fne Forest Republican fa published every Wednesday, hf J. E. WENK. Office in Smearbaagh & Co.'i Building KLM STREET, TIOXESTA, PA. Tcrmi, (t 1 ,00 Per Year. Ko snbsorlptlons reoolved for a shorter period than three months. Correspondence solloitej from all parti of Iba country. No notioe will ba taken of anonymous ooannanloiiiiona. RATES Or ADVERTISING! One Square, one inch, one insertim..! t 00 One r-qusre, one in-l, one ra nh. .. 8 One fquare, one Inch, tnrej months. . a "0 One Square, one Inch, one fear 10 01 Two Hquares, one year 1 ml Quarter Column, one rear ,. 8 1 OH Malt Column, one year. S1III One Column, one year 100 00 Lecal advertisi-menta ten cent per line each Insertion. Marriages and rietth notice gratis. Ail bill, for yeany advertisem tnU collected quarterly Temporary advertisements Hint be peld in advance. Job work cash on deliver. ?ORE ICAN. VOL. XXX. NO. 40. TIONESTA, PA.. WEDNESDAY, MAltCII 2. 1898. S1.00 PER ANNUM. KEPUBL Some people are trying to disoover a redeeming trait in that little jabber ing idiot, the English sparrow. He is fairly nmning over with traits, but all on the wrong side, declares the Epito mist. IIo makes a good target for rifle practice. The evidence that we have plenty of material with whioh to reornit our standing army- in times of national danger, is, in the opinion of the At lanta Journal, shown in the fact that four hundred able-bodied, men have applied for position as umpires in tho national baseball leagues. Excepting the strike in the coal regions, the year 1897 was remarkably free from general disturbances among wage-earners, and wajes showed a slight upward tendency (ofTlcially es timated at from five to twenty per cent.) .In the cotton-mills of New England, however, there was- reduc tion of wages as the year ended, duo to a successful Southern competition. , In spite of tho Band and the new mines in Australia, the United States is still the greatest gold-producer of all oountries, notes tho New York Tribune. It is .likely to remain so, too, nftor- the Klondike and other Yukon regions are exploited and "worked for all they are worth." It was fifty years ago this month, by the way, that gold was discovered in Cali fornia. Not many discoveries in this century have more powerfully, affected the current of human affairs than that. The United States of Australia will in all likelihood come into existence before the present century expires. This prediction is made regardless o' the faot that Queensland and New Zealand still bold aloof from entering the proposed federation. With five of the Australian colonies wildly in favor of the idea of federation, the two re maining colonies are bound to come over ere long.- But the federation can be formed without waiting for the acquiescence of Queensland and New Zealand, and such is likely to be the case. From what can be gathered from recent news dispatches it seems that the five colonies whioh are already anxious to federate intend to fix upon some definite plau of union within the next few months, extending to Queensland and New Zealand the privilege of entering the federation later. Some idea of the immense character of the proposed federation may be derived from the fact that the Australian colonies whioh are now ready to enter the union oover 2,300, 000 square miles and contain 3,074, 998 inhabitants. Under the proposed federation the pi ogress of the colonies will be more deoided than at any time heretofore. If Australia follows in the wake of Canada, will it not score another triumph for the American prinoiple? If the well-known British statistic ian, Michael G. Mnlhall, is correot in his figures, the Gorman Empire has progressed more rapidly than any other European power during the past twenty years. In the North American Beview the statistician undertakes to establish the truth of this statement. Within tho period of time under con sideration Mr. Mulhall shows that the textile manufactures of the empire have more than doubled in amount. Id 1876 the German cotton mills con sumed only 280,000 tons of raw fibre, whereas at the present time they con sume 690,000 tons. This is not sur prising in view of the faot that these mills contain 4,700,000 spindles, or considerably more than any other country of Europe. What is true of the ootton industry in the matter of growth is also true of the silk indus try. In silk manufactures Germany ranks second only to France, and dur ing the past twenty years her rate of progress in this line has been much more rapid. With respect to tbe man ufacture of sugar, Germany's output of this product Las more than trebled since 1876. In the manufacture of in dustrial implements, hardware and machinery, it appears that the empire has also made extraordinary progress. Twonty years ago the aggregate debts of all the States inoluded within tbe present German empire amounted to 8620,000,000; to-day the burden whioh the empire carries aggregates the amazing sum of 82,900,000,000. This iuorease is due to the fact that the Government has incurred bonded in debtedness in purchasing railway sys tems; but since the investment pays handsomely, she will be euabled in time to cancel the eutire debt out of her railway profits. Altogether, the prog ress which tbe empire Las achieved in various directions during the time under review has been most remark able; and in view of the intense rivalry between the European powers which exist at this time, it serves to throw important light upon the situation. IN THE The mother rocks In the firelight, The little one on her knena, And her song and tbe glow of the embers Steal through the shadows to me. And I follow the highways of fancy To a valley of long ago. As the mother sings In tbe firelight, Booking to and fro. In tbe heart of that sunlll valley I la a sohoolhouse, prim and white. And the voices of ohlldren singing The song she sings to-night; And hills rise blue above me. And the river la fair below. As the mother sings In the firelight, Booking to and (ro. THE CLAIM I By AD. H. 01mm i V HE wagon was old ana oreaneu dis mally, as the lank, rongh-coated gray mules dragged it along over the frozen prairie road. The har ness was a com bination of ropes and well-worn straps, whose rough edges had here and there rubbed off patches of hair from the animals' thin sides and sharp backs. On the front seat of the wagon sat a girl, with the lines in her hands. She looked to be about nineteen. A mass of dark-gold curls surmounted he shapely head; her eyes were bright hazel in oolor, and the breath of the chill wind that crept up under the old wagon oover gave a vivid tintiug to her pretty cheeks. "Faith, how much farther is it to Uncle Ethan's?" asked a slender boy of ten, who occupied a low benoh by the small stove, that stood almost in the centre of the wagon-bed. "A long ways yet, dear," answered the fair driver. "More than a hun dred miles, I should say." "I'm gettin' most awfnl tired," murmured Bessie, a curly-headed mite, little more than five years old, as she nestled in the folds of a huge buffalo robe near her brother. "We are all getting tired out, Bes sie," said Faith Haskins, a shadow crossing her brow. "But cheer up, dears, we'll reach Unule Ethan's some time this week, I hope. And let ub be thankful that we have even this poor shelter from the cold. " As she spoke she cast her eyes about the interior of the canvas-cov ered wagon, then out across the dreary stretch of houseless prairie over whioh scattering flakes of snow had begun to fall. At the rear end of the wagon was a pile of bed clothes, while near the oentre stood the little Btove, in which a cheerful fire was burning. On the ridge-pole at the top of the bows, hung several cooking utensils, and under the front seat was a large provision box, a sack of corn-meal, a side of bacon and other necessary articles. Almost a year ago Faith Haskins' father had died, leaving her alone on a bleak Nebraska claim, with ner little brother and sister, Clint and Bessie. Their mother had died only eight months before the father. The sorrow of the lonely orphans was very great, and, being very poor, theie seemed nothing hopeful for them to whieh they could look forward in the future. Faith, however, did not yield to de epair. She went bravely to work to earn a living for herself and the two children left to her care. Besides cultivating a small piece of ground with Clint's help, she had mauaged to teach a short term of school in the winter. But it had taken nearly all she made to pay the doctor's bills and the funeral expenses. Then her mother's brother, Ethan Bartloy, who lived on a cattle ranch in Southwest ern Kansas, had written Faith advis ing her to sell the olaim for whatever it would bring, and inviting her and Clint and Bessie to come and make their home with him. Very gladly Faith accepted the offer from Uncle Ethan, but finding it im possible to convert their effeots into cash, owing to "hard times," she left the olaim in charge of a renter and de cided to make the journey by wagon. Many of the young claim-holders in that part of Nebraska would have been happy to have married the girl, but she cared for none of them. The travelers had now reached a point a little south of the centre of Kansas, and were pressing on toward Uncle Ethan's ranch as fast as the jaded mules could drrw them. Faith .was anxious to reach their destination, as the school near her nnole'a home was waiting for her. It was a lonely and desolate sight that met the girl s eyes as they moved slowly along over the brown, cheerless prairie. For miles no sign of human habitation broke the wild monotony, save at long intervals, when a lonely god shanty or a dug-out could be seen nestling iu the rank dead grass. It was about four in the evening when Faith drove the weary mules down a little slope that led into a low, winding valley. A scant growth of oraggy elms and ghostly sycamores and oottonwoods skirted the small crooked stream, with denBe thickets of wild plum and persimmon scattered here and there. A quick glance about decided Faith to stop here for the night. She was just turning from the rutty road into a grassy glade, when there was a sharp jolt, and one of the wheels suddenly went down into a deep, rain-waahed gully, accompanied by a sound of breaking timbers. . Au involuntary cry of dismay scaped the driver as she leaned out 4Jf FIRELIGHT. In the heart of that sunlit valley la a voloe I used to hear; In the swell of that far off chorus It rises full and clenr. And the sheen of a childish benuly Comes back with Its bloom and glow, As tbe mother sings In the firelight, Hocking to and fro. And lo, as I lie hero and listen, The vision changes, and then In the heart of a "love lit" valley She Is ainglng that song again. And I catch In tbe face of ourbnby The features I used to know, As the mother sings in the firelight, Booking to and fro. ' Albert Biguluw Pulao. - JUMPERS. 8 GIBSON. and saw that one of the wheels was broken! "Oh, Faithl What will we do now?" cried Clint, as he hurried forward to view the wreck. Bessie began to cry bitterly. "Never mind, dears," said Faith, bravely. "We can get the wheel mended somewhere." She climbed out of the unfortunate wagon and with Clint's assistance began unhitching the team. Bessie, with tear-wet face, watched them from under the canvas-cover. The snow storm was increasing in power and the icy wind blew tbe flakes through the long, dead grass with a sharp, hissing sound. As the mules were led from the wagon the sound of approaching hoofs came through the snow-laden air and the next instnut two men mounted on sturdy ponies reined in near the broken vehicle. They were men of about thirty, bearded, bronzed and clad in the rough garb usually worn by plains men. Broad-brimmed hats co.vered their heads and a brace of heavy revolvers was stuck into their wide leathern belts. To one unaccustomed to the dress and manners of plainsmen the sudden appearance of these men might have induced a feeling akin to terror. Bnt during the two years and a half whioh Faith had spent on the Nebraska frontier, she had grown used to such types of Western character. "Good eveuin', ma'am," said Ike Barolay, dismounting from his pony. "Had a break-down, I see. Bad job" he remarked, examining the broken wheel. "Yes, sir," answered Faith. "Is there a place near here where I can get the wheel mended?" "Wa-al, thar's ole Berger'B black smith shop over by Pete Miley's store, bnt it's plumb three mile from hyer," replied Ike. Faith looked troubled. "Whar's yer men folks?" inquired Ike, glancing around. "There are no men with us," re turned Faith. "Wot I Yer don't mean to sav ver travelin' alone with only them two many said Jim Hancock. "Yes," answered Faith, simply. We are from Nebraska and are on our way to our uncle's ranch on the Arkansas Biver in this State." "Wa-al, I'll be switohed!" ex- olaimed Jim, growing a little red in tne face, as lie quickly reminded him self that he was iu the presence of a woman. "Yer 'see, ma'am," explained Ike. "it seems plumb cur'ous like to see a woman travelin alone over this lone some kentry in sich weather. But I'll tall yer wot Jim au' me 11 do for ver, If yer will in' to trust us, we'll tote that wheel over to ole Berger's shop au' git him to fix it up for yer." "I hate to trouble you bo much," said a aith. "It'll be no trouble to ns, ma'am," Jim assured her. "Ike an' me was goin' over to Pete Miley's store any way." Assisted by his companion, Ike soon had the wagon propped up and the broken wheel removed. Turning to Faith, Jim said: "Ma'am, it's goin' to be rough weather to-night, an' I reckon a cabin with a fire-place would be right smart better than oampin hyer in the wagon. Thar's good cabin beyond thet patch o' tim ber belongs to afriend o' ourn achap who s visum his ole borne in Illinoy. Yer welcome to take the kids an' camp tnar, if yer will. "I'd be very thankful for shelter from this storm," said Faith. "If the owner wouldn't care " "He's not one o' them kind this friend o' ourn in Illinoy. He's open hearted as a summer day, an' the most go-ahead young settler in these parts, said Jim. Ike led the way to the absent man's cabin, whioh was on the other side of the timber from where the wagon had stopped. It was a new log structure, tightly daubed with lime and sand There was a snug fire-place in one corner aud tbe room contained a table, four chairs and a bed. The deer rifle thrown across antlers above the door, aud a man's old straw hat, a ooat aud blue jeans overalls on pegs near the head of the bed proclaimed the fact that the owner must be a bachelor. Jim soon made a roaring fire ou the open hearth. Then, after he and Ike had transferred such things as Faith needed from the wagou to the cabin, they mounted their ponies and rode away, carrying tbe crippled wheel be tweeu them. They assured Faith that they would fetch it back that night. When the claim-holders, Ike Bare lay and Jim Hancock, reached the blacksmith shop, just back of Miley's gsueral store, they tumbled the wheel to the ground, just as Berger. tall, gannt and dust-blackened, was closing I up for the night. "Hold on, Berger!" called Jim, springing from his pony and begin ning to push the wheel into the shop. e want this wheel mended up right away to-night !" lea, an do a good lob none o yer blotchin'!" put in Ike. "We'll pay yer when ye finish." Berger took the wheel aud set to work immediately to repair it. Jim and Ike hitched their ponies back of the shop, where they were out of the keen wind. Then they started toward Miley's store. Panning before one of the win- clows, they peered within. Miley was tying up a package for a short, fat man with a ragged red woolen scarf around his neck, while a solitary figure was warming at the stove in the back part of the store. Suddenly an exclamation burst from Jim, and he pointed toward the man by the stove: "Look, Ike! If thnr ain't Bob Wood I'll swaller thet wheel I" "Yer right, by ginger!" ejaculated Ike, as he peered in above the rim of frost on the pane at a well-built, hand some young man, about thirty, who, divested of hat and overcoat, was giv ing himself a thorough warming at Pete Miley s rnst-begrimed stove. "Wot'll Bob Bay?" "Bout his cabin?" "Yes." "Lightniu an' razors! I never thought o' thet!" "Say, Ike, I ve got an idee! whis pered Jim. "We can have a good-joke on Bob the best thing out! "Wot is it?" Jim whispered a few words into Ike's ear. Ike broke into a chuckle of merriment. "We'll do it, by jinison!" he ex claimed. "It won't hurt thet leetlo woman, and it will pay Bob baok for some o his own everlastin jokes on us." Entering the store, they spoke to Miley, then strode back to tbe stove to greet their fallow claim-holder. "Jest got back, Bob? they asked, as they shook his hand warmly. "Xes; just got in on the four o clock train, and walked over from the station. What s the news?" he asked. "News?" repeated Jim, assuming a long and reflective visage. "Wa-al, nothin' much, 'oeptin' ole Kiler's sold out an' left. An' lemme see; yes. thar's Sukehouse, he got thvowed by his broncho an' broke his collar bone. Us galloots have been doin' wot we could to patch him up. An' then, thar's some new settlers comin' in lately an' wantin' timber claims, an jnmpin' 'em, too, when they get a chance. But how dfl yer find the folks back yonder in Illinoy?" "All well and happy, replied Bob Wood. "But what's this you say about claim-jumpers?" "Oh, yes! I reokon yer heerd bout yer claim, an' thet's hurried yer baok," remarked Ike. "My claim! What do you mean?" and Bob Wood's blue eyes dilated widely. "I thought maybe yer'd heerd 'bout it 'fore now," said Jim, very inno cently. "Wa-al, yer see yer claim has been kinder jumped a family moved into yer shanty. They have, DT ginger!" ' Do you mean to say tliatBome low- down sneak has dared to jump my claim while I've been gone?" he cried, sudden flame of anger mounting to his handsome face. "Looks powerfully thet way," re turned Jim. "Seed a' kivered wagon thar, an' smoke pourin' ont o' yer chimney as we rid over hyer." With a quick stride Bob Wood walked out of the store, got his horse from the stable, where it had been kept during his absenoe, and was Boon galloping away through the snowy dusk of the early evening. When be was beyond earshot of Miley's store the two conspirators went off into roars of laughter, after which they let the old store-keeper into their loke. "It's a good one on Wood," said Miley, joining heartily in the laughter, "an' calls for cigars at Bob's expense, don't it?" said Jim. "Exactly," agreed Ike. "Good enough!" said Miley, as he handed out the box of his choicest cigars. "Wonder if Bob won't git mad at us? said Ike. "No; a feller thet can give aa good jokes as Bob can can take one on him self, answered Jim. Meautime, Bob Wood, his brain full of wrath at the unprincipled persons who had "jumped his claim." was Bearing iia cabin. He was too angry to heed the snow and the cutting northwest wind. One purpose ruled him to order the claim-jumpers off his land at once. He rode into the persimmon thicket, where he left his horse out of the storm. Then he strode rapidly toward the cabin. "If they go out quietly there will be no trouble, but if they refuse to go He did not finish the sentence, but his eyes flashed threateningly. Little Bessie was alone at the cabin, Faith and Clint having gone to the dugout stable to make the mulos oom fortable for the night. The little girl was holdiug the door partly open, while she looked wonder ingly upward at the vast descent of the snow. The glow of the tire-plaoe fell upon her and made her look like snow bound fairy. She gave a start as Bob Wood suddenly appeared before her in the snow-oovered path. "Where's your pa, littlegirl?" asked Bob, as he pushed past her. - "lie's gone," auawered Bessie, look ing shyly at this abrupt visitor. "Gone! Where to?" he asked. "Gone to Ueaben," said the little girl, simply. "Humph!'1 ' muttered Bob, to liiin self. "1 didu't know claim-jumpers went there! . Then he glanced hastily around the room, mere was his table bearing the remnants of a supper, while in an opposite corner a few boxes and some bedding were stacked away. "Well," he said, dryly, "it's very plain they hove come to stay." Besides, remembering how Faith always treated her company, cloned tbe door, and brought a chair np to the fire-place. "Won t you have a seat an warm? she asked, looking into the young man's handsome face. "No, little one," he answered quickly, but the Bevere expression on his face changed to one of tenderness as be gazed down into the pretty, in nocent eyes of tne tiny hostess. He liked children, and, banishing for the time being the thought that some of her folks were doing him great nn- kindness iu thus appropriating his claim, he gave her a paper of mixed candies, which he had bought at Miley's. He had just received Bes sie's thauks when the door opened and Faith entered the cabin. The eyes of Faith Haskins and Bob Wood met in one long, searching glance. She turned pale and leaned back against the door. Bob was him self at first too agitated to speak. Becovering himself, however, he ap proached the girl. "Faith! Faith Haskins!" he cried. Is it, indeed, you?" "Yes, Bob," she managed to artic ulate. "I never expected to see you again ." She had a struggle to keep the tears back. The sight of Bob Wood bad brought the past all baok and made her feel strangely weak and un nerved. "Come, Faith," said Bob, taking her hand with a touch that thrilled her, "sit down by the fire there and tell me all about your life since you left Illinois." A few minutes later, when Clint came in, he found Bessie sitting coz- lly on the knee of a fine-looking stranger by the fire-place, while Faith, in a chair opposite him, was telling how they uame to be there. It was about two hours later when Ike and Jim returned with the mend ed wheel. They were somewhat sur prised to find Bob at the covered wagon whistling away to himself, as if he was the happiest man on those prairies. "Hello, Bob!" they called. "Wot of them claim-jumperB?" They ve got possession and are going to keep it," he returned. Then Ike and Jim laughed and Bob joined in heartily. "Well, boys, you ve had your loke and now I'll tell you bow it's turned out," said Bob. "Back in Illinois this brave little woman, Faith Has kins, and I went to school together. Our parents were near neighbors and we were lovers from childhood. But her father didn't think I was much ac count for auything but to twang a guitar or fiddle, so when be started to Nebraska with his family he told me frankly his objections and that I must not think of Faith. But I did think of her and went on loving her more than ever. I gave np my idle habits, taught school a few terms, then came here and took this timber claim. When I had a good home of my own to offer her I intended to hunt Faith's folks up aud win her. It was chiefly to get on their track that I went back to my old home. From one of the neighbors I found out that Mr. and Mrs. Haskins were both dead and Faith was still unmarried. That's why I hurried back. I was going to make things a little more oomfortable at my oabin. Then I was going up into Ne braska to find Faith. But a kind baud guided hor to my cabin out of the storm, aud neither she nor the children shall suffer for the comforts of this life as long as I am able to work for them. I am going to go with them to their uucle's ranch on the Arkansas Biver. But just as soon as Faith's visit there is finished she is coming back with me. You under stand me, boys?" "Wa-al, now, I'm not tbe dullest ole grub-hoe on these prairies, I reckon!" returned Ike, with a grin. Now York Ledger. A Dainty Breath. If the breath is tainted after eating onions, drink strong coffee noir, or chew coffee berries, or a stick of cinna mon, and wash the mouth out with camphor and myrrh. The following reoipe can be used with great advan tage for unpleasant breath: Powdered charcoal, one part; white sugar, one part; chocolate, three parts; melt and mix together, and eat iu the form of lozenges. The teeth must always be kept perfectly clean, aud should be well brushed with salt and charcoal every now and then. Ten drops of myrrh in a glass of warm water should also be used to rinse out the mouth and to brush the teeth every few days. New York World. Hell of the Blue and the If ray. Chaplain Tuttlo's historic bell hangs in St, Mark's Church, Chicago, aud is one of the seven wonders of the city. Tuttle wasuhapluin at Camp DoutUbs, and through his efforts a chapel was built seating 600 people. 1 he bell for the chapel was cast from the copper and silver coins contributed by the garrison aud prisoners of war at the camp in 1861. After the war Chaplain Tuttle founded St. Mark's Church, aud the Government allowed him to hang the bell of the blue aud gray iu the steeple. New York Mail aud Ex press. Mem Who Bond Wealilnitau's Boat. When Washington crossa J the Dela ware on Christmas night, 1776, tho boats which carried the men to meet the British were maimed by twenty two brave men from Beverly, Ma.au. In remembrance of the event their de scendants have juat held anniversary exercises in their memory at the rooms cf the Historical Society of that place. THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE. STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY THE FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. Two taslonfrTwo Hard Case. Two's Company An Illustration Wasting flood MnnyA Wis Child A Modern Education rracllcat Finance, Etc. A woman looks into a glass Until she's fascinated; A man looks In another kind Till he's Intoxicated. Philadelphia Bulletin. Two Hard Cases. "You have a hard case," said tho lawyer. "So did the safe," said the burglar, "bnt I cracked it." Tho Ledger. An Illustration. Husband "That little Jones boy seems to be remarkably fond of cake." Wife "Extremely! Why, he even eats his mother's home-made oak el" Puck. Two's Company. Mr. Wilberforce "What do yon think of the third party, Miss Dim ling?" Miss Dimling "Oh, I always do tested a ohaperon." Louisville Courier-Journal. Wasting Good Money. Charles Bragg "Yes, Miss Bright ly, it costs me ten thousand a year to live." Miss Brightly "Oh, Mr. Bragg, do you think it's worth it?" Boston Traveller. A Wise Child. Mamma "Ethel, what do you mean by shouting in that diagraoeful fash ion? See how quiet Willie is." Ethel "Of oourse he's quiet. That's our game. He's papa coming home ate and I'm you." Practical Finance. Jones "They say our circulation is twenty-two dollars per capita. Now, you haven't twenty-two dollars, have you?" Smith "Yes; I have." Jones "Have you? Lend me five, will you?" Puck. A Mr'l.rn Education. Proud Mother "At last, my dear your education is finished, aud yon have diplomas from the highest seats of learning in the world." Cultured Daughter (wearily) "Yes, and now I'm too old to marry." New York Weekly. Work of the String Hand. Tourist "What is that crowd over the way?" Native "That's our string band." Tourist "Preparing to give an en tertainment., I suppose?" Native "Yes; going over tbe river to lynch a horse thief." Chicago News. Columbus's Mlsluke. Teacher "Did Columbus know that he disooverved a new continent?" Class "No; he thought it was In dia." Teacher "Correct. - Why did he think he bad found India?" Bright Boy- -"I s'pose it was 'cause the inhabitants was Judiaus." New York Weekly. Why the UlralTe Is Dumb. The children had written composi tions on the giraffe. They were read ing them aloud to the class. At last the time came for little Willie to read bis. It was as follows: "The giraffe is a dumb auimal aud cannot express himself by any sound, because its neck is so long its voice gets tired on its way to its mouth." From Little Willie. "I had an adventure the other even ing,"said Miss Autumn to a neighbor on whom she was calling. "It was quite dark and I saw a strange man just ahead of me aud I ran until I was nearly exhausted." "And did the man get away from you?" asked little Willie, who was listening. Chicago News. He Knew tha Business. "What did that mar. want?" asked the druggist. "A pjut of wbiaky," said the new clerk, who was on trial for a week. "Did he have a prescription?" "No." "Well, what did you do?" "I wrote one for hiui." "Consider yourself permanently en gaged." Cleveland Leader. Just Hit It. Thompson " Something worrying you, Newman?" Newman "Forgotten what my wife ordered this morning. I remem ber that, at the time, I thought, 'Well, that's a sad subject.' What could it have been?" Thompson "Was it aad-irons?" Newman "That's juat what it was three sad-irons!" Judge. The New Mlrl. The typewriter girl is never dis couraged. Ou answering an ad. the principal of the establishment said to her: . "I am very sorry, Mixs, but you came too late. I have already en gaged a young mau stenographer." "Well, introduoe me to him. Per haps I can marry hiiu, aud then I can take bis place," was the prompt responsee." New York World. Cireat Scheme. Watson "Now is your chance, old mau, to get in ou the ground floor of my new company. Stock is sure to be at a premium before the mouth ii out." Bjenks "What's your scheme?" Watson "Compauy orgauized to stand, by when the returning Klou dikers shake the dust of Alaska froui their feet, aud gather up the dust, ami smelt p,ut the gold iu it." Souieiville Journal. COOO-BYE, SWEETHEART. "Oood-hye, Hwenthoartl" Long nfter we hail parted, love. Tin) tender words rang In my ears; They seemed to echo from tho spheres That smiled upon ns from above. "ood-bye, Sweetheart!" "(lood-liye, Hweetheart!" My soul forgot tiie sordid cares ('renting the tide of time and chance; I was the queen of love's romance. And breathed but love's ambrosial airs. 'Hood-bye, (Sweetheart!" "Oood-byo. (Sweetheart!" Let fortune frown nnd fate alarm, Let me be cheek by jowl with pain. This precious phrase shall t 1 11 nemaln Anainuiet tocheer and charm. "Good-bve, Sweetheart!" - Now York Home Journal. HUMOR OF THE DAY. "Why, Teddy, dear, what is tho matter? Don't you like asparagus?" "Yes, Mrs. Birchum, bnt the handles are so hot!" Trained Motherhood. Ilattio "Maude doean't show het ago at all, does she?" Ella "No, but you can see where she scratched it out of the family Bible." Chicago News. She "Don't you think it is dan gerous to cat mushrooms?" He "Not a bit of danger in it. The dan ger is iu eating toadstools." Chicago News. "Did yon read about that mince pie ton feet in diameter, Mrs. Jones?" "Yea; bnt I presume my husband's mother has made bigger oues." Chi cago Beoord. Frances (aged six, who loves her kitty) "Are you happy, mamma?" Mamma "YeB, dear. Why?" Fran ces (listening) "I don't hear yon purr!" Harper's Bazar. Edith "She sings like a canary." Bertha "Oh, no; a cauary begins to sing whon people commence to talk; people commeuce to talk when she be gins to "sing." Boston Transcript. "So old BlackRtone, the lawyer, ob jected to your calling on his daughter last night, did he?" "Yes; butl fixed it all right. Asked for a stay, and it was granted." Cincinnati Commer cial. She "The Bicyle Gazette offers a prize for tbe best article on any sub ject connected with the wheel." He "Why not Bend in an essay on 'How to Mend a Wheel with a Hairpin?" Pnok. "I have had to" quit playing chess with Tompkins." "Why?" "Well, he gets mad if I get interested and beat him; and he gets mad if I get sleepy and let him beat me." Chicago Becord. Gallagher "Me grandfather iu the onld country had moro money than he could ; count. " Donahoo "Oi have heard, bedad, thot the old man could not count more thin tin." Indiana polis Journal. "What do you mean," asked the city editor, "by comparing the air to frozen quinine?" "I meant to say," said the new reporter with proud hu mility, "that it was bitter cold." Iu diauapolis Journal. Hungry Higgins "What do you think of this here football, anyway?" Weary Watkins "There is something in it called a rush line, ain't they?" "Yaas." "Well, that ain't my yine." Indianoplis Jouruul. "I asked tho young womau iu front of me to remove her big hat so I could see the stage." "Did she do it?" "No: she said if ahe held her hat iu her lap she couldn't see the Btage her Belf." Chicago Beoord. "Bridget, did you bring np that jar of blackberries I asked yon to bring?" "I did, mem?" "You aro sure they are blackberries, are yon?" "Yes, mem; but I hud to open a dozeu ja-arsbefure I found them." Chicago Tribune. "I suppose I oau have your vote for 8500," said the promoter. "Not much," replied the legislator. "My price is 81000." "But last Monday you offered it to me for 8500." "Oh, well, that waB bargaiu day." Chicago Evening Post. "I doesu' reckon dnt yob's gwiater get you all's pay fum dut ar'eoucsi'n," Baid the colored porter. "Why rot?" asked the collector. "They have buiuo assets." "Yes, stir; dcy has lome. But dey inn' equal to dull uureli.ibili ties." Washington Star. The early bird gets caught by the milliner. Nature begins fools, and women finish them. Homo is that dear place where we are not afrnid to break crackers into our oyster aoup. Talking is like riding awheel; a man may know when to stop, but may not know how to stop. Chicago Becord. Attacked by a dray F.ale. While Peter Egelston was cutting railroad ties near Cascade, N. Y. , he found the deserted nest of a gray eagle. While examining the nest ami its con tents he heard a loud noise, aud sud denly the old eagle had struck him iu the face with bill and claws, aud, taking a circuit through the uir.aliii'hted ou a tree about '200 yards distant, but iu plaiu view of the nest. Agaiu the bird made au attack, aim ing at Egelstou's head, but he avoided her, aud she struck him cm the arm, making a alight wound. She returned to her post of observation, but soju made a third attack when Egelston struck her with a club and brought her to the ground, where, after a severe struggle, he succeeded iu killing her. She measured seven feet two inches across the outstretched wings. New York Press. Th Terrible Uuiu-lum Bullet. Dum dum bullets work both ways ou the Indian fiontiers, aa the Afridi tribesmen are blunting the bullet tips, too. The two pipers of the (lordou Highlanders, who distinguished them selves at Dargai, lost, one his leg, tbe other his foot, owing to the terilU splintering of the bone, caused by the "modified" Lee-Metford missilea
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers