The Forest Republican It pnbllihod every WaJnm lay, r,y J. E. WENK. Office ia Smearbaugli & Co.'i BuiUinj ELM STREET, TI0NE3TA, TA. Torina, SI,(M Tor Year, No subscriptions received for a shorter period than thrno month. Correspondence sollolte I from nil parti of tha country. Mo nolle will bo taken of nnonyinout oouiniunioatioui. RATES Or ADVERTISINCl One Square, one Inch, one insertion..! 1 00 One Square, one Inrh, one month. .. 8 00 One Fquare. one Inch, three months. . K 00 One Square, one inch, one year 10 OH Two (Squares, one ye:ir ... ..,- IS! Quarter Column, one year,.,., 3'1 Half Column, one year... 50 00 One Column, one year 100 Oil Ijegnl advertisements ton cents pr line each insertion. Marriages and deith notices gratis. All hills for yearly advertistnuiits collected quarterly Temporary advertisements roust be pai l in advance. Jou work cans on delivery. For EPUBLICAN 9 VOL. XXIX. NO. 24. TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 30, 189G. S1.00 PER ANNUM. w JLV .'iitstistioinus estimate that the world's stock of silver coin amounts U 81,000,000,000.' Tho Vermont Stnto prison is ft self sustaining infetitutioD. "Ever; State prison should bo," maintains tho New port (It. I.) Herald. In tho Nuremberg Choss Tonrna i) cut, tho young German, Dr. Lnskur, fairly enrnod the honor of being tho groatest living player of tho roya' game. l i. X... ,.ll .. - .1.1. uiinu tuiiuio una jnuuu juiv a niuw i of almost hopeless desuetude in this I country, and even in England, its borne, it has been eclipsed by tho moro fascinating sports of bioyoling and golf. An optimistio livery stable kecpot says that tho use of tho bicyolo will die ont. llopo, springing eternal in the human breast, and, in tho estiina tion of the Snn Francisco Examiner, has seldom given a more sprightly ex bibition than this. A German physioian says that Stan Icy owes the fact that ho alone of those who made op his party has bo long survived tho most dangerous of his African trips to his having sub mitted five times to a transfusion of African blood into his voins, which ia believed in Afrioa to bo a great aid to acclimatization. It is not generally known, except by certain persons whose oflioo it is to learn of such matters, that the im mense turn of $0,500,000 is annually expended in charity in the city of New York. That, at least, is the approxi mate amount, estimated as closely as oiroumstances admit of on the part of exports. There are about C00O fam ilies who are listed "givers" to char- The acoidont insnranoe businosB in. tho Uuitod States has boon of rapid growth. It is hardly more than twen ty years ago that it was undertaken by a tingle company as an experi ment, but there are now ten large ctock companies and many more mu tual or assosssment companies in the field. Last year they reoeived nearly 87,000,000 in premiums, and paid out about $3,000,000 in losses. In 1895 ten of tho leading mutual companies carried $301,539,700 of risks, reoeived 5933,397 in premiums, and paid out 8111,172 in losses; the loss ratio was 17.2 per cent. In the samo time the teu stook '"panics carried $1,261, 271,017 in v. .is, collected $5,752,023 ia premiums, and paid $2,515,800 in losses; their loss ratio was 13.7 per out. In San Francisco the telephone oonv pany is putting in what it calls kitchen telephones at fifty cents a month. For this sum the subscriber may call tip and talk to one other subscriber as often as ho chooses. But he has no boll by which the other subscriber may call him up. The kitchen tele phono is conneoted usually with the grocery. For fifty cents more the Bub Eoriber may havo a tolephono connec tion with his dootor, or any other per son. Ho may call np any subscriber to tho general eervico of the oity for ve cents. The company does not say that this service can bo given with profit at tho rate named ; it expects to recoup by getting the people into the habit of using telephones, knowing that the telephone habit is a hard one to-break. The action of tho German Govern ment in passing a law by which the Government is to exercise control over all stock exchanges will doubt-' less result in a similar attempt in the United States, predicts the New York Commercial Advertiser. It is the purpose of the German Government to exercise severe control over the stock exchange transactions and the issue of stocks and bonds by new com panies, with a view to lessening spec ulation and protooting the publio from fraudulent or uncertain finanoial ' and commercial enterprises. A com prehensive law to this end has just been adopted by the Reichstag by an overwhelming majority. It is likely to cause a revolution in the present stock exchange method. In the first place, it 19 intouded to discourage 6toek speculating by forbidding cer tain borson-terinin-haudel (exchange time oontracts) for grain, as well as stocks and bonds. The Government will assume a certain control over the stock exchange busiuoss, with special reference to listing ou the fctoofc CX cbanu" a! Efc.; L';:.c: oi stocks and bonds or paper of now companion It will endeavor to maintain less fluctu ating ami, as tho agrarians hope, higher prices for grain and mill pro duols by forbidding all time delivery contracts beiug uiado on 'ehaugo for ouch grain and products. I sleep sono. Lei's sail to Bloop, my boy Tho far-off shore of Sloop, Whore wators oreep, my boy, Where lotus-meadows swoepl The lillnsloll npon tho tlrod tide, Tho brooding birds' songs sound away nnd wldo, And tinkling tones fill oopsos through tho country's side Let's sail to Sloop, my boy. Lot's sail to Sloop, my boy! Dld"byo-byo" now, my boy, Wo'ro over Slumber Boas An 1 from tho prow, my boy. Bee moadows motion mo! Waves touoh tho crinkled shores with kiss - - ' mothor's. h""Vn 8lo1n,;",,B1' And soft the Mrs that sing and slguul com. jpg bliss Now rest In Sloop, my boy, Now rest In Sloop, my boy! -W111T. Halo, A BABE IN THE WOODS. AUREN CE Qaydon had gone off alone on a sketching tour. The quain told rooms in Ap- i, pie-wee-eouri, (xL Temple were looked up ; the laundress had expressed the intention to "Rive em a good doin' hup" before his return, bnt I had beon strictly forbidden to touch anything under pain of the severest penalties. And now. at the end of his first week of ruralizing. Gavdon felt that he had nearly bad enough of loneliness. Tho little village inn was comfortablo, and Bonifaoe sufficiently talkative; it was a pleasant thins to sit in the dopths of tho woods all day, painting and dreaming ; it was sooth- ing to hear the twitter of tho birds in the early morning, bofore tumbling out of bed. But Lauronce Gaydon was a man who lived best in the atmosphere of cafes ; tho musio ho beet loved was the ceaseless hum and chatter of a great city. Let it not be thought that he was, ty reason of this, artificial in any sense ; his sympathies were too broad I for that, and one glance into his gray eyes, witn that lurking fire of mis- chief in their dopths, would have con vinced any man that he was one to be trusted. Children thought so, at all events, and there are no more onerr ing judges than they, He went out, on this dav whioh he told himself should be his last, and set np his easel in the woods and began to work. A little pathway ran olose to where he sat, on the borders of tho wood, and a stile crossed it. and broke the tangled regularity of tho wild, un- trained hedge, Ho had been working for some time, when he heard the sound of approach iug footstops. Something of a frown crossed his face, for he had no wish to be disturbed, and ho was well ao qnainted with tho unmeaning stare of the average rustic and its disoonoert iug properties, under tueso ciroum stauoes, ho kept his head bowed over his work and frowned moro hoavily than before, The steps whioh appoared rather light for a rustio stopped near him, within a few yards, and the next mo mont the silence was broken by the clearest and sweetest tones he bad eve heard. "Good morning I" He glanced up quickly, and almost dropped his palette in his surprise, lucre, perched on tho top of the stile, was a dainty maiden, clad all in white, with a great napping hat shad ing her curls, and with a little basket resting in her lap. Her back was partly turned towards him, and she was glancing over her shoulder at the canvas critioally. Laurenoe uaydon pulled ou his hat and returned tbo greeting. "What are you doing iu my wood? she asked. "I I'm sure I had no idea I didn't I didn't know that I was trespass iug, be began hurriedly. -But she interrupted him calmly, "Oh! you needn't bo frightened," she exclaimed. "I call it my wood, you see, because no one ever eeems to come here except myself. Don't let mo interrupt you, I like to see you work. Wo cau go on talking just the same cau t wo She did go on talking in the artless, confiding manner of a child. Before she finally jumped down from the stile, and ran lightly- out of eight among the trees, Laurence Gay don had heard her whole history, "I never get any ono to talk to," she explained, with a wistful ehake ot the head. "Poor old dad died a year ago, and sent me over here. That's where I live that big house through the trees. There's only my Uncle Gubtave he makes you shudder whon you look at him ; and Aunt Louise- she's like Lady Macbeth, only fiercer ; and the servants. They look after me and my money. Uncle's my guardian, yuu kuow; poor old dad thought a lot of him. I believe he's awfully clever. But you havcu't told me your name yet. "Well, some people have the im pudence to address mo familiarly as Laurie," he replied. "Very rude of them ; shows they don't appreciate my ul"it ? '." proper manner. Most peo ple call me A.. Gaydon. 'Oh! I think Laurie, is a jolly name." she exolaiuieu "It seems to go round vour touguJ so nioely, doesn't it?" "Yes, l'vo noticed that myself, u he replied, as seriously as he could. "But you haven't told me yet what your uutne is." 'Nellie N'tjllie Meade. Now I iiif wfflmtm wmm mm , . ... 1 must run away, ouau you uo acre to-morrow?" "yes-Nellie." "I'm glad. So shall I. Good-by, Laurio. Isn't it lucky we met!" "Very lucky. Good-by." It is scarcoly nocessary to rooord that Mr. Laurence Gaydon did not ro turn to London on that day as he had contemplated doing. The whole aspect of the country side had beon altered by the appear ance of this romantio little figure ; tho girl's loneliness and her absolute confidence in him stirred and awak ened that bolter nature which was his chief charm. lie wont again and again to tho wood, and thoy chatted iu their own unconstrained fashion, as though all the world held only themselves and the birds, and there existed no such ogre as convention. On one particular occasion she ran up to him excitedly, almost upsetting his easel. "You are not busy this morning- are you? 1 want you to come to the house. Unole and Lady Macbeth have gono to town for tho day, and there are only the three servants we sban t see them. Do como np, Laurie : I wan't to show you everything." He left his easel, ane they wan dered away together in the direction of the house, it was a great, ram bling old-fashioned place with strange old corridors and echoing rooms. lie had a memory afterwards of seeing the white clad figure of the girl flitting on betoro him a strange presence iu that dismal old plaoe. In one part of the houso no noticed that she kept close beside him, although it was broad daylight, "I hate this place." sho whispered, vehemently. "My room is here, al- though I asked them to put it in the 1 other wina. It's awful at night: I nimnlv shut mv eves and race down the corridor, and rush into the room and look thoTdoor. I hate tho place I" On the impulse of the moment he I put his arm about her and drew her nearer to him; she smiled at him I gratefully. "I don't mind so much now, Laurio," ehe whispered "Dear little Nellie," he replied. "I think you do believe in me a little ; I believe in myself a bit, sinoe I have met you. Will you promise me that, if ever you are in trouble, you will let me help vou that you will come to mo first of all?" She swung round suddenly and looked into his earnest gray eyes and bent forward and kissed him "You're tho dearest bov in all tho world." she said. "I will alwavs trust von." - ... I Ha lav awake for hours that night. in the little room at tho inn. thinking about this fairv princess shut up in the ogre's castle in the woods. The next dav she did not come to the moetinsr nlaoa : it was strange how dark and sombre the woods seemed. Lanrnna Gavdon tormented himself with a thousand doubts and fears, and did but little work. He went back latointho afternoon to the inn, half in hope that there might bo some mes- sage for him ; there was none. After dinner, Btill with that strange fear upon him, be strolled again in the direction of the woods in the twi light, and thence on to the house, Thoro woro lights in various win dows, but, although he walked right round, he saw nothing of the girL An average young man would have folt satisfied that Nellie Meade was probably dining with her lawful guardians in tho security of her own home, and would have called himself a fool and gono baok to the inn. But Laurenoe remembered her childish terror in the house on the previous day; he' thought of the loneliness of this bright young creature, who ram bled about the woods alone ; he thought of her trust in him. He made up his mind at last to see her, to hear from hor own lips that all was well. With the light of mischief stronger iu his eyes than usual he swung himself up by the ivy and clam bered into a window, It's a good'thing that 1 m small and light," he muttered, "or that ivy would have given way. jxow to dis oover my prinoossand defeat the wick od unole, He was proceeding cautiously along the corridor, in absolute ignorance as to what part of the aouBe he might be in, when ho heard tho sound of voices near him ; at tho samo moment the door ouened opposite to him. lotting flood of light down the corridor. The two persons who emerged from the doorway were so intent in conver sation that they did not even glance toward him, and he had time to noise lessly slip behind a curtain. He had no doubt, from tueir ap pearance, that they were tue uncio and aunt of whom Nellie had spoken. The woman was tail, handsome, strong featured and magnificently dressod ; the man had the most sinister expres sion of countenance Gaydon ever re membered to have Been. His closely cropped hair set off his heavy, harsh features aud retreating forehead in the inoairiuarked manner ; ho was in even. ins dress, aud wore a brilliaut star, or foreign order of some description, bus pended round his neck. The woman wore a cloak, and it was evident thut both woro about to pay a visit. The man was the first to speak, iu a low voice, scarcely above a whisper; "Where ie'tho tirl now?" "In her rooms, I cxpeet; I am not sure. You fully understand the r rangeuients? Is thoro no fear ot de tection?" "Not the slightest, my sweet wifo," replied the mau. "My reputation is too great. It will be merely a girl's mad freak. The knife will be clasped in hor baud." "It seems almost a pity but " "Nonsense! It is uo more than the life of a goat ; wo men of science vrfiw theso things differently. Besides, we nl'iHt have tho money ; but for that cursed" fool Meade we should Lav had it. It comes to mo in the event of tho girl's death. It shall come to me now. 'Yes we mnst have money ; you know best. But don't bunglo, Gua- tave." Foot not, my wife tho verdiot will be suicide." Tbey passed on and the voices died away. Laurence Unyclon, with, bis Heart throbbing wildly, cropt out, and stolo along in the direction of. the girl's room. This ho exporienood somo difficulty In finding, but at length ho reaohod it and knocked at tho door soitiy ; wore was no response, and he pushed it open and looked in, whispering hor name. The room was empty. In lass time than it takes to write he had swuug himself out through the window by which ho had entered, scrambled down tho ivy, and was rao- ing through the woods with no very detinits purpose in his mind, save that bo must find her and help Her against theso people. He had emerged from the wood ana was going down the white road which led to the inn, when he met her. In all his life he had never felt so thank ful as at that moment. I have been down to the inn, Laurio. to look for you. I am bo clad I have found you." what has happened, jNeine mine? be asked, tenderly, as be drew her aside within the shadow of somo trees. "Nothing, but I am frightened," replied the givl. "I daro not go back there to-night. i found this alter noon that the lock has been broken' the iock ot my uoor. "Nonsense, child." "I know you will laugh at mo, Laurio, dear, sho continued, in agi tated tones, "but I have a foeling that something awful is going to happen. I can t go back. She clung to him, and hid her face, "You oertaiuly shan't go book, my dear, be said. "No, listen to me, Nelho. Do you trust me completely now and always? Will yon let me look after you will you do anything that I suggest, notwithstanding it may appear strange? "Of course 1 will, Lianrio, enesaiu, looking earnestly at him Will you try to love me, dearf Will vou bo my wife?" "There is no one in all the world l love so well, Laurie," she replied. 'Mv sweet little woman f Mow, listen. This is a matter absolutely of nothing less than life or death your life, or your death. Remember, you are to trust me. Wait here for rive minutes. ,v , P 1 1 1 t iie was ou ociore sue couw buubb, racing down tho road in the direction of the inn. In an incredibly short time he was back again and she noticed that he held a package under bis arm. Her first exclamation was of the tragic variotv. "Laurie, dear, you have shaved off vour mustaouo I "Yes, my darling, but it II grow again. Now look here, in this knap. sack is a change of clothes. We re both about the same height, and they'll fit you to a nicety. Slip off in to the wood and get into thorn, "What!" "For heaven's sake don't hesitate, it's life or death, I tell you and a bit of fun on my own aooount. I want your frock and bat, stun the rest the things into the knopsaok and bring it back here. Don't stop to talk." She disappeared with the bag, and in a few moments the slim, prepossess ing figure ot a young man in a tweed knickerbooker suit emerged in her place from the woods, with a very blushing face. Gaydon put his hat on her head, tucking her hair well up in to the crown. "Now, get me into this frock," he exolaimed, laughing. She slipped it over his hoad, and knotted the sash abaut him, and perched the hat on his fair huir, fas tening it under his chin with somo ribbon ehe took from the neck of the dress. 'Pins are of no use to you," she said. "In this purse you will find all the money you want ; I've ordered a fly to be ready at the inn. Here's my ad dress fn town Apple-tree-oourt ; hero aro my keys. Ihe fly will take you aoross to Warmingford, and you'll I just be in time to eaten trie nigut ex press to London, lake a hansom when vou get to town, and drive straight to the Temple ; if the porter says anything, answer him without hesitation, 'Mr. Gaydon, Apple-tree- court.' You will find No. 9'J on the right of Mi.tdle Temple-lane top floor. Lot yourself in and go to bed I'll be there in the morning. Leave the knapsack here ; I shall want it to put this frock in. I've got a cap, so I shall be able to come to town as a do- oout male." "But, Laurio, dear, what are you going to do? "Give the wicked uncle a surprise, my love. I'll tell you all about it af terwards. Romember my instructions aud don't forget that for the next few hours you are Laurenoe Gaydon. Off with you I" She rau iu the direction of the inn, and Laurenoe, with a chuokle, gath ered the skirts of the frock about him aud raced through the woods. Ho clambered up the ivy once more and found his way to the girl's rooms ; turned the light low, lay down on the little white bed and closed his eyes. He became aware presently that a hand was stealthily thrustiug open the door, and that some oue was steal ing softly across the floor of the room. Slightly opening his eyes he saw Unole Gustavo, with a long narrow knifo in his hand, stuudiug watching him iu the dim light. Iu an iutdaut he sprang up and struok tho mau full be tween the eyes. In all his u Weuturoiw career, it is probable, thut UusUve Caudell haJ over boon so snrprisod ai nt that moment. For, in an instant, ho found himself staggoring about thd place, vainly trying to ward off tho attacks of this athlotio girl, who wns fighting him in tho most scientifio fashion, all around the room. At last, stanned and bleeding, he lay with closed eyes in a corner, and whon he reoovered consciousness the girl hat' vanished. Whether from superstitions dread, or from any moro real fear, Gustavo Caudoll and his wifo disappeared. Probably a certain lottor, which Lau rence wrote on thodayof his wedding, may have had something to do with it. 'I should have given it to him n good deal hotter," Laurence explainod to his wife afterwards, "if it hacln t have been for that blessed skirt. It nearly tripped mo np odco or twice. can t think how you women can move in them." Illustrated Bits, M-'IESTIFIC AXD INDUSTRIAL. German investigations seem to show that towns strung with telephone wires are loss liable to lightning stroke than others. A new hypnotio has probably been found in the Jamaica dogwood. Tho fluid extraot has been found ellicaoious in dentistry. Paris policemen have beon supplied with electrio dark lanterns, by means of whioh they can see ono hundred and fifty feet away. The offensive weapon of the ostrich is his leg. He can kick as hard as a mule, and it is a remarkable fact that his kick iff forward, never backward. The humming bird, in protecting its nest, always flies at and pecks the eves of its adversary. Urows have been found totally blind from tho humming bird's bill. Power developed by Niagara Falls and transmitted to Bullalo, N. 1., by electricity will cost $30 per horse power per year, a saving of szu per horse power lor average lots. Beef is the most nutritious of all animal foods and can be eaten longer continuously than any other kind of meat, resembling rice and bread in that respeot. Fresh beef is almost completely digested, more completely than milk is by an adult. George W. Dunn, an octogenarian naturalist of California, who has been there sinoe 1819, is making a colleo tion of the butterflies of the Pacifio Slope for Baron de Rothschild, to bo added to the Baron s entomological museum at Trig, England. So thoroughly praotical are Roent gen rays considered by the medical department of the English War Office that two sets of Roentgen-ray appara tus, it is reported, have been sent up the Nile to be used by the army sur geons in locating bullets and in de tormimng the extent of bone frac tures. Germany has made somo bold ex porimcnts at railroad speed on the line between Berlin and Gorlitz. Tho best performance was 05 milos, which was twelve miles better than the high est speed of the fastest German train the Berlin-Hamburg lightning ex press, whioh does 177) miles in three and one half hours. Ordinary Uer man express trains make 13 milos an hour. ; It is popularly supposed that the sudden downpour which usually lol lows a bright flash of lightning has in some way beon caused by tuo dis charge of the electricity. The most advanced weather sharps are now making experiments which it is be lieved will prove that the contrary is the exact cause ; in other words, that it is the Buddon increased precipita tion whioh causes the lightning flash, instead of tho lightning flash caubiup: the sudden increase in rainfall. The Exncrlucss of Youth, By far tho most skillful of tin bicycle riders who crowd the Boule vard and the asphalted streets those fine afternoons are children of from five to ten years old. They excol the older riders in every element whioh goei to constitute skill iu the manage ment of a bioyolo, as well as in grace and ease of carriage. Tho funda mental reason for this fact probably is to be found iu their superb self confidence. It makes no diiVerencc, apparently, whether they aro boys oi girls. They rido along the crowded streets, dodging in and out among the trucks aud tho scorchers with the greatest unoonceru. Every afternoon three or four little girls, not more than Bix years old, rido in tho Boule vard. They go out alone and unat tended. Tho boys of that ago travel alongside of tho other bicyclists with out any difficulty, and, iu fact, seem able to make greater dibtanccs with less fatigue than tho grown-ups. Home Journal. Photographs of the 81111, Photographs of the sun wero taken at Greenwich during tha year jusi ended, with tho Dallmeyer photobelio graph, mounted on the terrace roof oi tho south wing of the Physical Observ atory, on 229 days, and of these, 45 have been selected lor prcjervation besides fourteen photographs witb double images of the sun ior determin ation of zoro of position allele. Foi the year 1895 Greenwich photographs, havo beeu selected for maasnrt-meul on 219 days, aud photographs frou' India and Mauritius filling up tlx gaps iu the series ou 113 duys, mitk iug a total of 3ii2 days out of 3 ', j oi which photographs are available. Au Agile Veteran. Frauk Pickeriug, of Saoo, Me., who is more thau sixty years old, cliuibod up a flag polo sixty-fivo feet high last week, and used uu climbers, either just simply "bhiuned" right up, fixed the top of the polo aud tlul don u with the ability of a boy of sixteen. CUE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE, STORTKS THAT ARE TOLD BT THE FUNNY MEN OV THE PRESS. The Ins nnd Onta l!nd One I'.Mlier Would Do The Queen Anno Stvla The Intruder Survived, Ktc. "Jle'll get well now." tliy said outside. "There isn't any doubt. For by tho doctors' InilintlT Thcy'vo not tho bullot nut " t hh-ngo TriliUU'.'. A BAP ONE. Bho "Is this ilress a fit?" He "It couldn't be much moro of n fit withont being a convulsion." De troit Free Press. TftE QUEr.N ANSIS TTYLE. CnBtomor "I would like to hnvo n moe gown to wear around tuo nonse. Salesman "Suo ot tho bouse, please?" Philadelphia Record. NOTHING BTBANGE. "They say that tho Kickeys have a big skeleton in the closet." "Wouldn t bo surprised. ihtro are a great many bones of contention rouud there. Detroit rree rress. EITHER WOUIiD PO. Conductor "Your ticket, please." Passenger "I'm traveling on my face." Conductor "All right; III punch that." Town Topics. DOMESTIC METHODS. "Paw, what is your busy day?" "Well, happy urchin, it is when I itay at home to rest and your mother zets mo to do a low little odd jous iround the bouse. ueuoii Press. Free ONE WAT OF LOOKING AT IT. Alethea (blushingly) "Now, don't, Mr. Dusnap ! I know little Ferdinand is watching at the keyhole." Dusnap "Well, let's gratify his suriosity, and then he may go away." Puck. THE INTRUDER SCBVTVKD. Watts "I wonder if tho water is fit to drink yet?" Potts "Guess it is. An eel camo through our hydrant this morning and it seemed to be in good health." In lianapolis Journal. THEIR BATTLE HYMN. "Mosauitoes aro hateful, aren't they?" "Yes; I don t mind their eating mo if they didn't keep us suoh an everlast g complaint about tho way I taste.' ing oompi Chicago Record, THE FISHERBOY'S LUCK. When tho minister caught the little bov fishing instead of being nt bouooI Urn narsnn asked the lad what his mother did when he ran away like that and gave hor the slip. "Gives me the slipper." ONE THING CERTAIN. Caller "Thoy toll me, Mrs. Sourly, that your husbund is a bull on tho board of trade?" Mrs. Sourly "Don't know anything about that, but I do know thut he's a bear at home." Detroit Freo Press, A FLAT -DWELLEIt'3 WifiU. "I wish, "said Flatley, who had been to the circus and was tired ; "I wish these buildings could be trained to lie down when we cnterod them. He glanced at tho sixteenth story and heaved a great sigh. iexas hitter, LOSING TIIHIK WINP. "You have a fine climate hor," said tho visitor to a resident. ".Such a bracing air." "Yef." replied tho resident, gloom ily, "but them thoro bicyclists como along and pump tho air into their pneumatic tires and oarry it off." Truth. t RAY OF HOPE. "My son," asked Farmer Goshlcy, "what is it that causes the rotary uio tion of tho earth?" "I'm suro I don't know, father." "Mv sou. como to my arms. Yon have beon six mouths at college and there is ono thiug you aro fcuro yuu don't kuow 1" A CALLOUS SOUL. "Orlando." eho excUimoi', "tho baby has a tooth I" "ilas he?" was tho response in tone which betrayed no emotion. "You don't seem a bit surprised." "I'm not surprised. All the babies have first teeth. If this ono didn't havo uuy I'd munago to get up somo excitement, maybe." "I thought you'd be pleased and happy ubout it." "So. I don't see that it's any oc casion for especial congratulations. Tho baby has my sympathy." "Sympathy! What for?" 'For having his first tooth. Ho has just struck the opening chaptel of a long story of trouble. Pretty soon hu'U havo other teeth." "Of course he will." "Every ono ho outs will hurt him. Then his miuJ teeth will come and ui tlietc out. Thut will hurt him ayaiD. Some of th j new ones will come iu crooked, like cs not, and ho will have to go to llxs dentist aud have a block aud tuoUlo adjusted to them to haul them nroim 1 iulo line. Then he'll cut his wis-1 o iu teeth Alter that ho huvo to fo to tho dentist and let )rm drill holes uud hammer till bis f;ico fith li'io a palpitating stone ipiarrv. 1 wouldn't want huu to tl:r,)ii"'li life without tetb. But 1 u.u-.t my that I duu't tee any oojasiou 1 i- t li customary hilui'ity over au iv nt t ! i i t ir.i iins so much iu tho way o' tuii-jiv uud humiUatiou."--Dotr oit 1 ice I'fe.-s, WHEN WE ARC PAH TED. Whon wo aro parted lot mo Ho In some far corner of thy heart, Silent, nnd from tho world nfnrt, Like a forgotten molody; Forgotten of tho world beside, Cherished by one, nnd ono nlonc. For some loved memory ot its owni So lot me in thy heart nbido Whon wo are parted. Whon wo are parted, keep for mo r Tho sacred stillness of tho night; That hour, weet Love, is mine by right' Lot others claim tho day of thee! Tbo cold world sleeping at our foot, Jly spirit shall discourse with thiucj When stars upon thy pillow shine, At tby heart's door I stand and beat, Though wo are partoj Hamilton Aldo's "Poems." lll'MOn OF THE DAY. Many a man thinks he is discouraged when all that ails him is laziness. New York Advertiser. A new rocipo for making people happy: Visit them and they will be happy when yon go. Atchison Globe. , "Come into the garden, Maud," but Maud was much too wise. Said she : "Oh, no ; the corn has ears, and the potatoes eyos." Indianapolis Journal. 'It is tough, but true," said tha Cumminsville sage, "that a man gen erally does not get any foresight until he is too old to have anything to look forward to." Cincinnati Enquirer. Mrs. Kidd "There, now, thank goodness! I've sung the baby to sleep." Mr. Kidd'oor little onap I Whon he is twenty-five he won't dar to go to sleep over a woman's singing. " Truth. Fogg "The train at the time was going sixty miles an nour. x was brushed oft by a porter." Fenderson "Were you injured " eogg "io the amount of a quarter. Boston Transcript. "Toll mo." said tho young man pas sionately, "is my answer to be spelled with three lottors or two?" "inree, said the summer girl, shyly. "Darl ing!" "That is to say, u is 'nit.' " Cincinnati Enquirer. 'Don't give up the ship!" the noble oaptaln cried, As with trembling Hp 1 hastoned to the sldo. Mighty good advlao; yot if I have followed It, This reason must sufQco that Ihada tswal- Truth. "This car," said tho surly passen ger, "reminds me of an organ. It has so many stops." "Reminds ma just now of a street organ," rotorteol the tired conductor, "it goes with a crank." Philadelphia Record. Tramp (to manager of laige store) "Excuse me, sir, but I am in dis tress. Will you kindly help me out?" Manager "Certainly! (Calling por tor.) Here, Mike, help this man into tho street." San Franoisoo Wave. Miss Chilledamo "Don't you know that nature rebels against laziness? A man can get nothing in this world1 without labor." Wresting Offen "Humph! Can't be? no can git hungry, I guess." Harper's Bazar. First Young Lady (learning golf) "Dear mo, what shall I do now;? This ball is iu a hole." Seoond YoungLady (looking over a book of instructions) "Lot me see. I presume you will havo to take a stick of the right shape to get it out." First Young Lady "Ob, yes, of course Sea if you cau find ouo liko a dustpan and brush." Tit-Bits. "Custard pio," said Mr. O'Raole, a he pursuod a hunk of tho viand around his plate with his fork, "is the most democratio of foods." The new boarder, who had not learned that lis teners at table are likely to lose valu able time, stopped eating and looked up. "Because," continued Mr, O'Raclo, alter his Adam's apple had rocovered from the spasmodio move ments that aocompauied the disap pearance of tho pie, "it is never as sociated with the upper crust." Aud the meal was finished in silence Truth. j Fasletl Nearly Two Year. Dr. Tanner's famous fast of forty days is thrown into tho background as a starvation feut by the perform auoo of tho big anaconda at the Phila delphia Zoological Gardous, which was only recently tempted to eat a nice fat rabbit after going hungry for twenty-two mouths. It may have been longer, but tho koopers have no record of the oroaturo'a doings previ ous to its captivity, aud so cau't tell. It is not very unusual for a snake to abstain from food for soveral months, at tho cud of whioh time death gener ally results; but tho anaconda's oase is distinctly different from any other. It fast lasted over twice as long as auy 'n the history of the "zoo," aud dur ing the whole of its continuance there was no evideuca of ill health. The spell now seems to be entirely broken, nnd tho anaconda calls regularly for its meal;-. A Siiui'eo of Coiilaijiou. It has beeu proven by abundant in-re-stigatiou that oue prolitio source of epidemic disease is fouud iu tho lia bility of the germs of sueh disoaso to lodge iu tin mouth around tho teeth and gums. A physiciau examined the teeth of the children of a certain school. Ilo fouud disease germs present in almost every ease. By careful watehiug ho discovered that those children whose teeth Wtro kept cleanest sulVcred less from epidemic discuses. Tho neglected couditiou of the teeth is, therefore, a common cause of illness ; indeed, if oue takes tho trouble to observe with what rapidity the tartar and cheesy matter ucciliuulate arouud the teeth of people who are out of he.iltb, they will not bo loug iu mailing up their uiiuds that a thorough aud judicious use of the toothbrush is ujt Vw'ijr far from a wean of grace.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers