble aorta hero been - withered by its verminous stab, and festered with its subtile
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers