The Forest Republican la published overy Wednesday, by J. E. WENK. Office In Smearbaiifrh & Co.'i Building ELM STIlEUr, TION'EHTA, TA. Ivrmst, - Vl.iml'etVtnr, No subscriptions received for a shorter period than thriHi month. Correspondence solicits I from nil parts of tl: country. No nolle will bu taiteu of nuonyuioui 00:11 muulnailou. RATES OF ADVERTISINGS Ono Fqtmre, one Inch, on. lnrtlon..$ t 00 Ono Ktpisre, ono inch, one month. 811 On. F-'quare. one Inch, three months. . 1 "I On r-'ipmrp, ouft inch, ono year..... 10 M Two iStpmres, one ye-ir l'ou Quarter Column, one yenr Soon Half Column, one year , fin (M Una Column, one year . 1 Jo "U lztti advertisements ton cents par line each insertion. Alurrmics and denth notices gratis. All billstoi-yfariyadvertiscuients cnll'otd quarterly Temporary nuveruseiueuU mint be paid in advanoew Job work cash on delivery. Fore DPUBLICAN VOL. XXIX. NO. 22. TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, SEPT.-1(5, 1890. S1.00 PER ANNUM, Rl st Tho political badge manufacturers havo no reason to complain of bail time iln.l Hint n ' bicycle is no muro a vehicle than in o Bunko. An English Juilgo Las dis ogrcoil with hira. Thcro is n grim humor about the nrmy worm's ravages jn fow England. The greatest nmonut of destruction nt sny one point is on the grounds cf ouo of the Agricultural colleges. Mohutnmodun depositors in the podtofljco savings banks are enriching tho British Government, as their re ligion forbids them to receive inter OHt. They insist on taking ont no inoro than thev j)iit iu. Tbronghout Germany and Holland whenever girls can bo employed to advantage- they are taken in preforenoe to young men. At Muuich, Bavaria, the clerks and bookkeepers in tho banks are nearly all young and hand some girls. A map is swindling farmers inPonn sylvama by uicaus of a double-end fouutuin pen, one end of which he uses in drawing up contracts for har vesting machinery und the others he prosents for the farmors to use in putting their siguutnras to tho docu ments. The ink of tho contract fades, and a promiusory note is written in over tho signature. Colorado has a now millionaire in tho person of a Mr. Stoibor, who has expectations of rivaling the famous Mr. Stratton, of tho Indopcudeuoe inino. Mr. Stoiber is a mining engi neer by profession and for a long time lived very hnmbly with his wife, who is his partner in business, in a littlo oabic near Silverton, lie now has an income of $800,000 a year and has ono of the handsomest homos in Colorado. The natives of Charleston who re side near the beach hava frequently observed that when the tide goos out thoso who are at the point of death expire, A gentleman was 'asking whether or not tho rising and the fall ing of the tide had this effect upon the dying in places removed from the eoucoast, aud, if so, how far inland the inuuenoo extended. There seems to bo no doubt in the minds of those who live on the seacoast that life becomes extinct, especially iu the caso of old persons, when tho tide has goue out. Whether any scientific: research lias ever been made on this subject could not bo ascertained. Every one, how ever, almost without exception, who was spoken to know that it was a fact, and tho very general impression soemod to be that it was caused by tome electrical force controlled by the coming in and going out of the water. Among the many international con gresses which will be held in Paris during the exhibition in 1900, will be ono which is to consider the advisa bility of making a complete ohango in tho calcndur. It is proposed to aban don altogether the present astronom ical calendar, and to adopt one which will be framed from a strictly prac tical and commercial point of view. By the new institution, tho year will have twelve mouths of exactly twenty eight days each and one of twenty nine days, the lutter to huvo thirty days in leap year. With this system, tho days will como in each year al ways on the same date, January tho 1st being on a Mouday, as also will be the 8th, 15tb, 22J, aud so ou. But if this is to bo the same for cuoh year, tho week in which the twenty-ninth day of the thirteenth month falls will bo obliged to have an extra day with a now name. A society which exists in London might well find a counterpart here, suggests tho Now York Times. It it benevolent iu its character and its ob ject is to iuiprovo tho cookery aud general domestic science of the poor. This it does iu various ways. One is the circulation of simplo receipts for the preparation of food and brief tracts containing the elementary principles of sanitation. How to tell lresh meat aud fish alone has proved of great benefit iu more than one in htanee, for it in the alloy and tene ment housekeeper who are imposed upon iu these mutters. It also assists those who are auxious to become good cooks and oilers prizes for exotilleuea in cooking. In ouo way it resocnble.1 our kitchen garden schools, but its scope is rather more catholio, aul, while it does not turn out snoh fin ished and competent workers as thoie udmiiablo organizations, it tpreads the gospel over u wider field. Tho so ciety, called tho "Universal Cookery und Food Assooiitiou," Hals funds for its own members, uud has tho pat louuu of muuy titloj person", includ ing the Burouoas Burdctt Coulta. HEART, MY HEART! Honrt, my hoarl! so foud to llagor, Couio away! Once with beckoning fin nor, Sweetly oneo she bndo time stnyi "Onoo what boavonly bliss was thlno, Ouoeher lovo, an 1 poured like wlnt'i Como, oh, cornel mako no delay! Here aro those bright looks sho gave thoo, Hers alone! Whut can lingering snvo thoo? rhls swoot touch or that soft tone? Love no tearful claim can mako: Hors to give and hers to take; Yog, tho kisses all nor own. Ob, tho wealth that bnok she closes! Lips divine! Chocks, my only rose; Eyes that Hesperus outshine! All her sweetness takes she borne) Back Into my bosom como, Heart, my heart! for thou art mlno. Out, alas! I do remembers Hers tbou art! Given some fond December, Nover from hor breast to part. Bitter, bitter Is thy lot, To be hers that loves thoo not, Mine no longer, breaking heart. M. Ghose.iu tho Aeadomy. IN SUPPORT OF A THEORY. b irH 1HE house party at Westwood were dawdling over their oofl'ee on the moonlit piazza. . It was a merry crowd ; everybody knew evorybody else, and there was much laughter and talk, but suddenly a silence fell. ffiSwAiijjw Then it became patent to all that the couple seated on tho steps leading to the lawn were engaged in a quiet but bitter altercation. Tho girl's listless air was in striking contrast to tho man', eagerness. "Your idea is an ausurt! ono," he ex claimed. "Oh, fie I" she said, "to speak so rudely to a woman." "It is not rudeness, bnt truth," "Then they are apparently synony mous," "I can't help it ; it exasperates me to bear en intelligent girl like yon " "Now where," sho broke in, "did yon pick that np? I am not the least bit intelligent I If I were I would know bettor than to arguo with you ; it is so perfectly hopeless" sighing "and you do gut so excited." "Aud who wouldn't? listening to such impossiblo theories!" "You don't have to t I never asked you to talk to me. 1 came out here to bo by myself, and vou deliberately followed me. Why didn't you stay with the others? They aro all pleas anter than 1 am." "Humility," he said, "is a cloak that fits badly on your shoulders." "My sleoves are too large, perhaps 1 but really you misunderstand I havo an exoelleut opinion of myself, I can be quite agreeable, when I choose, but am not in the mood to-night." "Then according to your theory you ought to be most attractive." - "What is your theory, Kute?" oollod her cousin. "One you havo heard me express thonsauds of times before." ".Shall I toll him, Miss Doane?" "Certainly." ".She says that a man doctn't like to feel too confident of a woman's affec tion ; that it is the clement of uncer tainty in love affairs that makes them interesting; that he enjoys being puz zled aud played with,- and that a clever womun has only to Appear in different to first piquo aud then ot traot him." "Heresy?" exolaimed a party of manly voioos. "Mr. Stewart has omitted an im portant clause," said Miss Doane. "I added that to do this the woman must necessarily be good to look at aud not lacking in this world's goods." "Oh, Kate, Kate," sighed hor cousin, "would you insinuate that the masculine fanoy is influenced by worldly advantages? Bhe shrugged her shoulders: "I have stated my case ; you oan make it what you choose." The hostess, who had been listening idly, now put in a word. "The trouble with you all is that you analyze too much," she said "Why not take things as they como, without worrying over their possiblo oauses? It is so much simpler and healthier. Miss Douue turned around : "Isn't Madge charming?" she said amiably, 'To hear her you would suppose that she had never seen the inside of a drawing room. Bhe ulwajs gets like that when she comes to the country something in tho air, probably." "And you?" said Stewart, when the laughter following her speech had died away; "has it no effect on you? 'The country? Oh, yes, it makes me if that is possible more indolent than usual," and she leaned her head against the pillar aud looked not at him, but past him tJ the stretch of rosy sky. "What an actress you are I" ho said: "you aro not the least bit indifferent, really, but it hus amused ycu to pose as such bo long that now It has almost become second nut are. "To pose as auythiug involves a cer tain amount of personal exertion. "Well, doubtless, you Und it worth while, if (your audience is apprecia tive; uud it usually is, I fancy. "Have you noticed those two olouds?" she said. "It is curious-to watch how they keep floating first toward und then away from each other, like people who are playing at cross purposes. "You were evidently not listening to a word I was suying. . "Oh, yes, I was. You' were scold iug me, but you generully ure, you know, and you said something about my posing, ion havo tola mo mat often bofore, aud so " "And ho apparently tboro was no noed of listening to me. I had no idea I was such a bore." - Sho looked at him, saying: "Now, you seo, you aro angry ogam ! Don't you think," leauing toward him conll dnntially, "yon ought to do some thing for your tomper? It mny got yon into troublo somoday. Not every body is as amiable as 1 1" ".Still wrautrling?" nskod Curl Aius lio, lounging down tho steps. "My deni young friends, it grieves mo to tho heart to seo such a display of un christian feeling. 'Lot dogs delight to bark and bite.' " "Blame Mr. Stewart, and sot mo," snid the youug girl ; "you know, Carl, that I huvon't the energy to quarrel with any one, especially iu this weather." "Of courso not. Miss Doane only says the things that mako other peo ple want to row." "A chaining character you hove given me ; alter that 1 think l will abandon tho field to you. Como, Carl," with a quick cuaugo of moa ner, "lot's go down to the lake for a row." (Stewart watched them with wrath in his heart tho girl was talking gayly, her soft laugh floating back to him. 'There goes a living denial of her theory," he thought. "She is kiud- noss itself to Ainslie and ho is devo ted to her. Indifference, indeed I I'd like to see the woman who could at tract mo by that. As for Miss Doane, she is a heartless little flirt, and I don't intend to fret myself about her, and ho climbed the steps and stalked gloomily off to the smoking room. "Kate, said young Ainslie, resting on his oars, "1 m your cousin ana havo a right to tell you when I think you are doing wrong; ro 1 say do leave poor old btewart alone I "Leave poor oi l Stewart alonor indignantly, "I think you had better suggest his leaving mo alone." Of course, now, you know very well what I mean. It's all right for you to trample on Herbert and Beado and myself, we ro used to it neon broken , in too long to protest but Stewart's ahother sort; ho cares aw fully abont things." "Oh, indeed, so ho 'cares awfully, and the rest of you I suppose, are only amusing yourselves." How you teuse a follow I Mo what I mean is that he is so terribly 'all there,' don t you know, that if ho lets himself be hard hit it would kuock him out completely to have you throw him over." 3o terribly 'all there' what a graphio expression, let undeniably true in this case ; but why do you tike it for granted that I will throw him over?" Mr. Ainslio's face expressed the ut most consternation, "well, roally, I don't know, but I thought, 1 somehow ooucluded " "What?" "Why," a brilliant idea striking him, "that you didn't care for any body, aud wouldn't uutil you had seen more of the world, for you are very young, Kate, in spite of your many experiences." "Carl, said Miss Doauo solemnly, "tho bar has lost a shining mark in you, but 1 am proud to claim you as a relative. . It was a fortnight later ; the house party would disperse on the morrow, and Miss Doane, to whom Westwood was dear, was taking a farewell stroll through the gardens. She was idling down a path when, catching Bight of Stewart over the tops of the roso bushes, she ostentatiously put up her parasol and turned in tho other direc tion. But ho was not to bo bo easily thrown off; with a curl of the lip (for he had recognized the waueeuvro) he hurried toward her. "Miss Doane 1" he cried, "will you spare me a few minutes?" She turned her head. "I am not in a pleasant framo of mind. Uncle forwarded mo my dress maker's bill this morning, with certain pungent comments of his own ap pended, and my best manuscripts has just been returned to me as 'unavail able,' so tho atmosphere is not rosy." "Never mind about thut. I will not detain you long," aud he pulled up a bench. For a fow moments- there was silence, for now thut ne had gained the coveted interview Stewart did not seem to know what to oay, and Miss Doane, with the poiut of her parasol, bketched triangles and circles und all sorts of impossible devices in the sandy path. While looking the pic ture of careless luattention, she was iu reality curious to know how long her companion intended to oontinue staring ahead of him. When ho finally did speak his remark was so diff erent from what she expected that she al most started. "I suppose ycu know you are very beautiful," ho said. "Doubtless your mirror has told you that already, so I need not weary you with repetitions, but 1 feel sure thut you do not realize how absolutely charming you are." She looked ut him wouderiugly ; it was a favorite method ot hers, and usually worked well, but now it failed to produce the effect she intended. "Don't look like that," he said, "or I shall think you ure not sincere, und I don't wuut to think that. I want to Carry away tho kindest thoughts of you." "You have chuugod," she said. "Ten days ago you told Mury l'air I was thoroughly heartless." "Did 1? Well, that only Bhows I was a fool. I know you better now ; and what is more, I understand you." A slight pause. "I heard up ut tho house that you were engaged to your cousin, uud while the news could not but hurt mo, it was iu one souse u relief, for I knew at ouco why you hail avoided and al most ignored me. You wanted to save mo pain. Experience has taught me that if a mnn saw much of you ho generally carod for you, aud you triod to ward me off. But you cannot keep the moth from the caudle, aud I loved you in spite of yonr coldness. It al most looks as if thcro was something in your theory, doesn't it?" Miss Doane gathered hersolf to gether. Stewart did not know it, but sho was summoning courage to tell hira the truth about herself. She loved to be well thought of, and it was a genuine eacritlce to Fpeak, but she could not, in common honesty, allow him to remain nndcr his de lusion. "You must not think too well of me," she began. "I could not," ho cried. "One rarely sees so much youth and beanty and simple goodness united ai I find in you." Simple goodness I Tho word( scorched her. "You lire all wrong," she cried, with burning cheeks. "I am not the least bit like that. Don't you see? Can't you understand? It voxod mo to have you laugh at my theory, so I dotcrmiuod to make you an example of its truth. It was from no good motive not to 'ward you off' or 'to save ydu pan,' but with the distinct intention of making you care for mo, 'that I pretended to be indifferent.' " Stewart got slowly to his feet. "And so," he said, "in support of a theory, for tho sake of proving your self iu the right, you could play with a man's heart and make havoc of his life. Fool, fool, that i wus, not to understand !" and he struck ono palm sharply against the other. "Well," with sarcastio courtesy, "tho point is gained, tho poor dupe is at your feet. I hopo you are content." "Coutont I" sho cried. "I was nev er bo sorry in my lifo. It 6ooms strange I should care, doesn't it? As you say, I have gained my point and yet-" "Yes," he said, "and yet?" Instead of replying sho turned her head swiftly away, but not before he had seen that her eyes were full of tears. Ho stood irresolute, overcome bvFurorite; then he approached her, ""Don't cry like that," he said, "Yon never aeant to hurt me ; it was a pretty bit of acting to you, and if I was stupid and overdid my part you are not to blamo. There, look up. What will your cousin say if bo learns I distressed yon?" "What is it to me what my cousin thinks?" Mr. Stewart started. "Pardon ne, bnt I thought that being eugaged to him" "I am not engaged to him. Noth ing is further frou my intention." A silence followed. Then Miss Doane rose to depart, but Stewart, whose mind had been adjusting itself to the changed situation, put out a de taining baud. "Kate," he said, "if you are not going to marry your cous in, perhaps there might bo a chance for some one else. " "Perhaps." Ho drew nearer. "I know I'm a perfect fool to rush on my futo, but what's worth haviug is certainly worth askiug for. Kate, will you marry me?" She smile'1, but hor eyes were very tender. "I believe yon do love mo," sho said. "Well, a little." "And il 1 marry yon, I know I shall be hnppy. Yon ure so strong and true, and have my confidence so ut terly, but I have been horrid to you, sc rude and disagreeable that I don't see how you can stand me." "Whv, you aro going back on youi theory." "The girls will certainly laugh, and Carl will nover leavt ma alone about it, but I don't cure," lifting hor face resolutely, "I- love yon, and there' no use pretending I don't." A little while later she looked up. "I always taid I would never cire for anybody," she remarked, "what will this prove?" "That you are a woman," be said. New Orleans Timcs-Domocrat. About Opening letters. Perhaps it is a little bit lute to make the discovery, but I find from time immemorial we have been directing all our letters on the wrong side. The direction ougkt to bo on the back in stead of what is now called tho front of the envelope. There would be much fewer mistakes abont opening letters belonging to others if this were the cose in fact, it would bo well nigh impossiblo for it to occur. Peo ple with a lurge ainouut of correspon deuce frequently put all their letters face downward aud then proceed to suip the envelopes; theu they go through thorn again uud take the let t?rs out, aud sometimes find they have snipped an envelope belonging to some one else. All this might be avoided if we wrote the address on the Bide the envelope is fastened. It would alsc have another advantage, the stam would bo absolutely canceled by being torn across when the letter wus opened. This would effectually put an end to tho ncfurious machinutioni of those people who are suid to be able to remove the official obliteration iu order that tho stamps may be used agaiu. I do not suppose my sugges tion will immediately change the use! of a century, but I fuuey there ure uoi a few of my readers who may be iu clined to think thut the idea is worth trying. Loudou Graphic. Die! L'nJr I'eculiur t'ircumstauces A ten -year-old girl of Zunesvillo, Ohio, died recently under peculiar oir cumstuuees. She was a bright girl, read every line she could And, and at tor tho St. Louis cyclone wus tho vio tim of nervous prostration. She roue everything about the calamity. Dur iug a thunder-storm thut prevailed a' Zuuesville recently she said there wot another tornado com iug, aud soot) suffered another prostration, from tht effects ot which she died. THE M till 11 Y SIDE OF LIFE. STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BT THE rVSSY MF.S OF TUB PRESS. A Human Peculiarity Where tho Hhoo l'lnchps Kamlly Jars Hoarding House Joke, Ktc., Ktc. Each vows the snot whornon bo dwells Is qulto tho hottest on this sphere, And so each mnn In summer flies To sock a ooolor atmosphere. And that's why Jenkins of l'ohie-k Has goue to Hoovllln by the sea, Whilo Jones of Hoevllle every year Lives at l'ohlck contentedly. Washington Star. BOAllDINO HOVSE JOKE. Star Boarder "Why is a great singer liko an old salt?" Cheerful Idiot "Because she makes hor money on tho high C's." Detroit Journal. JUSTIFIABLE. Daughter "Mamma, if 1 must write to Mr. Bray about his extortionnto bill, should I Buy, 'Dear Mr. Brey?'" Mamma "Certainly, under the circumstances." Chicago Poet. TARDY. Dora "Can't you ridea. bicycle yet? Why, Mr. Silverspoon hos been teach ing you for three weeks." Cora "1 know it. But ho hasn't proposed yet." Louisvillo Times. WHERE mE SHOE PINCHES. Miss Stinger "Well, you needn't, complain ; every woman ohooses her own husband, you know." Mr. Nipper "Yos, tho only troublo is she doesn't always get him." Truth. A BANK SKEPTIC. Spirit (at Lily Dale seance) "Don't you know mo? I am tho spirit of your mother-in-law." Invcstigntor "You can't fool mo. My mother-in-law always brought her trunk with her." Buffalo Times. ntOBAsny. She "I havo often wondered what the wild waves are saying." He "Judging from tboir roar, I should say they were joining in the general kick against the high prices at this resort." Pearson's Weekly. WHAT PAPA SAID. Willie "Mamma, havo daisies got feet?" Mamma "No, Willie, why?" "I heard papa toll Mr. Gayboy that he saw a couplo of them walking down Broad street last night." Philadelphia P.ecord. WrtEKB IGNORANCE 13 BLISS. Mr. Slimpnrse "What! Want to got a now maid for Fashion Boueh? Why don't you take the one you have?" Mrs. Slimpnrse "Sho knows how wo live when we're at home. "--New York Weekly. THE MODERN FALL. "You say that Deacon Smntters was not at church this morning? 1 won der if it is possible that he can havo fallen from grace?" "No ; 1 understand that ho fell from hia bicyolo and broke his nose." Cleveland Leader. FAMILY JAB3. - Angry Wife "deems to mo we've been married about a hundred yearJ. I can't even remember wheu or whero we flrst met." Husband (emphatically) "lean. It was at a dinucr party, aud there wore thirteen at table." Tit-Bits. HOW IT HAPPENED. "I understand that your side lost some men iu an eugagemeut with the Cubans." The Spanish officer glured and said nothing. "Bad generalship, eh?" "No. Typographical error." Wash ington Star. HOW CHARLIE SAVED UEB. "That Churlio Spindles is a horrid fellow, isn't he?" "Yes, but he onoe saved rue from a mad bull." "How was that?" "I saw Charlie comiug and went through another Held." Clevdlund Plain Dealer. UNREASONABLE. "Pically, June, deur, said Mr. Bob beter to his wife, as they tat down iu tho theatre, "your hat is much too high. Take it off, uud put it iu your lap." "Well, 1 liko that," snapped Mrs. Wife; "if I put thut hat iu my lap, how am I going to see ever it?" Boston Transcript. AN VNEXHECTEU REVELATION. Young Man -"Ah ! How do, Dick? Is yonr sister at home?" Littlo Dick "Which sister? The homely ouo what's goiu' to have all of pa's money, because the'u likely to bo a u old maid, or the pretty ouu whut ain't goin' to have unythiug?" Y'ouug Mau "Um -er both of them."--New York Weekly. A Kl'lTICU NT REASON. Dr. rure8iJ "I think a European trip would benefit that putient of yours." Dr. Kallowmell "I know it would." Dr. Paresis " vVhy dou'tyou recom mend it? Are you i.frail ho cau't afford it?" Dr. Kallowmell "Thut's not it. I'm afruid I can't afford it." Judge. Emperor William has contributed out of his private funds the sum of 83250 toward the building of a Ucr mau school iu Athens, Greece. SCIENTIFIC AXI INDUSTRIAL. Ninoty-fonr per cent, (4 the street railroads in the State of New York are now operated by electricity. The latest works on anthropology say that it cannot be proven that any race of giants ever peoplod the globe. Tho only fur-covered, fonr-footcd member of tho animal kingdom which lays eggs like a fowl is the native beaver of Australia. Tho human brain, according to Cuvier, is the one-twenty-eighth part of the body; that of tho horse but the one-four-hundreth part. Soil brought np from a depth of 320 feet in a vault in one of tho Bel gian mines is said to have grown weeds unknown to the botanists. C. 0. Tarsons, Bossemer, Ala., says that it is impossiblo for a beo to carry ond store poisoned honey. It would kill her before she got to the hive. Professor Metericht, tho Paris meteorologist, calculates that a hot, bright day in midsummer sees not loss than 6,2SO,O00,O0l) tons of wator evap orated from the surface of tho Medi terranean Sea. The pathological museum, for which Professor Virohow has been collecting material for the last forty years, is at last to bo built in Berlin, the Govern ment having voted the necossary fnnns for the struotnre. It is said that Dr. Max Wolf, of Heidelberg, who has discovered a number of asteroids, has nover direct ly seen an asteroid. His discoveries have been made from photographio plates, whilo stars aro shown us points. There seems to be eome difference of opinion as to tho location of the cold est spot in tho world. JDr. Myer says that at Hildje, Siberia, eighty-five de grees below the zero of Fahrenheit is considered nothing out of tho ordin ary. Drs. Brissaud and Marie, two French authorities ou nervous dis eases, cite Prinoe Bismarck as one of the few instances of very bright mind found in a very tall body. They say that the healthiest persons are rather under than above tho middle height and that tho children who come out best at school examinations in France are those whose bodies havo grown slowly. W. H. Loyd, of Duluth, Minn,, an officer of the Northern Pacific Bail woy Company, has invented a method of tolographing diagrams and drawings which deserves notice. It consists in telegraphing by predetermined signs the positions of a series of points on a sheet of paper cross ruled into squares and then joining the points thus laid down on a similar .sheet of papor at the distant station by Hues, bo as to reproduce the original figure. An Incident of a Kentucky l'lo i.l. Rousseau Johnson lives with his family in Hatton, through which DutelrFork of Benson Creek passes. Mr. Johnson's little frame house sits on a gcutlo slope fifty yards from tho creek. About 3 o'clock Tuesday morning he was awakened by water creeping over the bod on which he, his wife aud three small children slept. They all jumped out, Johnson aud his wife grabbiug the children. Tho wuter in the room was up to their waists. Mrs. Johnson held both the children, while her husband jumped through the kitchen window ou the upper side of the house and theu lift ed tbem through. The ruin was fall ing in torrents and they sought shel ter in tho woodshod. The water roso rapidly and they had to leave, going to the henhouse, ten feet distant, aud further, up tho hillside. They ro inuincd there until C o'clock in the morning with tho water up to their ankles, Mrs. Johusou holding a mouth old baby in hor arms all tho time. As soon as daylight came Johnson made his way to tho house of a neighbor, where he received a horse aud wagon and hauled his family away. Louis ville Courier-Journal. This Fish Ale Hoses. A fish thut eats roses as a rcgnlai diet is owned by a well-known piscu toriulist. It is a Jupaucsu iautuil uud lives in a small uquurium with miscel laneous specimens of tho lluny tribe. The way this lish happened to be;: in its diet of roses was quite accidental. Tho present owner was ouo duy changing the water iu the aquarium when a small ton rose fell Irom tho lupel of his coat into tho bowl. Tho fuutail was flouting neur tho surface, und darted for the rose und began eat ing it. Tho owner did not interfere aud the fish consumed nearly ull the rose. He thought the matter odd and daily pnt a rose into tho bowl. That was two summers a ;o. Onj of uc owner's daily duties t-inco that tune has been to tecuro a roso for tho llsh. Last winter, wheu roses were not plentiful, ho neglected this duty, and tho llsh would not go near the food put into tho bowl for several days. How to Eut Bananas. The banana yields mora food to tho acre thuu any other plaut, and yet it disagrees with no end of Northern stomachs. This is buouuso we eat it the wrong way. But the wifj of u missionary to tho tropics tells the glad tidings from heutheu shores ot how to e-ut a banana. hen you have stripped off the williug rind, just scrape off the ttringy uud hairy cout that lies beneath tho rind, aud you may eat your hunuua without tasting it ull tho rest of the day. St. Louis Stat Sayings. Silver Mure Durable. A gold coin pusses from ouo to another 2,00ti,0J0,0t)D times before tho stump or impression upon it be comes obliterated by ftietiou, whilo a silver ooin changes botwecu J,2j0, OiJU.OOU times before it becomes en tirely defaced. THE PRIDE OF THE COUNTRY SIDE Ob! Phyllis Is surpassing fair, I know a maid that's fairer ; Her benutv Is beyond compare No beauty cou!d be rarer; Bhe seorneth fickle fashion's gulde.J And russet is her gown Yet she's the prldo of the country side, And the envy of the town! Bho Is a iJiieon we nil declare, Though no crown she possesses. Beyond a wenlth of rich brown hnlr, Tint linngs In dainty tresses; Her matchless oyes havo long outvied Tho gems In monarch's crown Aud she's the prl Jo of the country sldo And the envy of tho town! Her form is full of fairy grace. Her voice is musto-mellow, And, oh! tho bloom upon her face Is tho red rose's fellow: And! he who wins her for bis brldo Wins moro than wealth, renown For she's the prldo ot tho country sldo And the envy of the towu! F. J. Cox, In Chambers's Journal. HUMOR OF THE DAY. When men aro not regretting that life is so short they are doing somo- thing to kill time. Atchison Globe. "Why docs Stimson always carry ht3 ' umbrella closed when it rains?" "He is afraid the owner may recognize it." Detroit Free Press. Lord Noeonnt (proudly) "I can trace my descent lrom William tho Conqueror." Cyuicus "You have been a loua time ou the downward path." Truth. "Does your family sympathize with you when yon have insomnia?" "Yet. When I can't sleep I sit np all night and practice ou my accordion." Chicago Kecord. "Alas I father, I have lost my heart," wailed the heroine. The villain scowled. "Careless girl I" ha exclaimed between his clinched teeth. Philadelphia Kecor J. For Bcgiuucrs: Inventor "I'm working on a cyclometer." Friend- "What is tho speciul featnre?" In ventor "It registers tho number of. times you fall." Puck. "Have you read that article 'How to Toll a Bad Egg?' " "No, I haven't; but my advice would be if you havo anything important to tell a bad egg, why, break it gently." Household Words. "This blackberry pio isn't nearly so good as those mother used to make." "No; I told your mother this morn ing when she mado it that you woald bo sure to liud fault with it." Chicago ltecord. Miss Oldfriend "I declare I begin to feci thut I'm growing old. It's really unpleasant." Mi us Becky Sharpe "Yes, dear, it must bo especially so for one who has been youug so long I" Staudurd. At tho Camping Party : The Crank "This is the last timo I'll ever camp out I" Tho Enthusiast "Well, you shouldn't camp out, unlets you can en jov vourself without being comfort able."" Puck. "Are you taking swimming lessons, Cadby?" "No, old fellow. It's too. much bother. My valet is learning, and as I never go anywhere without him, if I fell in tho watuli he could rescue me." Harper's Bazar. A coutempoiary asks: "How can a bloomer girl climb a tree when sho sees a cross bull in her path?" Sho can do it "like a littlo mau." That is one of tho advantages of the homely bloomers. Morristown Herald. She "I thought you said the soa sido never drew you to it?" He (im pressively) "It wus not the seasido drew mo hero." She "Of couise you camo by train, didn't you? It was the engine drew you I" Illus trated Bits. Precious Timo : Mrs. Wheeler "My husband and I decided not to go to Europe, because it takos too loug to get there." Mrs. Jones 'Too loug?" Mrs. Wheeler "Yes; fuuey boiug uu ablo to use one's wheel for six or seven days!" Puck. Tourist "So that's tho oldest in habitant? One hundred uud four years old I No wonder you are proud of him." Native "I duuuo ; he ain't douo uothin' iu this hero place 'cept grow old, nil' it's took a sight o' time to do that !" Tit-Hits. Lost for Ever: "I wus uufortuuuto enough to leuve my umbrella iu a street cur yesterday." remarked Man chester. "Whoso umbrella was it?" uskod Birmingham. "1 dou't know. 1 borrowed it lrom Snaggs." Pitts burg Chronicle-Telegraph. i Lost Heirloom : "There is no gout in Sir Percy's family, is there?" "Not now ; thcro was, formerly. It wus introduced into family by Sir lto land Iliijlalivcr, 'cut ihey auve been so poor for tho las. two hundred years that they -louldu't keep it up." Puck. Holuu "Oh, yes; he always thought the world of me. Before we wortf married ho used to say thut ho was villiug to dio lor me." Nellie "But lin didn't." Ucleu "Of courso not. He was so thoughtful, you know. Ho said that he did not dare do it, lest f should be uuublo to replace tho loss." Boston Transcript. twicer English. There is a siguboard above the gate way ol tho J'yo Inliriuury, Newcastle-upon-Tyue, which tells us that "When this gate is closed urgent cases aud accidents muut riug tho front door bell." About tho middle ot tho century a uotico uppeurod on tho Tyuemouth sauds to the effect wo quote from memory "Visitors uro cautioned uguiust bathiug withiu 100 yards of tins spot, several persous having boeu drowned hero roceuily by order of tho authorities." Notes uud Muencs.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers