Tiie Forest Hcpnblicin U published every Wmlu lay, by J. E. WNK. Office In SineaibauRh & Co.'i Euilt'lng KLM STREET, TIOSE3TA, PA. T"'",, Wl.oo lOP v.ir. RATES Or ADVERTISINQi OREST R On Square, on Inch, on. inrtlm..l 1 00 On. rquare, one inch, on month. BUI One Square, one inch, titree months. . ft I K On. .-'quare, on. inolx, one year..... 10 (M l wo Hqunre, one year 1511 Vunrter Column, on year ft' Half Column, one yenr.. M (W On. (.'olumrt, on. year IU0 00 Lepal advertiavineute too cenU par line each iimerlion. Marriage, an I ileith notice. grntf'. All bills tor year. y adven ise;n nt.i collected quarterly Temporary advertisement, must be atd in advanc. Job work cash on deliver". ICAN. H n.H?.U.b".l,tl"n' r'"'uJ 'or a shorter period limn tiireo irwntii. Correspondence soli.iii a I from all prtt ol th country. No m.lo will be taken ol nnonymoui ooji nuuio u. tin. VOL. XXX. NO. 21. TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 8, 1807. S1.00 PEll ANNUM. EPUBL Alaska mny bo known iu future as Unolo Saru's Yellow KiJ. Great Britain's yearly expenses are now about JoOO.OOO.OOO, but the sur lua is 20,000,000. Tho tax department records of New York City bear the titles of over 102, 000 pieces of real estate, held by about 00,000 owners. An eighteenth century plow was dug up iu an Eastern State the other day. The farmers stood around it iu won der p.nd agreed that the world is grow ing smarter if not bettor. Robert 1 Porter estimates that by the year 2000 the population of tlii country will amount to 38j,8G0,000. Those who think tho country is al ready overpopulatod with 75,000,000 may derive some comfort from the reflection that they will all bo dead by thut time. - . i It is a fine thing, no doubt, muses the Providenco (It. I.) Journal, to be oblo to dig $50 a day out of the ground, as it is said to bo possiblo to do at Klondike. But there are some disad vantages when this opportunity is ac complished by tho necessity of eating (I03 meat at a pound. Tho Hartford Times says that a num. bor of Yale undergraduates who are "working their way" through college havo remuiuod in New Haven since com men coin en t. Seven of them have found places on tho electric car Pines, either as motoruion or conductors. They have comparatively easy und regular employment, satisfactory pay, and the places are, so far as tho hot weather is concerned, as comfortablo as any other employment that could be found. A most extraordinary question is asked of Bishop Potter, by the Hod Hoistiug Engineers' Union, states the New York Independent. It is whether, if a church or cathedral be built by non-union men, it should be attended by union worshipers? Tho point of the question is in the fact that non union workmen are employed in build ing the Protestant Episcopal Cathedral , in Now York City. Tho Hurtford (Conn.) Times re marks: So long as the retail prico of tho bieyclo remuiued at a figure which made it possible for any mechanic with a bench ami a bag of tools to buy tho different parts of a machine, put thorn together, uud sell tho finished product at a good profit, the multipli cation of smull bicycle fuctories was bound to continue. Now the time has come for them to quit. The bicycle business is likely to follow tho sume course as the Hewing machine busi ness. According to tho Springfield He publican circulars have been sent out by some bureau of statistics to the Nebraska farmers asking "Does funn ing pay?" As well ask "Is life worth living?" Tho actress Jauuuschek once opeued her season in Rochester, N. Y. , uud on interviewer asked her why she had thus complimented Rochester ruther than some other city. "Moiu Gott!" answered Janauschek, "I haf to begin Homovare." So men have to live, und the farmers have to farm whether it pays or not. Iu thai as in all other undertakings it all de pend on the individual uud his meth ods. A new scheme looking to the adop. tion of uu international luuguago comes from Russia. The inventor of "Es peruuto," a munufucturod speech, an alogous to'Vwlupuk'L. Suuieuhuf, of Grodno, invites all who have ideas on the subject to send him an article em bodying them. He will have these printed and copies sent to each of the writers. Tho latter must read ull the articles and then write another very brief essay embodying his final judg ment. The scheme would be a prac tical demonstration of the necessity of un international luuguago, but we doubt whether it will settle the ques tion of the choice of such a common speech. Tho discovery of gold in Alaska opens up a rich field for the swindlers and already sigus are at haud, notes the Washington Star, that the confi dence men of ull stripes ure ut work utilizing this lutest inspiration to the acquisitiveness of the human race. It is going to be u hurd experience for the miners themselves, if but hulf the warnings that have been given of dun gers iu the Yukon region ure well fouude.l, but uuless tho stay-ut-hoines keep a pretty sharp eye on the inuiu chance uud refruiu from long-distance Mpeciiluliou iu the gold fields except upon first-class authority there will bo equivalent distress at this distance from the cold uud tho hunger of the Aluskau wustos. "JEST MAKE YERCRUEL THINNER." Tn these 'ore times It takes a lot to satisfy a fellow l'hllosnrpliy to linnlen hlin, somn poetry to mellow. Without Incoiirngoinent and aoeh lie cannot be contented, Kf living In liis own Rood house er Jest In ono that's rented. The blues will como n. unbeknown as persons out n-blkin'. An all yer ense nnd soeinlncss they seem well, irono n-strtktn. An' so it's well to cnll to mtnd what Franklin said at dinner When pressed for higher board one day "Jest make yer gruel thinner!" It show'd a strenk that's well to lmvo the streak, determination, To hump along the best yer can, though facing of starvation. F.f honesty requires less grub, why, make the grub bill shorter; Kf coarse clothes keep yer credit up, then wear 'om.'nsyer orter. Fer bigger folks than us have done some close ecoiieriiilsln', An' proved It did not keep thnm down who had a will fer risin', Ho now an' then let's call to mind what Franklin said at dinner, In answer to his hostess' greed "Jest make yer gruel thiunerl" Will T. Hale, in Nashville American. Plaintiff and Defendant. 1 By HELEN FORREST GRAVES. 'HY they called it "The Tower" would have puz zled an urchaiol gist. For it was not a tower, never had been a tower, and in all proba bility never had a tower. It was a cottage, one-storied, strag gling and comfortable, with a semi circular parlor in tho front, which, topped off with a comical imitation of wooden battlements, was half covered with waving sprays of woodbine and clinging sheets of ivy. But "Tho Tower" it had always been entitled, and after that lawsuit came up it acquired a Bort of celebrity under tho old, familiar namo. "Yes," said Miss Isidora Ives, "The Tower is mine still, and I iu toud to keep it. Everything else they have takeu away from me, because Bomo loggorheaded old ancestor of mine signed his namo to a deed 'John B. Robinson' iustead of 'John C. Rob inson.' As if one letter of the alpha bet could make any difference! I've no patience with people! The majesty of the law, indeed! Pshaw!" "But if the rest of the property be longs to your Cousin Robinson, so does The Tower," suggested Mrs. Mil roy. "Icau'thelp that," said Miss Isi dora: "Hero I am and hero I mean to stay, law or no law." Mrs. Milroy opened Uer weak eyes. Feeble as a kitten herself, sho could scarcely comprehend such vuliant res olution iu another. "But if they come hero with the sheriff, and a posse comitatus, nnd a writ of habeas corpus?" sho faltered. 'Then," said Miss Isidora, "they'll have to clear out again. Common sense is common sense. The house is mine, and I mean to keep it. I'vo got now bolts and burs to ull the doors, aud I keep a kettle of boiling water on the stove night uud duy, und my friend, Mr. Jell'reys, who is a clerk in a luw office, hus given me the hint never to let in a man with a bug." "Why not?" breuthlessly questioned Mrs. Milroy. "Don't you see?" said Miss Isidora, snapishly. "Because it will bo full of law papers. Writs aud summonses, uud ull that sort of thing." "Oh!" said Mrs. Milroy. Thus, acting upon the hint, Miss Isidora turned tho plumber's man away, und resolutely declined to have anything to say to the book-agent und the tract-distributor. She considered herself iu a state of siege, took her morning's milk into the window with a tin pail and a chain, communicated with tho trades'-people from behind two square inches of doorway, und took everybody she did not know for au enemy. The Tower was herB, uud The Tower she meant to keep. Aud Rebecca, her little maid, was stricken with breathless admiration for her warlike qualities. "But, of course, ma'uui," said Re becca, "nobody can stund against the law." "I'll see whether they cau or not!" said Miss Isidora Ives. "Bo sure you keep the kettles well filled, Rebecca, aud don't let tho fires go out, duy or night." Aud whenever she received through the mail a letter with u legal uppeur ance, or au envelope crested with the firm uddress of Messrs. Tupo & String ham, her Cousin Robinson's lawyers, she iuvariubly poked it between the bars of the grate, aud smiled vindic tively to see it blaze. "What are we to do with such a case as this?" suid Mr. Tape, when he heurd ull this. "Put in u sheriff's officer at onco," suid Stringhum. "The woman is a trespasser, uud has been all. her life." "No, no, no!" said Mr. Tape, bluud ly. "She's a woman. No harsh meas ures. It is Gideon Robinson's express injunction that all courtesy be shown to the defendant. We'll try something else before we proceed to extremities." Aud oue pleasant October afternoon, when the uir was all blue mist, and the setting sun shone us if through a medium of opaque gold, the landlord of the Topludy Arms came pulling up tho hill with a stout, pleasant-faced gentleman, uud rung the bell, which echoed like u double chime through the tiny tower. "Go away!" said Miss Isidora, from the window, spying the tops of two hats. "Oh, my, ma'am!" squeaked Re beeeu over her shoulder, shall I get the gun?" "I beg pardon, ma'am," said the stranger, "but " "Go uway, I say!" sternly repeated Miss Isidora Ives. "Rebecca, bring in that kettle! I'll have you to under stand thut I am not to be trilled with." But by this time mine host of the Toplady Arms had simultaneously re- covered his breath aud his presence of mind. "Miss Ives," ho puffed, stortorously, dou't be fiustratcd! It's only Israel Jenkins. "Bless tho man's heart!" said Miss Isidora, "why didn't ho say so before? And what on earth do you want here, Jenkins? "It'B a lodger, Miss Ives," said Jen kins, who had married Miss Isidora's old nurse, and somehow felt himself to be connected with tho family. "A lodger?" repeated Miss Ives. mis lsu t a lodging-nouse, man olive!" "Yes'm I'm quito aware of that," said Israel, meekly. "And whero no offense is intended, it's hoped as none will be took. But, knowing as you wus alone and unprotected "I don't know what you call unpro tectod," brusquely interrupted Miss Ives. "I vo got a loaded gun and six-gallon kettle of boiling water hero." "Aud, mildly went on Israel Jen kins, "this 'ere gentleman, a Mr. Mar shall, of Alabama, wanted a pleasant lodging in tho neighborhood, which meals could be took at the Toplady Arm though our apartments is all oc cupied wtth the gentry as come to fish and shoot, through October and No vember and it might be a consolation to you, Miss Ives, to have a gentleman about the premises; and I could par ticulur recommend him as very quiet aud decent. "Good gracious!" said Miss Isidora, "Why dou't the man speak up for himself ? Is he deaf uud dumb?" "It wonld lio a great kindness, ma am," said Mr. Marshall, of Ala bama, nt this direct nppeul. Miss IveB hesitated. "Well," she said at last, "I don't know thut I'vo auy objections. Re bocca, unbolt aud unchain the door!' And so Tho Tower garrison wai strengthened by an addition of one. Of course, Miss Isidora Ives told Mr. Marshall tho whole story before he had dwelt twenty-four hours bo hind the queer little wooden battle ments of The Tower. Mr. Marshall listened quietly. "Isn't it a clear case of swindling and extortion.' she demanded, ex citedly, with her short curls (parted on oue side, like anion s) all rumpled. her cheeks reddened, her plump little list unconsciously doublod. "I should think bo," said Mr. Mar shall. "Would you submit to it?" she asked. "No, I wouldn't," said Mr. Mar shall. "And all becauso my great-grand father's name was writteu John B., in stead of John C, iu the deed," per sisted Miss Isidora. "Why, any schoolboy would be ashamed to avail himself of any equivocation like that!" Mr. Marshall proved himself a quiet and peaceable member of tho little household. He liked dogs, aud al lowed Miss Ives' King Charles spaniel to sleep, undisturbed, amid the papers on his table. Ho was partial to birds, aud en tered, ut once, into the most friendly of alliances w ith the parrot and the macaw. He grafted Miss Isidora's orange troe for her, and showed her a new way to train her wax plants. Aud at the end of four weeks Miss Isidora put into execution a plan which she had long beeu forming. "Mr. Marshall," suid Bhe, "it's a great deul of trouble for you to go three times u duy tramping down thut long hill to the Topludy Arms and buck again. You ure no longer a strunger to us here. We huve learned to respect and trust you. If you choose to take your meals with us here, I shall be quito willing to admit you to my frugal table, as a friend. " Mr. Marshall's couuteuuuee chuuged oddly. Ho uiude a curious sound in his throut as if he were swallowing something. "Miss Isidora," he said, "I can't." "Ouu't!" repeated the ludy. "Nothing could induce me to eat suit under this roof," suid Mr. Mar shall, incoherently. "Bless uud save us! Is the man mad?" cried Miss Isidora Ives. "I am, socially speukiug, a fraud," suid the stranger "a forgery." Miss Ives sut down ou the sofa iu a helpless way aud stared at him. "But your sweet graciousness and kindness have conquered me," added Mr. Marshall. "Whut do you mean?" said Miss Ives. "Just this," said the stranger, "I am hero on false pretenses. I am your cousin, the plaintiff. My name isn't Marshall, but Gideon Murshull Robinson." "Mu'um," whispered the . heartless muid, who turned absolutely green ou hearing the name of the family enemy, "shall I briug the kettle of loiliutr water?" "Rebecca," said Miss Ives, "hold your tongue and go ont and feed the young turkeys. I am fully compe tent to manage this matter myself. And Rebecca, feeling herself put down, departed. I camo here, went on Mr. Rob inson, "to look into the facts of the coso for myself. I have heard of your preptdices against mo Yes, I think so, interposed Miss Ives. "And I do not blame you for them," said Mr. Robinson. "Now thnt I am personally acquainted with you, Miss Ives, nothing could induce iu3 to prosecute this " "Iniquitous claim!" interposed Isi dora. "Iniquitous claim!" acceded Mr. Robinson, with a repetition of the swallowing sound. "Just what you please to call it. I respect you as a lady, but I appreciate you as a rela tive; but, of course, knowing who I am, you cannot tolerate me any longer aa yonr friend. I will pack my bag and depart at once. I can only feel regretful that I have deceived you so long. I feel myself to be a hypocrite and a swindler!" "Zt. He waited meekly to receive the full tide of Miss Isidora's curbed wrath. She put out her plump little hand, with four dimples in the four joints. "Don't go!" she said, in a low voice. "What!" cried the incredulous plain tiff. "There's no reason why we should n't be friends," Baid Miss Ives, in her odd, brusk way. "Things seem bo very different, now that we are acquainted with each other. Couldn't we oompromise?" "Isidora," said Mr. Robinson, "we're cousins, you know, twice re moved. I may call you Isidora?" "Oh, certainly!" said Miss Ives. "We are the two last seeming heirs." "Plaintiff and defendant," nodded Isidora. "Exactly so. Now it has just occurred to me I mean, I've beeu thinking of it for some time that if we were to unite our claims " "To get married, do you mean?" said Tsidora, bluntly. "Yes, precisely. It would put an end to all litigation," pleadod Mar shall Robinson. "So it would," observed Miss Isi dora, thoughtfully. "Would you be willing to marry me?" said Mr. Gideon Marshall Robin son. "Y-yes!" said Isidora. "I think I should. I'm not young; but then six-aud-thirty is not absolutely old." "You are a rose in full bloom," said Mr. Robinson, enthusiastically, "and I myself am not a mere boy, it must be remembered." "Aud if people should laugh at us?" "Why, we'll let 'em laugh," said Isidora. "And we'll laugh, too," said tho middle-aged lover, cheerfully. The tire was allowed to go dowu, the kettle cover taken off, the charges drawn from the gun, oud Tho Tower pronounced to be no longer in a state of Biego. And this was the way iu which the famous case of Robinson vs. Ives, which had promised to swell the fees of lawyers innumerable for tho next ten years, was removed from the court of records. Aud no oue was Borry except the legal geutlemeu afore said. Sulurday Night. Caged UlrtU Like Chick Weed. "It is a kindness, as well as a pleas ure, to caged birds to feed them pep per grass and chick weed occasional ly," said a bird dealer to a Star re porter. "It is something they need, as it rests them up from the various seeds which are fed them. Canaries are specially fond of pepper grass, and it does then good. There is no difficulty in finding it in the lawns or iu auy of the parks, aud no objection is ever made to any one pulling a few branches. Chick weed grows best in shady, protected places, and can be found iu abundance. The white clo ver is also much relished by birds, though the red clover is better, but the latter is not so plenty except in the lurger parks. The truth is, uuy kind of the grasses now, us they are iu seed, is good food for cugod birds. A bird cau be depended upon to eat no more than it should eat, for there is hardly such a thing as overfeeding them. They know their limit, aud they enjoy being kept up to it, as a change from tho usual seeds." Wash ington Slur. Crickets Now on Our lleartha. It appears that tho domestic cricket of Europe, the "cricket of tho hearth," hus beeu introduced into this country. In Minneapolis uud elsewhere they huve proved to be u great nuisance. House agents there claim thut besides being tiresome und noisy, they are very destructive, so that "a house in vaded by them could not bo rented." This cricket wus observed iu Canudu by Kulm iu 1740, uud its recent occur rence there has beeu confirmed by two well-known entomologists; and it has beeu observed iu various Eastern towns by Uhler uud others, but it bus not hitherto been common in the United States, though frequently ob served iu Cuuudu. New York Inde pendent. Tu Ireland by Tuiiut-1. It is expected t. trout a tunnel be tween Scotluud uud Ireland from the Mull of Cantire to Tor Point, iu County Antrim, a distance of only thirteen miles. A tunnel between these two points will cost about &!(), 000,01)0, with an additional 1)00, 000 for the grudings. A novel suggestion has been put forward which will abolish tunneling altogether. It is to construct a bridge enclosed iu a con tinuous cylinder sunk some fifty feet below the surface uud kept in position bv anchors aud chain" TIIE MJMIY SIDE OF LIFE. STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY THE FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. Antlrlpntlon College Cnnlblcnre III. Choice The "Hit Thar" Faculty An lie t'ndemtood It ltn.oii.M Prefer ence Too Inflammable A I'recnutlou. They say the airship's corning soon. liight welnomowlll It be. To all mankind 't will prove a boon, But specially to me, I'll only have to get on board, ('T will take me anywhere,) Merrily then I'll steer It toward My eustlo in the air. fuck. Hi. Choice. "What, iu your opinion, is the most pleasing decoration for a wheel?" "A pretty woman." Judge. The "Git Thar" Faculty. Groober "Was it Joglin's ability that got him that $5000 position?" Hoover "Yes; his ability to get it." Roxbnry Gazette. Too Inflammable. Jack "She used to be an old flame of yours, did she not?" Arthur "Yes; but that was whou I had money to burn." Puck. A. lie Understood It. The Count "I havo been invited to a tin wedding " The Bnron "Ah! The girl is being married for her money?" Puck. College Confidence. Miss Girton "Aud do you like Browning?" Oxonian "Well, to tell the truth, I'd as soon read a timo-table." Punch. A 1'rcrautlnn. "I know why tho proprietor of this hotel makes our board-bills eo high." "Why?" "So that we can't jump them." Harper's Weekly. A I'oor hpcclmcn. Friend "Does your towu boast of a baseball team?" Suburbanite "No. We used to boast of one; but wo hove to apologize for it now." Puck. An Illutratlon. Thacher "What is meant by "in consistency ?" "Pupil "That would be if a person was to ride one make of wheel this year and a different make next year." Puck. Reaaonable Preference. "I am told your wife would ruther cook than eat." Tho other man glanced nervously over his shoulder. "What she oooks, yes," he replied iu a hoarse whisper. Detroit Journal. Inured to Hardship. Wife "Here's a wouderful case of endurance. A fellow sat in the rigging of a wrecked vessel three days and didn't seem to mind it." Husband "He had probably been used to riding on au anatomical bicy cle saddle." Truth. Ea.y to Cure. The Wife "Doctor.cau you do any thing for my husbnnd?" Doctor "What bcouis to be tho matter?" The Wifo "Worrying about money." Doctor "Oh, I can relieve him of that all." Obvious. He "Where havo you been?" She "Downtown, looking over some bonnets. ' He "Looking over souio bonnets, did you Bay?" She '"i'hat'8 whut I suid." He "Then they were not thoutra bonnets?" Yonkors Stutesmuu. ilow Ho Cot Arouutl It. Chalumeuu has just returned from a fishing expedition. "Well," his friends ask him, "did you catch anything?" "I missed my twelfth fish!" answers Chalumeau, who thus spares himself the humiliation of telling that he miasod his first as well." Lo Figaro. Time Serving. Bridget hus a kitchen full of her company. Mistress (from the head of tho stairs) "Bridget!" Bridget "Yes, ina'uiu." Mistress "It's 10 o'clock." Bridget "Thunk ye, mu'am. Aud will be so koiud ez to tell me whin it's 12?" Pick-Me-Up. I'ulred Oir. Bilkins "I hope I'm not iu the w ay, Miss Tompkyns." Miss Tompkyns "Why, Mr. Bil kins, how euu you suggest such u thing! You know I believe iu eveu numbers. Polly und Churley make two; Jack and I make four; you and the dog muko six. We ure ull paired off nicely." The Yellow Kid. lie Knew III. Worth. Young Ludy You are u wonderful muster of the piano, I hear." Professor von Spicier (hired for tho occasion) "I bluy uggompauiments Zomotiiues." Young Lady "Accompaniments to singing?" Professor von Spieler "Aggom pauiments to gouveisutious." Tit Bits I'ulrue. She "Harry, you said something last evening thut uiude me feel so bud. " He "Why wus it, dearest?" She "You suid I was oue of the sweetest girls iu all tho world." He "Aud urou't you, darling?" She "You said 'one of the sweet est.' Oh, Hurry, to think I should live to know that I have to share your love with uuothur." Bostou Truu-aoript. SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL. The perspiration fromhnmnn beiugs, if injeotod into rabbits or dogs, causes death. A machine for registering the strokes made by the oarsmen in a rowboatwas recently exhibited in London. Dr. Wciuek's great photogrnphio atlas of tho moon is to bo mado ou scales of ten to thirteen fect for the moon's diameter. In tho night illumination of tho British fleet of warships assembled for the Jubilee naval review 75,000 sixteon-candlo power electric l.iinpa were employed. A goldfish will dio in ninety minutes if placed in water which contains ono per cent, of aloohol. In water which contains twenty per cent, of alcohol it will die instantly. Common salt that is used daily in our food is needed in tho body. It aids digestion nnd tho assimilation of tho food, nnd helps in the composition of many of the tissues. A prizo of $000 is offered for 1803 by L'Industrie Electriquo for tho best work done in the manufacture of per manent magnets. It is not stated whether or not the prize is open for international competition. A hospital has bcon opened in Lon don for the treatment of wounds, ulcers and kindrod ailments by oxygen gas. Tho new method of treatment was suggested by the Zulus. When they ore wounded, they climb au eminence oud exposo their wounds to the pure air of tho mountain tops. What is called Frondo's Law of In crease in the Speed of Ships assumes, as an example, that aa increase of one in a hundred, or, as we may say, about four miles a day iu tho swiftest tians Atlautio steamers, calls for two per cent, of added length, six por cent, of displacement, seven per cent, of horse power and fuel. The bayonets of marines ou board British ships-of-war having frequently become highly magnetized through proximity to dynamos, and thus af fected the ships' compasses when tho wearers passed them. Sentrios huve been ordered not to wear side-arms when on duty in the dynamo flats. This is expected to overcome the dif ficulty. A Canadian sea captain has invented an apparatus with which ho thinks whales can be killed by electric shock. A harpoon is fixed at the end of a long metallic cable, properly insulated, and which serves in place of the usual rope. Through this cable nu eloctrio current of 10,000 volts is to bo sent by means of a dynamo curried iu tho whaleboat. An electric target, the invention of two Austrian military men, is reported to have given satisfactory results in a recent test at Gratz. Tho target is of the usual form, but mado of meshes of wire tolerably close togother. It is connected with tho stand by an elec trio cable, and whon auy part of it is hit by a ball tho electric current is closed, ringing a bell, and signaling ou an indicator at the stund the por tion of tho target struck. Captain John Hinlth'. Kpltaph. In St. Scpuleher's Church, opposite Newgate Prison, London, is the burial pluco of Captain John Smith, the friend of Pocahontas, aud his epitaph, which was written by Drydeu, sounds like the trump of u inarching urmy. 11 reads thus: To the living memory of his deceased friend tlupt. JOHN 8MITII fjomctluiu (loveruor of Virginia Aud udiulral of New F.ugluud Who dep't this llto June 1031. Accor liamus Vlueero est Vivere. Hero lyos ono conquered that liatli cou- quered kyngs Nubdued largo territories and done thyugs Which to tho world impossible would seeino Itut that tho truth Is hold tu more estoemo Khali I repeat his former service, douo Iu houourof his Uud uud t'lirysteudom? Now that he did dovydo from paguus Throe Tueir heads and lyves, types of his chivalry For which great service iu that ulyuiato douo llruve Slgisiuuudiis, kiug lliingarlou liid gyve him us a coat of arms to wear Their coutucrod heads, got by his sword aud spcarc. Or shall I tell of Ids adventures since Done in Virginia that largo eoutiueiit. How that ho subdued kyngs unto bis yoke And made those heuthen tlee us wyude doth smoke, And made their land being of so largo a slutiou, An habitation for our Chrysliao nation Whero God is glurifyud, their wants sup- plyed . Which else for necessaries must have dy'd. liut what uvails his conquest now ho lyves Interrd iu earth a prey to worms and tlyos Ol may Ids soul In sweet clysium sleep Until the keeper that ull souls doth keep lt'-turus to judgment; uud that after theuco With ungcls ho may huve his recompense. Art Work ou tho Ilow. of Our Nhlp.. On all tho new vessels of tho navy tho American shield hus displaced us u figurchoud tho unique designs curried ou tho older vessels. This is curved out of solid brass, with the Stars uud Stripes und the shield proper fitted close urouud the slender bow, while scroll work extends buckwurdou either side for a distance of four or five feet. The New York, Minneapolis and Phila delphia have possibly tho most ela borate designs, some having cost SoOOO euch. Extraordinary Carucr of a Hell Hinder. Thomas Hussey, bell ringer ut the Leigh Purish Church, Lancashire, England, has completed un extraor dinary career us u ringer. He was boru iu lnl2, became a ringer whou fifteen years of age.aud rung the niourn iug peul for the burial of Georgo IV. He ulso rung for the eorouution uud funeral of Willium IV., tho accession, coronation, uud jubilee of Queen Vic toria, und recently rung for the Queen's diamond jubilee. It', a Wearing Ouiue. The London stuck brokers are suid to wear out tho floor of the Stock Ex chuuge every five years. This means tuut the floor is worn uwuy to the depth of hulf un juch. IUST DO YOUR BEST. The signs are bad whon folks commence A-flndlu' fault with Providence, And bnlkiu' 'cause t lie earth don't shake At every pranein' step they take. No man is grent till lie can see How less than little ho would be F.f stripped to self, and stark and barn, Ho huug bis slgu out anywhere. My doetern Is to lay nslde Contentions, and be satisfied; Jest do your best, and praise er blnmn Thnt rollers thnt counts Jest the same. I'vo alius noticed great success Is mixed with troubles, more or loss. And it's tho man who does the best That gits more kicks than nil the rest. James Whlteomb lilley, HUMOR OF THE DAY. lie "How would you like to be a liglit-houHe keeper?" She "Very much, name the date." Tho Ledger. Women who havo tried it say that naming a baby for tho doctor doesn't reduce tho bill any. Atchison Globe. "Whero was Magna Charta signed?" asked a teacher in the South of Lon don Board School. "Please, sir, at tho bottom." Tit-Bits. Young Lady (hurriedly) "I waut a novel something popular." Book Clerk (briskly) "Yes, Miss. What sort wicked or vapid?" Now York Week ly." Dear Old Boston Again Visitor "I hear there is sickness next door. Is it contngious?" Phillips "Oh, not us all, madam; merely contiguous." Truth. First Tramp "The lady over yonder tried to get mo to work for a cent." Second Tramp "Maybe she took you for one of those peuuy-iu-the-slot ma chines." "AVhat did yon stop that clock in your room for, Jaue?" "Because, mum, the pluguey thing has some sort of a fit every moruin', mum, jest when I wants to sleep." Tit-Bits. "Yes," romurkod a Chicago girl, "he represents oue of the oldest fami lies." "Does he date boforothe fire?" "No not quito so fur back as that. But he's one of tho pooplo who havo riddon the old-stylo high wheels." Wash ington Star. Smith "Joues has bought some sort of gymnastic apparatus, and he exer cises half au hour every night." Rob inson "Well, bo's a very persevering fellow. I suppose he'll keep ot that until a couple of week's after he's tirod of it." Puck. "I don't mind Jack's slang," said ono of tho girls. "Ho is so clever in the use of it." "Howso?" "Why, he sent mo three dozen photos of 'famous beauties,' with a card on which tho only words were: "You're another!' " Household Words. "The chief end of man seems to be to get something for nothing," Baid the young niau who was striving to con ciliate his best girl's father. "Too true," mused the old gentleman. "For instunco, you're trying to got my daughter for yourself." Detroit Free Press. "George, do you know that you come homo ut three o'clock this morn ing oud ucted dreadfully Billy?" "What did I say?" "Well, for one thing, you called mo a wingless angel." "Did I say thai?" "Yes." "I own up, my dear. I was druuk." Clovelund Pluiu Dealer. First Reformer "I'm trying to write au essay ou tho emancipation of my sex, ami I find it very hard to be giu." Second Reformer "Oh, I think that would bo so easy. Why, you might begin by sharpening your pencil with your husband's razor, you know." Detroit Journal. Phyllis accidentally discovered a doll that her mother had concealed iu a trunk iu readiness for tho little lady's birthday. ',The following day at dinner sho surprised tho family by remarking; "I'm tryiug so hurd to forget something I want to remember that I dou't feel hungry." Judge. Loud-voiced Sergeant "Now, Muo phersou you long-limbed, raw-bonod, fog-featured scarecrow, eyes right, Be smart, you dunderhead, and, if your 're not shot, you'll bo u Boldier one day, like me." Mucphersou "Like you, Sergeant! 'Deed, ye make mo long for tho risk of battle." Tit-bits. Commercial Traveler (to boy who has answered tho bell) "I waut the boots. You're not tho boots, surely?" Boy iu Buttons "No sir! I'm tho socks!" Commercial Traveler "Sock! You impudent young demon; w hat do you meuii?" Boy in Buttons "Why, you see, sir, I'm under the boots." Tit-Bits. "Yes," sho said confidentially to her dearest friend, "it's all settled. We've praoticully mado ull niraugeinents." "I suppose you will go to housekeep ing ut once." "Have you picked out a flat yet?" "Oh, dear, no; wo have attended to tho more important matter first, "she explained. "We went down town yesterday and picked out our tandoiu wheel." Chicago Evening Post. Awoke During Her Funeral. Claru Parking, u handsome young womuu of Denligh, Vu., uwoke from u trunco while her funemil service was in progress. While tho quartet was sing ing a hymn, the girl urose in her cof fin, crying out: "Am I dreaming? I'm not dead. You shall not bury me." Then sho fell back iu the coltin exhausted. Immediately there was an uproar. Women fainted, others shrieked and men uud women rushed out of the house. Several children were trampled upon uud hurt. The girl is slowly recovering. huved the ltu. Au old man, eighty-eight years of axe, standing ou tho bridge ut Strukouitz, near t'ilsoii, iu Bohemia, saw a schoolboy drow ning in tho river ut Wuttuwu. lie jumped iu, got the ... 1 I 1... 1. 1 t- ... K... .....! OOV VO 1'ltlU, lUV BOUH I'ili IV i-iiaiir.it-i nnd was being curried mi' by the cur rent when ull eighteen-vcur-old girl swam to hiiu aud saved him.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers