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ORES
UBLICAH.
VOL. XXX. NO. 41. TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, JAN. 20, 1898. SS1.00 PER ANNUM.
Rep
3T
Mnlhall estimator tbat the civilized
nations pay annually $13,700,000,000
for food.
Secrotary Cuhurn, of the Kansas
Board of Agriculture, declares that
the' farmers of tbat State are $40,
000,000 richer than they were a year
go.
Tho Sultan has forbidden the nee of
the bicycle in Turkey, on the ground
that it "is immoral and dangerous to
the State." Home enterprising manu-
faoturer would probably be able to
overcomohis Majesty's objections to
tho wheel by presenting him with a
revised edition of a "bicycle built for
two" a bicycle built for a harem,
-- i-
In a .gonenlogical way tho funniest
thing on record is tbat Menolik, Negus
of Abyssinia, insists on his descent in
a straight line from Solomon and the
Queen of Sheba. If this were ques
tioned the august Negus would have
your head cut off, or if you hinted
that there was a bar sinister somewhere
you might be impaled. There is,
however, a noble family iu France, the
Counts of Noe, who show on their
family blazon the Ark and that most
adventurous voyager, Noah, and they
claim that veteran seaman as their re
mote ancestor.
American labor is acknowledged to
be more efficient than tho labor of any
other country. We are fortunate ia
' tho possession of a class of skilled
mechanics who are endowed with suf-
'flciont brains and alertness to quickly
master the most intricate machines.
Our common school system, which
has been maintained for 100 years,
has laid tho foundation of superior
averago intelligence, and our numer
ous excellent scientific schools and
schools of technology have given great
opportunity to boys of a practical and
mechanical turn of mind.
Says the Now York Times: A con
temporary states that it is safer to be
convicted murderer iu the United
States thau an innocent man, and
submits these data as proof: Not one
convicted murderer in fifty is hanged
or killed by electricity; of the men
lynched a much larger proportion
than 1 iu CO was innocent. We have
no means at baud for verifying theso
figures, nor are we able to determine
what proportion of tho population are
convicted murderers or what propor
tion are unjustly executed. The con
clusion, merely from casual observa
tion, seems plausible; the logic is
Bound. Still, if it be not too optimis
tic, wo should like some more data to
guide us."
After all, schools are the greatest
civilizers, exclaims the New York Mail
and Express. Secretary Bliss, of the
Interior Departmon!, reports 28,030
Indian children enrolled in tho schools
last year. Tribal relations nro being
broken up and Indian la'ids divided
lutxTsoveralty. The aborigine, how
ever has not yet been educated up to
the point of holding on to ths laad,
and as a consequence it soon passes
Into the hat) Ja of his white brothers,
notwithstanding the paternal restric
tions thrown round him by the gov
ernment. ' Tho Indiau h not yjt
learned the necessity of promptly
meeting taxes, and owing to his failure
to ooine to time with respect to this
exaction, a considerable a.nouut of his
lands, in Minnesota, passed from him
last year. Until our red brother learns
f?Jt taxes are as certain as that other
certain thing, death, he should have
some special provision in law fur his
protection.
. One of the really valuable product!
of the Government Printing Office at
Washington is the annual report which
Oeorge F. Kuuz renders oa the yiald
of precious stones in the United States,
deolarea the New York S:iu. Mr,
Kunz's expert knowledge iu this spoo
ialty has been for years at the service
of the United States Geological Stir.
. vey, and thus becomes part of official
literature. The report for 1830, just
published, contains a table of values
as represented by the various gems
discovered iu tliQ United Statos dttr
ing the year. It is interesting to ob
serve how the values are apportioned
Here are a few items:
TurquoUto 110,000
Sapphire 10.0.10
fsh quartz 10,0)0
Tourmaline 3 Oiifl
Garnet 2,i0(t
Iluby 1,03 J
Amethyst Mi
Topaz 200
Opul 20
Emerald Nou
Diamond Soaa
The list includes many precious
minerals which would not strictly be
classed as i..iiu.l tha tjLiii v.iluo
assigned isS uuie under $11111,00).
The prominence of the turquoise iu the
American list ia recent, tho yield ba
'liS large il Arizona aud New Mexioj.
THE LAST
I would not die In springtime,
When nature first awakes
When men Rot out their wheelbarrows,
And spades, and hoes, and rakes,
And twist their backs, and plnnt their
seeds,
And wait to hear thorn sprout.
Whlloyet they stone their neighbors' hens
That come to scratch them out.
I would not die in summer,
When everything Is ripe.
And fallen man Is writhing
In raw cucumber's gripe;
When baseball cranks nro talking,
And nil the Inndscape o'er
Is sprinkled thick with flowers
And "garden soss" galore.
A Romance
HE habitues
of a small
French re
staurant on
the West
Side were
receutly tho
guests at a
humble wed-
(T4j dine recep-
lion, whtoh wa? the upshot of one of
the most pathetio chance meetings
that ever were brought about by the
surging ocean of cosmopolitan life in
this greatest of cosmopolitan cities.
I be customers of the restaurant con
stitute one of the thousands of little
worlds of which the American metro
polis is made up, and for two or three
months a Hussiau artist and a Polish
piano teacher formed a separate micro
cosm iu that world. The other
frequenters of the place are French
men, French Canadians, Swiss and
Belgians, but Aleksey Alekseevitch
Smirnoff and Panna (Polish for Mrs.)
Roushetzka are natives of Russia. It
not until they bad taken their
supper at the same table every even
ing for several weeks that each of
them became aware of the othor s
knowledge of Russian, and the faot
thrilled them both like the sudden
discovery of a close blood relationship.
But there was a far more interesting
and, as it has since proved, a far more
important revelation in store for them.
Panna Koushetzka was a woman of
thirty-five, a well- preserved brunette,
slender and stately, and with features
somewhat irregular, but full of typical
Polisli grace. one bad been educated
partly in Russia and partly in Paris.
She had come to New York, after
losing her husband, with a small so
prano voice and with great musical as
pirations. The voice had deserted
her before her ambitions were on the
road to realization, and, heartbroken
and penniless, she was driven to take
up piano lessons as a means of liveli
hood. Smirnoff was a bachelor, some twen
ty-three years her senior, thongh he
looked fully ten years younger than
his age. Tall and wide awake, with a
brisk . military carriage, a military
steel-gray mustache anil blond hair,
nnstreaked with silver save at the
temples, he appeared in the prime of
health and activity, while his never-
failing good humor aud hearty, sonor
ous, genuinely Muscovite laughter
made one feel in the presence of a
young man of twenty-five. That bad
been his actual age when he left his
native country, aud after some three
deoades of peregrination in Western
Europe he had at lust settled down in
New York. He is a jack of all trades
and master of quite a few, aud al
though free-hand drawing is one of his
strongest points he is clever enough
with his pencil to meet the require
ments of a small electro-engraving es
tablishment, where he has steady em
ployment at a modest salary.
The language of the restaurau
French, spoken with a dozen different
aocents. One day, however, when the
soup was exceptionally satisfactory,
and Smirnoff, who is something of an
epicure, waB going off in ecstasies over
it, a word of his native tongue es
caped his lips. "Slavny (capital)
soup!" he murmured to himself, as he
was bringing the second spoonful un
der his mustache.
The piano teacher started.
What is that yon said just now
'slavny soup?' she inquired, with a
flush of agreeable surprise.
This was the way they came to speak
Russian to each other, aud from that
evening ou it was the language of their
conversations at the restaurant table.
Although there are mauy thousands of
Russian-speaking immigrants in New
York, the artist and the music teacher
felt iu the French restaurant like the
only two Russians thrown together in
a foreign country, and the little place
which had hitherto drawn them to the
quality of its suppers aud its gonial
company now acquired a new charm
for them.
They delighted to converse in Rus
sian, and the privacy which it lent to
their chats, iu the midst of people who
could not understand a word of what
they were saying to each other, be
came the boud of a more intimate ac
quaintance between the two. They
were reticent on the subject of their
antecedents, but both were well read
and traveled, and there was no lack of
topics iu things bearing upon Russia,
Paris, current American life, the stage
art, literature and the like. The gal
lant old Russiau was full of the most
interesting information aud anecdotes
anu, tneir friendship growing apace,
he gradually came to introduce into
his talks bits of autobiography, though
they were all of the most niodeBt
nature, aud he seemed to steer clear
of a certain event which formed i
memorable epoch in the story of hi
life.
Panna Roushetzka neither asked
Liiu questions nor caw fit to initiate
1$
him into some of the more intimate de
SUMMONS.
I would not die in autumn,
When footbnll has the call,
And long-hnlred youths are training
Home other youths to maul;
When politics Is booming
Thanksgiving close at hand,
And cider mills are running
Throughout the happy land.
I would not die in winter.
E'en though it be so drear.
Fur then, you see, there's Christmas,
With all its goodly cheer.
No, I'd not die In winter,
Nor Rummer, spring, uor fall
And come to think it over,
I would not die at all.
Boston Tost,
of New York.
tails of her own life, though by this
time it was becoming clearer to her
every day that her Russian friend was
in love with her and about to approach
her with a proposal whioh she was by
no means inclined to accept. And
yet, like many another woman under
similar circumstances, she was flat
tered by his passion, and. being
drawn to him by the magnetism of
sincere friendship, she bad not the
heart to cut their agreeable acquaint
ance short.
He procured some lessons for her,
escorting her home after supper and
took her to theatres and publio lec
tures. All of which attention she
would aocept with secret self-condetn
nation, each time vowing in her heart
that on the following evening she
would change her restaurant. Never
theless, and perhaps unbeknown to
herself, she even grew exacting, and
on one occasion, when she had ex
pressed a desire to see Duse in Mag-
da, aud he remarked thereupon, with
a profusion of impulsive apologies, that
he was kept from the pleasure of tak
ing her to the performance by a previ
ous engagement, her face fell, and for
five miuutes she did not answer his
questions and witticisms except in
rigid monosyllables. This augnred
well for him, ho thought. He did not
yield, but at the next walk they took
together he "popped the question" in
a rather original way.
They stood in front of the house in
which she had her room. He had bid
her eood-niuht and was about to doff
his hat with that dashing sweep of his
which makes him ten years younger,
when he checked himself, and said, as
though ill jest:
Is it not foolish, Panna lioush
etzka?"
What is foolish?" she queried
without a shadow of presentiment as to
what was coming.
"Why, the way we go ou living
separately, each without what could
justly be called a home. I am madly
in love with you, l'anna Koushetzka,
and I feel like devoting my life to
your happiness."
She stood eyetug the door of
bouse across the street and made no
response.
"Panna Koushetzka! he implored
ber tremulously.
I 11 give you my answer to-mor
row, she whispered.
Mine. Koushetzka has not come
yet, has she? Any letters for me?"
Smirnoff asked the next evening, as he
entered the little restaurant with his
usual blitheness. Like some others
of the customers he received his mail
at the restaurateur's address.
The Frenchman Lauded him a letter.
When he opened it he read, in Rus
sian, the following:
'Much respected Aleksey Alekse
evitch I am the unhappiest woman
in the world to-day. I confess I was
not blind to the nature of your feel
ings toward me, but was too much of
oman and au egoist to forego the
pleasure of your very flattering kind
ness to me. Forgive me, I pray you,
dear Aleksey Alekseevitch; but my
answer must be of a negative charac
ter. I have been crying like a baby
since last night for having led you
into a false position. Do forgive me.
Your sincere friend,
"Maria Roobhetzka."
Do you forgive me? I beg you
again and again."
Smirnoff had had too many suc
cesses and failures in life to let this
defeat hurt his pride deeply. But he
was overcome with a poignant sense
of loneliness, coupled with a cruel
consciousness of his old age. At the
same time he sincerely regretted' the
pain he had caused tho widow, and
out of sympathy for her as well as for
the opportunity of seeing her, he
secured another interview with her,
which took place iu one of the remote
nooks of Tompkins Square.
"I wish to reassure you, Panna
Roushetzka," he said, gravely, "and
to restore peace to your mind. I love
you, and your letter leaves me
more wretched and desolate than I
ever felt before, but believe me your
happiness is dearer to me than my
own, and since you find that it would
be disturbed by your marrying me I
am resigned to my fate."
The pauna was overjoyed and
thanked him heartily for this friend
ship, and yet his ready surrender, the
ease with which he was getting recon
ciled to her refusal nettled her.
However, he did not seem as light
hearted as he was affecting to be, and
the perception of it was a source of
mixed exultation and commiseration
to her. He was uncommonly effusive
aud sentimental, and as if by way of
bidding her melancholy farewell he
launched out, describing his past, she
listening to his disconsolate accents
with heart-wringing iuterest.
"I know it is foolish for me to ob
trude my personal remiuiscenoes upon
you. Why should you be bored with
I the humdrum details of the life of a
man who is a perfect stranger to yon.
Yet I cannot help speaking of it at
this minute. I feel sheepish, like a
schoolboy, but it somehow relieves my
overburdened heart. You will excuse
e."
She was burning to offer some word
of encouragement, to assure him of
her profound respect and friendship,
and of her interest in everything he
had to say, but her tongue seemed
grown fast to her palate and she could
not utter a syllable.
"It was many years ago that I was
torn from my dear native soil and
from a splendid career," he prooeeded,
egged on by the very taciturnity of
his interlocutor. "I was a young fel
low and an officer is the army then,
with a most promising future before
me. It was during the Polish insur
rection of the early sixties. My regi-
ment was stationed at the Government
city of N."
The panua gave a start, and a volley
of questions trembled on the tip of her
tongne, but she somehow could not
bring herself to interrupt him.
I had been recently graduated
from the military school, and that was
my first commission, he wenton. I
had many friends in the regiment,
and among them a young Polish offi
cer named Staukevitch."
Panna Roushetzka remained petri
fied. After a while she made out to
inquire: "Staukevitch, did you say?"
"Why. hove vnu -heard of him or
some of his family?" Smirnoff asked,
eagerly.
"No, I am simply interested in
what you aro relating. Proceed
please."
"Well, he was the most delightful
fellow in the whole lot of us, but he
did not know bow to take care of him
self, and paid his life for it, poor boy.
His heart was with the insurgents,
and I know it and begged him to be
guarded, but he was too much of a
patriot to allow the instinct of self-
preservation to get the better of bis
revolutionaay sympathies. One day
when tho Cospacks had looted the
house of a Polish nobleman and taken
the owner and his family prisoners,
my friend gave loud utterances to his
overbrimming feelings in the Officer's
Club, curshiR the Government and
vowing vengeance.
"You must have heard how strict
things were in those days. The oity
of N was in a state of siege, mar
tial law prevailed, and the most peace
ful citizens were afraid of their own
shadows. Well, poor dear Staukevitch
was court-martialled and senteuced to
bo Bhot within twenty-four hours by a
line of soldiers from the very company
of which be bad been m command
And who was to take charge of the
shooting and utter the fatal word to
the soldiers but I, bis best friend, who
was ready to die for him.
Smirnoff said it with a grim sort of
composure, and then broke off abruptly
and fell into a muse.
"Well?" the widow demanded, iu
strange voice, which he mistook for
mere mark of interest iu a thrilling
story.
"Well," he resumed, "I did not, of
course, utter the terrible word, but at
the very moment I was to do so I fell
on the ground in a feigned swoon. My
place was instantly taken by another
officer and I was since theu branded
as a coward, and had no choice but to
resign my commission and to become
the rolling stone tbat I have been ever
since."
He went on narrating some of bis
subsequent experiences in foreign
countries, but the widow did not hear
him. All at once she interrupted
him.
Don't tell mo about that, pray
Better tell me more about that friend
of yours Staukevitch," and, succumb
lng to an overflow of emotions, sue
burst out, sobbingly: "I know you
I have your photograph, Staukevitch
was my father!"
"Ma-ma-marusia! Is that you?'
the old man shrieked, jumping to his
feet and seizing her by both hands,
"Dear little Marusia! Why, when
you were a morsel of a thing I used to
play with you.
"I know," she rejoined, "and now
that you say it I can recognize your
face by the faded old portrait I have
in my album. You were photographed
together with mv unnapiiv papa.
Mamma left me the picture. I did
not remember your name, but I heard
the, story from mother when I was
child, aud siuce theu I have held the
portrait dear for your sake as well as
papa's. Of course it never occurred
to me that it was you, but now the
identity of it is as clear as day to me.
She iuvited him to ber lodgings,
where she introduced him to her land
lady as the best friend of her dead
father. They had a long aud hearty
talk over the portrait and about the
persons aud tilings it brought to the
old man's mind. Aud on the follow
ing evening, when he came to the
Frenoh restaurant for his supper, he
found there a letter which read as fot
lows:
"Dear Aleksey Alexseevitoh It was
not yourself, but an utter stranger,
that I refused the other day. I have
loved you my whole life without know
ing you. The handsome officer who
ruined himself for my poor father has
always been my ideal of a husband,
and, will you believe it, 1 never gave
up a vague sort of hope that he would
be mine, lour loving
"Maki'hia.
New York Post,
A ICeiuiti'kable Menu.
After partukiug of ginger beer, ap
pies, nuts, chocolate, three bottle of
ginger ale, and some sherbet aud
water at a picnic, aud theu putting
away his regular tea at home, a nine-year-old
London boy complained of a
pain in his inside. The Coroner next
day called it gustro-euteritis.
It has been reported that Moham
medans will build a mosque in bt.
Louis.
THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE.
STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY THE
FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS.
A Fallow Field A Hrlef Sle.ta Stork Hi.
rliange Definition The rrortunt Meg
ger A Thrilling- Moment A Bronclshle
Ula.ee Insult to Injury, Etc. Fte.
"Let me collect my thoughts," said he,
Then came a little lull;
"Alas, I am afraid," said she,
"l'ou find collections dull."
Cleveland Plain Dealer, .
block Exchange lleflnMlnn.
"What do yon understand that 'put
ting np margins' mean?"
"Losing by degrees." Chicago
rost.
A Ft-lef NiestA.
First Wanderer "Been settin' here
long?"
Second Wanderer "Naw, not very;
couple o' days er bo." Truth.
Insult to Injury.
He "Yes, I loved a girl once, and
she made a fool of me."
She "Some girls do make a lasting
impression, don't they?" Judge,
The Trudent lteggnr.
"What? you ask me for bread, and
you are drunk!"
"And surely you" would not ask a
poor man to beg all day on an empty
stomach?
A Thrilling Moment.
First Tom Cat "How did yon feel
when the brick struck yon?"
Second Tom Cat "Sny! My past
eight lives rose up before me in a seo
ond!" Puck.
A llroatfsifle.
Mabel "Yon should see the French
Conut who is dancing attendance upon
me."
Susie "Ah, a French dancing mas
ter, dear?" Philadelphia North Amer
ican. Iteassuring.
Poetess "That poem I sent you,
Mr. Editor, contains the deepest secrets
of my soul."
Editor "I know it, madam; and
nobody shall ever find them out
through mo!"
Itlasee.
"Now I'm going to read you a pret
ty story, dear all about tho Garden
of Eden."
"Oh, mummy, pi jose, not that one.
I'm so tirod of that story of the Ad
amses!" Punch.
Hhe loe Not Exist.
Little Clarence "Pa, do yon sup
pose a bashful woman suffers as much
as a bashful man?"
Mr. Callipers "That is not a fair
questipn, my son; there are no bash
ful women." Puck.
Not That Sort or Hooks.
"Do yon find sermons in stones aud
book's iu the running brooks?" asked
the romantio maiden.
"I never find pocketbooks in them,"
replied the matter-of-fact young man,
Detroit Free Press.
One Tiling Wanting.
Artist (to Mr. Henpeck) "Now,
don't you think this is a speaking like
ness of your wife?"
Mr. Henpeck "Well, whou my
wife speaks sho always shakes her fist
at me." London Fun.
He Was Cruel.
Mrs. Nubbous "My husband is a
perfect brute."
Friend "You amaze me."
Mrs. Nubbons "Since the baby be
gan teething, nothiug would quiet the
little angel but pulling his papa's
beard, aud yesterday he went and had
his beard shaved off." Tit-Bits.
A Puzzle.
Willie Addlepate "There is one
thiug I cawn't understand, douchor
no!" Cbollie Noddlekins "What's that?"
Willie Addlepate "Why, when we
stop to oonsideh aw how uncom
fortable it is iu a crowd why, aw I
cawn't see why it is that there are al
ways more people iu a crowd than
there are where there are no crowd."
-Puck.
(letting lteady.
Mr. Wiggles "I ordered two din
ner sets sent home to-duy, Maria."
Mrs. Wiggles "Two dinner sets!
Why, Joshua Wiggles, are you cruz i
What iu the world do you want of t it o
more dinuer sets?"
Mr. Wiggles "Why, didn't you toll
me you were going away next week to
be gone a month? I want to have
dishes enough iu the house so that I
won't have to wash any while you are
away." Somerville Journal.
CircaMt Depth of the Ocean.
The deepest verified souudings are
those made in the Atlantic Oceau,
ninety miles off the Isluud of St.
Thomas, in the West Indies, 518 75
fathoms, or 23,250 feet. Deeper
water has been reported south of the
Grand Bank of Newfoundland, over
27,000 feet in depth, but additional
soundings iu that locality did not cor
roborate this. Some years ago it was
claimed that very deep soundings,
from 45,000 to 4S.0OO feet, bad been
found off the coast oil' South America,
but this report was altogether dis
credited ou additional investigation iu
these localities. The ship ('hultciiger,
which iu 1H72-74 made a voyuge
round the globe for the express pur
pose of takiug deep-sea soundings iu
ull tho oceans, found the greatest
depth touched iu the Pacific Oceuti less
than 3000 futhoniH, und the lowest in
the Atlantic, 3875 fathoms, as given
above.
filasa Iu Aucleiit Egypt.
The oldest specimen of pure glass
beuring a date is the head of a lion iu
collection at the British Museum
It bears the name of an Egyptian king
of the eleventh dynasty.
SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL.
A drawing of the bison has been
discovered in the rocks of tho La
Mouthe cave in Dordogue, France.
In a recent work on the birds of
Colorado, W. W. Cooke brings up the
number of species and sub-species
found iu that State to 363.
At the grape-cure establishments in
Switzerlnud, France, aud Austria,
patients are usunlly turned loose in the
vineyards and allowed to gorge them
selves at pleasure.
With tho exception of birds, men's
legs are longer iu proportion to theii
body than those of any other auimal.
The human foot is broader and stronget
thau the foot of any other animal, so
that man alone cau stand upon one
foot.
The relation of dust aud typhoid
fever has been investigated by Drs,
Kelsch and Simonin, of Paris. They
have reported to the Paris Academy of
Medicine that in tho summer of 1890
there, were eighteen cases of typhoid
fever iu a small barracks.
Tho tint of birds' eggs, especially
the light colors, are apt to fade, on
exposure in museums to too great
sunlight. This is tho caso with the
greenish bluo eggs, as those of the
raurro. By experiment the darker
colored eggs of olive brown or choco
late hue have been fonud to nudergo
little change.
An inventor has hit upon a method
of putting stone soles on boots ond
shoes. Ho mixes a waterproof glue
with a suitable quantity of clean quartz
sand, aud spreads it over the leather
solo used as foundation. These quartz
soles are said to be very flexible and
practically indestructible, and to give
the foot a warm hold even on the most
slippery surface.
There are fully 12,000 hides tanned
weekly in Newark, N. J. About half
of these become shoe lipping aud vamp
leather, the remainder carriage, dash,
furniture and fancy leather. More
horse bides are tunned thau iu any
other plaoe in this country. Cor
dovan vamps are tho product. Chrome
tanned sole for bicycle shoes is made
and the manufacture of kangaroo aud
kangaroo kid is an important interest.
All kinds of bag and book leather are
produced.
Tho great vitality of dragon-flies is
shown by McLachland, who having
struck at a large iKsehna at rest on a
twig, the head was seen to tumble
down, while the rest of the insect flew
away iu an "undecided manner" for a
considerable distance. Upon picking
up the head he noticed that the insect
bad been eating a fly at the time.
"The mandibles continued working as
if nothing had happened, and the
masticated portious of the fly passed
out at the back of the head."
Mustnrd n an Aullseptlv,
Dr. Roswell Park writes to the
Buffalo Medical Journal commending
mustard as an antiseptic. He says:
"One never goes into a house, or at
least a looality, iu which mustard can
not easily be procured, and my cus
tom is thoroughly to rub aud scrub
my hands with a mixture of green or
other soap, cornmeal and mustard
flour, for about five minutes. After
rubbing thoroughly into all the cre
vices and creases of the bauds and
nails by aid of a nail brush, one may
be absolutely certain that his hands
are sterilized, no matter what he may
have been doing previously. I have
no hesitation in proceeding from an
autopsy to tho operatiDg room if I may
thus protect my hands. Used as in
dicated, the mustard leaves no un
pleasaut sensation; and oue may feel
that by the time it produces uupleas
ut tingling or rubefactiou of the skin
its essential oil has done its desired
work as an antiseptic. I have dis
carded all other means of preparing
the hands, and iu several years ase
of mustard iu this way havo never
beeu disappointed or had the slight
sat reason to question its effective
ness. I might udd also that it is an
Admirable deodorizing agent, aud will
take awny from the bands all offensive
odor of dead or dying tissues and all
redolence of iodoform."
World's Largest Orchard.
The largest fruit plantations in the
world are iu Jatnuicu. They are owned
and operated by an American com
pauy, the area of whose fruit farm is
44,000 acres. They own 2r!,000 acres,
and the other 1(3,000 acres are held by
them under lease. Their principal
crops are bauatias aud cocoantits, aud
last year they shipped 3,000,000
bunches of bananas aud 5,000,000
socoanuts, besides other fruits to
America aud elsewhere, employing
twelve steamers belonging to the com
pany. Near Olden, ou the Ozark
mountains, in southern Missouri, there
is ono of the largest aud finest fruit
farms iu the world. It consist of
2200 acres of laud, owned by a syndi
cate formed of the members of the
Missouri Horticultural Society, and
ou which are planted til,0im peach,
23,000 apple and 21100 peur trees,
with forty acres in small fruits. There
is au orchard at Uttrhura, in C iuifor
belonging to El wood Cooper, wht
has an area of 1700 acres, and en
tains 10,000 olive trees, 3000 English
walnut trees, 4500 Japanese persiui
inon trees, 10,000 almond trees aud
about 4000 other nut and various
fruit trees. Buffalo Times.
(las Kri;ht as the un.
Consul DuesteratCrefoid, Germany,
reports to the State Department a dis
covery made there which, is said, will
revolutionize the methods of illumina
tion. It is au incandescent gus. A
single jet of ordiuury size cau emit a
light of much more than 1000 caudle
power, und tine print cau be reud at a
distance of 100 feet. Tho inventor
kiiys the cost for a light of 1500 candle
power is only 4 J cents per hour, while
that of au ordinary electric light ot
i'l'J caudle-power i fourteen cents per
hour.
THE tauiET HOUSE.
Oh, mothers, Worn and weary
With cares tbat never cease,
With never time for pleasure,
With days that have no peace.
With little hands to hinder,
And feeble steps to guard,
With tasks that lie unfinished,
Ieem not yonr lot too bard.
I know a bouse where plnythlngs
Are hidden out of sight;
Vo sound of childish footsteps
Is heard from morn till night!
No tiny hands to Utter,
That pnll things all awry;
No bnhy hurts to pity
As the quiet days go by.
And she, the sad-eyed mother
What would she give to-day
To feci yonr cares ond burdens,
To walk your weary way?
Ah! happy sho, yea blessed.
Could she again but sen
The rooms all strewn with playthings
And the children round her kneel
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Awkward Miss (withau umbrella)
"Bog pardon!" Polite Gentleman
"Dou't mention it; I have another
eye left." New York Weekly.
"Why do women always grab np
every little baby thry see and kiss it?"
"Because little babies, yon know, are
helpless. " Cleveland Leader.
Yobsley "Think yon'll get a chain
less wheel?" Mndge "If I do, 1
will be at the cost of wearing a watch
less chain." Indianapolis Journal.
"Wcylor seems to retain his mili
tary tastes." "What do you mean?"
"This paper says that hp desires noth
ing more than a quiet retreat."
Puck.
Jenkins "I wonder how it happens
that Miss Kidd is always out when I
call?" Jones "Oh! just ber Inck, I
guess," Browning, King & Co.'s
Monthly.
"Ma, is there any pie left in the
pautry?" "There is ono pieco, but
you can't have it." "You are mis
taken, ma, I've hud it," Clovcland
Plain Dealer.
"Miss Tucker wouldn't have me,
but sho evidently appreciated iny pro
posal." "Why do you tuiuk so?"
"She told fifteen different girls about
it." Chicago Record,
Teacher "Tommy, what do you
know of the sphinx?" Tommy "The
sphinx is a woman with a great head.
Sho hasn't talked for three thousand
years." Chicago Tribune.
Wickwire "Really, now, you don't
believe the poor nre growing poorer?"
Mudge "I know they are. Look at
me. I havcu't half the money I had
on poy day." Indianapolis Journal.
"They say Dnmloy's wife rules him
with a rod of iron.' "Oh, no; that's
an exaggeration. Why, she cau make
him jump by merely crooking her lit
tle finger at him." Household
Words.
"I hear that the crowd booted you
when yon appeared at the Pedliugtou
Theatre Royal." "False, mo boy,
false," repliod the eminent tragedian.
"All false. There was no crowd."
Household Words.
"Gentlemen of the jury," said the
lawyer, impressively; "our defense is
insanity. I i-hall now show that my
client once served on a jury and list
ened to expert testimony for four
months." Puck.
Emperor William "What is the
latest from HaytiV" Tho Imperial
Aid "The Haytiauii have submitted,
sire." Emperor William "Nothet
victory for me and Providence." In
dianapolis Journal.
"Now," Buid Mr. Gragau, as he
read the headlines, "how could there
ho a double murder? Oh, I see," hj
continued, after reading a little.
"Sure I fought tha man was kilt
twice." Indianapolis Journal.
Mrs. Skinner (talking about tho
took market) "I toll you what, Mr.
Starboarder, there's nothiug H like
leather." Mr. Starboarder (vainly
sawing) "Oh, yes, there ia this
steak, for instance." Tit-Bits.
"Honest?" heexcluimod. "HouestJ
Weil, rather. He not only wouldn't
steal from au individual, but he actu
ally refused to steal from the Govern
ment once when he had the oppor
tunity." -Chicago Eveuing Post.
A prudent man had his portrait
painted receutly. His friends com
plained to him that it was much too
old. "That's what I ordered," said
he. "It will save tho expense of au
other one ten years from now." Tit
Bits. A schoolboy was asked to explain
the formation of dew. His answer
was: "The earth revolves on au axis
every twenty-four hours, und in con
sequence of the tremendous pace at
whioh it travels it perspires freely."
Tit-Bits.
. The speaker ha 1 done with telliug
of the wrongs of woman, aud had
sunk back into her seat. "She makes
a mountain out of a mole-hill," whis
pered the persouly person in the
front pew. "Yes, and such a botch,
too!" rejoined the othor. Detroit
Journal.
"There is ono point about your
friend Boswell, Johnson," said Na
poleon. "He's simply doted on you."
nay, rather, retorted Jouusou,
that he aueo-doted on me. He re-
uded me somewhat of ou iu your
inie, Bonupurtc. llo was a Para
site." Harper's Bazar.
"An author," said the practical lit
torateur, "ought to know several lan
guages." "Of course he ought," re
plied his fellow cruft.-imau. "Thj
field bus been so well worked that t lici t!
is uo longer any usj of reading old
English books in search of original
ideas. " Washington Star.
Little three-year-old StinnyloeUs
had boon told that he couldn't huve a
doughnut, because it would make him
tick. He sut iu high-chuir und looked
lougiugly ut the plateful of sugar-coat-ed
"holes with cake around them."
At lust he turned, and, iu pleading
tones, Biiid: "Mamma, want to del
sick!" Cleveland Leader.