.sis of aovek nswoi FOR PUBLICAN On Square on inch, on inJrtioa..a OaaSquar. on loot, on moata. ., Oo Square, on inch, tar months. . One Squar, on inch, on year...... Two Squares, one year.... Quarter Column, on 7&r. ........... him.it Column, one vur ........ ....... 100 l too ION is ir ) M MM la published erery Wednosday, by J. E. WENK. 02.0 la Bmearbau jh & Co.'i Bulldlnf XVH BTREKT, TIONSSTA, PA. J jlx. On Column, on year 100 (4 li?al advertisement tea oont per uw each insertion. Marriages and death notices gratis. All bills foryrarly advertisements collected quarterly Temporary advertisement must b paid in advance. Job work -cash on dellrery. Ttrmi, l.OO Per Year, Ha subscriptions received tor a shorter period than tnrea months. Correspondence solicited from til parts of lb country. No notlo will be taken of Doamou oommanioatloam. VOL. XXXII. NO. 1. TI ON EST A, PA., WEDNESDAY, APRIL 19, 1899. 81.00 PER ANNUM. tub Forest Republic j RE According to a doctor of Leomln. tor, Mass., "the bicyole is the miss, ing link between a pair of boots and t pair of wings." . A Kansas man said he'woulJ not eal again nntil his daughter was converted. The daughter said she would not be converted mtil the father, consented to her marrying the man of her choice. The father enjoyed a fast of six days, the girl was married, and 'then con verted. All things come to those who have the courage of their conviotion' ind wait The British Government has de cided to take hold of the telephoue system, and has secured a Parliament ary vote of $10,000,000 to begin the work in London. It already owns Jhe Irunk lines between the various cities of the kingdom and has been leasing Iheni hitherto to the operating com pany. It has owned and operated the entire telegraphio system of the coun try for a generation. The idea of instituting some porma. nen memorial of the deeds of those heroic men, - the sacrifice of whose lives, under unheroio and everyday oiroumslanoes, is . being constantly made and as quickly forgotten, has at last come to a practical issue in Lon don. On the wall of the historic old Aldersgate Church, which faces on the auaint, little "Postman's Park," (ab lets will be erected by a committee iiww loruieu ior mat purpose, to com. memorate the bravery of, men who, without the rush and excitement of battle to, stimulate them, .have sacri ficed their lives without hope of fee oi reward. Hitherto, whilst there have been societies in plenty to honor those who risked life, there was none tr honor those who lost it in bravery. ' This thing of civilization is confus ing. It is so releutlessly and eternal ly different from what we would like 'lobe. In spite of all our effort, we tan not be polite about it.' Try as we will to make it a drawing-room funo lion, it always turns out to be a thing of brute force. Guns aud extermina tion if necessary; but force in some aegree, anyway. Darwin summed it np in his "struggle for existence, Spenoer iu his "survival of the fit test!" Civilization finds a land full ol riches, but peopled with savages. It is bound by law of its being to take the riohes, says Judge, to settle on the land and make it to produce. The lavages may survive or they may not. It is immaterial to civilization. If they can not they are pushed down b,t those who can. A soientiflo investigation of the physical strength of the Chicago school children is to be undertaken by the Board of Education of that city, and the results which they obtain will be used as a standard for the treat ment; of pupils as to their capacity fot mental enduranco and physical exer cise. It is thought that the results would be very important and serve to revolutionize the methods whioh are now in vogue. The theory of the test is to determine what is known as the "fatigue" period" of a child, or that period of its life at whioh its energies are at the lowest ebb and, therefore, the time when its school work should not be pressed. The pupils will be weighed and measured and will be ex amined, for the purpose of determin ing their physical condition. A test will then be made of the strength and enduranoe powers of the muscles of the child. What may be done with swamp lands under an intelligent system ot cultivation is told by the Indianapolis News in a story of the success of B. F. Gifford, whose land holdings are iu Jasper County, Indiana, and who is said to be the owner of the largest amonnt of swamp land under cultiva tion in the world. Mr. Gifford bought B3.000 acres of swamp land from the Btate at little more than a song, and he now has nearly that number of till able acres, whose fertility is the won der of other farmers. Seventy-five miles of hroad ditches, supplemented by several hundred miles of tile pip ing drain the land, and from it Mr, Gifford last year marketed over 1,000, 000 bushels of corn, 400,000 bnshels Df onions, and great quantities of other vegetables and grains, harvest ing, in addition, an abundance of hay for his hundreds of horses. The crop! raised on this enormous tract afforded sufficient traffic to keep a small rail road busy, and as Mr. Gifford esti mated he could with profit build hie own line, haul his corn, stock, hay, vegetables, and other products to the Chicago market, he surveyed a line from the centre of the traot, and is now constructing a freight line from the centre of his farm north to a point of junotion with the Indiana, Illinois and iowa line, whioh gives hint direct connection with Cbjca.t? rENV. " SUCH IS THE DEATH Bneh Is the death the soldier dies He falls the column speeds away; Upon the dabbled grass he lies, Ul brave heart following, still, the fray. Tbe smoke' wraiths drift among the trees, Thetbattle storms along tho bill; The glint of distant arms he sees, II bears bU.oomrades shouting still. TO COVENTRY AND BACK By W. T. JECl UPILS soon learned ri u 10 love it, yes mere in nothing very re niarkable in Bly ville Academy. It is a reasonably good school, in which achievement is quite up to pre tension, and its boys are much like the thousands of others who settle down to their books five (lavs in the week when the town clocks of the land strike nine, Some of them are bright fellows, quick to learn and slow to forget, and some acquire knowledge by the sweat of their brow. In short, they are an very-day lot, with every-day virtues and failings, and the especially coin mbnplace habit of fads. Generally the fad of "the moment is harmless enough, but sometimes it goes too far There is still fresh in the memory of the sohool, for instanoe, the case of Bob Jennings, who suffered sadly be cause, once upon a time, he failed to be in the fashion. A few pudgy boxing-gloves were at the bottom of it all. Rufe Henry's brother at oolloge sent him a set, aud after "Top" Brown's father had added another, the Blyville stock grew rapidly. Boxing soon became the "rage" at the academy. One of the teachers, young, active and athletic volunteered to give the boys lessons "Sound mind, sound body," said he, and took the youngsters in hand one after another. ;. So far it was all very well, but the fad went farther. There was boxing in ? plenty with n obstructor's eye upon the proceedings; next it came to be the most natural thing in the world for a little grievance to be settled by a bout; and after a time there were encounters where the grievance, if any there were, was of the flimsiest nature that school boys could devise. And then, just wheu a "oode of honor" was in a fair way of develop ment, Bob Jennings refused point blank to face Tad Reynolds. Older heads might have found ex cuses. Bob had been ailing a bit that luckless day he had a headache to make him spiritless aud miserable. So he walked away "slumped," tho others declared and thereupon the school blithely sont him to Coventry, The next day was Saturday, and the skating was good. On the bank of the mill-pond the academy lads chose sides for a game of hockey. Boy after boy was called and took his place in one of the two groups, until Bob was left standing alone. "You'll have to take Jennings," said one leader to the other. "No, sir-eel" was theqnick response. "We ll play oue snort." Bob did not tarry to watch the game He threw his skates over his shoulder and walked up the hill. Coward or no ooward, there would have been vio lence bad anybody told him that he was crying. "It's the wind," he said to himself half a dozen times. Near the summit he left the path and crossed a field to avoid a party of girls who were hurrying toward the pond, chat tering and laughing so gaily that by comparison his despondency seemed deeper tliau ever. ; . in ear ms own nonso Uob met a neighbor, an elderly man, who gave mm a nod, and then called after him, "What's the matter? Skating bad?" "No, Mr. Peck, it's all right," said the boy, stopping reluctantly. "I I well, I didn't care for it to-day." "Something better to do, eli?" "No, I've nothing to do." Mr. Peck had known many boys, but one who would not skate when he could was a novelty. With a rheu matic ump ne moveu to ms young neighbor, looked mm over and whistled. "Maybe you'd like a kind of chore job," hi said. "Look here, Bob, I've promised to take the family over at the East Village a couple of quarts of milk a day; and really, I'm not fit to do it. This weather it gets me! I'm not so young as, I was, by any manner of means. If you'll take the contract off my hands, I'll furnish the milk and give you half the money. What do you say to that?" "I'll do it, Mr. Peck," said the boy. quickly. "I'll do it, and bo glad of the chance." The "East Village consisted cf three small houses, only one of which was habitable. Some years previously a speculator had attempted a "boom" on the strength of a new railroad. Some cottages were run up, many big signs painted; and the railroad went by the new village at the bottom of a fifty foot cutting. Whereupon the project languished. One or two houses were moved away, another was burned, a few others fell down. For months no body had lived there, nntil a family coming to the town rented the best of the ruins. Nobody in the town seemed to know anythingof the newcomers. Even Mr. Peck could only say that they kept within doors, and that his bargain bad been made with a little girl, acting as eyvoy from her mother. By road or rather by the aban IS THE SOLDIER DIES. A glimpse of far-borne flags, that fade And vanish In the rolling din, II knows the sweeping charge is maio, Tbe cheering lines are oioslr.g In. Unmindful of bis mortal wound. He faintly calls and seeks to rise; But weakness drags him to the ground Huoh Is tbe death tho soldier dies. Robert Burns Wilson, In the Atlantic. NICHOLS. doned route of a once projeoted high waythe East Village was nearly a mile from where Bob Jennings lived. Half the distance could be saved by a short cut " across the fields and through a neighboring bog, which was frozen hard the first time Bob crossed it. . Perhaps the walk in the clear, cold nir, and the climb n p the little hill on which the cottage stood, did him good; perhaps the mere fact of having something to do was a mental tonic At any rate, when he knocked at the door of the shabby house his spirits were better than they had been for hours. The girl responded to his summous. . She was a thin, almost weazened bit of humanity; very timid, Bob de cided, for she opened the door but a few inohes, aud seemed on the point of shutting it hastily when she saw a stranger on the step. "I'm going to bring the milk for a while," he explained. "Mr. Feck asked me. He isn't well enough to oonie every day." "Oh!" said the girl, and then she added, "Thank you, sir," as sho took the can whioh he held out. - As Bob trudged homeward the words came to him over and over again. "Thank you, sir," was a most common expression, as he knew very well, but the "sir" was as balm to his wounded spirit. It was something to be regarded respectfully even by girl who lived in a ramshackle cottage and lookod as if she had not enough to eat. wune tue cold, clear weather con tinued, Bob made his daily trips to the East Village with something like alacrity. With his schoolfellows things were going worse than ever, aud he was snubbed more offensively. There had been a great exoitement on the mill-pond whilo tho Saturday's game of hockey was in progress. A boy had brokou through the ice and been gallantly rescued; and the sohool had a horo. Everybody was talking of Tad Reynold i s coolness and brav ery. As Tad rose in publio esteem, Bob, who was supposed to hate him, natur ally lost the little favor that had been left to him. No wonder he was glad of the excuse which the daily errand to the cottage gave him for being out of the way. Every day tae little girl thanked him for the can of milk, and called him "sir." Poor Bob began to get most of his comfort in life from that little word. A heavy snow-storm increased the difficulties ot bis journey, but he res olutely crossed the marsh to the cot tage. Indeed, he had almost broken a path, when another fall of snow and a following snap of bitter cold weather at once undid his work, and made the tramp harder than ever. One day he returned with a frost-bitten ear; the next the other ear was similarly af fected. Tnen came the great storm of the winter, when the snow was heaped up in enormous drifts, when all the roads were blocked and disappeared, when people tunneled passages from house to barn, and .nobody thought of going for the mail. Yet even when Btorm was raging, Bob went to the East Village. ' It took him a long time to reach the cottage, and it was a half -frozen boy whom the girl greeted as she opened the door. This time she in vited him to enter the house, and sat in open-eyed silence, watching him as he underwent the painful process of thawing out before the kitohen stove. How he made the return journey he hardly knew, but made it he did, stumbling and falling, with achinz limbs and benumbed hands and feet. He was badly frost-bitten, of course. The next day s task was torture. and so was the next. A fall lamed him so that he hobbled as clumsily as Mr. Peek, but he did not give in. In some vague fashion he seemed to be proving something) himself, and with equal vagueness he thought that something would be worth all his pains. A fortnight after the big storm Bob found his occupation gone. The family had left the cottage, and East Village was again deserted. So he was told one morning by Mr. Peek, who in return had his information from Sonire Beecher, the oldest law yer in the town, who in some way had gained knowledge of the stranger's existence. Their departure was sud den, bnt they paid their bills; that was the limit of Mr. Peek's acquaint ance with the incident. Bob heard the news with genuine regret. At the academy his existence was no' pleasanter, and the weeks wore away with dismal slowness. The boy's isolation preyed upon him. There was less, perhaps, of open hostility displayed, but cool aud care fully studied neglect was quite as marked as ever. In Blyville Academy "the Fourth" does not necsssarily imply Independ ence Day. It may mean March the fourth, fcr every year upon that day the pupils march in parade to tbe Town Hall, and recitations are given and compositions real aud bouquets bestowed; all the wise men of the town cake wise speeches, and some-; $8 times the Founder's Medal is be stowed. But that does not always happen; far from it. To win the medal one must have done something very brave. By some of the boys it is held that the mysterious deed, nnder which in some way proceeds the money to buy the medal, requires that life must have been saved. ' No medal had been bestowed for four years, bnt everybody felt com fortably sure that the time had come whon Tad Reynolds's feat at the mill pond was to be suitably acknowledged. Bob himself, ail attendant at the cere mony against his will, and stowed in a corner of a benoh, with a most unfriendly space between him and his next neighbor, felt convinoed of it. When the critical moment came, he fixed his eyes squarely on the rusty brass of the Town Hall chandelier and listened to the words of Squire Beecher, chairman of the academy trustees and presiding officer on this great occasion. The squire's speech was smooth and ornate, and soulless and brief. To Tad was granted only a Bhort space of delightful expectancy, and then his name had been pronounced, he had marched forward to the platform, the ribbon of the medal had been pinned upon his coat, and the boys were cheering and the girls were clapping their hands, whilo the galleries were white with waving handkerohiefs. Bob kept his glance still fixed "on the ohandelier,and listened confusedly. Tad bad won his honors fairly; he knew it and did not begrudge him their enjoyment. Yet, after all, it seemed a queer world where one boy should have so much and another so little, where if only a fellow's luck were not A stir of the sort an audience makes when something not on the programme seems about to happen, brought Bob out of his meditations. Squire Beecher was telling the people a story of suf fering, of want, of starvation, or some thing very near it; of biting winds and nipping cold; of a family, poor and proud, among strangers; of a mother Btricken with illness, unable to help herself, and cared for by a child bur dened beyond her years; of long days and nights of uncomplaining endur ing; and atlaet of the coming of a brother only too happy to end a long feud, and to bear away with him the mother and daughter to comfort if not to plenty. The squire told his story well, as if it thrilled him. There was a moment's pause in the squire's speech before he went on; but now he was telling them the best of his story. Somebody, he Baid, had saved the lives of the two in the lonely house; had done what few men would have dared to undertake in the face of the fiercest storm the region had seen in years; had carried the pair food, which had kept alight the spark of life and made possible the happy conclu sion. And, therefore, the trustees, exer cising the discretion vested in them, had voted without dissent to award, for the first time since the founding of the fund, a second medal in a single year, lor bravery aud faithfnlaess on the part of a member of the school. It was steadfast courage displayed in a humble undertaking by one who bnilded better than he knew, and upon whose efforts depended vastly more more than he could possibly have known. "Robert Jennings I" rang the squire's deep voice, The great event was over, the older folks had gone their ways, discussing it, while the school boys were grouped about tbe Town Hall steps. Tad Rey nolds was with them, but the glitter of his medal no longer held their gaze. All were looking with shamefaced eagerness at a boy who stood hesita ting as if in doubt whether to advance or retreat. Ho, too, wore a medal, but it was as disregarded as Tad's. For bim, as for the others, the last half-hour had wrought a great revul sion of feeling. Glancing down at the faces upturned to his, he seemed to see not the ene mies of later days, bnt the friends of the time that seemed years ago. He mado a few steps forward, faltered and halted. Tad Reynolds counted a step. "Bob!" he said, husikly, "J we all of us, we " Bob Jennings's hesitation vanished. Oh, fellows!" he cried, and sprang toward Tad with outstretched hand. Youth's Companion. Aronnd the World Backward. It is announced that as enthusiast tio sportsman has just left Brussels, Belgium, with the avowed intention of walking around the world back ward. The feat of going around the world without a sou in one's pocket has become an everday matter bicy cle tours of the world are an old story therefore, there must be soma new invention by which the publio, craving for notoriety may be grati fied. The man who walks backward is bound to be safe from accidents, a3 the automobile aud other vehicles of locomotion, if not out of common hu manity, at least out of admiration for a creature of such absolute daring, must give bim right of way. We may next hear of some fauatio who has started out to make tho tour of the world walking on bis hands. Truly, the possibilities of globe-trotting aro innumerable. New York Herald. The Superior Kng-IUh Pickpocket. Pocket picking is an occupation that admits of a vast display of in genuity. While disclaiming any par ticular merit for that country, says a London paper, it is au indisputable fact that again England is in the van of all nations in that her pickpockets hold their own against all foreign com petition. In London a'.cne over ono hundred thousand men, women and children gain their daily bread by this unscrupulous mode of living. PUZZLE DEPARTMENT. ' ' Tbe solutions to these puzzles will ap rear In a succeeding Issue. 21 81A Diamond. 1. A consonant iu Semper. 2. De voured. 3. A mineral. 4. The close 5. A vowel in Profectum. 82 A Bunch of Ps to Behead. 1. Laudation, and have to elevate. 2. A scheme, and have chance. 3. Condition, and have to kindle. 4. A hostage, and have a ridge. 5. To de light, and have grant 6. A site, and have fine network. 7. Cost, and have a grain-food. 8. Evidence, aud have a covering. 83 Six niddeo Countries and Capitals. 1. The mastiff ran certainly very fast, which will give his pup a rise iu price. 2. Let Ellis bond the goods, and then we'll make a strong grasp or tug all together. 3. You must call it a lynx, though from every point it looks like a wildcat. 4. Put the flow ers each in a pot that has the Russian kopek in the design. 5. If you think the spa increased your suffering, let the nomad rid yon by the Arab treat ment. 6. Let us agree, certainly; be sure of the truth of our dogma, then stand by it. 84. A Square. 1. An island that has caused much trouble. 2. A range of mountains in Europe. 3. A large bundle. 4. An abbreviated boy's name. ANSWERS TO PREVIOUS PDZZLES. 77. Four Progressive Enigmas. 1. Jack, was your son named after General Jackson? 2. Is this where the ship lands on these islands? 3. This canary was brought from the Canary Islauds. . 4. I saw an Arab iu London when I was on a trip; he cam ' from Arabia. 78. A Half Square SPIN PIN I N N 79. An Acrostic Hat, are, were, here, our, rap, now, eol. Hawthorne. 89. A Diamond M BAG MAINE GNU E . WEAK HEARTS AND BICYCLES. Only Those Whose Breathing and Pulsa tions Kecover Quickly Should Hide. Dr. Schott, of Nauheim, Germany, who has devoted considerable time to the study of bicycling from a hygienio point of view, gives these facts as the results of his studies: Bicycling, just as mountain climb ing, accelerates the action of the heart and thus quiokens the pulse. This naturally tends to enlarge the heart during action, a process which during rest takes a backward turn, and the vital organ resumes its normal state. . By violent, or, say, excessivo exer cise on the wheel, wheu the pulse beats at 140 per minute, the condi tions change. The expansion of the heart does not fall back to the normal, as is best proved by the "used-up" look of the cycle racers after a tour nament. Should this strained exer cise continue the enlargement of the heart continues with it, and fatal re sults are inevitable. The older the wheelman the easier do the muscles of the heart assnme undue proportions, and, the arteries becoming less elastic with age, the life of such a man is greatly endan gered. There is a certain note in breathing which is au infallible warn ing with turners aud climbers, which, however, very often fails its purpose with the cycler, for in his case the great draught caused by his run sup plies him with more oxygen than is necessary. All these things should be taken in due consideration by ardent wheel men. Bicycling as an exercise should be taken only by persous whose heart and lungs aro in the best natural con dition. A Cordial Welcome. A generation ago, when a continu ous round of visits was an onerous part of every rural minister's dnties, one wintry day a worthy New England pastor, accompanied by his wife and little son, went to call for the first time upon a parishioner who lived in the edge of the adjoiniug town. Tjie nncomprising exterior of the house which they found to be their destina tion did not promise much hospitality. Vigorous knocking brought to one of the upper windows a woman, who sur veyed the visitors from the shelter of half-closed blinds, and after some further delay the rarely used door creaked grudgingly on its hinges, aud disclosed a girl of ten, who welcomed tbe party thus: "Come in aud sit down, won't you? Mcther'll be down in a minute. She says she's so glad you've come. She wants to have it over with." Woman's Home Com panion. Kurope' New Larder. Now that the Siberian railways are in tr, completed southern Siberia may be regarded as Europe's future inexhaustible larder. Kurgan, for in stance, lying on the south Siberian line, now supplies the greatest butter firms in the world. Last year's ex hortations of the article are estimated to have reached a value of $2,000,000. The province also snpplies the largest Russian cities with cattle from the steppes. Korolkoff, the chief ex porter in this direction, exported in the first three months of last year 8500 bead of cattle, besides 600,000 pounds of meat for the Russian army. Kurgan also supplies Russia with poultry and eggs. The last egg ex port consisted of ninety-five carloads, each carload containing; 150,000 eggs. SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL. Russia furnishes by far the greatest quantity of platinum used by the world, and in 1897 this amount war about six tons, or ninety-five per cent, of the entire amount mined. Seven mines produce the greater part of the metal, though nineteen smaller pro prietors are represented in the grand total. A solution of mnriate of copper was taken np by the roots of pines near Santa Fe, says Mr. F. H. Knowlton in the Plant World. This is evidenced, according to Mr. Knowlton, by the fact that when cut, the roots of the pines which were bathed in a weak solution of the muriate yielded ao oleorosin of a beautiful emerald hue. Mr. Rydberg, a Swedish savant, suggests that the recent discovery ol the new element, metargon, in tin air, strengthens the theory of the ex istence of a universal atmosphere ex. tending between the planets anc" throughout the solar system. This gas, he says, was already known to exist iu the sun, iu the immediate surroundings of the sun, in all comets, and in meteorites; from which facts he infers that it constitutes a commor atmosphere for our system. In a communication to the Societc d'Encouragement de l'lndustrie Rationale, M. Saglio gives in detail an acoount of his researches iu the Hue of highly expansive enamels, and the important scientific and industrial bearing of such characteristic He Found that silica, kaolin, petalite and zircon impart to the enamel infusi bility, but lessen the expansiveness; that calcic phosphate increases the expausiveness, give viscosity to the enamel in fusion, imparting to it also a certain insolubility, and that cryolite, fluorspar, and, above all, rutile, which seems to fix the boracio acid well, in crease the expansiveness and fluidity of the euamel. It is of course familial to all that the use of enamel as an in snlator for resistance wires of electric heating and cookiug apparatus is now general, and manufacturers have by careful experiment ascertained which of the various enamels give the most favorable results. The desiderata aro that the expansion of the enamels be about the same as that of the metals employed, and that the enamel be not- very brittle. - The use of the balloon as an astro nomical observatory is one of the later adaptations of science that would hare seemed very strange a few years ago. In some ways, says the Rev. J. M. Bacon, it affords the student of astronomy and . optics opportunities not to be otherwiso obtained, and the steadiness aud brilliance of celestial objects viewed with optical aid from a balloon 10,000 or 12,000 feet above sea level is astonishiug, the fall moon through an ordinary fieldglass becom ing iutolerably bright at even half that height. The samo a 1 vantage? cannot be had at mountain observa tories, as those are never free from the pecnliar earth stratum of air. The observer from a balloon may watch eclipses and meteors quite undis turbed by clouds, and is able to gain much enlightenment on questions of refraction, aud spectroscopic lines from atmospheric substances, and may even succeed iu photographing the solar corona without au eclipse. Many balloons will doubtless be ready for insuring observations of the great meteoric shower expected next Novem ber. Loubot's Fine Decoration. The Grand Master's collar of the Order of the Legion of Honor, with which President Loubet has been in vested, is of finely wrought gold, ar.J is altogether a magnificent decoration, but very rarely assumed by the Presi dent. The Order dates from Napo leon's consulate) in 1802. It com prises four classes viz., eighty grand crosses, 160 grand officers, 400 com manders, and au unlimited number of officers and chevaliers. Unless by the exercise of authority on the part of the Grand Master, cr for some signal ser vioe to the State, all holding the Order begin as chevaliers, and are not eligible until they have exercised with distinc tion for twenty years civil or military duties, cr have done SDme important servioe to the State, or earned dis tinction in art or science. A chevalier must have held that grade for fout years before he can become au ofEctr; two years more are necessary before tbe grade of commander can be at tained; a commandor cannot become a grand officer under five years, and five years moro are needed before a grand officer can becomo a graud cross. For military men years of war services count doable. London Chronicle. A Dude's Queer Ainbltlnn. A downtown housekeeper, whose nnshand owns a magnificent St. Ber nard dog that has won bench honor; under the name of Jessie, was sur prised the othor day to receive a call from a stylish young woman, who lives in the neighborhood, and whose family are deemed quite exclusive. She vi.s core surprised at the request maue by the fashionable young lady than she was by the call. "Madame," said she, sweetly, "I have often noticed your husband leading a beautiful St. Bernard dog along the street. If ycu don't mind I should like to have you grant mo the privilege of leading the dog out for an airing." The astonished housekeeper would not let the dog go out without her husband's consent, and when be came home to dinner that evening she mentioned the strange request to him. "Oh, that's nothiug," said he, "it's only her desirs to in dulge iu a prevailing fad. Why, a young dude who lives in the block be lew ottered to pay me if I'd let him lead the dog up and djwn Chestnut street. Ho thought he could attract great attention with a log like that." ihiladolpUa Record, THAR HAIN'T NO USE; Thar hain't noose o' stralnin' yersell A through this life you jdg. The hog that's alius on tbe root Is the skinniest kind uv hog; The stone that's alius on tbe roll Is tbe scrntchedest kind ov a stone; An' the bone that's alias beln' gnawed Is tbo boniest kind uv a bone. The land that's alius beln' plowed Is the poorest sort o' land; An' the band that's alias praotlcln' loud Is the bummlest kind uv a band. A fighter alius on the train Is no good la the ring. An' a bird that never shuts bis yap Is no good on the sing. The pan that's alios on the fire Is the wornest-ont kind o' pan, An' the man that's alius getttn' higher Is the dlscontentedest man. So thnr baln't nonse o' strain hi' yerself- Yer might ez well keep cool; For the fool that's alius foolln' himself Is the foollest kind of a fool. Judge. HUMOR OF THE DAY. "He tells mo that he is wedded to his bnsiness." "Yes; his wife rum a millinery store." Puck. Bramble "Is you brother still physician on that ocean liner ?" Thorne "No, he got seasick and threw np his job." Poet "All I need is an opening, sir." Editor "What is the matter with the one you jnstcame through?" Brooklyn Life. Summer mnld? Her origin? Well, that Is largely a matter of doubt, Tosslhly Bhe was some mermaid once. And tho syllables got changed about. Detroit Journal. "They say all the love-making was on her part." "So I've heard. But then he auppliod the money, you know." Philadelphia North Amerl Jan. Park Policeman "Don't yon sea that sign, madam? 'No dogs allowed at large?'" Lady "Oh, yes; but my dog is so very small." New York Journal. Buttons "Mi ssns told me to come down and tell you she was not at home." Huffcut "Go back and toll your mistress I say I haven't called." Melbourne Weekly Times. I wish nil tbe money I've foolishly spent Would return and my pocket-book store; What Joy acJ delight I should know as I went To foolishly spend It once morel Puck. Watts "I uuderstand the Chinese are the most lightly taxed people on earth." Potts "You needn't worry about that. We shall probably civilize them before long." Indianapolis Journal. Mrs. Crimsonbeak "Isn't it a dtrange thing, John, that a hen oan't crow:" Mr. Crimsonbeak "Well, I take nolico that a hen does all the crowing that's done in this house!" Yonkers Statesman. "I understand that your friend is lifting up his room in a strictly artis tic mauner." "I guess it mnst beso,'' replied the heavy young man. "Every time I sit on a pieoe of furniture it goes to pieces." Washington Star. "Do you buy condensed milk, madam?" "I presume that we must, but I never thought of it before. I al ways order two quarts and pay for two quarts, but it never measures more than three pints." Detroit Free Press. A New York girl the other night oroke her arm while shaking hands with her beau. , After this she will probably realize that better results could be obtained by putting the same amount of energy into some othor form of salutation. Chicago Times-Heral J. , "My queen!" exclaimed her adorer, timidly. "May I kiss the royal hand?" "My faithful subject," re plied the young woman, with the air of one gently chiding him, "what is the mattor with the royal lips?" Chicago Tribune. "No," remarked the much-criticised public nan serenoly, "I never read what the newspapers say about me." "Well," replied Miss Cayenne, "I sup pose it would bo simply a waste of time. You wouldn't believe it if you did." Washington Star. Jinks "That man does not look rery smart, and yet you say he has made a million." Winks "Smart? He's a genius. He's a great inventor." "You don't say so! What did he in rent?" "He invented an apple-barrel that holds scarcely anything." New York Weekly. "IIw is your son doing at col lege?" asked the neighbor who al ways liked to be mixed up in every thing that was going on. "I think tho 'at' is superfluous," was the re ply of the old farmer, whose son hadn't written home for money in two months. Chicago Post. The youngster had been tantalizing ind bothersome all day, and finally his mother caught him and laid him across her knee. "Of conrse," she said to horself as the slipper descended, "this is done purely for bis good, but at tha same time I must admit that it is con siderable satisfaction to me." Chi cago Evening Post. Little Frances "Papa, my teaohet . ;old me to ask you to tell me some thing about Victor Hugo. To-morrow she wants me to tell the class what was the most important thing he ever did." Papa (who pretends to know it a'.l) "Victor Hugo founded the Hu- gonauts but you tell your teacher I'm payin' school taxes, aud I don't propose to have to do her work." Chicago News. Sharks Not Always Danacrous. A wnll.knnwn writf-r daclarna that Din nrevailinff iilpaa of dancer from sharks are greatly exaggerated. In- .... . . 1. - dividual suarus may poseiuiy, ue Cinkn ilAvelnn rannibat tastes, but such are exceptions, rarer than man- eatm tigers and crocodiles. in ivers aud fishermen in the lorrei Straits, Australia, where big sharks abound, do not show the least fear of them.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers