r w CP 1 Tiifl Fnrp.sf Rp.niihlip.m -uv V4VUI IIVUUIIUUU U pnbllsho.i every Woda- Iny, hy J. E. VVGNK. Office In Smearbaugh St Co.'i Building ELM STREET, TIONESTA, TA. 1rnis,. - gl.77 Per Voar, No subscription? received for a shorter period than throe months. Oorrepondeneo sollclte 1 frou all parts of th country. No noiloi wilt bo taken or anonymous cOiumunloatlouj. Thirty years ago Berlin was smaller than Philadelphia, and now it ill larger by baUa million. Qtieon Vivtorin is the owner of sixty JiiaDoc 11 is urged in extenuation, however, thnt she doesn't play any of thorn. Ono of the tehFntions that is deniod to the rich, declares Life, is the inde scribable thrill the poor man feels when ho buys something he can't af ford. The chief proof render of the Lon don Times is a master of seven differ- cnt language, and cu say rude things in all of thorn when tho condition of the oopy affords sufficient provoca tion. , Sir E. Watkin, the railway magnate, nys thnt tho moNt costly piooe of rail way line in tho world is that between the Mansion House and AKlgnte sta' tions in London, which requirod the expenditure of close npon $10,000,000 a mile. In France wn.qon tires vary from three to ten inches in width, usually from four to six, deponding npon the weight of tho load. "Were an'oh tires compulsory in America, the present good roads movement wonld recoivo a tremendous itnpetue," exolnims the Bciotitiiio American. . Bread riots in Madrid and o'thor Spanish cities have an ominous signifl canoe to tho Now York Mail and Ex press. They mean that too many ot Spain's breadwinners have been taken awny from the farms and eent away to fight hopeless battles in remote and rebellious colouiia. Aooordiug to tho annual report of the Civil Servioo Commission thore are cow 87,107 Federal places on the lists of the classified For vice, while of the 91,610 places s yet unclassified 6(1,725 are fourth-dans postofllces which tho commission is anxious to bring witbin the scope of its opera tions. For several years, noco'rdiog to the New York Independent. Massac linnet tu - - -I New Hampshire, Rhode Island and Connecticut hare been filling un with foreign populations, including tho Frenoh Canadians and Irish, who are Cntholics and swell the membership of that church, which now leads iu num . ber of communicants, though not in population, tho Protestant churches . oombincd. It was out in Kansas that a man re- oentiv tiokled former Senator Iugalls back of the nock,, relates the Kow York Telegram. In any other State than Kansas eucb an act prob ably would have been considered fa miliar rather than eooentrio. A Kan sas Probate Court jury came to the conclusion that it was even worse than occentrio, for the members adjudged the Senatorial tickler to be insane. Ambassador Uhl, at Berlin, sends some Qurmau commercial notes to the State Department whioh show how ef fectively the Empire is reaohing out for foreign trade all over the world which has hitherto belonged toothcr nations. It appears that Germany is second only to the United States now iu Guatomala nud Nicaragua, and last year took more than half the latter's coffee export. Having ended ber cus toms war with Spatu, Germany is now getting a good t-bure of Porto Rican trade, but is still debarred from Cuba by tho insurrection. In South Afrioa and South America tho same euocess is met, but the most Euocesiful effort is thnt being; mado in Japan, where Germauy has already reached second place, while the United States is fourth. . The oflioial enrollment of the Chris tian Endeavor Societies of the United Ftates discloses a membership of 2, 806,745. There are now over 47,000 loeieties ; 231,000 of the young peoplo connected with these organizations united with the different churches during the last year. Since 18 Si), they buve received a grand total of 1,048,.' J 235. Tho eflorts of these young people Lave not been coufinod to distinctively Christian work, the missionary and good citizenship movements having received speoiul attention. This shows most ellicieut traiuing on the part of their leaders. February 2d marked the tixteeulh anniversary of this re markably cfltotivo organization. Rev. Dr. Chirk, the father and fouuder, has been abroad for some time in the in terest of the movement. Through his t'tforts the young people of Germany buve been t ulisted iu the wcrk, and he isuow iu India pursuing his mifsion. When sixteen years a.o Dr. Clurk or-f-.auized the lirif Christian Endeavor Society in Portland Miy nobody had uuy oouojptiou of the possibility of a iai- reaching spread of its influences tv'tu buch us it is. T7 orest K VOL. XXIX. NO. HOPE'3 MESSENOER, A poet sang a song Into the night. For but one reason,.tkat ho needs must sing, And through the darkness, like n ray o' light, His simple song went slowly wandorlng. It passed tho mansions of the rich an I great, And none within 1th ptnlntivn tnmlo linard! It pnutol where mighty monarch sat In stnto, But not a soul was by Its music stirred. At lost It found a woman, bent In tears Above a bier, whoreon hor dead child lay, Itsmuslo softly crept Into hor ears, And to hor stnekon heart It seemed to say: "Arlso, fond mother, do those tearful eyos, And look no longer downward In dospair, But upward lift thy gnj-.e unto the skies; For.lolthy darllng'sangel dw.dlotll there." Lualus Perry Hills, In Losllo's Weekly. ON THE PUMPKIN VINE. AN K ITT and uavisvme aro connected by the N. D. Short line, a spur of the Great Central system, the main traok of whioh runs through Davis ville. Among its patrons the jn. ana v. is commonly known as the "Pumpkin Vino" be cause some ono bad once said that the train went about as fast as i pumpkin vine grows in wet weather. Tho rolling stock consists of an en gine, a pnssonger coach, a mail and expresi oar and four freight cars. Early enoh morning the train leaves Davisville, saunters across the fields to Nankttt, then back in time for din ner; in tho afternoon the same pro gram is goue through with, the Pump kin Vine getting back to Dnvisville like a schoolboy alraid of the dark, It is some niuetcen miles between the towns and by strict attention to business the four trips ore generally made in twelve hours. The conductor, Abe Rogers, acts as a brakoman ; it increases his pay and gives him oxer' cise. The N. & D. is paralleled almost its entire length by the olu Htato ro.id, and boastful young men are wont to match their colts against the battered pony engine as it puffs along on the other side of tho fence. Truth to say, any plug can distance the locomotive as it bumps ovor its grass-grown traok. . There is a story told of a hun ter who once got aboard the Pumpkin Vine with his gun and his dog. When he saw a quail or a prairio chicken he aimed from the window; if ho brought down bis bird the dog would loan off. find it and jump on the roar platform. People who aro fond of flowers step off, gather a bouqnet of Flora's paiut brush and prairie pointers, take a short spurt after tho crawling train and clamber on again. On May day tba Pumpkin .Vine stood at the Naukitt station, a build ing of about the size and architectural pretensions of a cigar box. It was warm for tho time of the year, the perfume of crab blossoms drifted in through tbo open windows of the coach and the passengers sprawled about in the lassitude brought on by the first boat. A group of Swedes jabbered together in a corner, wax ging thoir yellow beards over the misdoings of one Poter Oloson of their people. Several Naukitt lawyers were on their way to Cironit Court and Tom Hargrove Jsat on the arm of a seat, swinging his feot and talking to old Squire Phinney, a looal J. 1 A traveling mau came in, tugging at two valises. He sunk into a seat and wiped bis forehead. "Awful weath er," he sighed. The conduotor helped lift a cultiva tor into the baggage-car, then he went to the door of the waiting room and shouted "Allabud" to tho cannon utove. "Allobnd," be said again on tho plat form, waved bis arm to the engineer and boppod on to the rear platform. The whistle blew and the trees and barns began to slide slowly backward. A young man and woman ran around the corner of the station. "Stop that train I" the man yelled to the conduotor. They ran down tho traok and before the eonduotor had done anything the girl had swung her self up on the rear platform and the man had followed. They stood look ing at each other with palpable relief. "It's dangerous getting on a car in motion," the conductor said, sternly. "You don't get no damages if you're killed." "I know, but we bad to make it," the man said when be bad the breath to spare. "We thought you wasu't going to stop it." He had an hon est, sunburned face, his clothes were of broadcloth, his new boots creaked and his paper collar was somewhat the worse for the heat. . The girl bad the beauty of seven teen color, without feature or soul. She had adorned herself in a multitude of bows and bangles and saw the wo-'d from under tho eaves of a huge while hat. They entered the car with tho oon eciouunoss born of being in love. "Looks like a brido and groom, doesn't it?" Tom said carelessly to tho squire. ''HuMo, that's Hink Har low." "Thought ho went to I oway," the i squire answered. "All the Harlow boys sold out here." "I guess he'ii back visiting; I'll go an I Bpeuk to him." Tom walked bauk to where Hink and the girl hud found a seat. 'Mowdy do? Wou't you in troduce me to jour wife?" Kink's face turned a deeper red than ever the sun had painted it. "She ain't my wife exactly yet," he stain-nit-red. The trniu was running uloug side the State road. !iak suJ yuly ttiUleil I Wife 49. TIONESTA. PA.. WEDNESDAY, MARCH 24, 1897. 81.00 PER ANNUM. np and looked out of the window. 'It s him," ho exclaimed excitedly. lie must 'a paw u got on Tom looked toward the road and saw a man stnnding up in a buckboard like a Roman charioteer, shaking his fist and apparently hnriing opprobrious opimeis at tue tram. "Wo enn't stop this here train now." they could hear the conduotor shout, "for we've got to be in Davisville by i.ou. it was men lu.ao. "1 II beat your old cow, then," the man yollud back in derision. "Tell 'era I'll meet 'cm at the Davisville depot, "Confound it," said Hink, "I wisbt he hadn't seen us get on." The girl began to crv. "What's the row? Who is that fol low?" Tom asked. "Why, you see, Mr. Hargrove," Hank replied, "bo's Mary's brother and bo's took a full notion that she sha'n't marry me says our Bill cheated him swapping watches. Mary am t eighteen till July and I ve got to get back to I-oway to cultivate my corn and so her mother said for us jest to slip away and get married with-. out lotting Dnrfey know. We come to Nankitt this morning, I got my license and we was going to the Bap tist preacher's when we seen Durfey coming. We was near the depot and so we jest eld ted and got on this train and he must 'a' saw us." "And now ho's going to Davisville to stop yon?" Tom queried. "Yes and ho'll bent us; for that bay he's driving can onttrot any horse around here." "Well, he enn't prevent her from marrying you, can he?" "I gness he could he's my guar deon," Mary said, lifting her "faoa al ready swollen with tours. "Then, anyway, if he mocts us and says I niubt go off with him I just know I'll do it. I won't want to leave Hink but I always do what Dnrfey tolls me." Tom wondered that any man should want to marry a girl with so little "backbone" so ho termed her timid ity but he liept this reflection to himself, knowing tho ways of bride grooms and their unreasoning fond uess. "Perhaps wo can got the con ductor to hurry up tho trim," he suggested. That personage was collecting fares in his shirt sleeves bnt wearing his cap to give an oflioial air. "Can we go a littlo fa3ter, Abe?" Tom said, as he gave up bis ticket; "this gentleman wonld like to beat that buckboard mau to Davisville. Runaways," ho whimpered in conclusion. The conductor frowned, punched the ticket, then utuek it in Tom's hat band. "We can't go moro'n nine miles an hour," he answered. " iVe've got strict orders not to kill no steers nor horses an .1 they're jest everlast iugly on this here track. But we'll try to keep that smarty on the State road in sight," ho onded, vindictively, for the insult of miscalliug bis train a oow rankled in his bosom. "When we stop at Sage I'll get off and tell the engineer. ' nago was a station where a grain elevator reared itself about the sur rounding - corncrius ana where a weather beaten platform served as depot. By the time the train reached there everybody in the car knew the story of the runaways. At Sage the Swedes clattered ont and tho couduo tor ran to the locomotive and told the engineer to "go a mito faster." The passenger could seo the man in the buckboard clipping along the road about a quarter of a mile ahead. "He's bound to beat you," Tom said, drawing in his head after a survey of their rival. "Hadn't you better get off at the next stop and try to get a farmer to drive yon back to Nankitt? Yon say you have your license?" "Yes," Hink answered, despond ently, "here it is." He drew it from his pooket and banded it to Tom. "If we did get off we mightn't find anybody willing to take us back." "That's so," Tom responded. He ran his eyes over the liconse a now idea came to him. "Would you let Squire Phinney marry you?" he asked. "He's there on the front seat. It will bo legal if it's done before we 1 reach the oity lino. ' "You can bet I'm willing to marry if Mary is," Hink answered, joyfully. "1 never thought l it be married by a squire, she said, "but 1 guess it s all right, for then I won't bavaj to go back with Durfev. oho wiped her eyes, patted her back hair and. smiled at ner lover. The sauire consented to per term the ceremony, although he said ho "disre- membered all tue quirKs in the servioe, not having his book." "But I'll make a stagger at it," he remarked, "and it will hold in law," 'All right." said Tom. HJ led the bride and groom into the aialo, both looking veiy warm und timid. "Don't be bashful," he counseled ; "tffe're all friends here. Tbs passengers crowded ar :uud the wedding party and the conductor put on his coat in honor of the onaasion. While the squire wiped hi t brow in preparation, Tom looked ou(c of the window. Mary s brother was. bowling along in a cloud of dust. "We ve iixed him," ho whispered, glepfully, to the traveling man. Squire Phinuey mumbled through the marriage ceromony, mak-'log noises in'his throat when be forgot t'jie words. Hink said "Yes so loud thad be was covered in a wave of eonf union, but Mary peeped out her assen,t in the voice of a canary. "I prouounoe you man and wife, the tquire said as the train slacked up at the second station. After the con gratulations wero over tho lxride and groom had a drink of ioe writer from the cooler and thou sat down on the back Beat where they could htold hands unobserved. The ear settled down to qiliet. Tom and the traveling mau smokjed on the platform and the old squire, richer 83 than when be started, put hia bandana over his face uud slept, Republican. As the train neared Davisville ex pectation woke on every face. Tom felt a pleasant thrill at the prospect of trouble when they reaohed the station. As . thev awnns around enrve they could see a bav horse and a buckboard tied to a post behind the depot. "He's thore I" Hink cried. "Lot mo go ont ahead of you, Hink," xom said as tue train stopped with final jar. The other passengers filed ont and grouped themselves where they could see what happened. Mary's brother came up close to the car steps, his forehead was drawn into deep creases and no Held Lis whip in his list. Tom came ont, closely followed by Hink and his wife. Ihe brother took a better bold of bis whip. "You yonng hound 1" he cried. Tom smiled as if he thought this was for him. He waved bis hand toward the young couple, "Mr. Durfey Maoey," he said, suavely, "I have the pleasure of presenting Mr. and Mrs. Barlow and "Yon lie, and I'll horsewhip you. too," the man shouted, brandishing nis winp. "No, I don't" Tom retortod. "They were married on this train. Ask any of these people." He indicated the passengers. Squire Phinney stepped forward "I married 'em," he aaid. with I chnokle, "while you was jogging along tne state road about half a niilo ahead. " X)urfey stepped back. "Well, wash my hands of the business." ha said, suddenly. "Mary, are you go ing back to see your mother before you go West? ' Yes, me n Hink are going back on this tram, she answered. Dnrfey turned away with a grant Squire Phinney folt that he had played a strong part and thought to round out the whole by a joke of hia own manufacture. "Good horse of yours," he called, "you ought-a train him for the race traok." Ha got here before the Potato Vine, anyway," tho mau growled, for getting the name of the railroad of love. .. Well, young man, thero's more'n one way of winning a race. the equire retorted, in a triumphant look of repartee. The passengors laughed at his sally, and then dispersed. Hink and Mary went baok into the car, deserted now save for the conductor, counting his change on the front seat. Thoy went to Iowa tho next week and the romance of their wedding gave'place to the prose of farm life. Squire Phinney, however, never tired of telling of the time he and Tom Har- grovo made a wedding on the Pump kin Vine aud what he afterward said to tho enraged brother. Buffalo (N. Y.) Times. In on Emergency . Painting the gum with iodine is one of the best remedies for toothache. If your iodine is too strong from age di lute it with a littlo alcohol. Candy should not be stirred while boihug, and the flavoring should not bo added until the candy is cooked . Granulated sugar is best for almost any kind of candy. Two things ulways to bo remem bered when cooking oatmeal are these : It should always be cooked slowly, as it then has a sweeter and better flavor. Oatmeal should not be stirred when cooking, as this tends to make it pasty. To determine if milk bf.s been adul terated stiok a bright sfeol knitting needle into the liquid and then draw it out. If the milk clings to the nee dle and drops from the end it is pure, but if the liquid runs oil' quickly the ttiilk has beeu mixed with water. A piece of tissue paper twisted and pushed into a bottle after it has been washed will absorb every particle of the moisture and loave it as dear as crystal. This is a good way to wash carafes. In trying ibis allow one ond of the paper to protrude above the ucck so it can be pulled out easily. Latest in Flying Machines. Leonard E. Clawton and Adam Beck, two business men of San Francisco. Cal., believe tbey have solved the problom of aerial navigation. They have jnst mado application for patents on their dovico. Thoir maobine, now in process of construction, consists essentially of fonr rods, each twenty feet long, parallel to each other, work ing on ball bearings iu a well braoed framework supporting the motive power and steering apparatus below. Uu each of these rods are a series of double wines constructed of a etoel wire framework, over which silk is stretched. These are so arranged in relation to eaoh other that when one wing is rising open, the other ' is de scending closed ; thus half tho wings aro at every instant pressing down ward while the other half are rising. but not pressing npward. Should the motive power full for any reason the entire wing surface instantly forms a parachute. A machine twenty feet long and with bearing eurfaoe six feet wide, it is believed, can be made to raise a weight of COO pounds, one oooupant alone supplying the power. New York Ad vertiser. A Mouse's quarter Century Run. A wheelman hung his bicvole from the ceiling of his cellar and not far from a swinging shelf on whioh food was kept. A mouse jumped from tho wall onto the tire of the front wheel. evidently hoping thereby to reaoh the shelf. The wheel started and mousie naturally ran toward the highest part of it. It was able to stay on the top of the tire, but couldn't get enough of a foothold to jump to the wall. When found next morning the mouse was very much exhausted, though ttill run ning. The cyclometer showed that it had traveled over twenty-eight miles. Aiuauy izm. i.i repress. THE MERRY" SIDE OF LIFE. STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BT THE rHT MEN OF THE PRESS. Sentiment and frugality-That's All A Domestic I'se A Urlght Groom Proof Positive. Etc., Ktc. Enob day his roses as surprises Come. If he kni-w, the stupid thing, Thnt ln two months nt prosent prlcos He'd save enough to buy a ring! Life, THAT'8 ALTj. "He's a poet, isn't ho?" "Oh, no. Ho merely writes verses for a valentine publisher." Lifo. FINE CHOICE OF WORDS. Editor "I seo yon have written an artiole on the bonrding-houso." Assistant "Yes, sir." Editor "Be-hash, isn't it?"- Truth. just Tnu TitorniiE. "Yes, I've been bunting for him all day. He seems very much engaged, lately." "Ho is; and both girls have found it out." Puck. AUDIENCE SUPPLIED TIIE EOOS. The Villain "We mado a bad mis take last night. In tho barnyard scene we forgot the eggs." The Comedian "Yes, but the audi ence didn't." ENOUGH. Sho (at tho masquerade ball) "Do you think my costumo becoming?" lie (withenthUHiasm) "les.indeed ; but you would be lovely in any dis guise." Harper's Bazar. A DOMESTIC USE. "It is certainly wonderful how much science can do for us." "Yes; Mrs. Frontrow has learned to hypnotize ber baby, and she didn't miss a club meeting the whole week." Cleveland Keeord. ENTtNGLED. "Husband, I think Mr. Woozlo is very much in love with our Clara." "Has ho proposed to her ? "Nj, but he stole her photograph taken at three weeks out of the family album." Chicago Reoord. OnOU.ND FOB TUB ACCUSATION. Papa "I ought to have that young follow arrested for trying to get money out of me ou false pretonoes." Mamma "Why, he s coming here three or four times a week pretending ho's in love with Maud." Puck. END OF THE nONEYMOON. She "I'm 6ure you love me no longer. Now do not deny it. I cau see the change in yon. I'm no fool. Yon should have married somebody stupider." He "I couldu t hnl one. July. NOT BUNCOED, ANYWAY. "Certainly," rejoined the Circassian girl, "wo are sold when we are mar ried, and it doesn t take us six mouths or a year to find it out, cithor. Aud tho beautiful barbarian glowered bazk at ber sister of civilized estate. Detroit Journal. A BRIGHT GROOM. Now Irish Grooui (to feed store) "Sind me up two bags of oats aud a bale of straw." Vsiiifl from feed store "All right. Who for, sir?" Groom "Tho horse, ye blamed fool, ye." Punch. rilRCISE. Counsel "Woll, after the witness gave you a blow, what happoned?" Prisoner "Ho gavo mo a third one. Counsel "You mean a second one." Prisoner "No, sir; I landed him the second one." Fuu. ILLEC1AT,. The Court "What is your ago, madam?" Tho Plaintiff "Muat I aniwor?" The Court "1'on must." The pbiiitiff-"Why, Judgo, I thought people didn't have to test ify against themselves. Iho Green Bag. PROOF POSITIVE. Realty Agent (exhibiting flat, beatu- ngly) "To prove to you that the walls are perfectly sonud-proof I havo ust ruu over into tho next flat and told the gentlemun thero to play the piano. Mr. rlalloigh (wearily) "Yes; my wile aud I heard you tutting him to play very softly." Puck. HE CUT NO ICF. 'I can get you a job at cutting ice f you want it," said the member of the Association for extending Assistance to the Worthy Poor. "I'm much obliged," taid Perry Patetic, "but Feeiu' as how I don't cut no ice vouinlly, 1 guess 1 might jiut as well keep it up ajou. other lines aud not bust mo reputation." Cincinnati Enquirer. Midiciiiiil Spring In Indiana. Tho water of a spring near ISich moud, Ind. , is raid to havo rare medi cinal properties, nnl the black mud found about tho spring is alleged to have oausod mauy wonderful cures during tho past few months. Mr. lteed, tho owner of the spring, makes no charge whatever for the water or mud, aud hundreds of gallons are taken away each mouth by citizens of Richmond. Thero are a number of prominent peoplo who attribute thoir oouiploto cure of rheumatism to the use of this remarkable w iter, aud to the application of the mud upon the alilicted parts. Chicago Chronicle. SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL. Roentgen ray photographs were ad mitted as evidence in a Denver (Col.) court recently. Colored photographs taken at a single operation are shown by Dr. Joly, of Dublin, Ireland. A great international congress of science will be held at Dover, Eng land, and across the channel at Bou logne, France. Professor Amos E. Dolbear, of Tufts College, an eminent electrician, pre dicts that it will be possiblo ere long to flash signals to Mars by means of great searchlights. A new source of true gutta porcha, capable of adding 100 torn a year to the world's supply, is reported to havo been found in a creoping plant grow ing in Frenoh Soudan. A new device for ringing street car gongs has two projections plaoed on opposite sides of the car axle, the bell lever being thrown into contaot by means of a foot lever on the oar plat form. When the car is at a standstill the boll is rung by the pressure ot the same lever. According to the Botanical Gazette, a notable cactus garden has been estab lished at the University of Arizona. It is the intention to bring together eventually all the Caotaoero whioh are indigenous to the United States, and already more than one hundred species are represented. It is said that the Chinese wash fine silk in very pure water, and, as ordinary well water is unsuitable, it ie purified by putting a quantity ol mollusks (e. g. Falndinro, fresh-water snails) in it for a day. These proy on the orgauio matter it contains, and thereby act as filters. A recently patented machine for dyeing ootton or other fabrios consists of a oolor trough in whioh a transfer roller oovered with a spongy sub stance is turned by the oloth pressing over it, pressure being brought to bear upon it by means of two heavv rollers, one on either side of the trans fer roller. To facilitate the measuring of a Der- son's head for a hat a new device has a strap running around the crown which can be drawn through a buckle to make the bat larger or smaller as de sired, until it fits he person's head, when the Bize hat wanted is indicated by the number on the strap next to tue DucKie. The speculative astronomer have given ns some queer oaloulations and odd comparisons. Ono of the mo.it onrions of these is one in which the rotative size of the sun and somo of the planets is shown. They toll us that if the sun could be represented by a globe two feet iu diamoter. the earth would be represented proportion ally by a pea, Mars by a pin head and Mercury by a mustard seed. It Mngnillcs Oilois. Among the latest inventions, savs the St. Louis Republic is a maohino which will take a liquid that has hero- lore been regarded as odorless aud distil the most delicate perfume. A drop ot perfumery or essence placed on the receiver will, on applying tho nostril to the nosepiece or opening, prodnoe an overpowering stench that would in a very Bhort time, if con tinued, oause symptoms of Euffooatiou. The instrument can be utilized in nearly 'every walk of lifo. To the grocer it will prove invaluable in de tecting adulterations ot goods. Tho chemist, druggist and pbysioian, of course, can find ready use for it in thoir buriness, while it has been sug gested that bank paper can be tiuo tu red with a special odor, impercepti ble to tho ordiuary souse of smell, but whioh could readily be detected by the soentograph, thus greatly lessening the liability of banks to fraudulent opera tors. It is also olaimed for the machine that it will beoomo popular in the homes of the wealthy, , for by the aid of its mechanism the atmos phere of a large mansion can be kept constantly permeated with a most del icate and choice porfume at a nominal expouse. For hospital and sick rooms its service will prove ioostiniuble. The maobine itself is a small alluir, about twelve inohes square and eight inches high. It is made of wood, and tho opening where the nostrils are applied is nickel plated. lost A Family Hyphen. What has become of tho hyphen that tho Bradley Martins used to employ to glorify their silver abovo other Mar tins? They discarded it in England, for hyphenated names, onoe "the rage, have gone out of style. In lieu of it fashion has taken up again the use of tho initial of tho first name. giving the middle uame in full as H. Van KousBolaer Crugor, W. Waldorf Kstor, 1'. J. Oakley lthinclandor, etc., etc. To be right up to date tbo Brad ley Martins need a prefatory initial. New York Pres. Vigorous Veterans. A Bath (Mo.) man, aged sixty veara and weighing 250 pounds, fell three stories on to a pile of iron one day re cently, but ho immediately got up and climbed back to tho loft from which he had fallen. Dauiel Clay, of Strafford. N. H.. curried a bag of meal weighing lot) pounds a distance of three miles re cently ou a wagor without puttiug it down. Ho is seventy-six years old. aud tho feat was a tout ot endurance, LSoston Herald. ItusHiuu Hrdronliobla Institutes. There are seven institutes in Russia in active operation for the treatment of hydrophobia. The total number of patient treated between IHHtl und 1S'.2 was 14,3(i'J, of whom 2(1!;, or l.Kt per cent. died. More than DODO of those were bitten by dogs aud of these 0.TJ per cent, died, while 621 were bitten by wolves and of these lb.2ti per cent. died. RATES OF AOVERTISINQi One Sauare. On Sqtiara, on inch, on month. ., 8in On Pqiiarc on Inch, three months. . ft line t-'quare, one Inch, one year 10 w I wo Hqtinre, one yenr 15 m Quarter Column, one year..,,,,,,,,,. JH no Half Column, one year soon One Column, one year 10U 00 Ieeal advertisement ten cents per line each Insertion. Marriages and deith notlcas grnM. All blllsfor yearly advertisement collected quarterly Temporary advertisements must be paid in advance. Job work cash on delivery. FATE. Two shall bo born the whole wide world npart And speak In different tongues nnd have no thought Eaoh of the other's being, and no hood. And these o'er unknown seas to unknown lands Shall cross, escaping wreck, defying death; An all unconsciously shapa every not And bend each wandering stfp to this ono end, That one day out of darkness thoy shall meet Aud road life's meaning in each other's eyes And two shall wnlksomo narrow way of lifo Ho nearly side by side that should one turn Ever so little spneo to left or right, Thoy needs must stand acknowledged fnos to face, And yet with wishful eyes that mver meet, With groping hands that never clnp, and lips Calling In vain to oars that never hear, Tboy seek each olhor all thoir weary days, And die unsatisfied; and this Is Fate. Susan Marr Spalding. HUMOR OF THE DVT. "Doesn't hor singing appeal to you?" "Well, it does seem in need of help." Truth. If you are looking for trouble toll a woman that her new wrnp is unbecom ing. Atchison Globe. Mr. Dudoley (during tho shampoo) 'Ah I I eny, me good fella, you will shake me brains out I" Barber "No danger, sir." Judge. Friend "Why is it that there is so much dyspepsia in this couutry?" Doctor "My theory is that we have too many cooks." Puck. Diner "Isn't that a pretty Fmall steak?" Attendant "Yes; but you'll And it will take you a good while to cat it." Boston Transcript. "I understand your football eleven has lost several members." "Oh, none to speak of ; only a half dozen ears or so." Indianapolis Journal. "Mamma, I saw n dog to day that hal only throe legs." "Weren't you awfully sorry for him?" "No'm ; he had one more log than I had." Lon don Tit-Bits. Freddie "What do you want to oatoh the fly for?" Little Johnnie "Sistoi has just made hersolt a glass of lemonade, and I'm awful dry." Pittsburg Bulletin. "Sardonix enoouraged me to offer my picture. He intimatod that it ought to bo exhibited," said the artist. "What did be say?" "Ho said it was a sight." Washington Star. "If I have my coming-out patty at the same time as Daisy Inuet's, mam ma, not a sooiety reporter will oome." "Wo might advertise our eupper an hour later than hers." Puck. Smith "You told me your friend sang like a bird. I thiuk ha has a hor ribly hoarse voice. How can you say it is like a bird?" Jonos " Well, tho bird I meant was a crow." Judge. "1 don't know," cried the excited feminine voice iu the darkness, "whether you are my husband or a burglar, but I'm going to bo ou the safe side and shoot." Detroit Tri bune. "I am a plain man," said Bloughly, "and I believe in being praotical. I love you nnd I waut you to be my wife." "Woll," replied the fair one, "how muoh are yon worth?" Phila delphia Auicrloan. Sho "It is true that I have broken the engagement, and that I still have your ring, but do yon know why I re tain that nugr" tlo (ruefully) "On the theory, 1 supposo, that to thfl tor belong tbo spoils." Truth. Proprietor -'Why did you not givo that gentleman the roast chicken he asked for?" Waiter "1 know my businoss. I gavo him something chcapor, bo's he would have some money left to tip me with." Stand ard. "Yes," remarked tho proud father, "he's tho finest baby the neighbor hood has ever seen. Mv wife says the sume thing." "Are you going to make a musioiau of him?" "Ob, it's alto gether too early to decide that. His hair hasu't begun to grow yet." Washington Star. Young Wife (wishiug to please) "Now, dear, what dress would you ad- viso me to wear for the concert this evening?" Foud Husband "Well, I i think an accordeon skirt, with a brass baud round the waist, and piped sleeves, might fit tho ooeasion." Philadelphia Bulletiu. Teacher "As an example iu frac tions, supposo a man Eept a butoher's hop aud a customer called for rive pounds of moat, and he bad only four to soil. What would tho butcher do?" Johnny (a butoher's bright son) "Keep his hnud on the meat while ho was weighing it." Standard. "Ah, a new drama," repeated the playwright. "About how decent would you like it? "Oh, from one hundred uud lifteentooue huudred and tweuty volts," aus.vered the rnauager. Peo ple were by no menus as easily shooked as formerly, and art had governed it-t-olf accordingly. Detroit Tribune. Ho -"When 1 was in tho West tho lat-t time I b id n very narrow escape from a lmi'uiu,' h U I. I was uwakeued by tho binoke, nud with not a minute to spare ru.-hed down the lire eeapo " Sho (hreulbleii-ly) "Oh, what did you have ou ?" lie (visibly em barr iifcl) "Ah hum a very lively bust:e, inks." Cir.lill Western Mail. Street SwiM-plii;,' I'lilucd. Cliel ea Pktriet, in LouJou, utilizes its tdreet refuse by separating the rags and paper, whie!i are eouverled mto browu wrapping paper, while the rest of the rcluxe is bmued iu the furnaces of the reilue.u-, works an I the rcol iluuiu is Ubod iu bricUuiakin.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers